Knokke Off (2023) s01e04 Episode Script

Ik heb een fucking goed idee!

1
["Walk Walk" by Sylvie Kreusch playing]
[car engine revving]
Walk, walk, walk ♪
Walk, walk, walk ♪
Years go by ♪
There is another horizon
And I own it now ♪
Stronger than I've ever been ♪
And I call it an illusion ♪
INSUFFICIENT FUNDS
Whenever I breathe out
Feels like I'm losing all your memories ♪
All of our memories ♪
[keyboard beeping]
PROCESSING
All eyes on me and I let them ♪
INSUFFICIENT FUNDS
They call out to me, aah ♪
Good signs are here, I can feel them
A change of the season ♪
- [Louise] Hello, you've reached Louise
- Fuck!
[beep and static]
- [Alex] Jacques, is Daan here?
- No, he's off today.
- And Louise?
- No, she's not here either.
Come. Come with me to the back.
[Eleonore] You have to go to the ER.
Stop it.
- Stop it, we're going to hospital.
- [Patrick] No way, you call Jan.
- We need to be on a plane in two hours.
- [Eleonore] That isn't going to happen.
- What's wrong with Daddy?
- [Eleonore] Sweetie.
Well, Dad was working out
and dropped a weight on his nose.
- [Patrick] Call Jan.
- [Melissa] Hold it there for the swelling.
- So they can straighten your nose.
- Are you a doctor or something?
A nurse.
[Patrick grumbling]
I'm okay, honey.
[water pouring down the sink]
Come here.
It'll be fine, honey.
- Do you want to do something fun?
- Mmm.
[laughs]
- [Daan] Yeah, you like it?
- [Louise] Yes.
[children shouting and playing]
[Daan] Here we are.
- [Louise] Is this one yours?
- [Daan] Yeah.
- Hey.
- [Daan] Hey.
[Louise] Oh
Cozy.
[Daan laughing]
Was that Anouk, from the Casino Club?
Yes.
Do you have a charger?
Uhm No, I don't have an iPhone.
Uh I have an idea, hold on.
[Alex sighing]
How do I look?
Nice, very nice.
But you're not my type.
- Here, put this on it.
- Thank you.
[Alex groans]
What happened?
[sighing] My dad hit me.
I swear, I could've ruined him.
But my mother saw us.
I don't know.
If you want a war with your dad,
you'd better brace yourself.
He'll destroy you. Show me?
This will hurt a bit.
What happened between you two?
You don't know?
No, I wasn't allowed to come here,
but he never told me why.
I went into business with him
25 years ago.
He said it couldn't go wrong.
He had me by the balls,
in every which way.
Here, hold this.
I lost everything.
- I didn't know.
- Well, now you know.
Your dad
is a narcissistic sociopath.
He's a threat for everything
and everyone around him.
Don't underestimate him.
I don't underestimate him, Jacques.
[calming music]
That's just the thing.
He underestimates me.
[woman moaning]
Is that Christine?
Yep.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
- I do want it back.
- Of course.
And? Hooked up with a rich girl yet?
Mmm I'm working on it.
- Thank you!
- [Daan] You're welcome.
[Daan exhales]
Are you two friends?
- No, just neighbors.
- Mmm.
Neighbors with benefits.
[laughing] No, no benefits.
- No?
- No.
But you did fuck her.
What? No.
[Louise] Mmm
Would you care?
[Daan laughing]
Do you want something to drink?
- Yes.
- Yeah?
But she did give you a blow job, right?
- [laughing] No, are you crazy?
- A little, yes.
Regular customer with a psychiatrist
since I was 12.
But in case you didn't know,
Anouk is world-famous for her blowjobs.
Oh
Okay. I didn't know that.
Yes, she works hard in the toilets
of the Casino Club.
And not as a cleaning lady.
[laughing] Okay.
Well, I've learned something new.
[beer can opening]
[calm music]
[mobile phone vibrating]
What the fuck?
I have 20 messages from Alex.
[Louise] What's this?
Fuck.
Me too.
"Where are you? Answer me.
I can't reach Daan, either. I'm leaving."
"Are you with Daan?"
"Fought with my dad."
Fuck.
- [phone beeping]
- "I'm coming over there."
- Did you tell him where we are?
- Yes.
- Why did you do that?!
- What?
What is he going to think?!
- I don't know, but he needs us.
- Daan, fuck!
[Daan] Louise
- We don't need an X-ray, it's broken.
- I thought so.
