Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s03e10 Episode Script

Virtually Destroyed

Look out.
What? Sayonara, sucker.
Superman? I don't think so.
Meet your replacement.
You win.
You're the better man.
-You beat Superman.
-To a pulp.
Thank you.
I was getting so sick of him.
Jaxon, haven 't you wasted enough time playing games? I' m not playing, l' m rehearsing.
Rehearse all you want.
It won 't get you what you need.
I guess I just have to get used to the idea that in this world I may just be another geek with a lot of RAM, but in that world, l' m a god.
And being a god takes a lot of practice.
That world is nothing but a pixilated pinball game unless you get those passwords from the real Lois Lane.
I'll get them.
She may not know it now but she's gonna give me everything that I want.
Chief, you' re gonna thank me.
Thank you for what? Chief, you can't just pull virtual goggles off somebody like that.
It's dangerous.
If I was in a virtual program, you could mess up my mind.
Jimmy, if these things are dangerous you shouldn't be wearing them.
oh, and what am I gonna thank you for? See, these are virtual goggles.
It's a way of transporting into another world where, in all modesty, I'm good at getting around where other people can't.
In this case I was surfing through a dating bank, trying to find you a date.
Jimmy, I don't like dating services, and I don't trust computers.
I'm most happy in this world knowing that if I grab this lamp I know I'm grabbing this lamp.
You get my meaning? -Yes, sir.
Daily Planet.
No, I'm sorry, he's not.
Thank you for the flowers and the coffee.
What's the occasion? The occasion is I'm in love and I'm getting married.
What are these? -I've been thinking about our honeymoon.
-There's a nice thought.
With all the money we're gonna save on airfare, thanks to Superman Express we can go just about anywhere we want.
Paris, Hawaii.
I don't care where we go, Lois, as long as I'm with you.
Well, let's say we go to Hawaii.
We can stay in one of those huts right on our own beach.
-oh, yeah.
-With the thatched roof and ceiling fan? -Nice soft bed.
And that is, if you like soft beds.
-Soft bed's fine.
-Because there are other kinds of beds.
There's hard, firm straw mat, futon, and some people even like the floor.
Lois, any bed that you choose will be fine with me.
Well, what if it's not? I mean, what if you expect one type of bed, and you end up getting a completely different type? You might be disappointed.
How come I get the feeling that this isn't all about beds? Well, it did occur to me that there is one or two things that we never talked about.
one or two things? -one thing.
-What thing? The thing.
That thing.
We haven't had any experience to get-- Well, much-- I mean, with each other.
-oh, God, what am I doing? -That's okay.
I'm sucking the romance out of this like a vacuum.
It's just-- Well, we've waited and I'm glad.
I'm glad too.
But then, it's for life, and what if--? I mean, what if you--? oh, if this is half as stupid as I think it is, just kill me.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Enough of that.
Lois, aren't you getting a tour of that new Fun Center? oh, the Virtual Reality Center.
Y eah.
We were just-- She was filling me in, because I'm going too.
And we're on our way.
Now we're cooking.
Since you programmed me to spur you onto greater heights Iet me just remind you why this is so important.
-File access denied.
-Access denied.
Access denied.
Lex Luthor was a very tricky man.
He liked to protect his information especially information this valuable, Jaxon.
I told you, call me X.
According to the information we can access, Lois Lane is the only other person besides Lex who knows the information-- Did I program you to repeat yourself, huh? What are you, the first cybernetic parrot? I know this already, okay? I am the one that told you.
I programmed you to challenge me.
I don't know if you remember, but I'm the one who's actually alive.
I see no reason to get nasty.
She's here.
Reminder: Be smooth and charming.
Where are your breath mints? -oh, no.
-Front right pocket.
What would you do without me? You'll have to excuse my surprise, Miss Lane, but I sent an invitation for one.
Well, Mr.
Xavier, this is my partner and fiance, Clark Kent.
Please, call me X.
-X? -X.
You know.
All right.
X, we've heard a lot about this place.
What makes it so unique? Well, my virtual world is so advanced, that I'd like to say that it's beyond virtual reality.
-How so? -Well, you see, normally VR is about computer-created sensations coming at you.
But the way that I've designed it, I bring you in.
