Lodge 49 (2018) s02e08 Episode Script
Zugzwang
1 Look at him.
A genius writer.
- - There might come a time when we'll be calling on you.
To do what? JANET: If I promise to take care of your crew, would you be my partner in crime? [SIGHS.]
Mexico sounds good to you because you feel like you got no options here.
We got a job opening at West Coast Super Sales.
Scott, I release you from your duty.
I sorta let things get out of hand.
I need a place to just turn off.
Blaise.
I'm Lamar.
LAMAR: Come on, Jerry.
Well, just hear me out.
I-I've written 1,700 new pages since last week.
Every word is pristine.
I'm telling you, this new, uh writer's retreat I found, oh, it's it's really opened things up for me.
My veins are jacked with Spiritus Mundi.
I'm drinking the milk of paradise! So, please, let me send you the manuscript before you make your final decision.
What?! No, the plot is not convoluted.
It's complex, like a symphony.
Jerry [CHUCKLES.]
Nope.
Nope, nope.
Wrong again, Jerry.
I don't make mistakes.
It's impossible for a genius to make a mistake.
His mistakes are portals of discovery.
All right, don't don't don't hang up, please.
I'm sorry.
It's just [LAUGHS.]
You're my agent.
You're supposed to fight for me, you useless sack of shit, - and - [DIAL TONE.]
Jerry? Jerry? [SIGHS.]
[RECEIVER CLACKS.]
[SIGHS.]
Who you talking to? Oh, my accountant.
I'm thinking about buying some property on the Amalfi Coast.
Italy a land kissed by the gods.
Ah, the Italians are a clownish people.
Haven't won a war since Gaul.
But the sunsets mwah! [LAUGHS.]
Well, shall we "Uno"? The romance of the road.
I know it well.
All those blistering afternoons on the high plains.
Going mano a mano with some wholesaler in Victorville who wants an extra five off an order of brass.
That world could be yours someday.
But in the meantime, the order desk is a good place to learn the biz.
I couldn't agree more.
I was off chasing donkey carts for a while.
But now I see that this is a great opportunity to learn the business from the ground up.
Now, you can't skip steps.
That's how I learned pools.
And I didn't go to some million-dollar pool school back east.
Exactly! I started out as a stock boy at a toilet-seat factory in South El Monte.
I never dreamed I'd have all of this.
- But here I am.
- You know what, Bob? I'm just gonna go ahead and say it out loud.
I think this interview is going really well.
And I would love to be a part of the team here.
Are you kidding? You have a background in residential hydronics - [SCOFFS.]
Yeah.
- and you're Ernie's guy.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
It's a no-brainer.
[CHUCKLES.]
Welcome aboard, Dud.
- Thank you.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
This is for Liz Dudley.
Chief Financial Officer? [PACKAGE RATTLES.]
[INDISTINCT TALKING.]
Is this a bad time? No.
I'm muted.
Janet is passing through a thought crucible.
She's on a conference call.
I'm taking notes.
I mean, I'm obviously not taking any notes, - but what's up? - This came for you.
I'm worried it might contain an explosive device.
What are you talking about? Maybe I'm being paranoid, but that doesn't rule out the possibility, however small, that there's a bomb in there.
Just trying to do my job.
Liz Dudley, Chief Financial Officer? Did you already get promoted? No.
[TAPE RIPS.]
[GASPS.]
[SIGHS.]
Thank God.
[CHUCKLES.]
How's it going? Are you happy? I'm still not sure exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
- Dealing with this package is the busiest I've been all week.
I know.
It is kind of weirdly quiet around here.
Yeah.
I'm sure new projects will come up.
And besides, I think, in corporations, the less you do, the more important you are.
Yes.
[SIGHS.]
[COUGHS.]
Hey.
You okay? I was cleaning out the grease traps and sort of had an accident No, no! Don't come any closer.
[RETCHES.]
Oh, my God.
That shit is foul.
You need to burn those clothes, man.
I'm outta here.
[COUGHS.]
[GAGS.]
Aw, man.
Ugh.
[COUGHS.]
Oh.
Ugh! Aw! Come on, man! Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, no! No, no, no, no! [SIGHS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
My own desk! [LAUGHS.]
This means a lot.
And I will try to honor Speedy's legacy.
Good luck.
In 30 years, the dude never missed a day, even after his hemorrhoid surgery.
Wow.
Dud, I think Speedy would've wanted you to have this.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Wow.
[LAUGHS.]
Wear it with pride.
I will.
Ahh! Nice.
Is this the new guy? Oh, my God.
Is this the Well, he's even more beautiful than I imagined.
The last guy quit after one day.
- I hope you're tougher than that.
- Are you kidding? This kid fought off a shark.
And a snake.
Well, actually, I didn't fight off either of them.
- They just kind of attacked me.
- Whatever.
Just make sure you take care of my customers.
Sure.
Don't let beautiful Jeff intimidate you.
You're beautiful in your own way.
Thanks, Bob.
And you, too, Ernie.
Hey.
Blaise says he's clear for visitors.
Oh, great.
Okay.
We can go after work.
This place where he's staying I don't get what it is.
Um, yeah.
I went there with El Confidente.
It's like a brain-company place.
I was thinking more about it last night, Blaise.
Let's presume that whoever designed Lodge 49 did so with a purpose.
Well, they wanted someone to discover the secret library, but they knew that only someone with a special mind would be able to grasp its allegorical significance.
You know, another world inside our own.
Or maybe it's just a dusty old room.
That's ridiculous.
Well, I'm sorry I told you that stuff.
I came here to forget about it.
I let myself go.
I burned the map of reality.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You were given a gift.
Jesus, man.
My lodge in Gainesville is a goddamn snooze fest.
Run by boring, flaccid men with no sense of adventure.
I told them this, and they hated me for it, but that's what I do.
In life and on the page, I tell the truth.
Whatever dream I was chasing, it wasn't worth it.
I hurt my friends.
What, the nail gun? Oh, come on.
Every man eventually shoots another man.
It's a rite of passage.
[SIGHS.]
[HUMMING.]
My God, look at her.
[HUMMING CONTINUES.]
So graceful and demure.
She embodies the feminine ideal yet she remains an enigma.
Genevieve can I deal you in? [SPEAKING FRENCH.]
I think that's a no.
I usually summer in the Luberon, but my French is still imperfect.
Blaise.
Hi.
Have you been sleeping the last few nights? No.
Nothing seems to be working.
I have wall work later today, and, uh a couple visitors this afternoon.
Oh, that's good, good.
Lamar, are you staying away from mirrors and windows? Mm-hmm.
Yes, I am, okay? Jesus.
Can I remind you that I'm here voluntarily? Of course.
Everyone's here voluntarily.
And I told you, you don't have to wear the robe.
- I'm wearing the robe.
- Yeah.
We like the robes.
And I'm getting sick of talking to the interns.
I wanna see this Parker guy I keep hearing about, the man in the mountain.
[SIGHS.]
So, who's coming to visit? Ernie and Dud.
Oh, the knight and squire.
Excellent.
Thank you, Liz.
You're amazing.
If, by amazing, you mean that I'm, more or less, competent at doing basic tasks, then, yes, I am amazing.
[SIGHS.]
I love your honesty, Liz your lurid self-awareness.
It reminds me of what I'll be like when I'm your age.
What? There's some more paperwork for you to sign.
