Life Unexpected (2010) s02e03 Episode Script

Criminal Incriminated

Previously on Life UneXpected you and someone had a kid.
You gave up that kid.
I am that kid.
And now I'm applying for emancipation.
Cate Cassidy that's your mom.
Cate Cassidy was pregnant in high school? Yes.
Cate and I are back from our honeymoon.
And we did not return empty-handed.
We'd like to introduce the latest edition to morning madness Kelly Campbell.
I am not granting you emancipation.
I'm releasing you back into their temporary joint custody.
We are firing you.
Ryan and Kelly debut tomorrow.
How would you like to produce the Ryan and Kelly show? Is it the bar? Paige.
Is Ryan here? No, your brother's still at the station.
There is no bar.
Since when? Since you burned it down.
I may not have the right resume or credentials, but I'm a hard worker, I'm determined and I'm fearless, because, believe me, I have nothing to lose.
But you got to know, I want this job.
I needed this.
I see you've met Mr.
You're a? Teacher.
Your daughter is failing out of Westmonte.
She needs to get an "a" on this Thursday's midterm.
A 95! I know that I was only unemployed for a couple of days, but I kind of got used to sleeping in.
Mm well, you know what they say? Hmm? The early bird gets the worm.
That was a that was a euphemism.
Yeah, I got it.
You get that? Yeah, I got it.
Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you up this early.
You know, sober.
This is a big day, Matthew.
Matthew? Yeah.
You know, first day on the real job.
Just, uh practicing sounding professional.
Today's my first day coaching girls' JV basketball.
How am I supposed to sound? Dude, you should sound pumped.
We're both heading into exciting new territory here.
While I'm braving the world of finance, you will be teaching Lux how to dribble.
I told you, there's no way you're going to get her to play.
Lux won't even play basketball on the Wii.
Well, maybe Lux hasn't had the experience to make her love it yet.
Now, this is going to be great for both of us.
Think positive, Matthew.
Okay, not liking that.
Hmm, you look cute.
Thank you.
I mean, I am the producer now.
I'm trying to look producer-y, even if I didn't want the job.
That's the spirit.
Okay, seriously who does this? She's not the only one around here who drinks milk.
She's the only one who confuses the fridge for going here? And she's the only one that would drink a $200 bottle of wine that my aunt gave us for our wedding! Can you keep it down, please? Oh, it's not like she's going to wake up.
And there's nothing to eat.
Why is there nothing to eat? Did I tell you that she borrowed my car yesterday, and she scratched the door? Yes, verbally and via text.
You need to do something about this.
She said she was crashing for a couple of days.
A couple of day came and went a couple of days ago.
Okay, you're repeating your words, so I know you're annoyed, but, Cate, she's family, and as far as sisters go, she could be worse.
Oh, then Abby.
Paige is so much worse than Abby.
Paige hasn't slept with Baze.
Oh, pizza.
I could eat That's just cruel.
Come on.
Look, we'll get something at work, all right? You don't want to be late for your first day.
I got your coffee.
Ah, banana bread.
Thank you.
Hey, Paige.
Wake up.
What are you doing here? I'm taking Lux to school.
We need to talk.
I heard from my dad's insurance company, and they said they would cover the structural damage to the bar.
Oh, sweet.
No, but it's not sweet, because everything else I lost in the fire, which comes to about $20,000, we have to pay for.
Oh, God, that sucks.
Good luck with that.
The "we" that I'm talking about mm-hmm.
Is us, Paige you and me.
I'm not following.
You burned down my bar.
I think it's fair you pay for half.
$10,000?! I can't pay for it myself.
I put all my savings into that bar, and I can't seem to rent Jamie's room in the loft because no one wants to live above a giant ashtray.
Okay, so what do you want me to do? You want me to ask Ryan for it? Oh, God no.
Don't ask Ryan.
No, don't do that.
He would ask what you were doing in my bar.
No, no, not Ryan.
Um look.
I got a job, okay? I am working for my half.
I am asking that you take responsibility for yours.
You don't have to pay me all at once.
You pay me in installments, like, 500 bucks a month or something.
But you got to start paying me soon.
Baze? Hey, you're early.
Hey, good morning, kiddo.
