Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight (2022) s03e06 Episode Script

Tea Time Trouble

With the north-facing light,
I'm gonna want my condo
right about here.
Forouzan, listen to me.
We need to be in England by the new moon!
Not my problem.
I'm retired, starting right now.
Forouzan, get up!
We have to go!
That ship looks packed with supplies.
We finally feast!
My bones!
Those weasels really did a number on me.
No matter. Hoist me up, fellas.
Tonight, we feast!
Basil, raiding music in D minor.
But my son!
Nope. Retired.
You leave me no choice.
I'm commandeering your ship.
Sure you are.
Oh no! The weapons!
Get that one!
Hey! I'm the Pirate Queen!
You don't pirate me!
Reaper, let's get 'em!
I've gotta hide these weapons.
Are you seriously abandoning me again?
Hold them off, Alice!
Is that food?
Over there!
They've got
something extra special in that chest!
After them!
"We left the bog with a new goal:
follow Alfie's path to the Ancient City."
Anciempt Cit-g? Ah, dang!
Really tough to walk and write
at the same time.
So, we need to find Alfie's journal?
That seems kinda personal. I don't know.
What's the ethical thing to do here?
Wrong person to ask.
Okay, let me check. Just play it cool.
Yo, Blade.
Think your mom's got any British snacks?
I like to taste every place I visit.
Get a feel for the people.
Him too.
I think it's best you all wait outside.
No, no, no.
You know, like, everything about my dad.
I gotta meet your mom!
My mother,
Lady Lucinda of Landreth,
is manipulative, cruel,
and picks apart every little thing you do
that isn't "proper"
until you burst into tears in front of
everyone at Lady Dandruff's ball!
Lady Dan
Okay, now I gotta meet Lady Dandruff!
No one is meeting anyone.
Fine by me. She sounds pretty intense.
Here it is. House Landreth.
It's huge!
And I say that
as someone who lived in a volcano.
You never told us you were loaded.
What Wait, w-what is she?
Wait here. I'll just be a moment.
What are you doing up so late?
How did you get past Mother?
I just did what you taught me.
It's good to
We do have a front door.
Not that you ever use it.
I I didn't want to disturb.
Just a quick stop. Then I'll be on my way.
A good British morning to you, my liege!
Proper enough for ya?
Ignore him. I do.
Oh! Uh, hello, Mrs. Alfie's Mom.
Mum, my friends. Friends, Lady Lucinda.
Look, I know you'd prefer it
if I'd sent a letter,
stayed for tea, done things "properly,"
but we're on a pressing mission, and I
You brought guests!
Who were supposed to wait outside.
Oh, I'm so glad she finally managed
to make some real friends.
You all must stay for tea and biscuits.
Is that a British snack?
I have a fresh batch in the oven.
Come, come!
So, these biscuits,
do they come in different sizes, or is it
Aw. She actually seems really sweet.
Yeah. We'll see.
Set those here and there, Luthera,
and do remember
to smooth the tablecloth after.
You always forget.
I do not.
And what is it you do?
Uh, I make giant bugs!
So many tiny cakes. And the colors!
- And everything is stacked really high!
- It's like a little cake city!
I hope it will be to your liking.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow!
What is happening?
That would be the lemon curd.
The lemon curd?
How could a word so disgusting
taste so good?
Ah. What a healthy appetite.
Thank you, Lady Mom.
Look at her, gawking.
I suppose "proper"
only matters when it's me.
A lady never gawks, Luthera.
She simply appreciates a guest
who says "please" and "thank you"
like a good little gentleman.
Once a Little Mister Plum Blossom,
always a Little Mister Plum Blossom.
Do you have children, madam?
Her name is Rukh-Minnie,
because she is miniature.
Charming. And you?
Giant bugs!
Why do I keep saying that so loud?
Oh. Children can be the greatest joy.
Oh, Alfie.
My eldest.
Despite his work as Master of War,
despite all the missions,
I never had to ask him to visit me.
Well, we can't all be Alfie.
I don't want you to be like Alfie.
And we can't all be you.
Having manners is a universal virtue,
even if you'd rather pretend to be
some kind of warrior.
- More tea?
- I can pour my own.
You always spill.
Maybe when I was five!
Okay. Very well, then.
Let's see what you've retained,
if anything.
If you pour from that high,
you'll splash!
The tea needs to cool as it flows.
- You'll spill.
- I won't!
- Gentle movement!
- I know how!
I don't think this is about tea.
You really are a scientist.
If you're going to stir, stir properly.
I know how to stir!
No you don't. Stirring is to cool the tea.
