Life & Beth (2022) s01e09 Episode Script


1 I will not, for any reason, yell at anybody today.
I will stay calm today.
All day.
Ah! Oh, shit! Jesus Christ! Just popping up out of no damn where looking like a Karen.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I really need something for my back pain.
You know I'm not a drug dealer, right? - Take an Aleve.
- I can barely walk.
Then don't walk.
I'm not yelling today.
Now could you move? Oh, you know I wouldn't ask if I didn't really need something.
Oh, my goodness, Beth, uh, listen.
It's just it's just my lower back, but it, like, wraps around, you know? - I don't have time for this.
- What up, bro? Hey, brother, look, um, I'm gonna need a refill on my Dilaudid.
I told you yesterday in a very calm, very cool manner that if I have a prescription for you, I'll fill it.
Shit, come on, man, come on.
It's cool.
I got you, dawg.
I I get it.
I got it.
I got it.
You want to be like these people? You need to take your ass to the doctor.
I went to the doctor.
They he wants me to get an MRI.
- And there you go.
- I'm going.
I'm going today.
- Great.
- Great.
Wait, what did we decide about you giving me pain meds? Okay.
This is a edible from my own personal collection.
- Take that.
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, my God, it's a gummy - Don't open it out here.
- I'm sorry.
- You wanna get me fired? No, of course not.
Okay, thank you.
You are getting on my damn nerves and-and get on some damn birth control.
- Okay.
- Damn.
My man, brother, come on.
I-I I don't have a prescription for you, and you know it, Mr.
Pederson! Dammit! I yelled.
Is everybody happy? I yelled.
Damn! I'm not happy.
Oh, hell, Douyon, get the hell out of my face, man.
I just wanna go to work.
Hey, bro, come on.
LAVAR: Damn, leave me alone.
Uh, have you had an MRI before? - No.
- Oh, boy.
What? Uh, no, it's nothing.
It's just that this-this is my first one without an instructor.
That's why it's free.
Are you claustrophobic? - Like, a little.
- Oh, God.
Um, no, it's fine.
That's, uh that's fine.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Just don't move when you're in there, okay? Just don't move.
And-and when you breathe, also, like, don't move.
And-and if you aren't fine, then this is a panic button that you can press.
But please, uh, don't.
I mean, obviously, if-if you're panicking, then press it, but don't you-you won't you won't need it.
You won't need it.
You you'll be fine.
Yeah? Okay.
Do you have any pre-existing conditions? I'm a woman.
A woman.
Uh, just a few more questions.
I can just save you some time.
I've had over 30,000 drinks.
I don't really chew my food enough, and I took Plan B recently.
Kinda got two uses out of it.
Don't write that.
I I just meant, like, any injuries.
I'm sorry.
Um, I have a scar on my leg from, um, this boating accident.
The propeller, like, slashed right through it.
I got 41 stitches, three layers.
- On this leg here? - Yeah.
- Your left leg? - My left.
Yeah, 'cause that's-that's on the same side as your back pain.
You know, all those years.
I mean, even earlier, when you came in, I noticed you're like you're pulling this way when you walk, you know? You're like this.
- I do that? - Yeah, you're like this.
I walk like that? Yeah, you're like that.
It's really horrible.
Yeah, you need to break up that tissue in there.
Get the knots out.
Have you tried acupuncture? No.
It's-it's worth a go.
It might be it's pretty good.
It's it's good acupuncture.
Unless you're afraid of needles, of course, in which case it's it's a living nightmare.
Um, so if you want to just - Lay down? - Turn around.
This way.
No, I need to I need to I need to lay you down.
- So if you come back up - Oh, sorry.
And just slowly, slowly back against my hand.
Oh, you've done this before.
Yeah, I lay down every night.
Very good.
Well done.
You're doing great.
And then, uh, legs up and down.
I like all these fish.
Oh yeah, that was my instructor Liam's idea.
It puts everyone at rest.
Liam's really nice.
He's my instructor.
He's really patient with me, you know, with all my mistakes, you know? Um, okay.
So we're just gonna get a blanket over you to keep you warm.
- Okay.
- In there.
Just make sure you're comfortable.
Try and get in as comfortable a position as-as possible, because, you know, once you're in there, literally nothing can change.
Yeah, so just make sure you're comfy now.
And here's the good news: you have the freshest to def-est DJ this side of Nassau County spinning for your ears' pleasure today.
