Lip Sync Battle (2015) s02e20 Episode Script

Michael Shannon vs. Rachel Bloom

1 ("20th Century Boy" by T-Rex plays) Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good Everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll Well, it's plain to see you were meant for me Yeah, I'm your boy Your 20th Century toy.
(thumps) - (audience cheering) - (feedback squeals) Chrissy Teigen: He's a force on the mic and nobody's gonna love you better than your host, LL Cool J! Hands in the air, hands in the air! Now let me hear you say, "Yeah!" Audience: Yeah! Now scream! (audience whooping) Welcome to "Lip Sync Battle.
" Every week, huge stars come here to do the unexpected just 'cause it's fun.
(scattered whooping) And keeping us on our toes, our colorful commentator, the perfectly provocative, Chrissy Teigen.
Everywhere I go, go, go, go, go All they do is stare - Go on, stare All they do is stare - Go on, stare All they do is stare - Go on, stare - All they do is stare - Go on, stare Warm it up, baby.
Warm it up, baby.
LL: Warm it up, Chris.
Warm it up, Chris, warm it up, Chris.
Warm it up, baby.
- Hey, LL, hey, LL.
- Get lit, baby.
- Get lit, baby.
- Oh, oh, I can't.
- Get lit, baby.
- Oh, I can't.
- I can't.
- Get lit, baby.
- Get lit, baby.
- You have so much energy.
(audience laughs) - (chuckles) - (Chrissy grunts) Tonight is the night where comedy meets drama, a funny, crazy girl if you will, and a sarcastic villain face-to-face right here on this stage.
- Absolutely.
- so Anything can happen and I like surprises.
- So I'm ready for this.
- You like surprises? - I do.
- Well, you gonna get some surprises.
- I know, I'm excited.
- Absolutely, it's gonna be good.
- I'm excited.
- Ready to get it on? - Let's do this, surprise time.
- Let's get it on.
(audience cheering) All right, our first contender does it all write, act, sing, she shot from internet fame to staring in her own show, the "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" Here's Rachel Bloom! (cheers and applause) (squeals) (giggles) - (cheering) - (Rachel whoops) Come on, give me your hand! Chrissy: Work them, work them.
LL: And her opponent is crazy too.
Oh, no, oh no.
Crazy talented.
He's an Oscar-nominated actor.
You've seen him in the "Man of Steel" and "Boardwalk Empire.
" He's always ready for a fight.
- Michael Shannon! - Chrissy: Whoo! (cheers and applause) - How you doing? - Great.
- (cheering) - (growls) You're great.
You.
Stage bow.
Think it's time to get our battle on.
You ready? - (audience cheers) - (Chrissy laughs) Oh, okay, it's like that.
Well, look, I've seen Mike be super intense on film and he is a method actor, so I'm not gonna mess with him.
Rachel, you have a seat in the VIP.
Michael, you're up first, you know where the bodies are buried.
(audience cheering) What song are you doing first? Well, one of my favorite bands in the Pixies and I'm doing a song of theirs called "Here Comes your Man.
" - Chrissy: Whoo! - Ooh.
LL: Oh, I see what you're doing.
Okay, "Here Comes Your Man" by the Pixies, it's Michael Shannon.
("Here Comes Your Man" by the Pixies plays) Oh, my God.
Outside there's a box car waiting Outside the family stew Out by the fire breathing Outside we wait till face turns blue I know the nervous walking I know the dirty beard hangs Out by the box car waiting Take me away to nowhere plains (laughing) There is a wait so long So long, so long You'll never wait so long Here comes your man Here comes your man Here comes your man Here comes your man.
- (audience cheering) - Thank you.
Thank you.
LL: Damn.
Michael Shannon.
(Chrissy laughs) I wanna get to my little Pixie.
- Aw, little Pixie.
- Chrissy Teigen.
LL: What did you think, how was the sync? That's not the terrifying Michael I know.
- I loved it.
- Michael: Oh, thank you.
It was so jolly, and - Oh, it was so good.
- Yeah.
Well, music brings out the happiness in people.
