King of The Nerds (2013) s01e01 Episode Script
Welcome to Nerdvana
1 Nerds have been harassed, teased, and left out.
But in a stunning reversal, the rise of technology has brought with it the rise of the nerd.
Not only is being a nerd suddenly cool, but now, nerds run the world.
- 11 of the brainiest - 3.
1415926535898 - Gamingest - I would be happy living my entire life in front of a computer.
Victory tastes good.
Fantasy and science fiction-lovingest nerds in the world - [Shouts.]
- [Shouts.]
- [Shouts.]
I shall rain fire.
- [Warbling tone.]
- [Sighs.]
Are landing here at Nerd-Vana.
What? This is ridiculous.
- Wow.
- Nerd heaven.
[Exclamations.]
[Sighs.]
It's beautiful.
They will compete against each other.
This is war.
- Using their wits - This is like game theory 101.
Their knowledge of nerd culture I'd like to point out that it was Frank Miller - who wrote dark knight.
- Right.
I'm a little bit bloodthirsty.
And their mastery of gameplay I used my powers of the dark side.
And their ability to impress nerd experts I love you guys.
In the ultimate nerd challenge.
- Bring it.
- Oh! - Revenge - [Shrieks.]
- Deceit - You can cut through the tension with a light saber.
- Cataclysm - He is a terrible person.
- [Laughs.]
- It's fun to be the bad guy.
- At the end, we'll find out - I don't want to go home.
Who will sit atop the throne of games And be crowned king of the nerds.
[Dramatic music.]
[chiptune music.]
He has your taste in neckwear.
I see that.
My name is Moogega.
I graduated from high school at 16, and I got my PhD in mechanical engineering at 24.
I'm a planetary protection engineer at NASA.
Super nerdy.
Wow.
My name's Ivan.
I'm a developer and co-creator of role-playing games.
When I wasn't necessarily happy with who I was, I could be whoever I wanted.
I could be a dragon.
[Roars.]
Hey, world, guess what? I'm a nerd, and that's awesome.
I am awesome.
Welcome to Nerd-Vana.
[Cheers and applause.]
You may recognize us.
I'm Bobby.
- I'm Curtis.
- Back in the day, we made nerds cool.
It's really exciting to meet Curtis and Bobby.
I'm really glad that they're passing the torch on to the next generation of nerds.
You are the most imaginative, inventive, devious, and intelligent nerds And geeks In the world, and you're here to compete against each other for $100,000.
All: Yes! And to be crowned - king of the nerds.
- Yes.
I would use the $100,000 prize for something fun, like investing in a good index fund.
Each week, you'll compete, team against team in a battle royale that we like to call the nerd war.
So for today's nerd war you will divide yourselves into two teams of five nerds each.
However, as you've noticed, there are 11 of you Which means somebody doesn't get picked.
Oh.
- [Sighs.]
- Dodge ball.
This is, like, the biggest nerd nightmare ever.
All of us are reverting back to elementary school horror days of, "oh, my God, oh, my God.
" I'm not gonna get picked.
" What do you say, Curtis, that we pick the team captains? Let's do that, Bobby.
Right.
The first team captain is Genevieve.
That's me.
I'm Genevieve.
I'm a Batman fanatic.
Oh, she's so cute.
People tend to describe me as innocent and demure, and then they get to know me, and then they start describing me with words like "Machiavellian" or "ruthless.
" [Speaking German.]
And the second team captain is - Ivan.
- All right.
When he picked my name, I was like, "that sucks, but that's awesome.
But that sucks.
" Genevieve and Ivan, you will get to make the first picks for this challenge.
Each person who is picked will then pick the next member of their team.
Since none of you have met before, make sure that the captains and your potential teammates know your strength.
Or you could get left out in the cold.
In two hours, you'll pick teams, so use your time to make yourselves indispensable.
Are you ready to do battle? All: Yes! Then let the games begin! [Cheers and applause.]
Yeah! [Gasps.]
[Exclamations.]
- The throne! When you play the game of thrones, you either win or you die.
- I'm here to win.
- Amazing.
I want to be the one that sits on that throne of games.
So it's very important to get chosen on a team.
- Holy crap.
- Oh, my gosh, look, it's us! Oh, that's awesome.
There's so much beautiful nerd culture.
This is truly nerd heaven.
Let's see what's over this way.
I'm Brandon, and I'm a PhD graduate student in Neuroscience.
White board.
Okay, this is awesome.
The house is awesome.
There's a radio shack lab.
Sweet! With a white board.
I need a white board to survive.
Where else are you gonna write stuff? A piece of paper's not good for that.
Well, I mean, it is, but it's not optimal.
There's a project room! Oh, wow.
My name is Jon.
I am extremely focused on science and heavy metal, and I know very little outside of that.
Like, I read textbooks for pleasure.
I love math and physics.
I also love to party and to go to burnings.
He has pink hair.
Yeah, and I have pink hair.
I also love head-banging like this.
[Heavy metal music.]
Oh, crap, I hit the mic.
I'm Hendrik.
My name is Hendrik.
I study the mechanical behavior of rocks, ice, and mixtures thereof.
I grew up on the coast of Maine on a small island.
I would love to be able to speak with birds.
[Cawing.]
A raven.
Can I touch it? If you're not touching it, you're not doing it right.
I'm Joshua.
The one trait that I have that's gonna take me to the end here is really that I'm a Jack of all Trades.
This--this feels right.
This feels right.
Plus, I have a zombie plan.
Any person that has a zombie plan you know is organized and well thought-out.
That's sexy.
You walk into this house, and there's, like, so many cool things to see that you have to, like, kind of snap out of that pretty quickly and just be like, "hey, this first part "of the competition is all about getting to know each other.
I gotta get to work.
" So, if I had to say my expertise, it would be comic book superheroes.
For the nerd war, I am in charge of picking the first person on my team.
I'm looking for people who are really intelligent, but it's an added bonus if they resemble Batman or anybody from the Batman series.
When you put me in the game, I will fight.
A place where we are similar.
I'm Alana, and I love Genevieve.
I want to be on Genevieve's team because she likes Batman and I like Batman.
Eventually, we are going to go to a comic book con dressed up as Dee Dee from Batman beyond.
I'm Joshua.
I host a live geek debate show.
I do feel there is a lot of pressure on everyone to make the right case to the other contestants.
I know how to build a circuit and make it do what I want.
I just finished at M.
I.
T.
on a NASA fellowship.
I have my expertise in physics.
Unfortunately, one person will not be picked because we are an odd number of people, so I've been doing my best to talk about my talents.
So I'm Danielle.
Hi.
If we were rating one to ten on the nerd scale, I am definitely a ten.
But, you know what? Maybe an 11.
I have a lot of knowledge about video games.
I came here to win king of the nerds.
Wouldn't a crown look so good on my pink hair? I'm Virgil.
I'm a PhD student at Caltech.
I am a disruptive technologist.
A disruptive technologist is someone who takes, like, an existing thing and turns it into disarray and upheaval through technology.
I was a computer hacker, and I was pretty good at it.
The New York times called me the "Internet man of mystery.
" It was kind of fun.
Well, not anymore.
[Laughter.]
Indeed.
To be named, you have to be detected.
And to be detected, you can't be that great.
