King of The Nerds (2013) s02e03 Episode Script

To LARP or Not to LARP

1 Previously on "King of The Nerds" Oh, dear! The Titans of Rigel won the Nerd War, blowing away the competition in the science fair.
It's something I'll put on my résumé.
And Midas Touch Attack sent Zack into the Nerd-Off, breaking the team apart.
I'm through with everything.
Zack and Josh faced each other in the Nerd-Off.
If I lose, team Midas is done.
But Zack quickly extracted victory.
This Nerd-Off was the red wedding.
And Josh's dream of being crowned King of The Nerds died on the table.
This way.
You're not in charge of me.
I'm sorry.
I kind of actually want a cookie or a banana or something.
Having Zack remain in Nerdvana works to our advantage because it causes chaos in the other team, but Josh didn't deserve to go home.
- Are you, like, sad or just tired? - No, I'm just tired.
Then lay down on your tauntaun and rest.
Seeing Josh leave "king of the nerds" was really sad.
I hope that Josh has Zack blocked on YouTube and Facebook.
I want to make sure that everyone's feelings are said, because if it goes back to what it was before, we're downright.
If I keep feeling not wanted, I don't know how I can be a part of the team because I want to be a part of this team.
- You got to prove yourself.
- I've already proven myself.
I will correct that every single time you say those words.
They tell me that I have to prove myself.
I don't hear anything, because I just proved myself as a genius.
I just don't want a repeat of the throne room incident.
- Yeah.
- It's not going to happen again.
We're winning this challenge for the Forsaken! Calling all nerds! Please join us in the courtyard! Oh, my God! It's beautiful.
Curtis looks sexy.
He's got that blond hair.
He's got huge Tracts of land.
This week is all about live-action Role-playing And gaming! Larp it up! Larping's kind of like D&D, except you're not just saying that you're gonna do something.
You're actually doing something.
If you've put on a costume and said that you're a character, you've larped.
It's role-playing.
Even if you do it in the bedroom counts.
Each team is going to get the same four characters.
It's up to you to decide who will play which role.
You need to come up with names, create costumes, build entire mythologies which will be part of a performance showcasing all of your characters' skills.
Titans of Rigel, you have five people on your team.
Therefore, one of you has to sit this one out.
You have 24 hours to prepare.
Begone with you! To the dungeon! Off with them.
Whoa! - Whoa! Oh, my God! - Awesome! This war room is amazing.
We've got costumes.
We've got horns.
We've got pokey ears.
I feel happy.
My thought is, Kayla sits out just because all of larping is improv.
And I'm not an improv chicky.
I'm the same as Kayla.
I don't do this.
Larpers are one type of nerds that I just don't understand.
I don't want to do what they do.
I think you might not embarrass us as much as I will.
I'll do it.
We'll go that route.
Can we, like, decide our roles and our setting? We have to come up with a spellsinger, a bard, a warrior, and a monk.
- Can anyone sing on here or fake-sing? - I can sing.
I think I'm the only one who can kind of carry a note.
I can only sing "It's Getting Hot In Here.
" Can you imagine Jack singing? sol fa mi re do So I have stepped up to be the spellsinger.
I can carry sort of a note.
It seems I'm the resident band geek.
Guess who's stuck as bard.
Wow.
This is bad.
The one we'd have an easier time with is the warrior.
If you're not comfortable doing the monk, I can do the monk.
I can do the monk, but I have to be a sword-fighting monk.
Monks don't use swords.
That's a misconception.
Monks use a lot of swords.
The shaolin monks they are masters of 27 different weapons.
Jack, I think that you would make a really good monk.
You have a lot more energy that the warrior really needs to bring.
I'd love to do a classic anime In anime and video games, there's often this archetype of the warrior "sword guy.
" I will re-establish the system by my sword! And sword guy is talking like this super loud and high energy! I want to fight you just because I have some things I want to get out, but this is good 'cause that means, I think, - our fight will be emotional.
- Okay! Do we create the story behind it first, or do we create the costume first? - I say story first.
- Story first.
Our game plan going in is, Xander breaks down what the character should be.
The brave knight ventures forth to do whatever, whatever, whatever.
We hand that off to Brian, who writes us a beautiful backstory.
The spellsinger hates the forest.
Meanwhile, Chris and I come up with props and puppets.
Aha! We have this in the bag.
Oh, I just can't wait to see how this pans out with the other team.
