Men at Work (2012) s02e08 Episode Script

The Gibbs-Orcism

1 [ Sighs ] Tyler, don't worry.
I'm sure I'm gonna like your friends.
Of course you will.
They're great guys.
They're just a little immature.
What are we talking about here? Are they gonna order off the kids' menu? No, they're grownups.
Butactually, yes.
[ Chuckles ] They just think it's funny to tease me for being Pretty Pretty What? Just pretty.
[ Chuckles ] They're probably just jealous.
That would explain all the cruel nicknames.
- Like Tyler Swift? - Yep.
- Tyley Cyrus? - Heard it.
Teidi Klum? They're gonna love you.
- What's her name again? - R-something, right? UhRon.
Don't think it's Ron.
I wasn't done.
It's, uhRonAld.
Don't think it's Ronald.
You know what? We probably don't need to learn her name.
Knowing Tyler, she's not gonna be around for very long.
I don't know, man.
Tyler's been seeing her for a few weeks.
This could be the one.
[ Both laugh ] Rachel! Rachel! Milo: That's the girl I met the night Lisa broke up with me.
We had a real connection.
Will you be my rebound ass? Okay! Okay.
Okay! Right, and when that didn't work, I had sex with her and her friend.
I don't remember that.
Now I'm gonna go join them.
Gibbs: Oh, well, come and knock on my door! Oh, I do remember that.
Look, Tyler is our friend, we're all grown-ups.
So we'll just go in there and meet his new girlfriend.
Who you had a threesome with.
Before they met.
It's ancient history.
This won't be awkward at all.
Because we're grown-ups.
- Right.
- Right.
Where the hell were you guys? Us? Uhwhere the hell were you? Yeah! Where were you? What? Rachel and I were waiting for you guys at the diner for, like, an hour.
- The diner?! - The diner?! But you said to meet you at - The - Wine store.
- Wine store.
- Yeah.
Which, you know, sounds a lot like "diner.
" Wait.
Did you just say diner or wine store? See? Why would I say to meet for breakfast at the wine store? 'Cause your girlfriend's a hobo? We don't know! We just went to the place you definitely told us to go.
And we stayed there like idiots, waiting for you to show up.
Why didn't you just text me? Yeah.
Why didn't we do that? Because we were mad.
- And hurt.
- Oh, so hurt.
And disappointed.
[ Sighs ] So disappointed Because I mean, we just we really, really wanted to meet Rachel.
I wanted you guys to meet her, too.
Well, some other time.
No need to lock it down now.
Uh, we'll figure it out.
Tyler, you left your laptop at my place.
Oh, thanks.
I knew I'd forgotten it.
Rachel, this is Milo and Gibbs.
I swear to you I have friends.
And so that's why we happened to run away right as you walked in.
But if you thought we were in danger, why didn't you take us with you? There's a lot of things we wish we had done differently.
The important thing is we're all safe.
[ Both grunt ] Okay, um Well, I got to take this to the art department.
Don't gang up on her.
You remember us, right? Oh, yeah.
You more than him.
Right, 'cause you guys And that other girl.
[ Sighs deeply ] Hi, by the way.
How you been? - What are you doing? - I don't know.
I don't know how to handle this.
Um, listen, we all care about Tyler, so maybe the best thing is to just come clean, right? Absolutely, we should tell him the truth.
Unless we don'ttell him the truth.
I'm listening.
Well, what happened between you two And that other girl Was a one-time thing, right? It's not like there was any follow-up or any kind of emotional connection.
I mean, I barely remembered you.
I never even knew your name! [ Laughs ] It's Gibbs! See, you guys barely remember each other, so isn't it on some level wrong to tell Tyler what happened? I see what you mean.
By telling him the truth, we would actually be hurting him for no reason.
And I, for one, don't want to hurt my friend with honesty.
So, just to be clear We hide the truth from Tyler for the rest of our lives.
Tyler is lucky to have such awesome friends.
Up top.
Okay, loving this.
I knew you guys would get along.
How great is she? Super.
Never met her before.
What is all this? Oh, this? Just the beginning of an amazing anniversary week.
Oh, honey, this looks incredible, but what about the Don't say it.
- There's no curse.
- Yes, there is.
I know we don't have the greatest anniversary track record.
Neal, we were banned from the Vatican last year.
I still believe the Italian phrases for "one large pizza" and "death to the pope" are way too similar.
What about the safari incident the year before? So there's one less leopard because of me.
Big deal.
