Love Me (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1 (RUSTLING) (BIRDS CAW) (BRIGHT MUSIC) Aaron Mathieson.
[MICHAEL.]
You would've had a good chance of getting the clerkship, Aaron.
Unfortunately there is one major problem.
It's kind of a big one.
Okay.
You're wearing my outfit.
Oh.
I am so sorry about that.
(MICHAEL LAUGHS) The look on your face! What? [MICHAEL.]
I'm just kidding.
(MICHAEL LAUGHS) Next time, try not to look so suave.
Yeah.
[MICHAEL.]
Oh! Bit of a dip in the H1s last semester.
Otherwise, pretty consistent.
Been partying a little too hard, huh? Final year.
Cutting loose? Well, I Sorry, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, you could say that.
Right.
Well, that's all over now.
Of course, yeah.
Although some of us do like to go out for Friday night drinks.
Always a fun night.
Oh, okay.
So tell me which other firms have you been interviewing with? Heya.
[GLEN.]
Hi, darling.
How's it going? [GLEN.]
Yeah, good, good, good.
The cards are all canceled.
Is there something else that I need to do? [GLEN.]
Oh, well, your mom's ashes are ready to be collected.
Oh Dad, that can wait.
It's a crematorium.
It's not the post office.
It's not like they can send them back.
[GLEN.]
Well, okay darling.
I know you're busy.
I'll collect them when I get back.
Oh, no, it's okay.
Sorry, I'll get it.
I'll do it.
[GLEN.]
Really? Are you sure? No, I'm sure, it's fine.
[GLEN.]
Oh, okay.
Look, I really appreciate it- Sorry, Dad, I gotta go.
[GLEN.]
Oh, okay, yes.
Well, you take care of yourself.
I'll see you in a few days.
Okay.
[GLEN.]
Take care.
Okay, bye [GLEN.]
Yeah, bye now.
Bye.
Hi.
(CLARA EXHALES) What? Nothing.
Just, just this, I guess.
It's too fast, isn't it? No.
No, it's totally normal to be moving in after two weeks.
Look, if this is too weird, - I can go and stay with Hazem- - No! Sorry, no.
No.
Good.
'Cause I wouldn't enjoy sleeping with Hazem as much.
Hey, I wanted to- So, are you gonna leave that there? No, no, that's a perfect spot for it, right? Well, it's right, it's right in the middle of the room.
I'm just thinking to Okay.
So Where do you want it? What about here? No, no, no.
Maybe just put it over there to balance the [PETER.]
Over here? Yeah.
That's fine.
Are you sure this is okay? Yeah.
Yeah? Yes.
Okay.
Good.
Well, you stay right here.
I'm gonna grab more of my stuff and ruin your Feng Shui.
I don't believe in Feng Shui.
But this is wrong.
(GENTLE MUSIC) [GLEN.]
Ooh.
[ANITA.]
Just one more.
Okay.
Oh, stop, stop, stop.
Been a while.
Huh? Christine used to always be very conscious of salt and sugar, so, you know, we watched our diets.
A little bit doesn't hurt.
I mean, how else do you get the flavor? Oh, except with fat.
Oh! Oh, gosh, you know, when Joe, my husband, was sick, he went on this extreme diet.
Oh, it was awful.
Had to serve him up these tasteless meals.
I mean, if you take away all the guilty pleasures, what are you left with? I mean, that is no way to die.
No.
Sir, we have a table for you and your Wife.
Thank you, Vikash.
Sorry, seems easier for the poor man if we- Sure.
You good? Yeah.
Okay.
There's great vibes from the staff, and they've got a little bit of a pro bono work, and you can order in on the firm's account, 24/7.
24/7.
That's to keep you at your desk.
No, it's just, you know, if you're a little extra busy or instead of a cafeteria, you know.
Why, what, what's up? I've got good news as well.
Really? Yeah.
You remember the, you remember the support act gig that I went for? No! I got it.
Oh my God.
I know.
How good is it? Wow.
