Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007) s05e02 Episode Script

Bromancing the Imam

Amaar: And just a few announcements before we go.
(Clears throat) As we all know, Inshallah tomorrow, Sarah Hamoudi will be holding a charity book drive in the meeting room at noon.
Baber Sidiqqi will be leading a halaqa in the meeting room tomorrow at noon.
Sarah wishes to inform us that her book drive has been moved to 11:55 in the meeting room.
And, Baber's halaqa has been rescheduled for 11:54.
(Chuckling) Sarah's book drive now will start promptly at 7:00 a.
m.
Inshallah tomorrow morning in the meeting room and will now be an all-day event.
Ahh.
Baber Sidiqqi has organized a protest against inappropriate charity functions taking place in the meeting room.
That's all for today's announcements.
I want to thank you all for listening intently to my sermon on compromise and understanding.
( ) Season 5 Episode 2 Bromancing the Imam Salaam aleikum, fiancée.
Waleikum salaam, fiancé.
I have been looking forward to this all day.
Oh, is lunch at Fatima's that special? Well, it is when it's with you.
Both: (Giggling) Oh, is that ring too big? Hmm, maybe my finger's a little small.
No, no.
I'm going to get it sized, because this ring should fit your finger the way you fit my heart perfectly.
- That's a bit cheesy, isn't it? - Uh-huh.
It finally happened.
I'm a papa! Congratulations.
I had no idea.
Well, they're adopted.
Also, they're pigs.
Bessy had her litter this morning.
Great.
You know how Muslims love pigs.
Cigars for everybody.
Okay, thanks.
I'd better go and check on mama and papa and the 12 little miracles.
I named them after the disciples.
But I forgot who came after John so I switched to the Beatles.
I hope little Ringo pulls through.
having 12? I can't even imagine having one.
Wait, what do you mean? Well, just that one pig is too many.
Oh! Good.
For a second there, I thought you meant you didn't want to have any children.
It's a crazy world out there, I'm not sure that I do.
Do you know what you two want? I thought we did.
Rev.
Thorne: Amaar, my good friend.
How about some lunch? My treat.
I'm not hungry, thanks.
Ah! Yeah, neither am I.
How about we hit the court, shoot some hoops, huh? Oh, I don't think so.
Yeah, you're right.
It's too nice a day.
You know, it's the perfect day for two friends to split a pitcher of iced tea, watch the world go by.
How can I put this? I'm not interested in doing anything with you.
Ah, I think I know what it is.
It's Rayyan, isn't it? She can be a pill.
It's not about Rayyan.
It's about you.
Me? What did I do? I mean, recently.
Just cut it out with all this buddy-buddy stuff, all right? - It's not us.
- Come on.
Doesn't your religion believe in forgiveness? Or is it all just, "off with their heads"? Actually, there is a hadith that says: "A believer shall not be stoned twice out of one and the same hole.
" Ah, yes.
Of course.
Very wise.
It's the Islamic version of: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
" Right, good, yeah, the part with the hole threw me.
Come on, Amaar.
What is it going to take to make this work? You know what? I would actually have to believe you sincerely want to change.
Oh.
( ) Lord, like you on Calvary, I'm alone.
I've made mistakes, yeah, lost my way.
I need guidance, a friend.
Amaar may be a godless Muslim, but he's everything a man of God should be.
Soften his heart so that he may help me take the first steps down the road to redemption.
(Inhaling deeply) Amen.
(Approaching footsteps) That was beautiful.
Oh, Amaar! Uh, how embarrassing.
Those were my innermost thoughts, without any ulterior motive or agenda.
I feel so exposed.
Maybe that's because you're praying outside my office.
Oh! Right! I didn't even notice.
You know, I just pray where the spirit takes me.
Look, Reverend.
You can pray all you want.
But we're not friends and with all you've done, we'll probably never be friends.
Well, I-I like the sound of that "probably"! It means there's a chance.
Ahh.
Seriously, Lord, I could really use some help down here.
Maybe just point me in the right direction? Sarah: (Laughing) Oh, no! Ann: Sarah, you are a genius! You're right.
I would have more money if I gambled less.
That's what I'm saying.
You are the best friend anyone could have.
If anyone wanted to know how to be a friend, I would tell them to talk to you.
Aww, thanks.
(Sigh) A bit on the nose perhaps, but thank you.
Ahh, well if it isn't kind, thoughtful, giving, Sarah.
Oh, isn't that nice.
Wait.
