Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (2020) s01e03 Episode Script

Real Cats Wear Plaid

1 [squealing.]
Today's the day.
All the way to the ceiling.
[groans.]
What's the holdup, slowpoke? No holdup.
Why? [giggles.]
Does it look like I'm holding up? No, you are clearly not holding up.
But, uh, while we're waiting, tell me, what minerals are in most abundance at this stratum? Dad, that's easy: azurite and malachite, two of my favorite "ites.
" If you can ace a pop geology quiz, then I know you can make it the rest of the way.
[grunts.]
[rumbling.]
Hmm.
Whoo! Just a Mega Mute passing overhead.
Little close, but nothing to worry about.
Two, three, four Five seconds between footsteps.
Whoa, this one's big.
What do you think it is? I'm guessing a 400-foot-tall squirrel with eight tails.
Maybe it's a giant dolphin that's adapted to walk on land.
Dolphin? Well, I did read once they have vestigial leg bones [Mega Mute roars.]
- from millions of years ago.
- They found us Did you know they used to look like horses before they went into the water? Dad, Dad, are you listening to me? [grunts.]
[screams.]
[grunts.]
[gasping.]
Dad! Dad! [grunting.]
Kipo! [grunting.]
[Mega Mute grunting.]
It's OK.
You got Kipo out OK, that's what matters.
The rest [roaring.]
Piece of cake? [growling.]
[theme playing.]
Uh guys? More mutes! Are these ones friendly or unfriendly? There's an entire army of them.
Packing axes.
- What do you think? - Unfriendly.
Got it.
Charge! [all yelling.]
Oh, man! Oh, man! Those are Timbercats! - Cats eat bugs! - Dave, you're flying! Fly us out of here! [grunting.]
- [gasps.]
- [all grunt.]
Yeah, sorry, guys.
Dave's got a little bit of, uh performance anxiety issues.
Lesson seven of the surface: [battle cries.]
Know when to run! [panting.]
[cat screeches.]
The footprints led right here! The monster's got to be here somewhere.
Keep looking! Tree-stealer! Where are you hiding? We're wasting our time.
Whatever it is, it's long gone by now.
[hisses.]
You can't know that for sure, Molly Yarnchopper! I know what I see.
You think your tiny axes can stop the thing that did all this? [gasps.]
That's from the Scratching Tree.
Raise your axes for the Scratching Tree! [all meowing.]
The Mega Mute must have used our tree to make this crater.
We're no match for a beast who could do that.
Not with our leader gone.
Not without Yumyan Hammerpaw.
Guys, I think the Mega Mute they're looking for, is the same one who destroyed my city.
What if my people didn't get away? What if it took them? We should team up with these cats to find it.
- We have an enemy in common.
- Oh, Kipo.
Humans and mutes don't mix unless they're eating us.
But they have an army! [gasps, groans.]
Hi, there! Um, funny coincidence, the Mega Mute you're looking for? We're looking for it, too.
We should totally team up! Uh and I know what you're thinking.
Humans and mutes? Crazy.
But I say peace between the species.
Right? I tried.
Something tells me this isn't the kind of sand you find at the beach.
[squealing.]
Hey! Litter is not food! If you had listened to me, we would have gotten away.
Clearly, the cats need some time to warm up to the idea of working with humans.
[meowing.]
Maybe a lot of time.
But I will win them over.
I don't work with mutes.
I tell you, these years go by so fast.
[screeching.]
[screeching.]
[giggles.]
[all screeching.]
Stand at attention! You're in front of the Scratching Tree! It looks like it's um, how do I say, uh, not much of a tree anymore.
Hey! It's sacred to our very way of life! What's that on your sweater, human? Is that supposed to be funny? Oh, this old rag? It's from a very long time ago, when humans used to keep cats as, uh, pets.
You know, I I can just wear it like this.
[grunts.]
I'm back in fightin' shape.
Aw, man, I just remembered we got caught.
What do we do with these humans? Should we eat 'em? We'd have to clean them first, they rode here in the litter.
I say we bat them between our paws for several hours until we get bored.
I wish Yumyan were here.
He'd know what to do.
- He always decides these things for us.
- [cat 1.]
Eat them! - [cat 2.]
Bat them! - [cat 1.]
Eat them! - [cat 2.]
Bat them! - [cat 1.]
Eat them! There's only one way to settle it.
[screeches.]
Caterbrawl! [all screeching.]
We need to get out of this madhouse as soon as possible.
But look at them! The poor things are lost without their friend Yumyan.
[both crying.]
We should help them find him! And not for selfish reasons, although we do need to win them over, it's just the right thing to do! Yeah, no.
I'm with Tiny on this one.
Call me that again and you're a dead man.
