Malibu Rescue (2019) s01e06 Episode Script

With a Little Kelp from My Friends

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] What are we doing here? I don't know.
I can't tell if it's good or bad.
Maybe it's good.
- This is a nightmare.
- It's bad.
[CLEARS THROAT] Based on rescues, reviews, and beach maintenance It kills me to say this, but you are you are [SIGHS] [SOFTLY] tower of the week.
- What? - [MUMBLING] Tower of the week.
- I think he said "towel and sheet.
" - That's not what he said.
It's what I heard.
"Towel and sheet," clear as day.
[SLOWLY] Tower of the week.
[SIGHS] It's like student of the week or employee of the month.
It means you've done the best job.
- [GROUP LAUGHS] - Seriously? I can't believe this.
I thought you didn't like us.
I can't stand you, but the numbers don't lie.
So, do we get a plaque or a star or something? No, you get to come into my office so I can tell you you got tower of the week.
That's all.
Okay, two questions.
Does Brody know? And if not, can I tell him? Two answers.
I don't know, and get out of my office.
What's the matter, G? Don't you know what "get out of my office" means? Um, Garvin I mean, Mr.
Cross.
- I mean, Captain Garvin Cross - Stop.
What do you want? Um [SIGHS] I'm trying to get into Mulholland Swim Academy.
My sister goes there, my parents went there, - and it's kind of a big deal that I go.
- Why are you telling me this? I need a letter of recommendation.
And I figured, since we're tower of the week, I thought If I say yes, you'll get out of my office? Deal.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] All of our hard work is paying off.
And the best part is, we did it together as a team.
It's about time people stopped treating us like crap just 'cause we're from the Valley.
This is huge.
Things are never gonna be the same.
Thanks for the segue, friend.
Speaking of things not being the same There's something I need to tell all of you.
We need to tell all of you.
Spit it out.
We have decided to Give up using straws.
And we hope you'll join us.
It's for the ocean.
Ah! [CRYING] We just keep getting better.
TYLER: Hey, Brody! Guess what? You're gonna love this.
I don't wanna make things weird with the group.
Can we just keep us a secret? Totally.
It's not gonna be easy, though.
I like you so much, and you make me so happy, and every time I'm around you, I wanna hold your hand.
Me, too.
Okay.
How about this? Every time l'm thinking about you, I'll go And I'll tip my imaginary fedora to you.
How about you just do my thing back? Yeah, I look ridiculous in a fedora.
You better have just said, "towel and sheet.
" You know I didn't.
All right, tower of the week.
Yes, captain of the week? When did we get so gross? When we became tower of the week.
Okay.
We need to make sure this beach is kelp-free.
Now, raking the kelp is the easy part.
What stinks is hauling the bins to and from HQ.
So I'm gonna need someone super strong.
[GRUNTS SOFTLY] Uh, you mean those bins over there? Don't worry.
I'm on it.
Works every time.
Eric, can you give him a hand? He's not as strong as he thinks he is.
I'll miss you guys.
Seriously.
We are way grosser than we used to be.
[TYLER GRUNTS] [GROANING LOUDLY, PANTING] Let me give you a hand.
Don't need it, these are light.
Oh [CONTINUES GRUNTING] - [YELPS] - ERIC: What are you doing? - [TYLER SCREAMS] - ERIC: Hey! - ERIC: Get me out of here! - [DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] [WHEELS SQUEAKING] - ERIC: What's going on? Where are we? - Eric, be straight with me.
How bad is it? Not good.
We're locked in! What? No! My hair.
Please tell me it still has its natural sheen and volume.
BRODY: What Tyler? Is that your stupid voice? What's he doing here? [GRUMBLES] Oh! This better not be one of your lame pranks.
Why would I prank myself? Because you're lame.
Do that again, I dare you.
BRODY: Boink! - [TYLER YELLS] - [BRODY SCREAMS] I bet the guys show up the second we're done.
Eric would never do that.
[CHUCKLES] He's sweet and kind wonderful.
[SIGHS] But Tyler's a bad influence, so that could be what's going on.
Looks like Logan could use some help.
Are you serious? Tower One never helps us.
