Mad Dogs (2010) s02e04 Episode Script

Season 2, Episode 4

I think that this, right now, is the start of a whole new life for all of us.
I've put the money in the back of the car.
They've come after us.
Who have? Whoever that money belongs to.
Get in the car! Who are you? I'm the man whose money you took.
If we don't give him three million, boom! Hector! We've got 16 hours to find 140,000 euros.
Get down! The money's rammed in there tight.
Three minutes! Jesus Christ! You cut that fine.
All the money is there, except, well, it is a hundred euros short.
A hundred euros short? We'll all have an ice cream, and then we can decide what we're gonna do about it.
Organic, see? Worth paying a little extra, don't you think? Any of you lot gardeners? No.
You, come over here.
Wash those toms and chop 'em up into little cubes for me, will you? You! Peel those potatoes and slice them as thin as you can, will you? Preparation and timing.
That's all cooking is really.
Oi, you! Warm that pan for me, will you?! I need to see that you can work together as a team.
That you understand preparation and that you understand timing.
Do you cook, Quinn? No? About time you learnt.
About time you all learnt how to cook.
Pass.
Whose idea was it to take my money? It must have been one of you.
Not eating, Baxter? Which one shot the copper, then? None of us did.
Someone did.
It was me.
I did.
I see.
Get the fucking Sparta guy.
I like it! You stick together.
That's gonna help you.
Alright, then, where's the fifth Beatle? Come on, tell me.
Which one of you's boning Yoko? He is.
He is.
He is.
Nice.
Can we just get this over with? I mean, enough of this omelette shit.
What do you want from us? Was he always like this? Whatever you're gonna do, do it! And if not, please just let us go home.
Now you raise an interesting question, Rick.
Rick.
You didn't do what I asked you to do.
We gave you the money back.
You didn't do what I asked! You messed up! Now let us be clear about this.
I'm the one who was hard done by, not you! So now you have to put right what you so royally screwed up! And if you do, I'll let you go.
OK.
What do you want us to do, then? A favour.
What if we say no? Do you really want me to answer that? How do we know that you're gonna let us go? Well, that's it.
You don't.
That's the beauty of me having the upper hand.
What if we take our chances? Try and get out of here, go to the police.
Tell 'em everything.
Possibly it could turn out alright.
You might find a cop that you could trust, or you might not.
That's your call, son.
But once you start telling them what happened, people who know me will get to hear about it, and then it's only a matter of time.
I'm not an idiot.
I'm hardly gonna let you all walk out of here.
No, one of you's going to stay.
And if any of you try any heroics, bing-bong.
So, who wants to keep me company? Who'll volunteer? Or do I have to choose? OK.
I'll do it.
I'll stay.
No, I don't wanna be stuck with you.
Quinn, you'll stay.
Where the fuck are we? When I was younger I used to walk that ridge around the back of Alvo's all the time.
Smoke a spliff, take a lady up there, show her the view.
The senoritas, they make the highs high, and the lows more frequent.
If you've got as much money as you say you do, why are you making us do this? Don't you dare tell me how to run my business! I don't come into your bedroom and tell you how to fuck your wife! You think this is a game?! "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"? Take my money, bye-bye, adios! Ta-ta for now! We're all going back to Blighty, mate! I didn't know it was your money.
It isn't just about money.
It's about status.
It's about consequence.
I see.
You're doing this to prove what? To everyone that you can still get it up? Is that it? I tell you what.
Go on then, stick a bullet in me.
Because, the truth is, I don't know that I give a shit.
You reckon that all this is just my Viagra? That I'm addressing my erectile dysfunction? Not a problem.
I'm not fucking Pele! Is that what you really think? Let me refer you to the answer I gave a moment ago.
I don't give a fuck, mate.
You're starting to irritate me now.
I should've plumped for that soppy blond twat.
Fuck it! Five seconds.
Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow your fucking face off? Well, that's just it.
