Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham (2021) s01e08 Episode Script

[lively music plays]
[Sam & Graham]
Oh, sons of dogs!
Of dogs of the breed!
O come, come here,
on flesh to feed!
-[shouts]
-[laughs]
♪
[Sam] On the road
to Culloden.
[Graham] On the road
to Culloden.
I feel like, in a way,
all that we've done so far
have led to this point.
To this moment.
This battle
that really changed
not only the history
of Scotland,
the shape of Scotland,
but the culture.
-After this point
-[Graham] Yeah, yeah.
Scotland became
a completely different place.
We lost a lot
of the Highland culture
and Highland ways of life.
We're following
in these footsteps
of those Highlanders
that came here on that day.
-Yeah.
-We're gonna be meeting people
to talk about the weapons, and
we're gonna be talking about--
Yeah, I'm excited
about that one.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We're gonna be talking
to a great Culloden historian.
We're gonna go
to the battlefield.
I have lots of
different emotions
going through me
at the moment,
'cause we're going
to a-a sacred place really.
Hmm, gonna be a really
interesting experience,
and I think, whew, pretty,
pretty intense, right?
Yep, I-I-I agree,
and I'm looking forward
to taking a moment today
to really think
about what those men
went through.
In the spring of 1746,
Scottish Jacobite forces
met the British
government army
on a marshy battlefield
in the Highlands
called Culloden.
They fought to determine
who should rightfully ascend
the throne
of Scotland and England.
The skirmish only lasted
60 minutes,
but its legacy has endured
for centuries.
Highland warriors
on the Jacobite side
launched into
the British line
with one of their legendary
Highland charges,
a headlong rush
into enemy gunfire
with swords and shields drawn.
Boggy conditions
and newly devised tactics
by the British commander,
the Duke of Cumberland,
neutralized the charge.
The Jacobites suffered
a devastating loss,
but the greater blow
was to Highland culture.
The victorious British
outlawed wearing tartan,
playing bagpipes,
and speaking Gaelic,
Scotland's native language.
An entire way of life
was consigned to history,
and Scotland
was forever changed.
[Graham] We are absolutely
delighted that you're here,
Alistair.
[Sam] Positively quivering.
Oh, I-I am.
No, I--really.
I'm a fan of your work,
and I've been
to a few battlefields.
I've got a sort of morbid
fascination with them, really.
But Culloden is the one
that gets me the most.
Well, it's appropriate
in a way
-because it was
a hugely pivotal moment.
-Yeah.
It was the last pitched battle
ever fought in Britain.
It was a battle fought
with bladed weapons.
-[Sam] Hmm.
-I mean, think about that.
People shoot each other
with rifles
and drones and artillery
and aircraft,
but this was up close
and very personal.
The Highlanders always put
the oldest men in front,
because they believed
that courage
flowed down the generations,
because the older men
were more experienced.
And remember,
this is a family army.
You know, brothers are
standing next to each other,
-cousins and uncles
-[Graham] Yeah.
[Alistair]
nephews and so on.
And they stand
in family groups.
Now if we have the discipline
to stand together,
to march together,
and to fight together,
then, by God,
I ken we will win together.
[all shout indistinctly]
[Alistair] In Gaelic,
there's something called
the fiadhaich,
which is the rage fit.
The fiadhaich.
A warrior gets himself
into the rage fit,
you know, before they charge.
[Graham] Almost like berserk.
My character definitely
had the--that.
-The fiadhaich.
-Yeah, fiadhaich.
Yes, I-I went
completely mental.
He generally has that
if he's hungry as well.
[yelling]
[shouting indistinctly]
I have no-no quarter, nothing.
-[Alistair] Absolutely.
-Just contempt and hatred.
But you have to because
you're not-you're not wielding
a gun.
You get right in their face.
You can smell the sweat
and you can smell the fear,
and if you don't kill 'em,
they'll kill you.
That's how you beat
the Redcoats, eh?
With a Highland charge!
[Jamie] We need surprise
for the charge to work.
-I doubt we'll be that lucky.
-[spits]
[Alistair] They gather
on the moor,
and they form up.
The sergeants march up
and down the line saying,
"Look to your fronts
and stand fast.
Don't run."
And the government army
begin an absolutely
murderous cannonade,
because they got many,
many more cannons
than-than the Jacobite army.
And then something
remarkable takes place.
Something that only
a Highland army would ever do.
The government soldiers think
that they're singing.
But they weren't
singing songs.
What they were doing, they were
reciting their genealogies.
-Yes.
-Ah.
-The incitement of battle.
-Yes.
And many men could go back
20 generations,
sometimes to
mythical ancestors.
And so each man would say
[speaking Gaelic].
And so on, "I'm the son of Rory,
the son of Dom,
the son of James,
and so on."
-And it's like a chant.
-[Graham] Yes.
[Alistair] And they recite it.
What they were doing
was they were summoning
the army of the dead.
-[Sam] Ah.
-[men shouting]
[Alistair] Unable to withstand
the cannonade any longer,
they break away
into the charge.
[men yelling]
So they charge across the moor,
but unfortunately
they'd chosen bad ground,
and so they- they slew into each other as they're charging,
and then the government army
march on,
you know,
with the red silk standards
and the taradiddle
on the drums.
What they realize
is that when a Highlander
lifts his sword arm,
he exposes his right side.
-Most of them are right-handed.
-[both] Hmm.
And so with your bayonet
on your musket,
you don't try and skewer
the guy in front.
You skewer the guy
on your right.
-[Sam] So a new tactic.
-New tactic, exactly.
And it works.
[men yelling]
[Alistair] The charge fails.
[solemn music plays]
In Outlanderwhen--
after the Battle of Culloden,
you know, and this group
of Highlanders
are sort of surrounded
by Brits,
and it's their sort of
last moments
as they're being taken out
one by one and-and executed.
[gunfire]
[Sam] It really was
quite an emotional moment,
not only for-for us
as the actors,
but also just sort of saying
good-bye to each character,
but sort of saying good-bye
in a way to Scotland as well.
It was the beginning of
the death of Highland culture.
-[Graham] Yes.
-[Sam] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
You know, without any doubt,
because on the battlefield
there were terrible
atrocities went on.
But afterwards, the Duke
of Cumberland's soldiers
were committing a genocide.
-[Sam] Mm.
-[Graham] Yes.
[Alistair]
I mean, Highlanders
were scattered
to the ends of the earth.
-[Sam] To the New World and--
-[Alistair] Yeah, I mean,
when the white-sailed ships
slipped over the horizon,
they never saw it again.
I don't want
to overdramatize it,
but the end of a--of a version
of Scotland, certainly,
-that has never returned.
-That's absolutely right.
-Thank you so much, Alistair.
-Great pleasure.
Absolutely wonderful.
Good luck on the journey, guys.
Thank you.
We're off to see an old friend
and some very sharp implements.
[Alistair laughs]
Yeah, something else
to look forward to.
[upbeat rock music plays]
[Graham] What time did you
tell him to come?
[Sam] Anytime now.
You did tell him
the right place, didn't you?
-I said--
-Doune Castle.
I said Doune Castle,
meet us here,
come for a fight,
come prepared.
-Come for a fight?
-Come for a fight, yeah.
♪
[Graham] Good lord.
-Oh God.
-[chuckles]
[Graham] You invited Charlie,
Outlander's combat expert
for a fight?
Good luck, Sam.
Guys, how you doing?
-Hello.
-How's it going?
Charlie Allan, my God.
It's been a long time.
-Yes.
-Guys, you look fantastic.
You look like uh,
Scottish warriors.
[Graham] Yeah, we're heading
to Culloden, right?
So uh, we just wanted
to talk a little bit
about um, what that
would have been like
from a Highland warrior
point of view.
These days, you know,
we're in-in a battle,
you know, you're- you're
practically miles away from
someone.
You know, it's all
kind of automated.