Your mind actually travels into my world.
That sounds a little dangerous.
Well, it's no more dangerous than putting your body on a roller coaster.
You get off and on when you're told, and you're fine.
You're not afraid of roller coasters, are you, Miss Lane? Well, I guess that depends on whose roller coaster it is.
We heard this place is really popular with the kids.
It's popular.
Y esterday, the mayor paid a visit and spent three hours playing virtual golf in Scotland with Sean Connery.
Glad to know my tax dollars aren't being wasted.
Look, I can talk about this all day, but why don't you guys see for yourselves.
So where would you like to visit this morning? The mattress store? Hawaii.
okay, just slip the goggles over your eyes.
Relax and open your minds.
That's odd.
Strange vital signs.
It must be some sort of malfunctioning.
What's going on? I'm sure it's just a minor adjustment.
That's better.
See you in Hawaii.
-You hit my monitors again, Jaxon.
-Y eah, well, they were malfunctioning.
And who is this fiance-partner guy? Mr.
Clark Kent, Mr.
You know, he is not part of the plan.
He's a viral anomaly, he's-- -Jaxon-- -X.
Remember to breathe or you 'll pass out again.
Just separate Kent and Lane in virtual world then kill him if you have to.
But I've never killed anybody before.
Did you think you could take over Lex's empire .
and not kill one or two people? Well, I never really thought about it.
To acquire and maintain control, a conqueror must be willing to deceive dominate and eliminate.
Kill him.
Sounds like fun.
Clark? I' m right here.
I can't believe this.
It looks so real.
The air smells so clean.
I'd swear we were in Hawaii.
So you wanna pick up our conversation where we left off? Why don't we wait until we're really alone as opposed to virtually alone.
Well, then how about a virtual walk on a virtual beach? You seem to be having a strong emotion.
Is it -jealousy? -Shut up! You know if you were better, I could actually hear what they' re saying without going in.
Lois Lane is not someone to whom you should become attached in any way.
She 's a step in your plan.
I know that.
So now you 've deceived them.
Time to dominate.
I wonder if everything in virtual reality feels this real.
Like? Pretty real.
T rip's over.
-Why is he wearing that suit? -T o impress you.
-oh, no, he's not.
-Y es, he is.
It's time to go back to reality.
Just relax and.
That was amazing.
So do I get a good review? So now that we're back in real reality, you wanna finish our conversation? Clark, I want -Yes? -pastrami.
-What? -on rye, Russian dressing, sliced pickles side of slaw, cream soda, and then.
-And then? -And then we can deal with that thing.
-I think I'll have some fries too.
-You're nervous.
I feel much better.
-You want anything else? -Just watching made me full.
I'm not full at all.
It's weird.
Anyway, here's what's been bugging me.
The other night, I was thinking about all of my past relationships and so, what I did was, I made a list of all the positive ones and all the negative ones.
And? And they all ended up in the negative column.
Especially my last one with Lex.
But now you have me, so none of that matters.
oh, Clark.
"Oh, Clark.
" It would be great if I didn't have to leave virtual world every time I wanna program.
Now I can't hear what's going on.
You'll never really grow as a human being if you continue to blame machines for your ineptitudes.
Ineptitudes? Ineptitudes? I'll show you ineptitudes.
Say goodbye to " oh, Clark.
" My point is that I've worked through a lot of my fears.
A lot.
Except maybe one.
And it's not really a fear.
It's actually more of a concern about that thing.
Well, actually, you bring up a good point because we've never really talked about our past.
Right, exactly.
And, well, I just wanted you to know why I'm a little skittish about crossing the intimacy threshold and you've been so understanding, I thought maybe you were a little skittish too? Well, my experience has been a little different.
I'm a little different.
I mean, I've had girlfriends.
I've dated.
But that thing? The intimacy threshold? The big threshold? I've never really crossed it.
-I've stepped up and taken a good look.
-oh, my God.
Lois, I'm not from here.
So I'm always asking myself, do I really belong? -Am I supposed to have a life with--? -oh, my God.
Lois, are you listening? Because I'm kind of pouring my heart out here.
oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm just a little-- -Could we walk? -Sure.
So, what you're saying is, is you're a ver-- A very patient man.
