Living with Yourself (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

Green Tea

1 Thanks.
Thank you God for giving me my life back.
Hey, Kaylyn.
Oh, there he is.
Miles.
Ready to meet on the proofs in ten? What? Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, Miles.
Copy wants your headline and body notes.
Miles, tell Martin that one cow shouldn't be a sad cow.
I think it's noble.
Oh! Oops.
Chicken What the fuck? There he is Hey.
So, I moved up the pitch with old man Hillston to next Tuesday, all hands tomorrow to share your ideas with his team.
Got my star back.
Hey, uh, real quick.
Out of curiosity, what did you like best about my pitch? All of it.
Hey, your sister called.
Again.
Oh, and um, I didn't notice the dry cleaning upstairs.
Where did you put it? What dry cleaning? Did you hit your head? The one I rang you about a few hours ago.
Right.
Uh Sorry, no, I just I forgot.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
- Sorry.
- Are you okay? Yeah, no.
I'm just I'm just so stressed with all of this work.
Uh Hey, you're not planning on going to Vegas, are you? What? No.
Why? I got an alert from the bank.
You didn't take money out of our account, did you? Uh-uh.
- That's weird.
- Hmm.
I'll I'll take care of it.
Don't worry about it.
- Okay, I'm gonna grab a shower.
- Yeah.
We don't have to have all our friends down from the city next week if this is all a bit too much.
We can tell them we have the flu or Ebola or something.
No, it's fine.
I just I'm a little uh Just work stuff.
Sorry.
I thought I had it on vibrate.
Why'd you come back? Why did you call? I'm just gonna get you guys a green tea and Coke.
- Let me know when you're ready to order.
- I got a green tea last time.
But you wanted a Coke.
What makes you better than me? Huh? Green tea? 'Cause you know what? I've been looking at your pitch all day, I mean What? Neighbors and friends? I can't pitch this with these drawings.
- Is that a cow? - Well, no, that particular sketch is of two dairy farmers shaking hands across a stile.
- A what? - A stile.
It's a bridge that connects two pastures, connects neighbors.
- It's a metaphor.
- Oh, great.
No wonder your pitch is so cheesy.
Pool didn't seem to mind.
That's the worst part.
Oh God.
Don't make me say it.
You want help? For a week, all right? Just a week.
Just until the Hillston pitch is through.
Ah, okay.
And you take a week off? Relax? Get back to that play you've been secretly promising you'd get back to but never really do? Yeah.
I remember that, too.
- But I have a question for you.
- Why would you do it? 'Cause you want your old life back, you'll take whatever crumb you can get.
Yeah.
No, that's right.
I know you, too.
Me I-I know me too.
You You know what I mean.
But we can't tell Kate.
Ever.
Deal? Have a great day, hon.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
What do you think of the teal? What are you, a magician? Hmm.
Here.
Hey.
Just come home before she does.
Oh, finally.
So? So, what? "So what?" So, how did it go? Oh.
It went great.
Yeah.
How was the meeting with the advance team? Great.
Really? What about Pool? Great.
Yeah, she officially moved our pitch to first position.
Oh, is Dan pissed? Mm-hmm.
Very.
Says he's ready to jump in as soon as I screw up.
Of course.
Anything else? Um Well, I think Kaylyn was hitting on me.
Bullshit! Seriously? You know, you're married, right? Yeah, so? I What, I can't enjoy the fact somebody finds me attractive? You, us, attractive? She finds us attractive? - Apparently.
- Wow.
That's, um So, what you think? Same thing tomorrow? I guess so.
- Have a great day, babe.
- Oh, bye.
Mmm.
What am I doing? That's better.
Had a fun week, have you? Amazing! We're heading up to pitch Hillston next week.
Advance team is thrilled.
So is Pool.
So is everybody.
- Except Dan.
- Excellent.
Ah, that's good.
You're doing a good job.
That's great.
Amazing! How much have you had to drink exactly? Since when? Let's say this morning.
This m Uh Um, I don't know.
You do realize tonight is Kate's party? Excellent! Oh, fuck.
Oh, God.
Are you sure? So I'm thinking, "Hey, you know, my luck might change now," right? Obviously, but before I could make my move, I must have passed out in the backseat, because the next thing I know, Kate is screaming.
She's terrified of this baby bear And she she wakes up, and I hear, "Drive, drive!" So I wake up and I look around and I think to myself, "Uh, where's the steering wheel on this car?" Get into the bed.
Motherfucker.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh.
Thank you.
For what? For trying.
I've missed your stories.
I'm glad they're back.
I love you so much.
Oh.
My long lost brother.
Hey.
Uh I need to talk to someone.
Okay.
Come in.
Yeah.
So, you knew? Wait a minute.
Did he Other me did he tell you? Oh, come on.
It's funny, though.
You have to admit it's really funny.
Henry, don't you think it's funny? - What, my love? - Uh, never mind, sweetheart.
- You're doing great.
- Fuck.
I can't believe that you knew and you didn't even, you know, call me.
I believe I left you three separate voicemails.
- Oh.
- Shit.
I'm sorry.
- Right.
No.
- Hey, how's it going? - Hi.
- Henry.
Any particular reason you didn't call me back? I didn't listen to them.