Why should we help them? Because we're not like them.
We're Tower Two, and Tower Two helps people when they need it.
[SHOUTS] Logan! [GIGGLES] Get it? Like Like the fog horn? Sorry, it was a lot funnier in my head.
- What do you want? - Looks like you could use some help.
I'm fine.
[SIGHS] Thanks.
Yeah, I wouldn't need your help if, uh, Dirk and Brody didn't bail on me.
Tyler and Eric ditched us, too.
You think they're hanging out? Brody and Tyler? [LAUGHS] You're right, they'd rather kill each other.
- BRODY: I'm gonna kill you! - [BOTH GROANING] Dude! This fight is weak! - [HORN BLOWS] - TYLER: What is that? - Ow.
- BRODY: Okay.
[CONTINUES PLAYING CONCH SHELL] Dude.
MAN: Welcome to the end of the beginning.
Does he mean the middle? MAN: You have all been chosen to pledge the most sacred society on Malibu Beach.
The Order of the Golden Conch.
Oh! I've never heard of that.
[GASPS, LAUGHS] That's because it's a secret, you knucklehead.
[GASPS] It's Garvin! We don't really have secrets in our house.
Can I tell my mom? No! Oh.
Junior Rescue only accepts the best of the best.
And only the best of the best of the best - are chosen to become Conchs.
- Wait, then what're they doing here? I should take offense to that, but I'm kind of asking myself the same question.
They were just named tower of the week, and it got the Elders' attention, so - [SCOFFS] - As much as it pains me to say it, they made the cut.
Yeah, they did! [CHUCKLES] You've been chosen by the Elders to wear - the sacred necklace.
- [LATCH CLICKS] [GUYS GASP] Oh! Dude.
I live for puka shells.
- Not so fast! - [GASPS] GARVIN: By joining the Order, you'll be welcomed among Malibu's elite.
Power and privilege, beyond your wildest imagination will be yours.
But first you must complete a task that demonstrates your loyalty.
And make it a good one, okay? Something that's really gonna impress me.
- [HOODED MEN CLEAR THEIR THROATS] - Impress us.
TYLER: Dude, If we get in this thing, that means Tower Two is just as good as all the other towers.
Oh, this is the coolest thing I've ever done! - We won't let you down.
- No We won't let you down.
That's what I just said.
Okay, so it's settled, then.
No one's gonna let me down.
Um thanks for helping me.
You didn't have to do that.
Hey, we're all in this together, right? Why're you being so nice to me? I'm always such a jerk to you.
No! [CHUCKLES] Well, yeah, you are.
What's up with that? [GIGGLES] It's just Junior Rescue is a total boys club.
And you are the only girl captain, so I guess I just see you as my competition.
You're mean to me because you're intimidated by me? [LAUGHS] I did not say that.
But it is kind of your fault I don't have a tower.
What're you talking about? I was supposed to be the captain of Tower Three this summer.
So when you took Spencer's tower, he took mine, and I got stuck helping Brody in Tower One.
DYLAN: Garvin gave us that tower.
I mean, if it was supposed to be yours I didn't know.
Well now you do.
[DYLAN SIGHS] You know what? Forget this.
The boys aren't working, and then we're not working.
Are you only saying that 'cause we're already done? Oh, yeah.
I could never quit halfway through a job.
Look, I'm not saying it's a bad idea, Dirk.
I'm just saying there's no way we can build a water slide all the way from Garvin's house to HQ.
- [STAMMERS] - Don't say it, Beans.
You You're always pitching ferrets, and ferrets will always be illegal in California.
Okay.
Come on, Brody.
You're always sucking up to Garvin.
- What does he like? - BRODY: Hey! I'm not always sucking up to Garvin.
But when I was repaving his driveway the other day, I heard him talking about how much he wants to plant fresh begonias in his front yard.
So we should get him flowers! ERIC: Flowers? TYLER: That's Thornton Pavey's car.
BRODY: We're gonna get him roses, but we call them "broses.
" ERIC: Seriously? Well, if we get him flowers, we should definitely get him chocolates.
We're trying to impress him.
