Minx (2022) s02e04 Episode Script

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sexiness

Who are those people,
and why do they keep taking our picture?
That's Rolling Stone,
and they're here today
doing a feature on Bottom Dollar.
I didn't come here to write
about Bottom Dollar or Minx.
I came here to write about you.
There's a whisper campaign that
a good number of our readers
- are homosexuals.
- [JOYCE] Isn't it better
if our work is interesting
to all kinds of people?
We have advertisers that are paying
specifically to reach women.
Tonight, ladies choose their partners.
Len, I was, um, thinking
about going back to Minx.
Oh. It's about time.
I would like you to consider it
my application to be your secretary.
But I need you to come up
with more ideas for Minx.
[JOYCE] I've gotten
everything I've ever wanted,
and it's happened so fast.
[SIMON] Have you ever
considered that maybe
you are exactly where you belong?
[LEE] Young woman ♪
Share your fire with me ♪

My heart is cold ♪
My soul is free ♪

I am a stranger in your land ♪
A wandering man ♪
Call me sand ♪

[NANCY] Oh sir ♪
My fire is very small ♪

It will not warm thy heart ♪
At all ♪

I could've sworn I set
my wake-up call for noon.
- Oh.
I can send up the concierge
if you would prefer.
You do know that I have a thing
for a man with a comb-over.
- Did I tell you this?
Come here.
I am very late.
I have back-to-back meetings.
You're not gonna look very professional
without your knickers on, are you?
Just saying. Do you want these back?
We're shooting the album cover today.
I could use your eye.
If you want to add another
shoot to my schedule,
then I am going to
require payment in advance.
Oh. Well, that can be arranged.
- All right.
- Yeah.
You got five minutes.
- Five minutes?
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but what if I want to, you know
Okay, 25.

[SINGER] If I was a boat on a river ♪

I guess I'd know right where I was ♪

[SINGER] Well, you won't see me ♪
Floating by facedown ♪
You just float and then ♪
You know you're feeling fine ♪
[CHUCKLING] That's three days this week.
[DOUG] 43 minutes.
It's my personal best.
I'm telling you,
you gotta try this jogging thing.
You really do. This is the
well, it's the healthiest I've
ever felt in my whole life.
Hey, boss.
I covered your office windows
so no one can sneak a peek of
[WHISPERING] Secret Project X.
[NORMALLY] Sorry, Rita. It's a secret.
We know.
- Doug?
- Mm?
As your probationary secretary,
can I ask you a question
about Secret Project X?
You can ask me anything.
Um, does it have to be a secret?
I mean, wouldn't it be more fun
if people knew what
they were excited about?
Well, it's about, you know,
keeping people guessing,
so that's kind of the idea.
Oh, but
they're not.
Well, maybe not out loud, Bambs, but
but inside, they are.
I mean, look at them.
They've got an itch inside their brains,
and they don't know how to scratch it.

