Maid (2021) s01e07 Episode Script

String Cheese

Value Maids! Value Maids! Value Maids! Hello! Of course I'm at work.
I show up to work on time.
Which girl is this? Alex.
3450 Ardmore.
Okay, keep your pants on.
I'll check my phone.
She forgot we were coming.
Happens sometimes.
Okay, well, is she gonna pay me for today? Why would she do that? She ain't getting her house cleaned.
You're not returning my Dyson like that, are you? Yolanda, I can't afford to get stiffed today.
I can't.
Showing up for this cost me because I had to pay for gas, and for daycare.
I'm not taking a loss on today.
- Calm your tits.
Let me see what I got.
All right.
19 Glastonbury, 12 noon.
That's Catalina's clean, but that girl don't wanna work.
Never mind.
That's a five-hour clean.
That's gonna take you over your 30 hours.
So put me over 30 hours.
No, you know the rules.
- So let me get this straight.
You cap us at 30 hours, but if a client stands us up, you're not gonna compensate us for the time and money that we've wasted? Sorry.
Rules are rules.
Yolanda, this is bullshit! I showed up for work and you owe me work.
Fuck! Okay.
Thanks for calling, mama.
Hi, can I help you? Hi, ma'am, I can see that you're on your way out, so I'm gonna be super quick.
You use Value Maids cleaning service, right? Yeah, they're coming this afternoon.
Why? My name is Alex, and I would like to clean your house instead.
Yeah, no thanks.
- I'll do it for $10 an hour, cash.
What's the catch? - No catch.
You get a much better clean at a much cheaper rate, and I'm gonna get some cash in hand.
Just call Value Maids, cancel your clean, and I'll start right away.
- Thank you.
The owners of 19 Glastonbury were a married couple who lived completely separate lives.
Their food was separate.
Their linens were separate.
Separate shoes.
Separate chairs.
Even their bedrooms were separate.
With separate sex drawers.
His with his porn magazines full of hairless vaginas and fake tits.
Hers with her romance novels about cowboys.
Shirtless cowboys.
Shirtless on a horse, shirtless in a storm, shirtless by a cactus.
Marriage was an armistice between two dueling parties in this house.
Each hiding behind their walls.
Each dreaming of someone else.
You don't have to knock.
Do you want some coffee? I just made a fresh pot.
I'm gonna be in and out.
- Okay.
What are you looking for? There's a folder my mom said she gave me with her bank and mortgage papers in it.
What do you need that for? Something wrong with your mom's house? Yes.
There's tenants that are paying rent to Basil, and I can't kick them out without proof that she owns it.
Can I help? - Oh, you wanna help me, Sean? Yeah.
I do.
And I'm sorry.
I don't know how many times I have to apologize.
I lost my apartment because of you.
I know.
It was a slip.
Okay? It happens.
I was in a meeting later that same day.
- I was homeless later that same day.
And this time, my mom was too.
- I meant what I said.
You take the trailer.
I'll sleep in the car.
I will never live here again.
Alex, can you stop a minute? Hmm? Hey, can we talk? I worked so hard to get a Fisher Island address, so that Maddy could go to that preschool.
We almost lost everything because of you.
I'm sure that Nate was eager to stick his address on your forms.
- I don't want her living with that guy.
It's gonna confuse her.
- About what a nice guy acts like? You know, you wanted me sober.
Well, this is me sober, baby! I'm a fucked-up person, and it's gonna be messy, but I'm doing this for you and Maddy.
I should not have broken - Just do it for Maddy.
into that house looking for you, but I was looking for you.
- Alex! Look, I can't do this without you.
- Stop, just stop.
Stop! Stop! Okay? Otherwise, what's the fucking point? You're the only person that really knows me, that knows what I come from.
Okay? That's why we work! Alex! That's why we work.
Okay? - Stop.
I'm leaving.
- We're damaged the same way.
We're family! All right, Mom, let's do this.
Give me a second.
These places make me nauseous.
I think you're good.
How did a daughter of mine end up so square? You're basically a trapezoid.
A trapezoid is not a square.
- Only a square would know that.
This is a Chinese food menu.
I am sorry about that.
This is a lab report.
You said this was your bank and important documents.
