Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

Song & Dance

[Sam humming
"The Skye Boat Song"]

[continues humming]
[humming "The Skye Boat Song"]


-[Graham] Carry the lad ♪
-[Sam] Row!
That's born to be king ♪
[Sam] Faster!
[both] Over the sea to Skye ♪
We're going the wrong way.
[upbeat fiddle music plays]

[bright flute music plays]

[Graham] Here we are on our way
to begin the next chapter.
Um, song and dance.
Song and dance, which is
a really big part
of Scottish culture.

there is perhaps
no other country
where music has played
such an important role,
from celebration to battle
and everything in between.
Music and the dances
that follow
are forever entwined
in the nation's history.
And of course,
there is one instrument
that is synonymous
with Scottish music:
the bagpipe.
The pipes are a part
of everything,
from Highland dancing
to marching bands
and even traditional
folk parties
like ceilidhs.
There is a musical tradition
that runs deep in Scotland,
as song and dance
are how Highlanders
passed on their history
and culture.
We can truly feel it
in the voices,
the movement,
and the passion of the people
who carry on
that legacy today.
[solemn bagpipe music plays]
We've set up camp
in the heart of the Highlands,
We'll be joined
by one of the people
keeping traditional
Scottish music alive,
Gillebride MacMillan,
who plays Gwyllyn the Bard
[singing in Gaelic]

-[Gillebride] Hello, my friend.
Not a bad clearing
you have here.
-How are you, sir?
-Not bad. Yourself?
Excuse me. My mouth's full.
-How you doing?
-How are you?
I'm just full
of Sam's porridge.
-Looks good.
[Sam] Please join us.
Take a seat.
So you're a Gaelic speaker.
I am.
Gaelic's my first language.
Yes, I had no English
before I went to school.
And people still speak Gaelic
in Scotland.
We see a lot of the road signs
are in Gaelic.
There are about 70,000
Gaelic speakers
here in Scotland.
Is it the first language
of the western isles?
It is, yeah.
So when I was growing up,
it would be the first language
of about 90% of the population.
It's very much alive
and kicking.
And then how it lives on,
is through storytelling,
isn't it?
You must yourself hold
a lot of
a lot of stories and songs.
Yes, I suppose I've got
any song for any occasion.
Well, then we have an occasion.
Give us a song.
[plaintive music plays]
[Gillebride singing in Gaelic]

[Sam and Graham join in]

