Kim's Convenience (2016) s04e09 Episode Script

Which Witch is Which

1 Oh! You know this is my favourite pizza.
Thank you for getting me this.
I not get for you.
We run out, I order more.
- That's how store work.
- Oh, but I know the truth.
Remember last week when I came in looking for a comfort pizza because my boyfriend had dumped me? - I don't remember.
- Come on, I I was almost in tears right over there.
You almost always in tear.
Every time you come in, you is laughing or hugging or gasping or crying.
Should I be more like you? I tell you my cousin is getting married, nothing.
I tell you I saw a pigeon get slaughtered by a cyclist, nothing.
I will be a stone, dead inside.
I wish.
Pizza's $9.
It's a celebration pizza.
My boyfriend and I are back together.
For happy boyfriend reunion.
Thank you.
What kindness.
Because I care about you.
- Uh-huh.
- I think you is probably most special customer in the whole neighborhood inside my I knew it! I knew it! See? You just so easy to break.
Is it crazy to think that we could go for a beer sometime? - Very crazy.
- 'Cause you said you - care about me.
- I was lying.
I can see some emotion in there.
- That not emotion.
- Ah! Look at us.
Two hot-blooded soulmates! Just go! Before I throw out pizza and never order more again.
I know you're not a stone.
He's not a stone! What was that? Something I'll regret for rest of my life.
It's getting late.
Bye, bye.
See you later.
Thanks, but I already know where to find Jesus.
Guess what I find? Aicham! Yobo, this coffee mug all fuzzy inside.
- What you doing? - Finding you secret mess.
Oh, how you know it's mine, huh? Because I keep nice thing here like photo of Jung and drawing Janet drew of me when she is little.
Not a mouldy snack and half-finish crossword, like you.
Lots of picture of you with a broom.
Yeah, because I always cleaning up after you.
And pointy hat, dress all in black.
- Yeah.
- Oh, look, here you is stirring big black pot of soup with crow on shoulder and black cat.
Janet draw me as witch? Not all witch.
See? Oh, that's you wearing underwear and a blanket.
Actually, that's me as a Super Appa! Okay, Super Appa go back in time and keep super mouth shut.
Oh, man, I love this song.
Crankin' it! God, Omar! I told you to turn it down.
You kidding me? This is my jam.
Crankin' it! - You still remember the routine? - Oh, God, it's been so long.
How does it even go again? That's good, that's good.
But I think you're missing something.
Oh, yeah.
Imagine how good they'd be if they weren't missing something.
That was a-mah-zing.
Yeah, just a little something Kimch and I threw together back in the day.
You know, I'm actually a pretty good dancer myself.
- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
Maybe I'll give you a private performance sometime.
- Maybe I'd like that.
- Maybe you will.
I mean, you definitely will.
You're not the only show in town, mister.
- Hey, Umma.
- Janet.
I need green tea but can't remember - the one I like.
- Uh-oh.
Which one is one which you like? I don't remember.
I just said that.
I can tell you green tea I like.
- Yeah, so which one, do you like - A-ha! Okay, what's going on? Explain this.
- Oh, my God.
- Like I say, - A-ha! - You umma find old picture and get so obsess, eh? What do you have to say for yourself? Mrs.
Lee hasn't seen these, has she? Th This is picture of Mrs.
Lee? Yeah.
Who else would it be? Oh, yeah.
It look just like her.
Why you draw Mrs.
Lee like a witch? She was the worst babysitter.
- Super strict.
- Mmm.
I always had to go to bed at, like, 7:00, and she made me do homework on Friday night.
- Yeah, she so terrible.
- Yeah.
Still, that was a long time ago.
I'd hate to hurt her feelings, so maybe we should just get rid of these? Good idea.
You know, you Appa think I was the witch.
That's hilarious.
That's what I say.
So hilarious.
All those pictures are pretty ridiculous.
Well, not all of them.
Yeah, all of them.
Hello? Hey, Ajumma.
- Oh, you cooking.
- Yeah, just making spaghetti.
- You want some? - I heat this up also.
Always nice to have choice.
Oh, and I bring you something else.
Jung Kim, rockin' the tween years.
Is that a baby moustache? Yeah, he draw a moustache to impress girl.
So desperate.
Yeah, I'll take that, thank you very much.
No, I show to you.
I keep for myself.
And look, uh? Janet make a funny picture of Mrs.
Lee as witch.
Oh, careful, spaghetti is burning.
Janet drew Mrs.
Lee as a witch, too? What do you mean, "too"? To show what a mean person Mrs.
Lee was.
I'm guessing.
I don't really know.
Yeah, Mrs.
Lee was different things to different people, so That's true.
One person's witch is another person's Santa Claus.
Or a leprechaun Why would Janet say she draw Mrs.
Lee, when she don't draw Mrs.