If it involves computers, then of course I'll know it.
I mean, in terms of, like, my credentials on paper, I mean, I'm aware I look very good on paper.
But, I mean, but no one has seen me on paper.
For the last six years, I have been a professional gamer in video games or speed cubing.
I love competition.
My name's Celeste.
I submerged myself into the video game world because I felt comfortable.
Growing up, I wasn't the popular girl.
I was very shy and very insecure, but, once you put me in a competitive atmosphere, I am a complete bitch.
I will play my ass off until I win.
Nobody else in the house is a pro gamer, and being able to solve a Rubik's cube I think is gonna be a big deal.
There's a lot of Rubik's cubes around the house.
She is a really big threat to me right now.
I'm really good at chess, Batman trivia, knowledge of different gods, like Norse and And and, yeah, all those.
I'm not sure where to put Alana off the top of my head.
I totally feel really outclassed by everybody.
Aw.
I really don't think either of the teams is gonna pick me.
My biggest concern is not to get two people who are overlapping - Agree.
- Too much.
There's two neuroscientists.
There's two gamer girls.
There's two comic girls.
After hearing everyone's background, I have a better idea of who I want to be working with.
Is there anybody you don't want on your team? I really like Alana, but I wouldn't want her on my team because of the skills.
- Yeah.
- The rest of the people here-- all I have is Batman and being super prepared.
I'm gonna see myself go home today.
Ow! Shake the Booty! Get the Booty! [Laughter.]
The first nerd war is picking teams Yes, he's got the leg bend.
Which means I have to sell myself to everyone.
This is gonna be really rough, because every nerd is so nerdy.
We're all nerds! I think Ivan has a chance of winning.
I want to team up with Ivan.
I see him as a great leader for this competition.
It's out of my hands once it's in the first pick.
Who would you pick to help either be your axis or your complement? Okay.
Hendrik, Brandon, and moo are all in that same, like, crunchy mathematics, physics, engineering category, which is something each team needs.
I want to pick Celeste, the pro gamer, but I don't have very strong math and science skills.
So I need to pick someone who is really, really strong in those two categories.
Celeste, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah.
I think better strategy is to get on either team at this point.
You're probably one of my top picks.
Who is your ultimate team? If you got the opportunity to pick Hendrik or Moogega, I would be happy with those people.
I definitely want an engineer, but I'm not ruling out Celeste just yet.
Celeste seems like she's a real competitor.
That gaming experience could be really crucial later on.
This is going to be tough.
[Siren blares.]
Calling all nerds! Calling all nerds! This is a nerd alert.
I've got my choice made, and I've got my plan B.
Captains Ivan, Genevieve, front and center, please.
Super stoked, though.
Super stoked.
It is now time for you to pick the first of your teammates.
But, before we do that, we have to figure out a way to tell your two teams apart.
[Gasps.]
[Laughter.]
- I guess I'm orange.
- I guess I'm blue.
That works.
It was kind of an honor.
Who I qualify as the king of all nerds crowned me with orange paint, which is my favorite color, by the way.
Let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who goes first.
I thought it was gonna come to this.
- Go.
- One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Yeah! Congratulations, Genevieve.
- Good job.
- Grab a chalice of paint and make your pick.
It's not the team captains that are choosing the entire team.
Team captains make a first pick, and their first pick make the second pick, and so on and so forth.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for a person who has skills that are not easily replicated among the other team members.
Make your pick.
Choose wisely, Genevieve.
Honestly, I don't have a worry on my mind.
I know that I'm going to get picked.
I am the best nerd here.
I don't really feel in danger about being on a team.
I'm, like, a genius.
[Laughter.]
- Celeste.
- Okay, Celeste.
I am surprised that I was chosen first.
I have a very small skill set.
I play video games, and I can solve Rubik's cubes really fast.
When Genevieve picked Celeste first, I was really shocked.
I'm not sure that Ivan would have picked Celeste at all.
Picking Celeste was obvious.
I mean, have you ever seen a pro gamer play? It's ridiculous.
Watch one.
Like, it's not human.
Captain Ivan, make your pick.
I felt like I needed to pick someone who succeeded where I was weakest at.
[Gasps and laughs.]
[Laughter.]
- Welcome to orange.
I'm totally surprised that I was not picked.
I'm not your first choice.
Are you serious? Okay, Celeste.
It's your turn to make the next pick for the blue team.
Good choice.
Celeste picked me by dumping a mixture of what must have been corn starch and water and food dye over my head, signifying that I was to join the team.
Okay, moo, it's your turn to make the next pick.
[Giggles.]
That feels so good.
I picked Josh because we need to have somebody that's also good at gaming that could go up against Celeste.
Oh, I smell yummy.
You know what, it was cold, and it was sticky, but it was damn worth it.
So, Hendrik, what is your strategy? I'm looking for good company.
[Laughter.]
Choose wisely, Hendrik.
[Growls.]
[Laughter.]
The paint dumping was awesome.
I like things that feel depraved.
[Growls.]
Well, we're down to the final four.
I am getting a little worried.
It's the nightmare of my elementary school self.
We are the unloved, the cast out.
I was annoyed.
I'm a smart guy.
This is obvious to anyone who looks at the facts.
Maybe they're just saving the best for last.
- Nice.
- Yes! I would have thought they would have picked me.
I think people see pink hair and rainbows and think I'm stupid.
I'm a lot of things.
But stupid is not one of them.
So, Josh, it's time for you to make the next pick.
It's not an easy choice.
I have four people.
I'm actually calculating to see who's gonna get picked next, based on who I pick.
Ah! What is dead may never die! And then there were three.
Well.
I thought that it was a little surprising that Brandon was picked before I was.
I mean, I don't know.
It wasn't a crazy decision.
I mean, I considered it, like, a margin of error decision.
All right, John.
There's only three people left.
Aaagh.
Yay.
I always am blue.
Okay.
When Jon chose Virgil, - I was jaw-open shocked.
- Yay.
Stupid.
It should have been me.
Then there were two.
Girls are nerds too, bitches.
I'm probably gonna go home because all I have is my associate's degree.
Ooh.
Brandon, make your pick.
In the words of free Willy [Speaks native American language.]
Right? Um One person is just gonna feel horribly left out.
One of us.
One of us.
You're one of us too.
- Thanks.
- After Brandon poured the paint on my head, the first thing I did was turn around and hugged Alana.
Maybe I'm gonna get myself a little good karma for the future.
This right now is not fun.
I've been losing all of my life.
That's why I'm a [Bleep.]
nerd, okay? Alana, you have not been picked by either team.
I know how that feels.
When I was in the 5th grade through the 12th grade, no one ever picked me for anything-- and it sucked! I mean, there is nothing nerdier than not getting picked.
Which means you have all the power.
- Yes.
- What? A big system.
Alana, you have not been picked by either team.
Not getting picked sucked! I mean, there is nothing nerdier than not getting picked.
Which means You are now safe from banishment.
Yes! And you will get to choose the winner of the nerd war.
I don't have to go home, bitches.
Whomever you pick as the stronger team will be the winner and safe from banishment.
Two members of the losing team will be sent to the nerd-off.
- I was just in shock.
- Ugh, crazy.
Honestly, I'm kind of ticked off about it.