No! This isn't right! It's just not the same, not without Yumyan! Ohh! If you don't mind me asking, who is this Yumyan? This human keeps talking to us.
Why does she keep doing that? Who is Yumyan Hammerpaw? He's the Lord of the Timbercats! Or at least he was.
Oh sorry.
So long, Yumyan.
Hardly knew ya.
[screeching.]
Whoa, what is that? Sounds like Pierre, Yumyan's pet.
You might want to duck.
[screeching.]
[chittering.]
Timber! OK, that tree was not stable.
How come no one thought to chop it down? Does Yumyan have to remind us to do everything? Uh, somebody still needs to get Pierre back on his leash.
- [screeching.]
- [screaming.]
Any volunteers? [Kipo.]
We volunteer! Really? I have half a mind to put that thing around your neck.
Don't you ever do things you don't want to do, to help others? [grunts.]
Nope.
Are you gonna hit him with that? What do you want me to stop him with, a dirty look? [chittering.]
OK, on the count of three [all.]
Charge! [screeching.]
[grunting.]
[gasps.]
[nervous chuckle.]
No, no, no, no, no, no! Kipo, tuck and roll! [all gasping.]
Ohh, you were just a sweet, hungry pet, who hasn't had a bite in days.
All right, maybe we won't eat the humans.
- Any other ideas? - Oh, here's an idea.
Just, you know, spitballin'.
Let us go? Ooh! I got it! We trade 'em to Scarlemagne.
Of course, Scarlemagne! That's what Yumyan Hammerpaw would do.
Wait, you guys can't be serious.
- Not - Scarlemagne.
Uh, we need to talk about this.
His name keeps coming up, and it's a freaky name! Picture the most dangerous, frightening thing imaginable.
Now imagine something ten times worse.
Get the idea? Hey! Uh, listen, before you do anything rash here, can we discuss all this syrup you have? Because you haven't lived until you've tried my world famous flapjacks.
- Right, Dave? - Oh, they're like magic.
- Magic flapjacks.
- Hm.
Flapjacks do sound good.
Next time you guys want to serve cat food, leave me out of it.
O ye of little faith.
We are cooking up more than sustenance.
[Dave.]
Just you keep stirring that batter, Wolfy.
[gasps.]
You two are plotting an escape, aren't you? Makes sense.
But wouldn't it make more sense to not escape? Kipo! Reality check! They're going to trade us to Scarlemagne! [scoffs.]
How do you know? They haven't seen my special Mister Flappy cakes yet.
[squeals.]
[sighs.]
I keep thinking I'll blink, and then magically Yumyan will be there, leading our dinner like he always does.
I feel dead inside.
[screeching.]
These are so good.
They fill my stomach, but not my heart! I miss Yumyan! We should add his portrait to our dome of great Axe Lords.
So he'll always be looking down at us while we eat.
No! That's just for Axe Lords who are already gone.
I'm not ready to hang up his axe.
Let's carve his face up there! [all shouting.]
- No, it's too early! - Now's the time! - [cat 1.]
You gotta let go, man! - [cat 2.]
I can't let go! [cat 1.]
Let go! We gotta honor him up there.
[guitar strums.]
- [nervous chuckle.]
- That's Yumyan's guitar, human.
Nobody plays it but him.
Well, since he's passed on, I figured I could play it for him.
Passed on? Whoever said that? He's just stuck up in a tree! [scoffs.]
Wait, what? All this time? Why don't you just climb up there and get him back down? - [all gasp.]
- [screeches.]
He went above the canopy.
No Timbercat has ever gone above the canopy.
Wow, above the canopy.
Why would he do that? When the beast showed up to steal the Scratching Tree, Yumyan ran up there to fight him.
Ooh! Yumyan sounds very brave.
You must have a lot of stories about him.
Oh, that's not even half the legend.
He was born with an axe in his fur The toughest cat that you ever saw Well, he can chop down a tree With just one swing We call him Yumyan Hammerpaw Whoa! Whoa! We call him Yumyan Hammerpaw! [laugh.]
He could punch out A thousand grizzly bears He's mighty tall at seven feet His beard is so tough It gets in fights His favorite food is luncheon meat Whoa! Whoa! His favorite food is luncheon meat [cat whooping.]
[cat 1.]
Everybody! Yumyan Hammerpaw! [hacking.]
Yumyan Hammerpaw! How much fur did we put in the batter? A lot.
[all hacking.]
I hear Yumyan writes manly poems About chainsaws, cranks, and gears He also shoots lasers from his eyes And puts out fires with his tears [all hacking.]
Wait, what happened? Were the lasers too much? [hacking.]
[gasps.]
Stalky, I missed you.
That time I was really making progress.
I was lead guitar in a cat band! - [gasps.]
- [grunts.]
[all screaming.]