[upbeat music plays]
[Graham] So curious.
Were you much
of a musical theater guy
in your younger days,
when you started out?
Were you doing a lot
of singing and dancing?
-No, none?
-No, I have to admit--
-No musicals, no?
No, no, I have to admit
that I can't sing or dance.
I need help
musically speaking.
Well, I-I've had a terrible
history with musicals,
and I did sing in Outlander.
-[exhales heavily]
-Uh, that was--
it-it had a mixed reception.
"The Maid Get to the Mill
by Nicht."
Oh, God, here we go.
No, I'm not gonna sing it.
She would get
the corn ground ♪
[men] Mill and multure free ♪
Oot and cam'
the miller's lad ♪
Hey, hey, sae wonton ♪
-Yes, you know the one.
If you ever travel the world
-no matter what country
you go to,
I-I always seem to encounter
bagpipes somewhere,
-in the most random places.
-Yes, absolutely.
I was--I remember Santa Monica
in-in Los Angeles,
and I remember hearing
-just on the wind
the call of the bagpipes.
Some people
really do not like them at all.
Well, I think we're gonna
convert a lot of people,
because they are magnificent.
We're gonna meet
fabulous Iain MacGillivray,
-and he's such a great piper.
-Isn't he?
Such a wonderful ambassador
for piping and for Scotland
and for his clan.
Is he not the youngest
chief or commander--
-Clan-clan chief.
-Clan chief, yes.
And we're gonna meet him
at Doune Castle.
Ah, which holds
very, very strong memories
Very good memories
-[Graham] for both of us.
-[Sam] ..for both of us.
If those walls could speak
-This is Doune Castle.
-Yes, it is, but
but is it Doune Castle?
It's actually Castle Leoch.
Castle Leoch, your-your home.
My home, exactly.
That was my room
at the top there.
Yeah, it's-yeah, it's the one
that's been knocked off.
[Sam] But we're here to meet
this fantastic piper,
Iain MacGillivray.
-[Graham] Iain.
-Nice to meet you gentlemen.
-How you doing, Graham?
-[Graham] Ah.
[Sam] Good to see you.
Now, tell us about the pipes,
[somber bagpipe music playing]
[Iain] It's one of the most
ancient forms of music
in all of Europe
and especially in Scotland.
[Sam] And this is a big part
of, obviously,
Scottish culture as well.
It's a, you know,
quite iconic instrument
and also was, uh, um,
was an instrument of war.
It became outlawed,
or at least,
you weren't allowed to use it
unless it was
part of the military;
is that right?
I mean, the pipers were there
to kind of drum the spirit,
and it was meant to put fear
into the enemies.
-A lot of these pipers
would've been taken
to the battlefield,
and they would've marched
into battle.
And he would've piped
for a bit,
and then he would've handed
the pipes to
whoever, and then
[Sam] "You hold these;
I'm gonna go fight them."
"I don't--
I hold them the last time.
I'm not gonna hold them
this time."
When the British Empire
started to spread,
they used the Scots
on the front line of battle.
[Graham] Mm-hmm, yeah.
[Iain] And rather
than just being a lone piper,
it became an orchestral set
of bagpipes and drums,
so multiple pipers,
multiple drummers.
[Graham] Mm.
[Iain] And then suddenly,
you come
to this First World War.
-Pipes are still being used.
-[Graham] Yes.
[Iain] Scots regiments
are still in kilts.
-Yes, the marching bands.
-Then you get
to the Second World War
and this amazing story
of Bill Millin.
A piper stormed
the beaches of Normandy
playing his pipes,
hurling himself
-across the landing craft--
-[Sam] Yeah, yeah.
The Germans thought
he was crazy.
They couldn't believe a piper--
I love it.
And he marched up and down
for, like, half an hour.
Yeah, yeah.
And the Germans
stopped shooting at him
because they couldn't believe
that anybody would be
this insane.
[Iain] It-it's quite a
remarkable story, that, yeah.
-I mean, it's--
-Ah, it's fantastic.
That-that-that symbolizes
literally the essence
of bagpiping
in Scottish music
as well as on the battlefield.
Music is so embedded
in the culture.
It's in your blood.
It's in your blood.
It's-it's in our genes.
That's gonna live with us
with the rest of our days,
-and I'm-I'm so proud of that.
-[Graham] That's right.
You've got a little bit
of a surprise as well
for Graham.
Well, one
of your great-relatives
is Simon McTavish
of the North West Company
fur trade in Canada.
-Well, one of our ancestors,
Willie McGillivray,
was his uncle,
so we are distantly related
-Oh, my God.
-which is pretty amazing.
That's fantastic.
This is it, brothers in arms.
[Graham] Brother.
Full circle. Amazing.
Thank you for telling me that.
That's really wonderful.
We wanna hear you
play something for us.
Would you mind?
[Iain] It'd be a pleasure.
[playing jaunty bagpipe music]

[music stops]
[upbeat music plays]

[Graham] You know, it was really
moving to hear,
Iain play "The Black Bear,"
you know?
It-it was my father's
favorite pipe tune.
They always make me cry a bit,
you know, the bagpipes.
[Sam] Now that we've learned
a bit about Scottish music,
I think it's time to put
our dancing skills
to the test.
Have you done
sword dancing before?
I mean, obviously,
I was very, very, very good
when I was younger.
It's been a few years
since I've, uh,
put on the pumps.
-Right, yeah.
Have you hung up
your swords since?
Well, yes, and then
there was the ballet years
Ah, yes.
when I danced
with the Bolshoi.
Yes, Swan Lake,was it?
Yes, yes.
Sugar Plum Fairy,
I can imagine.
Yes, you've never seen a dying
swan like it, wouldn't you.
I would pay good money
to see you onstage,
because I have seen you dance.
I've got rhythm ♪
I've got music ♪
I've seen you dance.
You have rhythm.
That's for sure.
Who could ask
for anything more? ♪
[crowd cheering]
[Sam] You've got hips as well.
[somber bagpipe music playing]
We're gonna meet
a champion Highland dancer,
who's gonna teach us
the Scottish sword dance.
Cerys Jones, what a pleasure.
-I'm Graham.
-Nice to meet you.
Cerys, I'm Sam.
I'm Graham.
And you are
a Highland dancer, Cerys.
[upbeat music plays]
[Sam] So these are
traditional dances.
Do they date back, uh,
many years?
[Cerys] Yeah.
it was for soldiers
to get fit
for going into battle.
What an interesting way
-of getting fit, though.
-Go dance.
[Cerys] The soldiers
would dance the swords
before they went into battle.
If they didn't touch
the sword,
they were gonna win.
If they touched the sword,
they were gonna be injured.
And if they kicked it,
they were gonna die
in that battle.
So if you kick the sword
You would die in the battle.
It's interesting;
actually, I did have to do
a-a dance in Outlander,
and it was a sort of variation
of the Highland fling
with swords.