I'm still mad at you.
I understand, of course you're still mad.
And what does it matter that I want to change? Hmm, good for you.
You know, you really need to.
Sorry, what did you want to talk about? I need a friend.
Okay, we need to find someone who doesn't know you.
No, I need to make Amaar my friend.
(Laughing) Wha Wait, no, no, no, wait, wait, you're serious.
Yes.
After what you did to him? Why do you want to be his friend now? Look, I I really don't have anyone in my life.
So, I thought that maybe with the spark of a human connection, I might be able to finally, you know, change for the better.
Wow.
That almost sounds noble.
Yeah, and besides, Amaar is wildly popular and getting him on my side might be a big step in winning the town back.
And on top of that, he turned me down.
And no one turns down William Thorne.
But, mostly the noble stuff.
Like 80%.
But look, I need your help, because no one knows more about being a good friend than you do.
Well, okay, I'll do it.
Really? Well, I can't turn my back on someone in need.
And neither can Amaar, which is why he's such a good Imam! Yes, and it's the perfect thing to exploit! For good.
Exploit for good.
You didn't let me finish.
Rayyan: Amaar! I thought about what you said about not having children.
Right.
Uh, about that Rayyan, look, I know the point of getting married It's okay.
I totally get it.
- You do? - Yes, and there are upsides to not having children.
You're right.
Think of the freedom.
We could travel whenever we want.
We could fly to Paris tonight.
Well not tonight, because I have appointments tomorrow.
How about next week? Next week's no good.
The point is, we can do what we want.
Yes, exactly.
We could watch a movie tonight.
A movie? We can watch as many as we like.
How about a double bill? Umm, well, I'm no good after 10:00.
One movie.
One wild and crazy movie.
I like it! Okay, my mom can chaperone.
Let's be at her house at 8:00 o'clock.
You get the movie, I'll get the pizza.
Adults only.
Deal.
Are you sure you're okay with this? Yes, I am 100%, totally, completely adorable.
(Lullaby ) Right.
Hi honey, what's new? Amaar and I want to watch a movie tonight.
- Can you make it? - Absolutely! Oh, and I want a baby.
Oh, honey! That's wonderful! Oh! But I think you should wait until you're married.
People will talk.
I told Amaar I was okay with not having children and then I saw one and I thought: "Mommy wants.
" Of course you did.
You get that from my side of the family.
We're aggressive ovulators.
Amaar doesn't want to have a kid.
Not at all.
Oh, he's just being a man.
Your dad thought he didn't want children either.
Then we lived above the Chudleighs and they had a baby.
The first time that baby grabbed his finger, he was a goner.
If only Amaar could see first-hand how great a baby can be.
Yeah, kids Can we wrap this up? I've got a little personal growth to tend to.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
- Tick-tock.
- Mom! What are you doing hanging around with him? Nothing, if he's going to be rude.
Oh, oh, right, sorry.
My fault.
It's not going to happen again.
But, but really (Huffing) This is the perfect plan.
Mmm.
He's a beauty, isn't he? He was in my office in Toronto for five years and he's finally here.
You keep calling it "he".
Well, does Leslie sound like a girl's name to you? Um Can't wait to get him into my office.
Well, you're going to have to wait.
Remember the plan.
When Amaar helps you carry Leslie into your office Boom! Instant friendship! (Whispering) He's coming! Oh.
(Effort grunts) Reverend.
Everything okay? Oh, I'm fine.
Don't worry about me.
It's just this, uh, this chair is really heavy.
I could really, really use some help out here.
- Fine.
- Thanks.
Whew.
Ah-h.
(Effort grunts) This chair isn't heavy at all.
Well, I guess everything just feels heavier when you're alone.
- Can we just move it? - Sure.
Wow.
This chair is actually quite beautiful.
Thank you.
I would love to have something like this in my office.
Don't hold your breath.
This was made by a sixth generation bodger and upholstered by the Sarduccis on St.
Clair.
You'll never find another one like it.
Right here is perfect.
Oh, look! Tea and cookies! What a pleasant, but totally unexpected surprise.
Care to sit a spell and talk of the world as men do? Amaar? What Wow, He really doesn't want to talk to you.
He's never going to be my friend.
I always say, "Never say never.
" Which is weird, - because then I have to say it twice.
- Hmm.
What can I possibly do to convince him I'm serious? Well, he really liked Leslie.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's just not fair.
( ) But it's my chair.
It's the perfect way to show Amaar you're sincere.