But none of these people
matter anyhow, right?
We've got an audience of one,
and when Connie sees
what we are cooking up,
we're gonna be writing our own ticket.
And then I'll officially
be your gal Friday?
Absolutely we pull this off,
you're gonna get a raise and benefits.
Oh, but can I still do my own dental?
Yeah, whatever you want.
[SHELLY] I can't believe it's real!
[RICHIE] It just needs
Bella's signature.
And also, you need to
trim about 100 words
'cause I don't want to
mess with the design.
Maybe lose the bit
about Bella finding the earring?
What? It's the soul of the piece.
Ugh, you really are a writer.
Oh, it feels great to be back.
I have missed this place.
Aw. Well, we missed you too.
A lot of people here care about you,
and you sort of disappeared on us.
Well, I I needed to figure
some stuff out, you know?
- Mm. Like Bella?
And her escapades seem to
have brought some stability.
And adventure.
Yeah, Bella's been around the block now.
Those San Marino blocks
are long and leafy.
- You don't know the half of it.
But Bella started her journey
through some other neighborhoods too.
Ones with more
experimental architecture.
Think she's tempted to revisit those?
Well, Bella is in a a better place
with her husband, Gian-Paul,
and uh, Bella needs to focus on her work
while at work
and nothing else.
Do you get what I'm saying?
I'm not good at this.
No, I get it.
[SINGER] But I woke up this morning ♪
With that taste in my mouth ♪
- Oh, what's going on here?
- Oh, nothing.
Just finishing up
some stuff for tonight.
Oh, right. Your secret
special something.
- What time is it again?
- Uh
Doors open at 8:00.
[CHUCKLING] Don't worry
if you can't make it.
You work hard, you play hard.
You deserve a quiet night in.
No, I can spare 90 minutes.
[BAMBI] That's just an estimate.
I didn't factor in applause breaks.
Okay, you mind heading
in and finishing up?
Yeah. But all good, Prigger.
I mean, Connie's coming tonight,
and those are really
the only eyes I need,
so honestly, don't worry about it.
- Uh-uh.
- Okay.
- Hey!
- Oh, hi! Mwah!
- Oh, both cheeks! That's new.
Maybe I'll use that for Bella.
- Oh, you should!
- Yeah.
Listen, um, I'm just popping in.
I'm gonna drop these off,
and then I'm gonna go meet
Constance in Beverly Hills.
Oh, excuse me.
- Field trip with the boss?
- [JOYCE] Mm-hmm.
Somebody's making an impression.
I think she just wants to give me notes
on the August issue in her,
you know, natural habitat.
But anyway, it's so
good that you're back.
Oh, well, it feels great.
Everything got so shiny.
- I know.
- Right? [LAUGHS]
Oh, did you look at those revisions?
No, not yet, but I will.
I'm just you know, I'm swamped.
There's just there's
so much going on here,
and and I I'm
trying to write my book,
and I have the the
renovations on the new condo
Plus crashing at the Margaux, yes,
so I'm just getting no sleep.
Now, is that the hotel's fault
or your rock star boyfriend?
He's not my boyfriend. He is just
The famous musician
you're shacking up with.
I cannot believe this is my life
and not some story that
I'm writing in my head.
It's wild! It's almost as wild as Bella.
Where do you come up with that stuff?
Oh, well, actually
Does my hair look okay, by the way?
I did not have time
to wash it this morning
because I was having sex.
- [SHELLY] Yes, yes.
It looks perfect. [CLEARS THROAT]
[JOYCE] I'm here, I'm
here, I'm here, I'm here.
Okay, I hope you can uh, read my notes.
They got a little bit smudged.
Whiskey and, uh
mint chip.
What a Wednesday.
Well, I learned from the best.
Yes, you did. Okay, I call it
Good Clean Fun.
Oh, your dream shoot.
Okay, I am ready. Tell me everything.
A bathhouse, West Hollywood.
More men that we know what to do with.
A bathhouse? Very sexy.
Okay, what's the angle?
[RICHIE] Okay.
Communal bathing.
Men lounging, reading,
playing board games.
It's an exploration of the male form
without artifice, out in the wild.
Do you think it might be too, um
straightforward for Minx?
It's real.
You know, actual male desire.
It's, uh, it's it's very, um
Maybe I can, um, think on it. Okay.
Richie's been waiting
weeks to pitch this to you.
We've already rescheduled twice.
- We have to pull the trigger.
- Yeah.
I just I don't see how, um,
this slots into a women's magazine.
What if, you know,
it's not in a bathhouse?
What if it's the same,
but just, you know, somewhere else?
Then it would be different.
I think that we should put a pin in it
and we should think about
something more aspirational, okay?
Our centerfolds are
the ultimate fantasy.
For our female readers.
[TINA] Sounds like you
have a very clear vision.
Any fixes?
what about backstage?
A-a stolen moment with a rock
star in his dressing room?
Wow. Lightning strikes.
How'd you come up with that one?
I guess I'll go find us a rock star.
Didn't your mama ever teach
you how to turn someone down?
My mother? No.
My mother
My mother wasn't around
for that kind of stuff.
Not something you want to talk about?
No, not really.
Well, my mama is a serious bitch,
and she taught me that
if you don't like
something, you just say no.
- Who says I didn't like it?
- [TINA] You, in 40 ways.
Body language, tone
of voice, even the way
you keep scratching
the back of your head.
Okay, I feel observed.
You think it's nicer,
but it only makes everything worse.
Just be direct.
By the way, I've looked
over your work expenses.
[JOYCE] Mm-hmm?
14 valet stubs from the Margaux.
I'm living out of a suitcase.
I I I need a place to work.
You have an office.
I'm not accepting these.
- Yeah, but I'm staying
- [TINA] No.
See how easy that was?
Not a problem.
[SHELLY] Bella quivered
as Gian-Paul shivered.
Ooh, that's good. [CHUCKLES]
- [DOUG] Shel.
- Hi, Doug.
Can I talk to you?
That Bella LaRouche stuff is sexy stuff.
It really is.
I didn't expect it from a Prigger.
Oh, well, I've always
had a wild imagination.
Imagination she's married to
an orthodontist from La Cañada.
It's actually San Marino, so
Either way, I need a
little bit of that sexiness
on my special project.
My copy could use a spark.
Well, my spark doesn't come cheap.
How's a hundred bucks
and a peek on the inside?
I'm in.
You're gonna be working pretty closely
- with Bambs on this one.
- You know what?
I'm on a deadline,
actually, so I should just
Oh, come on. It's an
afternoon, and that's
[CHUCKLING] Well, that's
really all the time we've got.
So I'm gonna lock you
two girls in this room,
and please make some magic.
[BAMBI] Magic's on hold.
We have a huge problem.
The archdiocese said we
can't use their venue anymore.
Oh, no. I guess it's all falling apart.
- I'll just get back to
- No, no.
Just a little speed bump. It's a hiccup.
- Everything's gonna be just fine.
- I'm so sorry.
You give me one thing to do,
and I already screwed it up.
Oh, Bambi, it's fine.
I'll have a new venue by lunch.
But here's what I need you girls to do:
just stay in this room and grind it out
until you make something
great together, okay?

