Lodge 49 (2018) s02e09 Episode Script

Le Reve Impossible

1 I'm a fraud, Liz.
Omni is a house of cards, and it's all coming down.
We need to go to Mexico right now.
- For the scrolls! - No! I don't know what the hell the scrolls are.
Who cares, because we'll be on the road! - Yeah! - Together! We're going to Mexico to find the scrolls.
We need to go to Mexico and get in on this Bitcoin bonanza.
If that's your only hope, then there is no hope.
I'm willing to finance this expedition.
Zugzwang! Zugzwang! Whoo! Mexico.
I've always felt at home down here.
The play of light and shadow.
The surreal quality of death.
It's all so goddamn voluptuous.
Many great writers have disappeared in Mexico.
Ambrose Bierce.
Oscar Zeta Acosta.
Maybe I'm next.
I-I hope not, Lamar.
No, it might be just the thing.
Disappearing in Mexico would boost my sales.
Seems kind of small for a lodge.
The original building was foreclosed.
So El Confidente moved it.
He was the last member left.
Keeping the flame alive, huh? It's beautiful.
The lodge is where you take it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
No! Don't! Oh, hey, guys! Huh? Oh! - H-Hey! Daphne.
- Hey! - Oh, man.
- Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
There's been a lot of cartel activity in the area, but, come on in.
I've been waiting for you.
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah, come on.
- Come on in.
- Whoa.
Come on.
Oh, you want to hold it? - It feels good.
It's heavy.
- Uh, Dud? - Yeah.
- Would you do me a favor, and, uh, get the toilet paper out of the van? Oh, El Confidente left those for you.
A Mariachi.
Every single time.
It means something.
It definitely means something.
There are more people coming.
Huh? Look.
See? I told you I saw Scott's truck on the 5.
They were behind us the whole time.
- Yeah.
- Oh, look, it's me and Liz.
Yeah, some of the other paintings don't really make sense.
Now, for the record, I didn't shit my pants out of fear.
No, it was all that machaca I ate on the way down.
And, no, I'm not ashamed that my muse saw me in a human moment.
There's no secrets between us.
See? Huh.
So El Confidente made you Sovereign Protector of Lodge 55? Right before he left he put the ring on my finger and gave me his gun.
I don't want to be all Scott about this, but you can't just become Sovereign Protector.
There are steps.
- You have to earn it.
- Yeah.
Like Ernie did.
I mean, even though he got screwed.
This Hey, I don't know if I earned anything.
I'm just a dude who hung around.
Oh, cometh the hour, cometh the man.
Just like Tom Stone says.
Well, my hour never came and that's cool.
I wasn't meant for the throne.
Well, I didn't ask for it.
El Confidente insisted.
He said he was going on a journey, but he didn't say where.
Something to do with his wife.
God, he's a beautiful man.
I cried when he asked me to join the Order.
And then I cut ties with Avery and the people we were working for.
I mean, screw Bitcoin, you know? I want the scrolls because they're worthless junk and it is our destiny to find them.
And here's the good news I know where they are.
Wha Wait, what? - Hey! Hey, guys.
- You made it.
Welcome to Lodge 55.
Scott should be in the middle, though.
Hey, Daphne, um, do you happen to have a charger for this kind of phone because I need to call my sister, let her know that I'm okay.
It's just a little No.
That looks like our Lodge.
Holy crap.
What's this about? I don't know, but this is you.
It looks like I'm actually writing something.
You need to find that place.
Look, Scott, uh, I'm glad you're here.
I wanted to say That you're sorry for shooting me? Well, I appreciate it.
No, I wanted to say I forgive you for banishing me.
Like a dick.
- Oh, no - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Yep, this is how it goes.
That's it.
You planning any sequels to "The Heiress of Zanzibar"? I've, uh, I've written another sextet.
Another sextet.
It's been a long time since I've had a sextet.
On my shelf.
