Lodge 49 (2018) s01e03 Episode Script


1 DUD: And so, that I may someday see that which is hidden, I submit myself as Squire to the Order.
ASSEMBLY: Obscurum per obscurius.
DUD: And I Uh, shit.
I, um God.
Sorry, I Hold on.
And I vow.
I vow.
And I vow to abide in silence and mystery, and and And I vow to abide in silence and mystery and accept the exile our knowledge requires.
ASSEMBLY: Lux et tenebris.
[CHIME SOUND PLAYS] - [WATER TRICKLES] - Your oath is sealed, and - What the hell? - We got a busted pipe somewhere.
Thought I saw another leak in the men's room.
Don't look at me.
This is your area of expertise.
- I'm not a plumber.
I'm a salesman.
- Whatever.
[WHISPERING] You know we shouldn't be doing this anyway.
SCOTT: It's not official without the Sovereign Protector.
You heard the message.
I'm in charge until Larry gets back.
Your oath is sealed, and your path is waiting.
As above.
So below.
Alright, man.
You're official.
[APPLAUSE] BLAISE: Let's take a picture.
We can put it in the newsletter, in case we ever do another one of those.
[CHUCKLES] It kind of feels like we just got married.
- [LAUGHS] - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] DUD: This place used to be packed.
BLAISE: It was a golden age.
For white guys with crew cuts.
I bet most of those guys worked in aerospace.
- This is Larry's mom.
- Really? Yeah, she was Sovereign Protector here for a few years.
Larry pretty much grew up in the Lodge.
LARRY: Hey, sorry I took off like that.
I I hate hospitals, and I hate doctors.
I'm back home now, and I'm taking a little sovereign sabbatical.
You know the drill.
No calls or visits, unless it's an emergency.
Ernie, it's your show until I'm back.
[BEEP] How many times are you gonna listen to that? Well, don't you think something's off? I mean, what is he doing? And why is he getting all this mail from China? Larry's been on sabbaticals before.
Well, I got a weird feeling about it.
Cop intuition, you know? I am glad London's coming.
If Larry has lost it, they are gonna put things in order.
[SIGHS] Hope this place doesn't collapse while I'm gone.
Where you going? Uh, me and a couple of guys from work, we're gonna take the Sea-Doos out to the river.
What about the Scout breakfast? Connie's gonna cover for me.
I just want to say well done, Dud.
Are you ready to order? MAN: Uh, I don't see the St.
Patrick stir fry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's a seasonal item.
Uh, could you ask the chef to make it? - [ALARM BLARING IN DISTANCE] - The chef? Yeah.
I mean, if you guys have the ingredients back there, it's [BLARING CONTINUES] [SIGHS] [BIRDS CHIRPING] [GASPS, GROANS] Oh, my So, how was it? Did they sodomize you in a dungeon? Oh yep.
And then we had pizza.
Lizard, you should come down, okay? You can put drinks on my tab.
So, you're a Squire now? Oh, yeah.
Does that come with a salary? Oh, my God.
That's right.
Brother Drag and Sister Nag together again.
I've been checking in with Temp Joy every day.
No, you've been sitting around all week reading.
Well, yeah.
You know, it's an adventure of the mind.
You owe me three grand.
Don't forget that.
- [DOOR CLOSES] - Love you.
Hey, Ross.
Yeah, yeah, I remember, from from from Temp Joy.
Yeah, I guess I'm free.
I spent my entire dream at work.
There was nothing weird happening.
It was just like this.
Maybe you're dreaming now.
CHAMP: I'm working two jobs right now.
I dream about both.
- It's a basic feature of capitalism.
- Oh.
You can't get loose, even on weekends.
You know, you reach the citadel, the man in the tower shoots you dead.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
You need some different colors in here.
And different shapes.
I'm gonna send you to my apothecary.
[SOBS, SNIFFLES] Are you from Temp Joy? Yeah, I'm Sean Dudley.
I'm supposed to talk with Gloria.
That's me.
I'm head of HR.
You must be one of the last people on their list.
I've had three temps quit on me this week.