[PERSON] Sorry, appointment only.
[CONSTANCE] She has one.

- This is Betty, the designer.
- Hi.
My latest discovery.
An all-female staff
confronting the sartorial ennui
of the working women's wardrobe.
Right. Uh
okay, well, while I agree
that professional women do
need more clothing options,
I wonder if uh, fashion coverage
is beyond the scope of
[CONSTANCE] No, we're
not here for the magazine.
We're actually here for you.
I'll grab the second rack.
A little wardrobe rethink.
Multiple racks? [CHUCKLES]
Didn't realize my wardrobe was so stale.
Oh, you have beautiful style. You do.
It just needs to catch up to
the woman that you've become
and the magazine that you've
elevated so beautifully.
[CHUCKLING] Okay. That's very kind.
Thank you, Constance, but it's
I actually put a lot of
thought into what I wear.
[SOFTLY] Right.
Navy suits and pussy
bows, they got you here,
but you do not need to dress like a man
to earn the respect of one.
Not anymore.
Surely, there is something
here that catches your eye.

[CONSTANCE] What a figure!
See, I had a feeling.
Y yeah.
It feels like a bit of a departure.
No one at your level
is claiming sexuality and intelligence
with equal confidence.
We can be powerful and feminine.
Give our girls something to aspire to.
See, I had to make this
all up as I went along.
And boy, do I have
the scars to prove it.
Let me ease your path a little.
I have loved having you to look to.
It's not something I'm used to.
And I have really enjoyed having
a smart younger woman to fuss over.
No one is gonna force
you to do something
that you don't want to do.
Why don't you wear this
out, see how you feel?
If you don't like it,
we'll scrap the whole thing.

[RICHIE] You know what?
I think we might have room after all.
Bring back one of those
chunky books for her to read.
Hmm. I call it Backstage Ass.