Jump! [grunts.]
- This is a new way to travel! - Feline, two o'clock! [screeching.]
- [grunts.]
- [battle cry.]
- Yumyan - [yowls.]
Yumyan Come on! Hammerpaw Yumyan Hammerpaw [whimpers.]
We'll camp here.
In the morning, we'll pick up those Mega Mute tracks, see if they lead to your people.
Phew! Good idea.
We don't need those cats to help us, and they don't - [grunt.]
- need our help either.
You up there, Yumyan? If I'm doing this, you'd better be.
All the way to the canopy.
[gasps.]
Why'd you look? Kipo, is this tree deciduous or coniferous? Coniferous.
Means the leaves are green year-round.
Not bad for someone who grew up in a cave.
[grunting.]
[snoring.]
[squeal.]
[snorting.]
[squeal.]
[yells.]
Why would you do that? [squealing.]
- Huh? - [grunt.]
[Kipo grunting.]
[gasps.]
Whoa.
[growls.]
Yumyan owns you all! Yumyan! Oh, no! Are you still up here?! I came here to find you! [growls.]
You know how long I've been chasing that rotten insect? - Three days! - [Kipo grunts.]
Oh, but to him, it's all just a dance.
He flutters around, saying, "Look at me, I'm so pretty.
" Eventually he has to tire out.
Any moment now.
Yumyan owns you all! [screeches.]
Hey, what's that you keep saying? "Yumyan owns you all!" [sighs.]
It's a new battle cry I'm testing out, to strike fear in the hearts of mine enemies, of which there are many.
They will cower when they hear it.
Speaking of enemies, out there somewhere is the Mega Mute who stole your tree.
- [grunting.]
- I think it may also have my father.
That's why I'm here, to get you back down to your village, so we could all find them together.
I don't work with humans, human.
It's Kipo.
Out of curiosity, why do you want that butterfly so bad? He lived on the Scratching Tree.
The tree's spirit lives in him now.
I hear it speaking to me.
I named him Charles.
[gasps.]
What's that, Charles? You want me to get you? You want me to get you? [laughs.]
I'm gonna get you! Um, mind if I try? I'm good with bugs.
I got Pierre on his leash earlier.
You put a leash on Pierre? Oh.
[laughs.]
See? It just takes a gentle touch, that's all.
Yumyan owns you all! Fly for your life! - [Yumyan grunts.]
- [gasps.]
[whimpers.]
The tree spirit got away! - Charles! - OK, that's enough! I'm not the only one who needs your help! You have a whole village down there that's falling apart without you! I know what it's like to lose someone important.
I just lost my dad.
Believe me, it's not a good feeling.
But I can't leave! I lost our tree! The great Axe Lords of yore spent years scratching and sculpting it, getting it just right! And Charles, has its spirit! Now you're just making excuses! [growling.]
[sighs.]
You're right.
I ran.
I ran away from the tree thief in fear.
So, that's why you're stuck.
Wanna tell me about it? I was having my evening scratch, the next thing, I'm looking up at the biggest monster I've ever seen.
Six arms, eyes red as a logger's flannel.
So, I ran up this tree.
Any sane person, mute or human, would have done the same.
Not a leader of Timbercats.
And look at them down there.
[hacking.]
I am.
And you know what? They need you a lot more than their tree.
She's right.
They need you, man.
- Uh - Maybe you're right.
Hmm So, are you ready to go back down? [groans.]
OK, just but just give me a minute.
[grunts.]
Kipo owns you all! [Yumyan yells.]
First the Scratching Tree, then Yumyan, and now the prisoners are gone, too.
It's like we're not even Timbercats anymore.
As long as we have axes in our paws, we'll always be Timbercats.
And as long as we have Yumyan in our hearts, he'll always be Right there! He's right there! [yelling.]
Yumyan owns you all! [screaming, grunting.]
[screaming.]
[panting.]
[grunts.]
[all cheering.]
I almost forgot what it was like to hold this.
[cheering.]
[Wolf.]
Guys, we had one job: keep Kipo from dying! Hmm.
Let me see.
Who was supposed to stay up all night making sure Kipo didn't ditch the camp? That's right.
None of us.
Because she's her own person who makes her own decisions.
If the Timbercats haven't already killed her, I may have to kill her myself.
[squealing.]
[Kipo exclaims.]
This is going to be so cute! That's not exactly the look I was going for.
Guys! There you are! You know how I said I wanted to hunt down that Mega Mute? And you were all like, "Yeah, you and what army?" Well, guess what? We have an army! [all roaring.]
He was born with an axe in his fur The toughest cat that you ever saw Well, he can chop down a tree With just one swing We call him Yumyan Hammerpaw Whoa! Whoa! We call him Yumyan Hammerpaw [laughter.]

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