Lodge 49 (2018) s02e02 Episode Script

The Slide

1 Sean Dudley, I'm here to give you money.
Good luck with Dr.
Kimbrough.
You're going to shred everything.
Whatever problems you got, figure it out on your own.
"You ever need me, just pick up the phone, 'cause I'm your friend.
" - Do you want a break? - No way.
I'm a road man.
London has put us under probation, so I am calling in everyone's bar tabs.
[CROWD MURMURS] I was hoping you would be my apprentice.
Yes! I wanted to come in and offer my services.
We know how to run a business.
- [HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING] - MAN: The backup is for miles.
- Again, they're saying - Mm.
Captain Phil that's a great gig.
All those beautiful vistas.
I mean, the 405, it's a majestic river.
You know, it's the Nile of SoCal.
It's a parking lot.
Well, Captain Phil said that there was a fatal accident on the 110 interchange, so How long has Captain Phil been doing the local news? Uh, I don't know.
Longer than we've been alive.
Captain Phil's seen it all.
You know, when Mom died, it must've cause horrible traffic on the 710.
I bet Captain Phil reported on that.
Jesus, Liz.
What? I'm just saying.
Somewhere in the Channel 6 archives, there's a traffic report, and it's about Mom.
Yeah, okay.
Liz, I'm kind of worried about you, you know? Yeah, me too, baby.
Uh, don't call me "baby".
It makes me want to puke on your face.
Yeah, Bobby.
Stay out of it.
When's he gonna leave, alright? He keeps using up all the hot water.
I need to get the full effect of my body wash.
It's made from seaweed.
Well, I should go get in traffic.
I don't want to miss a minute with Dr.
Kimbrough.
If the job's getting you down, don't be afraid to talk to Ross, okay? You need to be climbing the corporate ladder.
Mm.
No.
I did that.
Now I'm just sliding down the chute.
LIZ: And you know what? It's kind of fun.
[SIGHS] What's your plan? How are you gonna lug all this around? Oh, um, Ernie.
Yeah, he was kind of an asshole to me the other night, and he asked if he could do anything to make up for it, so he's gonna drive me around to my huntin' grounds.
Uh-huh.
And then what? Then, um, I knock on people's doors, and I say, "I'll clean your pool cheaper than those Pool Party dickheads.
" And then they say, "Okay!" You know? It's just, like, you know, basic economics, Liz.
You set the price, let the invisible hand of the market tickle their balls.
BOBBY: Hey, baby, listen.
I'm gonna make you a vegetable stir-fry tonight lots of little colors in there.
Text you a list of ingredients.
[DOOR SLAMS] [EXHALING SHARPLY] How's your leg feeling today, bro? I'm not your bro.
Brah.
[EXHALING RAPIDLY] Ha! L.
MARVIN METZ: Stone, using his own hand as a makeshift silencer, fired six rounds into Olaf's shiny, bald head.
Ohh.
End of Chapter 2.
[SCOFFS] Come on.
[LAUGHS] Oh, my God.
Man, that's [EXHALES SHARPLY] Hey, uh, I really appreciate you giving me a ride.
You know, between this and my shark money, you know, I should be able to get my car back pretty soon.
So, you're just knocking on doors, huh? Cold-calling.
Man, it's brutal.
[SCOFFS] Tell me about it.
I mean, I never really had to deal with this part of the business, you know? My dad always took care of it.
Or didn't.
Hey, you got any sales advice? [LAUGHING] I'm not the guy you should be asking.
I'm not exactly setting the world on fire right now.
What are you talk You're Ernie! You're made of fire! Okay? Don't worry.
You're gonna be alright.
- One thing.
- Mm? If you have to ask for a sale, it's probably too late.
So just go there to be there, if that makes sense.
Go there to be there.
That's what it's about.
[SIGHS] [KNOCKING ON DOOR] JOCELYN: Scott? Ah, there he is.
Oh, I had no idea you were in.