- (laughs) - You get to have every side of you.
that must be really cool as an actor.
- You have this - I have a lot of fun by myself.
- (laughs) - (audience laughs) Michael: Oh, no,that's not what I No, that's not what I meant.
Chrissy: I do too, Michael.
(groans) Chrissy: It's okay, it's a safe zone here.
- Michael: Yeah, right? - Don't worry.
LL: All righty, then.
Michael can grab a seat in the VIP.
- All right.
- Yeah! LL: Rachel, you come on over here.
What? That got weird.
LL: All right, Rachel, what song are you doing first? Well, I am going to do "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.
- Oh, thank God! - Yeah! Nice! LL: Oh, okay! Well, ladies and gentlemen, going for the Lip Sync gold, with the Backstreet Boys "I Want It That Way," here's Rachel Bloom.
(audience cheers) ("I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys plays) Yeah You are my fire The one desire Believe when I say I want it that way But we are two worlds apart Can't reach to your heart When you say That I want it what way Tell me why Ain't nothing but a heartache Tell me why Ain't nothing but a mistake Tell me why I never want to hear you say I want it that way Now I can see that we're falling apart From the way that it used to be Yeah No matter the distance I want you to know That deep down inside of me You are my fire The one desire - You are - You are Don't wanna hear you say Ain't nothing but a heartache Whoa! (laughing) Ain't nothing but a mistake I wanna hear you say I never want to hear you say I want it that way 'Cause I want it that way.
Chrissy: Yes! (audience cheering) Damn.
(cheering continues) (Chrissy laughs) I was gonna drop the mic, but these mics are expensive.
- No, we, we - And I don't want you to get mad.
LL: No, no.
So, listen.
Chrissy, my one desire, my one desire is to hear from you right now.
Tell what did you think of that? Rachel, it was perfect, it was aggressively romantic.
- You taunted the stage with your hooha - LL: Worked that thing out.
If I were wearing underwear, it would be off.
Whoa, you're not wearing underwear? - Whoa! - Never, girl, never.
I know, I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Chrissy: Michael knows.
Michael knows.
LL: Michael knows a lot of things.
(Chrissy laughs) Michael, did that performance shake your confidence? Yes.
- (audience laughs) - (Chrissy chuckles) You look like you're shaking.
Rachel, you have a seat in the VIP booth.
LL: All right, Round 1 is done.
When we come back, twinkle toes Rachel Bloom, and heavyweight Michael Shannon enter the ring for the championship bout.
"Lip Sync Battle" is coming right back.
Tell me why Ain't nothing but a heartache ("20th Century Boy" by T-Rex plays) Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" Tonight, opposites attract.
We've got a master of drama, Michael Shannon vs.
The crazy talented, "Crazy Ex-girlfriend" Rachel Bloom.
Let's see how Rachel got ready for her big number.
This is my entourage.
- A mom.
- A mom with her child.
With her child, (woman laughing) That's great.
I will not look half as good dancing - as you do.
- No, no, no (stammering) - All that matters - 'Cause you are is that you lip sync.
You are a sex machine.
- So - (laughing) Uh, uh, uh, ah, ah.
Woman: Yes, Rachel! (cheering, applause) That was everything.
That was so good! I think God gave me these specifically to twerk against a dancer I've never met.
LL: Rachel Bloom, everybody.
- I'm putting his hands - Yeah, yes.
- are physically going on my boobs.
- Fine.
That's fine, okay great.
- Woman: Whoo! - Woman 2: Oh, my God! I'm married.
I'm married.
But he's not here.
(audience cheering) I'm bringing energy, I'm bringing confidence, I'm bringing chutzpah.
Man: Here we go.
Music.
Michael, may the best man win.
I'm a man, too.
I have a dick.
(audience cheering) ("Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry plays) You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny When I tell the punchline wrong I know you get me So I let my walls come down Down Before you met me, I wasn't right But things were kinda heavy You brought me to life, now every February You bring me Valentine - Valentine - (laughing) Let's go all the way tonight No regrets just love - We can dance - I can do it.
until we die You and I will be young forever You make me Feel like I'm living a teenage dream The way you turn me on I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch now, baby, I believe This is real, so take a chance And don't ever look back Don't ever look back I might get your heart racing In my skintight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight Let you put your hands on me In my skintight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight.
