Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight (2022) s03e07 Episode Script

Benny and the Jests

[exclaiming, grunting]
[soft music plays]
Klaus wants the weapons.
He'll steal them the first chance he gets,
then leave us for [croaks]
He literally just rescued us.
I don't want the bloody weapons.
[gasps] Oh, yeah.
Then why did you rescue us, huh?
[blows raspberry]
[sighs] I returned here with seeds.
Food my people could grow on their own,
instead of waiting for
the next shipwreck to plunder.
But they didn't want my help.
[Klaus] They only want their helmet back.
Those weapons took everything from me.
So the only thing I want
is you and that crate off this island.
- [suspenseful music plays]
- Hm.
[atmospheric music plays]
- [atmospheric music plays]
- [horse whinnies]
[Blade] Symbol, symbol, where are you?
Hello, London!
[in British accent] Pip-pip
and a cheerio to you, ma'am.
Ah, teatime already? [laughs]
[lively music plays]
- [sighs contentedly, exclaims]
- Look out, you nitwit!
- And a good day to you, ma'am.
- Stop doing that, and put your arm down.
For all we know,
there could be knights here hunting us.
Oh, let them come. [chuckles]
Symbol, symbol, symbol Yes!
Wait, no.
Here, symbol, symbol, symbol
Oh no, wait. I think that's just a stain.
[Blade] Perhaps Alfie?
No, that's not right.
[groans] We're never gonna find it.
Hm. Could be?
[sighs] No.
Oh no. Stain again.
Okay, okay,
looking for a little circle thing in it,
with, like, a little line thing in it.
- [gasps]
- [grunting, laughing]
Ooh. I love this thing.
I feel rich and dangerous,
but mostly rich.
- What happened to your creepy doll?
- Rukh-minnie?
Threw her in the trash bin.
I'm not carrying two things around.
That's too many things. [grunts]
- So, any luck?
- This symbol is the answer.
[suspenseful music plays]
And we're so close
to finishing our mission.
Oh. Yeah, I guess we kinda are.
Tomorrow's the new moon,
my dad'll get here,
we'll destroy the weapons, and then
- World's saved.
- [emotional music plays]
Mission over.
[sighs] No need
for the Dragon Knights anymore.
- [laughing]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey.
Okay. No sign of
that weird symbol from above.
So what? Are we supposed to check
every inch of everything, everywhere?
Leave no cobblestone unturned!
[grunting, straining]
Really in there.
We need someone
who knows this city inside and out.
Someone who's seen
every nook, cranny, and secret.
Bloodthirsty thieves?
An underground gang
of opportunistic orphans?
Someone who doesn't bite their nails
and can get a really good grip on things?
[gasps] Much better than all that.
[dramatic music plays]
Gather round, and be impressed!
Behold, the amazing Jest Pests!
[exclaims, groans]
This is our guy?
[blows raspberry]
The Jest Pests have played
every inch of this city
since I was a little girl.
They'll know where to find that symbol.
Plus, they're really funny. [laughs]
Right Right, right.
But, like, uh,
where are the other Jest Pests?
Why, you scoundrel.
[imitating female voice] No, you are.
[exclaims, groans]
Mm. You know, I love the arts, but, uh
Excuse me.
Oh no.
You're one of them, aren't you?
Look, I'm good for the money.
Just hit me anywhere but the face.
W-What? We're not going to hit you.
Well, let's not rule that out.
We need your help.
Where's the rest of your crew?
- Twiggy Tom? Balding Bryan? Sassy Susan?
- [laughs] Wow, you really are a fan.
Those traitors left me.
"Benny, we want to see the world."
"Benny, stop hitting us with your clubs."
And then they abandoned me!
[sighs] So much for a crew.
They abandoned you?
Left you alone and friendless
with nothing but your sad, dark thoughts?
Uh, did I say that out loud?
I'm sorry about your show,
but we need your help.
Have you seen this symbol?
[intriguing music plays]
Oh! Distinctively swirly.
Ah, intriguing to the palate.
Ah, yes!
Follow me.
Not sure I trust a guy
who hits himself for a living.
I'm afraid he's all we've got.
[serene music plays]
This has to be a trap.
And you led me right to his doorstep.
For all we know, he's gonna eat us.
I would rather eat my own foot.
See? He has a taste for flesh.
Lighten up! He hasn't tried to kill us.
- [guitar music playing]
- [Kyle] I-Is there food?
Food? What about that wood there?
Does that look edible?
Try it. Just try it.
[sighs] Back to their old ways.
I'll create a distraction,
you get the weapons off the island.
Do not let them see that helmet.
What's so great about this helmet?
[splutters] Nothing important. [laughs]
Just very warm on a cold night.
It has wind magic.
Hm. Interesting.
If the weapons are so powerful,
why don't we just
blow those fools off the island?
Because they're my people.
And don't underestimate them.
They're desperate.
[suspenseful music plays]
Oh, sorry. Wrong house.
So, um, once we find this symbol,
that means we find the Ancient City,
then we destroy the weapons,
and then it's game over?
- The final round? The grand finale?
- [sighs]
The big finish? The final countdown?
- The endgame?
- That's the plan.
- [percussive music plays]
- Come on.
Feels like it's all wrapping up so fast.
- Weird, right?
- [shushing]
There. That's it.
Up here. Come on.
Quick Q: if this place is under the city,
why are we heading up?
Hear ye, hear ye!
The Jest Pests are back,
and my new team is ready to put on a show!
[onlooker] A show!
- [onlooker 2] Gather all!
- Jesters!
No! What? Where's the symbol?
Look, I need a team.
My act is garbage when I'm on my own.
Are you ready to see
a talented and good-looking crew?
- Yes!
- Finally!
Same. Lemme know when you find one.
