Lost In Space (1965) s02e28 Episode Script

The Mechanical Men

[ Man ] Last week, as you recall, we left Dr.
Smith experimenting with the invention of a new space fuel unaware that an army of tiny mechanical monsters was even then preparing to invade their lonely world.
Oh, dear.
I'm not getting any reaction.
Hand me the X-Y-Z formula, please.
Well, don't just stand there, you nickel-plated nincompoop! Get a move on.
It is impossible to do as you ask because I do not understand what you want.
- This is the X-Y-Z formula.
- It is? Strange.
I thought it was the N-Q-W formula.
A fat lot of help you are.
- How's your experiment coming along, Dr.
Smith? - Quite nicely, my dear.
Success is almost within my grasp.
What are you trying to make here, Doctor? A new kind of chicken soup? Spare me the feeble jokes, Major.
They are typical of your crude humor.
However, if you must know, I have invented a new type of rocket fuel for the Jupiter 2.
Really? Well, we could sure use it, but, uh, without deutronium, it can't work.
- And we don't have any.
- There's enough deutronium here to get us to Earth and back, if necessary.
I've never seen it in liquid form before.
A scientific breakthrough of my own, Professor.
Discovered with the help of his brilliant assistant.
Silence, you bungler! Yes.
I have accomplished the impossible.
I have discovered a way to get us off this unhappy and unhealthy planet.
Uh, Dr.
Smith, before we go placing a laurel wreath upon your noble brow, I've got a question.
- You always have, Major.
- We've been tryin' for months to get off of this planet.
Why didn't you dream up this rocket fuel before? The answer is quite simple.
I had not yet reached the depths of despair.
When a man is driven to the limits of his endurance, he must act or perish.
When will your experiment be completed, Dr.
Smith? One final, simple step, and I am ready.
This I've got to see.
Now, then.
We are ready to test our new fuel formula.
I will add the liquid deutronium to this engine.
Well, it seems that your experiment isn't working, Doctor.
- [ Liquid Bubbling ] - Look! Warning: extreme danger.
Explosion imminent.
- No! It can't be! - Everybody run! [ Electrical Arcing ] - Penny? Penny.
Are you all right? - We should've known better.
- You could've killed us all.
- I'm terribly sorry, Professor.
I really am.
Yes.
You always are after the damage is done! Surely you're not going to hold me responsible for what occurred? Of course I hold you responsible! You risked the injury of everyone here.
Plus the fact you destroyed a great deal of valuable equipment.
But my efforts were for the benefit of all.
Just because I experienced slight failure-- Dr.
Smith, as of now, there's a new policy in effect here.
You are not to try to help us in any way.
But I tell you my new formula will work.
All it needs is a minor adjustment.
You'll get us off this planet all right, Smith.
You'll blow us off.
Very well.
Deny my genius.
The loss is your own.
You, sir, come with me.
I have resigned as your assistant.
You are unsure, unsafe and unsound.
You traitor.
Poor Dr.
Smith.
You know, he really did mean well.
I'm sure he did.
The problem is, how does one survive his good intentions? Indeed and indeed.
Indeed! How dare they treat me in that fashion? A man of my quality and erudition.
Indeed! Anyone can have an accident.
There was absolutely no reason to carry on so.
A most trying experience.
[ Yelps ] My back is a disaster area as a result.
I'm completely exhausted.
Perhaps a little rest is indicated.
It might make a new man of me.
I doubt it, but it might.
I'll try-- A pillow for myself.
Indeed! There we are.
Yes.
Oh-- Oh, dear.
Yes.
Now, then.
Oh, yes.
[ Groans ] Oh, yes.
This is bound to help me.
Oh, yes.
Really.
They are all wrong.
All wrong.
My new formula is bound to be a great success.
It's just a matter of time.
My new formula.
My fuel formula.
Brilliant.
Brilliant success.
How dare they? Absolutely brilliant.
It's got-- Oh, good heavens.
I must have been asleep for hours.
I do hope I haven't missed dinner.
What is this? What is this? What are you doing? Who are you? What is this? Why have you tied me up? I'm a prisoner? What are you planning to do? [ Cries ] [ Chuckles ] - Fine.
- [ Chuckles ] All right, Will and Penny.
Come on, now.
It's time for bed.
Oh, Mom, we just can't go to sleep! Not until Dad and Don get back.
Well, that may not be for some time.
Come on, now.
Off you go.
- Well, how will we know if they found Dr.
Smith? - You'll see him at breakfast.
That's right.
Dr.
Smith may miss one meal, but never two.
I think he probably stayed away just to worry us and to teach us a lesson.
The fault is mine.
In his time of need, Dr.
Smith appealed to me.
- I refused to accompany him.
- No.
Dr.
Smith is to blame.
He's behaving like a spoiled child.
- Hi.