Liz, you've arrived at a transformational moment for Omni.
We're approaching the Rubicon.
Are you ready? - Uh - Say yes.
Answer Janet.
[STERNLY.]
Say yes.
Sure.
Yeah.
I guess.
Oh, by the way, uh, I got a package delivered to me.
I was listed as Chief Financial Officer.
Someone screwed up somewhere.
Who knows? Maybe it was delivered from the future.
Don't you see, Liz? You came back into my life for a reason.
I came here because you paid me and my friends a lot of money.
Or maybe you're destined to be our CFO.
Maybe you're the savior Omni needs right now.
Are things not going well? Because with the rats at Shamroxx and the implosion at Higher Steaks [TREADMILL BEEPS.]
Everything is amazing right now.
But a good general prepares for every possibility.
The board of directors only think in linear terms, but I see the whole circle.
The arc of the Janet universe bends towards profit.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I know this is your company and you have to be, like, on here or whatever, but I'm having a really hard time differentiating between you and the gibberish spewing out of your mouth.
I can't tell, either.
Help me, Liz.
[SCOFFS.]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
[MAN WHISTLES.]
Hello? Scott? Hey.
What's up? Uh, I was gonna stay here tonight.
Anita, she's She's sick of my snoring.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- She says she can hear it across the hall.
- I can't believe it's happy hour.
- I know.
When I got here, everything was locked up.
I don't know where Scott is.
It's a good thing I came by.
We've got a traveling knight upstairs.
Just arrived from London.
You might have to fight her for the room.
CLARA: I'm sorry I hadn't called ahead.
Actually, I left in a bit of a hurry.
Connie, I'm sorry to say that things are amiss in London.
- Amiss? - Mm-hmm.
There's a strange atmosphere about the lodge.
Everyone below me, or Melinda, has been sent away.
Jocelyn, Anil, and some others I dunno where they are, and I dunno who sent them.
And the people above Melinda? My superiors? Well, they're actually below me in terms of the layout of the lodge.
But, yeah.
It's all gone quiet.
None of my communiqués have been answered.
I go down there, I knock on the door, and no one answers.
I don't understand.
I've got a strange feeling, Connie, that it's all because of the scrolls.
They're out in the open, and I've got to act now to get them back.
I'm gonna need your help and all.
Of course, but I don't really know anything new.
There was all this talk about Mexico when I got back, but it all seemed like a dead end.
Then we should find out.
And we should go down there.
We could make a bit of holiday out of it.
I'm not gonna lie to you, Connie, I've been cooped up, and Melinda suffers too much lately.
I need to, like really let loose do you know what I mean? The order desk? Yeah, and it's great.
Yeah, I mean, I've gotten yelled at a few times by a couple wholesalers 'cause I didn't know parts numbers, - but it's fine.
- [CHUCKLES.]
'Cause Ernie's there, the boss is really cool.
I got this badass wind breaker.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Uh But, listen, Blaise, um we're here to see you, man.
So How you doing? How's your brain feel? Or that was not the way to put it.
No, it's good.
It's, uh Just trying to calm the waves, you know? Blaise, man we're happy to see you taking care of yourself.
That stuff that happened, don't worry about it.
The lodge is always there for you, man.
I mean, right now, it kind of sucks 'cause Scott put up all these TVs.
It completely kills the vibe.
Maybe that's for the best.
We gotta stop pretending the lodge is magic.
- Hi.
- Ohh.
Ernie, Dud, this is Lamar, a fellow Lynx from Gainesville.
[LAMAR CHUCKLES.]
I get this a lot.
Don't be nervous, gentlemen.
I'm always happy to meet fans.
Smug ones, at least, and it's even better when we share an eternal bond, huh? - ERNIE: Yeah.
- You guys know Lamar? Lama Lamar is L.
Marvin Metz.
He's He's the master.
- You're the master.
- Wha Y You said you were a writer.
I thought you meant as a hobby.
I assumed you knew who I was.
Well, my fans go either one of two ways.
They get arrested trying to break into my compound or they play it cool.
[CHUCKLES.]
I figured you were playing it cool.
- No.
- Oh.
I had no idea.
I don't read thrillers.
Whoa, now! Now, they're not just thrillers.
Yeah, yeah.
His books explore very important themes, like history and love and explosions.
Boy, I am glad you guys are here.
Yeah! Ah! Blaise has told me all about you.
I can't believe it.
I just shook hands with L.
Marvin Metz, the greatest writer of his generation.
So, it's Lamar Marvin Metz? You bet it is.
[CHUCKLES.]
And, oh, uh, friends, this is Genevieve.
I met her when I first arrived at Ludibrium.
And she's now my muse.
[SPEAKING FRENCH.]
Very nice to meet you.
B-Bonjour.
Listen, I could use some fresh air and something to nosh on.
You fellas game? - Yeah.
- Hell yes! I mean, if Blaise feels up for it.
Oh, no, you guys go ahead.
Seriously, go.
I'm gonna head into the sensory deprivation tank.
Yeah.
Boom.
Good.
Kind of feels good to finally be talking to a friend.
We're not friends.
I'm here because you're paying me.
When I was a kid, I dreamed of starting a global brand, putting my stamp on every continent.
Worldwide domination? Something like that.
But instead, I'm the CEO of a regional conglomerate.
It's sad.
When you were a kid, what did you want to do? I don't know.
I wanted to go places.
I liked books about explorers and kids who get lost in the wilderness and have to figure out how to survive.
When I was 10 I sort of ran away from home.
I was gone for two days.
Yeah, I had it all planned out.
I packed books, warm stuff, food.
I wasn't trying to leave home.
Like, I was happy there.
I just wanted to see what it was like on my own.
I stayed the first night in a bush at El Dorado Park and the second night in this tunnel by the San Gabriel River.
Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
It was great.
Well, until I got home.
My poor dad He called the police and was losing his mind.
My brother cried for days and spent a year [CHUCKLES.]
checking my room every night, making sure I was there.
I wanted to tell him how fun it was, but I knew I couldn't make him understand.
I felt so horrible for putting him through it.
I knew I could never do that again.
I had to stay close.
I've never been anywhere.
I've never even left California.
I've been everywhere.
I've seen a lot of airports and corporate suites.
I'm always skimming the surface.
It's It's where I live.
But you're not afraid to go deep, Liz.
That's why I stole your story.
[SEAGULLS CHIRP IN DISTANCE.]
Do you want to get some frozen yogurt? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Hey.
Hey, big guy.
Are you lost? You look lost.
If you're lost, we can help.
I'm not lost! Now keep driving, or I'll kick your sorry little asses up and down the road! Drive! Just trying to help! [ENGINE REVS, TIRES SQUEAL.]
LAMAR: "Are you Tom Stone?" the messenger asked? "I am," said Stone.
"Did Olaf send you?" "Yeah.
Olaf wants me to give you a message.
" - [CHUCKLES.]
- "He says you only have 24 hours to decipher the Hul Jord Codex.
" [LAUGHTER.]
Stone laughed, and then he pulled out his .
228 and shot the messenger.
[LAUGHS.]
- So, it's all in your head.
- Mm.
Every line of "Operation Oslo.
" And the other 22 volumes of the "Europa Nights" series.
How many more are you gonna do? Well, to tell the story right gonna need at least 100 volumes.
- Ooh.
- Mm.
Um, Mr.