- Stirring's for sugar!
- Stirring's for both!
- Stirring's for both!
- Don't be uncouth!
I am extremely couth!
- Ha!
- The couthiest.
- Don't hit the side of the teacup.
- Don't tell me what to do!
Who cares?!
I hate this,
and I've always hated it.
I'll just go pop in
another batch of scones.
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
I'm glad we never fight.
Oh, hello.
Did you kill them all yet?
I was outnumbered because you ran away.
So typical.
At least I'm fighting for something,
and not hiding out on some island.
W-W-What was that?
Fighting, huh?
That's right.
And the first step to fighting
is staying alive.
You and your stupid luck.
Do you need a hand?
Your hands are full of crumpets.
Hands free.
Whoa. That's a lot of gold.
Each trophy represents
Alfie's accomplishments
on his path to leading the knights.
"Certification of Battle Axe Mastery."
If I know Alfie,
his journal is somewhere in this room.
What's that one?
Spelling bee.
From primary school.
So, not to pry
Like a pry guy
My mother?
- Yeah. What's up with you two?
- Just what it's always been.
She had her knight in Alfie,
so she wanted me to be her little lady.
A perfect copy of herself.
I'm a disappointment.
Your mom just needs
a chance to see you the way we do.
It would have been so easy
to be jealous of him,
but Alfie made that impossible.
Mum never believed in me,
but Alfie always did.
Hey, big bro.
Where do you hide your bro-secrets?
When I was a kid,
he used to keep swords on the high shelf,
so I couldn't steal them.
On a high shelf?
Alfie's journal.
Look, there's the gauntlet!
And that looks like the Storm Wheel!
There! The Ancient Gateway.
This must be the symbol
that marks the Ancient City.
We found it.
Boom! Journal achieved.
Bump it!
So, Diya and I
convinced a group of orphans
to stack on top of each other
in an extra-long kurta
to distract some palace guards.
They were arrested immediately.
We have everything we need.
We can continue on our way.
So soon?
we could stay
and have one more cup of tea?
And I can tell Lady Mom all about
how cool you've been on our adventures.
I could allow you
to pour your tea yourself, of course.
- Huh? Huh?
- Hm.
Perhaps just a little longer.
Luthera of Landreth!
Surrender yourself!
Come quietly
and we may spare your friends.
Spare? Are we,
are we planning to kill them, sir?
Shut it, Kevin.
Lulu, what's happening?
What have you done now?
It's Drake. He must have followed us here.
Ugh, hate that guy.
Sir Drake?
Why is the Master of War after you?
There's no time to explain,
but I'll make this right.
Turn yourselves in
before this gets any worse.
You don't understand.
You have one minute
to come outside or we ram down the door.
Surely there's no need for that.
They're coming. One moment.
Prepare for battle.
You two.
Cut down the biggest tree on the property.
We're going in.
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
Breaking into a noble family's home?
Sir, we can't
Luthera is reasonable. We can negotiate.
When we breach House Landreth,
you will wait outside.
Move a hair from this position,
and I will take your other eye.
Is that clear, Calvin?
Crystal, sir.
Oh no! Not Alfie's trophies!
It's like a whip, but meaner.
He would understand.
Oh, do be careful.
Yes! You got the d You got the a
Cool, okay. What do I get?
Aw, man.
They're England's army, Luthera.
You can't win.
Watch me.
My house!
Ha ha!
Ooh, that's hot, huh?
Is that better?
Taste my rage!
Spelling-bee trophy attack,
bringing the pain!
That's P-A, uh, I-N. Pain!
Is that Alfie's sword?
I fight with the blade
belonging to the Master of War.
Ha! Reinforcements.
You'll be overwhelmed in minutes.
To me.
- Hey Colin!
- How's it going?
Later, dude.
You're better than them, Colin.
You! Corbin! Where did they go?
Why are you just standing there?
I was ordered not to move, sir.
You absolutely worthless,
You will regret this.
Search everywhere.
I want them found and brought to me.
That was the second worst tea party
I ever went to.
Anyone else hungry?
Are you ever not hungry?
Hey. She'll come around.
I don't need her to. I only need this.
Why do you care about
these weapons so much?
Oh, well,
you know how I like to accessorize.
Move me faster.
Nowhere to run this time.
Over here!
- This way!
- Close in!
Come on, then! Climb!
You and your stupid luck.
What are you going to do?
I think we got them cornered!
Follow me!
- Where did they go?
- I thought they were right here?
Maybe they went this way.
Yeah, maybe.
Basil, give us some "this way" music!
You're welcome.
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