Couldn't I just give him cash? Everyone loves the sincerity of cash.
Besides, he must be strapped after buying this ring for Rayyan.
(Approaching footsteps) What are you doing in my office? I, uh He's giving you his chair.
Uh, I can't really accept this.
- Oh, good.
- But he insists.
- You do? - I do? I- I-I do.
I know that one gift can't right all my wrongs.
But as a sign that I'm willing to - Change.
- change, I r-really want you to have my chair.
(Tapping on chair) Well, that's, uh, very nice of you.
Um, it's almost I have to go meet Rayyan.
I'll see you there.
And, uh thanks - Rev.
- Rev.
Thorne: Yeah.
Wow, you may win Amaar over after all.
- I doubt it.
- Why? I just dropped his engagement ring into the chair.
Hey, better half, I got movie, did you get the pizza? - I got something better.
- Oh great, can I eat it now? Because I'm starving.
You can't eat it.
It's a baby.
You brought a baby to grown-up movie night.
Yeah, Amaar.
I can't lie to myself anymore.
I do want children.
So you stole one? No.
We're babysitting for the Kuzaks.
I haven't done it in years.
But it's going to be fun.
I guess I should have seen this coming.
This is your chance to see what it's like to have a real baby.
(Baby whining) ( ) (Groaning) - Hah! I can feel it - Uh-huh? just sliding out of my reach.
Darn it.
You know, I'd love to stay and help, but What? You're just going to leave me here? In my very hour of need? The very time I'm the neediest? Need o'clock? I'm sure this will all work out.
Oh, uh, when you see them, be sure to let them know how we lost the eternal symbol of their love, in the middle of one of your plans.
Fine, I'll get a stand-by chaperone.
And some tools.
Tools? We need tools? So, that was the 20th fight that I had with my wife.
That night, I put my foot down and I slept on the couch.
Well, you really showed her.
- So, nice date? - Yep.
- Movie night.
- Yep.
Are you sure Rayyan is even here? What a little angel.
Strong-willed little angel.
Healthy lungs.
Yes, he is very annoying.
You got him down okay? Oh yeah, he's still fussing but I think he'll settle soon.
Seems like a lot of work.
Oh, work? No.
I just had to feed him and change him.
And rock him, burp him, feed him, change him again, rock him and sing.
What is that stain? I'm afraid to look.
Well, at least we can watch the movie now.
We must be the only people that haven't seen "The Sixth Sense".
Oh, I love this movie! Where the man turns out to have been dead all along.
Okay.
Thanks for that.
See? Even with a baby here we can still enjoy quality time together.
(Baby's cries over monitor) Any chance that crying is coming from the movie? I think not.
(Baby wailing) Oh, come on, I just changed you.
Ready.
Where have you been? How long does it take to get a couple of tools? Come on, let's get this cushion off.
It's attached, it's part of the chair.
Not for long.
Hey, whoa, no.
What do you think you're doing? I'm cutting into chair to get the ring.
You butcher! I'll stitch it right back up.
Oh well, thank you, Mrs.
Frankenstein.
Reverend, what kind of tools did you think I would get? Some kind of delicate, chair-preserving, ring-fetching, day-saving device? Perfect.
Fire it up! I know you like the chair.
No, Leslie is more than a chair.
He's a Sarducci.
If Amaar finds out you lost his ring, he will never forgive you.
Fine.
Can you give us a moment? - Certainly.
- Okay.
(Clears throat) Um We've had some good times, old man.
Reading Yeats by the fire, writing my first sermon, the night we just stayed up and watched the rain.
Boy, you really need a friend, don't you? Just be gentle.
Of course.
I'll wait outside.
(Baby crying over monitor) Rayyan: (on monitor) What is it? Do you want your rattle? Obviously, it is not the rattle.
Amaar! I need help! Me? I don't think that's such a good idea.
Get up here! (Baby continues wailing) Baber, aren't you supposed to come chaperone? No.
I've raised babies.
Your chastity is safe.
Trust me.
Babysitting was a terrible idea.
Five minutes alone with that little darling and Amaar is never going to want to have children.
Amaar: (over monitor) Okay, little guy, I got you.
Did the lady in the hijab scare you? I can hear you! It's okay, Uncle Amaar's here.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Like Amaar's just going to walk in there, - pick up the baby, and he'll quiet right down.
- Hmm.
(Baby stops crying) Good for him.
The baby likes Amaar.
I'm glad.
Funny, because you don't look glad.
