Lilyhammer (2011) s02e05 Episode Script

The Island

Now the future is over The sun will lose its shape and the moon will lose its shine and the forces of the universe will be shaken! Then when I look up I will see them in the sky.
-The time has come, my friends! -Hallelujah! Three, two, one, zero! I'm shaken, I see nothing.
Do we have the same time? Check Twitter or Facebook to see if anything has happened.
Nothing.
-Earthquake? Flood? Volcanoes erupting? I could not have counted wrong! It is not the time! I was so sure that doomsday had come.
Father! My God! He's absolutely crazy.
-I know.
Now something tells me it's time to go back to Norway.
Ehhhhtozebec Why are you going to Oslo? I worry too Johnny, that my brother is going to fuck up somehow.
Thought you'd enjoy music when there's stress on the job.
Don't you wanna sing smartass? Did you read the papers? Yes, but the box didn't belong to the PST.
It was of a more personal nature.
Let's call it my retirement fund.
You know, information is worth lots.
But who and where is this guy we're after? You were hungry, weren't you? -I just forgot to pay.
.
Yes, it's too bad you forgot, now you're stuck with me.
Switchboard.
Hey.
I would like the PST personnel department.
Hello, Sturle! How are you? Listen, I need to ask you something.
Is Jobs still with you? Yes, he works in the archive remains.
Okay.
Thanks, Sturle.
So, this is where your friend lives? Ok, I'll take your coat.
Oi, it beeped! Yeah.
I have piercing down there.
Okay.
Then I unfortunately have to see it.
.
I was young.
We had different ideals back then.
.
Maybe, but it does look very nice.
.
Hello! I must say that I was a bit taken aback when I found out who was on his way.
Do you remember how I ended up here? I must be in a dream if you are asking me for a favour.
- but I know a guy that might be able to help you.
Do you know The Orange? He works as a kind of treasurer for the military.
He takes B12 to give him colour.
I'll let you know as soon as my early release is confirmed.
Hey that's expensive.
-Relax! You've gotta expect some spillage.
What's your hurry? Why? Yes, no, it Where are you going? You always hang with the crazy guys.
Why not hang out with us?? I'm pretty sure that they have something wild planned for me.
Oh yeah? It's my birthday.
Time to celebrate.
Go crazy.
Who knows what'll happen.
Happy birthday! -Thank you, thank you.
Cindy! Now it's January's turn.
No, it's not! -That's it! -Shut up.
-Congratulations! Keep it clean guys! -Maybe I'll get some.
Oi, oi, oi, oi! Is it legal to lick the tits? Hello! -Randi, I was on the way up to the reception.
-I see you took a little detour.
No, you know Just a little prank.
Birthday stuff.
.
I heard what you said to her.
Poor girl.
It's just the way the guys talk here at the Flamingo.
-Bit primitive.
-Primative.
-Don't go.
Randi.
Wait, I'm coming.
-No! You can just forget it! Should I just say no when the guys throw me a little party? Yes.
Once you are in a relationship with a woman, you don't lick other women! I didn't know we had such strict rules.
Happy birthday to Jan! Happy birthday to January He will not be coming! Listen! I need some of those herbs ! I thought you were done with that nonsense? I promised January, not you.
I need something right now, I'm seeing red.
Yes, yes.
Okay.
I have a customer here now.
You must book an appointment at reception.
Mom? Mom? -You're talking about mother in your sleep again.
Goodness me, look at my boys! You've gotten so big! Hello! What are you doing here? I dropped by next door, and the neighbor said I'd find you here.
What are you doing in Norway? -Relax a little.
God.
It's good to see you.
-Sorry I couldn't come sooner.
It would have been even nicer if it hadn't been ten years in between visits.
Can you dig a little chai latte? Who doesn't love it? Are you ready for the first day of the rest of your life, chummy? Now mom drags her butt into town, and we're supposed to welcome her with open arms? Chill, or as the rappers say Chillax motherfucker! The rappers haven't met our mother.
I have somebody I'd like you to meet.
Stanley.
He rocks my world.
Hello! Wow! I never knew that they were bigshots! Bang! Bang! This is actually one fucking cool club you have! It's a good thing, you know.
Yes.
Check it out.
.
"First lesson free.
" You're Roar, right? The funny brother? -Yes.
That's right.
Belinda, can we get some champagne for our guests? -Champagne? Now we have to be careful.
-My God! -Alright.
But at least some wine.
-They haven't changed.
Roar is so generous, and Torgeir a little more reticent.