The entire thing was turned on its head.
The nerd war is over.
Alana, who has created the stronger team? Uhh.
Now I have to choose? Dude.
You want to learn how to solder? [Laughter.]
I'm gonna Now I'm nervous about what Alana's going to do.
It seems the worm has turned.
I'm gonna have to say I was terrified, 'cause we didn't pick her.
I'm gonna have to say Blue got a lot of powerhouses, but I think orange, they're a lot better rounded.
It's gonna have to be team orange.
[Cheers and applause.]
Team orange wins.
- Yeah! - Whoo! I really do feel like part of the reason she picked our team was because I turned around and hugged her.
That worked.
[Laughs.]
That worked.
Orange team, you are all safe.
None of your members can be banished.
- Whoo! - Thank you, Alana.
Best decision you made today, and I so appreciate it.
I think Alana was straight-up mistaken.
I independently assessed both of these teams, and I come to an opposite conclusion.
Blue team, orange team, from here on out, you are sworn enemies.
And you will spend the next eight weeks fighting to the death.
Lok'tar ogar! That means "victory or death" in Orcish.
Blue team, two members of your team will be selected for the nerd-off.
You can pick one of those nerds.
Orange team, you have to pick the second nerd.
You have until tomorrow to decide.
Bobby and Curtis drop a bomb on us.
We have to send two people off to the nerd-off, but we only pick one.
Lok'tar ogar! Lok'tar ogar! It's completely different, and it's awful.
And, Alana, you have won yourself safety from banishment and a place on the blue team.
It probably is the worst thing that could happen.
Hi, guys.
I am completely cool with being on the losing team.
Yeah! I was the losiest winner.
Losiest loser? I was the losiest loser.
You all look like a mess.
We have a beautiful fountain down there.
- Yes! - Yeah! Go on down and wash it off.
[Cheers.]
The next step is the nerd-off, but I don't have anything I need to worry about.
That's all blue team.
All I have to do is send a lamb to the slaughter.
You know what, even though we had just had this crappy situation, blue and orange, we were all mixing together, talking and having a good time anyway.
'Cause we really don't want to hate each other.
We just have to.
These are so awesome.
[Chuckles.]
I don't know what to do.
It's kind of sucky.
It's a sucky situation.
I was annoyed that the blue team has to decide which teammate to throw under the bus.
Who do you think should be sent out? I was thinking about you, my friend.
But then I was thinking about putting myself out there for the nerd-off.
I guess I would be seeking a challenge.
Maybe just a cheap thrill really.
I don't know what it will be.
My primary goal here is to challenge myself and to win.
I would be excited if I were the first Victor.
That would be pretty darn cool.
What you thinking? They do have some heavy-hitters.
Hendrik scares the [Bleep.]
out of me.
- Really? - He is super fit.
He is super healthy.
He's brilliant.
I would choose Hendrik to go into the nerd-off.
He is not gonna have personality conflicts with anybody.
Nobody is gonna find him, like, aggressive or threatening.
He's not gonna get emotional about anything.
I think he's the smartest person on their team.
I think that we should pick Celeste.
I'm an old-school gamer, and so, if I was up against Celeste in a video game challenge and it turned out to be something like halo, I'm toast.
I think they're gonna pick somebody entirely different just to throw us off.
That would be very strange.
That would be.
The other team is likely going to choose Celeste because she's our only gamer, and, if we lose her, we are at a strategic disadvantage at this point.
I mean, I think they're either gonna pick Hendrik or Celeste, is what I think.
People see me as a threat in this house.
I am very confident I am going to get chosen for the nerd-off.
I think a good choice would either be Celeste or somebody on their team who has engineering.
I think Hendrik is the biggest threat on their team.
Hendrik and who else? Like, science and-- - Jon is another.
- Oh, Jon.
Okay, personally, I would consider mathematicians kind of, like, the top of academia.
Like, I would be more afraid of him.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Yo, yo.
- We're talking about strategy.
We were trying to figure out what to do.
You're gonna vote for yourself? Seriously? I would never put myself up for a nerd-off, 'cause I'm not stupid.
You don't know what the nerd-off is.
It might be something I'm terrible at.
I want to go to at least one nerd-off Okay, then.
And walk away winning.
- Victorious.
- Yeah.
That's fair enough.
Hendrik, you want to go to the nerd-off, I think you should go.
- To the first night.
- First night.
Sleeping together.
Captain's log: Strange location.
Adapting well.
"Adapting well.
" [Laughs.]
Good company.
Okay with this.
I feel more or less comfortable with our decision on the blue side.
However, I don't know how the orange team has been thinking.
I can only hope for the best.
Good morning, Nerd-Vana.
I love the smell of Nerd-Vana in the morning.
This morning, someone has to go into the nerd-off.
Do you still feel secure in our decision? - Yeah.
- The blue team is in a rough situation.
They're going to lose somebody.
That sucks for them.
I feel great.
This part's gonna be hard.
[Siren blares.]
All nerds to the throne room! Both: Good morning, nerds.
All: Morning.
Today, two nerds go head to head in our first nerd-off.
The winner stays to compete for the crown and the right to sit atop the throne of games! [Laughter.]
[Majestic music.]
The loser goes home immediately.
Both teams have voted, and we've tallied the votes here.
Blue team, by unanimous consent Hendrik.
You will be going to the nerd-off.
I'm surprised that they picked Hendrik because I consider him one of the strongest assets on the blue team.
Hendrik, do you actually agree with this? Hey, the first one may very well be the easiest.
- Ah.
- Orange team, we've tallied your votes here.
I am going to get chosen.
The fact that everyone knows me as the pro gamer in the house-- instant target.
By unanimous consent Jon.
You're going to the nerd-off.
Really? I'm like, "you're [Bleep.]
joking.
" Can you ask more about why they chose Jon, please? Both: All right.
[Laughter.]
- Continue.
- Orange team, why did you choose Jon? We were making a decision on who the strongest competitor was, so it's only a compliment, a kudos to their intelligence, that we're choosing them.
How do you feel about that, Jon? I wasn't expecting it, but I'm ready to do some fun, dirty competition, and I know my man Hendrik here will put up a good fight.
All right, Jon and Hendrik, step forward please.
Bend the knee.
Today you will be competing in the world's smartest game-- chess.
You may select one trusted advisor to help you with the game.
Now you may rise.
You have three hours.
Good luck.
And may the best nerd win.
You may return to Nerd-Vana.
Awesome.
The orange team's strategy is to try to get me out of the game, which, you know, I can't blame them.
If I were on their team and somehow still also on the blue team, then I'd be trying to do the same thing.
Chess with those two is going to be brutal.
- That's gonna be amazing.
- Yeah.
It's going to be brutal.
If Hendrik and Jon were racehorses, okay, I would say the odds are stacked in Hendricks favor, like, 85/15.
Even if he is meh at chess, his meh, I feel, is other people's 110%.
In the nerd-off are the two people I'm most afraid of in this competition, facing off together.
All right, guys, I was on the chess team in high school, so either one of you can choose me as your advisor.
If I were to classify myself as a chess player, it would have to be on the level of novice.
So it seems like the only chess person in the house - is Alana.
- Oh.
How's that for picking me last? - Then I choose you, sure.
- Okay.