It is so much bigger than I thought it was gonna be as well.
It's the whole east coast.
Amazing.
Yeah, that's, wow.
What? Why are you being weird? I mean, there's a lot of festivals this year.
Yeah.
I mean, do you have to go away again? Yeah, that's what I do.
But you can come with me.
Yeah, but what about my clerkship? I mean, it'll be fun.
We can take Lux's Kombi.
I'll gig at nighttime, and then in the day we can hike and we can swim.
Fuck.
It'll be so cute.
Wait, hold on, this isn't a paid gig? No, but, I mean, it's huge for my career.
Not even flights or accommodation? No, but you don't turn down big tours like this.
It's the same with my clerkship.
Okay, fine, well then don't come.
Ella, I don't wanna do long distance.
Well then what? I don't know.
Don't take a job that isn't paying.
Your job's barely paying.
Yeah, but it's something! Okay, well this is my work, so I'm gonna go.
You can either come with me, or you can sit in your bougie little office ordering in.
Whatever.
(GENTLE MUSIC) Law? So, what area? Probate.
Ah, so no "Perry Mason" or "The Good Wife" kind of action? No more, more "Rumpole of the Bailey.
" No, not even that, not even that.
Definitely not the glamorous side of the law.
Much more the other, other end of the spectrum.
But there was something very satisfying about helping people sort out their wills.
No, it's interesting.
I mean, constantly dealing with mortality.
I mean, I imagine that must have an impact.
Oh, I don't know.
I wish it did.
You know, so many retirement travel plans that we just never, you know.
There's always such a focus on work in our household.
Not sure that was the best thing to pass on to the kids, but, you know, they're both very driven.
Well, Clara more than Aaron.
Are you close to them? The kids? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, they're grown up now really.
You never stop worrying about them.
Did you ever Sorry, it's probably, probably not polite to ask.
No, it's fine.
Not really.
I, you know, I met Joe when I was in my late 40s, and, you know, I got friends and family and art and well, this.
And that's always been enough for me.
Oh and my work too if I'm honest.
So, it's probably good I didn't have kids or I would've passed on all the wrong things.
I don't think it's work so much.
You know, I just I just wonder if we didn't, you know, we taught them, you know.
I just worry that they're not very happy.
(CLARA MOANS) You hungry? I don't know.
We're going straight to the big philosophical question, are we? What? What did you say? Are you hungry? What? What did you think I said? Happy.
Well, are you happy? Are you hungry? I'm a model.
Yes, I'm always hungry.
(CLARA LAUGHS) But I'm very happy.
Hey I don't even know your last name.
I mean, I know it starts with a K, but is that it? Like that celebrity? No, no.
It's my modeling name.
I picked it when I was like 17 and it stuck regrettably.
But, you know, it's more like a brand thing.
- Oh, so you're a brand? - So, the K doesn't actually stand for anything.
Peter K's a brand.
Peter K is a brand.
Probably heard of it.
What's, so what's your last name? Oh, it's kind of embarrassing.
Oh my God, now I have to know.
Do you? Don't I? Do you? Okay.
Fine.
Cockburn.
Yes, that's right.
Cockburn.
Peter Cockburn.
I'm sorry? Oh (LAUGHS) It's not that bad! So your ancestors are cocks? (CLARA LAUGHS) Very funny.
On my dad's side a little bit.
But no, it's just like an old English derivation of the word cocca, meaning rooster.
I can't.
- This is- - What? No, this is why women need to just keep their names.
Well, I mean, I would be happy to take your name.
Peter Mathieson.
Model.
(GENTLE MUSIC) [SACHA.]
She'll be up 'til 10.
Isn't that past your bedtime? Oh, "Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site.
" Three times.
Did you give us that book? No.
Peter? - Is it true- - No more, Vicky.
Just one.
That male underwear models put a slice of bread down their front to, you know, smooth out their bits? [SACHA.]
Really? Like a, like a Ken doll? I mean, I've heard of guys using cock rings to like engorge their penis.
That makes sense.