Lois, I needed to be sure.
I needed to meet the one person I could share everything.
I admire the way you dealt with this.
I just also feel real-- -Y eah? -I just wish you'd told me.
This is big.
-I didn't know how to bring it up.
-That adds pressure to a situation that has plenty of pressure.
There is no pressure, because I'm sure that I've made the right choice.
You are the person that I've waited for.
I just wish I had waited too.
-No, no, no.
-Well, I do.
Especially since they were practically federal disasters.
Well, then, think of it that way.
I'll be your first non-federal disaster.
You'll be my first-- I can't fly.
That way.
I've had it.
He just squeaked out by inches.
You have to get tougher, bolder, like Lex Luthor.
Don't bring him up.
This has nothing to do with him.
This is my plan.
Do you hear me? And we' re gonna do it my way.
And my way is subtle.
Thanks, Superman.
Superman? -Are you all right? -Fine.
Are you? Fine, except I don't have any powers.
I think that's because you're not all you.
Citizens, be careful crossing the street.
Have a nice day.
Did he just call us citizens? That guy sounded more like RoboCop than me.
Something is very wrong here.
I think I know what it is.
Clark? -We're still in the virtual world.
-We're still in the virtual world.
Jaxon's trapped us in here.
What are we gonna do? Just act normal.
See where he lets us go.
But I don't think he likes me very much.
-What? We had an intimate conversation in a computer with who knows who's listening.
oh, he's gonna pay for this.
I can't just reach into her brain and yank out what I want.
I've gotta make her tell it to me.
I've gotta make her vulnerable, yet trusting.
-I've got to-- -We have a problem.
-What is it? -Clark Kent's vital signs are dropping.
oh, that's good.
Maybe Lois killed him for me! This isn't right.
-It's not possible.
Stop banging my monitors.
-Well then, quit malfunctioning.
I am not malfunctioning.
It's his readouts.
They're screwing up my circuits.
Why don 't you just kill his body right here? Because Lois Lane has to feel that she's in her world.
A world where she can trust what happens and why.
I mean, Clark Kent, he can die but she has to see it and then be comforted.
By me.
Let's get her to her apartment, where she feels safe.
We have been up and down every street and we always end up right in front of your apartment.
And I'm getting sick of seeing the same 1 0 people.
-What shall we do? -Well, he must want us to go inside.
What do we do now? Act normal.
How could I act normal? Look at this place.
How about some tea? T ea.
I wonder what flavor they have in virtual reality? Jaxon, they've arrived at Lois ' apartment.
How are we coming? Just a few minutes.
It seems as if Mr.
GQ here has shorted out some circuits.
He's thicker than he looks.
Clark? I guess, no tea.
You know, when we were at the beach he showed up when we started kissing and that car chased us down when we were in the street holding hands.
So? So maybe if we get close right now, he'll make his move.
Kiss me.
oh, I never thought I could be uncomfortable kissing you.
Don't think about it.
Still nothing.
Anything? -It's starting to be more comfortable.
Almost ready here.
Just another minute.
Jaxon I think you should take a look at what's going on.
There 's a major power surge coming.
This isn't really happening, is it? No, it's all in our minds.
How come it feels so real? oh, I've got an idea.
She's so hot for Kent.
oh, Clark.
Kent, it's time you and I had a little talk.
Lois, don't interrupt.
She has to be let out through the escape window.
See, if you remove those goggles from her eyes you're gonna separate her mind and body forever, Mr.
Y es.
That's right, Mr.
She's trapped in my virtual world and I'm the only one that can get her out because I control the escape window.
So if you wanna save your little love then you're gonna have to do it on my terms.
You're bluffing.
I could just pull these goggles off and she's out.
Do it, Mr.
Kent, and she dies.
Well, you leave me no choice.
You've got a choice.
You can step back into my virtual world, and we can go mano a mano.
You and me.
Well, that wouldn't be fair.
That's your world.
-But in this world-- -ln this world, Mr.
Kent you take one more step forward, I can promise you, you will never get her back.
You know, I've wondered ever since fourth grade what it would feel like just to pound guys like you.
And I gotta say it's weird, because it feels great.
I love it.
So if you wanna leave, go on.
If you wanna call the cops, fine.