Well, I guess I'm a valuable player since I know how to play chess and nobody else does.
I want to be in this nerd-off because I can do this one.
So you've got Hendrik going with Alana for his advisor.
Wait.
What? I know that she's got the chess background, but yeek.
Does Jon have any experience with chess? Yeah, he said middle school.
- Middle school? - Yeah.
- It's been a while.
- Yeah.
What concerns me about Jon is he is a smoker.
How smart is somebody if they choose to smoke and endanger their health? Is this pretty typical? In general, you want to bring your knights out first, because they're really defensive.
My mother's mother had a photographic memory when she was young.
I am able to memorize pages and pages of sheet music, mathematical equations.
I can memorize quite a bit of information at once, and it tends to stick up there pretty well.
That would be the thing to do.
'Cause then it's check.
I'm preparing for the match by playing game after game against a computer.
I feel like there's some base amount of knowledge with chess that's like riding a bike, but I think I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be.
I'm done for.
I told the group I would be fine going to the nerd-off.
Dude, the pieces look sweet.
I'm not exactly a star chess player, so that was a mistake.
Welcome to the nerd-off, the ancient game of chess.
Updated with a little extra action.
- Wow.
- Oh, snap.
[Laughter.]
Yes.
Oh, my goodness.
This actually makes chess a fun thing to watch.
Stripper cat girl who's of a harajuku flavor or something.
This rules.
Wow, she has pinker hair than you.
For those unacquainted, chess is an age-old game of strategy which simulates war.
The game is won when one player checkmates the opponent's king.
Hendrik, have you chosen your advisor? Alana.
Please take your places.
[Singing "chess" to tune of 99 bottles of beer.]
You may don the crown.
[Singsong.]
We are going to play some chess, then somebody has to leave.
- Jon.
- I've chosen Virgil.
You and Virgil may take your place on the podium.
I chose Virgil as my advisor.
I don't really plan on using him for advice during the game.
Thanks for trusting me in this.
- I appreciate it.
- Hendrik.
The board is yours.
Knight to f3.
[Laughter.]
I love her.
Do we get the man? - Mm-hmm.
- Maybe.
I always like opening with knights, or I like opening with pawns and then popping out my bishops early, but that's not what he did.
Pawn to d5.
I thought for certain that was gonna be the Portuguese opening, but she doesn't look Portuguese to me.
As these first moves are happening, the game seems to be starting in a pretty standard manner.
Pawn to d4.
- Knight to c6.
- Knight to c3.
Pawn to f5.
I think we should get her for all our chess games, Curtis.
King's pawn to e3.
Alana suggested using a sort of defensive strategy.
We have a plan.
Pawn to f4.
I think it's time to spill some blood.
Here we go.
Somebody's gonna get a pawn.
- Go ahead and take it.
- E3 pawn takes pawn f4.
[Gasps.]
Hendrik captured the first piece, but that was intentional.
I needed to get the action started.
[Exclamations.]
- First blood! - Wow.
That was fantastic.
Smashing the pieces? [Bleep.]
Awesome.
I didn't like the look of that pawn from the moment the game started.
I'm glad it's dead.
This is gonna be the bloodiest chess match you've ever seen.
Bishop captures pawn at f4.
Blood for blood.
An eye for an eye.
That's completely okay, because then you can get it with a bishop.
Our first take was the pawn, and then they took our pawn.
But then we can take their bishop, and it'll be fine.
Oh, snap.
Die! Got interesting.
Bishop captures f4.
And another one.
- Whoa! - There goes a piece.
There goes a piece.
There goes a piece.
We're both losing pieces.
[Cheers.]
Pawn to e6.
He must be up to something here.
Okay, now they're attacking your knight.
So I'm gonna bring it back.
Yeah, bring it back - next to the other knight.
- C3? They're both so smart and so talented that I really don't know who's gonna win.
But I really do think that Hendrik has the advantage because he has Alana.
Queen's knight to c3.
He's chosen retreat.
Ah, good.
Now he's moving back.
Oh, excellent.
Knight to g4.
Looks like Jon's pushing his pieces out, getting a nice pawn staggering.
If Jon is actually planning this, Hendrik is playing into Jon's hands.
Now bring the rook out? Well, it's not in danger there and we can get it closer to their king.
Think people underestimate Alana.
She's playing the game brilliantly.
And Alana's really driven to win at this point.
You can move the pawn up and attack his knight.
He's being advised yet again by Alana.
I saw the queen come in, and, if we build up our defenses, they left themselves open to attack.
Pawn to h3.
I think that was a mistake.
Hendrik just made a huge mistake by moving his pawn to h3.
Queen captures pawn at h3.
Now my queen is safe to move in without being captured.
It can be risky to pull your queen out, but with great risk comes great reward.
Knight to g5.
I'm thinking about all the pawns in the front, and I'm thinking about where our knights are, and it's just all of that.
King's knight to g5.
Why are you moving your knight right now? It's a trap! Can't you see it's a trap?! The Hendrik versus Jon face-off in chess is the most epic nerd-off of all of the nerds that they could choose on the team.
Hendrik.
The board is yours.
King's knight to g5.
King's knight to g5.
That move was a mistake.
- [Chuckles.]
- Uh-oh.
Now there's nothing Hendrik can do.
Queen to h2.
Queen to h2 And I believe that is checkmate.
[Bleep.]
.
- That is checkmate.
- That's mate.
Bravo, Jon.
Well done.
You were a worthy opponent, Hendrik.
[Shouting.]
Jon, you have won this nerd-off.
You live to fight another day.
Congratulations.
[Applause.]
I believe winning the nerd-off definitely makes me seem like a more formidable opponent than I was, but I don't necessarily think that's a good thing.
Now I have painted a target on my forehead, and people are going to be gunning to get rid of me now.
Alana, you may also rejoin your team.
We shall play again some time.
I don't think I let him down, 'cause we lost a game, but we put up a really good fight.
But I think that Hendrik learned a lot about chess today.
Hendrik, I'm sorry.
You've lost this nerd-off.
I thought Alana would be a fairly capable advisor.
Whoops.
Do I get my head cracked open with the mace? Hendrik, while you will not be crowned king of the nerds, we know that you will take your exceptional mind and do exceptional things back in the real world.
You may go and say good-bye to your teammates.
We definitely saw Hendrik as a threat that needed to go.
It's just a huge blow to see a housemate leave.
- To Hendrik! - Hendrik! Yes! [Cheers.]
- Bye, everyone.
All: Bye, Hendrik.
Now that Hendrik is gone, it definitely feels like there's a hole in the group, but we're gonna have to get used to this.
It's just gonna be a fact of life in Nerd-Vana.
As for the rest of you nerds, tomorrow, you will face an even greater challenge.
- Good night, nerds.
- All right.
- Good night.
- Thank you, guys.
You and I are due for a beer.
- Indeed.
- If Hendrik had not moved that pawn, he quite possibly would not have been sent home.
That was his fatal flaw.
And that honestly put the scare on me that such a small mistake could mean the difference between staying and going.
It's not really known whether the universe has a finite or infinite size.
If the universe is infinite, that means that other versions of ourselves are out there in some other world.
The implications of that are startling.
You and I and everyone else on this planet has already won king of the nerds.