You know, it was quite hard
'cause we had
these big boots on,
but, um, I would love to see,
-how a professional does it.
-Yeah, okay.
[Sam] Show us what to do.
-[Cerys] Okay.
-[Sam] Ah, that is sharp.
Wow, you're not mucking about,
are you?
Yet again, something
I never quite imagined
I'd ever be doing, but
I'm sorry for whatever
[Graham] You are about
to witness.
you're about to see.
Uh, you might not be able
to wipe it from your memory.
[Cerys laughs]
And so is this-is this
a complicated step
that we're gonna learn, or
This shouldn't be
too complicated.
It's a traditional step,
and usually,
the four-, five-,
and six-year-old dancers
would be competing in this one.
Mm, good luck with that, mate.
-Okay, so--
-Okay, so literally,
-tiny children do this.
So the very first thing:
you're gonna do two
pas de basque,
which is nice and simple.
It's just jump in and beat,
jump in and beat.
[Graham] Okay, you'll have
to show me that again.
So-so lift up
that back foot up and down.
-[Sam] And that goes--
-So you're standing on
you're standing on this foot?
Yeah, right up on the toes
of it.
-That's it.
-[Sam] Yeah.
And then you jump
over the other side
of the sword
and change your feet
and then lift the back one
up and down again.
-[Graham] Mm.
-Okay, so we're gonna go
-[Sam] Oh.
-[Cerys] two, beat.
-[Sam] Oh, God.
Oh, I'm absolute balls-up,
completely awful.
So you jump like that?
That's it,
and then over the other side
and then the back leg.
-[Sam] Right, what's next?
-I've kicked the sword!
-Ah, you're gonna die
-in battle.
-I'm going to die!
-You're gonna die.
-I'm gonna die.
So you can just imagine them
gathered around the fire.
-"Ah, go on, McTavish.
"Show them--oh, dear.
-Oh, dear, he's gonna die."
-[Sam] McTavish is dead.
Okay, nice and easy,
the next part.
You're gonna jump and point
your foot out to the side.
Aye, that way.
Oh, sorry.
You just jump across.
-Yeah, that's it.
-I like that.
[Cerys] Then it goes
over the way,
so it's just
out, in, over, in.
-[Sam] Out
-[Cerys] Uh, yeah.
[Cerys and Sam] In, over, in.
That's it.
You managed not to--oh, God.
[laughs] Wounded!
-Sorry, that was really petty.
-Not dead yet.
Right, well, start the music,
and, uh, let's do it, shall we?
[Graham] What, we're doing it
to music?
Okay, bow,
rise up on your feet,
and go.
[somber bagpipe music plays]

And turn over--that's it.
[Graham laughs] Ah, no!

Oh, no, I've got my back
to you now.
I can't see anything!
[Sam laughs]
Ah, it's an easy one.
You can pick it up.
Oh, oh, and I've
killed myself again!
Well done. Oh.
Oh! Well done? Are you kidding?
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
-[Sam] Three deaths
-You did really well.
to one death.
That was, uh, fantastic.
Thought I would be much better
than that.
Thank you so much
for teaching us that.
It's really difficult.
I think the bow went well.
The bow was good, wasn't it?
-The bow was brilliant.
-[Sam] That's--
I was really happy
with the bow.
[Sam] I felt pretty confident,
Cerys, thank you so much.
I think I'd rather stick
to wielding swords
than dancing over them.
There's the Highland fling,
and then there was
the Highland fiasco,
which I did, uh
-which I do apologize for.
-I'm so sorry.
-Would he get any points
for freestyle?
-Probably not, but
-[Sam] Okay.
I'm gonna say he's done
pretty good.
-You're very kind.
-[Graham] You are very kind.
Thank you so much
for showing us this.
[jaunty music plays]

[Sam with American accent]
"I love Scotland."
"Okay, Fred." "Hmm."
That was very good.
I like that.
"Okay, Barney."
Wow, I'm with Fred Flintstone.
It's amazing;
I expect to look down
and see your feet just sort of
pedaling underneath the car.
-I loved that show so much.
-[normally] So did I.
So did I. It was brilliant.
When you're
with the Flintstones ♪
[both] Have
a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪
We'll have a day old-- ♪
We'll-we'll have a--
"Gay old time"?
-Is it "a gay old time"?
-I don't know.
[dramatic music plays]
Where are we off to now?
[Graham] We've got
the marching band
that we're joining
at Calton Hill
in Edinburgh.
There is
one of the largest tattoos
held at Edinburgh Castle.
[with American accent]
Sam, what is a tattoo?
A tattoo, Mr. McTavish,
is a, I guess,
what, a celebration of military
tradition and music?
[Graham] Yeah, I think that's
a very good description.
[Sam] And they have mass bands
from different regiments
uh, and it really is
a dramatic, wonderful sight.
[normally] It's like
the sort of Soviet display
of armaments.
With bagpipes instead.
-With bagpipes.
When we meet them,
I really wanna, uh--
we need to be respectful.
You know, getting a place
in a marching band
is-is something
that people work towards
-for-for many years.
-Yeah, well, I-I--
we will take it-we'll take it
very seriously.
Yeah, I just--
you know, I just wanna--
Just don't mess around,
all right?
[bagpipes playing march]