There is no curse, and we are gonna have the best anniversary we've ever had.
I'm taking you on a culinary trip down memory lane.
Lobster tails and white asparagus from our first date.
Paella and jamón from our trip to Barcelona.
Aww! And the genius of this is that we don't even have to leave the comfort of our own apartment.
That genius because if we're in a controlled environment, the curse can't find us.
[ Rattling ] It found us.
I feel so bad about this.
I got to give Tyler something.
So, which scarf do you think he'd like? This one or this one? Gibbs, you got to get past this.
That one.
I can't get past it.
And I think this one.
He's an autumn.
You got to stop feeling guilty, okay? I promise you He has no idea.
You had a three-way, right? UhWhat? I noticed your bulb was out.
It was a three-way, right? Dude, you totally ruined "My Girl"! Tyler No.
No, no, no.
It's not like that.
It was over a year ago I don't care when it was! Rachel and I were watching "My Girl" the other night, and I remembered you saying Macaulay Culkin died at the end.
You totally ruined it.
Look at him over there.
I can't take it anymore.
Gibbs, we're doing what's best for Tyler, okay? You've got to be strong.
I don't think I can.
Yes, you can.
Hey, what's a five-letter word for a bad friend that betrays you? "Gibbs"! It's "Gibbs"! I slept with Rachel! It was a threesome! I don't even remember the other girl's name, but she was a real team player.
You could also try "Judas.
" It's five letters.
So, we all agreed not telling you was a good thing.
But Rachel did not want to lie to you.
So if you're gonna be mad at anyoneIt's us.
[ Sighs ] Guys It was more Gibbs.
- What?! - Sorry.
But come on.
Look, guys, I'm not upset.
Really? You're not? I get why you didn't tell me, and I don't think you're bad friends, but overlaps happen It's a part of life.
Wow, "T," that is very cool of you.
Extremely cool.
Because if it was me, I'd be going out of my mind.
Thinking about him and her - And her.
- Milo! Sorry.
But come on.
So the food should stay fresh for another day? Oh, that's great news.
Oh, hey, honey.
I'm just on the phone with Dan.
He's a customer-service supervisor at the fridge company.
It only took me two hours to get through to him.
Neal, I love that you're trying, but it's not gonna work.
We're cursed.
If we were cursed, we wouldn't be getting a service appointment from Dan.
I'd call us blessed.
Oh, what's that, Dan? I'd love to tell you my address.
It's 120 East Hello? Hello? Dan? Dropped the call? No, um, Dan just went to get a pen to write down the address.
[ Chuckles ] He's back.
- No, he's not.
- No, he's not.
Rachel: I'm just so impressed with how cool you're being about all this.
What? It was before we met.
So, are you gonna tell me what the surprise is? Almost done.
You'll see in a second.
Okay, well you've been in my bathroom for 10 minutes, so I'm really hoping it's an outfit.
What do you think? I think it was worth the wait.
Thanks for being so understanding.
[ Rachel's voice ] Are you okay? Huh? Sure.
Then take this off.
So it was my body, but her voice? Yes.
Did it ever go back to her body? Or my body? No.
Why would it be your body? I don't know.
It just seems funny.
Okay, I have a major problem.
Really? 'Cause Gibbs was in a three-way with my girlfriend last year, so now every time I try to kiss her, I see him wearing her underwear.
I just have a broken fridge.
So Let's talk about you.
Guys, what is wrong with me? Overlaps happen.
It's not a big deal.
You know, this reminds me of when I had a three-pack-a-day habit.
And I tried everything.
Hypnosis, going cold Turkey Nothing worked.
Wait, when were you a smoker? No, no, not cigarettes "Magic: The gathering" cards.
It was crazy addictive.
Am I right? We have no idea what you're talking about.
Anyway, my therapist gave me a mantra so I could conquer my addiction.
Once you figure out the root of your problem and say it out loud, it'll go away.
So in your case, you would repeat something like, "my best friend, Gibbs, had a threesome "with my current girlfriend, "and every time I try and kiss her, I see him wearing her underwear.
" Seems kind of long to repeat.
Yeah, what about just, "there is no Gibbs"? Ooh.
I like that.
There you go, Gibbs.
We're gonna have to start calling you "the mantra man.
" Wait a second.
That was my idea.
No, pretty sure it was the mantra man.
No, honey, the service guy hasn't shown up yet.
He'll be here.
He'll be here.
Four hours late does not mean there's a curse.
It just means there's traffic.
Sweetie, I got to go.