Not date him! - [SIGHS] - Guys I think I know what to do.
- [GIRLS GRUNTING] - [GUYS GIGGLE] - GINA: What the - LIZZIE: Wait, what Where have you been? Can't talk now.
Mind if we take this kelp? Thanks, bye.
[GUYS GIGGLE] What was that all about? I don't know.
Wasn't it cute how Eric took charge of the situation? [CHUCKLES] Cute? No, I was talking about Tyler and Brody working together.
Brody and Tyler were here? What's going on with you? Uh, nothing.
We should definitely look into this Brody-Tyler thing, 'cause that's what I'm thinking about.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, Dylan! There you are! You won't believe what just happened.
Tyler and Brody were hanging out.
LIZZIE: And Eric.
Eric was there.
I feel like he never gets the credit he deserves.
Like, they were getting along? Yeah.
They just showed up, took our kelp, and ranoff giggling.
Giggling? Okay, first they bail on us, and now they're bro-ing out? We should spy on them.
- But not because we miss Eric.
- Why would we miss Eric? LIZZIE: I just said we don't.
Gosh, Gina, why're you acting so weird? GINA: Found 'em! Hey! [LAUGHS] What's up? [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] That's Thornton Pavey's limo.
Garvin hates that guy.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] - ERIC: Come on, come on, let's go! - [GUYS LAUGHING] LIZZIE: Wow, they're really shoveling that kelp in there.
Imagine how fast we would've been done if they had just stuck around to help us today.
[GUYS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] Really, Thornton? Kelp in your limo? I don't know how that could possibly happen.
Yeah, I will definitely keep an eye out.
For sure.
Uh-huh.
- Yeah, you too.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
- [PHONE BEEPS] Man, I hate that guy! Nice work.
[GUYS SIGH] Color me impressed.
Yes! We are so in.
Hold on.
You're not Conchs yet.
- BRODY: Mmm? - This is the Book of Secrets.
You'll proveyour devotion by inscribing your deepest, most embarrassing secrets, into these pages.
It'll bond us as brothers.
Ooh, ooh, can I go first? I got a secret - I've been dying to tell somebody.
- Uh, I It also acts as an insurance policy.
In case any of you break our trust we'll reveal your secrets.
To who? Everyone.
Okay, Spencer, you're next.
Jump right in there.
Give me a real juicy one.
All right, I'm gonna get a drink.
Anybody want something? Uh, all right, okay, cool.
Yo, Vooch! Brother! - Can I get seven soda [SCREAMS] - [THUDS] What's going on? We're asking the questions here.
Yeah! What's going on? We saw you guys today.
We know you're up to something.
Logan? What is she doing here? A lot has happened while you were gone.
Friendships were forged in the flames of sisterhood.
Take it easy.
We just hung out.
And you, quit avoiding the question! What're you up to? - We're not up to anything.
- Wrong.
Let's try again.
[LIQUID SLOSHES] LIZZIE: And I encourage you to think long and hard about how much chili you want in your hair before you answer.
Okay, calm down, there's no need to threaten the hair.
Okay, Garvin asked me and Eric to join a a a super cool club.
With Brody, Spencer, Dirk, and Beans? Yeah, we're all friends now.
GINA: Oh I get it.
You and your little boys club get to run around and have fun all day, while we're stuck here working.
It's not a boys club, okay? It's for people in the best towers.
We're in the same tower.
Why weren't we asked to join? I don't know.
Wait, why weren't you asked to join? 'Cause it's a boys club.
Typical Junior Rescue.
Garvin giving the boys whatever they want.
That's not true, okay? Ask any of us.
Me, Eric, Brody, Spencer, Dirk, Beans.
You didn't mention any girls.
Yeah, 'cause it's all guys.
It's all guys.
That's not right.
How did I not see it? 'Cause it doesn't affect you.
Okay, well, now I see it.
How're you guys not madder about this? We gotta do something.
We gotta fight sexism! What? Sexism? It's where you're discriminated against because of your gender.
Come on, guys, get woke.
Everybody out.
I'm murdering him.
All right.
So we're gonna meet at the cove at 5:30 tonight.
Garvin said to not be late.