Well, anyways, can we, like, decide what we're doing, though? I want to be a different warrior.
We need Zack to write everyone's part.
He has real expertise in this field we're doing.
We just need to make sure he's focused, calm, and collected.
What if we turn this into a staff, fill it with, like, water? Why don't you go and start on it? But right now time is a really big thing for me.
I know, but I'm not trying something crazy.
Okay! Then go do it.
Go have fun.
I'm not having fun.
If you push me away from this team, I will not be a member of it, and I will drive us into the ground and systematically destroy each and every one of you! Zack! Calm down.
- I don't see how - Everyone, calm down.
I don't see how I don't see what your vision is, sweetie.
I have no vision.
That's why I was brainstorming with you.
And if you push me away and you scoff at me, - I will not be a member of this team.
- I'm not scoffing, honey.
- I'm trying to listen and understand.
- I am going to go work on the project that is required to win this competition because if they all right.
Go for it.
I'm taking you down today.
These people are idiots! Can you put this around your leg? Me? I probably can.
Ooooh! - Hi! - Curtis! We've got some piping-hot little caesars pizza awaiting you in the game room! Pizza! I am more than happy right now to stop larping or whatever the heck it is we're doing and eat some delicious pizza.
This is the best pizza.
This is just what the doctor ordered.
It's nice to step away from costuming for a few seconds.
I know.
I love my team, and they're so much fun.
How do wookiees say "little caesars"? I can't imagine what life is like on that other team.
This is a little awkward, but it did not decrease the awesomely tasty pizza.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
Wish me luck! Whether we like it or not, Zack needs to work with us, as we need to work with Zack, so I need to get him to calm down like I did last time.
Brian, could you please excuse us for a second? Sure, I no, Brian, Brian, stay here, really.
Listen, guess what.
I don't want to lose, so All right.
I was in the radioshack lab, then Nicole comes in, and she starts doing her Nicole act again.
Here's the thing.
You are a fantastic writer.
You are God's gift.
I have to tell Zack how brilliant of a writer he is.
Mind games are part of the game.
I wasn't sure what color you liked, so I'm happy to be the writing slave.
I just don't want to feel like I'm being taken advantage of again.
I can start writing right now, and I will, but I'm frustrated, I'm saying, and I - need a hug? - Yeah.
- You need a hug.
- I need a hug.
- Come here.
It's okay.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go work on my costume.
Have fun.
Yeah.
What I'm going to do for myself is not get as emotionally invested this time.
So, you're over here, - then I cast the spell to throw her back.
- Okay.
At this point, victory looms over us like a ripe banana.
It's morea! Ca-caw! I'll dispatch you to the gates of hell! We've got the story.
We've got the costumes.
We've got Katie's marionette.
Ca-caw! Ca-caaaaw! I feel really good about this.
I don't want to sound too overconfident, but midas touch will have to pull off some kind of miracle to beat us.
How are you feeling this fine, lovely day? Could be better.
It could be worse.
Small victories.
He hasn't flung off the rocker yet.
Yeah.
- He's a ticking time bomb, you know? - Mm-hmm.
This is just gonna be incredibly awkward.
Right now I don't have a lot of confidence in our team.
Mary Kate has no tolerance.
Zack has no humility.
Nicole has no confidence.
We are really like "the wizard of oz.
" Just remember nobody lose their cool onstage, okay? I want to win for the spirit of competition.
I want to win because I don't want to embarrass myself.
So I may do something drastic to get our team back in the game.
Heroes! Villains! Join us outside! Combatants, are you ready to do battle in the "King of The Nerds" Ultimate Larp?! - Yeah! - It's time! To judge your larpishness, first, he was Hercules to millions the proto-larper, Kevin Sorbo.
Huzzah! The Legendary Journeys," and my goodness, that hair, those eyes Kevin, you got me all a-fluster, honey! Next, the pre-eminent expert in the art of cosplay.
Please welcome back.
- Yaya Han! - Yay! Huzzah! If you were to start naming cosplay phenoms, 99 of 100 people will say Yaya Han.
She loves the craft, and she's in a gorgeous Scarlet witch costume.
Oh, my God.
I based my cape off of her cape.
Kevin Sorbo and Yaya Han? My nerd boner was just hitting me in the face.
It was awful.