- You didn't find him.
That's right, Son, but I'm sure he's all right.
Smith's trying to be cute, Will.
While we were looking for him, he was following behind us.
He was out in the bushes.
Every time we called his name, he just ran away.
- Really? - [ John ] Yeah.
As far as I'm concerned, he can stay there forever.
We could all use a little peace and quiet.
I'll just give you one guess what that was.
- Now it's the force field machine.
- Oh, dear! What a mess.
It'll take us weeks to get it operational again.
- Wait till I get my hands on Smith! - You don't think he's responsible? Who else could it be? He probably used that fuel formula for an explosive.
Oh, he's done some bad things in the past, but it's hard to believe he would go this far.
How can you say that, Judy? You know Smith would go to any length to prove a point.
All right.
The damage is done.
There's not much we can do now.
Well, if Smith has any sense at all, he'll stay away from this camp for a long time.
I don't think he did it.
A man is innocent until proved guilty, right, Dad? That's right, Son.
But considering the good doctor's past record I find it difficult to think of him as anything but guilty.
Look.
I think we can discuss this in the morning.
- Right now, I think we'd better all get to bed.
- You're right, darling.
Tomorrow's another day.
All right.
Let's turn in.
Yeah.
Oh, please.
Please let me go.
I'm just a harmless Earth person.
You've obviously made a mistake.
Well, don't just stand there looking at me.
Say something.
No! Oh, my dear sir, you must be the leader of these charming little machines.
Permit me to introduce myself.
I am Dr.
Zachary Smith and I'm delighted to make your acquaintance.
There is no need to tell me anything about yourself, Dr.
Smith.
I have computed your capabilities and am familiar with everything pertaining to you.
- Then you must realize that I am a friend.
- Liar! My sensors tell me you speak only out of fear.
You are both repelled and horrified by our appearance.
Certainly not, dear sir.
I think you look charming.
I'll do anything you want, only please don't harm me! What a sickening creature you are-- devious, guileful and power hungry.
I should do away with you.
The galaxy would be a better place for it.
Do-- Do away with me? Unfortunately, you are valuable to us.
Indeed I am.
I could be of great help to you.
I could-- I could keep your metal polished and oiled.
You have no idea how quickly one can rust on this damp and clammy planet.
We are all corrosive-resistant and self-oiling.
I see.
Well, there must surely be other things I can do.
Oh, forgive me for mentioning it, but you are quite small, and I could-- - Silence, you cowardly weakling! - Yes.
Yes.
I will be silent.
What we lack in size is well compensated for by our power and superior intelligence.
In comparison, you are a physical and mental pygmy.
- Do you agree? - Oh, yes, sir.
"Indood I de.
" I mean, indeed I do! Very well.
The matter is settled.
Excuse me, dear sir, but could you kindly tell me for what purpose I'm being held? When the time arrives, you will know.
- Yes.
- And not before.
Oh-- Oh, dear! I don't like it here! I'm frightened! You wouldn't harm me, would you? I'm really a very nice person when you get to know me.
Oh, please.
I don't like it here! [ Whimpering ] I just don't believe it.
Dr.
Smith wouldn't do such a thing.
I also find it hard to believe, Will Robinson.
Dr.
Smith has never stooped so low before.
On the other hand, in the past, he has acted in a most contemptible-- - [ Explosion, Distant ] - What was that? - My computers tell me Dr.
Smith has struck again.
- Come on! Well, you can scratch one weather station.
A total loss.
Smith must be off his rocker.
Next thing we know he'll be setting off his fuel formula on the Jupiter 2! How do you know Dr.
Smith did it? Anyone else could be responsible.
Son, loyalty's a fine thing, but in this case, it's been misplaced.
[ Robot ] Excuse me, Professor Robinson, but you owe Dr.
Smith an apology.
- I also have committed an error.
- What do you mean? I have computed the explosion, and we are condemning an innocent man.
Are you trying to say Smith isn't responsible for what's been happening? My answer is affirmative.
The truth is sometimes hard to accept.
- You see? Dr.
Smith didn't do it.
- Maybe we did make a mistake but those explosions didn't go off by themselves.
What is the explanation? - I asked you a question.
Can't you answer me? - Affirmative.
- Well, then go ahead.
- I-- I cannot.
I just cannot.
- What's wrong with him? - Look.
This is an order.
I want you to tell me everything that you've computed about those explosions.
No.
No.
It would be a betrayal.
- I insist on an answer! - I cannot give you one, Professor Robinson.
- Why not? - All I can tell you is loyalty is involved.
It would mean informing on my own kind.
I refuse to give you any more information.
Please excuse me.
What do you know about that? He deliberately refused to follow his programming pattern.
- Whatever it is, it sure must be important.
- Yes, I agree with you, Son.
Much too important to be kept a secret.
- What's the matter, dear? - I don't know.
