Magnum, P.I. (1980) s08e09 Episode Script
The Great Hawaiian Adventure Company
This could be the turning point in our lives.
The Great Hawaiian Adventure Company! You don't know what it's like not to fit in.
Don't you talk to me about not understanding.
You think I don't know how it feels to be lonely and scared? Champagne? Uh, great.
Ah! Bryant's been arrested.
We have him in custody.
Go! Come on, come on! Go! Let's go! Put your hands where we can see them.
You have the right to remain silent.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you can't afford an attorney, the court will appoint one for you.
Do you have any questions? You were very lucky this time, son, believe me.
Three weeks of community service is a lot better than doing time, even at Juvie.
Just give this to the officer at the front desk.
They'll release your son to your custody.
Thanks.
Let's go.
I'm sorry, Dad.
It won't happen again.
It happens over and over.
He tells you, "Meet me here at 3:00," and he comes strolling in here at 4:00.
Well, I'm gonna tell you something, this is the last time I sit around here and wait for him.
Oh, I doubt if it's the last time.
We've been threatening him with "last times" for lots of years.
Well, there comes a time in every man's life when you have to make some changes.
Yeah, well, I'm giving him about five more minutes, and then I gotta go pick up Bryant.
Hey, how's he doing? What's it like to have your son with you after all these years? Have you seen Magnum? No.
We're waiting for him.
He's late.
He left an urgent message at the estate.
Said it was imperative that I meet him here.
That's the same message I got.
Well, imperative or not, I have to be at the post office before three.
They're holding a registered letter from my publisher.
The first set of notes on my memoirs.
Hey, I hope it's good news.
Yeah, so do I.
I've got plans, too.
Again? You seem to have left work early every day this week.
Yeah.
You've been looking pretty good, lately.
So? What's wrong with that? What's her name? Oh, come on.
Why is it that every time I have plans, you seem to think it has something to do with a woman? You have got to be kidding.
How long have I known you? Well, I'm just making some changes in my life, that's all.
I'm giving myself a little more time.
Who is she? You may as well tell him.
You're going to sooner or later anyway.
All right, guys, I'll tell you.
But you can't tell Thomas.
Tell me what? Thomas! What? You don't want them to tell me what? He doesn't want us to tell you that you're late.
Again.
And I've got to go.
This will only take a second, and you'd hate yourselves if you didn't hear my proposal.
Proposal? Yes.
For the Great Hawaiian Adventure Company.
One minute.
That's all I'm gonna give you.
That's all I need, T.
C.
And believe me, you will not regret this.
Gentlemen, this could be the turning point in our lives.
A venture that will not only give us all a little bit of financial security, but a new challenge in life.
A reason for getting up in the morning and starting the new day.
The Great Hawaiian Adventure Company! Or "Great Hawaiian Expeditions.
" You know, I'm not sure which one I really like better, but that's not important right now.
We'll figure out the details later.
At any rate, this company, founded by us, and run by us, and owned by us, will begin to return our financial as well as time investment almost immediately.
Wait! No, T.
C! Come on, you haven't heard my market research.
No.
I heard "investment.
" That's enough for me.
Well, not Well, all right, take this tape.
It explains all the details, your participation, and you're gonna thank me one day.
See you later.
I gotta go.
I already have my tape.
Rick Demographics.
Demographics are a largely misunderstood and underused tool in today's marketplace.
Yes, I see.
For instance, nearly come to Hawaii fully expecting the Higgins, you forgot your tape! Demographics.
Demographics are a largely misunderstood and underused tool in today's marketplace.
Demographics.
I know what you're thinking.
But this time, you're wrong.
I wasn't looking to get a job, or find a new life direction, or anything like that.
But great ideas only come along once or twice in a lifetime.
And this one was definitely worth pursuing.
"Adventures in Paradise"? No.
Ooh! That's too cute.
Hi.
Can I help you? I have an appointment with Sarah Amlin.
Thomas Magnum.
Thomas Magnum.
Okay, right this way.
What about the employee pension fund? Right, right.
What? Miss Amlin, it's your Yes, I'm here.
She'll be right with you.
Thank you.
Sorry.
No, that's not the percentage we talked about.
No.
Mmm-mmm.
Uh, just sit anywhere.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Doug.
No.
No, those figures, they just don't work for me.
Okay.
Call me back.
Yes, I'll be here.
Sounds like trouble.
Well, these things have a way of working themselves out.
It's been my experience that most big corporations have their own little intricate set of troubles.
It's not the airlines.
It's my divorce.
Oh! Well, there's nothing like a little work to help you forget your problems.
Yeah, I guess so.
So, you said on the phone you have a proposition for Paradise? Yes.
The Great Hawaiian The Great Hawaiian Adventure Company.
It's a specialized tour package.
We bring the people to Hawaii on your airline, at a discounted rate, of course and then, take them on their fantasy tour of paradise.
Freddy! What? I beg your pardon? My husband, Fred.
He had a different get-rich-quick scheme for every day of the week.
Oh, this isn't "The really great ideas only come along once or twice in a lifetime," he'd say.
Well, there's some truth to that.
Meanwhile, we threw money away on every impossible dream, one after the other, and I just I just finally got sick of supporting him.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
But this is not an impossible dream.
I have the manpower, the concept is solid, and I think the demographics and the market research Is something you'll find very interesting.
Your lawyer on line two.
Excuse me.
Hold one minute, Doug.
Look, Mr.
Magnum.
Thomas.
Thomas, I'm not sure what Paradise would get out of your proposition.