And finally, he was Napoleon Dynamite Oh! Channeling the inner nerd in all of us Jon Heder! Jon Heder is one of my favorite comedians.
I loved him in "Napoleon Dynamite.
" I loved him in "Blades of Glory.
" He is a true nerd.
Your fight scenes were badass.
Unh! You will be judged on your costumes, performance, depth of mythology, and your individual character work.
I am super nervous at the amount of hours spent babysitting Zack.
That amount of time could have been spent practicing some more.
Titans of Rigel, you may take your seats.
Jack's been hiding his head all morning.
I'm not sure what he's up to in this challenge.
I summon Midas Touch Attack.
Jack's big reveal is He's bald! Ladies and gentlemen of nerdlandia But the judges didn't know he had hair, so it wasn't a big reveal.
In the true spirit of live-action role-play, henceforth is entirely improvisation.
We're here to finally put an end to the oppressive enem sono government! I am Magnus, and my blade shall taste your flesh! Take this! And another! And another! We must approach Sacre Monje and bring an end to this all.
A swordsman in penny loafers? What, is he going to slay some goblins, then go to his 4:00 meeting? You have my song, sir.
Khalan has trained in the art of spellsinging.
The song of light, it gives me might Then we will be successful! Our story is big.
We constructed an entire world rather, you know, I constructed an entire world where a fantasy government is suppressing individuality.
We have come to end your corrupt government! What do you have to say for yourself? You talk too much.
I am Sacre Monje! I'm here to defend the laws of the enem sono, and my blade hungers for your blood.
You have no honor.
You can decide if my blade has honor or not after it's inside of your skull.
He's got a quiet dignity about him.
I try and please him with sound, and yet the beatings continue.
If the music was powerful enough, I could control people.
You try! It's important for the judges to realize that we are improving everything in front of them.
We lose a bit of the polished flash, but what we have is pure and actual larping.
My power it exceeds yours! My spells are not working! - Aah! - Ha! If by improvising they mean performing it at random times with no real blocking - Those spells! Aah! - Aah! Then, yes, that's what they're doing.
- Yah! - Aah! Hyah! Ohh! Did we make a difference? Of course we have.
Then I can die In peace.
- Interesting.
- Nerdy.
If the judges didn't understand our story, I'm not horrifyingly concerned about that.
They're, uh, kind of making, like, an analogy of nerds.
- Yeah.
- Titans of Rigel, the stage is yours.
Our story is able to establish an entire world with three different races in only three minutes.
Welcome, young students! Here, in the kingdom of mintaka, music is more than social.
I call on the muses wide and proud In a cloud I spied this young warrior, a certain Titusss.
Titusss loves to emphasize s's.
I am Titusss-sss.
Itacho, the one who sings magics.
I am Itacho, the spellsinger! You've probably heard of me.
The key to magic in this world is music.
Would you like to see an example? Would you like to see an example?! Yes, please.
Whoa, he's intense.
Though the bards of you will sing I'm not really seeing spellsinger in Xander.
I'm just seeing an old, crotchety mage.
filled with beads So nerdy.
Love it.
Itacho's song rose to the heavens and brought down powerful magics! My dark powers to you I show As I conjure an evil crow I'm not impressed with Katie's performance because her story just doesn't make sense to me.
She is a female monk? That's impossible.
I'll dispatch you to the gates of hell! Unh! Ooh.
Now that the dark power courses through my veins, I feel overwhelmed! Costume change in under three minutes.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate that.
She is a forest monk! Katie's dressed like a forest nymph, not a monk.
Apparently, they redefined monk in the last five seconds.
Winds encircle, measure entwine Their singing battle is like Jean valjean versus javert from "les mis.
" You only capture a puff of air Katie's got this athletic ability.
She's flipping all around.
And Xander is just imposing with this sexy, dark voice.
Into the ground Wait! Hold! This isn't how it happened! There was somebody else here! Why, it was me! As purple goes, they're just making me realize that they don't know what larp is more and more.
This is a play they're putting on.
It's not larp.
Aaaah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! It is done! Good job! Team Midas Touch Attack winning today isn't gonna happen.
Just like Spock says, that even the impossible is probable from time to time.
But in this case Probably not.
Team midas touch, please join them.
I know we did a good job.
I don't know how we came together, but there is still hope for us yet.
Jon? I want to say both were pretty awesome.
I love the stories.
A lot of the things, like my puppet and the costume-change reveal, didn't get a big reaction that I thought they would.