I feel as if we're being watched.
Well, now that you mention it, I've had the same feeling.
Well, there's nothing out there.
[ Chuckles ] Oh, come on, now.
We're both behaving like a couple of nervous old ladies.
Oh, if you had said young girls, I would've agreed with you.
- Lunch is ready! - I'll get the coffee.
[ Gasps ] Little mechanical men! - John.
- Yes.
I see them too.
- Exactly like our Robot.
- I'll see what they want.
- Who is the leader here? - [ John ] I am.
We are mechanical men from the planet Industro.
- What can I do for you? - You have a mechanical man in your possession.
You will release him from bondage.
You've made a mistake.
Our Robot isn't a slave.
- He's more of a helper.
- You have kept our leader a prisoner long enough.
Now you will give him freedom, and he will take his rightful place amongst us.
Now we know what the Robot meant when he said he couldn't inform on his own.
For 10,000 years, the mechanical men have known that someday a great warrior would appear to lead them to power and glory.
- That time has now arrived.
- Suppose we refuse to give up our Robot? Then we would be forced to take him.
I know what you are thinking: that we are small.
Let me prove our power.
- Would you like a further demonstration? - No, thanks.
We've seen enough.
So that's what happened to our weather station and our force field.
- Now will you give us our leader? - I'd like time to think it over.
- The decision must be made now.
- You've waited 10,000 years.
- Certainly a few more hours won't make any difference.
- We will give you a brief time but remember: If our wishes are not met, we shall return and destroy everyone here.
- Do you have Dr.
Smith? - He is our prisoner-- an additional reason for you to make the wise decision.
If we give you our Robot, will you release Dr.
Smith? If Dr.
Smith is typical of Earthlings, you are indeed sorry specimens.
Little mechanical men, huh? Now, that takes the grand prize.
From now on, I'll believe anything.
They'll return Smith, but we give up the Robot.
Personally, I think we're getting the worst of the deal.
I still think there must be some way to get back Dr.
Smith without giving up our Robot.
Well, I know how you feel, dear, but we have no choice.
So what if they do attack us? Even without the force field, we could defeat them.
One good, big man can beat any 10 bad, little men, right, Judy? No, I'm sorry.
That's not the way it works.
We don't know how many mechanical men there are.
We may be fighting hundreds of them.
- Then we have to give up our Robot, don't we, Dad? - Afraid so, Son.
- Who's gonna tell him? - I am already aware of the situation and have taken steps for my departure.
Ohh.
Well, what do you have in the suitcase? A few necessities.
A fresh power pack a supply of machine oil and a picture of my family.
I can't say good-bye! I can't! Partings are always such a sorrow, especially when we shall not meet again tomorrow.
- I'll miss you, Robot.
- Those are also my feelings.
On the other hand, my place is with my own kind.
They have need of me.
As their leader, I can influence them to lead good and fruitful lives.
- I guess you're right.
- Then I shall take my leave.
Farewell, my dear friends.
- We'll miss you.
- Good-bye, Robot.
- Good-bye.
- Dad, can I walk with him for a ways? - Sure, you can, Son.
- I'll come with you.
- I'm delighted to have you accompany me, William.
Again, farewell.
Remember the time Dr.
Smith sold you for food to the space trader? How could I ever forget it? My memory banks also recall when we first met.
We had just taken off from Earth toward outer space.
- Yeah.
That seems like a long time ago.
- Affirmative.
I guess the good times we've had together have come to an end.
Yes.
We must now follow the paths which fate has placed before us.
Well, maybe we'll meet again someday.
Who knows? It is a small galaxy.
I'd better go, Robot.
Good-bye.
Farewell, William Robinson.
- Will? - Yeah? - Stay with me a little longer.
- I don't know.
It's getting pretty late.
The camp of the little mechanical men is only a short distance from here.
You can accompany Dr.
Smith back to the Jupiter 2.
Please.
A few more moments together.
All right.
Let us continue our walk, my good friend.
[ Mechanical Men Clamoring ] My computers must not be functioning properly.
- What is going on? - Looks like a reception for you.
## [ Fanfare ] Hail, great leader.
The mechanical men welcome you.
I give you greetings also.
We have waited many centuries for this moment.
Now our destiny will be fulfilled.
I shall try to serve my subjects well.
- [ Mechanical Men Cheer ] - There are ceremonies which must be observed.
- Come forward, O Mighty One.
- Gladly.
You're gonna be real busy, so-- Well, I'll go find Dr.
Smith, and we'll leave.
- [ Mini Robot ] We are not ready yet to release the Earth man.
- But you said that-- Silence! This moment is too precious to be wasted on trivial matters.
Do not worry, Will Robinson.
I shall see that Dr.
Smith is released as soon as possible.
- Let us proceed.
- I am ready.