- [Jan] And you want to get on a plane?
- Definitely.
I once flew a plane
with two broken legs, Jan.
Right.
And who's coming with you?
- Master Zegers, Public Projects.
- Give him my regards.
Her.
It's a woman, Mirjam Zegers.
Of course. Nice lady.
Not really.
- [Eleonore] Yeah, I had no idea.
- [Angelique] He just wanted to be sure.
But if Zeger's coming,
he'll close the deal.
I'm not so sure.
Last time, he had a lot of trouble
in the Emirates.
Those Arabs always play hard ball.
But Patrick will find a solution.
- Mmm
- That's our guy.
- Are you okay, Eleonore?
- Yeah.
- How's Alex?
- Fine.
And Olivia?
Well, then you have it better than we do.
- All the stuff with Emilie's wedding
- Sorry, I need to make a phone call.
[phone ringing]
MOM CALLING
[voicemail] Alex Vandael. Leave a message.
[Eleonore sighing]
[upbeat music playing
on the radio]
[music becomes mellow]
[woman moaning]
[music stops]
- Hey.
- [Daan] Hey, man.
- [Louise] What are
- Careful.
- [Alex] Are you having fun?
- What?
What did you think? That I would be
in the hospital for a few days still?
- So you wanted to stay over?
- Of course not.
[Anouk] Are you coming
to help me, honey?
We still need to bake
a lot of sausages tonight.
Are you joining us for dinner, Alex?
- Yeah, sure.
- Been in another fight?
- Shit happens, Anouk.
- Sure. Let's go, babe.
- Thanks, that was brilliant.
- Yes, I know.
Are they together?
Nice, right?
[Louise] Let's go.
[Jan] Okay
- [Jan] Are you ready?
- [Patrick] No.
I'll count to three.
One, two
[Patrick shouting in pain]
He can't get on a plane
with a broken nose.
In your own plane
you can do what you want.
She's asleep.
- I'll be upstairs. Safe travels.
- Fine.
- Hello, I'm Angelique.
- Melissa.
The new nanny, of course.
- [Angelique] Did we meet in Natan's shop?
- [Melissa] Yes.
Alex, this is your mother. Call me back,
I'm really worried about you.
[Melissa] You looked great in that outfit.
You should have bought it.
[Louise] Music.
[upbeat music playing]
- Alex, here you go.
- Thanks, man.
Voilà.
How do I look?
[Anouk] Pretty sexy.
Do you want a sausage? You too?
- Yeah, fine.
- Yes.
[phone beeping]
[Patrick groaning]
[Patrick] Do I need
to keep those tampons in?
[Jan] I would keep them in
until you're in Dubai.
We might as well do this right now.
So, what's up with your neighbor?
Are you together?
- Yeah
- So, you've discovered her talent?
Is she good?
Pretty good, yeah.
- She can suck the sheets up your ass.
- What?
Well
[Alex imitating vacuum]
Ah, right.
[Daan] Alex, I thought I didn't like
pornographic sex.
But I sure do.
- You lucky bastard.
- What?
But, what
- So, molly is pure MDMA?
- No.
It's mixed with something else.
Gravel dust or something.
- Molly?
- Yes, pure MDMA is an illegal substance.
[Louise] Huh
- That's crazy.
- Nothing wrong with a bit of gravel.
Okay.
Molly for four.
It makes you incredibly horny.
- But it will take longer to come.
- For men?
I wish.
[Louise] Ah
You need to stop this, Patrick.
- Or at least scale back a bit.
- Just do it.
- I don't want you to get prostate cancer.
- I have that checked regularly.
The only side effects
are morning boners and random erections.
And I thank you for that.
- We're friends, you know.
- Yeah, exactly.
You really don't need the testosterone.
I can't stop right now. Really.
No way.
The business
- Hand me that shirt.
- You have a successor, right?
Isn't your son taking over in a few years?
[Patrick sighing]
Business families are made up
of three generations.
You have the builders,
the ones that inherit it and
The ones that ruin it.
But that's not true.
Alexandre can't do it.
Really. He thinks he can, but he can't.
I'm sure Louise would love to hear that.
I have to go. Thank you very much.
- And your bank account?
- All my accounts. The first thing he did.
What an asshole.
Why did he freak out like that?
I confronted him with the fact
he's cheating on my mom, again.
- With one of her best friends.
- With my mom?
- Jesus.
- [Alex] No, not with your mom.
- With Christine.
- [Anouk] Who?