Titans of Rigel, I feel like you're more into the art than the magic.
I love the choreography, fighting, and dancing on team Rigel that was pretty impressive.
May I ask, who came up with the story on both teams? The mythology before you belongs to one particular warrior.
I feel a lot of pride knowing that that story was my concept.
I didn't just pull my weight in the larping Nerd War.
I, like, was the larping Nerd War.
That being said, may I remind you that what you saw here before as a group performance had never been written previously.
It was all a bit of magic coming from the tops of our heads.
Yellow bard is in character the entire time.
- Kevin? - This was great.
They would have loved you at Comic-Con.
Yes, they would have.
The level of nerdiness was phenomenal on both sides.
Now it is time for you three to judge their costumes, performances, mythology, and individual character work, and come up with a winner.
Oh, my God! This is really hard.
We've got the costumes.
We've got the makeup.
Most importantly, we've got the team cohesiveness, the hive mind.
He had a better story, I thought.
There's no clear winner here.
Statistically, it's 64/36.
We're gonna win.
That's my vote.
My vote, too.
Absolutely.
We've reached a decision.
Who won this Nerd War? I'm gonna stand for this one.
Gonna stand for justice and honor.
If we do not win this competition, I'm going into the Nerd-Off for sure.
This was all my responsibility.
We all thought both teams were extremely good and nerdy.
Again, we love the stories and the commitment to character.
But in the end, there has to be only one.
Titans of Rigel, you are our winners.
- Whoo! - Good job, guys! Way to go! Ca-caw! For your reward, you will be going back in time to the high seas, where you will battle a sea dragon and drink with a bunch of pirates! It's in Anaheim.
Midas Touch Attack, two of your members will go to the Nerd-Off.
You may return to Nerdvana.
I'm so psyched about our amazing performance that I'm not freaking out.
We did larpers proud.
I feel like there are larpers screaming at their television right now going, "how come they didn't win?" Oh, in the front? Hello, front row.
V.
I.
P Very important pirates! Let the adventure begin! This is awesome.
I'm having a blast.
There's something for everyone.
I'm enjoying the swordplay - and the fake guns.
- Yowsers! There's great-looking guys for Xander to worry about.
Burn 'em alive! So drink up, me hearties.
Then we got to do live sword-fighting with the scoundrels themselves.
Arr! We're here stabbing at pirates, and back at Nerdvana, who knows what kind of backstabbing is going on.
So, are we gonna end up talking as a team, you think? Didn't you say that you wanted to vote yourself in? So - No, I'm not voting myself in unless I need to vote myself in.
Zack made this sweeping outburst that he's gonna vote himself in the Nerd War every single time.
I'm going to defeat whoever's in there, and then I'm going to vote myself for the next one and defeat the next person again.
Now that we're back in the Nerd-Off again, he's all of a sudden changing his tune.
I am going to evaluate who I think should go into the Nerd-Off on how that individual performed in the war.
- I performed very well, so - I think you did great in the war.
However, there was a lot of time spent - trying to talk you off a cliff.
- That's inaccurate.
I don't know why my team would vote me into the Nerd-Off, but I know that they're going to because for some reason, my team hates me, because they're all idiots.
If you send me into this Nerd-Off, win or lose Why are you afraid of going into it? You cannot make afraid of that which is already dead.
I'm a forsaken.
When they start trying to push the forsaken out of the horde, the forsaken is going to fight back.
Did you see me destroy Josh? And don't even try to start that logic.
It's just hilarious because I can understand everything right now.
You understand, within my head, there is an interweaving cosmos that you cannot even begin to decipher.
I am in four dimensions, and you are still stuck in your three.
This is obviously not gonna go anywhere because you're gonna be immature about it, and I'm not gonna have an argument.
I'm not being immature because you're too weak to actually comprehend the gravity of the situation and the decision that you are making right now.
Do you even know how gravity works? Explain it right now, right now.
Three seconds.
- Explain gravity.
- I have nothing to prove to you.
That's the funniest thing ever! She doesn't even know how gravity works! That's, like, the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life! You are going home tomorrow.
This will be the greatest thing ever.
First Josh, Mary Kate.
I will be dismantling this team.
'Cause I know I don't have your vote.
I know I don't have her vote.
So my plan instead is to completely annihilate every single one of you because I'm through with it.