Metz, can I ask you a - No, Lamar, Lamar.
- Lamar.
Lamar, uh, can I ask you a literary question? - Mm.
- How does a muse work? - Mm.
- Like, is Genevieve your girlfriend? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
God, no.
No, no, no, no.
It's entirely platonic.
That's the only way it can work.
Dud, a muse provides inspiration.
The intoxicating riddle that lies at the heart of every great work.
Sex would only ruin my process.
That's why I haven't ejaculated in 10 years.
Well, I I won't allow myself to until I finish the tale of Tom Stone.
- Damn.
- Mm.
That's commitment.
Yeah, I'm glad I'm not a writer.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Yeah.
But I'm glad that you are, Lamar.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey, you guys know where I could score some bennies - around here? - Uh, no.
Oh.
Forget it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Forget it.
Let's eat something.
Ha ha! Mnh-mnh-mnh.
Zugzwang.
DUD: What? Zugzwang! It's a chess term.
This poor fool is in zugzwang.
It means he's in a losing position.
No matter what choice he makes, he can only make his position worse.
"Zugzwang in Zurich" is volume 10 of the "Europa Nights.
" One of my darkest journeys.
I'm so behind.
I've only read "Prague Paradox" and "Operation Oslo.
" - What? - Yeah.
You can't do that.
Well, you have to read them in order, Dud.
You miss all the intricate connections.
- I'll catch up.
I promise.
- Mm.
Zugzwang.
Heard you the first time, Lamar.
If Tom Stone is a chess expert Mm.
you must be a chess expert, too.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- So you can write about it.
Believe me, if Tom Stone knows how to do something, I know how to do something.
So you know how to kickbox and build bombs? Tom Stone ç'est moi.
"Madness in Madrid.
" Wrote that one in three days.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [BIRD SQUAWKS.]
Wow.
Um, so so, Blaise explained everything uh, uh, the library, the egg room, the scrolls, - Ernie's affair.
- I'm a Lynx He knew he could take me into his confidence.
El Confidente had a theory you were a Lynx.
He was right.
All of my books are sprinkled with Lynxian references.
Anagrams, acrostics, the book within the book, so to speak.
Now, have you heard anything from El Confidente and, uh what's her name? The big coin nut? Oh, Daphne.
Uh, no.
That ship has sailed, and it's probably for the best, 'cause all that scroll stuff just ended up tearing Blaise apart, you know.
And right now, it just feels really good to be, like, stable.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
- [BIRD SQUAWKS.]
Some men lose their nerve when they get too close to the truth.
I don't know what that's like, but I feel for Blaise.
He's a good man.
This is a beautiful map.
Tell me about the hole.
Long story.
Basically, I punched it.
It screwed up my hand.
Oh, you did way more than that, Ernie.
I did? Mm-hmm.
Signs and symbols, my friend.
Don't you see? Blaise misread the signs.
He doesn't understand the true meaning of the scrolls.
I mean, a secret formula for completing the magnum opus that opens the door to some magical unseen world? [CHUCKLING.]
I mean That's insane.
Yeah, when you think about it, it does seem kind of nuts.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- When in reality, it should be clear to any intelligent man that the scrolls are a map to the center of the Earth.
Merrill knew the greatest secret of all, gentlemen [STERNLY.]
the Earth is hollow.
Now, there's an entire world beneath our feet.
Now, is this world where the myth of Atlantis comes from? Possibly, but what is certain is that Merrill discovered a way in.
Lamar, I'm not expert, but I'm pretty sure the center of the Earth is just rock and fire.
[LAUGHS.]
In your heart, you know the Earth is hollow.
That's why you punched the map.
- I was drunk and pissed off.
- Nonsense! It was a premonition! You were desperate to get beneath the surface and see the truth! Just like me.
[BIRDS CHIRP IN DISTANCE.]
Ho! Guys, you have to believe me! There's a better world than this one.
We just need to dig through the mud and find it.
Do you believe me?! Okay.
If you need more proof, take me to your lodge.
Do you think I like making your lives a living hell? Well, the answer is yes! And it's not because I'm some sicko that gets off by inflicting pain.
- It's beca - [SCREAMING.]
[TEAM MURMURS.]
Aah! Whoo! So, how does this work? We just sit here and watch whatever show you select? Yes.
That's generally how watching TV works.
[SIGHING.]
Sorry.
I've never really done that.
Mother and father always said watching television thwarts ambition.
Yeah.
Yeah, it does.
Mmm.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHS.]
See? Look.
Merrill always hides the truth in plain sight.
Look what's beneath him.
An entire cosmos! As above, so below.
Come on, guys.
That's what that means.
Now, how do we get there? Obviously, there's an entry point at the South Pole, but it's likely he discovered other portals, as well.
There could be one here in Long Beach.
And so then, that means that the true Lodge Is inside the hollow Earth.
- Yes.
- Wow.
Connie! Good to see you.
Oh, hey, guys.
This is Clara.
- She's - Ah, let me guess.
She's your new lover.
No.
She's a friend from London, a traveling knight.
Ah.
Forgive me, Connie.
It was my understanding that you have many lovers.
I'm sorry.
Do I know you? Mm.
You know my work.
- I do? - Connie this is L.
Marvin Metz.
Holy shit.
The guy who writes those horrible thrillers.
Horrible? Connie, - we're talking about - No, no, no, no, no.
Ernie, it's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
My muscular style alienates female readers.
That's why I publish erotica under the pseudonym Melonia Delacroix.
- CLARA: Are you serious? - Mm.
You wrote "The Heiress of Zanzibar"? - [LAUGHS.]
- I read the entire sextet.
What? They're fun.
And genuinely stimulating.
Can I buy you ladies a drink? [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
So, this dude is the greatest living writer in America? Yeah.
Lamar's a genius.
Absolutely.
How else could he write so many books? Yeah.
Okay.
Do you really think that Lamar, uh is serious about this stuff? The hollow Earth? It turns up a few times in his novels.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But maybe he's a little bit confused.
- Yeah.
- You know, like, what's fact? What's fiction? Maybe that's why he's at Ludibrium.
Yep, yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
But, um Let's just Let's just think about this for a second.
All right.
Remember what Captain said? He followed those gift-basket guys to a warehouse that had a bunch of crazy drilling equipment.
Right? Right.
Now, he thought it was for oil, but there was no oil, so maybe - Whoever bought the Orbis land - Yep.
is trying to drill their way into the hollow Earth.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You wrote over 1,000 pages in a week? Jesus Christ.
I've never had writer's block.
[CHUCKLES.]
No.
No.
I have the opposite problem.
I can't stop writing brilliant prose.
Yeah.
I know that sounds arrogant, but, uh I can show you the pages.
I'll take your word for it.
My advice, Constance, write under a pen name.
That way, you can lead a double life.
Yeah? You know, your day self, and, uh your night self.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
What the hell do I know, right? Lamar, are you okay? [SIGHS.]
No.
I'm trapped.
I just keep writing and writing.
Exhausting all the possibilities of this world.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Ahhh A-h-h-h! [VOCALIZING.]
[BODY THUDS.]
Oh, my sales have been plummeting for years.
My publisher rejected my last book 'cause I refused to cut it down.
I called it turgid and repetitive.
Turgid and repetitive.
You know, my agent dropped me.
But I thought they were all fools, blind at the scope and majesty of my vision, but, uh maybe they're right.