Oh, no, I'm taking a few days off.
Hey, listen.
I've been thinking.
We shouldn't get square with London.
We should exceed their expectations.
[CHUCKLING] Um, well, that's a very noble goal.
But it'd be a bit of a challenge, given our resources.
No, no, no.
We We need to think big.
This place can be great again, and and I'm the man to do it.
I really believe that.
What did you have in mind? Well, um we Uh, okay.
I di I didn't have any specific ideas.
Yet.
But But I thought, uh, maybe we could start with, uh Light bulbs! The money-saving fluorescent kind.
Um absolutely.
[SHREDDER WHIRRING] This is what I'm saying.
You can't trust the homeless.
They're all making thousands of dollars a day.
Thousands of dollars? Oh, come on.
Begging is a racket.
Th-There's a guy, uh, at the Lakewood on-ramp.
He actually lives in a beautiful house in Belmont.
- I know that for a fact.
- Uh-huh.
The guy in the wheelchair? - Mm-hmm.
- With the droopy lip? Oh, would you please open your eyes? It's a It's a mafia.
They should all be in prison.
How do you know all this? [SHREDDER WHIRS] I have a PhD, okay? Do you have a PhD? No.
No.
Because? Because you're a temp.
- I am a temp.
- Okay? - [TELEPHONE RINGS] - Aah! Do not answer that.
That is probably my mother, and she wants another pound of flesh.
[INHALES SHARPLY] [RINGING CONTINUES] Yeah.
Dr.
Kimbrough's office.
She called me a "toad whore" and hung up.
She's playing mind games.
Well.
It It never It never ends.
I need a I need a cheer-up.
[GROANS] Could you, um go wash my Mercedes? And then, uh And then and then bring me back a really nice lunch.
Don't ask.
Just be.
Don't ask.
Just be.
Don't ask.
Just be.
Don't ask.
Just be.
[DOOR KNOCKER BANGING] Don't ask.
Just Dud? Mr.
Dwyer, can I clean your pool? Aw, shit! It's already too late.
For what? For [SIGHS] Uh Is Pool Party already servicing your pool? Well, uh, I'd just like to let you know that Dudley & Son, we're back Well, uh, it's just Son now, so just me.
Uh, we're back in I mean, I'm [CHUCKLES] back in business.
And I'd like to let you know that I can clean your pool for half the quality and twice the pri er, half Uh, for twice the Aah! For half the qu price and twice the quality.
[SIGHS] The side gate's open.
Really? [LAUGHS] Blue for the blue I feel when I'm feeling down In the ground, feeling down That could be most any day Green for the eyes, take a look around When the sun goes down And the sun goes down in the strangest way Red for the light, gotta stop this thing Find a song to sing That is everything that I meant to say I meant to sa-a-a-a-a-a-y Mm.
[GROANS] Three for the mice that are blind like the world Never see the good that's done the bad It's too late to see Two of us make it easier To read the signs, memorize the lines Won't you stay with me? Go, Dud! Ahhhhhhh [BIRDS CHIRPING] The afternoons to come and those that have been are all one, inconceivably.
They are a clear crystal, alone and suffering, inaccessible to time and its forgetting.
They are They are the mirrors of that eternal afternoon that is treasured in a secret heaven.
And ugh.
I don't know.
I forget the rest.
Do I lose points? MELINDA: There are no grades here.
- Who wrote that, anyway? - A fellow Lynx.
He belonged to Lodge 22 in Buenos Aires.
Okay, let's hear Merrill's verse on light and memory.
Sorry.
I didn't really have time to get into that.
I spent the last couple nights out with Clara.
You two are becoming thick as thieves.
It's nice to have a normal conversation with someone.
Not that this isn't lovely.
Reciting poems in a basement.
Blindfolded.
With you.
Whoever you are.
How do you know this is the basement? What? You don't have to keep coming here.
You said you were serious about getting over your writer's block.