What the happened? Zack, why are you like a 5-year-old? Midas Touch Attack everything we touch turns into a dramatic mess.
Ta-da! You pushed me into this by deciding to vote me in.
If you didn't decide to vote me in, you wouldn't have this.
Instead, you're going to lose.
As soon as I said, "Zack, you know I'm voting for you," he just flew off the handle.
He said, "do you even know how gravity works?" And I said, "I have nothing to prove to you.
" I don't know how gravity works.
Gravity how does it work? Most people don't know how gravity works.
It's actually a very, very Well, no, that's the universal gravitational constant.
Okay, anyway, back to the story.
Gravity is so complicated, none of us will be able to knows how it works.
At that point, I didn't know what to do.
I just hope that we are at least on the same page, and we want to maximize the probability of Zack going home.
He is playing a What kind of potatoes are these? Are they like Zack's the potato man.
Yeah, I was gonna say, "ask Jack.
" This is gonna make me sound like a vicious person - Go for it.
- But keeping Zack around? No.
No.
I'm kind of with Katie on this.
In order to play the game, Zack should stay.
It means, basically, do we put M.
K.
In? That would destroy her.
She's I think that she's the weakest.
Just 'cause she's so frazzled, I think.
Let me actually we have an awesome whiteboard here.
We have pressure on the "x" axis.
Zack is still disrupting the gold team.
He will hit that inflection point sooner or later.
Strategically speaking, we don't want him to go home.
My way of thinking of it is, I'm playing a board game.
No, we're not playing with plastic pieces at all.
We're playing with people.
I want Zack gone.
I'd rather win nerd on nerd, not using Zack as a psychological-warfare tool.
Would it be more beneficial for us to put either Jack or Nicole in to get them out of the competition? The best strategy is to see who can Zack beat.
I still don't know what we're doing.
I know.
My brain hurts.
Calling all nerds! Please join us in The Throne Room! I'm a little bit looking forward to another explosion from Zack today.
Watching people crash and burn is cringe-worthy for me, but I love it.
Today, two nerds go head-to-head in the Nerd-Off.
The winner will stay to compete for the crown and the right to sit atop The Throne Of Games! The loser goes home immediately.
Mary Kate, rough night last night, eh? It was.
Has anything changed this morning? Negative, ghost rider.
Zack, do you hope to make amends? What's happened in the past can't be changed.
What is happening now is the only thing that can be altered.
At the same time, I am not going to allow other people necessarily to freely insult me or my talents.
The teams have voted, and your tallies are here.
Thank you, Robert.
Midas Touch Attack.
By unanimous vote Zack will be going to the Nerd-Off.
Yep.
Wy did you vote for yourself? I will still attest that I believe the strongest players in Nerdvana are actually on my team.
Eventually, this will be an individual game, and if I've sent home Josh and then any other of them, at that point, I feel that my chances of success are astronomically higher.
Let's find out who you will be competing with.
We shall.
Titans of Rigel, you have voted.
By unanimous decision, again Mary Kate, you will be going to the Nerd-Off.
We have a disease in the house, and I'm the person to take it out for honor, for glory, for Nerdvana.
Those would be the insults I was talking about earlier.
I wonder what your definition of an insult is.
I did not hear one right there.
She didn't explicitly state your name.
It's implied.
You don't need to explicitly state something within language or communication.
It's an implication.
It's all about semantics with you.
It is about semantics.
You're right.
I am an English major, and I'm a writing nerd.
Just remember how you're portrayed.
Do you want the "World of Warcraft" players out there to be represented by someone acting like that? I'm acting with passion, and I'm acting with resolve.
Zack's goal is to cause his own team havoc.
So, how do you keep Zack in this game? Well, you send the weakest person to the Nerd-Off.
Sorry, Mary Kate.
Zack, Mary Kate, step forward, please.
Bend the knee.
Today you will be competing in a turn-based, strategic war game called.
"Battle Hammer.
" Now, you will be able to choose a person from either team to be your aide-de-camp.
You'll find your strategy guides in your war rooms.
May the best nerd win.
I can use the expression that Mary Kate's the jedi and Zack is the sith in this regard, but I don't want to offend any sith out there.
Okay.
Let's see.
I'm a board gamer, so I think I have a little bit of an upper hand going into this Nerd-Off.
How this works is, we have, of course, two boards.
These are like your ships.
"Battle Hammer" is like a medieval "Battleship" with a twist.