She's not dumb. This
can't be in the magazine.
Honey, lift up your chin a little bit.
Less bored, more judgmental.
You don't care how hard
he worked on that song.
You're at 90% fuck you.
You need to bring this
thing down to about ten.
[RICHIE] Only 90?
Hey, Danny, fly in that typewriter.
She wants everyone to
know how busy she is.
Oh, um, typewriting costs extra.
- [TINA] Richie?
- Excuse me.
We both know I should be
shooting Bathhouse right now.
She's the boss, remember?
Joyce and I used to have a dialogue.
Now it feels like a lecture.
- I understand your frustration.
If you can't do this
concept, just scrap the shoot.
We'll go with a retrospective.
- Easy.
The magazine isn't even a year old.
That's creative bankruptcy.
Telling your boss to go screw
herself is career suicide.
Don't sweat it.
I already pulled some goofy,
behind-the-scenes shots.
- We can just
- Stop hurting me.
[SOFTLY] Okay.
I'll figure it out.
No, I swear.
I thought I was done,
but she kept squealing,
so I shoved both my hands back inside
and pulled out another piglet.
Oh, my God.
The things that happen
to you on the 405.
Oh, I have missed these stories.
Oh, my God, and look
how fast the work went.
Is there anything else? Are we
- No, I think that's it.
- Okay.
Should we have sex now?
Oh, n no. Uh, but no.
I um, I I can't do that again.
I just thought with you
coming back here, just
Yeah, well, I'm
Bambi, I'm back, but
we need to be friends.
No more you know.
- Orgasms.
- Yes, that.
Or any associated behaviors.
That's okay.
I love friends.
Friends are the family you choose,
and you don't have sex with family.
Unless it's your stepsibling.
And even then, you
have to keep it a secret
because of his political career.
I just want you to be happy.
Oh, I am. I'm very happy.
So am I.
- [PERSON] Beautiful, beautiful.
Yeah, you've got a lot of girls
out there that'll wanna see this.
That's nice. That's great.
That's excellent.
David, shoot more toward the camera.
Hey, Graham. Eyes over here.
[SINGER] She taught me to run ♪

My day opened up.
Let's get you in the shot.
Hey, Andy, let's get her in the shot.
She already is.
We're on the clock, hon'. Budge up.
Oh, yeah. Totally get it.
Yes, um, where do you want me to
Um, yeah, you should go over there.
Back there in the gazebo, cabana thing.

- Hi, I'm
- Joyce Prigger.
- [JOYCE] Yeah, that's me.
- Fun.
- You writing a story?
- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I could be if there's,
you know, one to tell.
You want any nuggets included?
Just make it clear
Carrie and Neil are very happy together.
- [JOYCE] Mm-hmm.
- Groupies are always circling.
Move quick if you want a drink.
They devour everything.
[SABLE] Well, you're just
in time 'cause we're all out.
- There you go.
- Mm, thank you.
- [BEBE] Love your dress.
- Thank you. [CHUCKLES]
Um, so
We're with Graham.
He wanted our eyes on this.
Did he?
And how do you know Graham?
I was at this party and got
invited onstage to play the shakers.
You don't say?
He told her that she had the best rhythm
- of any girl he'd ever met.
- [BEBE] Stop.
[VERONIQUE] Joyce, my minx,
you want something from the kitchen?
We're putting in an order.
- Um
- [SABLE] Oh, my God.
- You're the Minx lady?
- [JOYCE] Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God!
My mom loves your magazine.
Your mom? That is great.
That's so that's so great.
We have a lot of older, um, readers.
- How old is your mom?
- 32 next week.
And you're dating Graham?
Uh, would definitely not say dating.
[SABLE] So what about you?
I mean, what is Joyce Prigger
doing in the fun time cabana?
You know, that is a great question.

[SINGER] Listen to the music ♪
Listen to the music ♪
- [RITA] Hey.
- Hi.
VIPs this way.
[SINGER] Listen to the groove, yeah ♪

[TINA] Ooh, Joyce!
Looking good.
Tina! Oh, I am touched.
- Don't make me regret the compliment.
- [JOYCE] Oh.
- Isn't she stunning?
- Mm-hmm.
- How do you feel?