I think this is a different folder.
I've got an acceptance letter from Montana College of Fine Arts here.
You kept my acceptance letter? - I'm your mother.
You were gonna be the first Langley to go to college.
I'm sorry.
There's nothing in here pertaining to a mortgage.
Uh, she's refinanced her house probably 40 times.
Is there any way that you could just look her up in your system? Do you have a license or state-issued ID, Miss Langley? Nope.
No license? - They pull you over.
They look you up in that machine.
How about a passport? A social security card? Birth certificate? Her wallet and most of her stuff is actually in an RV with her husband, and he's gone missing.
He's just blowing off some steam.
He'll be back in a few days.
We just need to get a copy of her mortgage so that we can prove to the tenants in her house that she owns her house.
Could you please help us out with that? Without identification, I can't really do anything.
Okay, listen up here, um, Sin Singe I'm sorry.
Singh! Hmm.
- Yeah.
You know, I think we can both agree that I'm a real person sitting here.
I've got real skin and real hair and I don't wanna embarrass you, but these babies are real.
I think you can vouch for my identity, and, you know, just type into your little screen over there and pull my mortgage up.
Can't you, sweetheart? Hmm.
Last four digits of your social? - Attaboy.
Whoo! Are you sure your mortgage is with us? - Yes.
What bank is this? - JSMB.
Sorry, this is not my bank! Oh, Singhy, baby, you sure are a sweetheart.
Thank you for your help.
You have a good day! You too.
You act like it's my fault that all my shit's in Basil's RV.
It is your fault.
You married an idiot that rented your house out and now we can't live in it.
Well, I'll deal with it when he gets back.
He's not coming back, Mom.
Will you button up? You know what sucks? It's your attitude.
I mean, look at this amazing house that we get to live in.
We don't live here.
We're crashing here for a few days max.
Welcome home! Hi! Sorry I'm late.
We're in here! Look, Mommy.
This looks amazing.
Is this shepherd's pie? Yeah.
Smells fabulous.
Is this homemade? - Yeah.
I cook on Sundays and just freeze it for the week.
Throw it in after work, easy-peasy.
Thank you for picking her up, by the way.
Absolutely, I was already picking up Brady, right? Sit.
I'll make you a plate.
Salad? Yes, please.
I didn't wanna dress it yet because I didn't want it to be wet.
Do you like your salad wet? - Yes.
This stuff is the best.
Want some? You know, balsamic vinaigrettes are too vinegar-y.
But this one's just got the perfect balance.
I made it myself.
- And I was thinking.
Maybe tomorrow we'd do A baked potato bar? Pick your own toppings.
- Well, I've got to get back to work.
I'm doing something truly extraordinary back there, Nathaniel, and your garage is taking my brush so well.
What are you doing to his garage? I've been asked to paint a mural.
Uh, you're aware of this? Yeah.
She was looking for something to do.
I figured, sure, make the back of the garage more cheerful.
Cheerful adjacent.
Right, I mean, we're just honored to have a real-life artist with us here, aren't we, Brady? Yeah? You are a real gem, Nathaniel.
Like alexandrite, which makes a diamond look like a trash can.
Oh Okay, thank you, Paula.
- Mm.
Hey, Mom.
The Porn House couple live separate lives in separate rooms.
But they must have shared a life once.
Perhaps one of them got hurt.
Perhaps they hurt each other.
But something brought them together.
Now they sleep behind closed doors.
Each too afraid to admit that what would make them happy is in the room next door.
Maddy down? Yep.
Brady down? With a fight.
Uh, can I get you a beer? There's plenty more in your fridge that you paid for.
Yeah, no, I can't drink after 8.
It messes with my stomach.
Um, how about a glass of water? Yeah, sure.
Hey, do you think that Maddy might wanna go to the stables? Brady and I will visit our pony tomorrow, and I could take her after preschool.
You have a pony? I do.
String Cheese.
Brady named her.
She's an ancient Shetland Bay.
Um Of course Maddy can go.
She's gonna lose her shit.
Well, maybe you can come, too, after work.
Sounds good.
- Hey.
I was just, um And I guess you were going that way.
- Yeah.
Um I should probably just go to sleep.
Good night.
Sweet dreams.