Well, I've outlined everything in detail in this report that I've drawn up.
Well the thing is, I'm very busy right now, and Yes, but if you'll just read the report.
You won't be sorry.
Well, if you wanna stop back by after the rest of the business world goes to dinner I'll be here.
Say, 7:00? On the nose.
Thank you.
Okay, Doug, I'm back.
No, the house is mine! We agreed to that.
I don't care what I signed! Can't you explain it away? Duress or something? Fraud? Well, how'd it go today? All right.
You got any good tapes? Yeah, maybe one or two.
You know, I was just thinking, maybe that job you got at the hospital, it might do a lot of good for you.
Hi, T.
C! Welcome to "Paradise Found!" What's this? Your job, should you Just some project that Magnum wanted to talk to me about.
You know, I think that's one of the reasons why you got in trouble at your mom's.
Too much time after school with nothing to do.
I made a mistake, okay? I'm paying for it, aren't I? That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is that you're staying with me now, things are gonna be done a little bit differently.
You know, I think that this community service thing that the judge gave you, well, maybe it ought to be something that you should pursue.
I guess.
The only thing is, I don't want to spend all my spare time over there.
I thought when I came here, we'd have some time together.
To do stuff.
You know, you and me.
Well, I mean, you know we're gonna do lots of that.
I didn't invite them here.
The point is, Higgins, no one on the island has a sense of history that can match yours.
Your sense of dramatic flair, your Well, you get my drift.
Anyway, we pick the tourists up at the airport, whisk them out to the estate for a brief historical perspective, courtesy of Jonathan Quayle Higgins.
This is absolute balderdash.
And then, after a tour of the grounds "The persona is too objective, lacks emotional involvement.
" Of course it lacks emotional involvement! That's precisely how I wrote it.
How could a British army officer function if he were forever getting emotionally involved? It's absurd.
What kind of cretins are they hiring as editors these days? Naturally, I'd like to be published.
Who wouldn't? But at the expense of destroying the material? We will be picked up by T.
C.
's helicopter for an aerial orientation.
Now, that gives you a chance to get everything back in order for the second group.
Now, I know at first, there probably won't be any more than one group a day.
However "Imagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
"It's freezing outside.
" Mr.
Magnum? In here! Hello.
Well, I was never any good at apologies, so I hope you'll accept this dinner as my way of saying, "I'm sorry for being such a jerk earlier today.
" Oh! Well, you weren't a jerk.
No, we had an appointment.
I let my personal life get in the way of business.
So now I'm letting business get in the way of my personal life.
I don't mean that having dinner with you would in any way interfere with my personal life.
Could we start over? Of course.
The report was very interesting.
You read it? Dinner will be ready in seven minutes.
Champagne? Uh, great.
Ah! Oh, my God! Are you all right? No, I'm fine.
I'm fine, really.
Maybe, uh, No, I'm just you'd like to come back tomorrow? I'm fine! Really.
No, I think it's better that I make my presentation tonight.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Right.
Good.
Okay.
So I'll just Yeah, yeah.
Just Go right ahead.
Imagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing outside.
The temperature is five degrees below zero with a wind chill factor of minus 20.
You are whisked away from the ice and snow via Paradise Airlines to the sun-kissed shores of the beautiful island of Oahu, the most famous of all the Hawaiian Islands.
What's that? That was a mistake.
I meant to turn on some music.
Hey, Cleo, can I help you with anything? Yeah, pour the champagne.
Okay.
You look beautiful.
Thanks.
I thought I heard Thomas's voice.
Yeah, you did.
It was on a tape.
Oh! You're working on a case together! That sounds very exciting.
No.
He's got some scheme he wants me to invest in.
That guy is so smart.
Did I ever tell you about the time he came to me for some information about this guy that's on the board of regents? Yes, Cleo.
Oh, God.
We stayed up all night staking this guy's house out.
I have never had so much fun in my whole life.
Yeah.
Thomas is a real card, that's for sure.
You know, you sure are lucky to have a guy like that for a best friend.
Yeah, right.
And you know something? He doesn't even seem to mind about what I do for a living.
You know, being a working girl and all.
Oops! Crepes are ready.
I'll be right back.
Cleo, did you and Thomas ever What? Well Did you and Thomas ever Forget it.
It's nothing.
I just want you to know how much I've enjoyed the last few weeks with you.
Oh, I have too.
Really? You're comfortable.
Like being around my brother.
Cleo.
Hmm.
What do you say we go dancing after dinner? You hate dancing! Yeah.
But hey, a guy can change.
Okay.
Hi, Rick, it's me.
So here's the part where you come in.
You'll pick the group up at the estate and fly them to a remote area of the Koolaus, where I will join them and take them on a three-day, two-night adventure in the backwoods.
Oh you will, will you? Well? What do you think? Good investment or wild scheme? I don't know.
Good, I guess.
You're not eating, man.
I'm not really that hungry.
Bryant, you did the right thing last week.
I mean, telling the police who really stole the motorcycle.
They think I'm a snitch.
Yeah, but we don't care what they think.
Look, I know how you feel.
I Can I be excused? Bryant, I'm talking to you.
There are gonna have to be some changes here.
I don't know what you're used to in L.
A.
, but you're here now, and you're gonna have to start learning discipline, responsibility, and common manners.
Go on, go to your room.
We'll talk about this later.
Don't bother thanking me, T.
C.
I'm happy to include my good friends in on an idea that can't miss.
I think you're right.
You do? Mmm-hmm.
It has good promotional possibilities for Paradise Airlines.