Maybe I've been telling the same story over and over.
My, uh, therapists here think that my hollow-Earth theory is a coping mechanism.
I'm looking to escape this world.
Windows, mirrors maybe one of them is a portal to someplace new.
[CHUCKLES.]
I guess I got carried away.
Maybe you did, Lamar.
But your books mean a lot to me.
All those hours I spent alone, on the road, listening to Tom Stone, I could See? This is what happens.
You chase an impossible dream, and you end up here.
Blaise, come on.
Man, all you need is a little rest, and then you can go back to the lodge.
I can't go back there.
I'm so sorry, Dud, I dragged you down with me.
I should've kept my delusions to myself.
Blaise, man Stop! Hey! - Hello, Janet Price.
- I'm sorry, Janet.
I told him to stop, but he ignored my command.
Wait.
You two know each other? This is my personal accountant, Dr.
Kimbrough.
- Might we have some privacy? - [LAUGHS.]
This is my professional companion, - Liz Dudley.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
We have no secrets.
We know each other.
I temp for you.
I shredded a bunch of stuff.
I watched you get arrested by the FBI.
Oh.
Well, I, uh Um, they they let me go.
Because they they didn't have any evidence, and, um [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
It was a big misunderstanding.
But the whole thing's, you know, completely behind me now.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Why are you here? After all we've been through, Janet Price you have to ask? See, I was getting nostalgic about all those late nights that we spent together at your direction, doing all those things that you instructed me to do.
And I just was kind of thinking that it might be fun if we talked in detail about all the memories that we share together.
I'm not wearing a wire.
She knows.
She totally knows.
So just, uh Just come get me, okay? - Okay, just come - [DOOR RATTLES.]
Pull it.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
What's going on? [TELEPHONE RINGS.]
You bet, Mooch.
Yep.
I'll track that information down for you.
Okay.
Hey, uh, Ernie, Mooch said that he should get 90-day pricing.
What does that mean? Ernie? What's going on? Nothing.
You're thinking about Blaise, aren't you? I just hated seeing him like that.
Same with Lamar.
Man, I just can't help but think that maybe he'd feel a little better if he just ejaculated every now and then, you know? I'm not a medical professional, but, uh, I don't know.
I'm stepping outside of my [SIGHS.]
bounds here.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[SIGHS.]
Dud we should go to Mexico.
What? It's all zugzwang.
Life is one big zugzwang.
It doesn't matter what we do.
We're gonna lose anyway.
[CHUCKLES.]
And you know what? It's beautiful.
Guys like us it doesn't matter if you make the smart choice or the stupid choice.
We wind up worse off anyway.
So we may as well just Make the stupid choice! - Yes! - Yeah! Embrace the zugzwang, baby! - Yeah! - We need to go to Mexico right now.
- For the scrolls! - No.
For Blaise.
I don't know what the hell the scrolls are alchemy, Bitcoin, the hollow Earth I don't care! But I do care about Blaise.
Yeah.
- I love who he is, man.
- Yeah.
He needs to hold on to his dreams.
Yeah.
He's the best guy ever.
Yeah.
He is the lodge, man.
Yeah.
And so is Lamar.
- Yeah! - And who cares if we don't find shit?! Because we'll be on the road! - Yeah! - Together! - Yeah! - Yeah! Oh, Ernie, yeah.
Wait.
Hold on.
Uh who's gonna cover the order desk? BOB: I will! I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about, but I love it! Ernie, you got your fire back! Yeah! You need to get on the road! - ERNIE AND DUD: Yeah! - Zugzwang! Zugzwang, man.
Gentlemen I'm willing to finance this expedition.
On one condition.
You let me bring my muse.
[SPEAKING FRENCH.]
Yeah! - Zugzwang! - Zugzwang! [LAUGHTER, ALL CHEERING.]
I'm a fraud, Liz.
Omni is a house of cards, and it's call coming down.
We've been losing money for a while.
I did everything I could think of to keep us afloat you know, creative accounting.
Were you stealing from the company? You mean, was I stealing from myself? Yes, and it hurt.
I can't believe I let myself do that to me.
I accept your judgment, Liz.
What am I gonna tell the guys? They thought I was a hero.
Wait.
So, it's all done? There's nothing you can do? I need a miracle.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Lizzie! Hey.
Hello, Dud.
Liz told me that, as a boy, you cried when she ran away.
It touched me.
Who are you? This is my boss, Janet, the one I punched.
- Oh.
- What's up? Um, I'm here to pack, because we're going to Mexico! Why are you going to Mexico? It's a long story, so Tell me.
Harwood Fritz Merrill I know that name.
He's an obscure 19th century economist.
His book on management theory had a big influence on me.
Dude was a polymath.
Yeah, but mostly he's famous for just starting the Lynx, and, uh, we've got we've got lodges all over the world.
Okay, now, go back to the Bitcoin stuff.
These people, your associates, they really think the scrolls could unlock it? Bitcoin.
How does that even work? Liz, trust me, you don't want to get into it.
Oh, it's not that complicated.
Basically, it's a transactional system where you substitute money with the idea of money.
Would you please stop saying "ledger" like I know what the hell that means? Is it a real ledger or not? What is so hard to understand about keeping transparency in the transaction chain? Liz, I'm taking off.
Okay.
Well, call when you get down there.
Let me know you're all right.
Yeah, don't worry about me, 'cause I'm going with Ernie and everybody, so You wanna hug it out? - Yeah.
- All right.
Okay.
All right.
Janet, adiós.
JANET: Adiós, Dud.
Well, I asked for a miracle, and it arrived.
- What? - Liz, we need to go to Mexico and get in on this Bitcoin bonanza.
[LAUGHS.]
If that's your only hope, then there is no hope.
Accept that.
Come on.
This is your chance to go somewhere.
Plus, you can help out your friends and watch out for your brother.
We can fly down to Guadalajara tonight in my jet and rendezvous with Dud when he gets into town and has more info.
Fine.
Let's go.
Yes.
Pack a bag, and we'll need to stop by the office to get Tarquin.
Oh, my God, Liz! I am so glad you said yes to this.
It's so much better than my other plan.
Other plan? I was gonna set you up to take the fall for me, but none of that matters because we're friends now and we're going to Mexico! Girls trip! [BIRD CHIRPS IN DISTANCE.]
Wait.
What? All right.
Oh.
DUD: Lamar Here you go.
- All right.
- That's it.
- Groovin'.
- Goodbye.
Mm.
[SIGHING.]
Ahh.
- Mm.
- Let's go, Lamar! Ah! [ENGINE STARTS.]
Bye, y'all.
Scott! Where have you been? [SIGHS.]
People know a king when they see one.
Throne, a robe none of that matters.
What? When people see me, they see They see someone trying to be a king.
It's just pointless.
I'm walking around, lost.
I don't fit in anywhere.
I've got no purpose.
Yes, you do.
Scott, this is Clara.
She's my friend from London.
We're going to Mexico to find the scrolls.
[SIGHING.]
What? Here she comes.
You know, with the whole FBI thing, she's taking precautions.
[SIGHS.]
[AIR HISSING.]
When they come You discover [CORK POPS.]
You care inside It's like no other You never stay You never stay I'm on the way I'm on the way We're starting to feel okay I'm on the way I'm starting to feel okay I'm on the way I'm starting to feel okay I'm on the way I'm starting to feel okay I'm on my way
A genius writer.