Tomorrow, you're gonna meet a real-life pony.
I started calling 32 Coral Road The Loving House after my very first visit.
I've been cleaning their house for months.
This amazing couple lives there.
The husband is a retired professor of some sort.
Art History, I think.
He's incredibly kind.
He took an early retirement three years ago to care for his wife full-time.
I'm not sure if it's cancer or something else.
But judging by the number of medications in the house, it's been a long, miserable illness.
She never seems to get worse, but never better either.
He carries her to the bathroom and treats her with such kindness.
How does it feel to be loved like that? To be cared for like that.
Just bone him already.
He's cute, sweet.
He's got money.
He's good with Branson.
- What's the problem? Just be Nate's girlfriend, then it's not weird for us to be living there.
I'm just gonna do some mild prostitution, Mom.
It's not prostitution if you like him.
And you do.
I can tell.
I don't like Nate.
- Sure you do.
Even if I did like him, he's not the guy that I'm gonna bone for free housing.
He's relationship material.
- Great.
We'll vacation in St.
I've just got out of a long-term thing with Sean.
I don't wanna be dependent on a guy for a hot second.
Maybe I wanna go to college and get off food stamps and buy a fucking house plant.
Nate's house sure is nice.
Maybe a well-timed blowjob.
Make your mama proud.
- Hi.
This here is Paula Langley, and here is a copy of the deed.
See? She owns it.
That's well and good, but that's not what my lease says.
Sir, you need to either start paying us, or you need to move out.
I've got a signed lease that says to pay Basil, not whoever you are.
Basil is a piece of shit.
Stop Venmo-ing Basil and pay us instead.
Not gonna happen.
Sir, my mom owns this house.
You have no source of income and we have nowhere to live.
Stop dodging dick.
What the mind needs to know is that there is someone there to make things better for you.
Someone in your corner.
That's what I tried to take home from The Loving House.
That's very good.
- The belief that it's possible.
- Hey! Mommy's here.
Hi! Look over there.
Who's this? - String Cheese.
This is String Cheese? - That's right.
You wanna pet her? You wanna show me how to pet String Cheese? I don't know how.
How do I do it? Just like we talked about.
Right on the nose.
Good girl.
Now, do you wanna show Mommy your cool trick? Yes.
- Okay.
Remember what we talked about.
Keep your palms straight out like this.
Okay? Keep your hand straight.
Put it up.
Good girl.
Oh, my goodness.
- Yeah! That was so good.
Yeah, we were about to take her out for a ride.
Brady's already out there.
It's just in circles.
If that's okay with you.
Of course it's okay with me.
Do you wanna ride a pony, Maddy? You do? - Yes! Let's do it.
Look, Mommy! I see.
I'm riding a pony.
Good job, honey.
Ready for it? - Look, Mommy.
You're doing such a good job.
Both of those are big.
She's a big girl, and she's on a bigger pony.
It's a horse.
- That's a horse.
All of the other ones are horses.
- This is the only pony that you see? Yep.
You having fun? You're doing such a good job.
The Porn House and The Loving House.
In one, a dream is dashed.
In the other, a horrible tragedy is taking place.
A life ending prematurely.
And me? Just here to dust the debris off both.
For minimum wage, I get to - Maddy down? Yep.
Is Brady down? Yeah.
Paula down? No.
She is night painting.
Night painting.
Which means that she has your work light and she's raided your pretzels.
All right, Paula.
Oh, is she? Okay, because, and I don't wanna pry, but I overheard that maybe there's an issue with her house.
Oh, no, yeah, I sorted it out.
You're sure? Because, if I can help, I'm happy to.
I sorted it all out, thank you.
Are you the only person looking after your mom? Like is your dad? My dad isn't.
All right.
And no siblings? Nope.
Just me.
That must be tough.
I mean, being all alone with her.
What? No.
He told me everything.
We're gonna have a blast, Sean-y.
That's Oh.
Like, what, are your parents happily married and normal? Well, now I can't tell you.
Your parents are happily married and normal.
Yeah, they're retired, and they live in Newport Beach most of the year.
That's awesome.
- Yeah.
You know, I wish that you would let me help you.
You are helping me.
You're helping me so much.
- Okay.