[pipers murmuring]
[Sam] Uh
okay, guys, thanks, guys.
-[pipers laugh]
[gentle music plays]

-Yes, okay, we've stopped now.
You don't need
to keep doing it.
-Yeah, sorry.
-Yeah, listen.
Apologies, by the way,
is for what you witnessed
just now
-[Graham] when Sam was
getting a bit carried away
with the, uh
The-the stick thing.
W--[sighs] Please don't call it
a stick thing.
I think it needs, like,
more glitter and feathers
-and things.
-No, no, it really doesn't.
[Sam] Gentlemen, you're from
the Glencorse Pipe Band.
-That's right.
And, um, I believe
you're gonna play a-a song
for us now; is that right?
Which ones are you gonna play?
It's called "Scotland For Me."
-That could be--
-If you need, uh,
any more members, we're-we're
more than happy to--
If you're short
of a big bass drummer
-Or one of these guys.
-I'll give you my number.
Gentlemen, we'll leave you
to it, and, uh
Yeah, we're looking forward
to it.
-we'll be over there.
-Yes, out of your way.
-[Pete] Thanks, guys.
Thanks very much, guys.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
[Tam] Ready, quick march.
[snare drum flourishes]
[playing somber bagpipe music]

[music stops]
All right, band, pipe down.
[sweeping big band music plays]

-[dull bumping]
-Oh, God.
This, uh, camper van
has a tail now.
I think it's a large piece
of bog myrtle
that is hanging
out the back of it,
and in the camera,
it looks like we have
a-a bushy tail.
So it's the--it's bog myrtle
hanging out the back
to protect you from midges.
That's right.
Maybe we should rename
this camper van Bog Myrtle.
Bog Myrtle.
Bog Myrtle and the boys.
You know, we do
a lot of driving, and, um,
it doesn't get boring
or tedious
because I feel like I have
just a man
of many, many voices.
[with high-pitched voice]
When you first saw me naked,
what were you thinking,
and what are you thinking now?
I really think my favorite
[with Southern American accent]
is Lil' Red.
I call him Lil' Red
'cause he has a barn, you know?
He likes to-he likes to live
in the barn.
Are you gonna do this
the whole way there?
Listen, son,
I don't know, uh,
where in Scotch-land
we're going now, but so far,
I've gotta say,
there's a lot of skirts.
I don't like
to wear those skirts.
I wear men's pants.
I like to let the fly open
just to let the air in,
but I think what you do
is just excessive.
Well, I think you'll find
that the, uh,
kilt is very airy.
A lot of ventilation.
When I see you in one of them,
I wanna run the other way.
I'll be running after you.