- - There might come a time when we'll be calling on you.
To do what? JANET: If I promise to take care of your crew, would you be my partner in crime? [SIGHS.]
Mexico sounds good to you because you feel like you got no options here.
We got a job opening at West Coast Super Sales.
Scott, I release you from your duty.
I sorta let things get out of hand.
I need a place to just turn off.
Blaise.
I'm Lamar.
LAMAR: Come on, Jerry.
Well, just hear me out.
I-I've written 1,700 new pages since last week.
Every word is pristine.
I'm telling you, this new, uh writer's retreat I found, oh, it's it's really opened things up for me.
My veins are jacked with Spiritus Mundi.
I'm drinking the milk of paradise! So, please, let me send you the manuscript before you make your final decision.
What?! No, the plot is not convoluted.
It's complex, like a symphony.
Jerry [CHUCKLES.]
Nope.
Nope, nope.
Wrong again, Jerry.
I don't make mistakes.
It's impossible for a genius to make a mistake.
His mistakes are portals of discovery.
All right, don't don't don't hang up, please.
I'm sorry.
It's just [LAUGHS.]
You're my agent.
You're supposed to fight for me, you useless sack of shit, - and - [DIAL TONE.]
Jerry? Jerry? [SIGHS.]
[RECEIVER CLACKS.]
[SIGHS.]
Who you talking to? Oh, my accountant.
I'm thinking about buying some property on the Amalfi Coast.
Italy a land kissed by the gods.
Ah, the Italians are a clownish people.
Haven't won a war since Gaul.
But the sunsets mwah! [LAUGHS.]
Well, shall we "Uno"? The romance of the road.
I know it well.
All those blistering afternoons on the high plains.
Going mano a mano with some wholesaler in Victorville who wants an extra five off an order of brass.
That world could be yours someday.
But in the meantime, the order desk is a good place to learn the biz.
I couldn't agree more.
I was off chasing donkey carts for a while.
But now I see that this is a great opportunity to learn the business from the ground up.
Now, you can't skip steps.
That's how I learned pools.
And I didn't go to some million-dollar pool school back east.
Exactly! I started out as a stock boy at a toilet-seat factory in South El Monte.
I never dreamed I'd have all of this.
- But here I am.
- You know what, Bob? I'm just gonna go ahead and say it out loud.
I think this interview is going really well.
And I would love to be a part of the team here.
Are you kidding? You have a background in residential hydronics - [SCOFFS.]
Yeah.
- and you're Ernie's guy.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
It's a no-brainer.
[CHUCKLES.]
Welcome aboard, Dud.
- Thank you.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
This is for Liz Dudley.
Chief Financial Officer? [PACKAGE RATTLES.]
[INDISTINCT TALKING.]
Is this a bad time? No.
I'm muted.
Janet is passing through a thought crucible.
She's on a conference call.
I'm taking notes.
I mean, I'm obviously not taking any notes, - but what's up? - This came for you.
I'm worried it might contain an explosive device.
What are you talking about? Maybe I'm being paranoid, but that doesn't rule out the possibility, however small, that there's a bomb in there.
Just trying to do my job.
Liz Dudley, Chief Financial Officer? Did you already get promoted? No.
[TAPE RIPS.]
[GASPS.]
[SIGHS.]
Thank God.
[CHUCKLES.]
How's it going? Are you happy? I'm still not sure exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
- Dealing with this package is the busiest I've been all week.
I know.
It is kind of weirdly quiet around here.
Yeah.
I'm sure new projects will come up.
And besides, I think, in corporations, the less you do, the more important you are.
Yes.
[SIGHS.]
[COUGHS.]
Hey.
You okay? I was cleaning out the grease traps and sort of had an accident No, no! Don't come any closer.
[RETCHES.]
Oh, my God.
That shit is foul.
You need to burn those clothes, man.
I'm outta here.
[COUGHS.]
[GAGS.]
Aw, man.
Ugh.
[COUGHS.]
Oh.
Ugh! Aw! Come on, man! Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, no! No, no, no, no! [SIGHS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
My own desk! [LAUGHS.]
This means a lot.
And I will try to honor Speedy's legacy.
Good luck.
In 30 years, the dude never missed a day, even after his hemorrhoid surgery.
Wow.
Dud, I think Speedy would've wanted you to have this.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Wow.
[LAUGHS.]
Wear it with pride.
I will.
Ahh! Nice.
Is this the new guy? Oh, my God.
Is this the Well, he's even more beautiful than I imagined.
The last guy quit after one day.
- I hope you're tougher than that.
- Are you kidding? This kid fought off a shark.
And a snake.
Well, actually, I didn't fight off either of them.
- They just kind of attacked me.
- Whatever.
Just make sure you take care of my customers.
Sure.
Don't let beautiful Jeff intimidate you.
You're beautiful in your own way.
Thanks, Bob.
And you, too, Ernie.
Hey.
Blaise says he's clear for visitors.
Oh, great.
Okay.
We can go after work.
This place where he's staying I don't get what it is.
Um, yeah.
I went there with El Confidente.
It's like a brain-company place.
I was thinking more about it last night, Blaise.
Let's presume that whoever designed Lodge 49 did so with a purpose.
Well, they wanted someone to discover the secret library, but they knew that only someone with a special mind would be able to grasp its allegorical significance.
You know, another world inside our own.
Or maybe it's just a dusty old room.
That's ridiculous.
Well, I'm sorry I told you that stuff.
I came here to forget about it.
I let myself go.
I burned the map of reality.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You were given a gift.
Jesus, man.
My lodge in Gainesville is a goddamn snooze fest.
Run by boring, flaccid men with no sense of adventure.
I told them this, and they hated me for it, but that's what I do.
In life and on the page, I tell the truth.
Whatever dream I was chasing, it wasn't worth it.
I hurt my friends.
What, the nail gun? Oh, come on.
Every man eventually shoots another man.
It's a rite of passage.
[SIGHS.]
[HUMMING.]
My God, look at her.
[HUMMING CONTINUES.]
So graceful and demure.
She embodies the feminine ideal yet she remains an enigma.
Genevieve can I deal you in? [SPEAKING FRENCH.]
I think that's a no.
I usually summer in the Luberon, but my French is still imperfect.
Blaise.
Hi.
Have you been sleeping the last few nights? No.
Nothing seems to be working.
I have wall work later today, and, uh a couple visitors this afternoon.
Oh, that's good, good.
Lamar, are you staying away from mirrors and windows? Mm-hmm.
Yes, I am, okay? Jesus.
Can I remind you that I'm here voluntarily? Of course.
Everyone's here voluntarily.
And I told you, you don't have to wear the robe.
- I'm wearing the robe.
- Yeah.
We like the robes.
And I'm getting sick of talking to the interns.
I wanna see this Parker guy I keep hearing about, the man in the mountain.
[SIGHS.]
So, who's coming to visit? Ernie and Dud.
Oh, the knight and squire.
Excellent.
Thank you, Liz.
You're amazing.
If, by amazing, you mean that I'm, more or less, competent at doing basic tasks, then, yes, I am amazing.
[SIGHS.]
I love your honesty, Liz your lurid self-awareness.
It reminds me of what I'll be like when I'm your age.
What? There's some more paperwork for you to sign.
Liz, you've arrived at a transformational moment for Omni.