In fact, I'd say you look um, jealous.
Now annoyed.
Now furious.
I'll be quiet.
Sarah, I've been having second ah! (Clears throat, groans) I can't bear to see him like this.
I know.
But I found the ring.
Oh, good, good.
Now at least, I can have him re-upholstered.
Hang in there, pal, I can have a professional bodger here by morning.
You see I found it, but I just can't reach it.
What? The ring's still in there? Deeper than we could ever imagine.
And to get it out, - I'm just going have to use this.
- (Gasp) I see Do what you must.
W- wait! It's my chair.
I should do it.
Are you sure? I owe Leslie that much.
You were the best of us.
(Yell) I do not understand.
Isn't it obvious? Amaar's better with children than I am.
No, that is very clear.
What I do not understand is why we can't watch the movie without him.
Sorry, guys, I, uh, put the little guy down and he just reached out and grabbed my finger.
(Whispering) Oh, the finger.
Those little hands are so strong.
Yeah How about the movie? Then you know what? He just smiled at me.
And for a minute there, I forgot the big bad world.
Who cares about babies? Let's watch the man find out that he's dead.
You know what, it's getting late, we should really get going.
So soon? Well, you know how get after 10:00.
What? No movie? This has been a complete waste of time! Come on, Amaar, this date has been a total disaster.
Look, thanks for this.
It was a real eye opener.
It certainly was.
(Baby crying on monitor) (Sigh) (Grunting) Come on! Oh, I got it.
- Oh! - I got it! - Ha-ha! - Yay! It was right at the bottom, with just a thin layer of fabric to go.
What fabri Oh, I guess we could have just cut that in the first place.
Oh, Reverend, I'm really sorry about your chair.
I thought that was my chair.
Oh First, you see I like the chair, then you give it to me.
Only to go and destroy it! Congratulations, I never saw that one coming.
Amaar, I can explain You know what, Sarah, it's okay, I know it wasn't you.
I know it was all him.
- No, Amaar, please, I - Sarah, please.
I think you both should just go.
Okay.
Uh You know, it's actually - a pretty funny story - Yeah You destroyed my chair.
Well, it's not funny the way you tell it.
(Knocking on door) ( ) All sized up and ready to go.
We have a problem.
Oh, no.
Is it too small? I told him you were a generous size five.
No, no, it's perfect.
But I don't want to have children.
- What? - At least not now.
But I thought that Amaar, you saw last night.
The crying, the screaming, the constant need for attention.
Look, we don't have to invite Baber next time.
Amaar.
It's possible that I don't have the maternal instinct.
If I can't even handle it for one night Rayyan, that's now.
Look, maybe neither of us are ready.
But when the time comes, I know you're going to be a great mother.
Are you sure you're okay with waiting? Last night, that little hand grabbed your finger.
That was great.
But this is about you and me.
And whether it's now or never, baby or not, as long as we're together, you know I'm the happiest guy on the planet.
Hey Amaar, I just wanted to apologize for last night.
Look, it's okay, I know you were just trying to stop him.
Yeah, about that.
In the end, I feel sorry for him.
Because he's got to live with himself and trust me, that is a lonely place to live.
What is he holding in his hand? Sarah: I think it's some upholstery.
- He really loved that chair.
- Then why did he give it to me? Because he knew you liked it.
- Then why did he tear it up? - Well, you see, he accidentally dropped your engagement ring inside.
And if he didn't get it out, he knew you would never forgive him.
Oh, so all that he's been doing has actually been genuine.
In his own Thorne-y way.
- Great.
- What's wrong? Well, now I have to go talk to him.
Excuse me.
Rev.
Oh! Hi.
- He is going to be such a great dad.
- Really? Well look, he can handle the problem child.
Amaar, tonight is all about you, pal.
I rented "Casablanca".
- Oh, that's a great film, - Yeah.
but I'm not your pal.
Oh, then why did you come here? Well, I believe you actually want to change.
And if that's true It is.
It really is.
Well, then I'm going to try and help guide you.
If that's what you want.
Guide away.
Okay, but that's all I can promise.
For now.
I like the sound of that "for now"! Well, come on.
Here is the seat of honour, unless you'd rather - Um, no, I'm - Oh, if you insist.
Yes.
Me and Leslie.
(Satisfied grunt) You know, Amaar, - this could be the start of - Don't say it.
- Here's looking at you - Don't look at me.
- Of all the gin joints - I don't drink.
- We'll always have Pa - No, we won't.
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven
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