So, do you like have fans - coming up to you? - You said one more.
Oh God, no.
No one knows who male models are.
I mean, that's true, isn't it? I mean, I can't think of a single male one.
Okay, she's brutal and gay, so you shouldn't listen to her.
Sorry.
No, no, it's true.
I mean, I couldn't do it if I was a woman.
I mean, just you couldn't walk down the street.
[AISH.]
Mom! What? [AISH.]
My sock is sad! - Sock's aren't alive.
- Sock's asleep! - So should you be! - Go to sleep please.
Quick, new topic while she's eating.
Oh Oh, we have news! Pregnant.
No! Jesus, Sacha.
No.
No, Peter's moved in.
Oh, wow! That's a big deal.
Oh, not- I guess you won't be dropping 'round so often.
Kidding! Peter, you're welcome here anytime.
[PETER.]
Thank you.
I have more questions.
No, no, it's just temporary while his ceiling gets fixed.
Or sooner.
I'm mindful of parameters.
Or until she realizes that I am punching above my weight.
[AISH.]
Mom! Hey, what are you doing outta bed, Aish.
What's up? Hey, do you wanna play a game? It's called "be like cement.
" Have you played it before? No? Well, it's pretty fun.
Okay, so first we lay the cement, so we lie down, and then we let it set, and then we stay still.
So, whoever can stay the stillest the longest wins the game.
I love this game.
I play it with my patients at work.
Yeah.
It's a good fun.
Do you wanna play? Hey, what about playing it in bed? Yeah! Let's go play it in bed.
Oh my God.
Be like cement.
Be like cement.
Amazing.
Yeah, honestly, I had no idea that that would work.
[VICKY.]
It's genius.
Let's abandon all our dreams ♪ Sleep inside our sorrow ♪ Or sit here waiting for our dreams ♪ To come true ♪ Maybe you know what I mean ♪ Maybe come tomorrow ♪ Things won't be the way they've been ♪ Or seem to be ♪ You don't have to stay too long ♪ You can go away ♪ But I'd feel better off if you'd stay ♪ We're not as far apart as I have heard her say ♪ That's just the way things are ♪ Oh, goodness.
I was about to say the same thing.
Hold that thought.
I'm just gonna go powder my nose.
(WATER RUNS) (SOMBER MUSIC) Did you really think you could move on that easily? 40 years, Glen.
What are you doing? Oh.
We can undress things slowly ♪ The trace of your fingers creeping down my neck ♪ Maybe you've guessed ♪ You're where I want to be ♪ Glen, are you okay? I got us some Sex on the Beach.
I'm so sorry, (GENTLE MUSIC) Glen? Are you okay? I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have left you there.
No, no.
I was It's fine, it's fine.
I haven't felt like that for I don't know.
That was You're an extraordinary woman, Anita.
And But I, I don't, I'm not, I don't think I, I can't.
It's I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's a very difficult time.
And I don't want to pressure you.
No, it's Maybe Maybe we should just be friends.
Oh.
Well, I, I'd certainly like that.
Here.
Thank you.
What, what is this? Oh, it's called Something with vodka, peach, and cranberry juice.
Yeah, and it's delicious.
And it's very good for the urinary tract.
Yeah, keep the seniors happy.
(GLEN AND ANITA LAUGH) (GENTLE MUSIC) Good work, Marie Curie.
What do you think? Should I go away with her? She's been constipated.
Oh, yuck.
I mean, you've just started the clerkship.
And? And you were lucky to get it.
Yeah, but so, I mean, you don't need clerkship to get a job, you know, and maybe there's more than study and work and picking up dog shit.
This is God's work.
Yeah, but it could be awesome, you know.
I could, I could really go.
I mean, why shouldn't I go? I could be driving up the coast.
You get carsick just driving to Geelong.
I could be stopping along the way.
I mean, I could be camping- I had to take you to the hospital for motion sickness.
Could be hiking, I mean, hanging at the beach.
You're not outdoorsy! I'd be fucking under the stars- Aaron, this isn't you! At all! You are a nerd.