Because I can promise you, before they can get here I will have everything that I need from her.
You can call in the 87th Airborne.
Nothing is gonna stop me.
Lois, I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Good dresser? Y es.
Computer expert? No.
Lois? -What happened? -I was in this weird place for a minute all white, and then I was out on the sidewalk.
What happened to the big guy? He disappeared right after he threw you out the window.
What is going on? I don't know, but when I was in the white place I saw all these icons and heard all these voices, all about Lex Luthor.
-Lex? -I think all of this has something to do with Lex Luthor and your relationship with him.
Check out her data.
Likes to fly-fish and discuss politics.
Jimmy, first of all, I don't know if I'm ready to date yet.
And secondly, this isn't her.
I mean, I don't know this woman.
This is all electrons and plastic.
Chief, you're describing some of my best relationships.
You can have the whole thing right at your desk.
If it doesn't work out, dive back into the net and get another.
Disposable love.
Electronic romance.
-What would the King say? -Chief the King would say, "Go for it, Perry.
" I don't know.
I'm gonna have to think on this one.
-I need your help.
-You got it.
-Dig up everything on Jaxon Xavier.
Jaxon Xavier.
All right, let's see what we got here.
Jaxon Xavier.
Used to work for Lex Luthor at Lex Labs.
A genius and the pioneer in virtual reality.
Jimmy, all these computers work on some kind of a link, don't they? These days, all computers are hooked up to an online system.
Can you break into Xavier's computers over at Virtual Center from here? I could try, but I'd need much more powerful equipment.
Just tell me what.
So did you and Lex ever talk about children? -Well, yeah.
-And what were you gonna name them? -Clark, l-- -It's important, Lois.
Trust me.
Great shades of Elvis.
Jimmy, what's going on here? I don't need a date this bad.
There you go.
The last parts.
-Well, Superman, what's going on here? Lois is in danger.
I need you to call the police.
Have them surround the Virtual Center.
Tell them do not go inside until I say.
otherwise, Lois could die.
You got it.
-How are we doing? -We are almost there.
Good job, Jimmy.
Superman, I can't create an exit window for us so unless we can find Jaxon's escape window, we're gonna be trapped inside.
-Maybe forever.
-Jimmy, you don't have to go inside.
There's no reason for you to risk your life too.
I know more about computers than you do, Superman.
It's about information.
You gotta know how to access it and channel it.
It's like a video game where you have to load up on ammo and fuel to win.
-And I'm the king of video games.
-This isn't a game, Jimmy.
I know.
I'm just trying to lighten the moment.
Are you ready? I'm Superman.
Good point.
Let's break in.
It's time to power up.
The more information we get in here, the stronger we are.
Let me show you.
Lex wanted an X in every child's name.
-I wasn't so-- -of course.
What were they? -Alexis, Roxanne and Lynx.
-Lynx? Alexis, Roxanne, Lynx.
T ry them, computer.
Clark, what are you doing? We 're gaining access to the forbidden banks.
Final access denied.
This guy sounds like Clark.
It's not Clark.
Believe me, no matter what he looks like.
He's not Clark.
-What's the other name? -There is no other name.
That's it.
I don't have time to play.
Someone is tapping into my system.
Now-- Wait! of course! Computer, try the name Jaxon! One moment.
Lois, did Lex ever tell you he had a child from another woman? Yes.
He said he and the boy's mother were killed in a car accident.
Killed? -The password "Jaxon " is invalid.
-lnvalid? Invalid? Give me that name.
I don't think so! Why do you keep hitting me with vases? You' re him, aren't you? X.
My name is Jaxon Xavier Luthor.
I am Lex Luthor's son.
I never died.
And you-- You were almost my mother.
I didn't think things could get any worse than they are.
I need that name.
Superman, I'm gonna stall him.
Hurry up.
-Hold it.
Jimmy who? Come on! All right.
If that's the way you wanna play it.
Check this out.
Not so fast, Jaxon.
I should've known.
You can die in here, Fly Boy.
Let's go.
This is it, Superman.
How does it feel to know you're going to die? Lois.
What is it with you? I'll be with you in a moment.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Where'd they go? -I have no idea.
-What? You have no idea? How can you have no idea? Because the last time I looked, I wasn 't a map.