Well, let me get a sitter for Brady and Maddy and take you out to dinner.
You wanna take me to dinner? - I do.
I wanna take you to a movie.
I wanna get you a corsage.
Nate, you're Aw Sorry.
You're a really, really good guy.
I mean that.
You are.
But I'm your charity case.
It's not charity.
Right? You're You're my guest.
I am charity.
I am.
I mean, you feed me, house me, board me, hot-water me.
You are the only difference between us sleeping in a bed and sleeping on the street tonight.
Yeah, I just don't know how I could go to dinner with you and sit across the table from you and share an appetizer, because it's not equal between us.
I don't really care about that stuff.
I just I think you like me, and I know I like you.
That's equal.
Right? I don't think I can be with anybody right now.
Sorry, give me a second.
- You want me to come with you? That's okay.
Hey! I gave you this address because I was legally obligated to.
In no way was this an invitation.
- I need to talk to you.
Okay? About what? - Everything okay out here? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll just be a minute.
Hi, sorry to disturb, man.
I'm Sean.
We've met a number of times, actually, most recently at Maddy's party.
I don't Are you usually memorable? Sean.
- What? Um, you can go inside.
I won't be long.
Thank you.
I'm fine.
- Give me a holler if you need anything.
Oh, yeah, just give a holler, on your trusty steed.
What the fuck is your problem? Stop.
It's great to meet you.
Yeah, you too, buddy.
Love the tech vest.
What the fuck? I'm so sorry.
Jesus Christ.
What are you doing? Um - Where's your mom? She's in the back painting.
You can't come here without an invitation.
Okay, I think we should show her this together.
Show her what? This most recent activity on her mortgage.
I found the folder you were looking for.
With her mortgage stuff in it.
I had her PIN, so I logged on, and I was gonna print it for you, but then I saw that.
Paula! You back here? - Not now! Yes, now, it's very important.
- I'm in it.
Mom! Mom! Hey, this is pretty cool, Paula, what are you working on? It is.
I'm turning a real corner here, baby.
I'm going global with my ideas.
Yeah, lots going on.
A lot of color.
It's very heady stuff, Sean-y.
I don't expect you to know it.
But basically it's deconstructed Arachne from Ovid's 'Metamorphosis.
' You see? Arachne wasn't always a spider.
She was born a human, but a very gifted weaver.
Right, Sean-y? I dig it.
It's very profound.
Your mortgage is in default.
So that means that your house is about to be in foreclosure.
I need to pee.
Is that what all those fucking 800 calls were about? I thought they were trying to sign me up for some new phone plan.
Paula, foreclosure means the bank takes your house away.
I will deal with this later.
I'm sure it's just a big mistake.
No, it's not.
Your mortgage hasn't been paid in six months.
Yes, it has.
Basil does it.
He collects the rent from the tenants and he pays the mortgage.
I've seen him do it.
- I don't think that's true, Paula.
It is true.
I see him write the checks for the mortgage, and I see him walk to the mailbox.
Uh, yeah, I'm sure that he has written some checks and walked to the mailbox, but I don't think that they were to pay your mortgage.
I think this whole thing is a big mistake.
I mean, maybe he doesn't use enough postage.
Use enough postage? Are you fucking kidding me? He's stealing from you.
- Okay, that's not helpful.
Paula, all we need to do is find Basil.
Do you have any idea where he is? He needs to clear his head sometimes.
He goes off the grid.
He is a searcher.
What do you know about this guy? He's not Australian.
- Yes, he is Australian.
He's Australian! He's from fucking Perth! Maddy's asleep.
- Okay, you think he's from Perth.
Yep, but what else do we know about him? This whole thing is her fault.
She has been picking on him since day one.
Calling him 'Cilantro,' doubting his business intentions! Don't you know what that does to a man's psyche? Yes, I've been doubting his business intentions.
He's getting your house foreclosed on, Mom! Wait.
Paula, where's your phone? Fuck if I know, Sean! I don't know! What are you? Do you have a family plan with him? You can use Find My Phone.
I don't know, Sean-y, I just I don't know - You do.
And there he is.
- Where? Skagit, Caribou Casino.
Our boy's a gambler.
I have never seen him gamble.
- This isn't a good thing.