Sorry.
I just I thought it was your usual - Why didn't you text me? - Shit.
He would listen to my voicemails.
He wouldn't even let it go to voicemail.
So what, you two just hang out? Yeah.
He's come over a few times.
And we talk, you know.
He asks about my projects.
You know, you're my little sister.
Half-sister.
And not so little.
Come on.
Damn it.
I actually I kind of like him.
He's better than me, isn't he? I mean, like, in everything.
With work, with you, with Kate.
Are you seriously jealous of you? Wow.
You are making incredible advances in the field of feeling sorry for yourself.
I don't get it.
Why can't I be happy for once? Because you didn't earn it.
Okay.
This play is my life.
This is my story.
These are my thoughts.
I mean, what are you thinking, huh? Are you trying to piss me off? Well, that's my story, too.
I have just as much of a right to it as you do.
Excuse me? At least it's not boring anymore.
You wrote that the lead murders someone.
- So? - So he would never do that! How do you know? Because he's me! Yeah, no wonder it's boring.
Oh, you're unbelievable.
I'm trying to make art.
Something real! No, art should be exciting, not boring.
It's not a single continuum Wait.
What Why is this boring? See, that you don't know why, that's your problem.
You're drunk on power.
- You're Dr.
Jekyll.
- No, Dr.
Jekyll was the sane one.
You mean Mr.
Hyde.
You should pick up a book sometime.
I'm gonna do that pitch.
I'm gonna kill it.
You're gonna see that I killed it, and then you're gonna get on a plane to Fiji or wherever and go! Hey.
Going to bed? No, not yet.
Do you want me to wait up? That's all right.
Man of the hour.
You win this, I might have to rethink who gets that promotion.
- Good afternoon.
- Oh.
Mr.
Hillston.
Charcuterie.
- Right from my farm.
- It's wonderful.
Try it.
You're all very skinny.
Thank you, my dear.
- Ms.
Pool.
- Mr.
Hillston.
Ten years ago, I hired one of the brightest minds in the business.
A branding bard, a storyteller to the people.
A gold pencil winner.
But what he has for you today is some of his best work.
Miles.
Hillston.
Your neighbor and a friend.
And your f F And your friend.
We know you.
Listen, I'm a very simple man.
Just say what you have to say.
It's all about connection.
Neighbor to neighbor.
Doctor to patient.
Dentist to patient to patient.
Also to patient.
It's It's not just a telecom company that's regional.
It's love.
The I think this will uh, explain it best.
Oh! We did prepare a second pitch.
- It's not as fleshed out - I like it.
I like it.
The campaign is yours.
Oh! And if it succeeds, I'll bring you on as our lead marketing company.
- Oh, God! - I would like to talk to Miles, alone.
Of course.
Sorry, I was a I was a little nervous.
Mangalitsa.
Mangalitsa is a rare breed of pig.
Brought it over from Hungary.
Nothing like it in the entire world.
Here.
Try some.
Here.
Try it.
Come come on.
You're gonna love it.
Hey, yeah.
You know, uh I was wondering how you came up with this pitch of yours? There were times you seemed a little hesitant, like maybe the words were not your words.
Hmm? Your boss says you're a great storyteller.
I'd like to tell you a funny story about when I was a boy during the war in the concentration camps.
Would that be all right? Hmm? Yeah, of course.
You see I was in Birkenau.
And there never was enough food there.
But we were a bunch of rascals.
We would eat anything garbage, rats, dead rats.
But if you could find a piece of bread, some meat, ooh One day, the guards called a line up for all the children in the camp, because a Jewish child had stolen a ration.
Which meant that another Jewish child would not be eating that night, which is very sad.
But you see, I knew who did it.
So I took my little hand and I pointed to this eight-year-old zsivány, this naughty boy.
He was always getting in trouble.
Anyway, they marched him out and they blew out his brains, right there in front of me.
But that's not the funny part of the story.
Would you like to hear the funny part? Hmm? The funny part is how I knew who had stolen the food.
I knew because I had stolen it.
So, you see I don't mind a cheater.
But if you're gonna cheat, do it right.
And however you came up with that campaign of yours, don't stop.
Hmm? Have some pork.
You're very skinny.
Hello? Congratulations, superstar! We got a tower of shrimp with your name on it.
Come on.
Roll down your window.
So, I'm trying so hard, too hard, to impress her with this elaborate camping trip, and everything is just going wrong.
I mean, it's It's sweltering hot, we're being eaten alive by mosquitoes.
The universe decides to just open up and pour down rain.
I see the I see the tent.
Do you remember that? I see the tent wash away.
"Bye, tent!" So we're running over to the car.
We're getting out of our wet clothes.
Before I could make my move, I, uh, fall asleep in the back seat of the car.
Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
And then, I remember, she screams.
She's terrified because of this baby bear.
And she's shouting, "Drive! Drive!" So I wake up, I look around, and I think to myself "Where's the steering wheel on this car?" No? Well I guess it's funnier when he tells it.

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