You roll a dice to decide, for starters, how many attacks you get.
You can either attack on your turn or defend on your turn.
You can't do both.
If I say "defend," I can move on the "x" and "y" axis.
All the defensive stances make the game much more difficult than "Battleship.
" Because you have probability, you would be the stronger adviser for me.
That's fine.
I'm picking Jack to advise me.
He knows a lot of probability stuff.
I think we have to roll this dice a hundred times and figure out what the probably of each one is, actually.
So he's working on trying to break the game a little bit.
May the odds be ever in my favor.
I mean, I need an adviser.
So, do you have someone you're going to specifically ask? No, not really.
- I just need Someone.
- Uh-huh.
Despite the fact that we want Zack to stay in at this point, we want to be like Switzerland here.
We want to be neutral.
We can provide emotional support, but material support crosses a line.
Yay! All right.
No one wants to even play with me.
It comes under the dot.
How are you being a nerd if you're not even willing to play a board game with me? Like, this is "Battleship"? Except you can move things.
I just have something I just really need to say.
I need an adviser to be able to play the game, and I would really like it if one of you can step up to the bat, not just for humanity, but for the sake of just nerds everywhere, and just help me out here, or at the very least, play the silly game with me.
We're all nerds, and at one point in our lives We have all felt like There is no one that wants us.
We're all talking about how being picked last is the nerdiest thing that can possibly happen to someone, but I think that's incorrect.
The nerdiest thing that can happen to someone is not being wanted at all.
And right now, basically, no one actually wants me here.
And it makes me feel like the biggest nerd of all.
Regardless of who comes back to this house, you need to stop bullying people.
Do you understand? I feel bullied by you.
I apologize.
What I said was wrong.
And, trust me, I've been doing a lot of thinking myself, too.
That's why I apologize to everyone - because I wasn't perfect.
- Okay.
We're all nerds, and we're the greatest people in society at the same time as being the people in society who, basically, no one wants.
We have to at least want each other.
You can want one of us to win, and you can want one of us to lose, but we have to at least want each other.
I think that's what's really important.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Nerds we like to see ourselves as being inclusive of people on the periphery.
It's tough to think that we may not have been quite as accepting to Zack as we could have been.
So, I can go through one by one Chris, will you be my adviser? Yes.
You will? Yeah, let's go.
Let's go.
I'm still worried that Zack will blow up again, but I have hope.
If he does win, I think we should probably try to push past this now, I think.
"Hope" is a very strange term, but I have hope that Zack can still be a valuable member of the team if he wins.
We weren't trying to avoid you.
- We were just hoping you would ask.
- Yep.
Ahoy! Wow! Welcome to the most devilish war game ever devised "Battle Hammer"! M.
K.
Is definitely nervous.
Not only does she have the pressure of beating Zack for her sake, but she has the pressure of beating Zack for all of us.
Now, the game begins as you secretly place your 23 units on the board according to their designated starting configuration.
On your turn, you will roll the die to determine the number of moves you can make.
If you decide to defend, you may move your individual units the corresponding number of spaces.
If you decide to attack, you will call out a grid reference in an attempt to find and destroy your opponent's units.
The game ends when all 23 of your opponent's units are obliterated.
Now it's time to crush the troops! To crush the troops! Thank you.
Aaaaah! Ascend the battle chairs of death! Two nerds enter.
One nerd leaves.
Mary Kate, who is your aide-de-camp? Jack.
Jack is a probability guy, so he knew probability-wise where we should go.
I have chosen Chris.
I am helping Zack because I just feel bad for him.
Everyone needs at least one friend in the house, someone that they can talk to.
Mary Kate, you may roll the dice.
Three.
Attack or defend? We're gonna defend.
I think this is actually a really strong opening move.
You're expecting these solid blocks of pieces on the board.
That really scrambles it and makes it harder for the other player to anticipate the placement of your pieces.
Zack, it is your turn.
Two.
Defend or attack? We're going to start by attacking.
E-8.
I had this feeling Zack is going to just attack.
I am going to also attack F-8.
That's all he knows how to do, and that's what kind of player he's gonna be.
E-8 is a hit on archer.
For the red horde! Direct hit! F-8 is a miss.
Mary Kate, it is your turn.
I love tabletopping One.
But I kind of suck at rolling, and rolling is a big aspect of this game.
Attack.
C-3.