- No, well, he's gambling right now.
Actually, my buddy Jordan works there.
I'll drive.
Hell yeah! Now you're talking, road trip! - Yeah? Let me get my good weed, baby.
Hold on! No! We're not gonna go to a casino to confront a con man.
No! I feel like we're going to Burning Man, but instead of Burning Man, we're going to Basil Man! He's gonna be so surprised to see me.
Sean-y boy.
Want some? Oh, no, thank you.
Thank you, Paula.
- Mom, he's sober.
It's just pot.
So, kiddos, what's the plan? I think I should make some kind of grand entrance, huh? Oh, no, actually, Jordan's just gonna bring him out to us.
Who's she? - He.
Oh, yeah, my buddy Jordan.
He works there.
This is all starting to make sense to me, why I haven't heard from Basil.
Because, you know, they have terrible service out there at the rez.
And they pump those rooms full of oxygen because they want you to lose track of time.
Jordan has service.
But I have gum.
I've got strawberry, I've got bubblegum, I've got spearmint, lemon.
I'll try lemon.
Why do you have so much gum, Mom? Oh.
I met the nicest guy down by the ferry the other day, selling gum out of the trunk of his car.
This is trunk gum! Yeah, best kind.
He was a vet.
I think he was just so grateful to have somebody sit and talk with him.
And I guided him right to the light.
- How much longer? I said, 'Ricardo, baby - Nineteen miles.
you have to bend towards the sun.
' - Nineteen miles.
What do you mean by that, Paula? Well, you know, baby, that's where you get your fire from, is you bend towards the sun and it lights you up inside.
I never thought of it that way.
Can you text him? Tell him we're here.
- Yep.
Mom, remember, we don't know exactly what we're walking into, so let's stay real calm, okay? Hey Oh, my God, he's here! Look! There's his RV! He is here! All right.
Jordan's gonna bring him out those doors any minute now.
You guys should stay put.
Hey, Mom, Mom, what are you doing? Mom! Fuck off! Fuck you! Stop! Don't hurt him.
What the hell, asshole? - Hey, Mom.
I'm doing nothing wrong in there! That dealer's got no fucking sense of humor.
I tell one fucking off-color joke.
I've still got fucking chips on the table.
Get the fuck off me! - Hey! Paula, what are you doing here? You didn't have an accent just now.
You didn't Where's your Australian accent, Basil? - Yeah, yeah.
I'm scared.
That's why my voice is off.
These fucking ogres are terrifying me, babe, I'm so glad you're here.
Are you not Australian? Of course I am.
I'm born in Perth, right? We've been over this a million times.
- Wait, now.
Just tell me the truth.
Okay? Just tell me the truth.
I was born there, yeah.
I just I just exaggerate the accent a little bit, you know.
I just bung it on.
You were so charmed by it.
And I just wanted you Hey, where's her mortgage money? - What money? The money you collected from the tenants.
You didn't pay her mortgage.
Is that what this is about? No, no, no, that's a huge mistake.
Yeah, I paid it.
I called the bank today and spoke to them about Hey.
We know you didn't pay it.
So where is it? Okay, okay.
I can explain, all right? I have a bit of a gambling problem.
Okay, and I've been struggling to stay off the tables.
And I ran up a bit of a debt.
Is the money all gone? - See, that's why I'm back here, you know? I'm trying to make this right.
I'm trying to win it back.
The money's all gone? Yeah.
I'm gonna lose my house.
- I'm so sorry, baby.
That house was my mother's house.
It is the only thing anyone has ever given me in my entire life.
I made it art.
Every room, every wall, was my art gallery.
It is my life.
It is where my best self lives.
You motherfucker.
You motherfucker! I have a problem and I'll get help.
Please don't leave me.
- Oh, fuck you.
Just get my shit out of the RV.
You get the fuck away! Baby! Baby, we're married, okay? I know I'm a piece of shit, but I love Get the fuck off me! I love you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You okay back there, Mom? Told you so.
Told me what? - No, you.
You're dying to say it, so just go ahead and say it.
This isn't a victory for me, Mom.
Yes, it is.
Hey, Nate.
- Hey.
Uh, hope you don't mind me checking on you.
That's very sweet of you, thank you.