I am.
But this isn't helping.
That's because writer's block is a symptom, not the problem itself.
This is a threshold moment, and soon you'll have to confront the real thing.
Confront what? Could you at least try to be a little more clearer? - Come back in a few days.
- Ugh! So, what do I owe you? Forget it.
There's no charge.
And I'll clean your pool for free if you let me come back next week.
You bet.
[CHUCKLES] Great.
Thank you, Mr.
Dwyer.
Can I give you some lemons, at least? ERNIE: Hey, Speedy, you got any of those warranty sheets for Dawson ball cocks? I got more defectives.
BOB: Hey, Ernie! Beautiful Jeff played paintball with the guys from Tento Pipe.
Nine confirmed kills, and he brought in a big order.
BEAUTIFUL JEFF: You want to know how you close a deal, Ernie? You put a gun in a man's mouth, and you make him beg for his life.
Hold on.
Did you actually do that to Walt? No.
But after the game, we went over our pricing, and I got him what he wanted.
So, pretty much the same thing.
[LAUGHS] Ernie! I'm playing golf with Doug Fife tomorrow.
I got intel that he wants to drop his toilet line.
- [SIGHS] - I think we can pounce.
So, why don't you join us? Okay.
Sure.
You remember Dave Dixon? Dave "The Dick" Dixon.
Sure.
May he rest in peace.
He gave me some good advice once.
He said, "Keep the shit in the shit pipes and the water in the water pipes.
" Yeah, that's the key to plumbing.
- And the basis of civilization.
- No, no.
What he meant was, if you've got personal problems, flush 'em down so you can do your job.
That's why, before he left the house every morning, he would say to himself, "Life is good.
" No matter what's going on, you say it, and then you believe it.
Dave was divorced four times.
And he lost custody of his kids.
But he always hit his sales targets.
Huh.
Life is good? Life is good.
Life is good.
Life is good! Life is good! Life is good! Life is good! Life is goooood! Life is.
.
- Good! - Good! MAN #1: Let's go, sir.
MAN #2: Don't make this hard.
DR.
KIMBROUGH: Please.
Please.
Oh, God.
God.
I-I really I don't deserve this.
I'll tell you what I am the victim of lies.
I am being framed.
Liz! Liz! Liz, call my mother.
Tell her what you see here.
Describe it.
Describe it.
Tell her about my suffering.
[GROANS] [ENGINE STARTS, CAR DOOR SHUTS] LIZ: What am I supposed to do? I don't have any cash on me.
Yeah, me neither.
Royal decree.
Cash only till you pay your bar tab.
I don't have three grand lying around.
Whoa.
Really? Three grand? I like buying people drinks.
It builds community.
Is that a sin? Can I get a drink for one fresh lemon? That seems fair.
Yeah.
Yeah! And I'd like to, uh, buy a drink for Anita.
Mm! And, uh, gentlemen buy you a drink? Right on, man.
I owe you one lemon.
- [CLEARS THROAT] Hi, Dud.
- Oh, hey! Everybody, I'd like to introduce you to my legal counsel.
This is Daphne.
Hello, and welcome.
Thanks, Blaise.
Uh how did you know my name? Your picture's on the wall in the lobby.
Oh, right.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, Daphne's gonna be helping me obtain financial justice for my shark attack, so she's gonna be taking depositions from everybody.
Should we get started? Yeah, yeah.
Hey, Blaise.
Just buy everybody a drink.
Let's get the night going, huh? You got it.
[LAUGHS] Man, this feels good.
Oh, hold it.
Hold it.
No, no, no.
We are not exchanging lemons for drinks.
BIG BEN: Too late.
- We're on the lemon standard now.
- Mm-hmm.
[SIGHS] Blaise, if you're gonna tend bar, you have got to enforce the rules.
Otherwise, it'll be chaos.
Then maybe I shouldn't tend bar.
I'm not gonna be your goon, Scott.
