Mad (2010) s02e03 Episode Script

So You Think You Can Train Your Dragon To Dance; Yo Gagga Gagga

We interrupt this program with some breaking news.
Astrologers discover a missing horoscope! The sign Opukus.
I think it's pretty clear why it went missing.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
Today my boy becomes a Viking by killing a dragon! No, wait! We don't have to kill them.
What are you talking about? I know because I actually trained one To dance! Welcome to "So You Think You Can Train Your Dragon How to Dance" with this week's new contestants Hiccup Haddock and Toothless.
Let's see how they're settling in.
It was a little daunting at first.
Because he's a dragon? Because he has no rhythm.
No, no, no.
You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out.
It says nothing about a tail.
Plus the competition is fierce this year.
You've got Jake Smelly and his breakdancing banshee from "Avatar.
" It's all about being connected to your partner.
Ohh! I don't feel so g Oh, no! I can't watch people vomit! Aah! And then of course there's Donkey and Dragon, who have the most flair.
I'm a fine-looking dragon.
You better be dragging your but to the gym.
I don't think I can hold you much longer.
But I think we've got a really good chance.
Well, we've got a chance.
All right.
Before we begin, let's meet tonight's celebrity judges.
Hagar the Horrible! Look me up.
I'm an old reference, but I'm there.
Mary Angus Murphy! Let's see some hot tamales! Justin of Timber-Lake! Hey.
And Thor! Uh, can I have your autograph for my sister? Sure.
What's her name.
UhThor.
Now let's bring out our first contestant.
Ooh, ooh, ooh! Sound the alarm! Whoo-hoo! Uh, I don't like your dance moves.
He's not a contestant.
He's a neighbor! What's wrong? There's a giant monster dragon.
He's headed this way, but luckily I heard you guys trained your dragons.
Yeah, but we trained them how to dance! That went over better the first time.
Whoo-hoo! No.
Mine was a good scream.
I was trying to be supportive.
Maybe we could defeat them if we joined forces.
Let's do it.
Why am I so angry? Well, if you must know, I was a contestant last season and only came in third.
- Aah! - I mean, really.
Clearly there was a problem with my 800-number.
Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Dragon.
Can I get your autograph for my niece? Of course.
Here name's Thor.
Whoo-hoo! Mm-hmm.
This-a guy, he's just not-a getting it.
Shy Peter Parker was bitten by a spider, turning him into the amazing Spider-Man! Now you have the chance to be just as lucky with the itsy bitsy super spider.
Just one bite from our tiny spider Ow! And the results could be just as amazing! Actually, I feel kind of feverish.
Ohh! Sure Spidey's transformation may have been one of a kind, but who knows until you try? My hives are the color of Spider-Man! Have 8 arms like a spider, but now none of my clothes fit.
You could acquire any one of his amazing powers.
It's less of a power, more of a goiter really.
My throat is closing up.
Hard timebreathing.
The itsy bitsy super spider Because with great power comes great itching, swelling, vomiting, diarrhea, and responsibility.
Mad! Heh heh.
Uhh.
Ha ha ha! Now it's time for ask the celebrity.
Dear Selena Gomez, do you have magical powers like you do "Wizards of Waverly Place"? I have the power to make people do what I command.
You, drop that water! Do it, or you're fired! Now get on your hands and knees and lick it up! Magic! Keep licking! Dear Taylor Swift, where do you keep all of your awards? I keep them down here in my basement right next to all the people who didn't vote for me.
"I'm sorry I didn't vote for you, Taylor.
" Ha ha ha! Dear Jay-Z, what's been the greatest moment of your life so far? Well, there was this one concert Uh, I mean it was the day I married my beautiful and talented wife Beyonce.
It was the concert.
I can hear you! It really was that concert.
It's-a no use-a! I just-a can't get it! I just-a can't get it! Ohh! By George, I got it! - Mad! - Mad! This week on "The Man Who Forgot His Hand Is a Bomb" Hey, man! I totally aced that test.
High-five! No.
Wait! All right.
Right hand, green.
I got it! I got it.
Careful.
That coffee's hot.
I know, I almost burnt my lip Sir, you have yourself a deal.
Let's shake on it.
No.
Wait! I have a cold.
We should fist bump.
No.
Wait! "The Man Who Forgot His Hand Is a Bomb," now entering its fourth season.
"Mad" presents "This Day in History.
" On this day in 1837, president William Henry Harrison attends a picnic social when his wife of 40 years delivers the very first wet Willy.
They divorced soon after.
That was "this day in history.
" Wait for it, wait for it.
Whee! Look at him go! Hmm.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but can you guess the words we're making with these pictures? The answer is sports car.
Try another.
Give up? We were looking for hand ball, and finally You guessed it! The cotton gin! Come to think of it, we're not sure how this game works either.
Did you know that at least one weekend a month automobiles are being abused in demolition derbies.
Hi.
I am Optimus Prime.
Millions of cars are destroyed every year by people who, well, like to destroy cars.
Will you be an auto angel so that the senseless act of destroying cars in an awesome way in front of thousands of cheering fans can come to an end? Please donate to P.
E.
D.
A.
L.
, People for the Ethical Defense of Autobot Lives.
For less than the cost of a can of oil, can adopt a truck because an automobile is a terrible thing to waste, and don't even get me started on Truckzilla! Mad! And a banana for the gentleman.
Um, I ordered the sorbet.
Oh.
Uh, I'm sorry, sir.
I don't know how that Oh, you don't know how that happened? Walter, please.
Sir, I can assure you it was a mistake.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It was a mistake.
Right.
You know what? We'll take the check.
But, sir, I could The check! Sir! Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, aah, aah, aah! Here we go! Aah, aah, aah! Yo Gaga Gaga! Taylor! She was home-schooled T-Pain! He loves his auto-tune yes, I do-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo Miley! Her dad's a has-been Triple H! He'll beat your face in Yo Gaga Gaga! Yo Gaga Gaga! Yo Gaga Gaga! Lady Gaga here.
Ready for the best day ever? Let's see what our friends are up to.
Good morning, everybody! Good morning, Gaga! Time to rise and shine and show the world your po-po-po-poker faces! And how do we start every day? By drinking 8 raw eggs and doing 4,000 squat thrusts? No, silly! We get dressed! But what do we wear? And don't say what I wore yesterday because I don't do that.
You can wear anything! Anything?! A clock, a pillow, or a cat? You can wear it! A bottle, some feathers, and a map? AnyThingYou want! How about rope? Can you wear that? Rope? Sure! Huh? Ohh, ohh, aah! Hey.
What are you guys doing? We ain't leaving the house looking like this, fool.
Let's go! Yo Gaga Gaga! Aah! Man, I love crazy monster movies.
Heh.
Yeah.
Crazy.