You get your discount tickets and we reach a whole new market.
What can I say? "Yes" would be good.
Well, unfortunately, I'm not the one who can say "yes.
" That's up to the board of directors.
Of course, I'll give them my enthusiastic recommendation.
This is turning out better than I thought.
I mean, you know I know what you mean.
Yeah.
The board is meeting tomorrow at 3:00.
I'll put you on the agenda on one condition.
What? Leave your easel at home.
That's a deal.
Once they make you the officer of a corporation, your life is never your own.
Sarah Amlin.
I told you not to call me again.
No.
I told you to talk to my lawyers.
Just a minute.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I really do think they're gonna go for it.
Great.
Bye.
Bye.
It's no good, Fred.
We've been over this a hundred times.
What can I say? Bryant.
Bryant, why do you kids have to play the radio so loud Thanks for the ride.
Hey, take it easy.
After three days and two nights in the wilderness, our tourist groups are going to really be ready for a little luxury.
We offer them a hot shower, and then we hit them with high tea and give them a chance to recount their adventures in the wilderness to you.
And who knows, Higgins? This could be fodder for another book.
Remembrances of Other People's Adventures in Paradise.
There's really no end to the possibilities! For instance, Indeed.
One of the things I was thinking about And I suppose I'd be stuck with more ridiculous notes from editors about the "dramatic voice" of that tome as well.
I see.
No.
Thank you.
Look, if you should hear from him Thanks.
Bryant? Mr.
Calvin? Yes? This is William Chun.
I'm afraid Bryant has been arrested again.
We have him in custody.
I'm on my way.
What happened? We were taking a joy ride.
No big deal.
No big deal? Come on.
Get me out of here.
I made a mistake, okay? A mistake? I won't do it again.
Man, what is wrong with you? You've got everything in the world going for you.
Do we have to talk about this here? Yeah.
Yeah.
We do.
Maybe this is the one place you'll have to listen to me.
Oh, man.
Bryant, you are not making little mistakes.
You are screwing up.
You're cutting classes, you're getting into fights, you're stealing Oh, sure, take Mom's side of it.
Don't bother to trust me.
I trusted you tonight.
Are you gonna get me out of here or not? No.
No, I'm not.
Dad! Somewhere along the line, you're gonna have to start to figure out that when you mess up you've got to pay the price.
Now, maybe a night in here will give you a chance to think about that.
That's great.
Just walk out.
That's all you ever do.
When do you pay the price? Right now.
Rosine, where's Rick? He's dancing.
Excuse me.
Rick? Cleo! Hi, Thomas! What are you doing here? Eh, Thomas, it's not what you think.
She's my guest.
It's been a long time.
I know.
Oh, the last time I saw you was Behind the, uh Right! I'll never forget that night.
Me, either.
You look great.
You do too.
Oh, I heard your tape.
It sounds real interesting.
I might like to get into that project.
Great! Yeah, well, we'd like to stand here and talk to you, Thomas, but we gotta go.
We've got a lot of things to do.
See you later.
Rick! Wait! I wanna talk to you.
About business.
Well, call me at the office.
Hi, T.
C.
Bye, T.
C.
Bye, Thomas! Bye, Cleo! T.
C.
, can I get you something? Oh! Yeah, Rosine.
How about a cup of coffee? Longneck, Thomas? Why not? I'm glad you're here, T.
C.
Did you get a chance to listen to the tape? Uh, yeah Because I think I got the discounted airline tickets in the bag.
And that should substantially raise our profit index.
Good.
Boy! Between you and Rick, I'm not sure I can handle the enthusiasm.
Thanks.
You know, you wanna learn to fly the helicopter, you read some books, you take some classes, you make a few mistakes, you pick yourself up and you try again.
Before you know it, You flying.
You don't worry about whether you're gonna be the best helicopter pilot in the world, or, "Are you going to inadvertently do something wrong "and ruin the helicopter for life?" Now who's talking around what they wanna say? You have a natural talent for flying, T.
C.
Yeah.
Yeah well, you also have a natural talent with kids.
So I guess the trick is to just know when to put down the book and just fly, on gut instinct.
That's what I tell my kids when I'm coaching them.
I think that's where I heard it.
Okay! About the tape.
What do you think about "Rainbow Excursions"? Sorry, Thomas.
I've got something I got to take care of.
Oh, Rosine, can I have my check, please? Sure.
I'll put it on my tab.
Yeah.
Your tab for tonight, and, uh, these will bring you up to date.
What do you think of "Paradise Found"? For what? Lmagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing outside.
The temperature is five degrees below zero with a wind chill factor of minus 20 As a final memento, I thought we could give them a photo diary.
Photos I could take, Higgins, with your I mean, Robin's camera.
So! That's about it, let me know what you think.
Extraordinary.
Maybe you're not such a wimp after all.
You did okay tonight, with the cops.
You stood up to your old man, too.
Maybe we'd consider jumping you in, if you wanna belong.
Of course, you'd have to do something for us first.
Like what? Like boost a car, on your own.
Unless you can't hack it.
Well, what would you do with it? What we always do.
Break it down for parts.
Bryant Calvin? Your father's here to pick you up.
We'll be looking for you.
Imagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing outside.
The temperature is five degrees below zero with a wind chill factor of minus 20.
Thanks, anyway, Higgins.
What waits for you is balmy breezes, warm tropical waters, blue skies, a dream come true.
Oh, that's good, Son.
Nothing like a little elbow grease to get her shined up, huh? Yeah.