I'll just get another beer.
Oh, sure.
Uh, absolutely.
- I'll be here.
- Okay.
Lamar, she is so into you.
You hear the way she was saying sextet.
Like she's saying "sex" without saying it, you know? I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
But you have to understand, Dud.
I can play the game, but only up to a point.
If I let myself be seduced, I'll lose my creative powers.
But it would feel good.
- Hey! - Where have you been? I've been strolling the plaza.
I've never done that before.
Just, you know, strolled.
It's great.
I sat on a bench, drank my coffee, looked around.
I even popped in the cathedral.
It's beautiful.
The naves and the altars and all that shit.
I didn't know you were religious.
Uh, I'm not, but I grew up Catholic.
So I'm cursed with a sense of grandeur.
I bought some pan dulce.
I don't want your confections, Liz.
I want you to get ahold of your brother.
I keep trying, but I told you.
There's a 99% actually, a 100% chance that Dud forgot to bring his phone charger.
Oh, God! This is a living death! I am so screwed.
I'm glad you're having a good time while my world collapses.
Uh, this was never gonna work.
I tried telling you that on the jet, but you just kept eating crème brûlée.
Excuse me.
I went to Stanford.
I can see angles and strategies that you can't.
But I still feel like searching for non-existent scrolls in Mexico wasn't the best way to solve your problem.
You're gonna have to go home and face things eventually.
In the meantime, I'm gonna enjoy your expense account.
Liz, I want you to punch me again.
It's the only thing that will make me feel alive.
I've failed you.
I turned over every stone.
I can't find Lodge 55.
It's over.
We'll leave tomorrow.
I'm gonna book another spa treatment, and then we can order up some dinner.
You make me sick, Liz.
Suckling at Janet's teat as she's being led to slaughter.
Uh, I'm getting a hot stone massage.
Do you want one? Yeah, please.
Okay, this is what I know.
There's this Antiquarian The Antiquarian is the dude who killed Roberto Nuñez.
And Roberto Nuñez is the dude who got eaten by the donkey-corn.
- Right.
- Yes, the Antiquarian.
His name is Tomás Villalobos.
Now, he's the one who stole the scrolls.
But he died of a heart attack a couple weeks ago, and El Confidente heard all about it.
Now this Villalobos guy, he's a big deal.
He sold us some of the richest collectors in North America.
He also had a massive personal collection himself, and his family is holding an estate sale tomorrow at The Hotel Granada.
If the scrolls are being auctioned, won't they go for millions? Oh, well, they're not listed.
But there's a vintage bowling bag in one of the lots.
- Ooh, ooh! - Yes! - Larry's bowling bag! - Yes! And El Confidente was confident that the scrolls are in that bag.
Now listen, everybody.
This auction, like the auction that Tom Stone shoots up in "The Antwerp Affair," will draw a host of mysterious buyers from all over the globe.
Huh? Spies.
Uh, men with eyepatches.
That's the world of antiquities.
Right? It's dangerous and cutthroat, and we need to be prepared for anything.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you nuts? We're not bringing a gun to the auction.
Relax, Scott.
It's Scott, right? Relax, Scott.
Tom Stone is an expert in firearms.
H Hey, hey.
Which means Lamar is an expert in firearms.
That's right.
I write what I know.
And from the heart.
But if it'll make you feel better, Scott, I will keep it inside the, uh, lower pocket of my cargo shorts.
Okay? Okay.
Now, I'll call ahead and reserve us some rooms at the Granada.
We can soak up the atmosphere and prepare for the big day tomorrow.
Oh, yeah! Okay.
I got us three rooms.
One for me, Ernie, Dud, and Blaise.
Whoo! Yeah.
Tiger Van for life.
And Connie, Clara, and Daphne - are in the room next to us.
- Lynx ladies.
And, Scott, you and Genevieve are on the floor above us.
What? No! That's That That's not gonna work.