He was such a good nerd.
Mm-hmm.
Ohho! That had to hurt.
But in a stunning reversal, the rise of technology has brought with it the rise of the nerd.
Not only is being a nerd suddenly cool, but now, nerds run the world.
- 11 of the brainiest - 3.
1415926535898 - Gamingest - I would be happy living my entire life in front of a computer.
Victory tastes good.
Fantasy and science fiction-lovingest nerds in the world - [Shouts.]
- [Shouts.]
- [Shouts.]
I shall rain fire.
- [Warbling tone.]
- [Sighs.]
Are landing here at Nerd-Vana.
What? This is ridiculous.
- Wow.
- Nerd heaven.
[Exclamations.]
[Sighs.]
It's beautiful.
They will compete against each other.
This is war.
- Using their wits - This is like game theory 101.
Their knowledge of nerd culture I'd like to point out that it was Frank Miller - who wrote dark knight.
- Right.
I'm a little bit bloodthirsty.
And their mastery of gameplay I used my powers of the dark side.
And their ability to impress nerd experts I love you guys.
In the ultimate nerd challenge.
- Bring it.
- Oh! - Revenge - [Shrieks.]
- Deceit - You can cut through the tension with a light saber.
- Cataclysm - He is a terrible person.
- [Laughs.]
- It's fun to be the bad guy.
- At the end, we'll find out - I don't want to go home.
Who will sit atop the throne of games And be crowned king of the nerds.
[Dramatic music.]
[chiptune music.]
He has your taste in neckwear.
I see that.
My name is Moogega.
I graduated from high school at 16, and I got my PhD in mechanical engineering at 24.
I'm a planetary protection engineer at NASA.
Super nerdy.
Wow.
My name's Ivan.
I'm a developer and co-creator of role-playing games.
When I wasn't necessarily happy with who I was, I could be whoever I wanted.
I could be a dragon.
[Roars.]
Hey, world, guess what? I'm a nerd, and that's awesome.
I am awesome.
Welcome to Nerd-Vana.
[Cheers and applause.]
You may recognize us.
I'm Bobby.
- I'm Curtis.
- Back in the day, we made nerds cool.
It's really exciting to meet Curtis and Bobby.
I'm really glad that they're passing the torch on to the next generation of nerds.
You are the most imaginative, inventive, devious, and intelligent nerds And geeks In the world, and you're here to compete against each other for $100,000.
All: Yes! And to be crowned - king of the nerds.
- Yes.
I would use the $100,000 prize for something fun, like investing in a good index fund.
Each week, you'll compete, team against team in a battle royale that we like to call the nerd war.
So for today's nerd war you will divide yourselves into two teams of five nerds each.
However, as you've noticed, there are 11 of you Which means somebody doesn't get picked.
Oh.
- [Sighs.]
- Dodge ball.
This is, like, the biggest nerd nightmare ever.
All of us are reverting back to elementary school horror days of, "oh, my God, oh, my God.
" I'm not gonna get picked.
" What do you say, Curtis, that we pick the team captains? Let's do that, Bobby.
Right.
The first team captain is Genevieve.
That's me.
I'm Genevieve.
I'm a Batman fanatic.
Oh, she's so cute.
People tend to describe me as innocent and demure, and then they get to know me, and then they start describing me with words like "Machiavellian" or "ruthless.
" [Speaking German.]
And the second team captain is - Ivan.
- All right.
When he picked my name, I was like, "that sucks, but that's awesome.
But that sucks.
" Genevieve and Ivan, you will get to make the first picks for this challenge.
Each person who is picked will then pick the next member of their team.
Since none of you have met before, make sure that the captains and your potential teammates know your strength.
Or you could get left out in the cold.
In two hours, you'll pick teams, so use your time to make yourselves indispensable.
Are you ready to do battle? All: Yes! Then let the games begin! [Cheers and applause.]
Yeah! [Gasps.]
[Exclamations.]
- The throne! When you play the game of thrones, you either win or you die.
- I'm here to win.
- Amazing.
I want to be the one that sits on that throne of games.
So it's very important to get chosen on a team.
- Holy crap.
- Oh, my gosh, look, it's us! Oh, that's awesome.
There's so much beautiful nerd culture.
This is truly nerd heaven.
Let's see what's over this way.
I'm Brandon, and I'm a PhD graduate student in Neuroscience.
White board.
Okay, this is awesome.
The house is awesome.
There's a radio shack lab.
Sweet! With a white board.
I need a white board to survive.
Where else are you gonna write stuff? A piece of paper's not good for that.
Well, I mean, it is, but it's not optimal.
There's a project room! Oh, wow.
My name is Jon.
I am extremely focused on science and heavy metal, and I know very little outside of that.
Like, I read textbooks for pleasure.
I love math and physics.
I also love to party and to go to burnings.
He has pink hair.
Yeah, and I have pink hair.
I also love head-banging like this.
[Heavy metal music.]
Oh, crap, I hit the mic.
I'm Hendrik.
My name is Hendrik.
I study the mechanical behavior of rocks, ice, and mixtures thereof.
I grew up on the coast of Maine on a small island.
I would love to be able to speak with birds.
[Cawing.]
A raven.
Can I touch it? If you're not touching it, you're not doing it right.
I'm Joshua.
The one trait that I have that's gonna take me to the end here is really that I'm a Jack of all Trades.
This--this feels right.
This feels right.
Plus, I have a zombie plan.
Any person that has a zombie plan you know is organized and well thought-out.
That's sexy.
You walk into this house, and there's, like, so many cool things to see that you have to, like, kind of snap out of that pretty quickly and just be like, "hey, this first part "of the competition is all about getting to know each other.
I gotta get to work.
" So, if I had to say my expertise, it would be comic book superheroes.
For the nerd war, I am in charge of picking the first person on my team.
I'm looking for people who are really intelligent, but it's an added bonus if they resemble Batman or anybody from the Batman series.
When you put me in the game, I will fight.
A place where we are similar.
I'm Alana, and I love Genevieve.
I want to be on Genevieve's team because she likes Batman and I like Batman.
Eventually, we are going to go to a comic book con dressed up as Dee Dee from Batman beyond.
I'm Joshua.
I host a live geek debate show.
I do feel there is a lot of pressure on everyone to make the right case to the other contestants.
I know how to build a circuit and make it do what I want.
I just finished at M.
I.
T.
on a NASA fellowship.
I have my expertise in physics.
Unfortunately, one person will not be picked because we are an odd number of people, so I've been doing my best to talk about my talents.
So I'm Danielle.
Hi.
If we were rating one to ten on the nerd scale, I am definitely a ten.
But, you know what? Maybe an 11.
I have a lot of knowledge about video games.
I came here to win king of the nerds.
Wouldn't a crown look so good on my pink hair? I'm Virgil.
I'm a PhD student at Caltech.
I am a disruptive technologist.
A disruptive technologist is someone who takes, like, an existing thing and turns it into disarray and upheaval through technology.
I was a computer hacker, and I was pretty good at it.
The New York times called me the "Internet man of mystery.
" It was kind of fun.
Well, not anymore.
[Laughter.]
Indeed.
To be named, you have to be detected.
And to be detected, you can't be that great.
If it involves computers, then of course I'll know it.