Maddy didn't wake up, did she? No, she hasn't made a peep.
You okay? No, yeah, we're okay.
I'll be back.
I'll be back soon.
See you soon.
Thank you.
All right, bye.
Must be nice.
What? - Being you.
Having a bunch of doobies all lined up to please you all hours of the day.
Must be nice.
You don't even have to spread your legs.
They just pant around you anyway.
Stop it, Mom.
You're not mad at me.
- No, I am fucking mad at you! You're taking pleasure in this, I know you are.
You're doing a little dance in your heart right now.
Just about how fucking right you were about Basil! You're gonna go home and write about it in your journal.
'I was right, I was right, I was right.
' Well, congratulations, baby! You were fucking right! Fuck you! Whoa, Paula, pump the brakes.
I wanna go home! All right.
Give me that.
Are you okay? She's fucking fine! I'm fine! We're all fine! I wanna go home! I think I got everything.
The wallet is the most important thing, right? Thanks.
I just wanna go home.
It's all right, Mom.
Can you look up? Sorry? - Can you look up a gas station? There's one in a couple of miles.
Hmm? I'll just make a quick stop.
Hey, do you have any cash? No.
Paula, you don't have cash, do you? She doesn't.
Are we short? No, it's fine, I'll just put five bucks, ought to get us home.
I'll put it on the card.
I've got to pee.
She doesn't mean it, you know, when she goes for your jugular like that.
My mom does the exact same thing to me, and she goes right in with her teeth.
They just know how to do it.
Neither of us do that to Maddy.
No, we don't.
Nobody bites our girl.
What the fuck am I gonna do with her? She has no savings.
No retirement plan.
No insurance.
No job.
No house.
No way to refinance her house, which has been her only source of income for the past ten years.
She just became my full-time problem.
Our problem.
Okay? We'll figure it out.
She's my mom, Sean.
We are not a 'we.
' She's Maddy's grandma.
We are a 'we' on this.
We'll figure it out.
Okay? You're not alone.
Let go of my hand.
You should You should go check on your mom.
Hey, Mom? Mom, you all right in there? She's gone.
She wasn't in there.
- What do you mean? I don't know where the fuck she went.
- Think she hitchhiked? Hey.
Hey, man, did you see a lady walk by here? With like a fur coat? No? Fuck.
I know where she is.
Right, you know? - Fuck me.
Alex! Motherfucker! It's my house! Mom! - It's my house, you Mom, what the fuck? - He changed the locks! Take your hand off.
- He changed the locks.
He's a fucking It's my house! He moved my spare key! - Paula, I need you to He moved my spare key! - What the fuck? Stay inside, man! Stay inside! My birdbath, Sean-y! - Paula, I got this.
It's my This was my mama's house.
- I'm gonna put some pressure on it.
This is my grandmama's house.
Alex, Alex! Call 911! Call 911! - You can't do this! It's my house! It's my house.
It's my house! - Put pressure on it.
Put pressure on it.
It could have been your house.
We have her stabilized.
She cut her flexor tendon, which caused a lot of blood loss.
So we're gonna prep her up for surgery and admit her overnight.
Is there any reason we need to stick around? No, we're just gonna monitor Did you get any of that? She lost a lot of blood, and she cut something called a flexor tendon in her wrist.
Cut it in half, so they're gonna have to do surgery and stitches.
Nod that you hear me.
They're gonna keep her overnight.
And there's really not anything more we can do.
Nate can watch Maddy, right? Alex? All right.
I'm gonna take you home, okay? If you want to get cleaned up.
Ladies first.
Maddy rode a pony today.
What? This morning.
Maddy rode a real, live pony.
She was really, really happy.
My mom's so fucked up.
Hey, it's all right.
It's all right.
It's okay.
We knew that.
Not like this.
She's covered in blood and she's in a psych ward.
She was scary.
The whole thing was really scary.
Do you think that's gonna be me one day? - No.
Do you think I'm gonna scare Maddy like that? No.
Alex, not a chance.
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
- No.
Don't be.
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
It's all Look, if it was my mom I'd probably be crying all over you.
As a matter of fact, I think I snarfed all over you when my mom relapsed.
- Please.
Is this what you want? - Yes.

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