Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight (2022) s03e04 Episode Script

The English Opening

[exclaiming, grunting]
[serene music plays]
I can't believe we're here.
[sighs] The two of us, together again.
You're telling me.
Oh, such an adventure.
Possessed by the spirit
of an ancient mastodon.
[yawning] Almost murdered by my ex.
Gotta find my son, save the world,
and protect the crate. [sighs sleepily]
- [mysterious music plays]
- [Mr. Ping snores]
[ominous music plays]
[thrilling music plays]
[stirring music plays]
[Colin inhales deeply] Ah, England.
It's good to be home.
And all the better with you in chains.
You traveled halfway across the world
to escape your crimes,
all to end up right back here.
Couldn't outrun me forever.
Couldn't she?
If I'm not mistaken,
you called us for help, Connor.
I-I-It's Colin, and to be fair,
she had accomplices.
[low music plays]
[Drake scoffs]
First off, so cool to be here in England,
the land of Blade!
Second, I, for one, would really love
to not spend our time here in jail.
We're not! But the knights
didn't know of Alfie's mission,
so until we find out who did,
we must stick together.
[menacing music plays]
We're short a knight on the pull team.
- You'll take the post, Connick.
- [groans]
It's Calvin. [grunts angrily] Colin!
Separate them!
She rides with me.
[in unison] I'll handle this.
- [chuckles] Jinx!
- No, Po, I'll handle
- We got this.
- [groans]
[menacing music plays]
Luthera, if you truly care about England,
then you understand
those weapons must be in my possession.
Alfie didn't think so.
He knew they needed to be destroyed.
he always liked you,
and he'd be proud to know
you've taken up his mantle.
That's all I'm trying to do,
and I could use your help.
[suspenseful music plays]
[groans] What?
Can we stop for a little bathroom break?
But I really gotta go!
My doctor says I have a weak bladder,
and it's bad not to listen
when my body's talking.
Well, tell your body to hold it.
- Yoink!
- [grunts]
Oi, you hear something?
What's that? [exclaims]
- [thumping]
- [yelping]
[suspenseful music plays]
I thought Blade had this handled.
We're both working our angles.
We have an unspoken understanding.
So I said, "I'm not
a freaking mad scientist, okay?"
- "I'm a regular, nice person."
- [groans]
And she said,
"We're here on a mission and junk!"
You know you do have
the right to remain silent?
- I said, "Oh! You must be Alfie's sister."
- [exclaims]
And she said, "Yep!"
Uh, hello? Where did everyone go?
[Po] Right here.
[majestic music plays]
You ready to get busy?
Let's boogie.
Sir Drake,
you could hold the key
to saving England and the entire world.
I just need to piece together
Alfie's last days.
Where he went, who he spoke with
- If you truly
- [clattering]
[laughs triumphantly] I got you, Blade!
Po, what are you doing? I said I had this!
Betrayal! I should have known!
- [growls]
- Now, Akna! Now!
[exclaims, grunts]
[suspenseful music plays]
[Drake yells angrily]
- [chuckles]
- [growls]
[gulps, grunts]
Take over, will you, Colin?
- Huh?
- [suspenseful music plays]
[groaning, exclaiming]
- [gasps]
- [yells]
- [clattering]
- [exclaiming]
- [exclaims]
- [dramatic music plays]
Now who's locked up, huh?
- [yelps]
- [groans]
[knight groans]
You saw them behind me, right?
No, I didn't!
Po, I was this close to
finding out what happened to Alfie,
and then you Oh!
- Time to jump!
- [exclaims]
No, no, no!
- [crashing]
- [groaning]
Don't mess with the Dragon Knights!
[groans] Drake was about to tell me
of Alfie's last days.
That could have been
the key to destroying the weapons.
Now he'll never trust us.
Oh yeah.
I took a way different approach.
[chuckles nervously]
We're in my country now.
Let me point out the shortcuts.
Totes. Lead away, oh, leader.
- Where are you leading? Can I help?
- [groans]
[serene music plays]
We know Alfie wasn't in Tikal
on a mission for the knights.
So there's only one person who
could have dispatched the Master of War.
- [dramatic music plays]
- I need to speak with the Queen.
- [gasps]
- [mellow music plays]
Hey, weird question, but, uh,
are you guys, like, good at this stuff?
Kinda feels like things are always going,
uh, really, really wrong.
Yeah, this is pretty much
how it's been since I joined up.
- Wait, you weren't around from the start?
- No, no.
I was trapped
in a walking city of rock for 30 years
with a bunch of people I made out of moss.
Okay, I got a plan.
We construct a giant wooden teapot,
and we cram in there
and hide inside for a few days until
[shushes] Look!
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
Today's the Chess Invitational!
It's the one day a year the Queen plays
and defeats England's best chess players.
The gates to the palace are open,
if you're registered to play.
If "chass" is anything like Go,
I got eight tickets to Queen-town
right here. [chuckles]
It's nothing like Go.
I'm sure I'll pick it up quick. [exclaims]
We tried things your way.
Now it's my turn.
I'll be the chess player,
you'll be my silent entourage.
- Oh.
- [Blade] Emphasis on the "silent" part.
Since we're not registered,
we'll need a distraction to get in.
[Blade] Something big.
I usually go huge,
but I could tone it down a bit.
One flying carriage coming up.
I've been coming to
these chess tournaments for 14 years,
and my favorite part about them
is that nothing ever, ever goes wrong.