What'd you like, uh, house? Punk? Funk? Rock? Bee-bop? C-pop? New jazz? Old jazz? Scary jazz? Silly classical? None of none of these.
Um Oh, I know.
What-what-what year were you born? '81.
Ha ha, my man, I got you.
Yeah, good, good.
That was a test.
Uh, don't move.
All right.
I'll I'll be speaking to you through the headphones.
It'll take about 40 minutes, and all you need to do is sit back, relax, lie down, don't move, and enjoy.
Okay, here we go.
Here comes the first track.
Oh, you remember this one? SINGER: Do it, do it Oh, he's playing it.
Get up off your feet, everybody.
Don't move, though.
Don't move.
We're imaging your neck.
My back.
My pussy and my crack Oh, hey.
Oh, DJ Trev Just just a bit of MRI humor.
Are are you laughing? Yeah.
That's funny, right? Well, you're in the safe and capable hands of DJ Trev.
So all I need from you is to lay back, relax, enjoy, and please, God, don't touch that panic button.
SINGER: My pussy and my crack My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack You might - YOUNG LIZ: Do you see it? - YOUNG BETH: I do see it now.
It took me a second.
- Okay.
- YOUNG LIZ: Okay.
YOUNG BETH: What do you think, clear or gray? Oh.
Yeah, I'm really excited for this weekend.
I know.
Can you swim in the lake with your leg, or will the sea worms come out again? Oh, okay.
Very nice.
Nice, nice, nice.
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Nice.
YOUNG LIZ: I know.
Can we help you? - Liz, no.
- What? - Let's not do that.
- He's a scrub he's a scrub.
- Oh, come on.
- He is.
One, two, one, two, keep it on.
Do you want to do a competition? - Yeah, I'd love to.
- Okay, all right.
- I'm gonna go faster.
- Okay.
BOTH: One, two, one, keep it on This has been sick let's kick it till dawn This is the abstract got it going on This is the ladies, come on TEACHER: Ladies.
Sorry about that.
All right, eat up.
It's a long drive.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Mom, this is amazing.
Thank you so much.
Oh, sweetie, I love when you wear your hair like that.
If you put in just a little bit of effort, you're such a pretty girl.
Mmm, I want to only eat bacon for the rest of my life.
Do it.
Who is stopping you? I'm certainly not.
Sweetie, how's your little boyfriend? What's his name, Bobby? - I don't like him anymore.
- Yes, you do.
You do.
No, I don't.
He's not my type.
Now remember, men wanna feel needed, so the best way to flirt is to ask for help.
Ask men for help.
- Yes, that's right.
- Got it.
That's a good girl.
Now eat.
You need to eat, too, Mom.
Oh, I don't eat meat.
You know that.
So only toast for me.
- You eat meat.
- Shh.
YOUNG ANN: Road trip, road trip, road trip, road trip! ALL: Road trip, road trip, road trip! TANYA: There's a tree out in the backyard That never has been broken by the wind And the reason it's still standing It was strong enough to bend For years we have stayed together YOUNG JANE: Thank you so much for having us.
This is just incredible.
We ugh.
- YOUNG BETH: It's amazing.
- YOUNG JANE: It really is.
- YOUNG BETH: It's amazing.
- YOUNG JANE: Thank you so much.
Yeah, of course.
You guys are like family.
Oh, this food is delicious.
We're very grateful.
Thank you, I worked hard making it.
I know you did.
How's business? Oh, it's over.
It's only over if you give up.
That's what Dad said.
Okay, it's it's over, right? It's all of it.
Well, if you guys ever need some help, - we're always willing to - Oh no, we're fine.
That's that's really nice.
That's very kind of you.
Thank you.
LIZ'S DAD: Well, all you have to do is ask.
Luckily, people are always gonna break the law, so they're always gonna need lawyers, right? It's true.
Job security.
YOUNG LIZ: Um, can we be excused? We're gonna go down to the water.
- Where? - The water.
Oh, the water, right.
- Go ahead.
- Thank you.
You might turn into fish down there.
- Clear your plates, guys.
- YOUNG BETH: Thank you for this.
My pleasure.
Just make sure you clean up.
Okay? - We will.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
YOUNG JANE: Just like you do at home, where you - I know.
- LIZ'S DAD: Such good kids.
- YOUNG JANE: I know.
- They're like sisters.
- They are.
- They are.
TANYA: For years we have stayed together As lovers and as friends What we have will last forever If we're strong enough to bend [SOFT MUSIC.]
LIZ'S DAD: You can come to me whenever you need anything.