I got you a present.
Think fast.
You want me to play basketball? Well I want you to at least try.
Why? Because there's more to school than grades, that's why.
Tell that to Cate.
Cate spent all of high school in a library studying, getting pelted with spitballs.
While I, on the other hand, played sports and arguably better than Cate ever did.
I mean, not about adverbs or parallelograms or whatever, but about teamwork, discipline, setting goals.
You know what else? I walked the halls spitball free.
Another perk no more stressing about grades.
Because teachers always let athletes slide a little bit.
Come on.
Give us a chance to spend more time together.
I'm gonna suck.
Yeah, you thought you were going to suck on the English midterm, right? But you studied, and you got an "a.
" I'm just asking that you give this a shot, too.
Nate Bazile.
Do you know where I should go? Yes, it's right over there.
You're late.
I thought the market open at 9:30.
East coast time.
I'd also like to remind you that you're no longer working in a bar anymore.
Our investors are high-profile people with high-pressure careers and zero tolerance for frat boys who show up two hours late.
I'm really sorry.
I have to drop my kid off at school in the mornings.
Oh, right, the illegitimate one.
You know, let me break it down for you, Nate.
In this business, perception is everything.
Clients don't want to hear excuses or hear about your personal problems.
If they don't think you have your own life under control, how the hell are you supposed to handle theirs? So, any disaster that is your life, they don't want to hear about it.
And neither do I.
Don't go anywhere.
Portland, keep your dials tuned to k-100.
We'll be back after this word from Candoli's pizza.
Get it while it's hot.
You guys, really fun stuff in there.
That was really great.
Really great.
Just one thing, Kelly I couldn't help noticing this clicking sound in your voice.
It was like see how that's annoying? Yes, I do.
It used to happen to me all the time, too.
You might want to take a bite out of an apple.
It helps.
Oh, think that there's some in the break room.
So? Yeah? How you doing? Doing good.
I'm doing really good.
Doing good.
Things are going really swimmingly, you know.
They're sweet swimmingly.
"Swimmingly, " that's a word, isn't it? I mean, that is a word- "swimmingly"? Yeah, it's a it's a word.
You all right? Yeah.
I'm really good.
I mean, my tongue feels really heavy in my mouth, like it's taking up more space or something.
Hmm, maybe it's swollen.
Maybe my mouth is getting smaller.
I cannot stop eating this banana bread you made.
It is delicious.
I didn't make any banana bread.
Well, Lux, she definitely did not make it, because that girl she can't even turn the stove on.
Oh, God, Cate.
Uh, put the bread down.
Put the bread down! Out.
Paige made this.
It means there's more here than just bananas.
Like love? Like pot.
Are you telling me that I just inhaled an entire loaf of pot banana bread?! Mm-hmm.
Ooh, what'd I miss? *** Hey, I got you your venti, nonfat, two splenda latte as requested.
Bastard! Not you.
That was a friend of mine from u of o.
He promised me two of his football players would participate in the firm's charity golf tournament tomorrow, and they just pulled out.
I'm playing with a potential client and we need two celebrity guests to fill out our foursome.
Uh, you I I may know some guys that can step in.
I need actual celebrities.
Not some friend of yours who once won a taco eating contest.
What about Andre Miller and Marcus Camby? Portland trailblazers? You know them? Do I know Yes.
They used to come into the bar all the time.
Once, we got drunk together and went to the roof, and we started firing beer cans off of the, uh Uh, not important, never happened.
I could try to get ahold of them.
Don't just try, get it done.
Hey, Cate.
Baze, thank God you answered.
I really need your help.
Um, how do I get un-high? Are you anywhere near a hot tub? Uh, no.
Then I can't help you.
No, Baze, seriously.
Okay, my mouth is totally dry, my eyes are swelling shut.
I can do this.
A man should make it clear exactly how much he makes a year? Absolutely.
That way, the woman knows what kind of lifestyle she's looking at down the line.
And that's not at all superficial? It's practical.
When making any big decision, you always want to have as much information as possible.
Ryan, dating is just the process of deciding to marry someone.
Says the woman that no man has decided to marry.
I mean, do you think Barbie in here is really a born-again virgin by choice? What if she's a doll, like, all plastic down there? Your mic is on.