Well, they have to be in the system somewhere.
We have to find them.
Why don 't you concentrate on the last name Lois wouldn 't give you.
It's the final key to the system.
If they get inside, they' re gonna screw everything up.
You access the Luthor files.
I'll look for the intruders.
That's why they call it a partnership.
All right, all right, fine.
But find them.
We' re over here.
Hello? Lois.
Over here.
Follow my voice.
Where are we? What happened? Superman learns pretty fast.
He jumped us out of the VR world into the computer's unused memory.
I don't know how long we can hide in here, though.
Lois, what does he want? He's Lex Luthor's son.
-Luthor had a son? -lllegitimate.
My man.
-I don't know what he wants.
But he was obsessed with knowing what Lex was gonna name his children.
He wanted access codes.
-Access to what? -See, this is Luthor's system.
Are you telling me that we're inside something Lex made? Y eah, there was rumors that his cybernetics division was working on VR that could mess with your head, brainwash.
No wonder he had the mayor in here.
Lure the most powerful people in the world inside a VR amusement park, brainwash them and when they step outside, they're yours.
So, Jimmy.
How do we stop him? Wait.
The last name.
What if it wasn't Luthor's choice? What if it was hers? What if it was--? .
Access granted.
-We're in.
My father's mind-control system.
It's all here.
We're in! All I have to do is link it with my VR and every president is my puppet every general is my toy soldier.
Excuse me.
We still haven 't taken care of our three intruders.
We gotta get more power.
Power is the key.
We gotta get you hitting hard, Superman.
Jimmy, this can't just be about power.
No matter how much we steal, he's always gonna have more.
Doesn't there have to be some sort of emergency button to get back to reality? The escape window.
We gotta find it.
Well, what would it look like? Anything.
But it'll always be where he can see it and always get to it.
The watch.
Lex Luthor.
He had it on his left wrist.
Did Clark touch the watch before he was thrown out of the window? Yeah.
I think he said that he did.
Well, I say we find that watch, we're out of here.
Getting it is gonna be the hard part.
-Not if we use our best weapon.
-What's that? What we know about him.
I've been asked to give you a message being downloaded now.
-A message? -Here it is.
Hey, Chicken Boy.
Come in and fight.
You 'll find us in front of the Virtual Planet.
Apparently, they don 't know to call you X.
What are you gonna do, Chicken Boy? Go ahead.
T ake your best shot.
I can't let you do it, Superman.
He'll kill you.
Don't be ridiculous, Lois.
-I'm gonna kill both of you.
-Lois, do you mind? We're trying to fight here.
-Jaxon, I know why you're so angry.
-Shut up.
Lex probably thought of you as a mistake.
And he was never very good at acknowledging his mistakes.
Shut up.
I'm not a mistake.
He kept you around so he didn't feel guilty.
He never told anyone you were his son, did he? And he never told you how proud he was of all the work you did at his company.
He never gave you his name.
In fact, he told people that you were dead.
That's why you like it in here, huh? You can shut all that out, pretend it never happened.
But it did happen, and no matter where you run you can't hide from what you really are.
No! No! -You all right? -Yeah.
He's inside.
What happened? -He disconnected.
-ls he dead? He's still breathing, but.
-The system crashed.
-How? Well, I'd have to run a diagnostic, but it looks like he did it on purpose.
-So he could still be in there? -His mind anyway.
And if it is, it's not a place you'd wanna be.
Ten computer experts have been in and out of Jaxon's system for a week.
So far, no sign of VR world, Luthor's programs or X.
I tell you, I never trusted those machines, and now I know why.
The minute you separate mind from body, you're asking for a whole lot of trouble.
-You are preaching to the converted.
Chief, speaking of conversions you think I can talk you into picking up your board and surfing the love net? Jimmy, I'm too old to surf and too smart to think that you can catch love in a net.
I was thinking about that thing.
-I'm really glad that we talked.
-Me too.
You know, just when I think I know everything there is to know about you you take my breath away with something new.
Good, because that's exactly how I feel every single time I see you.
I am counting the hours until our honeymoon.
In the meantime, what do you say we go get some pastrami.
-You cannot be hungry again.
-I'm a bottomless pit.