I'm sorry.
I'm just having a hard time.
Look at you.
You're too pretty to cry.
YOUNG LIZ: Beth? What's up? - Hey.
- Wanna go back in? Uh, um, yeah, let's go - let's go back to the water.
- Okay.
Yeah, um, I wanna swim some more.
- YOUNG LIZ: Okay.
Let's go! - YOUNG BETH: Yeah! Let's do it.
I'm fine.
How are you finding the music? It's good.
Um, Liam doesn't normally let me play my music, but Liam's not here today.
Although, I do I do miss him.
I've got some real treats coming up, so just keep your ears open, open up your heart, and don't move a muscle.
I think you might be onto something about my leg.
TREVOR: All right, here comes the next series.
You can do it.
Do the pictures or whatever.
SINGER: All my girls are pretty Are these not the best? You put a little lemon.
Huh? A little cocktail sauce.
This is the best we have on Long Island.
Dig in, girls.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing with that fork? You gotta slurp these.
Like that.
You don't need a fork for this.
Go on, Beth.
- Good.
- Good, right? It's slimy.
Look at that.
That's weird.
I'm gonna go talk to Mommy real quick.
YOUNG ANN: This one's so huge.
Look at it.
- You like it? - YOUNG ANN: Yeah.
YOUNG LEONARD: Janey, what's up? - YOUNG JANE: Hey - YOUNG LEONARD: You look good.
YOUNG JANE: Oh, that's nice.
Listen, I need you to get the rest of your stuff out of the house, okay? YOUNG LEONARD: For what? Where where am I gonna go? YOUNG JANE: That's really not my problem.
Honestly, my problem is that my daughter has a hole in her leg, and it's because of you.
YOUNG LEONARD: It's because of me? YOUNG JANE: Yeah.
SINGER: It's been some time, I come and go Girls, enjoy the rest of your time with Daddy, okay? I'm gonna be in the car when you're done.
- YOUNG ANN: Okay.
- You like clams, right? I yeah, clams are great, but I guess I'm guess I'm being way too eager here.
- Yes, you are.
- I'm sorry.
Really, I-I didn't mean to lose my manners.
- Hello.
- Kitty! My gosh.
I got us a kitten.
Oh, my goodness.
To replace Dad? That's not funny.
Hold her by the tushy.
Get her tail too.
Get both of her feetsies and her tail.
So cute! She's so soft.
- ALL: Aww I always thought you could do better than Dad.
- I think I'll name you Kitty.
You're my one true love.
Good job.
ALL: Good game, good game, good game, good game YOUNG BETH: Why is Liz's mom here? [SOLEMN MUSIC.]
YOUNG JANE: Girls, let's get that pizza inside, right? Let's get it warm.
All right, sweetie, let's go.
Let's say hi.
Say good night.
Good night.
- LIZ'S MOM: Please, please.
- YOUNG JANE: I know.
LIZ'S MOM: Don't do this to us.
YOUNG JANE: I'm not doing anything to you.
LIZ'S MOM: Please.
YOUNG JANE: This isn't even about me.
LIZ'S MOM: What am I supposed to do? YOUNG JANE: Listen, I-I had no idea that he felt this way.
This is not something that I meant to do.
- LIZ'S MOM: This is my life.
- YOUNG JANE: I know.
I know.
And I feel like you should be talking to him about this.
LIZ'S MOM: Just leave us alone.
And stay out of my life.
YOUNG JANE: This is not up to me.
LIZ'S MOM: Stay out of our lives.
YOUNG JANE: I'm not trying to do this to you.
YOUNG ANN: Did you just pull out your hair? No, um, let's let's get some some plates and napkins for the pizza.
You're the boss, applesauce.
- All right.
- Nice.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
Liz, uh, hey? Hey.
Uh, you haven't been in chemistry this week.
Yeah, I know.
Um Could you give this note to your mom for me? Yeah, sure.
Don't read it, okay? Okay.
Promise? Promise.
Uh, I need to talk to Liz right now.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Are you okay? Are you all right? - I'm fine.
- Do you need anything? - No, I'm fine.
- Do you need a seltzer? - I can get you a seltzer - I don't want seltzer.
- I'm fi I just had a moment.
- Just relax.
- I had a moment.
I'm fine.
- Oh, no.
- I'm sorry about that.
- Oh, thank God.
I didn't even mean to hit it.
I think my thumb just pressed it.
I just Were my sick tracks killing it too hard? Is all that was about? - Maybe, but I'm fine now.