I got corporate on line two for you.
Good effort.
Love the hustle.
Let's take five.
Jones, hey.
I can't believe you're playing basketball.
Any advice or words of encouragement? Nice socks? I told Baze this was a bad idea.
The socks? The basketball.
What, is this like, a parent thing? The whole follow in their footsteps, turn you into them? Because after I humiliate myself here, I get to go home and study for a test that I'm going to fail or you could blow it off, and we could go grab food.
Uh, just be as friends, I promise.
A group thing.
Besides, you'll study better when you get home.
Pizza is like spinach for your brain.
Okay, well, I need, like, a billion slices.
And I got to get my English grade up or I'm gonna fail out, but maybe next time.
You hooking me up for tomorrow? 'Cause Mr.
Rogers says that test is gonna be impossible.
Don't worry about it.
We're all set.
Bring the cash to pizza tonight, and you'll get the blue book with the answers already in it.
Hey, I changed my mind.
I'm in for pizza tonight.
I could use all the spinach I can get.
So how bad was it? She said, you know, with all the money that they're using to promote you and Kelly, that it would be a shame if the audience pictured her having gender-neutral doll genitalia.
Can't argue with that.
Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence.
I mean, do you even care at all that this is Paige's fault? The Barbie talk? That was all you.
Why are you defending her? No, forget jeopardizing my entire career.
There is a teenager living in the house.
I mean, what if Lux had eaten a loaf of drugs for breakfast? I mean, that's not okay.
Your sister needs to go.
Yes, I understand that you have a lot of requests for Marcus to ap but my job kind of depends on this, so if you could just give him a message, he'd remember me.
He hung out at my bar.
And we, uh Well, we used to we threw beers from the roof together.
Hello? Hello.
Hi, Cate.
I need a favor.
Mm, are you near a hot tub? No.
Well, then I can't help you.
All right, I deserve that.
Hot tubs, they really do sober you up, so I was being helpful, and, uh, two, I'm trying to make up for kind of a rocky start, wondering if my dad's firm is having a charity golf tournament tomorrow, and a couple celebrities bailed out at the last second.
So, you want to know if Ryan and I are available? Actually, I was wondering if Ryan and Kelly might be available.
So, what, Kelly's a celebrity now? I mean, God, that didn't take long.
Okay, I'm sorry, Cate, but I am desperate.
Bunch of bigwigs are gonna be there.
It's local celebrities playing with important potential investors for the firm.
Um, lots of press.
I mean, after today, the show could use that.
I mean, I could use that.
I mean, yeah, why not? Really? Yeah.
I'm a producer now.
This is me producing.
Yeah, I like this.
I like this you and me getting along thing.
Uh, yeah, me, too.
Don't screw it up.
Hey, there.
Uh, dinner's gonna be here in a bit.
I hope you're good with Chinese.
I, um, I forgot to tell you, but I'm gonna be meeting some friends for pizza.
Oh, oh.
Um, well, do you need money? I just hit up the ATM.
I'm good.
And, Lux, what about your test? Did you finish studying? It's totally under control.
I just have to say, the way that you have rebound at school I'm really proud of you.
Would you be home at 9:00? Yeah.
Uh, let me just get my cash.
One second.
So I haven't seen you around lately.
Yeah, yeah, I guess I've been pretty busy.
My adoption hearing, the wedding, I tagged along on Ryan and Cate's honeymoon.
Yeah, we went to Vegas.
I would tell you about it, but the ad campaign says you're not supposed to.
So I-I heard, uh, you and bug broke up.
We don't have to talk about it.
I just wanted to make sure you're all right.
Yeah, no, no, it-it's okay.
He kind of proposed, and I wasn't ready.
Well, someone helped me see that.
Someone? Like another guy? Yeah, yeah, not really.
It was over before it started.
You really have been busy.
But I'm glad you weren't too busy to come hang out tonight.
Although we kind of ditched the guys.
Hey, you want another drink? Orange or lemon-lime? Um, half and half.
All right.
Um, I want in on whatever your version of studying is.
We don't know what you're talking about.
Really? 'Cause I overheard you today.
You sounded like a bad episode of saved by the bell- which is redundant.