But in those days,
it was man v. man.
It was pretty brutal.
You can smell the breath of the
guy you were gonna be fighting.
You know, you've been
building up to it.
The adrenaline
woulda been pumping.
There woulda been
an element of fear, you know?
If any man said he had no fear
when he stepped on the field,
you know, that's mostly
what kept them alive,
'cause you fought harder.
We're gonna do some drills
with you, I think.
[Charles] First,
I'm gonna get you guys
to mirror what they're doing,
so be, like, you know,
-follow what they're doing.
-Yes.
'Cause I don't want
to put you up
against these guys
straightaway.
-Yeah, good.
-Let's get to it.
[Charles] Yeah.
So to keep you guys, uh, safe,
we're uh, gonna use
these training swords.
Okay, so setting their moves,
the first move is a thrust.
One.
Drop the sword to your left.
Cut.
Two, come back up in an X.
Three.
Four.
Five.
-[indistinct]
-Across the body, six.
-[Graham] Six.
-Across the body, seven.
-[Graham] Mm-hmm.
-Up to the groin, eight.
And over the head, nine.
And you're dead.
[Charles] Okay, so now,
we're gonna put these down
and train
with the real weapons.
Let's quickly get into it,
in your positions.
[Sam] All right,
I'm ready, come on.
[Charles] Okay, one.
-[all grunt]
-Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
-Nine.
-[shouting]
-[Sam] And bash.
-[chuckles]
That's the one.
It's- it's amazing how different
it is with this-this weapon,
how the-the weight of it,
and you start to realize
it's actually quite dangerous.
[Graham] If this was brought
down with force
and razor sharp
on someone's shoulder,
it would just cut through
them like butter.
Yeah.
[Charles] So let's put these
down, grab the Lochaber.
-Yeah.
-Ooh, yes, now this--
[Graham] Ooh, good dear.
That's gonna do a lot more
damage, isn't it?
Yes, maybe we should get one
of these for the caravan.
-The moves I showed you.
-[Graham] Yeah.
-You should be able to do
with one of these as well.
-[Sam] Yeah.
-A variation of that.
-See if we can remember it.
-Sure, that's gonna be quite--
-That's gonna be interesting.
[Charles]
You've got the basic moves.
So the thrust would be more--
[Charles] Yeah, you're gonna
have to move your feet more.
So thrust,
and then it would be over.
[Charles] One, two.
-There.
-Up three.
Four, yeah.
-Five.
-Nice one, Graham.
-Up.
-Six.
Oh, my God.
Ah!
[both] Seven, eight.
-Nine, to finish off.
-Nine.
Thank you, gentlemen, so much.
We are delighted to--
-We're ready.
-I feel we're ready.
-We've had such great training.
-We're totally ready.
We'll take these with us,
if that's all right.
-[Charles] Yeah, sure.
-Thank you.
Let's go.
[Sam] How do you get through
a door with one of these?
[Graham] Well, you're never
gonna get out, no.
[upbeat music plays]
[Sam] We're super excited.
We're on the road to Culloden.
We're ready to-to kill
some people, to be honest.
-Jim Elliot--
-Not you, not you.
No, don't worry.
You'll be okay.
You'll be safe.
Iain Bowden.
-Thanks for coming.
-Ah.
From Outlander,obviously you
are our chief armorer
-Yeah.
-On Outlander.
Iain, you-you make a lot
of the-the weapons.
-Yeah.
-That's fantastic.
What-what a skill.
Remember when
we were all lined up,
-all the Highlanders.
-In the armory.
And you sort of,
you kitted us all out
with our own
personal swords, dirks.
Yes, that's right,
and our dirks, yeah.
And uh, it was a really good
day, and you could see all these
men
basically become big-big kids,
and we were all super excited.
And the- and the characters
coming to life, actually,
because those weapons
informed the character.
It makes a difference rather
than standing just in costume.
[Graham] Totally, yeah, yeah.
I mean,
it-it gave you the weight
and the- and the sort of power
that you needed for the show.
-Boys with toys.
-Definitely boys with toys.
Well, the first thing
you gave me
was my own personal dirk,
which is, you know,
this long knife,
which I think we've got
a couple of examples of here.
Yes, oh, yeah, that--
[Graham] The dirk,
in some ways,
is, um, my favorite.
[chuckles]
[gentle music plays]
[echoing]
My favorite.
[Jamie] Leave now.
[grunting]
[chuckling]
-Very interesting.
-Ah, ah, ah.
'Cause it's just
pure aggression.
You get the--what is it,
you get the shoulder?
Bastard!
And you just pull it out of
him like that.
And then you get him
and then [indistinct],
get him like that.
Around the back
of the hamstring.
Get him on the ground,
and then get that,
and bang, bang, bang
in his face.
Sorry.
Now, the basket hilt,
here we are.
This is one of
my favorite weapons
-that we had on Outlander.
-Hmm.
So the grip here,
it's got a great grip.
Now what is that?
-That's ray skin.
-Ray skin.
[Sam] Ray skin, so it's
basically a-a shark skin.
-You got so much grip.
-[Iain] Supposedly,
even if your hands
are covered in blood,
-it won't slip.
-You'll still be able to--
Yeah, you'll still be able
to hold on to it.
Soaked in blood?
Yeah, and it wouldn't slip.
It wouldn't twist in your hand.
Alright, I just wonder whether
when they made these,
they-they sort of had that
as part of their advertising.
When your hand
is covered in blood,
it won't go slipping.
Get yourself
a shark skin blade.
Buy one of my broadswords.
[Sam] Let's talk
about the rifles.
This one's a Brown Bess.
You can see the Bess.
The British
all always had brass.
Uh-huh.
-'Cause it doesn't spark.
-Right.
But the French all would
favor the chrome.
So you can immediately
tell the difference.
The Brown Bess was
a very good weapon, wasn't it?
-[Jim] Yes, 128 years.
-Yeah.
Lasted way into
the 19th century.
Yeah, in the Napoleonic wars,
that's what- that's what stopped
Napoleon at uh, at Waterloo.
Yep.
It's quite a process,
isn't it?
To-to reload a-a musket.
You would start off.
Putting the gun in half-cock,
fill up the touch hole
with just enough gun powder
to fill it up.
-You close that.
-Close it.
Then up.
So then you put
the-the ball in here.
You'd put the ball down here,
then you take your ramrod out,
and you ram it home.
Four, five.
Reseat the ramrod
back into the pipes.
Uh-huh.
-Shoulder the gun.
-Yep.
Full cock, and then
when you're ordered to fire.
And in the meantime,
you're doing all of this
while a crazed madman
like this man--
Is coming at you and running.
[indistinct chatter]
[gunfire]
The British were really quick
at it though, weren't they?
Yes.
How many rounds
could they get off?
Well-trained,
three in a minute.
Three in a minute.
So load, fire, reload, fire.
-Three in a minute.
-And under pressure.
Well, you're gonna
show us maybe uh,
a little bit about, you know,
the-the tactic with the--
-The bayonet.
-The bayonet.
-Do we have a bayonet?
-Let's show you.
Let's ram on a bayonet.
Wow.
[Sam] This is the
bayonet technique Alistair
explained earlier.
So we got the bayonet on,
and uh, normally you'd go
for the man in front of you,
but I think you were gonna show
us what would happen at
Culloden.
Right, so there's a line of us.
We're the British.
[Graham] Yeah,
so we're the Redcoats.
Traditionally,
the man coming towards you,
I would go straight for him,
and then you'd kill me.
-Yes.
-Got it.
But I believe Cumberland--
Cumberland advised
a different tactic,
which was you went
for the man to your right.
So as you're
coming towards me,
I got for the man over there
like you do as well.
[Graham] Bash.
And all youse jocks are dead,
innit ya?
And-and importantly,
it was the discipline
that won the day
really for the British,
because if one man
didn't do that
-Uh-huh.