[ Door closes ] [ Knock on door ] Man: Service! Service! Neil: Oh.
Just a minute! [ Louder knock on door ] Service! Hold on! I'm mid-stream! Don't leave! Don't leave! Oh, come on! Wait! I'm right "Please call to reschedule your service appointment.
" We're cursed.
Rachel: Tyler, you okay? Is it your stomach again? No.
I'm fine.
I think.
I'll be right out.
There is no Gibbs.
There is no Gibbs.
[ Rachel's voice ] Don't be shy.
Come on over.
I'm good right here.
- What are you doing? - Reading.
Why? There's a tv right there.
Tyler, what do you need? I need your help with Rachel.
The mantra didn't work.
I still just see Gibbs Almost all of him.
Why don't you turn off the lights? Got it.
Not in here.
Look, you know it's Rachel in there, but your eyes are playing tricks on you, so take your eyes out of the equation.
Just turn off the lights.
You're a genius.
Tyler! Sorry.
Where did you even get that thing? [ Sighs ] [ Rachel's voice ] About time.
I was getting lonely in here.
Well, I'm back.
First, to set the mood, I'm just gonna turn off every single light.
[ Switch clicks ] [ Switch clicks ] [ Switch clicks ] [ Switch clicks ] Tyler: Wow.
It really is dark in here.
There's the bed.
And there you are.
That is definitely you.
[ Gibbs' voice ] Who were you expecting? [ Gibbs' voice ] What's the matter? I don't know.
Would it help if I talked dirty to you? I guarantee that it wouldn't.
That's it.
I have to break up with her.
But I gave you that awesome lights-out thing.
Yeah, thanks for nothing, book guy.
You're messed up, man.
You may need to talk to someone even smarter than Milo.
Good luck finding another Near East studies major who cares about this bullshit.
I shouldn't need a team of people curing me.
And I don't want to be in a relationship if every time I try to kiss her, it feels like I'm kissing Gibbs.
Does it feel like this? Boom.
What the hell was that? Yeah, I'm kind of curious about this one, too.
That was a "Gibbs-orcism.
" Now you know the difference between kissing Rachel and kissing me.
That wasn't the problem.
And now I have a whole new problem Which is my mouth feels weird, and I can't make eye contact with you.
Tyler, overlaps happen.
You said so yourself.
So what's different about Rachel? Man, I don't know.
I mean, she's funny.
She's smart.
She thinks I'm great even when I know I'm not.
And I just want to be with her all the time.
Oh, my God.
I really like her.
I've never heard you say that about a person.
Cashmere sweater, sure, but [ Sighs ] Maybe because you like her, the idea of her overlapping with someone upsets you.
So, maybe if you say that out loud to her, it might help you get over it.
You think so? I do.
And so would my thesis advisor, Professor Shin.
And my kiss triggered this whole conversation.
And now you're fixed.
Thus ends another successful "Gibbs-orcism.
" I think this is yours.
Keep it.
My man.
[ Keys jingle ] Hey, hon.
[ Raps table ] You okay? Yep.
I just had three or seven beers.
Once you give into the curse, it's not so bad.
Honey, it is just one day.
We are gonna have so many more anniversaries.
Will we? Or is it a sign? Is our whole relationship cursed? No, it's not.
And I'm going to prove it.
This is incredible.
I can't believe you were able to make all this.
Well, a lot of things are gonna taste the same, because they were cooked in the same pan.
At the same time.
This is amazing.
It looks like a pancake Tastes like a halibut.
[ Chuckles ] See, honey? Our relationship is safe and sound.
Happy anniversary.
Suck it, curse.
Sorry, curse! So, I really need to tell you something.
Is this about your cashmere sweater again? 'Cause I know you like it.
It's like wearing a burgundy cloud, but no.
What I need to say to you, out loud, is that I really like you.
Yeah? 'Cause you've been acting pretty weird lately.
I know.
And I think that's why Because I really like you.
And I'm hoping that now that I've said it out loud Hang on a sec.
Say something.
Like what? Perfect.
[ Chuckles ] Are you all right? Yeah, I'll tell you in a minute.
Take your shirt off.
You know, there is an outfit that we did not take full advantage of the other night.
Well, I would very much like a chance to take full advantage of it now.
Wait right here.
Just take me one sec.
What do you think? No.
No! No! No! No! I really like her.
I really like her.
I really like her.
Maybe I'm more your speed.
You know you want this.
I hate all of you equally.
[ Laughter ] [ Sighs ] Now, it just feels weird.