Somebody tell Tyler.
Seriously.
Where is that kid? Probably in the bathroom.
That's generally how it goes.
Vooch's, then bathroom.
My dad says that's why they call it fast food.
[LAUGHS] Tell your dad he's hilarious.
Let's go, guys.
Psst! Eric.
Come here.
- Where have you been? - TYLER: The girls kidnapped me.
Turns out the Golden Conchs is a sexist boys club.
What're you talking about? The Golden Conch is just a bunch of cool dudes, hanging out, doing cool dude stuff together.
Oh.
I hear it now.
See? We gotta take it down.
If they want Tower Two, then they have to take all of us.
Not just the boys.
Well, well, well.
Man, I knew it was a mistake for the Elders to let Valley rats into an elite Malibu club.
The Order of the Golden Conch is going down.
Nuh-uh, it's not going anywhere.
'Cause if you try anything, we'll tell all your embarrassing secrets.
You'll be humiliated.
Fine.
Go ahead.
Tell our secrets, we don't care.
- Right, Eric? Come on.
- Actually I think I'm gonna go with these guys.
What? Oh, Eric! Yes! [GRUNTS] I guess he knows who his real friends are, huh? [IMITATES ENGINE REVVING] Come on, Eric.
Let's get ready for the ceremony.
LIZZIE: How could Eric do this? It's like I don't even know him.
I never wanna see his face again.
Why is she making this all about her? He's my best friend.
[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] [BLOWING CONCH] Welcome, Brothers.
The winds of Malibu blow strong today, for you are about to become members of the Golden Conch.
Step forward.
By accepting this necklace, you swear your loyalty to the Golden Conch and take your rightful place amongst Malibu's future elite.
Brother Beans.
Brother Dirk.
- Brother - I'm not your brother.
GARVIN: Brody said you betrayed us.
- What do you think you're doing here? - I'm putting an end to this.
- Oh, Valley, you're gonna regret this.
- Hold on.
We have better ways of handling traitors.
Eric.
Read his secrets.
You're gonna regret this.
DYLAN: Eric, stop! Don't do it! What're they doing here? All right, who told? - I did.
Obviously, I did.
- Take him down.
GINA: Eric, no! You're better than this.
Eric? Aardvark Cupcakes.
310-555-0121.
Aaron's Dumpling House.
310-555-0184.
- Aasvogel Carpet Cleaning - [SHOUTS] - What is this? It's a phone book! - [CHUCKLES] That's right.
I ripped the pages out of the Book of Secrets and replaced them with the Malibu phone book, which was pretty hard to find.
What? How? Well I started at the gas station on Decker Road.
They told me people just use Google now.
Where are my secrets? Oh! You mean these? [SCREAMS] - [LAUGHS] - Why would you do that? Because this whole thing is outdated, unfair, and it shouldn't exist.
The Brotherhood of The Conch has been around since before your time.
Well, it's time for things to change.
Yeah.
Mm.
Okay, that's the way it is, huh? You're no longer tower of the week.
I'm taking that away.
I could do that.
Oh.
man.
I could almost taste the puka.
[ALL LAUGHING] BRODY: Man, I hope you're happy.
You two just ruined the coolest club in Malibu.
They didn't do it alone.
- We all brought it down together.
- Yeah, we did.
Fine, you all ruined it.
I can't believe you, Logan.
I'd expect it from these idiots, but you're my right-hand guy.
I'm not a guy.
You know what I mean! I hope we didn't make it worse for you.
It was worth it.
You were incredible out there.
Yeah? I knew the only way to take out the Golden Conch was from the inside.
You brought down an age-old institution and fought for gender equality.
You're a hero.
Also, I kind of, sort of, maybe, might have written about us in that book.
And I know you weren't ready to tell anyone.
You toppled the patriarchy for me? [GASPS] Hey, Eric, Lizzie.
- You guys coming along or - Just checking her pulse.
[CHUCKLES] She's good.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Keys.
Where are my keys? In the robe.
[YELPS] What are you guys doing here? You're firing me? Oh, come on! I know tonight didn't go as well as Not the puka.
No! [CRUNCHES]