Which, of course, brings us to Carcharodon carcharias, okay? Which is the scientific name for the animal well, th-the perpetrator in this case, I guess, right? Um, the I'm sorry.
Shouldn't you be writing this down on, like, a legal pad or ? You mentioned Larry Loomis.
I did? Tell me about your relationship.
His hobbies.
Did he enjoy traveling? Did he have any trips booked before he died, to Mexico or somewhere like that? And where in Mexico, if that was the case? Um Sorry.
How do you know that Larry died? I read his obituary in the paper.
I do deep background, Dud.
That's why I've never lost a case.
Trust me.
We need to show your state of mind in the days leading up to the attack.
The more we highlight your emotional turmoil, the bigger the settlement.
Mm.
I guess that makes sense.
So, you're basically cleaning pools for free.
Yeah.
And it works.
Picked up six new clients today.
[CHUCKLES] I know it can't last, obviously, but it felt good to be out there.
Yeah, yeah! You're back in business.
- Yeah! - Life is good.
Yeah, life is good.
That's my new motto.
Life is good.
Well, you know what? It's my new motto now, too.
[LAUGHING] Life is good! [LAUGHS] Life is good.
- [LAUGHS] Aww.
- [CHUCKLES] Man, it's really great to have you back, Ernie.
I mean if we had drinks, we could toast to the goodness of life, but that's not happening tonight.
JOCELYN: Scott.
[INHALES DEEPLY] I fear the, uh, mood in the tavern has curdled somewhat since we instituted the new policy.
People have to learn.
Actions have consequences.
People have to learn.
DUD: You know, it's just It's hard seeing Ernie just sitting back watching Scott's reign of terror.
BLAISE: [SCOFFING] Scott.
I'd say let's revolt, but historically, whenever there's a coup, it leads inevitably to a violent counterrevolution, and I just don't have the time.
This is my citadel.
As long as he stays out of here, we'll be fine.
God.
Larry's mom.
Looks like she knows things, you know? I think she was just along for the ride.
- Smith is the mastermind.
- Yeah.
Hey, how do you think Wallace Smith sealed himself inside here - without anybody else noticing? - I don't know.
This room had to have been part of the original plans for the building, but nobody seemed to know about it.
I'm trying to find the architect.
Think there are any other hidden rooms? Anything is possible.
Anything is possible.
Life is good, and anything is possible! You know, I'm I'm feeling that, too.
[LAUGHS] Yeah! Merrill said that, every generation, only a couple people complete the Magnum Opus.
Now, this might sound like the height of hubris, but I think I might be one of 'em.
Because you are, man! I wore a hair shirt in the seminary.
Yes! You wore a hair sh What's a hair shirt? Basically, a medieval jockstrap made out of super scratchy sackcloth that digs into your skin and lacerates your genitals 24/7.
Whoa.
That's cr Uh, do they make you do that? Oh, God, no! No.
My choice.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
My spiritual adviser thought I was nuts, but I had read about these saints that experienced ecstasy in the pain.
So I thought I'd give it a try, but I found out pain is not my thing.
Eh.
At all.
But ecstasy To experience a moment beyond time, to see behind the appearance of things that, I think, is what the Magnum Opus is all about.
Yeah! To get back time.
The impossible dream.
The impossible dream.
I cannot believe that you get a car and an expense account at a temp assignment.
Mm-hmm.
Ah! It's the cost of doing business, brother.
If you want the best people, - you have to give them incentives.
- Yeah.
And I'm worth it.
You're totally worth it, baby.
[SIGHS] - How was your day? - It was I worked out in the morning, then just kind of [CLICKS TONGUE] chilled.
Mm.
My day was great.
Yeah.
Felt really good to be back in the swing.
Was your leg okay? Yeah! Yeah.
I mean, it hurt a little bit, you know, but nothing I can't handle.
Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
[GRUNTS, SIGHS] Oh, and, uh, I asked Daphne if she needed you to come in for the deposition.