I don't know why.
It's the easiest job in the world.
A child could do it.
All you do is collate the colored sheets and put them in the folder like you see here.
Do you think you can handle that? Yep, pretty sure I can.
Uh, what are What are these? Termination packets.
Tell us of the elements that all things share [DOORBELL RINGS] [DOOR BUZZES] Fire, water, earth, and air Fire, water, earth, and air BLAISE: Hello! What may I help you with? Uh, Gerson sent me.
Gerson? Oh, yeah! That kid is really plugged in.
Let's get you set up.
How may I assist you in your healing process? I just want to get high.
That is healing.
Are these items recreational? Of course.
Insofar as they allow us to "re-create" ourselves, get back in touch with our subconscious.
Now, modern man lives on the surface How much for the lollipops? Those are $15 each.
Are you serious? You're paying for quality.
That's my own blend.
And as I grow The Earth below Explains where the rains come from From clouds that borrow joy and sorrow That's where the rains come from [SIGHS DEEPLY] Mmm.
MAN: Liz? Hi, Monsignor.
What brings you here? Well, I got a burrito from the truck across street, and then I wandered in here.
- Liz, are you high? - Yes.
Any chance you came in here thinking about your dad? It's time to do a memorial service.
It's pointless.
Dud's not ready.
He can't handle it.
He needs the closure.
You both do.
[SCOFFS] Don't worry about me.
I am good.
You and Dud have gone your own way, and that's fine, but your dad was a beloved member of this parish.
His friends deserve a chance to say goodbye.
Monsignor, I Like, I appreciate the thought, I really do, but I have other things to worry about.
We can take a special collection in his name, donate it to whatever charity you want.
Oh, it's gotta be the secretary, right? Her alibi was bullshit.
No, no, no, no, no.
They already cleared her through DNA evidence.
Come on.
Get your head in the game.
Let's go.
- [CHUCKLES] - What's this one called again? "The," like, Pro Pro "Proceduralist" or something? The "The Proceduralist"? [LAUGHING] What are you talking about? You're wasted.
[LAUGHS] I am wasted.
I need to go to bed.
Oh, yeah? Okay.
Alright, you know what? I'm gonna go to bed, too Oh because I am a working stiff now, - so Mm.
- It's a good start.
Yeah, and now I can finally pay Burt back, which is, like [CHUCKLES] such a relief.
You mean pay me back.
Uh, actually, um, I meant to tell you, I had to take another loan out to join the Lodge, so Yeah.
You took out another loan? Jesus! How many times do I have to bail you out? No, no, no, no.
Liz, it's not like that.
See, I'm a made man at Temp Joy.
So I got a steady income.
I can pay you back eventually.
Dud, it scares me how much you're like Dad.
- What? - You don't think about tomorrow.
No, you're just gonna bounce along until it's too late.
Too Too late? Too late for what? You know, I saw Monsignor Guzman today.
He wants to do a memorial for Dad.
I said no because it would be too hard for you.
But, uh, I'm gonna call him back and see if he can set up something for Saturday because you have to do this, Dud.
It's time to say goodbye.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
I feel like you're doing this just to piss me off.
I'm doing this for my own reasons.
All you need to do is show up.
[SIGHS] That was fast.
I appreciate it.
That was fal'll sort out the warranty for you.
Hey, Ken Boyle told me you bid that project - Captain's doing in Torrance.
- Mm-hmm.
Did you actually talk to him? Captain? [LAUGHS] Not even close.
I talked to a guy who was working the architect.
Do you think Captain's using the same architect for the Orbis redevelopment? - Orbis? - Uh-huh.
Damn, Ernie, straight to the top, cutting out the middle man.
I'm in the middle of the middle men, man.
What? I don't know.
The name I heard was Kaplan.
Apparently, he does hotels.
The guy I talked to said he's in the, uh, Winger building downtown.
Ah, that's a good start.
[THUD] You're You're screwing me.
Does that make you feel good? GLORIA: This is the best offer you're going to get.
What are you doing here? Hey.
Temp job.
Ah, smart.
Temps are the only ones with job security.
I'll see you around the Lodge.
[GROANS] [BELL DINGS] - Liz! Good to see you.
- Mm.
- Want some coffee? - No.
I wanted to let you guys know that I talked to Monsignor Guzman, and we're having a memorial for Dad on Saturday.
That's great news.
It'll be good for you guys.
Yeah, closure.
That's what it's all about.
It's gonna be at 4:00 in the church.
If you could help get word out around the parish, that would be great, and let everyone know that we're taking up a special collection.
I want to make a big donation to Heal the Bay in Dad's name.
- You got it.
- Great.
Do you have a minute? Yeah.
Actually, I'm glad you're here.
Um, I need to talk to you about something.
About what? Uh, you first.
I've been thinking I'd love to do a feature series on the Orbis closedown.
It's not really news anymore.
I know, but it's still a big story in terms of the history of Long Beach.
First we had oil, then we had aerospace.
- What next? - [CHUCKLES] Don't worry.
I'm still working on the - The seal story - Oh.
but this Hear me out.
I'm thinking a-a series of local profiles.
Nothing lyrical, I promise.
I know a lot of these guys.
I see something in their faces.
It's this mixture of pride and fear and they just look totally lost, you know? I think I can capture that.
Yes, ab Yep.
- Okay! [LAUGHS] - Okay.
[LAUGHING] That's great.
So, what did you want to talk to me about? We are letting you go.
[LAUGHS] Uh, you know, with the the buyout, we're doing this big re-brand, pivot-to-video thing, and there's Well, there's There's no way around it.
You're serious? Yeah, and I'm sorry.
Um here is a press release with more info.
[CLEARS THROAT] [INHALES DEEPLY] "In an age of accelerated transformation," our mission is to become an industry leader in the curation, optimization, "and monetization of hyper [LAUGHING] content" - What does thateven mean? - Just, you know, things are, uh Things are moving fast, so Anyway, on a personal note, I will, uh I will really miss your stories about the old newsrooms.
And, uh uh What are you doing? I'm making a private call.
Get out.
- [RINGING] - This This is my office.
- ERNIE: Hey! What's up? - I just got canned.
What? Why? Uh, my my ass has been optimized.
What the hell does that mean? Means I'm coming over this weekend.
Why do you have tape on your fingers? Paper cuts.
Thanks for these.
You're doing good work.
I appreciate it.
Well, a child can do it, and so can I.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry if I've been a little Everyone's pissed about their severance.
It's not what they were expecting.
They get to yell at somebody.
That's a gift.
We've been closing down for five years, building by building, department by department.
People call me the Angel of Death.
No, that's not fair.
You're just doing your job.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] - There are you are! Thank God! - What? I've been calling and calling.
They're waiting to start.
- This looks really bad for me.
- I'm sorry.
I think Don't be sorry.
Just get in there.
- Ooh! Is this our guy? - Yes.
We'll do intros later.
Captain, our geologist is here.
We can get started.
Let's make it quick.
Do you want a water? Water would be great.
Thank you.
Ah, take a seat.
So, like I was saying, D-Day is coming up pretty fast.
The billboards are ready.
We've kept them enigmatic, which will get people talking, right, Leo? Uh, yeah.
It's this new thing I invented.
- I call it "marketing.
" - [LAUGHTER] There you go.
[LAUGHS] Are the timelines still good for you, Captain? Uh, yeah.
I'm in the desert the rest of the month, but I'll be working the phones.
I want to make sure our presentations are on point.
We'll start from the ground up.
Environmental impact report.
- [LAUGHS] Me? - Mm-hmm.
I don't know where to start.
LEO: You don't have to be nervous.
Parker recommended you.
- We trust Parker.
- Okay, here's the thing [CHUCKLES] I don't know Parker, and I'm not a geologist.
- What? - [MURMURING] - Then who are you? - Um I'm really sorry, but I think I kind of crashed your meeting by mistake.
I thought you guys were just building a hotel over there, but this looks like an amazing project.
I would love to be a part of it.
My company, West Coast Super Sales, reps a toilet line that I think would be great for this.
Toilets? We rep over 20 plumbing lines Faucets, drains, whatever you need.
[LAUGHS] Captain, I would love to sit down and talk with you [LINE CLICKS, MUSIC PLAYS] about West Coast Super Sales.
This is a private meeting.
You have no right to be here.
Please escort this gentleman out.
ERNIE: I'll leave my line card.
It has all my info on it.
Call me, and we'll get together, and we'll talk about West Coast Super Sales and this great project that you're doing.
Someone get Captain back on the line.
- Good lord! - Sorry.
- [DOOR CLOSES] - How did you get in here? Um, Ernie gave me a-a-a key.
Um, but the The bar doesn't open officially until 6:00.
Yeah, yeah.
"Bruno and the Hermetic Tradition.
" [CHUCKLES] Heavy stuff.
[LAUGHS] - Countless heavens, countless suns.
- Yeah.
I'm trying to wrap my head around it, that and a bunch of other things.
Uh, what's all the stuff for? Oh, the emissary's coming from London, so I thought I'd clean the Sentinel Suite.
Oh, the Sentinel Suite? What's What's the Sentinel Suite? [DOOR CREAKS] Come on.
I'll show you.
[CHUCKLES] Most Lodges have a suite.
Uh, Sovereign Protectors stay in them on their Grand Tour.
And Knights can use them on their travels.
[GROANS] It smells, uh [SNIFFS] It smells kind of bad in here.
Yeah, that mold.
There's water damage.
That's why I got this Bay Leaf Irish Moss on sale at CVS.
I don't even know where to begin.
Uh, you know, I'm I'm happy to do the cleaning.
Okay, uh, there's fresh linens in here, and there's a broom right there.
That's Yeah! Uh, just make sure you sweep up the - The cockroach husks, alright? - Yep, yep.
Got it.
Uh, before I go, I have a strange request.
BLAISE: Oh, wow! Look at that.
[GROANS] What What kind of doctor are you again? Uh, I studied Osteopathic Manipulative Therapy at Lancers University in Scottsdale, - but my degree means nothing to me.
- [CHUCKLES] And not just because the school lost its accreditation.
[INHALES SHARPLY] It's strange that it hasn't healed.
Yeah, well, there wasn't much they could do about the nerve damage.
There's a herpetologist I know I could talk to.
No, no need.
I haven't been sexually active in months.
Um, the toenails Is that because of the the venom? Uh, no no, separate medical condition.
Uh, it's genetic.
It's fungus.
- My sister and I both have it.
- Huh.
- Yeah.
- [SNIFFS] Well, okay.
Um I'll do some research.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER] - Hey! - There he is.
A beer and a shot.
Ah, beer always tastes better after a long, hard day of work, huh? Did you work today? Yeah.
Temping over at Orbis.
[LAUGHS] Give this man another round.
In a few years, that building will be a condo.
- Well, is that good? - It could be.
Weekend plans? [INHALES SHARPLY] Nope.
Don Fab fixed the karaoke machine, so that's on for Saturday.
Uh, way to go, Don! Plus the big Scout breakfast is Sunday morning, so big weekend.
Big weekend, yeah.
Uh, actually [CLEARS THROAT] my sister and I are having a memorial service for my dad on Saturday.
- That's what I'm doing.
- Oh.
Wasn't that a year ago? Yeah, but, uh, we were waiting for the body to you know wash up on shore, and it And it never did, so Never got around to having a funeral.
That happens in the Navy.
Guys fall off the ship, disappear.
You search, then you call off the search.
Full fathom five.
Full what? The ocean, man.
That's That's all.
Well, um if you guys want to come on Saturday, it's at, uh, St.
Fergus at 4:00.
I would but I've got plans for the weekend.
I can't.
No worries.
It's really not a big deal, okay? [LAUGHS] Obviously, it's not a very fun weekend activity.
[LAUGHS] I can make it.
[SIGHS] Pinball? Yeah.
The water in my pool is green.
Sorry, what? S-Sorry.
T-The résumé Temp Joy sent over - said you worked on pools.
- Yeah.
Do you have any recommendations? Uh, it's algae bloom.
You got a water-circulation problem.
You got to check the filters.
Thank you.
[SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE, HORN HONKS] I started here as a temp Oh.
20 years ago.
You must've really liked it.
I met my husband here.
He was an engineer.
Oh, did he get laid off? No.
[LAUGHS] He quit and moved to Texas.
Is there any chance you could work this weekend? W-We're We're still trying to catch up.
Yeah, oka Okay.
U-Um but I-I got to be out of here by 3:00 tomorrow, 'cause I got a thing.
No problem.
I'll let Temp Joy know.
See ya.
[SOBS] It's okay.
It's okay.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I wish you had told us, Liz.
I would've recommended somebody for you to talk to.
I'm working a double Saturday, but I'll try to sneak away.
Oh, yeah, and I'll talk to the staff.
And you should definitely take Saturday off.
No, I'll come in for the lunch rush, and tell everyone about the special collection.
[BIRDS CHIRPING] I can't wait for Larry to get back Start planning my Grand Tour.
He can tell Scott to stand down.
Does Scott actually think Larry might make him Sovereign Protector? What did I tell you? I don't want to talk about any of that.
I know, but at some point, if I do the Grand Tour in the winter [ECHOING] maybe that would give you enough time to do what you need to do.
[NORMAL VOICE] Then you can meet me wherever you want.
Forget it.
It's Saturday.
We've got the whole day together.
It's fine.
Go take a shower.
[SIGHS] [ENGINE SHUTS OFF] [KEYS JINGLE] [SIGHS] Same time tomorrow? Yes.
Oh, hey.
Um [SIGHS] About my pool, I-I tried, but I don't think Is there any chance you could take a look? Uh I'm sorry.
I know you said you had something You had someplace you had to go.
No, it's not important.
ERNIE: Hey, it's me again.
I'm kind of freaking out here, so just give me a call.
Alright? Alright, take care.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES] [SIGHS] [CAT MEOWS] - [CAT PURRS] - [SIGHS] DUD: My dad started off digging pools, and he said that when people put a pool in back in the day, they'd put in a bomb shelter on the sly.
[CHUCKLES] How cool is that? There's probably, you know, bomb shelters all over town.
[CHUCKLES] I never swim in it anymore.
[SIGHS] You're sweet, but my mom isn't all there.
She still likes looking at the water.
[SIGHS] Okay.
Well, let's see what we got.
[GRUNTS] Let's see if we can see what the problem is here.
Oh, yeah.
[BIRDS CHIRPING] What are you smiling about? Nothing.
I guess you're flaking on your dad's memorial.
Have fun regretting that the rest of your life.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] So, you're Dud's twin sister? - This is weird.
- Is it? - How do you know Dud? - The Lodge.
Are you the, uh, Luminous Knight? I'm Ernie.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
You can put donations in here.
Where's Dud? LIZ: Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
Oh, we're actually taking up Ohh.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, you got something obstructing the T.
My husband used to clean the pool himself.
All he did was complain about what a hassle it was.
[GRUNTS] Oh, I got it.
Well, see, here's your problem.
Um - Oh.
- Uh Uh I-I'll see you at the office tomorrow.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] PAUL: Bill was always a good neighbor and a great friend.
I never saw him without a smile on his face - [DOOR OPENS] - even with the pressure he was under Raising Dud and Liz on his own, running a business.
[SIGHS] He made it work somehow.
PAUL: He loved Long Beach, and he loved the water.
I miss seeing him in the mornings coming back from the beach.
Thank you.
Liz, would you? Dud? Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
I remember one day last year.
It was right before I went down on my trip to Nicaragua.
I surfed in the morning, I worked all day, barbecued with Liz and Dad at the house.
It was perfect but I didn't realize it was perfect until later.
You know, for this whole past year, I just felt like I felt like that day was gone forever, along with my dad.
Saying goodbye Saying goodbye It seemed like the hardest thing to do in the world.