We're approaching the Rubicon.
Are you ready? - Uh - Say yes.
Answer Janet.
[STERNLY.]
Say yes.
Sure.
Yeah.
I guess.
Oh, by the way, uh, I got a package delivered to me.
I was listed as Chief Financial Officer.
Someone screwed up somewhere.
Who knows? Maybe it was delivered from the future.
Don't you see, Liz? You came back into my life for a reason.
I came here because you paid me and my friends a lot of money.
Or maybe you're destined to be our CFO.
Maybe you're the savior Omni needs right now.
Are things not going well? Because with the rats at Shamroxx and the implosion at Higher Steaks [TREADMILL BEEPS.]
Everything is amazing right now.
But a good general prepares for every possibility.
The board of directors only think in linear terms, but I see the whole circle.
The arc of the Janet universe bends towards profit.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I know this is your company and you have to be, like, on here or whatever, but I'm having a really hard time differentiating between you and the gibberish spewing out of your mouth.
I can't tell, either.
Help me, Liz.
[SCOFFS.]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
[MAN WHISTLES.]
Hello? Scott? Hey.
What's up? Uh, I was gonna stay here tonight.
Anita, she's She's sick of my snoring.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- She says she can hear it across the hall.
- I can't believe it's happy hour.
- I know.
When I got here, everything was locked up.
I don't know where Scott is.
It's a good thing I came by.
We've got a traveling knight upstairs.
Just arrived from London.
You might have to fight her for the room.
CLARA: I'm sorry I hadn't called ahead.
Actually, I left in a bit of a hurry.
Connie, I'm sorry to say that things are amiss in London.
- Amiss? - Mm-hmm.
There's a strange atmosphere about the lodge.
Everyone below me, or Melinda, has been sent away.
Jocelyn, Anil, and some others I dunno where they are, and I dunno who sent them.
And the people above Melinda? My superiors? Well, they're actually below me in terms of the layout of the lodge.
But, yeah.
It's all gone quiet.
None of my communiqués have been answered.
I go down there, I knock on the door, and no one answers.
I don't understand.
I've got a strange feeling, Connie, that it's all because of the scrolls.
They're out in the open, and I've got to act now to get them back.
I'm gonna need your help and all.
Of course, but I don't really know anything new.
There was all this talk about Mexico when I got back, but it all seemed like a dead end.
Then we should find out.
And we should go down there.
We could make a bit of holiday out of it.
I'm not gonna lie to you, Connie, I've been cooped up, and Melinda suffers too much lately.
I need to, like really let loose do you know what I mean? The order desk? Yeah, and it's great.
Yeah, I mean, I've gotten yelled at a few times by a couple wholesalers 'cause I didn't know parts numbers, - but it's fine.
- [CHUCKLES.]
'Cause Ernie's there, the boss is really cool.
I got this badass wind breaker.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Uh But, listen, Blaise, um we're here to see you, man.
So How you doing? How's your brain feel? Or that was not the way to put it.
No, it's good.
It's, uh Just trying to calm the waves, you know? Blaise, man we're happy to see you taking care of yourself.
That stuff that happened, don't worry about it.
The lodge is always there for you, man.
I mean, right now, it kind of sucks 'cause Scott put up all these TVs.
It completely kills the vibe.
Maybe that's for the best.
We gotta stop pretending the lodge is magic.
- Hi.
- Ohh.
Ernie, Dud, this is Lamar, a fellow Lynx from Gainesville.
[LAMAR CHUCKLES.]
I get this a lot.
Don't be nervous, gentlemen.
I'm always happy to meet fans.
Smug ones, at least, and it's even better when we share an eternal bond, huh? - ERNIE: Yeah.
- You guys know Lamar? Lama Lamar is L.
Marvin Metz.
He's He's the master.
- You're the master.
- Wha Y You said you were a writer.
I thought you meant as a hobby.
I assumed you knew who I was.
Well, my fans go either one of two ways.
They get arrested trying to break into my compound or they play it cool.
[CHUCKLES.]
I figured you were playing it cool.
- No.
- Oh.
I had no idea.
I don't read thrillers.
Whoa, now! Now, they're not just thrillers.
Yeah, yeah.
His books explore very important themes, like history and love and explosions.
Boy, I am glad you guys are here.
Yeah! Ah! Blaise has told me all about you.
I can't believe it.
I just shook hands with L.
Marvin Metz, the greatest writer of his generation.
So, it's Lamar Marvin Metz? You bet it is.
[CHUCKLES.]
And, oh, uh, friends, this is Genevieve.
I met her when I first arrived at Ludibrium.
And she's now my muse.
[SPEAKING FRENCH.]
Very nice to meet you.
B-Bonjour.
Listen, I could use some fresh air and something to nosh on.
You fellas game? - Yeah.
- Hell yes! I mean, if Blaise feels up for it.
Oh, no, you guys go ahead.
Seriously, go.
I'm gonna head into the sensory deprivation tank.
Yeah.
Boom.
Good.
Kind of feels good to finally be talking to a friend.
We're not friends.
I'm here because you're paying me.
When I was a kid, I dreamed of starting a global brand, putting my stamp on every continent.
Worldwide domination? Something like that.
But instead, I'm the CEO of a regional conglomerate.
It's sad.
When you were a kid, what did you want to do? I don't know.
I wanted to go places.
I liked books about explorers and kids who get lost in the wilderness and have to figure out how to survive.
When I was 10 I sort of ran away from home.
I was gone for two days.
Yeah, I had it all planned out.
I packed books, warm stuff, food.
I wasn't trying to leave home.
Like, I was happy there.
I just wanted to see what it was like on my own.
I stayed the first night in a bush at El Dorado Park and the second night in this tunnel by the San Gabriel River.
Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
It was great.
Well, until I got home.
My poor dad He called the police and was losing his mind.
My brother cried for days and spent a year [CHUCKLES.]
checking my room every night, making sure I was there.
I wanted to tell him how fun it was, but I knew I couldn't make him understand.
I felt so horrible for putting him through it.
I knew I could never do that again.
I had to stay close.
I've never been anywhere.
I've never even left California.
I've been everywhere.
I've seen a lot of airports and corporate suites.
I'm always skimming the surface.
It's It's where I live.
But you're not afraid to go deep, Liz.
That's why I stole your story.
[SEAGULLS CHIRP IN DISTANCE.]
Do you want to get some frozen yogurt? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Hey.
Hey, big guy.
Are you lost? You look lost.
If you're lost, we can help.
I'm not lost! Now keep driving, or I'll kick your sorry little asses up and down the road! Drive! Just trying to help! [ENGINE REVS, TIRES SQUEAL.]
LAMAR: "Are you Tom Stone?" the messenger asked? "I am," said Stone.
"Did Olaf send you?" "Yeah.
Olaf wants me to give you a message.
" - [CHUCKLES.]
- "He says you only have 24 hours to decipher the Hul Jord Codex.
" [LAUGHTER.]
Stone laughed, and then he pulled out his .
228 and shot the messenger.
[LAUGHS.]
- So, it's all in your head.
- Mm.
Every line of "Operation Oslo.
" And the other 22 volumes of the "Europa Nights" series.
How many more are you gonna do? Well, to tell the story right gonna need at least 100 volumes.
- Ooh.
- Mm.
Um, Mr.
Metz, can I ask you a - No, Lamar, Lamar.