(audience claps in rhythm) (cheers and applause) LL: Yo.
Rachel: Yeah.
(laughs) - Hi.
- Damn, baby.
This is your this is your makeup department.
Your makeup department did this.
No, no, no, no.
You sure? - Oh, yeah, oh they did it.
- Oh, baby.
I slathered on some pizza grease and in three minutes this all popped up.
Ooh, baby.
- (audience laughing) - LL: Chrissy (imitating nerdy lisp) Yes? (laughs) This one time at "Lip Sync Battle" - you killed it.
- (Rachel laughs) (chuckles) (laughs) That was so great.
LL: Yo, Michael.
- Yeah? - Chrissy: Are your kids in band? Are you rattled? Well, I was in the orchestra.
- (audience murmurs) - Rachel: Oh! so it's kind of a different thing.
- What - I played the double bass.
- The big tall thing - LL: The double bass? - Chrissy: Oh, nice.
- Yeah, with the German bow.
So, this kind of action here.
Yeah, yo Mike, you got a like a, like a quiet, kinky side to you, - that's just - I really do.
(LL laughs) I really do, I it's good parenting.
(audience laughs) Your man Mike is a trip.
All right, Rachel, you grab a seat in the VIP.
Thank you.
- That was - LL: Unbelievable.
That was extraordinary.
Rachel made her Katy Perry dream come true.
When we come back, Michael Shannon is going to try and crush that dream with his own title shot performance.
"Lip Sync Battle" will be right back.
Keep it rocking.
Stay put.
You make me Feel like I'm living a teenage dream (funk music playing) (audience cheering) Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" Rachel Bloom vs.
Michael Shannon, the crazy ex vs.
General Zod.
Let's check out how Michael got ready for the ultimate performance.
I got this.
I got this! Keep clear, that's good advice.
Keep clear! Hi, how are you? - All right, how you doing? - Pleased to meet you.
- Good to meet you.
- Good.
So you know there's like Death and destruction.
Death and destruction.
Choreographer: Which you don't have to do any of this.
Michael: All right.
Jumping jacks, I can do jumping jacks.
(laughing) Just ruining my dreams.
(all laugh) I can definitely identify with this crazy ex-girlfriend stuff.
I've had to deal with that in the past.
Man: Yeah, super intense.
Awesome.
Good, nice.
That's awesome.
(knocking) Michael: Come in! - Hey! - Hello! - Wardrobe department! - What's up? How are you? Here, just a tank top.
This is all I'm wearing, right? - (laughing) - Really? You gotta show some skin.
Yeah! Woman over PA: Quiet, everyone, please.
- This is Chrissy.
- Gettin' some tips? - Oh, hey.
- Chrissy.
Pleasure, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, this is John.
- How you doing, Michael? - Hello, John.
- John's our mascot.
- Nice to meet you.
It's a pleasure.
I just hang around backstage.
I saw, you did MC Hammer.
Yes, I did.
Chrissy: Yeah, if you need any tips, don't ask John, 'cause he lost.
If you need any Okay, let's clear the stage.
Michael: So you want me to start up here? Woman: Yeah.
- You all right? - Yeah.
Is that no, seriously, does that hurt? - No, seriously - Is it better with the other hand? - No, that's totally fine.
- Okay.
- (laughs) - I think you should come out, like Oh, my God, there's been a disaster! - Yeah, yeah.
- You know what I mean? (cheering) (whooping) Stage manager: There you go, that's great.
Michael: By the time it gets to that, I don't wanna be (bleep) dragging people around the stage.
Stage manager: Oh, you don't.
Okay, let's clear the stage.
(audience cheering) Are you ready? How you doing, guys? Where am I? What is this? What's happening? Yeah! (audience cheering) ("End of the World" by R.
E.