I mean, in terms of, like, my credentials on paper, I mean, I'm aware I look very good on paper.
But, I mean, but no one has seen me on paper.
For the last six years, I have been a professional gamer in video games or speed cubing.
I love competition.
My name's Celeste.
I submerged myself into the video game world because I felt comfortable.
Growing up, I wasn't the popular girl.
I was very shy and very insecure, but, once you put me in a competitive atmosphere, I am a complete bitch.
I will play my ass off until I win.
Nobody else in the house is a pro gamer, and being able to solve a Rubik's cube I think is gonna be a big deal.
There's a lot of Rubik's cubes around the house.
She is a really big threat to me right now.
I'm really good at chess, Batman trivia, knowledge of different gods, like Norse and And and, yeah, all those.
I'm not sure where to put Alana off the top of my head.
I totally feel really outclassed by everybody.
Aw.
I really don't think either of the teams is gonna pick me.
My biggest concern is not to get two people who are overlapping - Agree.
- Too much.
There's two neuroscientists.
There's two gamer girls.
There's two comic girls.
After hearing everyone's background, I have a better idea of who I want to be working with.
Is there anybody you don't want on your team? I really like Alana, but I wouldn't want her on my team because of the skills.
- Yeah.
- The rest of the people here-- all I have is Batman and being super prepared.
I'm gonna see myself go home today.
Ow! Shake the Booty! Get the Booty! [Laughter.]
The first nerd war is picking teams Yes, he's got the leg bend.
Which means I have to sell myself to everyone.
This is gonna be really rough, because every nerd is so nerdy.
We're all nerds! I think Ivan has a chance of winning.
I want to team up with Ivan.
I see him as a great leader for this competition.
It's out of my hands once it's in the first pick.
Who would you pick to help either be your axis or your complement? Okay.
Hendrik, Brandon, and moo are all in that same, like, crunchy mathematics, physics, engineering category, which is something each team needs.
I want to pick Celeste, the pro gamer, but I don't have very strong math and science skills.
So I need to pick someone who is really, really strong in those two categories.
Celeste, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah.
I think better strategy is to get on either team at this point.
You're probably one of my top picks.
Who is your ultimate team? If you got the opportunity to pick Hendrik or Moogega, I would be happy with those people.
I definitely want an engineer, but I'm not ruling out Celeste just yet.
Celeste seems like she's a real competitor.
That gaming experience could be really crucial later on.
This is going to be tough.
[Siren blares.]
Calling all nerds! Calling all nerds! This is a nerd alert.
I've got my choice made, and I've got my plan B.
Captains Ivan, Genevieve, front and center, please.
Super stoked, though.
Super stoked.
It is now time for you to pick the first of your teammates.
But, before we do that, we have to figure out a way to tell your two teams apart.
[Gasps.]
[Laughter.]
- I guess I'm orange.
- I guess I'm blue.
That works.
It was kind of an honor.
Who I qualify as the king of all nerds crowned me with orange paint, which is my favorite color, by the way.
Let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who goes first.
I thought it was gonna come to this.
- Go.
- One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Yeah! Congratulations, Genevieve.
- Good job.
- Grab a chalice of paint and make your pick.
It's not the team captains that are choosing the entire team.
Team captains make a first pick, and their first pick make the second pick, and so on and so forth.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for a person who has skills that are not easily replicated among the other team members.
Make your pick.
Choose wisely, Genevieve.
Honestly, I don't have a worry on my mind.
I know that I'm going to get picked.
I am the best nerd here.
I don't really feel in danger about being on a team.
I'm, like, a genius.
[Laughter.]
- Celeste.
- Okay, Celeste.
I am surprised that I was chosen first.
I have a very small skill set.
I play video games, and I can solve Rubik's cubes really fast.
When Genevieve picked Celeste first, I was really shocked.
I'm not sure that Ivan would have picked Celeste at all.
Picking Celeste was obvious.
I mean, have you ever seen a pro gamer play? It's ridiculous.
Watch one.
Like, it's not human.
Captain Ivan, make your pick.
I felt like I needed to pick someone who succeeded where I was weakest at.
[Gasps and laughs.]
[Laughter.]
- Welcome to orange.
I'm totally surprised that I was not picked.
I'm not your first choice.
Are you serious? Okay, Celeste.
It's your turn to make the next pick for the blue team.
Good choice.
Celeste picked me by dumping a mixture of what must have been corn starch and water and food dye over my head, signifying that I was to join the team.
Okay, moo, it's your turn to make the next pick.
[Giggles.]
That feels so good.
I picked Josh because we need to have somebody that's also good at gaming that could go up against Celeste.
Oh, I smell yummy.
You know what, it was cold, and it was sticky, but it was damn worth it.
So, Hendrik, what is your strategy? I'm looking for good company.
[Laughter.]
Choose wisely, Hendrik.
[Growls.]
[Laughter.]
The paint dumping was awesome.
I like things that feel depraved.
[Growls.]
Well, we're down to the final four.
I am getting a little worried.
It's the nightmare of my elementary school self.
We are the unloved, the cast out.
I was annoyed.
I'm a smart guy.
This is obvious to anyone who looks at the facts.
Maybe they're just saving the best for last.
- Nice.
- Yes! I would have thought they would have picked me.
I think people see pink hair and rainbows and think I'm stupid.
I'm a lot of things.
But stupid is not one of them.
So, Josh, it's time for you to make the next pick.
It's not an easy choice.
I have four people.
I'm actually calculating to see who's gonna get picked next, based on who I pick.
Ah! What is dead may never die! And then there were three.
Well.
I thought that it was a little surprising that Brandon was picked before I was.
I mean, I don't know.
It wasn't a crazy decision.
I mean, I considered it, like, a margin of error decision.
All right, John.
There's only three people left.
Aaagh.
Yay.
I always am blue.
Okay.
When Jon chose Virgil, - I was jaw-open shocked.
- Yay.
Stupid.
It should have been me.
Then there were two.
Girls are nerds too, bitches.
I'm probably gonna go home because all I have is my associate's degree.
Ooh.
Brandon, make your pick.
In the words of free Willy [Speaks native American language.]
Right? Um One person is just gonna feel horribly left out.
One of us.
One of us.
You're one of us too.
- Thanks.
- After Brandon poured the paint on my head, the first thing I did was turn around and hugged Alana.
Maybe I'm gonna get myself a little good karma for the future.
This right now is not fun.
I've been losing all of my life.
That's why I'm a [Bleep.]
nerd, okay? Alana, you have not been picked by either team.
I know how that feels.
When I was in the 5th grade through the 12th grade, no one ever picked me for anything-- and it sucked! I mean, there is nothing nerdier than not getting picked.
Which means you have all the power.
- Yes.
- What? A big system.
Alana, you have not been picked by either team.
Not getting picked sucked! I mean, there is nothing nerdier than not getting picked.
Which means You are now safe from banishment.
Yes! And you will get to choose the winner of the nerd war.
I don't have to go home, bitches.
Whomever you pick as the stronger team will be the winner and safe from banishment.
Two members of the losing team will be sent to the nerd-off.
- I was just in shock.
- Ugh, crazy.
Honestly, I'm kind of ticked off about it.
The entire thing was turned on its head.
The nerd war is over.