- Lamar.
Lamar, uh, can I ask you a literary question? - Mm.
- How does a muse work? - Mm.
- Like, is Genevieve your girlfriend? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
God, no.
No, no, no, no.
It's entirely platonic.
That's the only way it can work.
Dud, a muse provides inspiration.
The intoxicating riddle that lies at the heart of every great work.
Sex would only ruin my process.
That's why I haven't ejaculated in 10 years.
Well, I I won't allow myself to until I finish the tale of Tom Stone.
- Damn.
- Mm.
That's commitment.
Yeah, I'm glad I'm not a writer.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Yeah.
But I'm glad that you are, Lamar.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey, you guys know where I could score some bennies - around here? - Uh, no.
Oh.
Forget it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Forget it.
Let's eat something.
Ha ha! Mnh-mnh-mnh.
Zugzwang.
DUD: What? Zugzwang! It's a chess term.
This poor fool is in zugzwang.
It means he's in a losing position.
No matter what choice he makes, he can only make his position worse.
"Zugzwang in Zurich" is volume 10 of the "Europa Nights.
" One of my darkest journeys.
I'm so behind.
I've only read "Prague Paradox" and "Operation Oslo.
" - What? - Yeah.
You can't do that.
Well, you have to read them in order, Dud.
You miss all the intricate connections.
- I'll catch up.
I promise.
- Mm.
Zugzwang.
Heard you the first time, Lamar.
If Tom Stone is a chess expert Mm.
you must be a chess expert, too.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- So you can write about it.
Believe me, if Tom Stone knows how to do something, I know how to do something.
So you know how to kickbox and build bombs? Tom Stone ç'est moi.
"Madness in Madrid.
" Wrote that one in three days.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [BIRD SQUAWKS.]
Wow.
Um, so so, Blaise explained everything uh, uh, the library, the egg room, the scrolls, - Ernie's affair.
- I'm a Lynx He knew he could take me into his confidence.
El Confidente had a theory you were a Lynx.
He was right.
All of my books are sprinkled with Lynxian references.
Anagrams, acrostics, the book within the book, so to speak.
Now, have you heard anything from El Confidente and, uh what's her name? The big coin nut? Oh, Daphne.
Uh, no.
That ship has sailed, and it's probably for the best, 'cause all that scroll stuff just ended up tearing Blaise apart, you know.
And right now, it just feels really good to be, like, stable.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
- [BIRD SQUAWKS.]
Some men lose their nerve when they get too close to the truth.
I don't know what that's like, but I feel for Blaise.
He's a good man.
This is a beautiful map.
Tell me about the hole.
Long story.
Basically, I punched it.
It screwed up my hand.
Oh, you did way more than that, Ernie.
I did? Mm-hmm.
Signs and symbols, my friend.
Don't you see? Blaise misread the signs.
He doesn't understand the true meaning of the scrolls.
I mean, a secret formula for completing the magnum opus that opens the door to some magical unseen world? [CHUCKLING.]
I mean That's insane.
Yeah, when you think about it, it does seem kind of nuts.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- When in reality, it should be clear to any intelligent man that the scrolls are a map to the center of the Earth.
Merrill knew the greatest secret of all, gentlemen [STERNLY.]
the Earth is hollow.
Now, there's an entire world beneath our feet.
Now, is this world where the myth of Atlantis comes from? Possibly, but what is certain is that Merrill discovered a way in.
Lamar, I'm not expert, but I'm pretty sure the center of the Earth is just rock and fire.
[LAUGHS.]
In your heart, you know the Earth is hollow.
That's why you punched the map.
- I was drunk and pissed off.
- Nonsense! It was a premonition! You were desperate to get beneath the surface and see the truth! Just like me.
[BIRDS CHIRP IN DISTANCE.]
Ho! Guys, you have to believe me! There's a better world than this one.
We just need to dig through the mud and find it.
Do you believe me?! Okay.
If you need more proof, take me to your lodge.
Do you think I like making your lives a living hell? Well, the answer is yes! And it's not because I'm some sicko that gets off by inflicting pain.
- It's beca - [SCREAMING.]
[TEAM MURMURS.]
Aah! Whoo! So, how does this work? We just sit here and watch whatever show you select? Yes.
That's generally how watching TV works.
[SIGHING.]
Sorry.
I've never really done that.
Mother and father always said watching television thwarts ambition.
Yeah.
Yeah, it does.
Mmm.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHS.]
See? Look.
Merrill always hides the truth in plain sight.
Look what's beneath him.
An entire cosmos! As above, so below.
Come on, guys.
That's what that means.
Now, how do we get there? Obviously, there's an entry point at the South Pole, but it's likely he discovered other portals, as well.
There could be one here in Long Beach.
And so then, that means that the true Lodge Is inside the hollow Earth.
- Yes.
- Wow.
Connie! Good to see you.
Oh, hey, guys.
This is Clara.
- She's - Ah, let me guess.
She's your new lover.
No.
She's a friend from London, a traveling knight.
Ah.
Forgive me, Connie.
It was my understanding that you have many lovers.
I'm sorry.
Do I know you? Mm.
You know my work.
- I do? - Connie this is L.
Marvin Metz.
Holy shit.
The guy who writes those horrible thrillers.
Horrible? Connie, - we're talking about - No, no, no, no, no.
Ernie, it's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
My muscular style alienates female readers.
That's why I publish erotica under the pseudonym Melonia Delacroix.
- CLARA: Are you serious? - Mm.
You wrote "The Heiress of Zanzibar"? - [LAUGHS.]
- I read the entire sextet.
What? They're fun.
And genuinely stimulating.
Can I buy you ladies a drink? [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
So, this dude is the greatest living writer in America? Yeah.
Lamar's a genius.
Absolutely.
How else could he write so many books? Yeah.
Okay.
Do you really think that Lamar, uh is serious about this stuff? The hollow Earth? It turns up a few times in his novels.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But maybe he's a little bit confused.
- Yeah.
- You know, like, what's fact? What's fiction? Maybe that's why he's at Ludibrium.
Yep, yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
But, um Let's just Let's just think about this for a second.
All right.
Remember what Captain said? He followed those gift-basket guys to a warehouse that had a bunch of crazy drilling equipment.
Right? Right.
Now, he thought it was for oil, but there was no oil, so maybe - Whoever bought the Orbis land - Yep.
is trying to drill their way into the hollow Earth.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You wrote over 1,000 pages in a week? Jesus Christ.
I've never had writer's block.
[CHUCKLES.]
No.
No.
I have the opposite problem.
I can't stop writing brilliant prose.
Yeah.
I know that sounds arrogant, but, uh I can show you the pages.
I'll take your word for it.
My advice, Constance, write under a pen name.
That way, you can lead a double life.
Yeah? You know, your day self, and, uh your night self.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
What the hell do I know, right? Lamar, are you okay? [SIGHS.]
No.
I'm trapped.
I just keep writing and writing.
Exhausting all the possibilities of this world.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Ahhh A-h-h-h! [VOCALIZING.]
[BODY THUDS.]
Oh, my sales have been plummeting for years.
My publisher rejected my last book 'cause I refused to cut it down.
I called it turgid and repetitive.
Turgid and repetitive.
You know, my agent dropped me.
But I thought they were all fools, blind at the scope and majesty of my vision, but, uh maybe they're right.