I don't have one.
What the hell are we doing here? It doesn't matter, does it? If we wanna see Quinn again, we do it.
If we'd let me be the hostage, you know what I'd have wanted? For you lot to make a break for it.
I'd have been pissed off if you hadn't.
I'd have wanted you to pull this off and come back and get me.
What are you trying to say? D'you reckon Quinn would want us to do a runner? Or are you saying that so we think that's what Quinn'd want and we do a runner? Christ! Do you really think I'm that manipulative? Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just gone 3.
30.
Less than 12 hours till the drop.
We better pick up the pace here.
We're behind.
OK.
Two miles east, it says we're gonna find a small, stone cabana.
What the fuck's a small, stone cabana? I think we're know it when we see it.
Perversely, dead people are a major arse ache to me.
My business runs better when people are alive and terrified.
What would you do if I was to walk out of here now? I mean, you're hardly likely to plug me, not surrounded by all these happy campers.
No.
But your three mates wouldn't live to see the weekend.
How can our lives have changed so much in just a few days? It's just bad luck, boys, that's all it is.
You make your own luck.
No, you don't.
Well, I think you do.
Nah.
Life is all just luck.
But we're afraid to admit it cos we all wanna be in control, don't we? Luck of your genes, where you're born, when you're born.
If you're born healthy or not.
Everything that happens to us in one day, all of it, is dictated by luck.
So all this is just unlucky? Yeah.
Unless you wanna believe that we're being punished by some power greater than ourselves.
Well, look.
Isn't luck a power greater than ourselves? Yeah, you're right, mate.
How lucky is that? Hang up.
Wait.
We need to pick up Carmen.
It's left.
Left! We haven't got time, Bax! Well, we can't leave her! Jesus! I don't believe this.
I am not leaving her on her own, Rick.
If they pull this off, are you gonna let us go? Or have you got some other little assignment? Alright, what if they don't manage it, what then? Why did you whack Alvo? Is there anything in your life you value? A woman? A child? He was no threat to you.
A pet? It was a bit fucking cowardly, wasn't it? What about an ambition? You see, for all his flaws, underneath it, fundamentally, he was a good man.
Travel, maybe? Never hurt anyone.
Ever seen the pyramids? He left us his villa because he feared for his life.
His first thought was to his friends, what he could do for us.
Taj Mahal? Cos that was Alvo.
Grand Canyon? Maybe that's why I see no value in life.
I wouldn't bother with Vegas, personally.
Cos, um, cos Alvo's dead, and you're fucking not! Bax! Get a move on! I've been thinking about South America.
Alright.
When this is over, maybe Baxter! Oi! Fucking hurry up, will you, Bax?! Yeah.
Come on.
Gracias.
Guys, let's go.
OK, Carms.
Con cuidado.
Call as soon as it's done, OK? OK.
How are we doing for time? 3am.
We're on target.
Hey, move over, Bax.
Hey? I wanna sit next to you.
Why? I don't like my back facing the way I'm going.
It makes me feel dickie.
Come on, let's go.
Shit! Oh, shit! Fucking hell, Rick.
For fuck's sake! What do I do? Pick 'em up or leave 'em? Just sit there.
We've gotta move.
Jesus! It's Baxter, is it? Para aqui, para aqui.
Aqui.
Aqui.
Come on, let's go! Let's go! How long have we got? We've got 45 minutes.
Come on! Great! Hit the horn! Come on! Move it! Oi! Get out of my fucking way! Get out of the way! Jesus! We're never gonna get there like this.
Move it, mate! Fuck this! Woody, back up! Where are you going? I said go left.
Go left! Alright, come on, mate! Move it! If I was a betting man Well, I'm afraid that's your lot.
Right, what are we looking for? A caravan.
He said a caravan! Please! There! There! OK.
Fuck! No! Fuck! Where is he? Did you do it? Yeah.
Where is he? Hold up! Hey.