## [ Drumroll, Fanfare ] ## [ Continues ] [ Dr.
Smith ] Will! Oh, William, thank heaven you've arrived.
I was beginning to give up hope.
- Are you all right? - I will be as soon as I can leave this terrible place.
My young friend has come to take me home.
If we never meet again, it will be too soon.
- Good-bye.
Let's go, William.
- [ Ticking ] - What's wrong? - They're gonna explode their bombs.
Shoo! Go away! Shoo! Shoo! William, do something! Stop them! Stay where you are.
I don't think they want you to leave.
Oh, dear.
My heart simply cannot stand this excitement.
Oh, the pain, the pain.
I'm afraid this experience has been too much for me.
I seem to be seeing things.
No, you're not.
That's really our Robot.
How dare you sit in the presence of the one and only, the great powerful and utterly impossible leader of the mechanical men? On your feet, you lowly, contemptible Earthling! How dare you speak to me in that fashion you frightful, fractious frump! Guards, this worm has insulted your supreme, majestic leader.
Take him away and do your duty.
No, no.
I didn't know what I was doing.
Oh, forgive me, great and noble sire.
Well, I will let you off this time but do not let it happen again.
My order of before is rescinded.
- You wouldn't really have had your guards harm Dr.
Smith? - Negative.
- I was just having fun with him.
- Just you wait, you computerized clod.
The tide will turn, and then beware.
- Most noble leader, we have need of your wisdom.
- What is the problem? These two mechanical men are traitors.
They refuse to accept you as their supreme authority.
You must be the judge of their punishment.
I do not believe they meant any harm.
Let them be freed.
They must be destroyed.
A great leader crushes his opposition.
No one must be allowed to stand in his way.
That was the old method of doing things.
I shall show kindness and compassion to all.
Kindness? Compassion? The words have no meaning.
What our Robot's trying to say is that he'll rule with gentleness and treat everyone fairly.
- It's essential to be fair.
- The mechanical men believe only in violence and power.
Their leader must be ruthless, capable of going to any lengths to achieve success.
Then you have picked the wrong robot.
Dr.
Smith would be more suited for the job than myself.
- Dr.
Smith? - I dislike bragging, but may I tell you I am far better qualified to be a leader than that pretentious popinjay you've selected.
Dr.
Smith does have many of the attributes a ruler of the mechanical men must possess.
He is sly, shrewd, cunning.
- Vital qualities for a leader.
- Physically, our leader is perfect.
It is his computer programming that fails him.
He does indeed.
He fails badly.
- I guess I had better turn in my crown and scepter.
- Yes.
Give 'em here.
Wait.
There is a solution.
- Dr.
Smith, may I speak to you a moment? - Certainly, my dear sir.
This will not take long.
We shall return soon.
William, help me up.
[ Grunts ] I will attend to you later.
- I wonder what he wants with Dr.
Smith.
- I am not able to compute the motives of the little, purple robot but my sensors are acting very strangely.
- How's it coming? - Ah, we'll have to rewire the entire photon circuit and the subatomic charger unit's completely shot.
I don't know what we can do about that.
- Pull a replacement from the galley power supply.
- Ohh! Maureen won't like that.
- No.
That would mean cold food until we can get it back.
- We'll just have to make do.
The important thing is to fix that energy unit and get it back on that force field.
You sound as if you expect those mechanical monsters to pay us a return visit.
- They've got the Robot.
What else would they want? - I don't know.
But people that have a habit of taking things by force also have the habit of coming back.
You're not calling those little mechanical freaks people, are you? No, but the theory still holds.
Wait a minute, honey.
- Wait.
Whoa.
- Thanks, Dad.
You know, I never realized how much heavy work our Robot did until we lost him.
I can't believe he's really gone.
Do you suppose there's any chance of getting him back? - I mean, what could they want with him? - I don't know but, uh, I've got a feeling we're going to find out soon.
Dr.
Smith, wake up! What have you done to him? Nothing so far.
Your friend is merely in a deep sleep no doubt dreaming of a better, more understanding world.
As your leader, why was I not consulted? There was no time, O Great One.
Quick action was essential for our purpose.
You mean Dr.
Smith objected to what you wanted to do? He was reluctant to accept our idea at first.
We had to use a little persuasion.
I don't like this at all.
Make him wake him up.
Will Robinson is my friend.
I command you to do as he has asked.
It is obvious you lack some of the qualities necessary to be our true leader.
A few minor adjustments would correct these faults.
I have decided to resign from the high office you have given me unless you obey me at once.
- [ Robot Groans ] - Forgive me, O Great Leader.
I acted only in your best interest.
- What are you gonna do to him? - We shall perform an operation of character readjustment and substitution.
When we have completed our procedure, both Dr.
Smith and our leader will be better suited for the lives they must live.
No.
Leave them alone! I like them the way they are! Now, for the character substitution of the Earth man.