She said she's got everything she needs, so you are off the hook.
Okay.
I still don't really get who she's going to sue.
Oh.
[SCOFFS] Multiple jurisdictions and agencies involved.
I mean, it's really very complex.
So that's why I'm I'm lucky to have an experienced law provider.
[LAUGHING] Who is this kook? And why's he talking to all these losers? Ohh - What?! - A-Are you serious? Do the words "California's Gold" mean nothing to you? Huell Howser! The man! This is why we broke up.
And because he he cheated on you, which was I didn't cheat.
- I met my soul mate.
- What? - [LAUGHS] - That's not cheating.
- Whoa.
- Uh, you also said I was your soul mate.
That's why you got that lizard tattooed on your heart.
I'm lucky to have many soul mates.
Hey.
You get me.
But so does Karina.
That's why we're engaged.
So, wait, now you're cheating on your fiancée? It's all one soul, Dud.
Ugh.
Puh.
Karina understands that.
That's why our marriage is going to work.
You know, she does Krav Maga.
I do capoeira.
We're gonna unite our disciplines.
[SIGHS] I cannot believe you spent a year with that guy.
It was San Diego.
Nothing matters down there.
Okay, then why is he here now? Well, I was in the mood for some serious bone action, so I texted.
He was here in two hours.
With his bone, and those god-awful oils that smell like rotting fruit.
They're from Nepal.
They open up pleasure zones.
No, they just smell like hot garbage.
Why do you think I finished alone in the shower? Oh, Liz, wake up! Come on! [SCOFFS] I mean, everybody wants some serious bone action.
It's the human condition.
Okay? But Bobby? I mean, come on! You can't be living in the past.
[LAUGHS] "Don't live in the past"? Says Sean Dudley? That's fantastic.
Listen, I hear your concerns.
I can't stand Bobby, either.
- [GROANS] - But I told you, I'm going down the chute.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
But Just hear me out, alright? Something happened to me today, Liz.
Okay, I was in this backyard.
I was cleaning a pool like I've done a million times before.
But this time, I got lost.
It was the water and the sun and the telephone lines.
It was like every afternoon I ever had, but all in one moment.
And And And it was like I-I touched this [SIGHS] I touched this feeling this feeling of what it was like before, when it was just you and me and Dad and we were all together.
Now, I know that you can't go back in time for real, okay? Although some alchemists think that, you know, like Okay, I'm sorry.
That feeling of being together with the people that you love that's real.
That's worth chasing.
[SHAKILY] So, what are you saying? If you're gonna go down the chute, don't you at least want to be with people that you like? People that care about you? [CLEARS THROAT] [GROANS] Ah! [GRUNTS] HUELL: all of them with a different story.
- [PAPER RUSTLING] - This is the famous Pismo clam.
- Pismo clam? - Pismo clam.
And that's Pismo Beach is called Pismo Beach.
[ENGINE SPUTTERS] Ah.
Mm.
[ENGINE CLICKS] Ohh Yeah, I get it.
Car probs.
Alright.
I'll figure something else out.
Alright, Ernie, see you at the Lodge.
[DOOR TONE CHIMES] - Hey, buddy.
- Hey! Could we have a little friendly chat? About what? About, well First of all, we were wondering if you might have taken some of Booie's equipment from his truck.
Mm.
Wouldn't do that to Booie.
It's probably a street gang.
Yep, probably the, uh, Willow Willow Willow Street Knife Boys.
HERMAN: They're a heavy crew.
- Mm.
- They They stabbed my friend.
But it's not just the equipment.
You've been poaching customers from Booie.
No.
No.
I have been offering my services at a better price.
No one can compete with free.
It's not fair.
Do you understand how upsetting this has been for Booie? I have never seen him like this.
Not since he got kicked out of Mater Dei.
Sorry, Booie.
Laws of the jungle.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO] [SCOFFS] Here.