Boy, you sure got a lot of stuff stored on the dock.
A couple of trips ought to take care of it.
What is it? Mostly food and stuff? Oh, no.
Auto parts, appliances, other merchandise.
I'm taking it to the Outer Islands.
Hey! What's this sudden interest in the business? I don't know.
Maybe I'll start my own charter company.
Compete with you.
Whoa! That's probably Thomas calling to say he's late.
I'll get it.
Island Hoppers.
Um, Budge? Yeah.
No, I haven't actually been able to.
No, I'm going to! What if I could just get you the auto parts? New ones! No! But Wait! Thomas Sullivan Magnum? Is that you? Can't be! I mean, all dressed up, and on time? You can laugh all you want, T.
C.
When we're millionaires, you'll be singing a different tune.
How're you doing, Bryant? Okay.
Yeah.
Your dad tells me you're working part-time at a hospital? Yeah.
It's okay, I guess.
Well, I don't want to be late for my appointment with the board of directors of Paradise Airlines at 3:00, which is why I came here, T.
C.
I'm not going to any meeting with you.
No, I wouldn't ask you to! I wouldn't ask you to at all.
I just need to go over my sales pitch one more time.
You know, make sure it's perfect.
You don't mind if I steal your dad away for a couple of minutes, do you, Bryant? No.
T.
C? Lmagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing How do I let myself get into these things? That's it? That's the whole pitch? Yeah.
So what do you think? I think I can understand why you're trying to make such a drastic change in your life.
It's not a drastic change, T.
C.
Yes, it is.
But whatever I can do to help, I'll be glad to do.
So, how are things here with Bryant? I don't know.
We're still in flight school together.
I think we're making headway.
Bryant? I don't think so.
Zodiac's missing.
He can't handle that boat in this water.
Not by himself.
He won't go far, the tank's almost empty.
Oh, looks like the engine stalled.
Without an engine the wind's gonna wash him right up on the rocks.
Another gust of wind and we'll go into the cliffs.
You can drop me.
I'll bring the boat in.
No.
Too risky.
If we get too low, the rotor blades will chop up the sea and turn him over.
Damn it! He's over! Help! I'm gonna get you out of here.
Bryant, I need you to hold on to me.
Okay? Okay.
Come on.
Come on! They wanted me to steal a car, so I could belong to their gang.
But I didn't do it.
You don't know what it's like not to fit in.
To be scared.
So you run off and risk your own life to join some motorcycle gang.
I knew you wouldn't understand.
Hey, you wait a minute.
Don't you talk to me about not understanding.
You think I don't know how it feels to be lonely and scared? I've been to those places lots of times.
But it's what you do when you're feeling that way that says something about you.
Yeah, but You wanna belong? You already belong.
You belong to your family.
To me, your mother, your sister.
Did you even stop to think what it would've meant to them if something had happened to you? You always want people to accept you and take you in, but you don't want to have any responsibility toward them.
Now, I got a gang of kids playing baseball every Saturday.
You can join them.
Or I'll tell you what.
You stated your case pretty good, so why don't you hang out with the guys on the debating team at school? If you wanna ruin your life by trying to belong to some tired motorcycle gang, well, that's up to you.
But don't expect me to feel bad for you.
I almost lost my son today.
You gonna send me home? I don't know.
I'd like to stay.
Eat the chicken soup.
It's supposed to be good for you.
Yeah, sure.
I understand, Sarah.
Of course.
He had the exact same idea I had, huh? Yeah! It is a coincidence.
Yeah Yep.
You too.
Missed your meeting, huh? Well, it's no big deal.
You know the woman I talked to about the tickets? Her ex-husband, Fred, had the same idea.
And they've decided to go with him.
Now what? Well, in the words of my great-grandfather, Patrick, "Regroup," T.
C.
"Don't let the first setback set you back.
" Onward and upward.
I'm calling another meeting.
Hi, Loni.
Hi, Thomas.
Hey Thomas, T.
C.
's not gonna make it.
He went fishing with Bryant.
But I gotta talk to you.
Well that's why I came here, to go over all this stuff with you and Higgins.
Where's Higgins? Never mind Higgins, and never mind all that stuff.
Sit down here.
I got something to say.
Oh! Look, here's the deal.
It's sort of hypothetical, but let's say that you were me.
Strike that.
Let's say that I were me, which of course I am.
I mean, the point is, it shouldn't matter what someone has done, or hasn't done, or with whom, or even if you know who.
I mean, as far as I'm concerned, it never happened.
I'm sure that it probably really didn't ever happen.
But if it did, I don't wanna know.
Okay? Okay.
And I'd appreciate it if you'd never bring it up again.
You can count on it.
I'm glad we got that settled.
I'm late.
I gotta go.
I gotta go to a dance class.
Dance class? Yeah.
Cleo and I signed up for Arthur Murray.
Cleo? See you later, Thomas.
Rick! Cleo? Higgins! Well, I knew you wouldn't disappoint me.
Indeed not.
The only ones who are going to be disappointed are your publishers.
My publishers? Well, you are the one who sent them my memoirs in the first place.
Unfortunately, Magnum, I've discovered an entirely new tack to take on the book.
A more emotionally involved direction.
It's quite exciting.
I'm going to rewrite the whole thing and put it up for a bidding war.
That's great! I wanted to tell you before I sent their check back out of courtesy.
Well, thank you.
I guess we can get down to business now.
I'm afraid not.
I must get back, Magnum.
There's months of work ahead but it will be worth it.
I sense that this new approach will bring every publishing house in the world to its knees.