The plus and minus.
I have some gifts for you.
An apple cider, organic, of course.
World's best "pata negra" ham.
This is way better than the room service in prison.
Is it okay if I have a shower here? Shower? Yeah, sure.
Johnny Don't pull a heavy.
I have done lots to try and help you.
Cross my heart.
You think you can come here and mess with my boy? I've chosen a new path.
He's my sponsor.
Boys? When I was in prison, I took anger management courses.
When it was hard, we all sat down in a circle.
It's a good idea.
We can do that.
Okay.
The thing is that these guys here wasted no time.
They got the exact things that they were looking for.
What are we talking about here? We're talking about who was behind the Bieber robbery.
You should have told me sooner.
I'm straight now, but I've done five years before.
But I'm pretty lazy and need strong incentives to do things, to get in gear.
You'll hear from us.
Ahhhh! This heat is killing me!! Yes.
Torry! Torry boy! Can you lower the temperature? Sorry.
The name is Torgeir.
Hey there if your mother keeps it up, she'll get heat stroke! It's like a sauna in here.
It is a business concept to have it hot.
A good son would take into account that his mother has come into menopause! But lowering the temperature! -Hope I can't hear you.
What are you doing? -The cash is low, so I got some from the safe.
There is plenty of cash to get by with.
Where did you get the combination? her fat Finnish ass on the printer.
Smooth.
-Put back the money, at least.
-Use your own money! Do you think the champagne fountain is free? It's ten bucks a glass.
I did not ask for a champagne fountain.
No, but mom -Mom! Is she the manager? -Relax, Torgeir! My God! Now think about this.
She cares only about his plots.
That's her honey.
I'm gonna help her.
Pussy! You have to talk to Torgeir about that Eh Was a little Was not so much -Is intelligence a hobby you also have? Brother, a friend has seen him shop here every Friday.
.
What is going on? -Huh? lf you ask you're dead.
Do you know what happened to the last curious cat? It was paralyzed from the waist down.
Are Is he the guy? -Yes, man.
Looks like they're having taco night.
Gullrekka, the Friday night lineup, on TV.
I've lived here for 18 years, and I do not understand the thing.
There he goes.
-Looks more like he should take a bath.
I can't steal a boat in broad daylight on the Aker Brygge.
What about the kayaks there? I'd like to see the ass that volunteers to go in the water.
I saw him hide the bags under the couch in the cabin on the north side here.
The fuse box is located just right outside.
It was only an idea.
Hey! You in front of the pet shop.
The center is closed now.
Everyone must leave.
Hello.
Little friend.
What have they done to you? You shouldn't have gone to the indoor zoo.
My dear, letting loose all those parrots What were you thinking of? Everything is not about you, Jan! I get a pain in my heart when I see exotic creatures kept in cages for life! -Are we talking about parrots now? No, I guess not.
We shouldn't cage them, we should let them fly.
If you say so.
Are you the prosecutor again now? Yes.
I talked to the police, you can go.
Were you with someone last night? I know that pussy smell all the way over here.
You have no idea it hurts that you can believe something like that about me.
It does not matter, I have already sent a report to the UDI.
I told them about you abusing Kat.
You are hooked on the young girls.
You're in the pocket of the cynical barkeep.
We are only happy doing something else.
Goodbye, January Randi? Can you tell me what's the deal here or what? Ship ahoy, comrades! The fisher guy, he's your buddy? -Yeah he's in rehab for drugs.
.
-They build boats instead of abusing.
-Seriously? -Now it's starting to get crowded here.
No life jacket? Yes, I have matching suits and sailor hats for everyone in the box there.
Are you stupid? Get on.
If anything happens, it's every man for himself.
You jerk.
Remember to close the door.
-Under the couch.
Yes.
There is nothing here! The fucking bag's not there! I saw them put it under the couch.
-It's not here.
We looked everywhere, it was not under the couch.
Like you said.
I never knew what we had was so valuable.
But now that I do One million American dollars.
It costs a lot to buy supplies at the liquor store.
Yes, it I got in a bit of a bind.
But we have receipts for our expenses.
a couple of beers.
I don't think they want me there.
.
Yes, yes, yes.
I've only had a little setback, because I next week.
Excuse me.
January have any good suggestions, or? It's my mom's boyfriend.
I'm not interrupting? You interfered big time with the director of the club, so Stanley was just about to leave.
Before I became religious, I dabbled with music.
Hey, guys! This is my band.
We are going to fit perfectly with the Flamingo's profile.