- [DOOR TONE CHIMES] - Thank you.
SCOTT: Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT] I saw Connie sent a postcard.
All is well? Eh, it is what it is.
[TOOLS RATTLING] If you want to talk about it Alright.
I think that's my business, okay? [EXHALES SHARPLY] We met in Vegas.
I was there with some buddies, and she was there covering some big fight for her paper in Oregon.
Saw her across the craps table, so [LAUGHS] How romantic is that? A few drinks later, she tells me she's from Long Beach, hadn't been back in a long time.
And then, a few drinks after that, we are in bed.
That's lovely.
And then she tells me she has this condition.
And I don't believe in fate.
It's just a way of avoiding personal responsibility, but [SIGHS] I-It just felt like we had met for a reason.
I told her, "Come back to Long Beach with me.
Whatever time you got left, I'm the man for you.
It is my duty to make you happy.
" And she said yes.
That was it got hitched at the chapel, came back here.
Not very many men would make that promise.
Yeah, well, I plan to keep it.
[INHALES DEEPLY] Connie'll see that, right? I mean, she'll come back.
She'll see I'm her guy, right? Uh, I don't know.
To be honest, I haven't had much experience in these matters.
What, never? Well, there was someone once.
I used to go to the same matinee every weekend at the Prince Charles, and she was always there.
And we met and started having coffee after, and nice chats.
And eventually, we had a moment.
And then her work sent her away to Hong Kong.
Then it all just faded away.
[DOOR OPENS] [DOOR CLOSES] CONNIE: Melinda's such a hard-ass.
CLARA: It's her Glaswegian charm.
Pfft! She keeps talking about thresholds and confronting the "real thing".
- What's the "real thing"? - Hell if I know! [LAUGHS] I told her about Scott and Ernie.
The sordid tale.
The harlot's lament.
So, maybe she means that? She's a sphinx.
I don't know how you deal with her.
10 years ago, I was a cashier at Tesco's.
Now I'm an emissary.
I get to see the world, all 'cause Melinda saw something in me.
Eh.
[CHUCKLES] You thought any more about Long Beach? I've written about a thousand letters in my head explaining everything to everybody, but there's nothing to say.
One thing I realize, Clara I'm really good at leading a double life.
It's a terrible talent.
[LAUGHS] I guess so.
This is great.
I love a graveyard.
- And these are all Lynx? - Yeah.
Merrill bought the land himself.
[LAUGHING] Is this where members of the True Lodge - get buried? - No.
But Lynx from all over the world request to be buried here.
Or they did.
It's full up now.
[BIRD SQUAWKS] Connie? Down here.
Oh, my God! Let me get help.
No, I'm good.
[LAUGHS] I kind of like the view from here.
Think you might've just crossed one of those thresholds Melinda was talking about.
DUD: Sorry.
Hi.
Sorry.
Hi.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry about that.
[GRUNTS] Sorry.
[DOOR CLOSES] Sorry.
[SIGHS] [EXHALES SHARPLY] Killer commute, huh? This is such a treat, Liz.
I just love riding in luxury sedans.
Mm.
Luxury.
That's what today is all about.
We can do whatever we want.
Possibilities are endless.
Mm.
So, Disneyland? Heroin? Both? Hey, we could go on a safari at the Orbis plant.
Ooh.
Since the big con went down, nature is reasserting herself.
It's all weeds and coyotes and homeless guys.
And me.
Want to go to the aquarium? They have these luminescent jellyfish.
When you look at them, it's like you're floating through the cosmos.
And I love the cosmos.
And they got churros.
Churros and jellyfish! - Yes! That's the plan.
- Nice.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES] Ernie will be your guy.
No man on Earth knows more about Tolson's new line of low-flow toilets.
Yeah, I-I've always liked Ernie, but that whole Orbis thing really blew up in his face.
Seems like he's losing it.
No! Trust me.
Ernie is back and better than ever! Steady, smooth, classy just like his Cadillac.