Are you alright, mate? Yeah? Yeah.
What took ya? Come on.
Open it.
Five million! Don't worry, I won't ask you to count it.
You said You said, if we did this we could go home.
So, is it alright if we go, then? Is this one of your batch? I'm tripping! Your faces.
Don't worry.
You just cooked me a hundred thousand moody tabs.
What? Fakes.
You'd get as big a hit out of that as you would out of a sherbet Dip Dab.
Hold up.
They gave us five million euros for 100,000 tabs of E.
I mean, that's 50 euros a tab.
That can't be right.
Well done.
You should be an accountant.
They thought they were buying high-grade, pure MDMA.
Behave with enough confidence, people will buy anything.
If this was just a trick with phoney gear, why the fuck did you have us schlepping up over hill and dale and doing all that cooking bollocks? Because I can.
Because you can, yeah? Woody, just leave it.
Stop whining.
It's much more interesting than your average holiday.
Alright, so what now? Well, you can go.
Obviously.
But I wouldn't hang around, cos it won't take them long to work out exactly what happened.
A freight ferry's leaving for the mainland.
They'll be loading in about an hour.
You'll find one of my trucks in bay 23, get in the back, you get a free ride.
Wake up in Barcelona.
You know where the port is? Yes, thanks.
No.
No? Go down that road, turn left, carry on straight till you hit the port.
Left, straight to the port.
Great.
Yeah.
Hey, is it alright if we take the van? Fuck off! I tell you what, though.
You can have that, though, if you like? The money.
Let me leave you with this thought.
Happiness doesn't come from getting something you don't have, it comes from recognising something you do have.
It's up here.
No, hang on a minute.
I've got to go back and get Carmen.
We ain't got time to go back into town.
We do.
I have to.
Phone her from the mainland.
Arrange to meet her.
No.
I've gotta go.
You've got to leave her.
Come on! I've gotta go and get her! We can't risk it! Come on! Bax, let's go.
Serious.
Come on.
Well, the saddest thing of all is not to lose someone.
The saddest thing of all is when you find someone and then lose them.
Hey, Quinn, what are you going to do when you get to Barcelona? I think I might cross the Atlantic.
Yeah.
Yeah, go by sea.
I've always fancied doing that.
We'll see you again though, won't we? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And once I get settled and everything, you know.
And obviously I wanna come back to see the kids and things.
What about you, Woody? Part of me reckons, I don't know, maybe I'll look for a new start.
And what about Amy? I don't think the same anymore.
I can't expect to be with her and not let her know what's happened.
Yeah, you can.
I can't, Rick.
I'm not like you.
I'm gonna hole up in Barcelona, get in touch with Carmen, and wait till she come across.
Do you think she'll come, Bax? Yeah.
Yeah, she'll come.
So is it just me going back to England, then? It looks like it.
I don't wanna go on my own.
I don't really wanna go back at all.
I mean, I wanna see my kids, but Hey.
Do you we're, um, we're, like, millionaires now? Fuckin' freaky guy, wasn't he? You wanna spend the night in a fucking caravan with him, mate! He'll get done, sooner or later.
How do you know that, then? Well, they always do, don't they? I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I made a call.
Customs & Excise.
A got his number, didn't I? So they can trace him.
There's one thing nobody can escape from.
Don't matter how big a master criminal you are.
The VAT man.
Wait.
Are you saying you've told the VAT man about him? Yeah.
It's like Al Capone, innit? They got him for tax in the end.
Don't worry, I didn't mention any names or anything.
You don't think they'll figure out who tipped them off, you idiot?! And come after us! Well, no, he can't, can he? Well, I didn't know he was gonna let us go, did I? Look, I thought we were all gonna die.
I mean, I was trying to save us.
Rick! I didn't know he was gonna give us five million euros.
I suppose this must be it, then.
Hello, gentlemen.
Well done on bringing us the money.
Welcome to Morocco.