But now Now I realize I don't have to say goodbye, because time is an illusion.
See, we think of time as a one-way, irreversible process.
Like, okay, say you have a log, and, you know, you set it on fire, and it burns down to ash and and a-and there's n-no gettin' it back, right? Unless unless you're an alchemist.
The magnum opus, that's what it's all about.
The truly great alchemists know how to control matter and energy.
It allows them to access eternity.
Like they're sitting above the maze.
No past, no future, - just the eternal moment of paradise.
- Dud And everything that we think is gone is still here.
It's right in front of us, and that's what alchemy teaches us to do.
It teaches us to access those hidden worlds.
Countless heavens, countless suns, like Bruno said uh, until the Pope burned him alive for heresy.
That's I'm not blaming you, Monsignor.
Times were different back then.
Um, anyway, I-I'd just like to thank my new friends at the Lynx Lodge for helping me understand all this.
And it's possible.
It's possible to touch the sublime.
Like today I saw a vision of my dad in a scummy pool, and then I pulled a dead rat out of a pipe, and then it came back to life, you know? And, you know, maybe there was an air pocket in there or something or whatever, but either way, I ended up with a hard-on.
[CHUCKLES] And No, but that's not You know, that's not what, um, I me I mean.
That's neither here nor there.
Uh sorry.
Look, w-what I'm trying to say is that we don't need to do all this.
We don't need to say goodbye, because my dad's still here.
So thanks for coming out.
- What was all that shit? - It was blasphemy.
Dud, you sounded crazy.
I was just offering a different perspective.
Alchemy's no crazier than the Resurrection - or Transubstantiation.
- What? Who are you? Who are you, and why does the Church think they have all the authority? I don't know.
Maybe a little thing called Apostolic Succession.
- Sorry about this.
- Yeah, walk away.
- It was a nice service.
- Uh, Liz, next time you come into the shop, I've got something for your toenail fungus.
Hey, you should come down to the Lodge later.
It's karaoke night.
- Oh! I-I can take that.
- It's fine, Liz.
I'll deposit it and send a check.
No, I-I'd rather do it myself.
- For our records, we need to - Just give me the money.
I'll do it.
Honey? Hey.
I'm sorry that took so long.
I drove as fast as I could.
Was it a bad one? Yeah, where'd it happen? I was out running errands.
Everyone's trying to get it right [CHEERING] Listen, man, there's no secrets, no hidden worlds out there.
That's not what the Lodge is all about.
Then what's the Lodge about? Whoo! Everybody's working for the weekend That's what it's about Big Ben, ace mechanic, bodywork.
If you get dinged, go see him.
Uh, Anita.
She's been teaching 5th grade for 30 years.
Every kid in North Long Beach loves her.
And, uh, Don Fab He's a musical genius.
He was Eddie Money's rhythm guitar - on the "Where's the Party?" tour.
- Wow.
- [CHEERING] - You better start from the start - Who's Eddie Money? - You wanna be in the show It ain't me It ain't me I ain't no senator's son, no - It ain't me - Whoo! - It ain't me - Yeah! I ain't no fortunate one, no [CHEERING] Uh, I guess I'll call a cab.
Screw it.
I'm sleepin' on the floor.
Oh, it's It's the Sentinel Suite.
I cleaned it.
ERNIE: Come on, lightweight.
Ahh, yeah.
- Yeah! - There we go.
[SIGHS] [INHALES, EXHALES SHARPLY] Doesn't it smell good in here? Irish Bay Leaf Moss or some shit.
How'd you know that? Uh I-I forgot to take my shoes off.
Ooh! Hello, toes.
[LAUGHS] - Hm.
- [BED CREAKS] Whoa, whoa! - [THUD] - [GRUNTS] Dud? Dud? DUD: [MUFFLED] Ernie, you gotta see this! [BED CREAKS, THUDS] Hey.
I think I'm in another room.
[SIGHS] Oh, yeah.
[CLATTERING, BELLS RING] [GASPS] Breathe In your sky See With open eyes [VOCALIZING]