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF] ERNIE: Ha-ha! [CAR DOOR SLAMS] - Dougie! [LAUGHS] - Hey, hey.
Let's hit some balls.
[GRUNTS] [LAUGHS] You whiffed, Ernie.
[LAUGHS] Just like you whiffed on Orbis.
Very funny, Doug.
You've always been a gentleman of fine wit.
[GRUNTS] Oh! - Ooh! - [LAUGHS] What, you get high in your hippie van on the way over? Goddamn hippie clown.
Don't sweat it, Ernie.
Just take a drop.
No.
I got this.
I got it.
Just watch.
Life is good! [CHUCKLES] [GRUNTS] You're out of mulligans.
Too bad they can't give you a mulligan on your whole career, huh? [CHUCKLES] Oww! God! What the hell, Ernie?! [SIGHS] [KIDS LAUGHING, SHOUTING] [DOOR SHUTS] [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH] [GROANS] Hi! Hi.
Lenore? Bill? What? No.
[LAUGHING] I'm I'm Sean.
Bill Dudley was my father.
Yeah, and, uh, I found his old Rolodex, and he had some people from way back.
I think I think my dad used to clean your pool.
- [CHUCKLES] - [SIGHS] Jesus.
Uh, I'm sorry.
I just, uh [LAUGHING] Holy crap.
I thought I had gone back in time.
You look just like him.
It's uncanny.
Oh, so you knew him? Yeah.
How is he? Uh, well, he he died last year, actually.
Yeah.
Got eaten by a shark.
[LAUGHS] No, seriously.
- Oh, no.
Really? - Yeah.
Good lord.
I'm an asshole.
I'm so sorry.
D-Do you work with that guy? Oh, Booie.
Look, man.
I already closed the deal, okay? Oww! God! Jesus! What's your problem? Everyone has to come off the road at some point.
The order desk.
This is where I started 20 years ago.
Speedy was sitting right there.
See? That's great! Life comes full circle.
It's not a circle.
It's a one-way ticket.
- [TELEPHONE RINGING] - Come on, Ernie.
You gave me no choice.
[FOOTSTEPS DEPART] [RINGING CONTINUES] [SIGHS] West Coast Super Sales.
This is Um Ernie.
This is Ernie.
How many fingers? On your hand? Uh See? You're fine.
You don't need an ambulance.
Okay.
I called your sister.
She was in your phone.
Liz.
Hey.
Booie attacked me with violence.
- What?! - Yeah.
It was unprovoked.
Total bush league.
- [GROANS] - I went after the little bitch, but he drove off in his little bitch truck.
Uh, thanks for helping out.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I'm gonna miss my flight.
I had a date lined up in Reno ex-Air Force, hell-for-leather type.
C'est la vie.
Okay.
Alright.
Let's go.
[SIGHS] I am sick of people walking all over the Dudleys like we're a bunch of lightweights.
Uh, Liz? You're actually going pretty fast.
- Yeah.
- Wait, wait.
Uh, sorry.
Liz, this is not your Honda.
This is way, way nicer.
Sorry.
What's happening? - Red light, Liz! - [HORN HONKS] - [TIRES SQUEAL] - Never mind.
[HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE] [TIRES SCREECH, GLASS SHATTERS] Bang, bang, bang goes the gun The tank wheels rattle as they roll like cattle This commotion Plays in slow motion Tick, tick, tick goes the clock And I ask in those hours "Can we trade bullets for flowers?" But I'm hoping 'Cause those guns are smoking I once felt safe in my home But amidst the panic, I scrammed for the attic And I'm hidden All sounds forbidden The human race has been run Though it took some time, they have crossed that line Photo finishes But there can be no winners [ENGINE REVS] [ENGINE REVS] [GEAR SHIFT CLICKS] [TIRES SQUEAL] LIZ: [SCREAMS] [GRUNTS] Aah! [SPECTATORS MURMUR] Dud! Dud! Dud! Dud! I'm good! Whoo! So, it's agreed.