Lee? - Jung? - Well, it's just, um You know, she probably didn't Who is witch? Hello, Gus.
Anything else? - Just the usual.
- $15.
Looks like I'm a bit short.
Well, I'll I'll put the drink back.
Ah, it's okay.
- You get me next time.
- That's mighty kind of you.
Yeah, you might even say Super kind.
And don't think I'll forget, either.
You'll get it all back, with interest, one day.
This one.
Looks like today is not that day.
Well, you never know when you luck change.
Maybe today.
Maybe sooner.
- What's sooner than today? - I mean, you might find something good, right under you nose.
Message received.
You've been really good to me, Mr.
I'll pay my tab as soon as I can.
No, that's not what I mean.
But, uh, yeah.
Heard a rumore that your compadre is occupado ce soiree.
He's at Gwen ee's Well, I believe I promised a certain gentleman a dance.
Uh, uh, uh.
No touching the dancers.
Just sit back and enjoy the show.
Oh, wow.
That is It's actually kinda hot.
Well, stay hydrated 'cause it's about to get a lot hotter in here.
Wow, this is, um What is this? Oh, still going.
- Oh, and a pepperoni stick.
- Oh.
They're Eddy Chan's favourite.
- He's still in hospital? - For a few more days.
Pastoral care never ends.
Well, we all have to do right thing.
That's what I do.
I do, but I don't have to talk about.
That's the spirit.
Like Bible say, "It's more good to give than to receive.
" And I know because I do.
Oh Did I get soup? - Oh.
- Yes.
Okay, since you ask, I find $100 bill outside.
- Oh? - So I ask myself, "What would the Jesus do?" So you called the police.
I put aside, in case person who lose money - come back to find.
- Oh.
- Well, let's hope they do.
- Yeah.
No, because I give $100 to customer who always need money.
But technically it wasn't your money to give.
I don't think you hearing part where I doing like the Jesus.
Oh, sorry, I've got to run.
I've gotta time this just right if I want to get there when Eddy's Ambien kicks in.
Dude, you're not wearing my underwear again, are you? No.
But I'm sore from dancing the other day.
Oh, well, dancing can be painful.
Shannon reminded me last night.
Hey, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.
She was actually Highland dancing.
Like with bagpipes? It was not sexy.
So, you couldn't - Oh, God, imagine? - I would die.
So, what's the problem? It's a huge turn-off.
It required a lot of "visualization," if you know what I mean.
You had to dip into the reel.
More like a deep dive into the reel, director's cut.
- So, what are you going to tell her? - Nothing.
Big mistake, bro.
What if she puts Highland dancing into steady rotation? She did leave her kilt in my closet.
'Cause she thinks you liked it.
And I said "wow" a lot.
Exactly! If you don't tell her now, you can't tell her later after she's done it again.
She'll feel like an idiot.
Trust me.
Gwen's into baby talk.
I thought it was a one-time thing and she'd stop, but It nebbah ends, Twung.
Nebbah ebbah.
Oh, Gus.
How you going? Anything excite happen? Not really.
You know, the same old, same old.
You not find anything special when you get home other day? Nope.
Wait, that's not true.
I found this bag in an old suitcase.
It's like you said the other day, something good was right under my nose.
Uh, what you do with the old bag? I threw it out.
Why you do that? Have you seen all the pockets in this one? - And the zipper practically closes.
- Oh, Gus.
I put money in old bag.
Mmm? $100 bill.
Oh, thank you.
Where is old bag? In there? Yeppers.
So Oh.
My bad.
Caramel macchiato.
Pour vous.
You didn't have to get me that just because I said I was dreaming about drinking one.
The third text you sent kind of made it seem like it did.
Well, it is a lovely surprise.
Not unlike the performance I got to see the other night.
I know, right? So energetic and hoppy.
No one's ever done that for me before.
Oh, was it too much? It was, wasn't it? No.
No! I loved it.
It just seemed like so much work for you.
All the rehearsing and kicking and and flinging.
It was a lot of work, actually.
So, don't get too used to it.
Special occasions only.
Well, guess I'll have something to look forward to.
Maybe mark Robbie Burns Day in your calendar.
Is that more than once a year or Oh, you wish.
Hello, Janet.
Is your umma around? She invited me over for tea.
- Yeah, she's just upstairs.
- Oh, Mrs.
Nice to see you.
What are you doing? Oh, Janet! Where these come from? Oh, Mrs.
Lee, so sorry you have to see.
I can't see anything.
Ow! Oh, don't look.
Don't look.
Janet draw.
Oh, is this You, yeah.
Children can be so cruel, even to people who take care of them, and feed them, and give them everything.
I'm sorry.
I feel so bad.
But maybe not bad enough.
Actually, this is pretty good.
And I was strict.
I forgive you.
No, you can't forgive so fast.
Have to tell how you so angry.
Thank you.
And you were a great babysitter.
Oh, picture tell a different story.
You were a joy to watch.
And you've grown into such a lovely young woman.
Aww! You is not the witch! I am the witch.
That That make more sense.
So you set up one of your best friends just to prove a point? That is seriously mean, Umma.
You is the mean girl.
You draw picture of your own umma as a witch and lie about? I was six.
And already so mean.
So, is there tea? Pair of mitten.
No nest.
No, wig.
But no bag.
Kim? Oh, Pastor Nina.
So nice to see you.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah.
Very okay.
Huh? We just looking for something.
Because This is Gus.
Customer I give money to.
You can really hear yourself breathe in this thing.
I I not put money in the dumpster.
I put in a bag that he throw away so now it's in the dumpster.
I was in there, too.
Oh, uh, excuse me.
Whoa! - Well, that was a trip down memory lane.
- Yeah.
- Used to be in there quite a bit.
- Yeah, okay.
Because of a big misunderstanding, I give to you this.
Oh, this is very kind of you.
No, wait, give back.
- Mr.
Kim! - No.
I not take.
- I giving.
- It's true.
Kim has almost given me $150.
Sounds like your almost lucky day.
I'll see you Sunday, Mr.
Whoa, she didn't even offer to get in the dumpster.
Am I waiting for the lady to come back or Just take.
Janet think I'm witch? I wish I was.
Then I use magic and poof, turn her into good daughter.
Circle of parenting.
You umma mean to you, you mean to Janet, Janet mean to Chang Jo.
- Who is Chang Jo? - Janet's daughter.
Why Janet is naming her daughter after you umma, not mine? Because you umma also mean.
I am nothing like my umma.
All the time pick, pick, pick.
My appa is same, mmm? One time I think he's trying to hug me, but he just squeeze by in a small hallway.
Yeah, and you think our parent ever think about our feeling or say sorry to us? "Oh, so sorry, Yong-mi, for spanking you.
" "I apologize, Sang-Il, for always yelling.
" Still, treat them mean, keep them keen, mmm? - Yeah.
- Mmm.
Umma? What are you doing? I already clean out fridge and do laundry.
You're the best, Mrs.
Oh, the best? It's okay, Umma.
I can make my own bed.
I'm here to take care of you.
Even though I'm very tired from all the time working to send you to expensive art school.
It's not that I'm not grateful, but - What are you holding? - Nothing.
- My flash drive? - Oh, I thought it was for the vaping.
You were snooping.
You ever see Gerald mommy here, take care of him? She's has a new boyfriend.
He's pretty demanding.
You're just here to make other people think you're nice while you snoop.
Maybe I not happy-go-lucky Umma, but I here to tell you, "This is right, that is wrong.
" Mmm? And Panty with no bum is very wrong.
Umma! I just want different relationship with you than I have with halmoni.
But maybe I can't change, mean person I am.
- Umma, you're not mean.
- Really? Fine, you're kinda mean.
But you're what, 20% less mean than halmoni? And hopefully I'll be at least 20% less mean than you.
If you lucky.
Look, I don't need you to be my best friend, but I also don't need you to be so Maybe I don't know how to be less But you can try.
Look, first I'm gonna show you how to make bed properly, otherwise, you never gonna get married.
That's 20% more nice than usual.
Ooh, date night Kimchee.
Mama like.
Gwen wants to try a new restaurant.
Said something about a seafood tower.
Maybe it was a cupcake tower? Either way, I'm eating a tower.
- Have fun.
- Peace.
So, there's a shark movie I really wanted to check out.
"Not available in your territory"? It's a shark movie.
I have an idea.
Please sit back, relax.
The show will begin momentarily.
Actually, the truth is it's your turn.
Play "Jungtastic Mix 06.
" Uh This is about you tonight.
You're my guest.
I'm sorry.
I really don't want to hurt your feelings, but this whole boyband thing doesn't really do it for me.
It just isn't sexy.
Well, a lot of 13-year-old girls find it very sexy.
Obviously, I mean, when I was 13 and and for being honest, your fling thing is not sexy either.
- Now you're just lashing out.
- Oh, oh, really? What is sexy about this? A lot more than this.
That's actually really hot.
Yeah, your slip jig is kinda gettin' me there.
Play "Shanndance.
" Play "Jungtastic Mix 06.
" - Hey.
- Hey.
Guess what I found in the dumpster? New hair brush, I hope.
100 bucks.
Oh, yeah, Got some sweet, Sweet trash money Stop.
Give to me my money.
How is this yours? Other day I find $100 bill on sidewalk.
Janet find money in dumpster.
Because I put there.
You throw away money on purpose? Not on purpose.
On accident.
When I give to Gus.
Take it.
Here you go.
- Really? - Mmm.
Thanks, Umma.
That's so generous of you.
See? Abracadabra.
Now I'm the nice one.

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