Maybe I've been telling the same story over and over.
My, uh, therapists here think that my hollow-Earth theory is a coping mechanism.
I'm looking to escape this world.
Windows, mirrors maybe one of them is a portal to someplace new.
[CHUCKLES.]
I guess I got carried away.
Maybe you did, Lamar.
But your books mean a lot to me.
All those hours I spent alone, on the road, listening to Tom Stone, I could See? This is what happens.
You chase an impossible dream, and you end up here.
Blaise, come on.
Man, all you need is a little rest, and then you can go back to the lodge.
I can't go back there.
I'm so sorry, Dud, I dragged you down with me.
I should've kept my delusions to myself.
Blaise, man Stop! Hey! - Hello, Janet Price.
- I'm sorry, Janet.
I told him to stop, but he ignored my command.
Wait.
You two know each other? This is my personal accountant, Dr.
Kimbrough.
- Might we have some privacy? - [LAUGHS.]
This is my professional companion, - Liz Dudley.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
We have no secrets.
We know each other.
I temp for you.
I shredded a bunch of stuff.
I watched you get arrested by the FBI.
Oh.
Well, I, uh Um, they they let me go.
Because they they didn't have any evidence, and, um [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
It was a big misunderstanding.
But the whole thing's, you know, completely behind me now.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Why are you here? After all we've been through, Janet Price you have to ask? See, I was getting nostalgic about all those late nights that we spent together at your direction, doing all those things that you instructed me to do.
And I just was kind of thinking that it might be fun if we talked in detail about all the memories that we share together.
I'm not wearing a wire.
She knows.
She totally knows.
So just, uh Just come get me, okay? - Okay, just come - [DOOR RATTLES.]
Pull it.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
What's going on? [TELEPHONE RINGS.]
You bet, Mooch.
Yep.
I'll track that information down for you.
Okay.
Hey, uh, Ernie, Mooch said that he should get 90-day pricing.
What does that mean? Ernie? What's going on? Nothing.
You're thinking about Blaise, aren't you? I just hated seeing him like that.
Same with Lamar.
Man, I just can't help but think that maybe he'd feel a little better if he just ejaculated every now and then, you know? I'm not a medical professional, but, uh, I don't know.
I'm stepping outside of my [SIGHS.]
bounds here.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[SIGHS.]
Dud we should go to Mexico.
What? It's all zugzwang.
Life is one big zugzwang.
It doesn't matter what we do.
We're gonna lose anyway.
[CHUCKLES.]
And you know what? It's beautiful.
Guys like us it doesn't matter if you make the smart choice or the stupid choice.
We wind up worse off anyway.
So we may as well just Make the stupid choice! - Yes! - Yeah! Embrace the zugzwang, baby! - Yeah! - We need to go to Mexico right now.
- For the scrolls! - No.
For Blaise.
I don't know what the hell the scrolls are alchemy, Bitcoin, the hollow Earth I don't care! But I do care about Blaise.
Yeah.
- I love who he is, man.
- Yeah.
He needs to hold on to his dreams.
Yeah.
He's the best guy ever.
Yeah.
He is the lodge, man.
Yeah.
And so is Lamar.
- Yeah! - And who cares if we don't find shit?! Because we'll be on the road! - Yeah! - Together! - Yeah! - Yeah! Oh, Ernie, yeah.
Wait.
Hold on.
Uh who's gonna cover the order desk? BOB: I will! I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about, but I love it! Ernie, you got your fire back! Yeah! You need to get on the road! - ERNIE AND DUD: Yeah! - Zugzwang! Zugzwang, man.
Gentlemen I'm willing to finance this expedition.
On one condition.
You let me bring my muse.
[SPEAKING FRENCH.]
Yeah! - Zugzwang! - Zugzwang! [LAUGHTER, ALL CHEERING.]
I'm a fraud, Liz.
Omni is a house of cards, and it's call coming down.
We've been losing money for a while.
I did everything I could think of to keep us afloat you know, creative accounting.
Were you stealing from the company? You mean, was I stealing from myself? Yes, and it hurt.
I can't believe I let myself do that to me.
I accept your judgment, Liz.
What am I gonna tell the guys? They thought I was a hero.
Wait.
So, it's all done? There's nothing you can do? I need a miracle.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Lizzie! Hey.
Hello, Dud.
Liz told me that, as a boy, you cried when she ran away.
It touched me.
Who are you? This is my boss, Janet, the one I punched.
- Oh.
- What's up? Um, I'm here to pack, because we're going to Mexico! Why are you going to Mexico? It's a long story, so Tell me.
Harwood Fritz Merrill I know that name.
He's an obscure 19th century economist.
His book on management theory had a big influence on me.
Dude was a polymath.
Yeah, but mostly he's famous for just starting the Lynx, and, uh, we've got we've got lodges all over the world.
Okay, now, go back to the Bitcoin stuff.
These people, your associates, they really think the scrolls could unlock it? Bitcoin.
How does that even work? Liz, trust me, you don't want to get into it.
Oh, it's not that complicated.
Basically, it's a transactional system where you substitute money with the idea of money.
Would you please stop saying "ledger" like I know what the hell that means? Is it a real ledger or not? What is so hard to understand about keeping transparency in the transaction chain? Liz, I'm taking off.
Okay.
Well, call when you get down there.
Let me know you're all right.
Yeah, don't worry about me, 'cause I'm going with Ernie and everybody, so You wanna hug it out? - Yeah.
- All right.
Okay.
All right.
Janet, adiós.
JANET: Adiós, Dud.
Well, I asked for a miracle, and it arrived.
- What? - Liz, we need to go to Mexico and get in on this Bitcoin bonanza.
[LAUGHS.]
If that's your only hope, then there is no hope.
Accept that.
Come on.
This is your chance to go somewhere.
Plus, you can help out your friends and watch out for your brother.
We can fly down to Guadalajara tonight in my jet and rendezvous with Dud when he gets into town and has more info.
Fine.
Let's go.
Yes.
Pack a bag, and we'll need to stop by the office to get Tarquin.
Oh, my God, Liz! I am so glad you said yes to this.
It's so much better than my other plan.
Other plan? I was gonna set you up to take the fall for me, but none of that matters because we're friends now and we're going to Mexico! Girls trip! [BIRD CHIRPS IN DISTANCE.]
Wait.
What? All right.
Oh.
DUD: Lamar Here you go.
- All right.
- That's it.
- Groovin'.
- Goodbye.
Mm.
[SIGHING.]
Ahh.
- Mm.
- Let's go, Lamar! Ah! [ENGINE STARTS.]
Bye, y'all.
Scott! Where have you been? [SIGHS.]
People know a king when they see one.
Throne, a robe none of that matters.
What? When people see me, they see They see someone trying to be a king.
It's just pointless.
I'm walking around, lost.
I don't fit in anywhere.
I've got no purpose.
Yes, you do.
Scott, this is Clara.
She's my friend from London.
We're going to Mexico to find the scrolls.
[SIGHING.]
What? Here she comes.
You know, with the whole FBI thing, she's taking precautions.
[SIGHS.]
[AIR HISSING.]
When they come You discover [CORK POPS.]
You care inside It's like no other You never stay You never stay I'm on the way I'm on the way We're starting to feel okay I'm on the way I'm starting to feel okay I'm on the way I'm starting to feel okay I'm on the way I'm starting to feel okay I'm on my way