- She should stay with you.
- Uh, I'm sorry, but I can't sleep in the same room as my muse.
It floods the engine.
- I won't do it.
- Ah.
It It lacks decorum.
Connie, I'm sorry.
I'm not planning anything with, um, uh, her.
Or anyone else.
Scott, don't apologize.
It's fine.
You're free to do whatever you want now.
Okay! I'm gonna go relax by the pool.
Lamar, thank you.
I haven't had a vacation in a while.
Oh, yeah, but, Ernie, remember, it's not a vacation.
It is a quest.
- Quest.
- Yes, for sure.
So, um But obviously, I'll be joining you, too.
Anyone else want to join? Uh, me.
Chlorine gives me an awful, awful, awful rash, but maybe not down here? I'm in.
I'm going to lounge around and sip a cocktail like some kind of wretched prince.
Well, I would love to join.
But I got to get down 10,000 words before 3:00.
Discipline, people.
It's the name of the game.
Connie and I are headed to the Remedios Varo exhibition.
And then dinner on the plaza.
So, see you guys in the bar later? Mm-hmm.
Enjoy your tourist traps.
Guys, I know Guadalajara.
The real Guadalajara.
And tonight I'm taking you to the best restaurant in the city.
I can't stand it.
Something is in the air.
- Oh, stop.
- The romance of the road.
Guys, I'm a married man.
Still, technically.
So, you and Connie I mean, I don't want to pry.
We had a long talk on the way down.
So it was hard but good.
Actually, I was kind of glad Clara was along.
An objective viewpoint, you know? But, yeah.
I am about to become just another divorced asshole.
Welcome to the club, man.
Scott, I don't think I've ever truly said how sorry I am about the way things went down.
Forget it.
Just forget it.
We are here now.
- I mean, we're here.
- All right.
Jesus Christ Hey, Blaise, come on.
You actually think there's gonna be anything in that bowling bag? I do.
Things get buried, then they get found.
That's the cycle of history.
And even if there's no scrolls, we'll still have Larry's bowling bag, and that's worth fighting for.
If only Larry could see this.
His knights gearing up for a battle.
Attended by the Squire.
Oh, man.
You know, there's only one thing that could make this day better.
Yeah, what's that? Hoppin' in the pool.
Swim a lap for me, man.
- I'm gonna sit here.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- Gentlemen.
- Dud! - No way! No way! Oh, my God! Hey! Hey! Look! - You came on a jet? - Yeah.
Janet check in here because she has points.
We didn't know about the auction.
She needs Dud to hook her up with the Bitcoin lady or whatever.
Dud? Dud, are you all right? Yeah.
It's just we're all together.
Thank you.
- Pretty cool, huh? - Hmm.
Why do we look like mimes in space? Lamar! Hey.
I'd like to introduce you to my sister, Liz.
- Well, hello.
- Hi.
Oh, yeah, I'd, uh, shake your hand, but my fingers are swollen from typing.
- Yeah.
- I understand.
Well, Dud told me a lot about you, but meeting you now in person, I gotta say if I already didn't have a muse, I might ask you to fill the role.
Um, don't worry.
He's not being gross.
It's a literary thing.
He hasn't ejaculated in 10 years.
No, that's that's absolutely true.
Oh, that's nice, Lamar.
But I'm not a muse.
Or should I say, I'm not a-mused.
- Oh! - Good, good.
It's the ultimate high.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So, Liz, you coming to dinner? Uh, okay.
Can I bring some terrible people along? You bet your ass you can.
Lamar, this looks great.
But I was kind of hoping to sample some local cuisine.
This is local.
I think he means Mexican food.
From Mexico.
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Scott.
Did I ruin your night? Jesus.
There's always one guy.
There's always one guy who's got to complain about everything.
Lamar, as long as you're paying - Mm-hmm.
- I will chow down anywhere.
So you can put me in touch with your people? - Sure.
