Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

Food & Drink

[dramatic bagpipe and drum
music plays]

[Sam] Scotland
[sprightly music plays]
it's an ancient land
with incredible history
and tradition

[man yells]
[both] Yeah!
[Sam] and battlefields.

[Graham] It is a land of dark
one-of-a-kind music

delicious bounty,
and some of the warmest,
most welcoming people
in the world.

[Graham] A land
that is cut through
with lochs and rivers
and valleys and mountains
that altogether weave, like,
some kind of tartan kilt.
Oh, I knew you were
gonna go there.
That was beautiful.
Into a beautiful fabric
which is called

[rain pattering]
[engine turning over]
[engine revving]
-[Sam] On the road.
-[Graham] It's happening.
Finally, we are on the road,
Born in the crucible
of our imagination,
we have finally manifested
A TV show.
Men in Kilts.
-Men in
a Roadtrip
with Sam and Graham.
[bright guitar music plays]
Let the roadtrip begin, Sam.
I think we need
to bless the van.
[Sam] Bless this van.
[Graham] We love you, van.
I've given you maps to eat.
Please look after us.
Be good to us.
Because we're going on the trip
of a lifetime.
[dramatic music plays]
[Dougal] Have you no welcome
for your beloved uncle?
Dougal! Ah!
You know, we were lucky enough
to work together on a show
-You look well, lad.
You are the interloping nephew
that is just a bit of a
James Alexander
Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser.
[soft music plays]
Well, if you two
are quite finished.
[Graham] I am the war chief.
You can call me MacKenzie
iffen it please you.
But if we're being formal,
you can call me
Chief MacKenzie.
[tense music plays]
Well, I don't know
about the rest of you,
but I failed to understand
a single word
the creature said.
I love Scotland,
and I've spent a lot of time
here, obviously,
shooting Outlander
and, along that period,
have seen
some amazing locations,
incredible places,
experienced some great things,
and I kind of wanted
to share it with everyone.
Yeah, I feel that too.
And I think that you and I,
well, we've got the same
thirst for adventure
as our characters.
I have been waiting for the day
when we would fight together
on the same side
for Scotland.
[Graham] The Outlander
is a wonderful show,
but what is portrayed
in the show
is truthful in-in many ways.
-But it is still--
Time travel is truthful.
Yeah, I wasn't
necessarily thinking
-of the time travel bit, but
um, the truth about Scotland
is so much more interesting,
I think,
and more exciting than anything
that could be portrayed
in any fiction.
[Graham] For example,
we didn't really
tap into the more, well,
distinguished portion
of our palate.
Quite the appetite.
I should think you'd eat grass
if there was nothing else.
I have.
Doesna taste bad,
but it's not very filling.
[Sam] But in Scotland,
the food is actually
quite glorious.
The national dish is haggis,
a savory meat pudding
with a sheep's heart, liver,
and lungs
traditionally cooked
while encased
in the animal's stomach.
though not for everyone.
[Graham] But Scotland's cuisine
doesn't stop with haggis.
The country's
highland landscapes
and clear coastal waters
are fertile ground
for everything
from Angus beef
and Ayrshire potatoes
to mouth-watering salmon,
oysters, and langoustine.
[lively music plays]
[Sam] Our roadtrip
therefore begins
with a tour of Scottish food
and drink.
First stop: the capital city
of Edinburgh.
This is where I grew up
as a teenager.
In recent years, though,
Edinburgh has become renowned
for its fine food scene
and is home to four
MICHELIN-starred restaurants.
And here is one
of the greatest restaurants
arguably in Scotland
and in the UK, The Kitchin.
Tom Kitchin is gonna make you
your first meal.
-Hello, sir. How you doing?
-[Sam] How you doing?
-[Graham] Hello.
-What is that?
[Tom] This is a halibut,
a whale halibut.
I mean, it's one
of the best fish
-we have here in Scotland.
-[Graham] Ah.
And then we got some beautiful
scallops from Orkney.
And each one of these
has been hand--
You take a knife, don't you,
and you--
[Tom] Well, literally,
we just take the spoon
in the top there
and then off the scallop bit.
-[Sam] Oh-ho-ho-ho, wow.
-[Tom] It's beautifully fresh.
[Tom] And some lobsters just in
from Newhaven down the road
which are just sensational.
So these are-these are local.
-These are--
-[Tom] Yeah, these are local.
These were swimming
this morning,
so when you were still having
your breakfast.
And it comes in fresh
every day.
That's what we're all about
here at the restaurant.
I'm hungry. I'm salivating.
This man is always hungry.
-I don't like sharing.
[Tom laughs]
[soft music plays]