[Graham, normally]
Where are we off to now?
We're gonna round it off
with a ceilidh.
You've been to a few ceilidhs,
haven't you?
I've been to a few ceilidhs.
Now, for those people
that don't know,
a ceilidh is usually
a meeting of people
where they sing
and play music.
[Graham] Yeah.
Uh, it's a bit
of a gathering, really.
Yes. I went to one
on the Isle of Mull,
a New Year's ceilidh.
-Oh, wow.
-And it was
-it was a madhouse.
They were six deep at the bar
at seven o'clock
in the evening,
and they weren't even t-getting
the whisky in glasses.
They were just drinking it
straight from the bottle.
-If I must
may as well join in.
Ooh! [laughs]
Now, that's more in the spirit.
[lively music plays]
[Sam] We're here
at Borthwick Castle,
just outside of Edinburgh.
We are with, uh, Finlay Lockie,
and, uh, we're at
our own ceilidh.
We have at that,
and your sporran's all aquiver.
I can see it's ready
to-ready to dance.
I'm feeling
quite sprightly myself.
[Graham] So please, Finlay,
tell us a little bit
about the history
of ceilidh dancing.
The essence of a ceilidh,
going back
really into the mists
of prehistory,
was a gathering of villages.
So it was a-a big party
in which everybody took place.
But a lot of the dances
that are best known,
like the Reel
of the 51st Division,
was actually invented
by a prisoner of war
in one of the German
prisoner of war camps
during the Second World War.
-[Finlay] And part of the idea
was that they would dance
in order to stay warm,
-because it was freezing.
[Finlay] But the dance
is rather beautiful
because part of it involves
forming a Saint Andrew's cross
across the dance,
and that was meant to be
an-a gesture of defiance
-[Sam and Graham] Right.
-a symbol of Scotland
in adversity of being
in a German war.
[Sam] That's fascinating.
Because it really is part
of our-our-our--
sort of our heritage
and our culture, this.
I mean, I--at school, you know,
I remember being dragged along
to the school hall
and being forced
to pick a partner,
and I hated--
I absolutely hated it.
-Now I cannot wait
to get to a ceilidh.
And it really is just an excuse
for a good old party.
-[Graham] Yeah.
-It is, and there's
absolutely no room for
British or Scottish reserve.
It just has to go out
to the wind, doesn't it?
-Yeah, yeah.
-You've got to throw yourself
into it with all your heart.
I can't--I cannot wait
to get going.
Right, so let's-let's get
stuck in.
Well, we look forward
to that very much.
Now, is--am I right in thinking
that Sophie's going
to teach you to
[Sam] Is Sophie gonna teach us?
[upbeat music plays]

[Sophie] Okay, guys,
I'm gonna teach you
the Dashing White Sergeant.
So it could be two men,
one woman
-Oh, right.
-Two men, one woman.
or two women, one man.
-Two women, one man?
-[Sam] Oh, even better.
What you do is,
you join hands
-We're joining hands?
-in a circle.
And you would take
eight steps to the left,
trying to do eight steps,
and then you go
eight steps to the right.
-As the leader in the middle
-You're the leader.
-I'm the leader.
I turn to my right.
-Yes? And I turn to my left?
-And you turn to your left.
And then we
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
Oh, you're doing a do-si-do.
Bit of a do-si-do
to one another.
And is this the way
you do the do-si-do,
or is this kind of freestyle?
[Sophie] I'm making it
a bit of a
[Sam] I think you can
freestyle, can't you?
freestyle. That's perfect.
-Oh, there it is.
-Too much?
-[Sam] No, more, more, more.
It's okay. I won't do it.
And then we clap,
and then we take
each other's hands,
and we spin.
What am I doing
while you're doing that?
-Looking awkward?
looking awkward.
-Oh, okay, I can do that.
you're looking awkward
and smiling.
-Sort of like a--
-It's gonna go
so horribly wrong.
And so we take
each other's hands,
and we step forwards,
one, two, three.
One, two, three.
-Stamp, stamp.
-[Graham and Sam] Stamp, stamp.
-Two, three.
Clap, clap, clap,
and then we go forwards
as a three,
holding hands,
and we duck under
[Sam] Oh, God.
the group that's coming
towards us.
[Graham] What could possibly
go wrong?
-I think we've got it, right?
-What could possibly go wrong?
-I think we've got it.
-Let's dance.
[Graham] Come on.
Come on in!
[Graham] Come on in.
Good luck, everybody.
[jaunty music plays]
-[Sophie] Whoo! Eight.

[Sam] Eight.
One, two, three four,
five, six, seven, eight.
-I go right. They go--

I go right. I go right.

-[Sophie whoops]

Oh, yes, I bowed
-when I should have not.

Ah, every time.


[Graham] Whoo!

We got it now.

Oh, hey!
My shoelace!
[Graham] I know. Mine too!
Mine too!

[Sam] Oh-ho!

Carry on without me! Just go!

Hey! Ah!


Oh, ah!
Ah! Ah!
-No, no more!
No more.
-[Graham] I know.
I came completely undone.
Completely undone.
-Look at that.
-[Sam] Oh, that's the way
to do it.
[gentle music plays]

[exhales heavily]

[Sam] Hair of the dog.
Here's to Scotland.
To the music.
-I don't know, everyone.

[easy listening music plays]
I used to sing "Greensleeves."
and a shiny head, he-- ♪
Greensleeves ♪
Blah, blah, blah, and, um--
And a bald head ♪
Bald head, no, there's no line
about bald head.
There's no line about--
But you know who wrote
-Who wrote it?
-Okay, let's see if you can--
Do you have any idea?
If you have no idea,
you will never guess.
Elton John.
Yes, one of his lesser-known
Uh, no, Henry VIII.
-He wrote it?
-Henry VIII wrote--
he-he wrote it to Anne Boleyn.
Obviously, he didn't sing it
to her
just before she had
her head cut off.

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