Like myself.
You were right. You were right.
Thank you for the push.
Aw, that's my girl. [CHUCKLES]
All right, a toast.
Doug even got me my favorite. Drambuie.
Oh, thank you.
[ALL] Cheers.
What do you think this is?
[DOUG] Ladies and gentleladies,
the show is about to begin
[JOYCE] That is strong.
[DOUG] and so please take
your seats and clear your minds,
because the journey starts now.
And that's why I deserve a raise.
[MALE VOICE] Quit yer yappin'!
Hike up that skirt
and show me those legs.
[MALE VOICE 2] Where's my dinner?
You promised me ham!
wanted your opinion,
he would've made you a man.
Et tu, padre?
It's so hard being a woman in 1973.
If only there was a
way to make a change.
I said, if only there was a way
to make a change!
[SCOFFS] A dirty lamp?
A woman's job is never done.
[GASPS] A magic genie?
I'm here to grant you three wishes.
Hmm, wow.
I guess my first wish would
be to find a man who gets it.
[GENIE] Your wish is my command
at Club Minx!
[DOUG] That's right, ladies!
Welcome to the club where
you come first and often!
[SINGER] When you gonna wake up ♪
[DOUG] Don't worry about dinner tonight,
because what Maurice has
cooking is piping hot!


Don't get your panties in a bunch.
Ivan's here to take 'em off
- and iron them.
[SINGER] Hollywood high ♪
Hollywood high ♪
- Oh

[DOUG] Are you feeling
underappreciated, ladies?
Well maybe tonight Nestor can help,
'cause he's gonna take really
good care of your children.
And last but definitely
not least, ladies,
remember you're not
alone in this revolution.
Oh, no!
Because my guy Xavier
isn't afraid to fight
for your rights!

[Mantis' "Hollywood Eyes" playing]

[SINGER] They say in
Hollywood the garden grows ♪
They say in Hollywood
that everyone knows ♪
Oh ♪


Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!
That's how you start a show, boys!
Sexy, sexy! Keep
fluffing, keep fluffing!
Doug, last looks on Maurice.
Let's just see.
Stick this in there. Don't be shy.
- For real?
- It's not a judgment.
It's stagecraft, Mo.
Just do what I'm asking.
[BAMBI] All the letters I can write
are not as fair as this.
Syllables of velvet,
depths of ruby, undrained.

And a bathhouse was too much?

- Where's Joyce?
- Depends.
Where'd you land on the shoot?
Deadline's a deadline.

Now, am I supposed to
find the baby attractive?
Because I do.
But is that the intention of the piece?
Probably best to not
think about it too hard.
Hey, Xavier. Come here
for a sec, would ya?
Anything you need, Mr. Doug.
Okay, you see that woman over there?
[DOUG] See the one I'm pointing at?
[XAVIER] Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You got something special in you, man.
- Know what I mean?
- Mm.
You've been working
your whole life for it.
Well, now's the moment.
I want you to go make
that woman feel alive
the way only the X-man can.
You know, my name actually isn't Xavier.
- Yeah, I get it, I get it.
- Okay.
But that's what I'm
gonna need from you, okay?
No, no, no, no, no.
Sexy baby's on stage.
Just give him a second.
You have one final wish.
Use it wisely.
- I wish women ruled the world.
As the next President
of the United States,
do you promise to protect life, liberty,
and the pursuit of
- sexiness?
I do, America.


[SINGER] Friends say it's fine ♪
Friends say it's good ♪
Everybody says ♪
It's just like Robin Hood ♪

I move like a cat ♪
Charge like a ram ♪
Sting like a bee, babe
I wanna be your man ♪

Well, it's plain to see ♪
You were meant for me ♪
Yeah, I'm your boy ♪
Your 20th Century toy ♪

Friends say it's fine ♪
Friends say it's good ♪
Everybody says ♪
It's just like Robin Hood ♪