-You'd be dead.
If I was still going
for the guy in front of me,
I'd be, "Oh, sorry, Sam."
You'd be dead.
-Yeah, you're dead.
-And that, indeed,
did happen
further down the-the line.
It's amazing,
so it's a new modern,
or a new- a new tactic
to basically beat
this traditional
Highland charge
that was, you know,
very, very effective.
Imagining what
it would have been like,
the noise, the screaming.
Hmm.
The mist, the fog.
Basically, it was
a cold, horrible day.
The aftermath of the battle,
you know,
these just dead or dying
Highlanders on the ground,
and then the-the Brit- British
soldiers would go around
-and just finish them off.
-Finish people off.
And all they found, you know,
stab them on the ground,
and it was just horrific.
There was a British officer
that described the ground
writhing with the bodies,
the heather was writhing.
-[officer] Sergeant.
-[sergeant] Yes, sir.
[breathing raggedly]
-[blade plunges]
-[groans softly]
[strained breathing]
[light music plays]
♪
[Graham]
"Our revels now are ended.
"These our actors,
as I foretold you,
"were all spirits
and melted into air.
"And like this insubstantial
pageant faded,
"leave not a rag behind.
"We are such stuff
as dreams are made of.
And our little life
is rounded with a sleep."
♪
Here we are,
next to Leanach Cottage,
which, I believe, at the time
of Culloden was a farm,
but it was used
as a field hospital.
-[Graham] Is that right?
-Yes, it was.
It was used
for a field hospital
for about 254 men,
who were injured during
the 60 minutes of battle.
-Yeah.
-So they're coming here
to be treated, but this
is the government soldiers
and officers;
this isn't the Jacobites.
[Sam] Well, Culloden,
the Gaelic of it,
it sounds something like--
it means a bog.
-Is it a boggy place?
-[Catriona] Boggy place.
Yeah, and we're on
one of the drier spots.
-Yes.
-At the moment.
Incredibly chosen
as a battlefield
for the Highland charge.
What you've got to remember
is the Jacobites
had been here
for around six weeks
before the Battle of Culloden.
-[Sam] Six weeks, wow.
-And they are waiting
desperately on the French
breaking through
the British blockade
and delivering
men, money, and arms.
And the last seaport the
Jacobites have is Inverness,
so they've got
to hang on to it.
The main road into Inverness
runs through this place.
If you're gonna defend a city,
you need to defend
its access point,
-and that's what they do.
-[Graham] Good point.
[Catriona] And there's
very little choice.
There are five and a half
thousand Jacobites that fight
here.
The battle is 60 minutes,
and they count the casualties
from the 60 minutes of battle
and the three days following,
and there are around one and
a half thousand men that died,
and I use the word "men."
Understand the youngest people
fighting here are 13 years old.
And there are women and
children in the baggage train.
-Can I ask you a question?
-Yes.
Did Jamie Fraser
fight in this battle?
-We have-
-He's a fictional character,
Sam.
-We have
-He is?
-Five James Frasers.
-There are five James Frasers?
There are five,
but none of them are James
[both] Alexander Malcolm
MacKenzie Fraser.
Well, I think we should go and
have a look at the front line.
-Let's go take a look.
-Yes, yes.
-Amazing.
-All right, this way?
-[Catriona] This way.
-[Graham] Okay.
[gentle music plays]
♪
We're walking along
the Jacobite front line.
So this is where the Highland
charge would have started.
You are standing
on the front line.
And-and this here is where
the Frasers of Lovat were.
Yep.
[Sam] And you can see
right here
we are looking out
towards British line.
[Catriona] Yes, where you're
looking at right now
is where the Highland charge
worked.
[Sam]
And this was the distance
that these Highlanders
had to run?
[Graham] Nearly 300 yards.
[Catriona] So when it comes
to that Highland charge,
you want it to be released and
move forward at the same time
so it impacts
at the same time.
The problem is that 20 minutes
of sustained cannon fire
before the Highland charge
is released.