M.
plays) That's great, it starts with an earthquake Birds and snakes and airplanes - (laughing) - Lenny Bruce is not afraid Eye of a hurricane listen to yourself churn World serves its own needs Dummy serve your own needs Feed it off an aux speak Grunt, no, strength, the ladder starts to clatter With fear fight down height Wire in a fire representing seven games And a government for hire and a combat site Left of West and coming in a hurry With the furies breathing down your neck Team by team reporters baffled, trumped Tethered, cropped Look at that low plane Fine, then Uh-oh, overflow Population common food, but it'll do Save yourself, serve yourself World serves its own needs Listen to your heart bleed Dummy with the rapture And the revered and the right Right You vitriolic, patriotic slam fight Bright light, feeling pretty psyched It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it And I feel fine The other night I tripped at Knox Continental drift divide, mountains sit in a line Leonard Bernstein! Leonid Brezhnev Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs Birthday party, cheesecake Jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic patriotic slam book neck Right? Right! It's the end of the world as we know it It's time I had some time alone It's the end of the world as we know it It's time I had some time alone It's the end of the world as we know it It's time I had some time alone And I feel fine.
Every word.
Every word.
(song ends) (audience cheering) LL: Michael Shannon.
Yo, Mike.
Mike.
We are normally so used to seeing you super reserved.
- (Chrissy laughs) - Laid back, really mellow.
We always know you're in the zone, you're having fun, but you're always so laid back and mellow.
I mean, and intense, you just seem so intense.
Who was that? - (audience laughs) - Well, I mean, that's like a dream I used to do what I just did there when I was a teenager in my bedroom when this album came out to try to keep up with the lyrics.
I mean that's what this is all about, right? (audience cheers) What I did, when was I 12 or something when this album came out? I just did that but now it's on, you know, national television.
- (audience laughs) - Chrissy - Is your head spinning after that? - Chrissy: You You have to be the only person on the planet that knows every word to that song.
- Michael: Ah.
- Everyone was in awe.
- (audience cheers) - Michael: I tried.
- Chrissy: Everybody.
- No, no.
You see - You're like - I tried.
- Every single one.
- LL: You good.
Michael, you head on over to the VIP and join Rachel, please.
(audience cheers and applauds) LL: Who will take the title tonight? When we return, LSB chooses a new champ.
Stay synced.
It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end ("20th Century Boy" by T-Rex plays) (audience cheering) Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle," Tonight two versatile and inspiring performers, Rachel Bloom and Michael Shannon.
Chrissy, it's go time, you ready? - Go time! - LL: All right.
Let's do this.
Ladies and gentlemen, is the "Lip Sync Battle" champion Michael Shannon? (audience roars) Wow.
Or is the "Lip Sync Battle" champion Rachel Bloom? (audience cheers) LL: I think the winner based on the crowd response, the "Lip Sync Battle" champion is Michael Shannon.
(audience cheers) - God! - Congrats! Oh, my God, thank you! - Chrissy: Congrats, good job.
- Oh, thank you.
- Here, here.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, look at this! - Thank you so much.
- Go to the light.
- Thank you.
- (cheering) Thank you so much.
- LL: Oh, baby.
- Woman: Yeah! Who needs an Oscar when you got this? You know what I mean? All right, Mike, Mike come here.
Come here, real quick.
So you overcame your fears.
Yes.
You had did you have fun? I yeah, I mean, I was nervous.
But I had fun.
I feel so bad, you should get one too.
(Stammers) No, no, no.
Rachel's a big girl.
- Rachel's a big girl.
- All right, all right.
LL: We would love to have you back, - would you come back? - Oh, my God.
I would come back in a heartbeat if it's a different audience who will vote for me.
- (audience laughs) - (Chrissy, LL laughing) LL: That's a laugh Chrissy: Get real.
One more time for Rachel, Rachel and Michael, y'all - (audience cheers) - All right.
From me, LL Cool J, and Chrissy Teigen, whatever you do in life, good night.
And remember, knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L! It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's time I had some time alone And I feel fine I feel fine.

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