Hey, stop! That's my carriage!
No! It was a lease.
[suspenseful music plays]
Wow, royal armor!
Ooh! Royal lint!
[gasps] Is that her?
[Po] When do we get to meet her?
The Queen should be in her chambers,
preparing for the first match.
Come on!
[tense music plays]
This is your fault!
I told you they were slippery.
Address me like that again,
and you'll be back to mucking the stables.
[door creaks open]
- Finally, a bathroom attendant.
- [growls] Bathroom attendant?
How dare you?
- [yelps]
- Be calm! Let's just blend in.
Blend in? Okay.
How am I gonna blend in? Blend in? [gasps]
Tea? Tea, anyone?
[shushes] Not like that!
Well, I'm just doing
everything wrong today, aren
[Po grunts] Teacup!
- [Po] Ow, heavens! [yelps]
- This is what I'm talking about!
Huh? Stop them!
[fast-paced music plays]
- [fast-paced music plays]
- Come on, this way!
We'll lose them in here! Go!
Whoa, oh.
[dramatic music plays]
Where's Po?
- [knocking]
- [gasping]
What are you standing around for?
Go after the panda!
Open this door!
- [dramatic music plays]
- [panting]
There's been a mistake!
I'm a chass player!
I'm just here for chass.
[triumphant music plays]
[grunting, groaning]
Uh, teacup!
Time out, time out! [yelping]
[dramatic music plays]
[female voice] Sir?
You, quivering at the door?
[soft music plays]
Are you my next opponent?
[spluttering] I, uh I'm actually
I'm the entourage. The silent, uh
Because the player
you're supposed to play Uh
Is me.
I, I, I am the chass player.
- [thumping]
- [exclaiming]
Quick! Block the door!
[dramatic music plays]
- [Drake yells]
- [thumping]
[grunts] We need more.
Grab whatever you can.
[exhilarating music plays]
You're only making this
harder on yourselves!
Sir, we've built a battering ram.
That looks like my bed post.
Um, well, it was Colin's idea, sir.
I have heard
you have never lost a game. [chuckles]
You must be quite the player,
Your Greatest ness.
I suppose
you're about to find out, Mr., uh
Po Seph! Poseph, mm, Dewbottom.
Well, Poseph, it's your move.
Uh, of course! [chuckles]
Love going first,
so many options to choose from.
I think I'll just
Do this?
An unusual opening, Mr. Dewbottom.
[suspenseful music plays]
And a foolish one.
Here comes the horsie!
- [neighs]
- [lively music plays]
[Po] I love chass.
[Drake groans]
Guessing we don't have a plan?
I do too have a plan. It's
[atmospheric music plays]
Uh, hide!
- [dramatic music plays]
- Aha!
[grunts softly]
[chuckles] Nice move, I think.
Who goes there? [laughs]
Make way for the pointy-hat man!
You had an old co-worker, Alfie?
Uh, Sir Alfred, right?
He was my Master of War, a hero.
Well, in addition to being
a world-class chass player,
I'm kind of on a mission
to complete his mission.
And what mission would that be?
[Po] The one that sent him to find
The Tianshang Weapons.
Never heard of them.
I believe you have.
Except that I haven't.
You didn't, like,
send him across the world
to find a wheel with lightning powers?
The last mission I sent him on
was to aid the village of Festermouth.
Though he did act quite strange
upon his return.
How so?
Asked for a vacation.
[Po] A vacation?
He was gone for ages.
[Po] And when he came back?
the Queen has climbed the castle!
[queen] And she just shot an arrow
at your giant carrot! [laughs]
[male voice] Oi, find that panda!
[male voice 2] Where did he go?
[suspenseful music plays]
You don't play like everyone else.
[spluttering] I can explain.
But I'm undefeated.
Now, I suppose you won't be leaving
through the front door.
- [gulps]
- [intriguing music plays]
I know you're in here.
No point in dragging this out.
I've got guards at every door.
[music chimes]
I will always be one step ahead.
[atmospheric music plays]
[suspenseful music plays]
Secret exit's this way.
What about the Queen?
Who do you think told me
about the secret exit?
You spoke to the Queen of England?
She got away.
No. Again? But sir, how, eh?
- [snickers]
- As you said, she had accomplices.
So, me and the Queen are playing chass,
and we've kinda become besties,
and then she starts telling me
about Alfie's secret mission,
and then she said Alfie was acting weird,
took a long vacation.
Sound familiar?
That must have been when he went to Tikal,
which means whoever
or whatever sent him after the weapons
was in Festermouth.
Whoa, sorry.
Did you say
this place is called Fester-mouth?
Muth. Muth!
This could be
the key to destroying the weapons!
Maybe you're not all
terrible at this stuff.
Just deeply unlucky,
and possibly addicted to drama.
Po, perhaps when I said
we had to do things my way
Oh, we should.
I, I do not understand this place at all.
Although the Queen did say
I'm a genius with incredible instincts.
She did?
It was unspoken.
- [dramatic music plays]
- The weapons!
- Phew!
- [Forouzan] Good morning.
Oh yes. [chuckles] Good morning!
Uh, how much further to England?
We're not going to England.
Huh? What?
I have to find my son!
We have to take these
We don't have to do anything.
[Forouzan] You were my unfinished business
before I could retire.
So you can find your own way to England,
Soul Reaper,
because I'm home.
[dramatic music plays]
[whistling, chirping]
[rhythmic music plays]
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