That's great.
Goodbye, Magnum.
The Great Hawaiian Adventure Company! You don't know what it's like not to fit in.
Don't you talk to me about not understanding.
You think I don't know how it feels to be lonely and scared? Champagne? Uh, great.
Ah! Bryant's been arrested.
We have him in custody.
Go! Come on, come on! Go! Let's go! Put your hands where we can see them.
You have the right to remain silent.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you can't afford an attorney, the court will appoint one for you.
Do you have any questions? You were very lucky this time, son, believe me.
Three weeks of community service is a lot better than doing time, even at Juvie.
Just give this to the officer at the front desk.
They'll release your son to your custody.
Thanks.
Let's go.
I'm sorry, Dad.
It won't happen again.
It happens over and over.
He tells you, "Meet me here at 3:00," and he comes strolling in here at 4:00.
Well, I'm gonna tell you something, this is the last time I sit around here and wait for him.
Oh, I doubt if it's the last time.
We've been threatening him with "last times" for lots of years.
Well, there comes a time in every man's life when you have to make some changes.
Yeah, well, I'm giving him about five more minutes, and then I gotta go pick up Bryant.
Hey, how's he doing? What's it like to have your son with you after all these years? Have you seen Magnum? No.
We're waiting for him.
He's late.
He left an urgent message at the estate.
Said it was imperative that I meet him here.
That's the same message I got.
Well, imperative or not, I have to be at the post office before three.
They're holding a registered letter from my publisher.
The first set of notes on my memoirs.
Hey, I hope it's good news.
Yeah, so do I.
I've got plans, too.
Again? You seem to have left work early every day this week.
Yeah.
You've been looking pretty good, lately.
So? What's wrong with that? What's her name? Oh, come on.
Why is it that every time I have plans, you seem to think it has something to do with a woman? You have got to be kidding.
How long have I known you? Well, I'm just making some changes in my life, that's all.
I'm giving myself a little more time.
Who is she? You may as well tell him.
You're going to sooner or later anyway.
All right, guys, I'll tell you.
But you can't tell Thomas.
Tell me what? Thomas! What? You don't want them to tell me what? He doesn't want us to tell you that you're late.
Again.
And I've got to go.
This will only take a second, and you'd hate yourselves if you didn't hear my proposal.
Proposal? Yes.
For the Great Hawaiian Adventure Company.
One minute.
That's all I'm gonna give you.
That's all I need, T.
C.
And believe me, you will not regret this.
Gentlemen, this could be the turning point in our lives.
A venture that will not only give us all a little bit of financial security, but a new challenge in life.
A reason for getting up in the morning and starting the new day.
The Great Hawaiian Adventure Company! Or "Great Hawaiian Expeditions.
" You know, I'm not sure which one I really like better, but that's not important right now.
We'll figure out the details later.
At any rate, this company, founded by us, and run by us, and owned by us, will begin to return our financial as well as time investment almost immediately.
Wait! No, T.
C! Come on, you haven't heard my market research.
No.
I heard "investment.
" That's enough for me.
Well, not Well, all right, take this tape.
It explains all the details, your participation, and you're gonna thank me one day.
See you later.
I gotta go.
I already have my tape.
Rick Demographics.
Demographics are a largely misunderstood and underused tool in today's marketplace.
Yes, I see.
For instance, nearly come to Hawaii fully expecting the Higgins, you forgot your tape! Demographics.
Demographics are a largely misunderstood and underused tool in today's marketplace.
Demographics.
I know what you're thinking.
But this time, you're wrong.
I wasn't looking to get a job, or find a new life direction, or anything like that.
But great ideas only come along once or twice in a lifetime.
And this one was definitely worth pursuing.
"Adventures in Paradise"? No.
Ooh! That's too cute.
Hi.
Can I help you? I have an appointment with Sarah Amlin.
Thomas Magnum.
Thomas Magnum.
Okay, right this way.
What about the employee pension fund? Right, right.
What? Miss Amlin, it's your Yes, I'm here.
She'll be right with you.
Thank you.
Sorry.
No, that's not the percentage we talked about.
No.
Mmm-mmm.
Uh, just sit anywhere.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Doug.
No.
No, those figures, they just don't work for me.
Okay.
Call me back.
Yes, I'll be here.
Sounds like trouble.
Well, these things have a way of working themselves out.
It's been my experience that most big corporations have their own little intricate set of troubles.
It's not the airlines.
It's my divorce.
Oh! Well, there's nothing like a little work to help you forget your problems.
Yeah, I guess so.
So, you said on the phone you have a proposition for Paradise? Yes.
The Great Hawaiian The Great Hawaiian Adventure Company.
It's a specialized tour package.
We bring the people to Hawaii on your airline, at a discounted rate, of course and then, take them on their fantasy tour of paradise.
Freddy! What? I beg your pardon? My husband, Fred.
He had a different get-rich-quick scheme for every day of the week.
Oh, this isn't "The really great ideas only come along once or twice in a lifetime," he'd say.
Well, there's some truth to that.
Meanwhile, we threw money away on every impossible dream, one after the other, and I just I just finally got sick of supporting him.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
But this is not an impossible dream.
I have the manpower, the concept is solid, and I think the demographics and the market research Is something you'll find very interesting.
Your lawyer on line two.
Excuse me.
Hold one minute, Doug.
Look, Mr.
Magnum.
Thomas.
Thomas, I'm not sure what Paradise would get out of your proposition.
Well, I've outlined everything in detail in this report that I've drawn up.