- Okay.
- Do you need a moment? - No.
Would you be able to continue? - I'm ready.
- I can give you a mome I'll give you a moment if you need a moment.
I don't need it.
Are you okay? Of course.
I'm fine.
I'm usually fine, yeah.
I just do this as a job.
Are you okay? You know? I'm fine.
Yeah, we we can keep going.
You good? You got it? - Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay, let's do it, right? - Let's keep going.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I'll I'll give you a moment, though.
I don't need it.
Just so you so you can recover.
I'm recovered.
I I really am so sorry about that, Trevor.
Thank you so much.
Um, don't don't use a fork, please.
It's it's an expensive restaurant.
Oh, I know.
I I actually can't believe there's such a nice restaurant in Long Island.
We have such a hard time finding nice restaurants.
We kind of, basically we live in a hut.
Just use your fork.
The little one.
The little one.
There's a little one there you go.
And you take it out.
Is that for Liz's dad? Do we need to use our forks to eat pizza? No, no, sweetheart.
Listen, girls, I am finally, truly, madly in love.
We know.
No, I realized I wasn't in love with him.
I was in love with how much he loved me.
You know? Somebody order a pizza? BOTH: Ah.
Hi, girls.
Nice hat.
I'm Tony.
- Hi.
- Isn't it delicious? Who's ready for some pizza? - YOUNG ANN: Me.
- TONY: All right.
Name your slice, name your slice.
YOUNG ANN: I want that one.
TONY: All right.
Scoop it underneath.
There you go.
- YOUNG ANN: Thank you.
- TONY: At your service.
You looking? What would you like? This one? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
He's here.
YOUNG ANN: Pause it.
Please pause it.
Come say hi.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- YOUNG JANE: This is Annie.
- SCOTT: Hi, Annie.
- YOUNG ANN: Nice to meet you.
- SCOTT: Nice to meet you.
YOUNG JANE: Where are your bags? SCOTT: I left them in the car.
YOUNG JANE: Oh, well, you gotta get them.
SCOTT: Okay.
YOUNG JANE: She's coming.
She's just she's a teenager.
We can play the quiet game all you want, okay? I'm actually very good at it.
- Scott, right? - Yeah.
I'm not playing a game.
I don't wanna get to know you because soon my mom will realize that she's too good for you.
Then there's gonna be a new one of you in about a month.
So enjoy your stay.
It's gonna be a short one.
STYLIST: I need you to hold the front.
BETH: Sure.
STYLIST: Put your hands underneath, right here.
- It's beautiful.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it is.
It's called trichotillomania.
Oh, God, it's a terrifying word.
Yeah, I know, right? It it means compulsive hair pulling and hair loss.
My niece has it.
A lot more people than you think have some form of it.
- Can't she just stop? - Not really.
It's urge response over and over again.
So it's nearly impossible to resist.
My niece does it without even knowing.
There's a lot of shame that comes with it.
She's wearing a wig.
- Can I eat my lunch in here? - Yes, dear.
Dad's asking if he can come to my game tomorrow.
You don't have a game tomorrow.
I know.
Are you okay? He hasn't been home in three days.
I don't know where he is.
I'm sorry, Mom.
I just I really felt like he saw me.
You know? - I see you, Mom.
- Oh.
Oh, that could be Scott.
Will you get it, honey? Sound happy.
Uh, Jones residence.
Who's calling? David Stipe? Yeah.
David, what are you doing on my phone? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, my God, you're so funny.
Oh, how's Susanne? Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
TREVOR: We wanna thank you for visiting Club Trev.
Please post about us on the socials and follow us on our Sound Cloud.
As you leave the venue, please be respectful of our neighbors.
This Oh, no.
Are you okay? - Did you hit the panic button? - No, I didn't.
I didn't hear anything.
I didn't hit it.
I'm fine.
I-I I was just thinking in there.
Yeah, an MRI machine will do that to you.
I was thinking about my life.
My choices, my mom.
Just all of it.
Oh, no, Trevor? Hey, are you okay? Hey.
Come on.
No, I'm I'm not okay.
I I'm I'm about to graduate, and I'm I'm completely lost.
You know, this isn't what I wanna do.
I I get it.
- Yeah? - Yeah, I totally get it.
Do you also wanna be a DJ? Everyone secretly wants to be a DJ, Trevor.
- 'Cause it's so cool.
- It's so cool.
Maya, how do I get in touch with Liz? Liz Liz.
It's so easy.

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