So let me put it to you this way, screech.
Let me in on this or I'm telling Mr.
Rogers that you're cheating.
She stole it.
You don't know that.
Yes, I do.
Paige stole it, Ryan.
$300 cash doesn't just disappear out of my wallet.
All right, can we just retrace your steps? Yes.
All steps lead back to Paige.
I mean, how do you not see that? Because she's not the only one who lives in this house.
Lux? Um, are you seriously trying to imply that Lux stole from me? Because that is ridiculous.
If you do not ask Paige, I will.
Hey, ask me what? Chinese? Yes.
I'm starving.
All right, look, Cate's missing some money from her wallet.
Oh, bummer.
Can I have the last dumpling? Awesome.
Uh, any idea what happened to it? Nope.
Gotta go.
What, that's it? Your entire line of questioning is gonna stop at "bummer" and "nope"? Look, I know my sister, okay? She didn't take the money.
Now, I asked her.
It's your turn.
To what, cross-examine her? Not Paige.
Fair is fair.
You got to ask Lux.
Hey, it's Lux.
Leave a message.
Hey, kiddo.
Just wanted to see how your first practice went.
I, uh, I thought I'd be there, but I am still at work.
I'll call you later.
Take a look at the prospectus tonight, I think you'll be impressed.
We rank number one in technology stock research, middle market investment banking.
But why not just save yourself the time and sigporadically.
You won't regret it.
I will take a look, and I will see you on the golf course tomorrow.
Looking forward to meeting the trailblazers.
Me, too.
We're set for that, right? Um, well, actually, uh, turns out they had other trails to blaze.
But you'll be golfing with Kelly and Ryan, the hosts of k-100's morning madness.
Oh, I love that show.
Yeah, I listen sporadically.
There was this, um, girl Cate.
Yeah, knocked up by one guy, engaged to another, sleeping around at 16, now there's this kid running around.
Um, yeah.
No, I'm-I'm not familiar.
Yeah, now there's the new one Kelly.
She's single, right? Yes, sir, I believe so.
My divorce just got finalized, so There's that.
Uh, she'll be there.
And we're looking forward to it, tomorrow.
Oh, and you'll be there, too, right? To caddy, maybe? I I will be there.
Hey, Lux, um, can we talk to you? Um, I was just going to go study.
Uh, we $300 is missing from my wallet.
Oh, I haven't seen it.
This is not what we are asking.
Okay, Ryan.
Um Lux, did you take it? You think I stole your money? No.
I just had to ask.
You had to? Because I've been doing everything you asked me to do.
I've been working my butt off at school, I've been I've been getting my grades up, I even joined the the basketball team to keep Baze happy, and you still think that I'm this mess-up kid who would steal and then lie about it.
Oh, 'cause that is- that's awesome.
Okay, Lux, I didn't say that.
You didn't have to.
Kelly hey Cate thanks for waiting for me.
Paige had to drop me off.
You let Paige borrow your car.
I hope your insurance covers theft.
It's good to know we're talking again.
Yeah, well, until you realize you've got a major blind spot when it comes to your sister, we're not.
Ooh, nice bib.
What are you- what are you doing here? Well, you know, thought we could do it on the putting green.
What is what is this? This is 300 bucks.
It's the best I could do.
So I'd appreciate it if you'd just lay off, you know, until I get a job.
Okay, okay, you got to go.
What? You got to go.
You are a lot nicer when you're wasted.
Why did some girl dressed like a hooker just give you a wad of cash? Did that actually just happen? No, absolutely not.
And there is nothing to worry about.
Oh, that's that's probably nothing.
I'm going to go check on that.
What happened? She hit me in the head with a golf ball! Accidentally! Hey, you got a pretty good knot there.
Okay, do you want me to help get some ice? I want you to get me a restraining order from you! I'm done.
What are you doing? My job depends on this.
I just maimed the host of my own show.
My job is teetering precariously on the edge of secure as well.
Some idiot just hit Kelly in the head with a golf ball.
She just dropped out of the tournament.
I can't lose this client.
Where am I supposed to find another celebrity in 60 seconds? Well, I just want to say that I was a celebrity until about a week ago.
That's true.