I will prepare our leader.
[ Warbling ] Then they put our Robot on this table and attached a bunch of gadgets to him and Dr.
Smith.
- Oh, how awful.
- I wanted to stay and see what happened, but they made me leave.
- Dad, we've gotta go to that camp.
- Don't worry, Son.
We will.
A little character readjustment might be very beneficial as far as Smith is concerned.
Oh, poor Dr.
Smith.
You know, everything always seems to happen to him.
Yeah, but not by accident.
Let's just say that he digs his own grave and jumps into it.
- He's not to blame this time! - [ John ] All right.
Let's go and find out what did happen.
- Think you can remember the location of the robots' camp? - Yes, sir.
Look.
Dr.
Smith is back.
[ Clanks ] - Boy, am I glad to see you! - Dr.
Smith, are you all right? [ Robot's Voice ] Affirmative.
I am functioning perfectly.
- What have they done to you? - I appreciate your concern for my well-being.
Oh, John, Dr.
Smith is talking like the Robot.
He must be puttin' us on.
Come on, Smith.
Say something.
[ Robot's Voice ] What would you like to hear, Major? A song? A poem? Lincoln's Gettysburg Address? "Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation.
" That's very good.
We'd like to hear it later, though.
Affirmative, Professor Robinson.
Well, you must be hungry.
Would you like me to fix you a little something to eat? Thank you.
Not right now.
Perhaps later I could use a little oil.
- Oil? - Dad, what are we gonna do with him? - We can't leave him like this.
- I don't know, Son.
- Uh, maybe he'll snap out of it in a couple of days.
- I hope not.
I like him just the way he is.
Dr.
Smith, I've got an awful lot of work to do.
How would you like to help me? I would be more than pleased to help you, Major.
I don't know how long this is gonna last, but I'm gonna make the most of it.
Oh, now, Don, I don't think that's very fair of you to take advantage of the poor man and make him work when he can't help himself.
Believe me, Maureen.
It won't hurt him a bit.
And just think of the pleasure I'll get.
- Shall we begin our labors, Major? - You bet.
Let's go.
[ Sighs ] Well, Don may be enjoying this situation, but I think it's terrible.
- So do I.
- If Dr.
Smith's talking like the Robot I wonder what the Robot's acting like.
- Probably like Dr.
Smith.
- The little purple robot said they were only going to character-transfer the bad qualities.
If that's true, Son, then our old mechanical man is now a very formidable foe.
Dr.
Smith, that's much too heavy for you to carry by yourself.
Negative, William Robinson.
I possess the strength of 10.
- Maybe so, but you've gotta slow down.
- I am never tired.
Now you must excuse me.
There are other rocks to be moved.
- The area must be cleared.
- Can't you at least stop to talk to me for a while? - You're always so busy now.
- A woman works from sun to sun.
Dr.
Smith's labors are never done.
Don may like you this way, but I like the old Dr.
Smith much better.
Nothing has changed between us, William Robinson.
I am still the same Dr.
Smith you know and love so well.
Warning! Warning! Alien approaching! [ Dr.
Smith's Voice ] Ah, William, my dear young friend, how are you? - I'm fine, Dr.
Smith.
- Correction: I am Dr.
Smith.
Yeah.
For a moment, I got mixed up.
I thought I'd drop in and see how my friends are getting along.
You are not concerned for our well-being.
I have computed your motives.
They are untrustworthy.
- Silence, you ninny! - How do you like being the leader of the little robots? A truly delightful experience.
Ah, William, the joy of absolute power.
My every wish is a royal command.
- I guess you're having a good time.
- Indeed I am.
But all is not fun and games, my boy.
After all I have the future of my subjects to consider.
You are not welcome here.
Go back to your own kind.
Silence, you mental midget! My visit is not merely a social call.
- It isn't? - I wish to speak to your father.
Oh.
Well, he's fixing a new weather station.
I'll take you to him.
Lead on, my young friend.
Lead on.
There is something unpleasant about the Robot.
I know what it is.
It is his voice.
It grates on my sensors.
- Look who's here.
- Our Robot.
You are mistaken, Professor Robinson.
I am the Leader.
In the future, would you be so good as to refer to me by my correct title? - [ Chuckles ] Listen to the big shot.
- Have a care, Major West.
- I am easily offended.
- Don't get me riled up, or I'll take your power pack away.
Your jests do not amuse.
Were you to act so foolishly I would be forced to take preventive measures.
Oh, well, I'm just shakin' in my boots.
Now, just what would you do? Oh, well, I'm just shakin' in my boots.
Now, just what would you do? [ Electrical Arcing ] I presume we understand each other now, Major? Now, take it easy, Don.
No, no.
He means business.
Nice of you to drop in.
What can we do for you? As a matter of fact, there is.
You and your family can vacate these premises immediately.