That is a miss.
I am Zack's adviser for this Nerd-Off, and he's not using me at all.
I will be attacking C-8.
C-8 is a miss.
I basically sat there and watched Zack mumble to himself the entire time.
This is ridiculous.
B-7.
A hit on an orc.
- E-1.
- Hit on a pikeman.
In the beginning, we were just trying to find each other's pieces.
E-6 and F-2.
It's just move after move, and it goes back and forth.
16 Mary Kate, 14 Zack.
She takes another one of mine.
I took another of hers.
The hammers just come down.
This is the most epic game of "Battle Hammer" in the history of mankind! It's also the first one.
The score is 9 to 7, and, Mary Kate, it is your turn to roll the dice.
Yes! So, D-2.
My role is to find out how to attack Zack the best.
At this moment, missing is just as good as making a hit.
We go off by the diagonals, meaning that we would try to evenly cover all the areas of the grid.
D-2 and F-5.
Because Zack was not defending, they were pretty easy pickings.
Yes! Now it's almost a matter of time before I just completely destroy them.
I need to find some of hers fast.
When Mary Kate defended, that confused the heck out of me.
Two.
I'll be I need to figure out some way to make it so that they miss a couple times.
- I will be defending.
- Mark that.
So I made a double move on my archer.
Hopefully, she won't be able to figure out where that archer is.
Mary Kate, it's your turn to roll.
One.
Jack and I are totally tag-teaming Zack at this point.
- C-5.
- A hit.
Zack, you have four units remaining on the board.
We know where most of his units are.
Two.
If m.
K.
Keeps her head, Zack's ass is toast.
Help us, Mary Kate.
You're our only hope.
G-4 and G-5.
The score is Zack 4, Mary Kate 7.
One.
Once again, my curse of rolling horribly has followed me into the Nerd-Off.
A-4 is a hit.
A three.
I will be attacking H-6 G-2.
She had such a big lead, and he's just taking it inch by inch.
D-7.
You can see the resolve on Mary Kate's face just failing.
One.
I cannot seem to pull a higher number than a one.
Attacking B-5.
It is destroying my strategy.
Two.
It's destroying my side of the board.
It is destroying my chances of getting back into Nerdvana.
I got a zero.
The score is tied.
The first player to eliminate their opponent's remaining two pieces wins.
Mary Kate, you may roll.
I got a zero.
I'm so bad at dice rolls! Zack, you may roll the dice.
A one.
The outcome of this Nerd-Off is really going to change the way this game is played.
A-3.
Right now all of our strategy revolves around the fact that Zack is guaranteed to screw up the other team.
A hit on a knight.
Mary Kate, you may roll.
Zack only has four or five positions to move that archer in.
We knocked out a couple possibilities, so if Mary Kate rolls a three, we're in good shape.
I got a two.
- He moved it up here.
- No, he could have moved it here.
It's one out of three.
We know where one of the final two units are H-7.
And Jack and I knew his archer had been moved.
However, we did not know where exactly it was.
She can't find that one.
Which one do you think is the best possibility.
- I don't know.
Here.
- It was a crapshoot.
And D-4.
D-4 ls a miss.
Only one piece remains on the battlefield for both teams.
Okay.
Roll a zero.
I got a one.
Mary Kate completely fooled me by defending early in the game.
I know it's one of two positions c-7 or h-7.
I will be attacking I have basically a 50/50 shot to win this entire thing.
C-7.
C-7 is a hit on archer! Victory for sylvanas! Zack, you have won For the horde.
I know that I wanted this to happen, but a large part of me really worries about what kind of a monster we have unleashed and if we will be able to contain him in the future.
Mary Kate, your time is ending on the battlefield.
Fly away, our young rocket scientist, into the stars that hold your future.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
It really just hurts a lot.
It was really down to the wire.
I hope that Zack realizes how close he was to losing this game.
It was a game of luck.
Keep respectable.
- That was all it was.
- Keep it honorable in this house.
Do not talk to these people like dirt.
Do not try to treat them like you treated me in this house.
I hope Mary Kate knocked some sense into Zack, but I really don't know.
And that not knowing it sucks.
While my time in the house had its down points, the down points could never squash the amazing, magical times I've had in this house.
Carl sagan once said, "somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known," and I want to know it.
I'm leaving Nerdvana to go find it.
Hammer time.
- Squished.
- Boy, I'll say.