That's totally true.
Why you could I mean, you could fill in; You could take her spot.
Not exactly keeping her personal life away from the client.
Hey? We got a foursome or what? Not a word about how you two know each other.
All right, time's up.
Pencils down.
Pass your blue books to the front.
No homework tonight, but be ready to start a separate peace tomorrow.
It's one of my favorites.
So, how'd you do? Pretty well, I think.
See, I told you the pizza would help.
Hold it, everyone.
A few of the teachers in the English department have been concerned about cheating, so we've decided to mark the test booklets we hand out, and I see a few of these don't have marks.
Told you, you were idiots.
Shut up, dude.
The following people please stay behind.
Chris Davies, Mike Bennett, Max Jacobs And Lux Cassidy.
Everyone else is dismissed.
Is that why you decided to come last night? To get in on their cheating ring? I can't believe you.
If you think Lux would steal and lie about it, we have a bigger problem on our hands.
I'm, I'm not saying Lux would, okay I'm just But you can't face the fact that Paige would? You know, we're your family now- me and Lux.
Okay, you know what? Can you guys hit pause on this episode of Jerry springer? You're distracting the client.
Thanks, Ryan.
Anything for Cate's side of the family.
Your sister is a grown woman that stole money and lied to my face, and to yours! You don't know Paige stole it, okay? It could have been Lux.
All right, what about Lux? What are we talking about here? There's $300 missing from Cate's purse.
Yeah, and he would rather accuse our kid than his sister.
Lux is not a thief, Ryan.
By the way, Paige just gave me 300 bucks.
So so could you be quiet? What? Why-why is Paige giving you money? You don't even know Paige.
Paige and I you know, we met when she interviewed for the bartenders gig.
And she is paying me money because she burned down my bar.
What?! Wait, I thought a cigarette did.
It was Paige's cigarette.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no! Oh, Ryan after everything we've been through you're sleeping with my fiance, you interrupt our wedding.
Do not tell me you slept with my sister.
Yeah, of course, he slept with your sister.
He slept with my sister.
He sleeps with everybody's sister.
I didn't know that she was anybody's sister.
And I for sure hell didn't know that she was going to burn down my bar, steal money from Cate and then frame my kid.
All I am trying to do right now is my job.
So don't you make me out to be the bad guy, Ryan.
Not now! If you guys don't mind, I'm going to make this my last hole.
Get out.
Not just out of the car our house, I know you stole the money, Paige, I know you slept with Baze, and I know you burned down his bar.
Where am I supposed to go? I defended you to Cate.
And I even accused my own stepdaughter.
I'll drop you off on my way to the station, but I want you packed and gone by the time I get back.
I, uh, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just- I wanted to apologize.
I hope that you won't let what I said or who I am affect your decision to invest your money with the firm.
I'm not the guy that's going to be managing the money.
That's Emma.
And that's who you want.
She will eat, sleep and breathe your portfolio so that you can rest easy.
Me I got this job two days ago.
And my dad helped me get my foot into the door.
And I took the job to prove something to him, and to my kid and to myself.
And I have a lot to learn.
You know, but as badly as I want it, I'm not the type of guy who can hide who I am to impress someone, even if who I am makes me look bad to someone like you.
So What do you think? Don't worry, I'm not robbing you.
I'm packing.
I'm sorry I stole your money.
But I guess you got what you wanted.
No, this isn't what I wanted.
You have hated me since I showed up.
I don't hate you, Paige.
I just think that Ryan's given you one too many chances is all.
How many chances has he given you? After all the crap you pulled with Baze.
You are so lucky Ryan's the type of guy who would never turn his back on family.
If he were, he never would have married you.
Thanks for the hospitality.
I cannot believe this.
I mean, cheating doesn't even make any sense.
You've been doing so well.
Not really.
What about the midterm last week? Oh, um I I stole the answers from math's man purse.
It's a carry-all.
But that's not the point.
I mean, here I am, feeling guilty for accusing you of lying and stealing and telling Ryan that he's wrong about you, and that is exactly what you're doing.
Cate, ease up.
Not everybody is a valedictorian.
Maybe Lux wouldn't have felt like she had to cheat if you hadn't been riding her so hard to get good grades.