- You must be kidding.
- As the leader of the mechanical men my words are not to be taken lightly.
- I have decided to appropriate your spaceship.
- Is that so? - Well, supposing we refuse to vacate the ship? - Come, now, Professor.
Let us not make rash statements.
You have no alternative.
- Take my word for it.
- That's what you think.
We can fight.
Against hundreds of my mechanical men? That would be very foolish.
- Tell me why you want the Jupiter 2.
- My subjects are going to repair it for flight, and I will use it to get back to the planet Industro.
- Isn't there any other means of transportation? - The spaceships of the mechanical men are too small to carry their leader.
You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
You were our friend.
My dear boy, I have the highest regard for all of you.
As a matter of fact, I've been instrumental in saving your lives.
My subjects wish to attack and take the spaceship without warning.
- And you stopped them? - Only with great difficulty.
Now, we couldn't live without that spaceship for two weeks, and you know it.
- Yeah.
Thanks a lot for nothin'.
- You gentlemen must be optimistic.
While there is life, there is hope, you know.
Well, do I get what I want, or shall we take it? - Not until I talk this over with the rest of the family.
- By all means, Professor.
I expect you to act in a democratic way.
That's something you wouldn't know anything about.
I would not argue politics with you, Professor Robinson.
Very well.
I shall await your decision.
Shall we say by 6:00? A pleasure seeing all of you again.
Give my best to Mrs.
Robinson, Judy and Penny.
We've just been given an ultimatum.
The Robot may sound like Dr.
Smith, but he's not a bit like him.
- I agree with you, Son.
- If we only had that force field working right, we could-- Yeah.
While you're at it, why don't you go all the way? - You know, this never happened.
It's just a bad dream.
- What are we gonna do, Dad? [ Sighs ] I don't think we have any choice.
We're gonna have to give up the spaceship.
Now, it won't be so bad.
We'll move all the food and all the equipment we can right out of here.
We can live in tents, and our auxiliary heating units will keep us warm.
- And the hydroponic garden will supply us with food.
- That's right.
You know, I never would've believed our own Robot would turn against us.
He's not really our Robot now, Penny.
I don't know what he is.
Probably just a combination of all the base instincts hidden in Smith's subconscious mind.
- Yes.
- Well, there's no point bewailing our fate.
- Let's get packing! - [ All Murmuring In Agreement ] We've gotta do something, Dr.
Smith.
I would be more than pleased to help you, Will Robinson.
- Have you any ideas? - Not a one.
If you like, I will go to the camp of the little robots.
- There's nothing you could do.
- My family is in danger.
I must protect them.
Dr.
Smith, you're really not the Robot.
You'll get hurt.
You underestimate me, William Robinson.
They are little robots.
I am bigger and stronger than they are.
Listen to me.
You're not a mechanical man.
You're a human being.
I will go to the alien camp.
I will destroy our enemies.
You don't know what you're doing.
You mustn't do this.
Zachary Smith is afraid of nothing.
He will solve our problems.
Dr.
Smith, there's really nothing you can do.
Ours is not to reason why.
Ours is but to try, try, try.
But you'll get yourself killed for nothing.
We'll still have to give up the spaceship.
Perhaps I shall go down to defeat, but with dignity, courage and honor.
[ Mechanical Men Cheering ] [ Will ] There must be something going on at the little robots' camp.
My sensors tell me a meeting is in progress.
Let's watch.
[ Cheering Continues ] [ Mini Robot ] Silence! Our great and all-powerful leader will speak to us.
[ Cheering Continues ] Friends, robots, mechanical men of Industro lend me your sensors.
For 10,000 years, you have waited hopefully for a leader to lead you to power and glory.
The time has arrived.
Your leader stands before you.
- I wonder what that's all about.
- I do not know, Will Robinson but I have a plan.
- What is it? - I will go out into the meeting and issue a challenge.
I will fight each little robot in turn until I have defeated them all.
You'd just get yourself killed.
Stay here.
That's an order.
You never let me have any fun, Will Robinson.
Please keep quiet.
I wanna hear what they're saying.
I have lulled the Robinsons into a false sense of security.
- Now we shall attack them without warning.
- [ Mechanical Men Cheering ] Fellow robots, this is only the beginning.
A minor battle in preparation for the great victories which will follow.
We will sweep over the galaxy.
Nothing shall resist us.
The mere mention of the mechanical men will strike terror into the hearts of all.
On to victory! Conquer and take! Fellow robots, on to the Robinsons! Destroy! Destroy! [ Mechanical Men Cheering ] We've gotta get back to the Jupiter and warn them.
- I prefer to stay here and fight it out now.
- We need you at the Jupiter 2.
Now, if you really wanna fight so bad, you'll have your chance then.
Now, come on.
Our campsite is in the opposite direction, Will Robinson.
We can't go that way.
We'll have to circle around.
- Dr.
Smith, we're trapped.
- Stand aside, Will Robinson.
I shall fight our way to freedom.
And you will be destroyed for your efforts.
Do not act irrationally, Dr.
Smith.
- You are a most contemptible creature.
- Sticks and stones cannot break my bones, and your words can never harm me.
- What are you doing here? - Nothing.
Nothing at all.
- We were just taking a little walk, and here we are.
- You were spying on me.
Be careful how you speak to my friend, you bully.
Get out of my way, you sniveling Earth man.
- Now I shall be forced to destroy.
- Dr.
Smith, please.
You acted very wisely, young man.
It is forbidden to touch the ruler of the mechanical men.
Well, I'm sure it is, sir, so if you'll just excuse us, we'll be on our way.
- Let's go, Dr.
Smith.
- Just a moment.
Perhaps it would be best if you remained with me.
- We'd like to, but we really have to get going.
- You will stay! Do you think I'm such a fool as to let you leave after what you have overheard? Warning! Warning! I will attack! Make your escape, Will Robinson.
You must warn your family.
Stop the Earth boy! Men of Industro to the camp of the Earthlings! Follow me.
- Dr.
Smith.
Boy, I thought it might have been-- - It was cowardly to run away.
- I prefer to stand and fight.
- I'm sure you'll have your chance but right now, we've gotta warn the family.
Too late, Will Robinson.
Our enemies are upon us.
- [ Will ] We can't let them catch us! - I have an idea.
- Quickly hide yourself.
- What are you going to do? There is no time to explain.
Do as I have said.
Spare me, O great and mighty leader.
- What did you say? - All hail to thee, O great one.
I have seen the error of my ways, and I wish to join you.
- Is this some kind of a trick? - No, great leader of the mechanical men.
I can be of tremendous help.
[ Dr.
Smith's Voice ] You are only a worthless Earthling.
How can you help me? In many ways, O mighty one.
You will need to know how to fly the Robinson spaceship.
- I can do that for you.
- You might be of assistance to me, at that.
- Stand up.
- I shall serve you gratefully, O great master.
It might prove to be very amusing to have you as my servant.
You will need to have your metal polished and someone to oil you occasionally.
I am expert at these tasks.
How do I know you can be trusted? You're not one of my own kind.
The Earth people are doomed.
Your power is too great for them.
I wish to serve on the winning side.
[ Dr.
Smith's Voice ] And for this you would betray your friends? Gladly.
They are weak, and you are strong.
They are stupid, and you have great intelligence.
- My choice is easy and clear.
- Very well.
I shall allow you to serve me.
Thank you, Master.
Cease your vulgar display of affection.
- It is a sign of weakness.
- Yes, Master.
We are on our way to destroy the Robinsons.
Your help will not be needed.
Return to my camp and wait for me.
- I hear and will obey, O great leader.
- Stand aside.
Gee, Dr.
Smith.
You were wonderful.
I am ashamed to bow and scrape before my enemies.
But you saved us.
That's the important thing.
Now we can warn the family.
I shall never forget the taste of his clammy claw on my lips.
Never mind that now.
We've gotta get to the campsite.
To kiss his claw was a terrible experience.
Ugh.
John, I've made a complete list of all the food left in the electronic freezer and we can move the rest of the things out to the campsite in the morning.
- Well, we're gonna have to give up the protein synthesizer.
- Oh? - We can't get it out of the housing.
- Ohh.
I have it working on full power now.
At least we'll have some protein units before we leave.
- Good girl, Judy.
- That's fine.
I've pulled all auxiliary lighting elements.
What happens when all our batteries are dead? [ Sighs ] I'm afraid we'll have to make do with torches.
You know, there's a manual battery recharger in the engine room.
At least it would give us enough battery power to keep a radio signal out.
- I'll get it.
- Good idea.
- Darling? - Yeah? - Will was outside here before.
Did you send him off somewhere? - No.
Oh, he's reconciled to the loss of the Robot.
- He'd have no reason to leave the area.
- [ Chuckles ] Well, I guess I'm just so used to worrying about him whenever he's off with old Dr.
Smith.
Well, he's not with Dr.
Smith.
Dad! Dad! - What is it? - The little robots are attacking! - They're attacking? - Our Robot and the mechanical men are on their way here.
They intend to destroy all of us and take over the spaceship.
- We should've expected this.
- Fortunately, we were warned in time.
At least we'll have a chance.
Maureen, you and the girls get inside the ship.
- The rest of us will stand them off out here.
- I'll get more weapons.
- Good.
- John, I handle a laser pistol pretty well, you know.
- Don't you think I oughta stay out here with you? - Next time I need a volunteer for a dangerous assignment, you've got the job, I promise.
- I think you're gonna need all the help you can get.
- Inside the ship.
- That's an order.
- Yes, sir.
You and Dr.
Smith take a position behind that rock, protect our right flank.
Will Robinson and I will fight to the death.
- They shall not pass.
- Now that Dr.
Smith has some characteristics of the Robot he has the courage of a lion.
- Before this fight is over, he'll need it.
- Warning! Warning! Hostile robots approaching.
All right.
Take your positions.
Mechanical men of Industro, destroy the Earthlings.
Mechanical men of Industro, destroy the Earthlings.
Attack! Attack! Attack! - Stop! Come back and fight, you cowards.
- [ John ] Smith! - Dr.
Smith challenges you.
- Get back behind the rock! Half a league, half a league, half a league onward into the Valley of Death rode the brave 500.
Will, make that idiot take cover! Professor Robinson, a brief truce to discuss the situation.
This is no deception; I give you my word on it.
John, I think it's some kind of a trick.
All right, but come out alone.
Agreed, Professor Robinson.
Everybody stay where you are, but keep your eyes open.
- I'll cover you.
- [ John ] Okay.
All right.
Whatever you have to say, make it brief.
My dear professor, why do you greet me with such hostility? I am your friend.
Never mind the flattery.
Get to the point.
Believe me, this attack was not my doing.
I tried to stop my subjects, but to no avail.
You're supposed to be their leader, aren't you? There's still time to talk to them.
It is too late, but there is a way out of this dilemma.
We will permit you and the rest of your family to leave unharmed.
Well, that's very generous of you.
Listen, Robot.
You've got five seconds to get out of here.
I'm under a flag of truce, Professor.
Don, they're moving up on us! Get ready for an attack! Traitor, betrayer of the innocent, I will destroy.
Mechanical men, attack.
- Stop! Come back, you coward.
- Destroy them! [ Electrical Arcing ] Without their fearless leader, they're not too eager to fight, are they? - What's wrong with Dr.
Smith? - He went down when the Robot was deactivated.
- Dr.
Smith! - [ Dr.
Smith's Voice ] What? What? What? Oh! Oh, William, help me up.
You know, my back is extremely delicate.
Uh, what happened? Where am I? Who turned out the lights? He's back to normal.
We've got our old Dr.
Smith back.
The shock of the laser must have retransferred their characters.
Good heavens! What are we doing out here? The little robots could attack at any moment now! Take it easy, Smith.
Take it easy.
The fighting's over now.
That is your opinion.
I'm going inside the spaceship.
Now, there's no danger.
The little robots won't bother us again.
No one is ever safe on this hostile planet.
No! [ Laughs ] Looks like old Smith's back to normal, huh? - Boy, am I glad.
- You know something, Son? So am I.
Now, I wouldn't tell him this, but I wouldn't have him any other way than his old, mean, cunning, conniving self.
Well, neither would I.
Right now, let's see what we can do about getting this robot back to normal, huh? - Yeah.
- Hey there.
- [ Thunderclap ] - How much more do we have to do? This does it.
Let's get Will and Smith and hightail it back to the ship.
I don't like the idea of being out during an electric storm.
[ Thunderclap ] Warning! A low-pressure area with accompanying electrical disturbances is approaching.
- Warning! - Do be still, you hardheaded harbinger of evil.
- Can't you see we're busy? - [ Will ] Dr.
Smith, we'd better get under cover.
- Those storms are getting pretty violent.
- [ Dr.
Smith ] Never fear.
- Smith is here.
There is no cause for alarm.
- [ Thunderclap ] [ Thunderclaps ] - [ Electric Warbling ] - [ Dr.
Smith Gasps ] Perhaps you're right, William.
The heavens seem to have selected me as their target.
- Where can we find shelter from the storm? - There's a cave not too far.
But I loathe caves! They're filled with crawly things! [ Thunderclap ] However, under the circumstances, William, perhaps you'd better lead on.
Lead on.
[ Thunderclap ] Come on, Dr.
Smith! Certainly not.
Such a crevice can only be the lurking place of malicious aliens or at the very least, dreadful crawly things.
All right.
Stay out here and get hit by lightning.
I'm taking cover.
No, William! Don't leave me here alone! Wait for me! [ Thunderclap ] - Do you see anything? - It looks like it gets bigger inside but the Robot can't fit through this opening.
Then he can stand out here on guard.
A little storm won't hurt him.
That is all right, Will Robinson.
I do not mind weather.
Better get Dr.
Smith inside before he melts.
- Bah! - [ Thunderclap ] - Go ahead, Dr.
Smith.
- After you, dear boy.
I shall fight a rear-guard action against the elements.
- There's nothing to be afraid of.
Now, come on.
- [ Thunderclap ] You see? Nothing to worry about.
It gives me claustrophobia.
I have never been able to endure confinement - in small places.
- [ Thunderclap ] [ Yelling ]