If that's what you want.
- Mm-hmm.
As long as we get to keep the scrolls.
And, of course, I'll cut you both in for helping set this up.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm I'm done with all that now.
Yep, yep, it's all about the scrolls.
Money would only ruin it.
Uh, Dud, gets a finder's fee, and he gets it up front, because none of this is gonna work out.
If Janet's involved, it will work out.
You need money to pay your hospital bills.
Liz, we're in Mexico, okay? None of that matters now.
Let's go.
- Here we go, chow time! - All right! Now, before we dig into this glorious meal, I thought it might be nice to go around and each of us say something we are thankful for.
Genevieve, you first.
A few weeks ago I got into a van with a strange old man, and it was the best decision I ever made.
I'm grateful for Jocelyn.
Guy was only trying to help I treated him like crap.
I'm thankful for Mother and Father, for always pushing me and demanding perfection.
I refuse to share any details about my personal life.
I'm thankful for the dream of Harwood Fritz Merrill.
I'm thankful for the road.
And I'm thankful for something that my dad told me when he told me how to surf.
He said, "Follow your eyes.
" I'm thankful I had a pool growing up.
I like to swim.
And I'm thankful for the best dumplings in Guadalajara.
Ah! You know, the last time I was here, I actually set the record for eating the most in one sitting.
- Mm.
- How many? - 40.
- What? - Yeah.
- That's nothing.
Like you could do better.
I bet I can.
I bet you can't.
Careful, Lamar.
Liz can really eat.
She's like some kind of magical, disgusting horse.
That's right.
I bet everything I have in my wallet - Mm.
- against everything you have in your wallet.
I got a 1,000 on Lamar.
I'll take that action.
- Three bucks? Really.
- Hey.
More than I had.
These guys are great.
- Yeah.
- Gentlemen.
- Hey! - How was dinner? Dinner was insane.
- Where's Connie? - She's taking a little snooze.
She'll be done later.
Lamar around? He's that way.
Oh, man, man, man.
Hey, don't look at me.
You're a free man in a foreign land.
It's your call.
No, I can't.
I can't.
So the Lynx own land all over the world.
We're on every continent.
Even Antarctica, apparently.
Yeah, but, uh, no one pays us much attention.
A lot of lodges are closing.
Membership is down all over.
So, you're saying the Order of the Lynx is a dying institution that's willing to sell off potentially undervalued property assets all over the globe? I guess, but that's not how I think of it.
Hey, maybe once I corner the Bitcoin market I'll buy the Order and make it my own.
Wow, that was inspiring, Liz.
I wish I'd put money on you.
- Ah, next time.
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
It's that guy again.
- Oh.
He's making eyes at you.
Or eye.
I'm going in.
So all your ideas just, like, come to you in a flash? Oh, now, that's interesting.
Sean, uh, have you read the "Divine Comedy"? Uh, no, I haven't.
I haven't.
They say that when Dante first saw Beatrice standing on a bridge in Florence, he conceived all at once the, uh, grand unfolding of his celestial rose.
Well, the same thing happened to me one afternoon 10 years ago.
But I was in a Radisson near Pensacola, and I looked in the mirror and saw the inspiration for Tom Stone.
I started writing the "Europa Nights" series that afternoon and haven't stopped since.
But, uh, now it looks like I'll never complete it.
I'll never, uh, reach the heights of Paradise.
Please don't jump through another window right now, okay? Don't worry, Dud.
I'm just gonna go bitch out my agent some more.
That always makes me feel better.
All right.
Hello, Connie.
What are you doing here? I just got here from Jakarta.
I've been asked Is Is, uh Is Clara in here? - No.
- Good.
I need to talk to you about her.
I know you.
Oh, my God.
From Dr.
Kimbrough's office, yeah.
I had the honor of being his temp.
Until they Until they dragged him out.
- That was, uh - Yeah.
That was an exciting day.
So, uh, do you work over there? - At that other place? - Oh.
Uh, no.
I-I have an internship.
I'm a grad student there.
- I see.
- Wait, this Hold on.
This is nuts.
- Yeah.
- What are you doing in Guadalajara? Uh If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
- Same.
- What's up? Hey.
- Hey.
- Um I just ran into a guy I met temping.
But I guess I scared him off.
Oh, crazy.
- Yeah.
- It's that kind of night.
Liz, can I buy you a a beer? - Yes, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Dud, we need to travel more.
The key is getting involved with crazy people who own jets.
You know, um, if you become a Lynx you can stay at any lodge for free? Yeah.
And if you're the Sovereign Protector, you get an all-expenses paid trip around the world.
I mean, they used to do that, but now it's Yeah.
I know.
- Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Fine.
We'll start slow, and when we get back to Long Beach maybe we'll plan a trip.
To a National Park or something.
Yeah, sounds good.
All right! What? What? I made you a very rich man, Jerry.
Your place in Cape Cod.
Uh, Tom Stone paid for that.
And now you have the gall, the freakin' gall to tell me that I Oh, cometh the hour, cometh the man.
¡Hola, hola, hola! Hola, my man.
¿Habla inglés? Okay.
Uh I know this is gonna sound weird, but Yeah! El Confidente was right.
I guess so.
Everyone in London is very worried about Clara.
That's funny.
Because she's really worried about what's going on in London.
Are you here because of the scrolls? Scrolls? No, no, no.
God, no.
I don't know what Clara's been telling you, but, Connie, you have to understand, she's had some episodes in the past.
I know all about them.
I've had my moments, too.
Yes, but this business about the True Lodge and the scrolls.
It's all in her head.
She's been erratic lately.
Not showing up to assignments.
I've been asked to come here and bring her back.
Connie, I'm so glad you're here.
I've just done something appalling! What's going on? Anil is here to take you back to London.
He thinks you're crazy.
Do you believe him? No.
Excuse me.
I am just trying to help a colleague.
So who sent you on this rescue mission? Who gave you your orders? Melinda, of course.
Anil, I'm afraid someone in London is using you.
And I can't have that.
There's too much at stake.
I'm sorry, but you're not leaving this room.
Please, Clara.
What are you gonna do? Knock me out and tie me up? Why don't we all order some room service and we can have a nice, calm chat? So what do you guys think about, oh, shrimp cocktail? Hola.
- Oy! - You sure you don't want the bed? You're funding the expedition.
No, I'm good.
Floor's better for my back.
- This is a new one for me.
- Same.
I don't feel great about it.
Neither do I, but here we are.
He's gonna wake up at some point and Well, what's our plan here? We didn't really think things through.
I think we should probably leave immediately.
- The hotel? - Guadalajara.
Let's drive to the coast and find this place.
I think we'll end up there anyway.
That means your lot will have to handle the auction.
Do you think they can? Mm We'll just have to hope for the best and tell them to meet us there tomorrow.
It's not you.
You seem You seem very nice.
I I made vows with another woman.
And until those vows are official dissolved by the state, I-I I j I just feel if I did something it would be wrong.
And if you do something wrong, you get punished.
Night, Lamar.
Goodnight, boys.
- Goodnight, Lamar.
- Goodnight, Lamar.
I got to shift.
Ow! What the hell?! Uh, excuse me.
Do you have a bowling bag back there? Sir, please take your seat.
Only five hours in the emergency room? That's a breeze, man.
Ah, the bullet had lost most of its momentum.
It's just a bad scratch.
These things happen, Scott.
You can't spend the rest of your life blaming me.
I only have myself to blame.
I don't see a bowling bag up there.
Faith, Blaise.
Yeah! Whoa! - Ernie, you look great.
- Hello, sir.
Okay, now.
Gang, gather in.
Now, I'll handle bidding.
All right? No one's gonna care about a bowling bag, so it should be cheap.