Yeah, or if you hadn't forced her to sign up for basketball when she was already struggling.
Guys I want her to know that there is more to life than getting "A's".
Yes, there's always the pride of making the team and joining the jocks in the cheating ring.
All right, stop! Look, this is how it is.
I've never had a parent to help me with my homework.
I've never gone to a school where they've actually given a crap about how I did.
I've never had a hobby, I've never played a sport.
I have never I've never taken piano lessons.
Parent-teacher conferences- I was always minus the parent.
But what you're doing, thinking that you can just sign me up or-or make me some flash cards, and I'll be you.
I'm trying, but it's not working.
So, if-if you want a daughter that's you I'm sorry, but I think you've got the wrong kid.
Your new thinking spot? So how bad is it? Am I suspended? I got it knocked down to detention.
But there's something else.
They're working with the school to get you a tutor.
No, I-I don't need a tutor.
Look, I'm sorry that I I lied to you, I'm sorry I cheated, it's just I need them to stop pressuring me to be them.
That's crap, Lux.
Yes, they want you to be like them.
What parent doesn't? But that's not why you're upset.
I think you're upset because you're not who you want to be.
Deep down, you want to be like them, too.
Sure it's cool I called? Well, we need a roommate, you need a room.
But I will tell you this.
If you burn down this loft, I will kill you.
Baze? Lux, hey.
What are you doing? I, uh, I want you to teach me How to do this.
All of this.
I mean, you don't have to do this for me.
I want to do this for me, too.
You know, you should have seen Paige as a kid.
Nobody could handle her.
She Remember this one time, she had, she had chocolate icing all over her face, and she would just flat-out deny she ever touched the cake.
She was so convincing, you almost believed her.
I don't know, maybe I just wanted to.
Yeah, I think we all want to see the good in people we love.
You know, when you love people, you give them s and thirds and And a million.
Yeah, I'd do it for Lux and God knows, you've done it for me.
I shouldn't have given you such a hard time about doing it for Paige.
You know, maybe there's a way that we can help her that fixes things for more than just Paige.
For our whole family.
Math, hey.
Yeah, she's back on the team.
I know, yeah? Oh, dude, I am dying to help coach, but work, you know.
I don't know, maybe on weekends.
Oh, dude, I got to go.
Bruce Jackson called.
To what, get me fired? He said he would love to sign at Fenmore financial.
Yeah, he seems to think we make a great team.
Um, said your honesty was refreshing.
And that he was sure you would always give it t you charm him why's your face like that? Because I busted my butt to sign him, and you charm him by doing the one thing I told you not to do.
It's more depressing than an episode of the biggest loser.
I'm sorry I told you to lie.
Apparently, who you are is more appealing than I realized.
Thanks? And, um If you need a couple hours each week because of the kid- the illegitimate one that can probably be arranged.
We-we should talk.
I-I know you must hate me.
For lying to you.
I don't hate you, Lux.
I mean, I wish I did.
It would make things easier.
I lied, too, okay? When I said I wanted to just go out as friends.
I've wanted to be more than friends with you since I met you.
And since bug is out of the picture, and this other guy was over before it started I don't know.
Maybe there's a chance for us.
Either now or down the road.
Eric? Wh-what are you doing here? Math didn't tell you? I'm your new tutor.
All right, Lebron, the first thing you need is a killer crossover.
But in order to get one of those, you're gonna have to learn how to dribble with both hands.
So right then left Hey, Baze.
Yeah? Hey, uh What's this? It's ten grand.
It's Paige's debt.
Um, are you sure? You guys don't need to do this.
Yeah, we we talked about it.
You shouldn't be on the hook for-for the money.
You know, if she actually manages to pay you back, you could just slip it to us.
Thanks, man.
All right.
We gonna play or what? Yes, we're gonna play.
All right, so, uh, Lux.
Ryan, you guys want to be on the same team? I don't know.
Ryan? He might be afraid that I will steal the ball! Oh, oh, oh, oh! I deserve that.
I deserve that.
Oh, I got a better idea.
I got a better idea.
How about, uh How about guys versus girls? All right.
Baze and I will be on the same team for once.
You ready? Yeah, we're ready.
One, two