You will not press charges against Liz for destruction of property, and you'll give up your lease on Dudley & Son.
And in exchange, you will not press charges against Booie for attempted murder.
[BUZZER SOUNDS] [SPEAKING VIETNAMESE] Aloha, bitches.
Aloha, bitches! That should be a saying, Herm.
It is.
I just said it.
Okay.
$100 for my notary fee.
Plus $1,000 for my sub-rosa consultation with law enforcement.
Erg.
Oh, my God.
[CLEARS THROAT] Put it on this.
And I'll take our dad's watch, too.
A trophy for your victory.
[GIGGLES] Oh, Liz.
Ooh! [LAUGHS] W-W-Wait.
Well, you need a trophy, too.
What do you want? MAN: And even though it's windy, it's still a perfect day to go to the beach.
So, here we are at Okay.
I'm glad we got to write another chapter in our story.
I'm sorry I have to go.
Did you bring back the parking pass? It was nice meeting you guys.
Wish we could hang more.
But Karina needs me back home.
Que será, brah.
Who's Karina? [SMOOCHES] [DOOR SLAMS] Aloha, bitches What did you say? What? Sorry, it's just a saying.
And I won't say it again.
- Yeah.
- Ah.
Man! It's even deader in here than it was last night.
Yeah.
Saved the building, but not the Lodge.
Pyrrhic victory.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Blaise! I got my dad's watch back! Huh? Hey.
Anything is possible.
- How? - Eh, you know.
Bravery.
Facing death head-on.
[CHUCKLES] My sister got it back for me.
Great.
Hey, oh, come on, man! Stick around! I'm in the mood to celebrate! I got to get out of here.
I've been cooped up in the library.
- I need fresh air.
Ernie's here.
- Oh.
He's been hitting it pretty hard all night.
Okay.
Where is he? [DOOR OPENS] DUD: Ernie? - [DOOR CLOSES] - Ernie.
Hey.
They took me off the road.
[EXHALES DEEPLY] I-I'm I'm useless.
I'm all done.
No, no, no.
No, it's not true.
That's not true.
[SNIFFLES] You're a king, Ernie.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Life is good.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] The wrong turn.
Every time.
My whole life.
[VOICE BREAKING] We lost her.
And then I ran.
Are you talking about Connie? Alright.
You're wasted.
Mm.
And you're down.
You're in a bad place.
And I think that the best thing for me to do is to get wasted.
[BOTH LAUGH] So you're not alone down there.
[BOTH LAUGHING] [SULTRY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ON JUKEBOX] The jukebox hasn't been updated for a long time.
Well, do you have a favorite song? Mm-hmm.
Love's old sweet song.
[LAUGHS] That is the one and only track.
You'll know it someday.
It's everything at once.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
[CHUCKLES] I can smell her perfume in the corridors.
She was there when I got back.
Waiting at the station.
Oh, my head was gone.
[LAUGHS] Her head was gone, too.
I bought a blue Nova with my discharge money.
Escape the jungle.
Six cylinders, man.
It's a classic.
Mm-hmm.
[LAUGHS] I had to go.
I saw the bridge and the stars.
I saw what was underneath.
It's waiting for you, Dud.
You just have to go and find it.
Thermosaurus? The grail.
Find the grail.
And save the kingdom.
[CHUCKLES] So, Thermosaurus.
That she said to me The greatest thing you'll never learn Is just to love and be loved in return Just to be loved In return Oh, to be loved in return [GASPS] It's 8:00.
I gotta hit the road.
Or sit in the office.
[GROGGILY] Can you give me a ride home? Mm.
[BURPS] Yeah.
- [BIRDS CHIRPING] - [SIGHS] [SIGHS] Wait.
Wait.
Is that Oh, my God.
El Confidente is real? I guess it's time to tell you about all the shit that went down in Mexico.