[ALL] M-I-N-X!
- What club is this?
- [ALL] Club Minx!
Yeah! So good!
So sexy, guys!
That was excellent.
Really good, really good.
Hey, tip these guys out,
okay? Give 'em some real money.
I'm so proud of you guys!
Block off '73 and '74!
We got a fucking hit!
I love you guys so much.
You said you wanted a big
idea, I gave you gravity, huh?
I haven't been this entertained
since Nat King Cole sung at my wedding.
Oh, I knew it!
But this is just the start!
I want to start with
medium-size markets,
two troupes, East Coast, West Coast.
- Really just
- Joyce has some concerns.
[DOUG] Oh, yeah. I saw you.
You seemed to be very
concerned with my pal Xavier.
The show was really fun.
It was acrobatic,
and the men had impressive physiques.
Oh, these boys have rock-hard bodies.
It takes real dedication,
and they got it.
- I saw you liking it.
You throw a great party.
[DOUG] Oh, thank you.
But I don't want to be the host of it.
It just it wasn't Minx.
Well, what are you talking about, right?
Minx is so much more
than a magazine now.
We can be whatever the
fuck we want, right?
No one at our level
is claiming sexuality and
intelligence with equal confidence,
and this was one of those
things, but it just
I don't see a world where
it ever becomes both.
You said you wanted to be wowed, right?
Well, were you fucking wowed tonight?
Yes, and as much as I enjoyed myself,
I have to defer to Joyce.
That was our deal.
But Joyce, you look at that.
Sexual liberation on display.
Doug, the answer is no.
I'm sorry.
[SINGER] And she treats me ♪
Like I don't care ♪
I can barely hear the "fuck you."
- [RICHIE] Joyce loved them.
- Of course she did.
- These are amazing.
- [RICHIE] Mm.
Bathhouse would've been better.
You weren't really gonna do
a retrospective, were you?
No. Even I know that's a bad idea.
You know, you're really good
at this whole managing people thing.
[TINA] It's my job.
But I'm not sure I like
it when you do it to me.
Sometimes you're the job.
But you're worth it.
Look what you can do.
You think anyone else
knows how good we are?

Not a chance.
[SINGER] To have and to hold ♪
To say in my soul ♪
[SHELLY] Chin up, okay?
No one can take away
what you did out there.
Hey, I know it hurts.
I mean, I only worked on it a day,
and I'm very disappointed.
I can't imagine how you're feeling.
When you dream something up
and someone just takes it away
I don't think I have it in me.
Business is so mean.
It is mean,
but you just need a good
night's sleep, you know?
[BAMBI] Will you stay a little longer?
I just need a friend.
I don't want to be alone tonight.

You know what? I wish
I could, but I just
I I have to get home.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.

What a waste.
You know, I haven't had a
boss since I was 16 years old,
and now I have two,
and one of them is
Joyce fucking Prigger.
I was wondering when you
were gonna figure that out.
I have been busting my ass.
I've been working so hard, Tines.
And what do I have to show for it?
A Rolls-Royce, a six-figure deal,
and how many Speedos did you buy?
Minimum was 2,000.
I got a little cocky and bought 4,000.
You could uh, slap a Minx logo on 'em.
Please don't.
What do you say we
hop in your fancy car,
drive up the coast,
get lost where no one can reach us?
Only if you drive so I
can get drunk in the car.
You never said goodbye.
I was told not to interrupt the talent.
- I made a mistake.
I wanted you there, it's
just I don't know.
Sometimes sometimes I get caught up.
You're a star, Graham.
And you should enjoy that.
I plan on doing the same.
Just not with you.
Come on.
- Don't be mad.
- I'm not.
Look, we had a lot of fun,
and you introduced me
to my new favorite hotel.
All right. Okay.
Well, can we at least just
- Good night, Graham.
- Okay.
If you change your mind
I'll be over here.
- Was that
- Yeah.

[JIM] Thunder and
lightning in my eyes ♪
And when the train ♪
Began to move ♪
Then she waved goodbye ♪
To being for a while ♪

All the air ♪
Just seemed quite foggy ♪
To me ♪

We have spoken in a way ♪
And I knew ♪
That I had known her before this day ♪
Echoing inside the ♪
Memories ♪
Still unknown to me ♪
Do you know the feeling? ♪
Can you love someone ♪
You've only met ♪
A while ago ♪

Is it just a life ♪
A lifetime gone ♪

Sing ba-da-da-da ♪
Da-da-da-da ♪
Da-da-da, da-da-da ♪
Ba-da-da-da-da, da-da-da ♪
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