Alana, who has created the stronger team? Uhh.
Now I have to choose? Dude.
You want to learn how to solder? [Laughter.]
I'm gonna Now I'm nervous about what Alana's going to do.
It seems the worm has turned.
I'm gonna have to say I was terrified, 'cause we didn't pick her.
I'm gonna have to say Blue got a lot of powerhouses, but I think orange, they're a lot better rounded.
It's gonna have to be team orange.
[Cheers and applause.]
Team orange wins.
- Yeah! - Whoo! I really do feel like part of the reason she picked our team was because I turned around and hugged her.
That worked.
[Laughs.]
That worked.
Orange team, you are all safe.
None of your members can be banished.
- Whoo! - Thank you, Alana.
Best decision you made today, and I so appreciate it.
I think Alana was straight-up mistaken.
I independently assessed both of these teams, and I come to an opposite conclusion.
Blue team, orange team, from here on out, you are sworn enemies.
And you will spend the next eight weeks fighting to the death.
Lok'tar ogar! That means "victory or death" in Orcish.
Blue team, two members of your team will be selected for the nerd-off.
You can pick one of those nerds.
Orange team, you have to pick the second nerd.
You have until tomorrow to decide.
Bobby and Curtis drop a bomb on us.
We have to send two people off to the nerd-off, but we only pick one.
Lok'tar ogar! Lok'tar ogar! It's completely different, and it's awful.
And, Alana, you have won yourself safety from banishment and a place on the blue team.
It probably is the worst thing that could happen.
Hi, guys.
I am completely cool with being on the losing team.
Yeah! I was the losiest winner.
Losiest loser? I was the losiest loser.
You all look like a mess.
We have a beautiful fountain down there.
- Yes! - Yeah! Go on down and wash it off.
[Cheers.]
The next step is the nerd-off, but I don't have anything I need to worry about.
That's all blue team.
All I have to do is send a lamb to the slaughter.
You know what, even though we had just had this crappy situation, blue and orange, we were all mixing together, talking and having a good time anyway.
'Cause we really don't want to hate each other.
We just have to.
These are so awesome.
[Chuckles.]
I don't know what to do.
It's kind of sucky.
It's a sucky situation.
I was annoyed that the blue team has to decide which teammate to throw under the bus.
Who do you think should be sent out? I was thinking about you, my friend.
But then I was thinking about putting myself out there for the nerd-off.
I guess I would be seeking a challenge.
Maybe just a cheap thrill really.
I don't know what it will be.
My primary goal here is to challenge myself and to win.
I would be excited if I were the first Victor.
That would be pretty darn cool.
What you thinking? They do have some heavy-hitters.
Hendrik scares the [Bleep.]
out of me.
- Really? - He is super fit.
He is super healthy.
He's brilliant.
I would choose Hendrik to go into the nerd-off.
He is not gonna have personality conflicts with anybody.
Nobody is gonna find him, like, aggressive or threatening.
He's not gonna get emotional about anything.
I think he's the smartest person on their team.
I think that we should pick Celeste.
I'm an old-school gamer, and so, if I was up against Celeste in a video game challenge and it turned out to be something like halo, I'm toast.
I think they're gonna pick somebody entirely different just to throw us off.
That would be very strange.
That would be.
The other team is likely going to choose Celeste because she's our only gamer, and, if we lose her, we are at a strategic disadvantage at this point.
I mean, I think they're either gonna pick Hendrik or Celeste, is what I think.
People see me as a threat in this house.
I am very confident I am going to get chosen for the nerd-off.
I think a good choice would either be Celeste or somebody on their team who has engineering.
I think Hendrik is the biggest threat on their team.
Hendrik and who else? Like, science and-- - Jon is another.
- Oh, Jon.
Okay, personally, I would consider mathematicians kind of, like, the top of academia.
Like, I would be more afraid of him.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Yo, yo.
- We're talking about strategy.
We were trying to figure out what to do.
You're gonna vote for yourself? Seriously? I would never put myself up for a nerd-off, 'cause I'm not stupid.
You don't know what the nerd-off is.
It might be something I'm terrible at.
I want to go to at least one nerd-off Okay, then.
And walk away winning.
- Victorious.
- Yeah.
That's fair enough.
Hendrik, you want to go to the nerd-off, I think you should go.
- To the first night.
- First night.
Sleeping together.
Captain's log: Strange location.
Adapting well.
"Adapting well.
" [Laughs.]
Good company.
Okay with this.
I feel more or less comfortable with our decision on the blue side.
However, I don't know how the orange team has been thinking.
I can only hope for the best.
Good morning, Nerd-Vana.
I love the smell of Nerd-Vana in the morning.
This morning, someone has to go into the nerd-off.
Do you still feel secure in our decision? - Yeah.
- The blue team is in a rough situation.
They're going to lose somebody.
That sucks for them.
I feel great.
This part's gonna be hard.
[Siren blares.]
All nerds to the throne room! Both: Good morning, nerds.
All: Morning.
Today, two nerds go head to head in our first nerd-off.
The winner stays to compete for the crown and the right to sit atop the throne of games! [Laughter.]
[Majestic music.]
The loser goes home immediately.
Both teams have voted, and we've tallied the votes here.
Blue team, by unanimous consent Hendrik.
You will be going to the nerd-off.
I'm surprised that they picked Hendrik because I consider him one of the strongest assets on the blue team.
Hendrik, do you actually agree with this? Hey, the first one may very well be the easiest.
- Ah.
- Orange team, we've tallied your votes here.
I am going to get chosen.
The fact that everyone knows me as the pro gamer in the house-- instant target.
By unanimous consent Jon.
You're going to the nerd-off.
Really? I'm like, "you're [Bleep.]
joking.
" Can you ask more about why they chose Jon, please? Both: All right.
[Laughter.]
- Continue.
- Orange team, why did you choose Jon? We were making a decision on who the strongest competitor was, so it's only a compliment, a kudos to their intelligence, that we're choosing them.
How do you feel about that, Jon? I wasn't expecting it, but I'm ready to do some fun, dirty competition, and I know my man Hendrik here will put up a good fight.
All right, Jon and Hendrik, step forward please.
Bend the knee.
Today you will be competing in the world's smartest game-- chess.
You may select one trusted advisor to help you with the game.
Now you may rise.
You have three hours.
Good luck.
And may the best nerd win.
You may return to Nerd-Vana.
Awesome.
The orange team's strategy is to try to get me out of the game, which, you know, I can't blame them.
If I were on their team and somehow still also on the blue team, then I'd be trying to do the same thing.
Chess with those two is going to be brutal.
- That's gonna be amazing.
- Yeah.
It's going to be brutal.
If Hendrik and Jon were racehorses, okay, I would say the odds are stacked in Hendricks favor, like, 85/15.
Even if he is meh at chess, his meh, I feel, is other people's 110%.
In the nerd-off are the two people I'm most afraid of in this competition, facing off together.
All right, guys, I was on the chess team in high school, so either one of you can choose me as your advisor.
If I were to classify myself as a chess player, it would have to be on the level of novice.
So it seems like the only chess person in the house - is Alana.
- Oh.
How's that for picking me last? - Then I choose you, sure.
- Okay.
Well, I guess I'm a valuable player since I know how to play chess and nobody else does.