Well the thing is, I'm very busy right now, and Yes, but if you'll just read the report.
You won't be sorry.
Well, if you wanna stop back by after the rest of the business world goes to dinner I'll be here.
Say, 7:00? On the nose.
Thank you.
Okay, Doug, I'm back.
No, the house is mine! We agreed to that.
I don't care what I signed! Can't you explain it away? Duress or something? Fraud? Well, how'd it go today? All right.
You got any good tapes? Yeah, maybe one or two.
You know, I was just thinking, maybe that job you got at the hospital, it might do a lot of good for you.
Hi, T.
C! Welcome to "Paradise Found!" What's this? Your job, should you Just some project that Magnum wanted to talk to me about.
You know, I think that's one of the reasons why you got in trouble at your mom's.
Too much time after school with nothing to do.
I made a mistake, okay? I'm paying for it, aren't I? That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is that you're staying with me now, things are gonna be done a little bit differently.
You know, I think that this community service thing that the judge gave you, well, maybe it ought to be something that you should pursue.
I guess.
The only thing is, I don't want to spend all my spare time over there.
I thought when I came here, we'd have some time together.
To do stuff.
You know, you and me.
Well, I mean, you know we're gonna do lots of that.
I didn't invite them here.
The point is, Higgins, no one on the island has a sense of history that can match yours.
Your sense of dramatic flair, your Well, you get my drift.
Anyway, we pick the tourists up at the airport, whisk them out to the estate for a brief historical perspective, courtesy of Jonathan Quayle Higgins.
This is absolute balderdash.
And then, after a tour of the grounds "The persona is too objective, lacks emotional involvement.
" Of course it lacks emotional involvement! That's precisely how I wrote it.
How could a British army officer function if he were forever getting emotionally involved? It's absurd.
What kind of cretins are they hiring as editors these days? Naturally, I'd like to be published.
Who wouldn't? But at the expense of destroying the material? We will be picked up by T.
C.
's helicopter for an aerial orientation.
Now, that gives you a chance to get everything back in order for the second group.
Now, I know at first, there probably won't be any more than one group a day.
However "Imagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
"It's freezing outside.
" Mr.
Magnum? In here! Hello.
Well, I was never any good at apologies, so I hope you'll accept this dinner as my way of saying, "I'm sorry for being such a jerk earlier today.
" Oh! Well, you weren't a jerk.
No, we had an appointment.
I let my personal life get in the way of business.
So now I'm letting business get in the way of my personal life.
I don't mean that having dinner with you would in any way interfere with my personal life.
Could we start over? Of course.
The report was very interesting.
You read it? Dinner will be ready in seven minutes.
Champagne? Uh, great.
Ah! Oh, my God! Are you all right? No, I'm fine.
I'm fine, really.
Maybe, uh, No, I'm just you'd like to come back tomorrow? I'm fine! Really.
No, I think it's better that I make my presentation tonight.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Right.
Good.
Okay.
So I'll just Yeah, yeah.
Just Go right ahead.
Imagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing outside.
The temperature is five degrees below zero with a wind chill factor of minus 20.
You are whisked away from the ice and snow via Paradise Airlines to the sun-kissed shores of the beautiful island of Oahu, the most famous of all the Hawaiian Islands.
What's that? That was a mistake.
I meant to turn on some music.
Hey, Cleo, can I help you with anything? Yeah, pour the champagne.
Okay.
You look beautiful.
Thanks.
I thought I heard Thomas's voice.
Yeah, you did.
It was on a tape.
Oh! You're working on a case together! That sounds very exciting.
No.
He's got some scheme he wants me to invest in.
That guy is so smart.
Did I ever tell you about the time he came to me for some information about this guy that's on the board of regents? Yes, Cleo.
Oh, God.
We stayed up all night staking this guy's house out.
I have never had so much fun in my whole life.
Yeah.
Thomas is a real card, that's for sure.
You know, you sure are lucky to have a guy like that for a best friend.
Yeah, right.
And you know something? He doesn't even seem to mind about what I do for a living.
You know, being a working girl and all.
Oops! Crepes are ready.
I'll be right back.
Cleo, did you and Thomas ever What? Well Did you and Thomas ever Forget it.
It's nothing.
I just want you to know how much I've enjoyed the last few weeks with you.
Oh, I have too.
Really? You're comfortable.
Like being around my brother.
Cleo.
Hmm.
What do you say we go dancing after dinner? You hate dancing! Yeah.
But hey, a guy can change.
Okay.
Hi, Rick, it's me.
So here's the part where you come in.
You'll pick the group up at the estate and fly them to a remote area of the Koolaus, where I will join them and take them on a three-day, two-night adventure in the backwoods.
Oh you will, will you? Well? What do you think? Good investment or wild scheme? I don't know.
Good, I guess.
You're not eating, man.
I'm not really that hungry.
Bryant, you did the right thing last week.
I mean, telling the police who really stole the motorcycle.
They think I'm a snitch.
Yeah, but we don't care what they think.
Look, I know how you feel.
I Can I be excused? Bryant, I'm talking to you.
There are gonna have to be some changes here.
I don't know what you're used to in L.
A.
, but you're here now, and you're gonna have to start learning discipline, responsibility, and common manners.
Go on, go to your room.
We'll talk about this later.
Don't bother thanking me, T.
C.
I'm happy to include my good friends in on an idea that can't miss.
I think you're right.
You do? Mmm-hmm.
It has good promotional possibilities for Paradise Airlines.
You get your discount tickets and we reach a whole new market.
What can I say? "Yes" would be good.
Well, unfortunately, I'm not the one who can say "yes.
" That's up to the board of directors.
Of course, I'll give them my enthusiastic recommendation.
This is turning out better than I thought.
I mean, you know I know what you mean.
Yeah.
The board is meeting tomorrow at 3:00.
I'll put you on the agenda on one condition.
What? Leave your easel at home.
That's a deal.
Once they make you the officer of a corporation, your life is never your own.
Sarah Amlin.
I told you not to call me again.
No.
I told you to talk to my lawyers.
Just a minute.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I really do think they're gonna go for it.
Great.
Bye.
Bye.
It's no good, Fred.
We've been over this a hundred times.
What can I say? Bryant.
Bryant, why do you kids have to play the radio so loud Thanks for the ride.
Hey, take it easy.
After three days and two nights in the wilderness, our tourist groups are going to really be ready for a little luxury.
We offer them a hot shower, and then we hit them with high tea and give them a chance to recount their adventures in the wilderness to you.
And who knows, Higgins? This could be fodder for another book.
Remembrances of Other People's Adventures in Paradise.
There's really no end to the possibilities! For instance, Indeed.
One of the things I was thinking about And I suppose I'd be stuck with more ridiculous notes from editors about the "dramatic voice" of that tome as well.
I see.
No.
Thank you.
Look, if you should hear from him Thanks.
Bryant? Mr.
Calvin? Yes? This is William Chun.
I'm afraid Bryant has been arrested again.
We have him in custody.
I'm on my way.
What happened? We were taking a joy ride.
No big deal.
No big deal? Come on.
Get me out of here.
I made a mistake, okay? A mistake? I won't do it again.
Man, what is wrong with you? You've got everything in the world going for you.
Do we have to talk about this here? Yeah.
Yeah.
We do.
Maybe this is the one place you'll have to listen to me.
Oh, man.
Bryant, you are not making little mistakes.
You are screwing up.
You're cutting classes, you're getting into fights, you're stealing Oh, sure, take Mom's side of it.
Don't bother to trust me.
I trusted you tonight.
Are you gonna get me out of here or not? No.
No, I'm not.
Dad! Somewhere along the line, you're gonna have to start to figure out that when you mess up you've got to pay the price.
Now, maybe a night in here will give you a chance to think about that.
That's great.
Just walk out.
That's all you ever do.
When do you pay the price? Right now.
Rosine, where's Rick? He's dancing.
Excuse me.
Rick? Cleo! Hi, Thomas! What are you doing here? Eh, Thomas, it's not what you think.
She's my guest.
It's been a long time.
I know.
Oh, the last time I saw you was Behind the, uh Right! I'll never forget that night.
Me, either.
You look great.
You do too.
Oh, I heard your tape.
It sounds real interesting.
I might like to get into that project.
Great! Yeah, well, we'd like to stand here and talk to you, Thomas, but we gotta go.
We've got a lot of things to do.
See you later.
Rick! Wait! I wanna talk to you.
About business.
Well, call me at the office.
Hi, T.
C.
Bye, T.
C.
Bye, Thomas! Bye, Cleo! T.
C.
, can I get you something? Oh! Yeah, Rosine.
How about a cup of coffee? Longneck, Thomas? Why not? I'm glad you're here, T.
C.
Did you get a chance to listen to the tape? Uh, yeah Because I think I got the discounted airline tickets in the bag.
And that should substantially raise our profit index.
Good.
Boy! Between you and Rick, I'm not sure I can handle the enthusiasm.
Thanks.
You know, you wanna learn to fly the helicopter, you read some books, you take some classes, you make a few mistakes, you pick yourself up and you try again.
Before you know it, You flying.
You don't worry about whether you're gonna be the best helicopter pilot in the world, or, "Are you going to inadvertently do something wrong "and ruin the helicopter for life?" Now who's talking around what they wanna say? You have a natural talent for flying, T.
C.
Yeah.
Yeah well, you also have a natural talent with kids.
So I guess the trick is to just know when to put down the book and just fly, on gut instinct.
That's what I tell my kids when I'm coaching them.
I think that's where I heard it.
Okay! About the tape.
What do you think about "Rainbow Excursions"? Sorry, Thomas.
I've got something I got to take care of.
Oh, Rosine, can I have my check, please? Sure.
I'll put it on my tab.
Yeah.
Your tab for tonight, and, uh, these will bring you up to date.
What do you think of "Paradise Found"? For what? Lmagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing outside.
The temperature is five degrees below zero with a wind chill factor of minus 20 As a final memento, I thought we could give them a photo diary.
Photos I could take, Higgins, with your I mean, Robin's camera.
So! That's about it, let me know what you think.
Extraordinary.
Maybe you're not such a wimp after all.
You did okay tonight, with the cops.
You stood up to your old man, too.
Maybe we'd consider jumping you in, if you wanna belong.
Of course, you'd have to do something for us first.
Like what? Like boost a car, on your own.
Unless you can't hack it.
Well, what would you do with it? What we always do.
Break it down for parts.
Bryant Calvin? Your father's here to pick you up.
We'll be looking for you.
Imagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing outside.
The temperature is five degrees below zero with a wind chill factor of minus 20.
Thanks, anyway, Higgins.
What waits for you is balmy breezes, warm tropical waters, blue skies, a dream come true.
Oh, that's good, Son.
Nothing like a little elbow grease to get her shined up, huh? Yeah.
Boy, you sure got a lot of stuff stored on the dock.
A couple of trips ought to take care of it.
What is it? Mostly food and stuff? Oh, no.
Auto parts, appliances, other merchandise.
I'm taking it to the Outer Islands.
Hey! What's this sudden interest in the business? I don't know.
Maybe I'll start my own charter company.
Compete with you.
Whoa! That's probably Thomas calling to say he's late.
I'll get it.
Island Hoppers.
Um, Budge? Yeah.
No, I haven't actually been able to.
No, I'm going to! What if I could just get you the auto parts? New ones! No! But Wait! Thomas Sullivan Magnum? Is that you? Can't be! I mean, all dressed up, and on time? You can laugh all you want, T.
C.
When we're millionaires, you'll be singing a different tune.
How're you doing, Bryant? Okay.
Yeah.
Your dad tells me you're working part-time at a hospital? Yeah.
It's okay, I guess.
Well, I don't want to be late for my appointment with the board of directors of Paradise Airlines at 3:00, which is why I came here, T.
C.
I'm not going to any meeting with you.
No, I wouldn't ask you to! I wouldn't ask you to at all.
I just need to go over my sales pitch one more time.
You know, make sure it's perfect.
You don't mind if I steal your dad away for a couple of minutes, do you, Bryant? No.
T.
C? Lmagine you're sitting at home in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
It's freezing How do I let myself get into these things? That's it? That's the whole pitch? Yeah.
So what do you think? I think I can understand why you're trying to make such a drastic change in your life.
It's not a drastic change, T.
C.
Yes, it is.
But whatever I can do to help, I'll be glad to do.
So, how are things here with Bryant? I don't know.
We're still in flight school together.
I think we're making headway.
Bryant? I don't think so.
Zodiac's missing.
He can't handle that boat in this water.
Not by himself.
He won't go far, the tank's almost empty.
Oh, looks like the engine stalled.
Without an engine the wind's gonna wash him right up on the rocks.
Another gust of wind and we'll go into the cliffs.
You can drop me.
I'll bring the boat in.
No.
Too risky.
If we get too low, the rotor blades will chop up the sea and turn him over.
Damn it! He's over! Help! I'm gonna get you out of here.
Bryant, I need you to hold on to me.
Okay? Okay.
Come on.
Come on! They wanted me to steal a car, so I could belong to their gang.
But I didn't do it.
You don't know what it's like not to fit in.
To be scared.
So you run off and risk your own life to join some motorcycle gang.
I knew you wouldn't understand.
Hey, you wait a minute.
Don't you talk to me about not understanding.
You think I don't know how it feels to be lonely and scared? I've been to those places lots of times.
But it's what you do when you're feeling that way that says something about you.
Yeah, but You wanna belong? You already belong.
You belong to your family.
To me, your mother, your sister.
Did you even stop to think what it would've meant to them if something had happened to you? You always want people to accept you and take you in, but you don't want to have any responsibility toward them.
Now, I got a gang of kids playing baseball every Saturday.
You can join them.
Or I'll tell you what.
You stated your case pretty good, so why don't you hang out with the guys on the debating team at school? If you wanna ruin your life by trying to belong to some tired motorcycle gang, well, that's up to you.
But don't expect me to feel bad for you.
I almost lost my son today.
You gonna send me home? I don't know.
I'd like to stay.
Eat the chicken soup.
It's supposed to be good for you.
Yeah, sure.
I understand, Sarah.
Of course.
He had the exact same idea I had, huh? Yeah! It is a coincidence.
Yeah Yep.
You too.
Missed your meeting, huh? Well, it's no big deal.
You know the woman I talked to about the tickets? Her ex-husband, Fred, had the same idea.
And they've decided to go with him.
Now what? Well, in the words of my great-grandfather, Patrick, "Regroup," T.
C.
"Don't let the first setback set you back.
" Onward and upward.
I'm calling another meeting.
Hi, Loni.
Hi, Thomas.
Hey Thomas, T.
C.
's not gonna make it.
He went fishing with Bryant.
But I gotta talk to you.
Well that's why I came here, to go over all this stuff with you and Higgins.
Where's Higgins? Never mind Higgins, and never mind all that stuff.
Sit down here.
I got something to say.
Oh! Look, here's the deal.
It's sort of hypothetical, but let's say that you were me.
Strike that.
Let's say that I were me, which of course I am.
I mean, the point is, it shouldn't matter what someone has done, or hasn't done, or with whom, or even if you know who.
I mean, as far as I'm concerned, it never happened.
I'm sure that it probably really didn't ever happen.
But if it did, I don't wanna know.
Okay? Okay.
And I'd appreciate it if you'd never bring it up again.
You can count on it.
I'm glad we got that settled.
I'm late.
I gotta go.
I gotta go to a dance class.
Dance class? Yeah.
Cleo and I signed up for Arthur Murray.
Cleo? See you later, Thomas.
Rick! Cleo? Higgins! Well, I knew you wouldn't disappoint me.
Indeed not.
The only ones who are going to be disappointed are your publishers.
My publishers? Well, you are the one who sent them my memoirs in the first place.
Unfortunately, Magnum, I've discovered an entirely new tack to take on the book.
A more emotionally involved direction.
It's quite exciting.
I'm going to rewrite the whole thing and put it up for a bidding war.
That's great! I wanted to tell you before I sent their check back out of courtesy.
Well, thank you.
I guess we can get down to business now.
I'm afraid not.
I must get back, Magnum.
There's months of work ahead but it will be worth it.
I sense that this new approach will bring every publishing house in the world to its knees.
That's great.
Goodbye, Magnum.