[men groaning]
[Catriona] The men at
the southern end are going,
"Hang on a minute,
we want to go."
[Sam] Let's go.
This is nothing
but a diversion!
Cumberland wants
to rattle our nerves.
If we stand fast
and force them
to come to us
across the moor
-[cannon ball crashes]
-Then we will have them, sir.
-The time is now.
-[all] Aye.
Sire, give the command
to charge
while there is still a chance.
[Catriona] There are
700 men who break through.
Cumberland studied
the Highland charge.
He knows how it works.
He surrounds
the 700 Jacobites
who have completed
that Highland charge,
and at that point,
the battle's over.
It is a terrible place
to have a battle,
a terrible place to die.
[birds chirping]
[man] Pipes and drums!
Far right, quick, march!
[bagpipes and drums playing]
♪
[Sam] Now we charge,
300 yards,
Just like our Highlander
ancestors.
♪
[cannon blasts echoing]
♪
[wind whistling]
[bagpipes playing]
♪
♪
[Graham] It was good of our
friend Iain to join us again,
playing "Lochaber No More,"
which was composed
in the immediate aftermath
of the Battle of Culloden.
[bell rings distantly]
Tell you what,
my heart is still
actually pounding
after that experience
at Culloden.
I mean, it was just--
what a-what a climax
to that trip--
-Epic.
-It was.
-It was.
-Because it felt like,
in a weird way,
all the roads
led to that point.
The history and-and our past
is still very much present,
and-and I feel proud to be,
I feel proud to be Scottish.
I feel proud to share this
with the rest of the world.
Yeah, the entirety of it,
the arc of it,
to end on that
was pretty special.
I do have one more surprise.
Finally, it's arrived.
No.
-Your own wee Sassenach.
-It's not true.
-Wow. Thank you.
-That's for you, mate.
You might have to share it
with me though.
What, I was gonna, like,
keep it for special--
No, you have to share it.
Come on, come on.
I'll get it for you.
There we go.
Thanks, mate.
[upbeat music plays]
[Graham] You really do get
to know somebody
when you're on
a-a trip like this.
Stuck in a shoebox.
Cheers to an amazing roadtrip.
Yeah, really.
[both] Men in Kilts:
A Roadtrip
with Sam and Graham.
Beautiful day.
What can go wrong?
Midges, agh!
Go away, midges.
It feels a little bit
like sensory overload.
-Boo!
-Ahh-ah-ah-ohh.
We've experienced the terror.
Oh.
Jesus.
-Jesus. Fuck.
-[laughs]
We are still alive.
I'm not gonna say
no thanks to you, but--
[Graham] Are you
actually peddling?
[Sam] Debatable.
You know, mate,
as much as I've enjoyed
-winding you up
-Surely not.
I couldn't think
of anyone else
I'd rather share
a roadtrip with.
[both yelling]
[groans]
Oh, it's heaven.
Is he breathing hard?
I don't think he is.
You would be my- my choice,
if we were to do it
all over again--
I really hope we do
do it all over again,
and I mean that.
It's been lovely.
It--it really has.
[upbeat music]
♪
A wee deoch an doris.
Oh, yeah,
we ended on a good one.
♪
[upbeat rock music plays]
[Graham] What are you doing?
[Sam] Someone's got to drive
us there, haven't they?
Is this yet another
of your childish ploys?
No, come on, get out.
I mean, you've--
this whole journey--
I haven't driven
the thing once.
[Sam scoffs]
Oh, it's nice here, isn't it?
It's quite comfortable.
This is lovely.
I like being driven around.
No, it's this-this way.
This side of the road.
Shut your big mouth.
Try and stay on the left-hand
side of the road.
Still got it, haven't you?
Can I ask you a question?
And this is a serious one.
-Do you need these?
-My glasses? Yes.
Well, you better put them on,
please.
Where- where are we going?
[both laugh]
Oh, my God.
[Sam] That's better.
[bagpipes and drums playing
Outlandertheme song]
♪