- [grunting]
- [crowd laughs]
Well, this is fully ruined for me.
Hey, they love us.
Maybe this'll be fun [yells]
Behold, a living carriage!
- [laughing]
- Look how dumb that guy looks.
Ow! My soft fontanelle!
- [laughing]
- [grunting]
Thank you!
That's just a taste of our full show,
which is happening in ten minutes,
so come on back.
- [grunting]
- [crowd laughs]
- [ominous music plays]
- [croaks]
[gasping, exclaiming]
That's the best show I've had in months!
We should get matching hats! Or vests!
[gasps] Jest vests!
Do you actually know where the symbol is
or do I need to end you?
[grunts] I do.
Uh, that symbol is painted on
something we all have but will never see.
No more games. Take us there, now.
Okay, okay.
- [ominous music plays]
- Time to pay up, Benny.
Boss loaned you
a lot of money for those clubs.
Sounds like you owe them, bud.
Right, right. I'll just pay them
and then we can be on our
- Way!
- [croaks]
[fast-paced music plays]
We need that symbol.
Oh, how uncouth.
[panting, exclaiming]
[ominous music plays]
Any last words?
[gasping] I regret nothing.
Hey, hey, hey,
how about we all chill for a sec?
Or not.
Oh good.
I've been wanting to hit something.
Hey! The little guy is ours.
- [scraping]
- [dramatic music plays]
Behind you!
Hey, get back here!
Nicely done. This way!
Huh. Probably another trick!
[atmospheric music plays]
Why is it always skeletons?
[wind whistles]
No food to eat, just cold defeat ♪
Little C chord there.
Once I was dreaming
Now I wake up screaming ♪
And I'm not okay ♪
[Klaus] Lovely song, that.
W-W-Whoa. Over there. [gasps]
[suspenseful music plays]
- [menacing music plays]
- [screaming]
[screaming, grunting]
Ah! Ow! [gasps]
Branches of agony.
You! Stay away!
I-I-I want to make amends, Kyle.
You threw me off a flying ship.
I was legally dead for 13 minutes.
Technically, that was my sister.
Mages, attack!
[groaning, straining]
Give us the helmet!
I don't have it!
Liar! Where's your sister?
Hiding, ready to attack?
[scoffs] She left me for dead
without a second thought.
Just like you!
[Klaus] I want to help you.
I've traveled far, and brought plants.
They'll bear fruit soon.
- [Klaus] Maize, and bananas
- You have food?
Oh, more than you can eat.
[guitar music plays]
Then let us feast!
Bana-na na na ♪
"walking to the feast" music please.
- [Kyle sings indistinctly]
- Hm?
You know, this would go a lot quicker
if we took the weapons out,
and ditched this heavy crate.
[scoffs] I don't think so.
You don't trust me?
- [exclaims]
- Unbelievable!
[Mr. Ping exclaims]
My son asked me to keep them safe!
- You're the one who betrayed me.
- [exclaims]
- [Mr. Ping] It's not about you.
- Let's pick up the pace.
- Nigel, carry me!
- [Forouzan] stolen them in your sleep.
- My son asked me to keep them safe!
- [Kyle] My helmet!
You lied.
Go, go!
Well, if you're so mad at me,
why are you helping me then, huh?
- Huh?
- Because I love you, you idiot!
[gasps] You You do?
[exclaiming, grunting]
Stop it!
The helmet will only bring you pain!
- Tavolara Twist?
- Obviously.
We've still got it, my love.
What's the plan, huh?
[Klaus] One day,
you'll run out of ships to pillage.
You'll just end up starving again!
Maybe he's right.
- I do like farming.
- I miss food.
Never! I want that helmet!
[dramatic music plays]
No! They got the weapons!
After them, you fools!
[fast-paced music plays]
The crate!
[dramatic music plays]
[Mr. Ping gasps]
[panting] Yes! I did it! We're saved!
[dramatic music plays]
[gasps] We're doomed! I failed my son!
Not yet!
[dramatic music plays]
- [Forouzan] Yes! I am loving this.
- [yelps]
So, how about we take these to England?
Uh Wha Y-You still want to help me?
Even though I've been so, uh
We'll just have to trust each other.
- [soft music plays]
- [splutters] Oh
[stirring music plays]
Could have had a brand-new dawn
Now all hope is gone ♪
All hope is not gone.
In a few weeks, we'll be making
banana pancakes with chocolate chips!
What's chocolate?
- [chittering]
- [tense music plays]
Benny! No more running!
[grunts, laughs]
I was just coming to get you all. [yelps]
You tell us where that symbol is now,
or I'm gonna bonk you into oblivion!
Okay, okay. I'm sorry!
I just wanted a team.
You know, I learned a big lesson today.
Even if when the mission is over,
that means we're over,
and I end up alone
and sad and pathetic and
Po, what on Earth are you talking about?
The only thing over will be the mission.
[emotional music plays]
- Have you been spinning out about this?
- I thought you just had gas.
[chuckling] All right,
I feel a little silly now.
And yes, I did have a little gas.
Where is that symbol?
Oh, why didn't you ask in the first place?
This way.
Uh, a skull is generally
a good omen, right?
[tense music plays]
So, you lot are up to
some creepy stuff, eh?
How did you even find this?
And who else knows it's here?
Oh, just me.
You get really familiar with hiding places
when you owe money all over town.
Oh, that's nasty.
[clicking, rumbling]
[dramatic music plays]
This is it!
The Ancient Gateway
to the city of Tianshang.
Nope. Skeleton poking was my limit.
Good luck!
Well, I'm not going first.
[mystical music plays]
- [clattering, approaching footsteps]
- Benny, I thought you said
Oh, you're not Benny.
[suspenseful music plays]
[rhythmic music plays]
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