Lilyhammer (2011) s02e06 Episode Script

Special Education

pfs Come on Going somewhere Tommy boy? Come on Ok, let's just er stop fooling around ok? As you know your new friends, they stole something that belonged to me And they forgot to leave their new address last chance, their new address Really? Ok, cocksucker Always the hard way with this guy Reiger get away from the edge look fucking round Holy fuck! Holy fuck! Is he dead? Fucking jerk, I dunno Oh, thank god! Alright, so like you were saying My stuff? Good Now Tommy This is our second encounter you know the American expression three stikes in a row Understood? Understood Well I hear congratulations is in order Wenche told me the big news Thankyou Well, is there is anything I can do let me know special occasion like this requires a special celebration, right? Actually, there is one thing Me? I'd be honoured Oh, not now! You got a crush on me or what? You wish This is Bullshit We had the car serviced last week you want to share whatever you have been smoking? Oh that's cute What's in it for me if I tell you? pardon me? Guys pay big bucks for this kind of action we're open all night baby Sorry I'm late We want to evaluate whether he should enter a programme for children with special needs Well, that ain't going to happen Listen er, Charlie is it? Tidi Yeah, whatever We had that special needs bullshit where I grew up too Yeah, their own school bus Mothers used to use it as a threat Do good at school or we'll put you on the retard bus Mr.
Henrikson I It was very scary Even as a kid we knew that that bus was going nowhere Not my kid baby Our kids are going places So fuck your special needs Fuck that They're the ones with the special needs Come on, let's get the fuck outa here Talk to me Can't hear a fucking word, hold on Reiger, Reiger, Come on, the cabin Boss, we got company It's alright I got no patience While I respect the balls of this robbery just getting back what's mine Don't forget I read a few interesting things about you in the file Listen you stupid fuck You forgot to burn the masks one word about the file, the cops got your DNA Don't push your luck Come on Come on You got to have fun at your own bachelor party Ok, maybe not that much fun Hey man! let the lady have a good time try and keep it together understand what I'm saying? Just take it easy alright? What you take me for? One of those cunts who don't call after a first date? Thought I could help you out a little bit Will it get you get you off my back? Good take a look at this A friend of mine, let's call him a concerned citizen dropped these off the other day Check it out The Beiber heist Impressed? Surprised Yeah, well most people were upset that their safety deposit boxes were emptied here it all is No but let's not get greedy You return this You're the hero of the day So Anything wrong? Well Just that er Your usually not this mellow around half naked women I'm a little overworked, I guess but you're on top of it right? You know me, always on top! Yeah Yeah, yeah, good Oh, what now? What's going on? Tell you what right Take the rest of the night off And take a taxi home alright? keep this unfortunate incident to ourselves right Ok I think it's time to escort your new father figure out What a surprise - Hi! What's the occasion? You know how much I want to hear about that We don't have any choice he has the appointment You know it's that charlie girl don't you It's her job to find these kids So what? Well, so I was thinking maybe You could spend some days with him before the test? You know I wouldn't mind but er Bye -Bye bye -bye Bye now Barney, get over here! What are you doing? You're supposed to be stimulating him up here Barney, you don't understand This kid's taking a major aptitude test in two days You're going to go out and er get him something that stimulates his brain one of them toys with the square things in the square holes and the circles in the circles and the things in the things Barney! - yeah, yeah I'm going It's Stanley What's he done now? What? What? what? what? Come on, it can't be worse than yesterday He raped a sheep -raped a sheep we found this as well in the barn The vet examined the sheep's arse and they found some semen in the sheeps arse Human semen -ok Ok, ok! It's worse than yesterday Jesus Christ! Listen to me disappear this lowlife You got it boss We didn't have these problems in Brooklyn I've brought you a little peace offering Well, this is the guy who inherited the booze business Are you a smartarse philosopher, or are you going to listen? Ok I'm listening You're going to get your business back There's been a little contradiction Drop this scumbag in Sweden And make sure he never comes back to Norway again Good In that case Your back How's it going boys? Thatta boy, keep it up.
Alright, I'll take it from here Well Did he show you how to work this thing or what? You know, triangles go in here, square goes in the square, right This goes over here You here that? Uncle Barney had special education Pass this test, do you hear me? We're running out of time I gotta think of something I'm so so nervous That's ok Yeah, everything's good And Bjorn is inside? Don't worry about a thing he'll be fine So? It's the wrong twin It's the wrong twin? I must of er accidentally switched the clothes accidentally? This is serious Bjorn must show signs of social interaction or he will be transferred Yeah well we appreciate your concern, and er Tidi Yeah, whatever Shit happens Now don't look at me like that What was I supposed to do? You don't exactly make it easy you know.
I know I shouldn't leave you with my stupid fucking employees every day but I got no choice Fucking Roar, fucking Reiger, I got to spend my fucking time clearing up their fucking mess Cabish? What? Did you say something Will you do that again? He did it! You spoke! I knew it! I knew you were normal! God damn! Two syllables You're a fucking genius, that's what you are! I knew it I knew it! Drinks on the house My kid has said his first words! He used a four letter word, of course Did he say Daddy? Yeah, he said Daddy, let's have a drink Set em up baby I knew he had it in him Let's drink huh! To er to Daddy! A wise old Owl, lived in an Oak and the more he saw, the less he spoke the less he spoke the more he heard not for nothing said the Owl I'm not a rat I'm a bird what is so fucking important what? are you afraid of delegating responsibility? that's what I do with you I delegate responsibility to you now I'm trying to put my kid to sleep Thankyou Here's looking at you kid