You like Greek myths and poetry.
Why are you all of a sudden wanting to drop your entire future for some girl that you have nothing in common with, apart from the fact that you trigger each other's dopamine receptors? Can you stop with the science? Okay, not everything is science.
Literally everything is science.
You're so anti-monogamy.
I'm not! Jesse, you've never been in love, okay, so you don't actually know what you're talking about.
Seriously? I was aiming for the bin.
The bin? There is no bin.
I finally got them after my fourth try.
Four times? It took you four tests to get your Ps? It's not my fault.
You shouldn't be allowed to drive.
Every car has faulty speedometers.
If anything, it's the car's fault that I was speeding 'cause it was doing.
Yeah, sure, that's sound logic.
What's your embarrassing story? You know what? I'll show you.
Oh.
I present to you the cardipant.
You look ridiculous.
Oh, couture ridiculous.
No, this is definitely more embarrassing than my thing.
No! I'm not wholly responsible for this.
There was a whole team of people whereas you I'm sorry, no, that was 15 years ago.
When did you say yes to this? Willingly shoot this? Yes, mine's worse.
Okay, next.
Biggest regret.
Easy.
Year 12 formal dress.
Not as impractical as the cardipant, but definitely a bit too adventurous for the class of '01.
Yours? Okay.
Biggest regret.
I collapsed on a shoot.
I'd been working nonstop for 20 years, and I wasn't looking after myself.
Ended up in emergency.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
No, no, it's okay.
It had to happen.
But, you know, it forced me to slow down and reprioritize my life and spend some more time with my son.
I can't believe you'd just come out with it casually like you're talking about the weather.
What else haven't you told me? What do you mean? Are you married? No.
How old is your son? [PETER.]
He's 15.
Why did you lie to me? I mean, what kind of a person moves in with someone and doesn't tell them that they have a son.
What were you expecting, Peter? That we would just be here in my house and play happy family with your kid? Why is this here? Okay, I'm sorry.
I thought that that would be outta the way.
I knew it.
I knew this was too good to be true.
Cara, I am sorry.
I planned to tell you several times.
I'm trying to talk to you now.
Where are you going? I'm going to pick up my dead mother's ashes.
(SOMBER MUSIC) Hey, where are you? Get ready, I'm gonna pick you up now.
You okay? Yep.
I don't know.
No, I've only got two left.
What's wrong with you? Peter has a kid.
Right.
That he didn't tell me about.
Right.
That's it? No other reaction? Oh my God, Clara.
What did the police say? Tell me, please.
Mom was right.
You should never back the shiniest horse.
Always go for the tired, dependable horse.
Then you know what you're getting.
Are you even listening to me? Yeah, talking about horses.
No, it's a metaphor for the fact that I never choose the right men.
Yeah, but who cares if he has a kid? I don't care about the kid part.
I care about the lying part.
(GENTLE MUSIC) Yeah, this is it.
Charming name.
It's 8:58 for fuck's sake.
We've come to pick up our mother's ashes.
Of course.
Sorry for your loss.
Okay, thanks, yeah.
Her name's Christine Mathieson.
I don't know why I have to be here.
Well, she's your mom too.
Did you make an appointment? Did we need to? An appointment to pick up our dead mother's ashes.
It's standard procedure.
In the email- Well, is there any way that we can just pick her up now? Not sure.
My dad's out- So, in the email it said that everything's ready.
So, would her ashes be here or not? Yes.
All cremains remain on the premises, but notice to collect is usually required.
I'm sorry, did you just say cremains? Yes.
Cremated remains.
Cremains.
Jesus Christ.
Can you please just go and find them? I'll see what I can do.
Why couldn't Dad have done this himself instead of taking a fucking holiday.
Would you chill so we can get this over with? You chill.
Okay, I think this is the one.
I'm sorry, did you just say you "think" this is our mother? Can you please fill out her release form? Yeah, I'll do that.
What if we don't know where we're spreading the ashes? Well, we don't really know if these are our mother's ashes, do we? Just list a ballpark place if you don't mind.