[Graham] Oh, yes.
-Oh, wow.
Look at that.
[Tom] So we got a real taste
of what's good in Scotland,
-Oh, it smells delicious.
[Tom] So the scallop here
is really interesting.
It's what we call the scallop
baked in the shell.
For the magic moment,
we twist
-[Graham] Oh, wow.
-[Sam] Oh, no!
[Tom] the shell.
Stop it.
And then you can see
the beautiful scallops
are baked inside the shell.
I'm gonna start crying.
This dish, I can't take it
off the menu.
Every time I take it
off the menu, people complain.
Please don't take it
off the menu.
[Sam] Well, Scotland has,
you know, incredible produce,
like, from-from seafood to--
-It's not just haggis, is it?
You know, we have all this
great seafood, and actually,
we don't celebrate it enough.
Oh, no, but honestly,
the Larder is the envy
of the world.
You know, as a young chef,
I went to work
in three-star
MICHELIN restaurants in Paris,
and the first thing
the chef would talk about
is the lobsters,
the langoustine,
the grouse, the beef, you know.
[Graham] Really?
Everyone knows
about our wonderful Larder.
-[Sam] Mm.
-And it's great now that people
are coming and really
we can showcase it.
-My God.
-I'm actually quite jealous.
-The scallops--
Here-here we go.
I'm gonna dig
into the lobster here.
Oh, this is amazing.
You enjoying that?
[Graham] It's amazing.
Mmm! Oh!
-Yes, I know. Yes.
-So creamy, so light.
[Tom] We got the lamb
with courgette.
Now, these are
courgette flowers,
which is really exciting
for a chef, by the way.
But inside
the courgette flower,
we actually have the braised
lamb shoulder as well.
So tuck in, boys.
-It's amazing.
-Oh, it's remarkable.
Really fragrant.
Oh, I've got to take a bit
of the sauce here.
-Here we go. Mmm.
My taste buds don't know
what's happening to them.
-It's just
[Sam] Wow.
I could stay here all day.
Are we not staying here all day?
I'm afraid we do have
to hit the road.
Mm, no, actually,
I'm gonna have a bit.
Get-get off!
Wow, you're literally pushing
all my buttons now.
[Sam] It's time to leave
the comforts of the big city
and go see Scotland's
coastal bounty for ourselves.
[Graham] My taste buds
are still dancing
from my-my experience
with Tom Kitchin.
Yeah, it was kind of
a religious experience for you,
-wasn't it?
-A little bit.
Do you think
when he grew up
with that name
I mean, he wouldn't become,
like, a postman.
It's like if he'd been called,
you know, Tom Accountant.
-He would have--
-Become a plumber.
But now
Now we head to fish.
We-we do head to fish.
-It's not a place.
It's an activity.
The things that we're
fishing for are
Compliments, mostly,
about my driving.
[laughs] Very good.
[Sam] We're actually headed
to the Kingdom of Fife,
a peninsula on the east coast
of Scotland
that is home to five
quaint fishing villages.
Our final destination
is Pittenweem,
the most active
of the five ports
and, perhaps
more interestingly,
home of the first band member
to be kicked out
of the Rolling Stones.
Uh, but anyway,
95% of what is caught here
gets exported
to other countries.
And we're gonna head out
to catch
some of that shellfish
for our dinner tonight.
[boat motor rumbling]
I do feel I should have got
a bigger size pair of gloves.
I think they were really-that's
a really good fit for you.
-Child's gloves.
-It's a-it's a child's large.
That's it, keep going.
I don't know what I'm doing,
I'll pretend.
[nautical fiddle music plays]
We're here with Captain Kirk
on board the Charisma.
What is it you love
about fishing?
The freedom and the thrill.
Every day is a school day.
I mean, there's never two days
the same at this job.
[Sam] Oh, the birds
are going crazy.
[Kirk] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Sam] I think we might have
Oh, it's coming in.
I think we've got something.
-Ah, wow.
-[Sam laughs]
-[Graham] Look at it.
-[Sam] It's full.
It is bursting full of prawns.
Come on, Captain.
-Here we go, guys.
-Here we go.
[Kirk] It's kicking.
Here they're all coming out.
Oh, my word. Look at that.
[Graham] Oh, my God.
Wow, there's langoustines
and a lobster.
Hey, buddy, get over here.
-[Graham] Oh-ho-ho-ho!
There's prawns. There's fish.
Well, there's so much seafood
[Graham] There's so much.
[Kirk] There's a nice one.
[Sam] Oh, wow, look at him.
You know, Scotland has,
obviously, amazing seafood.
You can see it right here.
You know, there's
a real bounty here.
But where does that go?
Does it--
A lot of it's destined
for abroad.
A lot goes to Spain, France.
Some of
the better-quality stuff
-goes to local restaurants.
-[Graham] Yup.
[Sam] And how much
would they go for?
Anywhere about £100, £120
a box,
20 kilos, 25 kilos or so.
-[Sam] Oh, hi, bud.
-[Graham] Wow, look at that.
[Sam] Would you keep him,
or you throw him out?
[Kirk] No, he's too small.
He'll live to fight
another day.
[Sam] Well, let's let him go,
shall we?
[Graham] There you go.
[Kirk] We're always looking
to keep it sustainable,
so all the small kind of stuff,
I try to put back.
[Graham] Yeah.
'Cause if you just keep taking
and taking and taking,
then the stuff's just gonna get
smaller and smaller.
[Sam] Oh, my God, what is that?
That's disgusting.
-[Graham] Ugh.
-Oh, I'm not hungry anymore.
-[Graham] Mmm.
-Do you want to keep this one?
No! Stop it.
-Come on, just take--
[Sam] Take it for later.
[Graham] Just-just put it
over the side.
[water splashes]
Well, thank you very much
for taking us out.
-I-I-I'm excited to, uh--
-[Graham] Eat them.
To try-to try
some of you guys.
You look, uh, delicious.
No, you don't have to say it
to them, you know.
-I know. Sorry.
-You could've kept that quiet.
So thank you for having us,
Captain Kirk.
[Kirk] No, it's been-
it's been our pleasure.
If you could take us back
to shore, that would be great.
-Make it so.
-[Kirk] Let's go.
You've been-you--
-"Make it so," seriously?
-[Kirk laughs]
Have you been waiting all day
to say that?
Yeah, I love Star Trek.

[Graham] With enough seafood
to cater a small
royal wedding,
we headed back to shore,
where a very special guest
was waiting to help us eat it.

Well, we're here with one
of Scotland's premier chefs,
-Tony Singh.
-[Tony] Aye.
With some beautiful bounty
I see youse got from the ships
this morning.
We just caught these fresh
lobster and-and langoustine
which look beautiful,
don't they?
[Tony] Scottish lobsters
are the best,
the langoustines as well.
We've got
some fantastic seaweed.
[Sam] You literally
just pulled it
out of the sea here
down the road, so
Yeah, do a fantastic
seaweed butter with that.
Graham, if you want to keep
creaming that together.
And we're gonna be putting
some basic things,
'cause you don't want to mask
the flavor of the langoustine.
We're just gonna put a little
bit of garlic in there,
some lime juice.
[Sam] What do you think
of our impromptu, uh,
kitchen we have here?
I am so impressed.
I'm really impressed
with the charcoal stove
that you've got going on here.
Thank you.
We built it ourselves.
[Tony] Mm.
Sam, if you can get
that mortar and pestle,
we've got a little bit
of coriander seeds,
'cause coriander adds
that lemony fragrance to it
and a bit of texture as well.
[Graham] I'm loving this.
We should do a cooking program.
All we-all we've done
is cream some butter
and grind some coriander.
It's not exactly
MICHELIN-starred stuff.
All right, this is going
in the butter as well.
-Yeah, okay.
-Try to not get it on you.
Little bit--[coughing]
Yeah. Huh.
And then the seaweed.
And now what we're gonna do is
get the sauce on
for the lobster.
[Sam] Mmm.
[Tony] Extra-virgin
rapeseed oil.
Garlic goes in.
[Sam] Oh, yes. Don't be shy.
I'm not kissing anyone today.
In goes the garlic.
Local tomatoes
that have just been chopped.
[Graham] Mm-hmm.
-[Tony] Chili powder.
-[Sam] Chili powder.
And then some garam masala.
So garammeans "warm"
in Punjabi,
-so it's warm and spicy.
-[Graham] Mmm.
[Tony] So while that's
cooking out
[Sam] Oh, that smells great
already, doesn't it?
-Doesn't it?
we're going to, uh,
send these to Valhalla.
-Ah. right.
Okay, I don't--
I'm-I'm just gonna--
We will, um
I might look away
at this point.
Well, let's go over here
and, uh,
talk amongst ourselves.
For those that are going
to get cooked, we salute you.
-[Sam] Yes, we'll just, um--
-[Graham] I'm just gonna look--
hey, look at that-look at
that view.
Oh, look, is that a dolphin
over there?
Wow. That's a seagull.
Oh. There's a seal, look,
Ah, yes.
Beautiful. So beautiful.
Oh, that's so nice.
-Oh, that's the sound.
-Puffins as well.
That's a lot of sound
in the background there.
-Is he finished yet?
[Tony] Could you give that
a stir, please?
Oh, yes, I could do that
for you.
-Thank you.
-Where's your stirrer?
Where's your stirrer?
Oh, there it is.
-Stirrer is there.
-I'm on it.
Okay, we're going in with, uh,
the lobster now?
[Tony] Yes, please. Thank you.
I'll just whang it in,
as you say.
Whang it in, as they say.
[Sam] Culinary term.
[Tony] And we'll
the langoustines
straight on it there.
[Sam] You're just gonna
put them straight on the grill.
[Tony] Straight on.
Are you busy for the next
couple weeks, Tony?
'Cause we could take you, uh,
in the back of the--
I can come along.
You just give me a shout,
I'll come.
I'll be like Batman.
You fire up the signal.
What would the signal be?
-I dread to-I dread to think--
-A langoustine.
-A big langoustine.
-[both] Yeah.
[Tony] So that's it.
Just cooked there.
[Sam] Are you putting
our seaweed chili butter on--
-On top.
So what we'll do is,
once you peel them,
just dip it in the butter.
You know what I mean?
It's a hard life.
-It's a hard life.
-Oh, this is awful.
[soft music plays]
Oh, my God.
[Sam] It's sweet.
And you taste the sea.
It's meaty.
[Tony] You've got lobster
There you go.
I'm-I'm--is that for me?
I'm going-I'm going in.
Look at that. That's terrific.
It's dripping
with the sauce here.
I'm-I'm just gonna go for it.

[Tony] We've done them proud.
And these are langoustines.
-Mmm! [chuckles]
-[Tony] Just done.
Thank you, sir.
[Graham] It's absolutely
-You make it look easy.
-[Sam] Mm.
But th-this is special.
Couldn't have done it
without youse.
-Well, thanks.
You probably could have,
to be honest.
In fact, you did.
[jaunty music plays]

[Graham] I'm very full now.
-Are you?
-Yeah, I am. I--
Because, well,
we've been eating a lot.
I think we've eaten enough.
I think it's time to drink.
Not surprisingly,
the national drink of Scotland
is whisky.
There are more
than 100 distilleries
currently operating
in Scotland,
giving the locals
and the tourists
ample opportunity
to share a wee dram.
But that popularity
doesn't end at the border.
Whisky is the fifth-largest
export in the UK economy,
with an average
of 40 bottles of the stuff
shipped overseas every second.
And yeah, we're sad
to see them go.
[bright music plays]
Just-just a question.
-You don't need to answer it.
Um, would you say that you are
somewhat prone
to overindulgence?
[sprightly music plays]


Gabh deoch.
I mean, it's daylight.

The sun is out.

-It's pretty early.
Hair of the dog.
You are basically
a raging boozehound.
I think I may need
the whole hound.
Well thank you very much.
[Sam] To get a taste
of Scotland's
signature spirit,
we're headed to Islay,
a small island
along the west coast.
Islay became a popular place
for making whisky
centuries ago.
thanks to its shipping access
to nearby Ireland
and North America beyond.
Ten distilleries
on this small island
produce smoky whiskies
along a rugged landscape.
'Cause you know a lot
about whisky, don't you?
-You're not-you--
-I may have had one or two.
I-I used to think
you were bluffing,
but actually,
you really do know.
I bluff. I bluff.
-You actually know.
We are actors, right,
so we generally lie a lot.
I mean, a few of my--
I-I remember, you know,
horse riding:
-"Oh, yeah, I can do that."
"Of course."
My entire career pretending
that I can ride a horse.
-Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Anything that they say in
the audition, "Can you do it?"
you're like, "Yes, yes,
of course I can.
I grew up on a farm
and was born in the saddle."
For this episode, I was born
at a distillery, right?
And as I was saying,
Islay whisky
draws its flavor
from the environment itself.
You see, the main ingredient
in malt whisky
is malted barley,
fermented in giant
distilling tanks.
The clear alcoholic product
is captured and aged
in oak barrels,
sometimes for decades,
which give it the final
amber hue we're familiar with.
Before fermenting, though,
the barley must be
thoroughly dried.
[dramatic music plays]
Distilleries on Islay do this
by burning a fossil fuel
called peat.

The smoke rising up
from the great furnaces
engulfs the barley chamber
giving Islay whiskies
their signature flavor.

But before the fires
can be started,
the peat must be dug by hand
in the middle of a bog.
So we're in the middle
of this vast peat bog.
It goes, I mean, pretty much
as far as the eye can see here.
Basically, the whole south
of the island
is peat bog, and so that's why
Islay has so many
peaty whiskies in it,
because we've just got
all this natural resource.
I mean, to me,
this looks like mud.
What-I mean, what is this?
That's decomposed vegetation,
thousands upon thousands
of years old.
[Sam] And so traditionally,
the locals would burn that
like fuel.
Yes, and this peat bog
is 25 meters deep in places.
You get more smoke
off the top of it.
And the deeper you go,
more coalite, more heat.
So if you're cutting to flavor
the malted barley,
we want the bit at the top.
If you're cutting
for your house,
you want deeper.
And is this a traditional thing?
Did you do this
as a-as a child?
-Oh, yes.
Yes, yes.
[Sam] Many a summer
spent here, right?
Many a summer evening ruined,
having to go and cut peat.
Now, I do need to ask
about this.
Why is there a-a cow horn?
[John] So the horn
is actually molded to my hand.
You would boil it in water
and then put your hand on it
while it was still soft
so that it would mold
into the shape of your hand.
-That's so cool.
So that's my horn
you've got there, Graham.
-So I put it here?
-[Sam] Yeah.
-[Graham] Yeah?
-[Sam] Not too deep now.
You don't want to go too deep.
[Graham] Yeah, okay.
Right, so just get it there.
And a firm pressure.
You want a firm pressure.
Don't thrust, firm pressure.
Right, I'm holding John's horn.
-[Sam] Yeah.
-[Graham] And I'm ready to dig.
-Oh, look at that.
That's it. That's it.
I've got my--
[Sam] Oh, look,
I think he's made a--
[Graham] Oh, he's bringing in
the fork.
-Now, hold on.
-[Sam] That's terrible.
[Graham] Hold on. Oh!
There we go.
Teamwork, teamwork.
For your first day at the peat,
that's not bad.
[inspiring music plays]
Let's get a sweat on.
Yeah, yeah,
it's a beautiful day.
-Come on.
-I think we--
I'll get a wee bit of this.

Oh, boy.
You like that?
[Graham] I'm so into this now.
I'm gonna do
a little bit more.

[Sam] That is the master cutter,
is it not?
Look at that.
-[Graham] Oh.
[John] You're a natural.
You're an absolute natural.

And how much of this bog
would you like us to finish
before we actually get
our whisky?
Oh, this is just one bank.
We've got 16 here.
-Six-sixteen of these?
-So 16 rows?
[John] Yeah.
So Arthur and I will go away
and have a wee dram,
and we can just leave youse
to cut.
Work up a sweat, and then maybe
come back to the distillery.
[sighs] Okay.
Well, um, we better get to work.
-[Graham] Um, thanks, guys.
-No problem.
[Sam] See you
back at the distillery.
-Perfect. Enjoy.
[Sam] Yeah, we-we will.
[breathing heavily]
You know, it's not
that I'm against
a little bit
of hard work, but
Oh, no. No, not at all.
I just-I just feel bad,
you know,
taking another man's job.
[Sam] Yeah, let's go get
a whisky, shall we?
-[Graham] Yeah, okay.
-[Sam] Before they notice.
[Graham] All right, yeah, yeah.
Yup, yup.
That was very graceful.
[Sam] Thanks. Come on.
It's--oh, God, it's getting
very boggy here.
[upbeat music plays]

Small islands like Islay
often have only a handful
of roads,
and the best way
to experience them
isn't always by camper van.

[Sam] So we took our time,
enjoying the scenic route
to the distillery

where John said he had
a special surprise in store
to thank us
for all the hard work
he thought we'd done.

-[Graham] I'm excited.
-[Sam] Oh!
-[Graham] I'm very excited.
-I can't wait.
-Oh, my God.
-That's incredible.
[triumphant music plays]

[Graham] This is like a--
this is--
It's like a-a cathedral
to malt.
I don't know. I--
yeah, I have-I have--
To barley. [sniffs]
-Oh, the smell in here as well.
-Oh, my God.
Don't you-don't you have
an overwhelming desire
-just to run across it?
-Run into it and dive?
Or is that really childish
of me?
I-I want to do it.
-[John] Go for it.
-This is--I can?
-[John] Go for it.
-What? Really?
-[John] Go. Go for it, guys.
-[Graham] Oh!
-[Sam] Oh, it's heaven!
Oh, it's flowing.
It smells amazing.
[sweeping orchestral music
[Graham] We have found it, Sam,
the holy grail.
We have.
-We have found our home.
We're going to live here now
Can we live here forever?
This--it's so soft.
-It's like--
-It's like a bed.
[Graham] It is.
You could sleep on it.
Have you ever slept on this?
[John] I-I could tell you,
but I'd have to shoot you.
-Ah, good answer.
Maybe after a few, you have.
How long is the malt, um,
in this process?
[John] Seven days.
200 years ago,
every single distillery
would have had one
of these floor maltings.
It wasn't commercial maltings
just down the road.
[bright music plays]
We've got the sea
just outside that window.
So just through opening
and closing the windows,
we ventilate this room
with cool air off the sea.
[Graham] And everything
just enhances the flavor.

I'm never going to drink
a Laphroaig whisky again
without thinking
of this moment.
This is fantastic.
You might taste a bit of me
in that Laphroaig.
-I really hope not.
Okay, let's go.
Yes, there's definitely a
a bit there.
John doesn't see that.
Let's go. Wait for me, boys!
[soft music plays]

[Graham] We've just started
our journey,
but there's no better place
to end our first leg.
It's perfect.
This is the 2019
25-year-old cask strength.
This would have been made
the first year I started
at the distillery as well,
Cheers to a great experience
of Scottish food and drink.
[Graham] Your good self,
your good health.
-[glasses clink]

I--the silence.
[John] That's always the sign
of a good whisky.
Isn't it?
[John] Five or six seconds
of just feeling.
[water rushing]
[birds and insects chirping]
-[cork pops]
-[glasses clink]
-[Graham sighs] That was great.
-[Sam] Hmm.
What a great, great first leg
of the journey, right?
-I really enjoyed it.
-I knew you would.
-I really--
yeah, food and drink,
I'm glad we started with that,
because it's put me
in a really good mood.
What was your favorite part?
Tony Singh, I really enjoyed
the outdoor element of it.
-And he was just making it
there in front of us;
that was amazing.
But then with Tom Kitchin
when he came out
with that incredible scallop--
Oh, I think we both cried
a little, didn't we?
I did. I did. There's been
a little bit of weeping.
I-if that's the first one,
we've got a lot to live up to
with the--I--whoa.
There's a lot of Scotland
that we need to explore.
[lively music plays]
-[Graham] The clans.
[engines rumbling]
[Sam] The landscape.
The music.


-[exhales sharply]

Am I doing the driving
the whole way?
Uh, yeah, actually, you are.
I just feel more comfortable
as the passenger.
Because then I can moan
and complain.
-It's very entertaining.
-Cheers, mate.
[glasses clink]
[waves rushing]
[Graham] I'm starving.
[Sam] Yeah.
I hope Tony
hasn't gotten lost.

-[Graham] Yes.
It's an age-old question,
and I have to ask it.
The question that I get asked
the most
-as a Scotsman.
Are you, Graham McTavish,
a true Scotsman?
Oh, aye, son.
Why, it'll be men in kilts,
but it'll be men
in very little else.
Men in very little kilts.
-Like mini kilts.
-Normal-sized kilts.
-No, a-a mini kilt.
But what, are you going
for some kind
of tiny tartan miniskirt?
Men in mini kilts.

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