You guys can just kick back and enjoy the ride.
Ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Farrell Higgins.
I've cried auctions all over the world, and I'm pleased to see so many familiar faces in the crowd.
Tomás Villalobos was a brilliant collector, a dear if unknowable friend.
We first met in Berlin the summer before the wall came down.
His family asked me to come down to Guadalajara to auction his estate.
Let us begin.
Our first item this astrolabe belonging to Sir Walter Raleigh.
Bidding starts at $300,000.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
Do I hear $350,000? - Seems excessive.
- $350,000 here? - Ohh.
- $400,000.
$450,000? This gorgeous binnacle was recovered from the wreck of a whaling ship off the coast of Patagonia.
Bidding starts at $50,000.
This first edition of Diderot's "Universal Dictionary of Arts & Science" is an absolute must for any private library.
- Hey.
We need one.
- Bidding begins at $20,000.
- $20,000 back here.
- You should try and get that.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
- $25,000 here - I have several sets.
$30,000 here.
Do I have $35,000? $35,000? $35,000 here.
Do I have $40,000? $40,000.
Do I have $50,000? $50,000.
$50,000 here.
This origins of this bowling bag are mysterious Whoa! but it is vintage.
Bidding starts at $200.
I have $200.
Do I hear $201? $200 going once going twice We have just received an anonymous bid for $500,000.
- What? - What? Yeah, I-I don't have that kind of money.
No, not anymore.
$500,000 going once going twice Smart business people spend other people's money, not their own.
I need my suit.
- Okay.
- Sold.
- No! - I bid $1 million! Sit down.
- That's Larry's bag! - It belongs to the Lynx! Jesus.
This is Helsinki all over again.
Please have these people removed.
- Señor.
- Lamar, let's go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Please, señor.
Por favor.
Come on, man.
It's okay Au revoir.
- Yeah! - Oh, my God! Come on, do something! - What? - Ernie! Let's go! Oh, Ernie! That was worthy of Tom Stone.
Blaise, tell us what's inside.
You have taken something that does not belong to you.
Something very valuable.
The hotel wants you all out within the hour.
So, you're not gonna go on the jet? No, I need to stick around and answer questions.
Make sure Janet's not framing me.
- I'll see you at home.
- Okay.
Are the scrolls secure? Oh.
Then Godspeed.
Our pilot will be waiting for you.
Mm, when Janet's out of custody, she'll come find you in Long Beach.
Gift shop? - Oh.
- Sure.
I never leave a town without a snow globe.
Let's roll.
- Hey, wonder where Genevieve went.
- Mm.
I don't know.
We're just lucky she passed through our lives.
Guys, I'm not a good flier.
I really wish I had like a weighted blanket or something to help me feel more secure.
Well, why don't you just get inside that? You know what? To hell with the pilot.
I'm sick of waiting.
I'll fly us out of here.
You can fly a plane? Tom Stone knows how to fly.
I can't believe it.
I'm actually flying a plane.
Just like Tom Stone.
What? Is everything okay? Oh, everything's fine.
Hey, why don't you go make us some crème brûlées? Okay.
The impossible dream.
We did it, man.
- Yeah.
- Gentlemen, the dream is over.
Uh, I pushed something and sort of set the engine on fire.
- We need to jump.
- You said you could fly a plane! In my heart I thought I could.
But don't worry, there's three parachutes.
Okay, there's two parachutes, and obviously I should take one because I'm more important! What the hell, Lamar?! I'm sorry, but you know it's true, Dud.
Society needs me.
I'm a genius.
I create timeless works of literature.
See you at the lodge, boys! Don't don't forget those scrolls! - Lamar! - Get him! - Geronimo! - Lamar! Wait! Hold on! The scrolls! All right! How are we gonna do this?! We're gonna do it together! - Okay, okay.
- I won't let go.
- All right.
- Come on.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! We did it!