It's procedure.
Do you have a permit for that park? No.
'Cause you can't just spread ashes at a park.
Oh then, yes, we have a permit.
Okay then.
Absolutely.
Oh my God.
[VINCENT.]
Okay.
All done.
I'm not touching that, no.
Sorry about him.
Oh, it's heavy.
Thanks.
See you later.
Hope not.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming.
You can come with me to the airport tomorrow to pick up Dad if you want.
Brilliant.
Are you smoking again? That's so unhealthy, Clara.
Oh, please tell me more about health fads.
Ella wants me to go away with her to the coast.
In a Kombi van.
Seriously? Yeah.
Don't you think you two are a little bit too different? I mean, opposites attract, you know.
Right.
We're in love.
She's it, I reckon.
Oh come on.
How can you possibly know that? You're too young.
Mom and Dad were young.
Mom and Dad got married young and fought for 40 years.
- Hardly the best example.
- No, they didn't.
[CLARA.]
Yeah they did.
They were soulmates.
Oh.
Oh yeah, great.
Classy, Clara.
I'm sorry.
I'll put it out in Mom's cremains next time, will I? For fuck's sake.
What? What is wrong with you? It's a joke.
No, it isn't.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
I'm just, I'm not good at I'm grieving too, you know.
(GENTLE MUSIC) I think about her all the time.
Like every second of every day.
Come on.
I'll take you home.
Thanks.
What's that? Mom said, if you want shotgun, you gotta race her.
(GENTLE MUSIC) And here is your wife, sir.
I'm sorry, Vikash, I'm not his wife actually.
My apologies.
Sorry.
And I think maybe separate tables today.
Of course.
Sorry, popular time.
There you go.
Bon appetit.
In case you need a bit of flavor- Thank you, but I'm eating an apple danish.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, here's cheers.
Oh look, I shouldn't have kissed you last night.
No, you're right.
No, no, no- No.
You're right, it was too much.
And I know that I suggested friends, but I don't think I can do that.
I'm very attracted to you.
So, I don't think we can be friends.
And I'm very sorry.
(SOMBER MUSIC) Hey.
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC) In a photograph ♪ Found the one that got away ♪ Actually I will order a cocktail.
What can I get for you? Don't know its name, but it has vodka, cranberry, and peach in it.
Sex on the Beach.
Pardon? The cocktail.
Oh, that's what it's called? Yeah.
Kelly, could we have a Sex on the Beach for the gentleman please.
Hey little woman ♪ I wanna be there when you call ♪ Hey hey little woman ♪ I wanna be there when you call ♪ I want to go with you.
Wait, what? Whatever you want, okay? I mean, I love you.
Look.
What? Hey.
You okay? What's wrong? I slept with someone last night.
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC) Hi.
Oh, hi.
Oh, I've just had a massage.
I wanna get all the inclusions in before I leave.
Yeah, that's lovely.
Sorry.
Thanks.
I'm so, so sorry about last night.
Yeah, I'm sorry too.
[GLEN.]
No, you, you, don't have to be.
But I am.
Okay.
Okay.
I gotta take a little time ♪ A little time to think things over ♪ Better read between the lines ♪ In case I need it when I'm older ♪ In my life ♪ There's been heartache and pain ♪ I don't know if I can face it again ♪ I can't stop now ♪ I've traveled so far ♪ To taste this lonely life ♪ I wanna know what love is ♪ I want you to show me ♪ I wanna feel what love is ♪ I know you can show me ♪ (ANITA MOANS) You are absolutely glorious.
So are you.
(GLEN AND ANITA LAUGH) (GENTLE MUSIC) Are you even sure he's on this flight? He printed out the itinerary for me, Aaron.
Chill.
You chill.
Did you call him much? No, he called me a couple of times.
You? There he is.
Is that Dad? Oh my kids are here.
What? My kids are here.
Did you know they were coming? No, no.
They've obviously come to pick me up.
But don't you run away ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC)