Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

[soft music plays]
♪
[dramatic bagpipe and drum
music plays]
♪
[Graham]
How far are we going?
[Sam] All the way, bro.
Whoo!
Oh, my God.
Surf's up, bro!
It's so cold.
Oh, Jesus. Bugger!
[engine turns over]
[Graham] The big surf scene.
It wasn't my first thought
when I thought
about sports in Scotland.
But apparently it's here.
Surf's up, bro.
Please make that
the last time you say that.
We're gonna be doing
a lot of different sports.
Yeah.
-[Sam] In Scotland.
-Scottish sports.
Who would have known
that Scottish people
were quite so sporty?
You're very sporty,
aren't you?
Oh, thank you.
I like to think
I'm a little sporty.
-Yeah, no, you are.
-Ah, you're sporty too, though.
I am, but I-I think
you've got another layer
of sportiness to you.
[Sam] Ah, I might work out
a bit,
but I seem to remember
you being pretty sporty.
Myself and you played
a little bit of shinty.
Yes, we did. We did.
Featured in a show
called "Outlander."
Shinty's a bit like a cross
between hockey and lacrosse.
Very violent sport.
I believe I won.
[Graham] Yes, you beat me. Yes.
Because it was
in the script, Sam.
That's true.
You mean that doesn't count?
No, no.
You've just got to stop
this confusion
between fiction and real life.
[Sam] Yeah, I-I remember
when we were doing it,
the director told us
it was historically used
for practicing sword play.
I taught you this game, lad.
That you did.
That didn't look very fair.
[Sam] Scotland has
a long sporting tradition
that dates back
to the time of the clans.
[Graham] Early events tested
our strongest
and bravest soldiers,
everything
from lifting rocks
-[Sam] To tossing trees.
-[Graham] Pulling ropes.
[Sam] And running up mountains.
Much of this was formalized
during Victorian times
into the Highland games,
which became celebrated
around the world.
Some say this uniquely
Scottish gathering
inspired the modern Olympics.
[Graham] Scotland's a notorious
underdog in sports.
Although we're small,
we're also mighty
with a variety
of unique traditions.
Lifting, throwing, kicking,
shinty
[Sam] Running.
Stabbing.
Are you just gonna be
relentlessly competitive?
Moi?
You're champing at the bit.
Because you are Mr. Sporty Man.
If you are a-a sporty man
yourself,
we should make a bet
on your sporting prowess.
Okay, but first of all,
what--what sport?
[Sam] All of them.
[Graham] All of them?
Yeah.
What kind of a bet?
Skinny-dip
in the Atlantic Ocean.
Naked swimming?
So the loser
has to skinny-dip
in the North Atlantic.
Okay. I take that bet.
-[Sam] Oh, you take it?
-On what--
Yeah, I take that bet.
Game on, McTavish.
Game on.
[stirring music plays]
♪
Lifting heavy stones was
an ancient rite of passage.
And it's still a key feature
of Scottish strong man
competitions.
But the original stones
remain dotted
all around the countryside.
Anyone who is willing
can test their strength.
I want to lift a stone.
Right.
[Sam] One of the oldest
lifting stones sites
is located outside
Balquhidder.
And we're gonna meet
with Peter Lawrie
who's a fellow
in the Society of Antiquaries.
[Graham] Antiquaries?
[Sam] I believe
it's the study
of old Scottish things.
And Peter, well,
he knows all about them.
♪
Peter.
-How do you do, Sam?
-Hi.
-How do you do?
-Thanks for, uh, meeting us
here.
-That's all right.
-And here we are.
-The-the Pudrac stone.
-This is the Pudrac.
It's probably Neolithic.
Might be four, four and a half
thousand years old.
-[Sam] Wow.
-These days,
it's the plinth, if you like,
for this lifting stone.
And, uh, this particular one,
I understand
they took it out of the river
and a variety of strong men
from around the world
have been sensed
to lift it up there.
Are they always
the same weight?
Roughly the same weight?
-The-the stones around Scotland?
-No, I don't think so.
[Sam] I-I believe this one is
about a hundred kilograms.
-My God.
-But, yeah.
There-there are varying weights,
and it was a test
-of your manhood or
your strength.
-That's right.
You were a man
if you could lift the stone.
[Peter]
Yes, that's the whole idea.
It was the-the introduction
to manhood
to be able to take the stone
and plunk it on there.
As soon as you can lift it,
you're a man.
-Right.
-Wow.
Well, nothing else
remains, really,
but for you to lift it.
I don't want to embarrass you.
-But, you know
-Go on, Sam.
-I'll give it a go.
-[Sam] Go on.
-Don't put your back out.
-Okay.
-There he goes.
-All right, here we go.
[Sam] He means business.
Assume the position.
Oh, God.
-[Graham] I know this isn't
gonna go well.
-[Sam] Go on.
Careful, careful.
-I've moved it!
-He's moving it.
-[Graham straining] I moved it.
-Come on, Graham.
[Graham grunts]
No.
Um, not today.
I think I'm gonna
give it a rest.
-Yeah.
-I was testing it.
And it is heavy.
-All right.
-Okay, your go.
[Sam] Oh, God.
I-I can't do this.
It looks far too heavy,
but okay.
I really want to have a go.
[dramatic music plays]
Okay, hold on.
Hold on.
Good stuff.
Oh God, it's bloody awkward.
♪
-It's off the ground!
-[both laugh]
[Sam] Hang on, one more go.
-I'm gonna do this.
-[Graham] Yeah, that's it.
[Sam] God, it's really hard
to put your arms around.
That's what she said.
♪
[Peter] It's up.
It's off the ground.
[Graham] It's off the ground.
Yes!
[laughing] Yes, you did it!
Watch your feet!
-Well, hey.
-[Sam grunts]
-[Graham] Whoa!
-[Sam grunts]
[Graham] That is impressive.
-Well done, mate.
-Thank you, mate.
Well done.
I'm about choked up about that,
actually.
I didn't know that
was gonna happen, actually.
-That's it. Do you need to lie
down?
-I do.
Maybe in a grave.
[mischievous music playing]
♪
I've always found this
very strange about Scotland.
That they seem
to have an obsession
with just lifting
and throwing heavy things.
They're just like--they see
something heavy,
and it's like,
"I need to pick that up."
Yeah.
"Oh, that suitcase looks
a wee bit heavy."
-Great!
-"I'll be picking it up for you
and turning it into a sport."
-Luggage tossing.
-[Sam] Luggage tossing.
Great, that's heavy.
Pick that up.
-[Graham] Aye, pick that up.
-Chuck it.
See if you can pick that up
and throw it.
Oi, your luggage
is awfully heavy.
-I should be lifting that.
-Aye, aye.
Are luggage handlers in
Scotland particularly tough?
Aye, very strong.
-Aye, aye.
-[Sam] Very strong.
[laughter]
♪
[Sam] Our next stop
is Braemar,
the home of the Highland games
where men and women
from around the world
come to demonstrate
their strength and agility.
This is the famous
Duke of Fife Memorial Park.
-Wow.
-Where annually,
the Braemar Highland Gathering
is held.
[Sam] You can imagine
16,000 fans
cheering on the competitors.
[Charlie] You arrive
at these events
and you're fortunate enough
to be allowed
out in the middle of the field,
and you look around
and you're-you're in awe.
What are the Highland games,
Charlie?
The Highland games is
a-a celebration
of Scottish culture.
They're community events.
It's a athletic competition,
music, Highland dancing.
It's unique to Scotland.
What really prompted
people to start competing?
The origination
of the Highland games
would come from the clans
and they wanted to determine,
to pick their fastest
and their strongest men
to represent the clans
-at different challenges.
-[Graham] Yeah.
-[Sam] Speed, strength.
-[Charlie] Yep.
It all comes together
at the games.
[Sam] Charlie,
I believe this is actually
the seat that you sit in
-during the games.
-Yep.
You're not in any danger
of anything being thrown
or landing on you here, are you?
I mean, it's safer at the back,
surely.
-Yep.
-[laughs]
[Charlie] There's hammers
being thrown.
There's tug of war.
You see the jump pit.
-We have a high jump.
-[Graham] Yep.
[Charlie] Kyle Randalls
is coming around
to probably give you
a-a few lessons.
-A small man, I'm imagining.
-Yep.
Maybe like just 5'4",
something like that?
-No, no, no, no.
-[Graham] No?
He's a mountain of a man.
I think his mustache
might be 5'4".
[laughter]
[dramatic music plays]
[Sam] I've heard
he's one of the best
hammer throwers in Scotland.
There's one thing
we're missing though.
[Charlie] You need to be
properly dressed.
You need a-a kilt,
kilt hose,
appropriate footwear.
[Graham] Right.
[Charlie] One thing,
do not go commando.
-Oh, I'm glad to hear that.
-I'm glad to hear it.
Just in case you get upended.
-[laughs]
-Yeah.
♪
[Sam] Oh, my God!
That's barely in the arena.
Kyle, thank you so much
for joining us.
-Pleasure.
-Absolutely.
How's his handshake?
-It's good, yeah.
-[Graham] Yeah, I warned you.
I warned you.
Yeah, we thought we'd come
dressed for the part.
You can tell,
it's pretty cold.
Graham's nipples are now--
Yes, I'm gonna be hanging
things off them in a minute.
Full salute, but we're here
to throw things.
And you do that, competitively.
I do, yeah.
I spend most of the summer
running about the Highlands
of Scotland throwing shit.
[laughs]
-You do, yes.
-Yeah.
Are-are there
a lot of injuries?
Uh, there's been a few.
The worst, I have torn
open my stomach
-throwing the hammer, so
-Oh, good.
-I'm incredibly paranoid.
-Good to know this.
So you've torn your stomach?
-Entire left side, yeah.
-Entire left side.
God, you must be exhausted
at the end of the week.
I mean, you just live
in a constant state of pain
and sadness
throughout the season.
Or jubilation
if you're winning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that-that's it.
[Sam] So what do we have here?
We have a hammer?
These are both, uh,
the Scots hammer.
-So this is the smaller one.
-Oh, that's--
-Mm-hmm.
-So, 16 pounds, 4'2" in length.
And it's actually made out
of quite a flexible shaft.
-Oh, oh.
-So the idea is when you're--
-That's unexpected.
-Yeah, when you throwin' it,
you can get
a sort of whip in it.
-That's the smallest.
-And then this--
This is the Braemar hammer,
I guess?
You've got
the-the Big Mac daddy here.
22 pounds.
And this is actually
a different wooden handle.
You can see this one
has almost no flex.
What's the technique
to getting it further?
Is-is it the faster
you spin or just--the--
You want to work the hammer
and let it work you.
-Mm.
-So
Yes, sensei.
Work the hammer
and let it work you.
Oh shit.
There you go. Knees forward,
knees forward. There you go.
[grunting] I can't stop!
Even dragging it along
the ground is a bit of a chore.
Hey, come on now.
[Sam] Work the hammer
and let it work you.
I think we can all go home now.
Are we safe here,
do you think?
[Sam] When do I let go?
Just when it feels right.
I would aim--aim
for the pavilion.
Aim?
[Kyle] There you go.
Come on, lad.
-[Sam] It's not gonna work.
-There we go.
It's been four swings.
Five swings.
-Six swings, seven swings.
-[Graham muttering]
Let go of it, Sam.
I'm exhausted watching that.
[Sam] I'm a bit disappointed
about that one.
[Kyle] It wasn't bad.
[Graham] I feel absolutely
horrified watching that.
Okay, get on and throw it.
Oh, here we go
for the gold medal
at the Braemar games!
Oh, it's a good throw!
[laughing]
Oh, they're so equal.
[Kyle]
First point of impact, okay?
To the center of the divot?
[Kyle] The first--yep,
the very-the very edge.
The closest edge to me
of the divot.
-[Graham] Closest edge.
-That there.
What do you think?
12.9.
[whispering]
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
13.18.
Yes!
[laughs]
♪
[Sam] So well done, mate.
Yes, well done.
Well done, yourself.
We'll see what comes next.
[Sam]
Ah, haggis country.
[Graham]
Aye, it's unmistakable.
[Sam] Aye, the tall grass.
They like that.
Concealing themselves.
-Their colorful plumage.
-Yeah.
-And the call of the haggis.
-[Sam] Oh.
[rolls tongue, calls]
We're not gonna do
any haggis shooting.
-[Sam] You ever shot a haggis?
-I've never, I never have.
[Sam] It's really difficult.
When cornered,
-they can be really vicious.
-Yes.
-[animal growls]
-[gasps]
-[Sam] Very sharp teeth.
-[Graham] Mm, mm.
-[screams]
-[gunshot]
[Graham] Well, they're not
the cleverest of creatures,
-are they? No.
-[Sam] They're pretty dumb.
200 years ago, like, back
when the clans were around,
there were also--there were
these, um, like, giant haggis.
[chuckling]
You okay?
No, it was--no, they had
to be really careful.
I mean, they're extinct now,
those-those ones, but, um
Thank God.
[Sam] Well, traditionally
people would wear a haggis
-[laughing]
-Um, a live one.
[laughter]
Look at McDougal's haggis.
[Sam] Look at it
tearing around.
-It's gone completely mental.
-[grunting]
Can you control your haggis,
please, sir?
[both snarling]
Dow-down!
Down!
[laughter]
[Graham] Well, it's a shame
we're not gonna be able
to do haggis shooting because--
Well that's something
I'd like to try.
[Sam] No sporty road trip
would be complete
without a stop
into St. Andrews
and the oldest golf course
in Scotland.
[Graham] The home of golf.
[Sam] St. Andrews hosted the
world's first open tournament
and invented
the 18-hole course.
Amazing.
[Graham] And this is Fraser,
the caddy master
of St. Andrews.
-Thecaddy master.
-Thecaddy master.
This is hallowed ground.
I can't believe you've
actually let us,
basically imposters, imbeciles,
on this--
Imposters?
Let's not go too far.
This is the greatest thing
about St. Andrews.
Golfers of all standards
get to come and play here.
People travel
from all over the world.
All the greats have been here.
And you guys can
go out there today
and follow in their footsteps,
even as imposters.
I feel like my footsteps
are gonna be
quite a lot shorter
than their footsteps
once I've hit the first drive.
No, the footsteps are the same.
It's the golf ball traveling
will be the difference.
[Sam] But there's
great history here.
I mean, you know, golf
obviously is, you know,
a Scottish sport but it's now,
you know, universal
and it's-it's played
everywhere.
But this, you know,
this is where it originated,
am I right?
Yes, there's always
different theories
about where it originated
but it dates back hundred
and hundreds of years here.
It's been played
from 400, 500 years ago
just on this piece
of land here.
The old times people
and the farmers
used to drive
their cattle across it
and sticks and stones
out into rugged land.
I notice it's very flat
on this side, but on this side
there's-there's a lot of
undulation. Is that natural or--
[Fraser] Yeah, so every bit
of land that's here
is just as it was
hundreds of years ago.
So all the humps and bumps
that are out here,
nothing's been shaped.
No big machinery's come
in here.
It just evolved
into the golf course.
There may be a few more holes
after we've played.
No, no, not at all.
You guys will be
absolutely fine.
You won't take out
any big chunks out of it.
[birds squawking]
[dramatic music plays]
♪
So let's get you teed up here.
The long drive contest,
which means the furthest away
from the tee shot wins.
[Graham] So whoever hits
the ball the furthest
gets a point.
This is 124 yards wide.
-You can't miss it.
-[Graham] Great.
[Sam] Okay, here we go.
Okay.
[Sam mumbles]
[Fraser] Oh, there you go.
Contact.
I'm feeling
very intimidated now.
Here we go.
[Fraser] There's a nice air
of confidence about this.
-Yeah.
-This man has done this before.
Now take your time,
get settled,
just a nice smooth swing.
This is very serious.
[Sam] Good luck. Don't miss it.
-[Sam] Oh.
-[Fraser] Oh hey, there you go.
-Oh.
-Now that's gonna be close.
I couldn't even see
where it went.
[Fraser]
It's straight down the middle.
It's on the same line as Sam.
It's gonna be close.
[Fraser]
One of these golf balls
is a good 15 yards
further than the other.
I'm beginning to question
your sense of direction.
Sam, this is definitely yours.
It's on short grass.
It's in play.
-This is Sam's ball?
-You can't ask for any more than
this.
What can you say, Sam?
Oh, you-you're joking?
A little bit harder
you would have got there.
Yeah, he still hasn't managed
to get it as far as me.
All we can say is, this man
has won the-the long drive
contest.
-[Sam] One point, one point.
-[Fraser] Just point.
Oh, no, no.
I know, I know.
I'm just gonna-- I-I just have
to do this, to this.
Mine.
Sam's.
[Fraser]
His drive in this position here
is about 235 yards
off the tee.
Your one back there
was 220 yards.
Numbers. He's wins.
[Graham] I'm just gonna stand
looking at my ball
just for a few more moments
in a kind of contemplative,
worshipping manner.
Okay, moving on.
[upbeat guitar music plays]
♪
[Sam] I've saved the best
for last.
We're going to the home
of Scotland's national
rugby union team.
The fog is lifting
on fortress Murrayfield.
-[Graham] Fortress Murrayfield.
-[Sam] Fortress Murrayfield.
The national stadium for rugby.
We're here with two of
the greatest Scottish players
there have ever been,
Al Kellock, Chris Paterson.
[Graham] You're barely able
to control yourself
at this point, I think.
It has to be said
that I'm pretty uh, excited.
I've been coming here for
many years, watching Scotland,
um, you know, clutch defeat
in the jaws of victory,
and, uh, it's been, um--
-[Chris] Was that my fault?
-And it has just been
Or was it your fault?
[Sam] But, uh, I remember
coming here as a teenager,
and to be honest,
never been here sober,
so this is also, you know,
a first for me.
You're not many places sober,
are you?
[Sam] Yeah, exactly.
[Chris] But it's quite haunting
when it's empty, isn't it?
[Sam] It is haunting.
[Sam] The echo you get here
is incredible,
but when it's filled with,
what, 60,000, did we say?
-67,000 and some change.
-67,000 people.
And they're all singing
"Flower of Scotland."
Our unofficial national anthem
just whips this place
into a frenzy.
[Al] You come out here
with your country,
it's enough to get you going.
And you never really need
anything extra.
[Sam] Some people
don't know rugby.
There's a ball.
You basically have to get it
to the other end
for a try, right?
-Mm-hmm.
-Then you get to try
and convert it by kicking it
through the-the posts here.
You can only pass backwards.
You can only run forward,
pass backwards.
-You guys don't wear pads.
-No.
You know, it's not like
American football.
There's no pads.
You're playing,
what, 90 minutes or--
-Just a note to the Americans.
-Yeah, exactly.
-No pads.
-These guys are hard.
-No pads.
-So don't mess.
[Chris]
It's a brilliant game.
It's an exciting game to
watch as well.
[Sam] It is.
[Al] There's 15 players
on the park.
[Chris] You don't see the ball
for a lot of the time.
The ball is either
in a scrum or in a maul
or in a pileup.
[Sam] And these words scrum,
maul.
Literally, you have
a group of men
that would put the ball
in the middle
and you have to
sort of fight over it.
[Al] We've chatted enough.
We're at rugby, so time
to get you onto the park
and-and see some skills,
I think.