- Margaux' mom.
- And who's Margaux?
My best friend.
Typical.
To the Crazy Lulu.
[Louise] Hey
Come on, you'll think of something.
Right?
You always think of something.
"Yes, Louise. I'll think of something."
- Am I your ventriloquist dummy now?
- [Louise laughing]
To the Crazy Lulle.
- Lulu.
- That name won't stick.
Clear your mouth first. The Crazy Lulu.
Lulu.
To the Crazy Lulu.
[calming music]
Aah!
[everybody laughing]
- Am I human?
- Yes.
- [Daan] No. Not really.
- Yes!
Are we a couple?
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Am I a man?
- Yes.
- Am I old?
- Yes.
[music continues]
[laughs]
- What is on my card?
- [Alex] Nothing.
[music ends]
[Patrick] Come on, darling.
Mirjam and her slave are already here.
- What are you doing?
- What do you think?
Come on.
He's just angry and stubborn.
Is that all you can say?
Come on.
You know what? Just go alone.
- Hey, don't be ridiculous.
- I'm not coming.
You can go alone.
[car door closing]
[woman] Hello, Mr. Vandael.
[Alex] Isn't that the Big Dipper?
- [Louise] There?
- [Alex] Yeah.
- [everybody] Yes!
- There it is.
[Louise] I know where the North Star is.
[Alex] It's not there yet.
[Alex sighing]
Guys
- Guys.
- Mmm.
- [Louise] Hey
- I have an amazing idea.
[suspenseful music playing]
Alex, I don't think we are moving.
- I don't think so.
- I do.
[Alex] Oh, shit.
You're right.
[Louise laughing]
[Daan] Come on, hit the gas pedal.
[Louise] Hey!
Alex, not so fast. Not so fast!
- [Daan] Well, well. This is your house?
- [Alex] Yes.
- [Daan] No, don't.
- [Alex] What?
He needs to think it's a burglary, right?
[Daan] If you do it now,
the police will come. Do it later.
[Alex] What do we do now then?
- [Daan] You have a key?
- [Alex] Of course.
- So use it.
- I don't know.
It needs something more.
- [door barging]
- [Alex] Shh! Hey!
[Melissa] Mmm-hmm.
[heavy breathing]
[Alex, whispering] This is his beauty.
He likes it more than my mom.
[Alex] There's more over here.
- You get those boxes?
- [Daan] Yeah.
COPYING 2 ITEMS
[music climaxes]
KNOKKE'S CUNNING LINGUIS
[Alex] Let's go.
It's taking a long time.
Daan is a cutie.
Mmm-hmm.
Louise, what time is it?
No idea.
- Do you think the police caught them?
- No, we would've seen that.
- Really?
- Yes.
Blue lights, and everything.
Yeah.
Hey.
Hey.
[laughs]
- We need to go to the front.
- Why?
We're the getaway drivers.
- Thelma and Louise.
- Yes.
Okay.
- Which one is Louise?
- I am
- I'm Thelma.
- Then I'll be Louise.
[laughs]
- [Alex] I have something upstairs.
- [Daan] What?
[Alex] Something upstairs.
- [Daan] We need to go upstairs?
- Yes.
[Daan] Okay.
[Alex] Shh!
[Daan] The stairs are moving.
[Alex] Come.
[Alex] That's it.
- [Daan] Do you have a cat?
- [Alex] No, we don't.
[Alex] Shit. Here, take it.
Fuck! Hide, hide.
[Daan] Alex. Alex!
Thelma behind the wheel.
Me?
Me?
- You're Louise.
- Yes?
Yes.
[Alex] Shit, I have to pee.
- Now?
- Yes, wait. I'm coming.
[Melissa screams]
- [Alex] Don't be afraid.
- [Daan] We won't hurt you.
- [Melissa] Daan?
- [Daan] No.
- No.
- Come. Go, go!
[Alex] What the fuck was that?
Did she know you?
- Of course she did.
- How can that be?
- It's my mom.
- Your mom?
[Alex] Go, go, go!
- What the fuck, man?
- [Daan] Alex!
It's broken.
Daan broke it.
- You broke it.
- [Alex] Go, go, go!
[everybody cheering]
[Alex] Left, left! Stop, stop, stop!
- This is ours.
- [Louise] What?
This is ours.
The Crazy fucking Lulu, boys.
COMMERCIAL PROPERTY FOR REN
[Louise screaming]
[Alex] Crazy Lulu! Come on!
[waves splashing]
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