I want to be in this nerd-off because I can do this one.
So you've got Hendrik going with Alana for his advisor.
Wait.
What? I know that she's got the chess background, but yeek.
Does Jon have any experience with chess? Yeah, he said middle school.
- Middle school? - Yeah.
- It's been a while.
- Yeah.
What concerns me about Jon is he is a smoker.
How smart is somebody if they choose to smoke and endanger their health? Is this pretty typical? In general, you want to bring your knights out first, because they're really defensive.
My mother's mother had a photographic memory when she was young.
I am able to memorize pages and pages of sheet music, mathematical equations.
I can memorize quite a bit of information at once, and it tends to stick up there pretty well.
That would be the thing to do.
'Cause then it's check.
I'm preparing for the match by playing game after game against a computer.
I feel like there's some base amount of knowledge with chess that's like riding a bike, but I think I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be.
I'm done for.
I told the group I would be fine going to the nerd-off.
Dude, the pieces look sweet.
I'm not exactly a star chess player, so that was a mistake.
Welcome to the nerd-off, the ancient game of chess.
Updated with a little extra action.
- Wow.
- Oh, snap.
[Laughter.]
Yes.
Oh, my goodness.
This actually makes chess a fun thing to watch.
Stripper cat girl who's of a harajuku flavor or something.
This rules.
Wow, she has pinker hair than you.
For those unacquainted, chess is an age-old game of strategy which simulates war.
The game is won when one player checkmates the opponent's king.
Hendrik, have you chosen your advisor? Alana.
Please take your places.
[Singing "chess" to tune of 99 bottles of beer.]
You may don the crown.
[Singsong.]
We are going to play some chess, then somebody has to leave.
- Jon.
- I've chosen Virgil.
You and Virgil may take your place on the podium.
I chose Virgil as my advisor.
I don't really plan on using him for advice during the game.
Thanks for trusting me in this.
- I appreciate it.
- Hendrik.
The board is yours.
Knight to f3.
[Laughter.]
I love her.
Do we get the man? - Mm-hmm.
- Maybe.
I always like opening with knights, or I like opening with pawns and then popping out my bishops early, but that's not what he did.
Pawn to d5.
I thought for certain that was gonna be the Portuguese opening, but she doesn't look Portuguese to me.
As these first moves are happening, the game seems to be starting in a pretty standard manner.
Pawn to d4.
- Knight to c6.
- Knight to c3.
Pawn to f5.
I think we should get her for all our chess games, Curtis.
King's pawn to e3.
Alana suggested using a sort of defensive strategy.
We have a plan.
Pawn to f4.
I think it's time to spill some blood.
Here we go.
Somebody's gonna get a pawn.
- Go ahead and take it.
- E3 pawn takes pawn f4.
[Gasps.]
Hendrik captured the first piece, but that was intentional.
I needed to get the action started.
[Exclamations.]
- First blood! - Wow.
That was fantastic.
Smashing the pieces? [Bleep.]
Awesome.
I didn't like the look of that pawn from the moment the game started.
I'm glad it's dead.
This is gonna be the bloodiest chess match you've ever seen.
Bishop captures pawn at f4.
Blood for blood.
An eye for an eye.
That's completely okay, because then you can get it with a bishop.
Our first take was the pawn, and then they took our pawn.
But then we can take their bishop, and it'll be fine.
Oh, snap.
Die! Got interesting.
Bishop captures f4.
And another one.
- Whoa! - There goes a piece.
There goes a piece.
There goes a piece.
We're both losing pieces.
[Cheers.]
Pawn to e6.
He must be up to something here.
Okay, now they're attacking your knight.
So I'm gonna bring it back.
Yeah, bring it back - next to the other knight.
- C3? They're both so smart and so talented that I really don't know who's gonna win.
But I really do think that Hendrik has the advantage because he has Alana.
Queen's knight to c3.
He's chosen retreat.
Ah, good.
Now he's moving back.
Oh, excellent.
Knight to g4.
Looks like Jon's pushing his pieces out, getting a nice pawn staggering.
If Jon is actually planning this, Hendrik is playing into Jon's hands.
Now bring the rook out? Well, it's not in danger there and we can get it closer to their king.
Think people underestimate Alana.
She's playing the game brilliantly.
And Alana's really driven to win at this point.
You can move the pawn up and attack his knight.
He's being advised yet again by Alana.
I saw the queen come in, and, if we build up our defenses, they left themselves open to attack.
Pawn to h3.
I think that was a mistake.
Hendrik just made a huge mistake by moving his pawn to h3.
Queen captures pawn at h3.
Now my queen is safe to move in without being captured.
It can be risky to pull your queen out, but with great risk comes great reward.
Knight to g5.
I'm thinking about all the pawns in the front, and I'm thinking about where our knights are, and it's just all of that.
King's knight to g5.
Why are you moving your knight right now? It's a trap! Can't you see it's a trap?! The Hendrik versus Jon face-off in chess is the most epic nerd-off of all of the nerds that they could choose on the team.
Hendrik.
The board is yours.
King's knight to g5.
King's knight to g5.
That move was a mistake.
- [Chuckles.]
- Uh-oh.
Now there's nothing Hendrik can do.
Queen to h2.
Queen to h2 And I believe that is checkmate.
[Bleep.]
.
- That is checkmate.
- That's mate.
Bravo, Jon.
Well done.
You were a worthy opponent, Hendrik.
[Shouting.]
Jon, you have won this nerd-off.
You live to fight another day.
Congratulations.
[Applause.]
I believe winning the nerd-off definitely makes me seem like a more formidable opponent than I was, but I don't necessarily think that's a good thing.
Now I have painted a target on my forehead, and people are going to be gunning to get rid of me now.
Alana, you may also rejoin your team.
We shall play again some time.
I don't think I let him down, 'cause we lost a game, but we put up a really good fight.
But I think that Hendrik learned a lot about chess today.
Hendrik, I'm sorry.
You've lost this nerd-off.
I thought Alana would be a fairly capable advisor.
Whoops.
Do I get my head cracked open with the mace? Hendrik, while you will not be crowned king of the nerds, we know that you will take your exceptional mind and do exceptional things back in the real world.
You may go and say good-bye to your teammates.
We definitely saw Hendrik as a threat that needed to go.
It's just a huge blow to see a housemate leave.
- To Hendrik! - Hendrik! Yes! [Cheers.]
- Bye, everyone.
All: Bye, Hendrik.
Now that Hendrik is gone, it definitely feels like there's a hole in the group, but we're gonna have to get used to this.
It's just gonna be a fact of life in Nerd-Vana.
As for the rest of you nerds, tomorrow, you will face an even greater challenge.
- Good night, nerds.
- All right.
- Good night.
- Thank you, guys.
You and I are due for a beer.
- Indeed.
- If Hendrik had not moved that pawn, he quite possibly would not have been sent home.
That was his fatal flaw.
And that honestly put the scare on me that such a small mistake could mean the difference between staying and going.
It's not really known whether the universe has a finite or infinite size.
If the universe is infinite, that means that other versions of ourselves are out there in some other world.
The implications of that are startling.
You and I and everyone else on this planet has already won king of the nerds.
He was such a good nerd.
Mm-hmm.
Ohho! That had to hurt.