[Sam] It all comes down
to this.
If I win here, we tie
and the bet's off.
[Graham] But if you lose,
you're going swimming,
my friend.
[stirring orchestral music
plays]
[crowd stomping]
♪
[Graham coughing]
[Chris] There's lots of
different elements in rugby.
One really important element
is passing.
So we're gonna do
some passing here,
and we're gonna test you
head-to-head.
I'll give you three balls.
Let's see how many we get
in the bin.
[Graham]
Isn't there a handicap
for him being
20 years younger than me?
I mean, come on.
-You just moved it!
-Get back.
Get back.
-Right.
-No, just where it was.
-Ready?
-It's like being with a child.
-Go!
-[Chris] There they go.
Down and up the cone.
Go to the line, pick up.
Oh!
-[Chris] Unlucky, back again.
-[Al] Oh, it's close. Here's the
take.
-[Chris] I tell you what.
-[Al] Good.
-[Chris] I tell you what.
-[Al] Have to aim and pass.
-[Sam] Ah!
-[laughing]
-[bell dings]
-Yes!
-Come on, Graham, come on.
-[Al] Fast finish.
Fast finish, make the pass.
-[bell dings]
-both: Yes!
-Yeah! That's my last!
-Ah!
-[exclaiming]
-[Chris laughing]
[Sam] The score is 1-1.
He'll have to try harder
to get me naked.
This is a kicking practice.
One ball from each cone
and you're landing it
in a 10x10 meter square there.
Here we go.
This one is
for the Six Nations.
This is for Scotland.
About there, coach?
That's good.
Keep it in.
♪
[Sam] Go on, go on, go on!
-[Al] Oh, it's no good, man.
-[Sam groans]
[Chris] Comes down to
the last kick of the match.
Good luck, Graham, you need it.
Here you go.
It's for one point.
[laughing] Shut
-Oh, it's good for the height!
-Oh, it's beautiful.
-Oh, yes!
-Beautiful.
Is he breathing hard?
I don't think he is.
I feel great.
Gentlemen sport, gentlemen won.
Well done.
We've done so much.
Um, surfing.
-Yes.
-St. Andrews.
-Incredible.
-That--fantastic.
Absolutely incredible.
I was saying to you earlier,
it's really important to just
take a moment to take in
this sort of experience
-isn't it?
-Yeah.
To be here, to be
in this amazing stadium
Total dream come true.
Here's to losing
at Murrayfield.
[whispering] To victory.
♪
[Graham] Ah, we've just got one
more thing
to take care of.
Let me-let me remember.
Hmm.
Oh, yes, you're going
skinny-dipping
in the North Atlantic.
I actually have huge respect
for you.
-Thanks.
-Honoring your bet
and going
into the North Atlantic
on a-on a windy, wet, rainy day.
Can you see through the window
with all the rain?
You're so petty.
-You are so petty.
-No. No, not petty.
No, jubilant.
I'll have the coast guard
on speed dial.
In fact, I think
I'll just start ringing them
as soon as you start running
towards the sea.
I can't take much more of this.
Winds up, surf's up.
You know, defibrillator's
on standby.
[chuckling]
There he goes. Oh, look.
Look.
Oh, oh, yes.
Here we go.
This is the good stuff.
Just another 15 yards, Sam!
Keep going!
This is possibly one of the
sweetest moments of my life.
[laughing] Oh, dear.
That's it!
Full immersion.
Keep going.
Keep going.
[laughing] Yes!
Oh, boy.
[Sam] Ah!
Oh, God.
[Graham]
The sounds of a man screaming.
Music to my ears.
I think it's worse coming back.
[Sam]
Should we do a caber toss?
[Kyle] We can, yeah.
Yeah.
[Sam] Okay.
[Kyle] Perfect.
Keep going, man.
[Graham] Oh, God.
-Ah!
-Yes!
[grunts]
One, two, three heave!
One, two, three, heave.
Heave.
Heave.
There's a lot of cheating
going on over there.