Minx (2022) s02e08 Episode Script

Woman of the Hour

I have loved having you to look to.
And I have really enjoyed
having a smart, younger woman
to fuss over.
Which one of you had
sex with my husband?
No, I mean last month.
There's a whisper campaign
that a good number of our readers
are homosexuals.
Our centerfolds have to
be the ultimate fantasy.
For our female readers.
So what do we gotta do, fill 12 pages?
Richie, what do we got to pull up?
[RICHIE] The bathhouse.
Set already exists.
In and out, four hours max.
I let go of my dreams
to take care of you.
Why can't it be my turn?
[DOUG] Connie is a butcher, Tins.
She's just fattening us
up so she can unload us.
Maybe Bottom Dollar's
outlived its usefulness.
So you're choosing
Constance over me, huh?
I'm choosing me over you.
[CONSTANCE] Thank you
for the beautiful pastries, Archie.
Most kind.
The estate feels so empty without Yorgi.
[ARCHIE] I miss him too.
He was a good man.
I'm gonna need your
counsel now more than ever.
You have my steadfast loyalty.
What are we gonna do about
that captains' strike?
The board's rejected
your latest proposal.
Your support of the union
is testing their patience.
So they want to use my husband's death
to cheat those poor
men out of their wages.
[ARCHIE] The board's
allegiance was to Yorgos.
They tolerated you while he was ill,
but not anymore.
Yes, Yorgos was incredibly successful
for a man in a three-year coma.
Yes. They're old-fashioned.
[CONSTANCE] They're women-haters.
But not you, my trusted Archibald.
You've been by my side
since Yorgi made me his
partner, haven't you?
Which makes it all
the more heartbreaking
that you were the one to betray me.
[SINGER] Darling, hold me closely ♪
You left me no choice.
Business is about profits,
not kindheartedness.
I am not kindhearted.

[TERESA] A woman's world ♪
Can sometimes get so blue ♪
[JOYCE] Mothers, wives,
women of the world,
we are all at a crossroads.
[TERESA] And there's
no one home but you ♪
Although you've become his wife ♪
You don't get to share ♪
Very much of his life ♪
'Cause you live ♪
In a woman's world ♪

A woman's born to make a man a home ♪

You cook and clean ♪
[TERESA] All the
time that he is gone ♪
Hey, guys, my shift just ended,
so my man Rory's gonna
be taking care of you now.
Merci beaucoup.
Thank you.
Are you sure you have
never been to Paris?
You are, how you say, um, snooty.
It is very French.
[CHUCKLES] That's just my face.
When you come to Paris, I will take you
to my favorite patisserie in Le Marais.
- Mm.
[DOUG] How you guys doin'?
Prigger. I'm glad you're here.
I've givin' away all
my shit, but I saved you
- something nice.
- What?
[DOUG] Do you want my booze cart?
No, Doug, I don't have
time for this right now.
Neither do I. I got a date with death.
You've what?
I got a "Come see me"
from the boss lady,
and you know what that means.
The axe is about to fall.
So do you want the,
uh, booze cart or no?
No. Look, you might have told me
about the bathhouse
shoot back in the woods.
Look, I'm sorry.
This'll be the last time
old Doug Renetti disappoints you, okay?
I highly doubt that.
Have you seen Richie?
Yeah, he's in the layout room.
But be easy on the kid.
He's had a rough 36 hours.
I know. I talked to Shelly.
I will take the whiskey.
- Just the whiskey?
- [JOYCE] Yeah.
I'm givin' you the fuckin' cart.
[SINGER] But last
Monday I got the fever ♪
Tellin' me that I got to go ♪
Oh, my God. Richie, are you okay?
Could be worse.
[JOYCE] I am so sorry
that this happened.
These photos are incredible.
I was there with a
camera. I had to use it.
But you're not here
to compliment my work.
No. We have a magazine problem.
Constance stopped the press.
Oh? And why is that?
You know we can't print these, Richie.
- The subject matter
- Naked men?
In our naked man magazine?
It's not what our
advertisers expect to see.
It's not what our readers expect.
Just say it already.
Minx isn't supposed to be for gay men.
So you're happy to take our money
and have us behind the camera,
just as long as you don't have
to acknowledge that we exist?
Look, Minx is about to become
the premiere international
women's magazine.
Now just isn't the time to shine a light
on our male readers.
Well, we both know what happens
when you keep us in the shadows.
Oh, come on. That is not fair.
Richie, it's not about you.
It's not about me anymore either.
- It's about something
bigger than that, and
we have to protect it.
Which is why we're gonna run
a one-year retrospective instead.
- [RICHIE] Excuse me?
- I'm sorry.
We've run out of time.
I just put together
this issue twice, Joyce.
- [JOYCE] I know.
- I'm not doing it again.
You figure it out.
The two of us have come
to an important decision,
and we thought that you should
hear it from us, together.
And-and we just want you to know
that we love you no matter what.
And in no way is any of this your fault.
No. We've decided to separate.
We had no idea.
But-but you could still come
to parties separately, right?
We-we can keep this going.
Odd numbers in this
scene are tricky, Gary.
- You know that.
Where did this come from?
I mean, it's been a journey.
And-and you all have
been instrumental, truly.
I mean, our parties,
the freedom I felt
I mean, it-it showed me there are
so many different ways to be me.
Hold on a second.
How is this going to work?
What about holidays?
- Our Tahoe ski trip?
- Oh.
That's-that's all gonna
have to be figured out,
you know, with Shelly in Italy.
It just worked out with
Doreen's sabbatical.
Doreen is Shelly's new lover.
She's a professor
at Vassar.
Oh. That'll do it.
But I'll be back.
We just don't know when.
[SHELLY] Right.
Could we have been doing
same-same this whole time?
[BAMBI] 80,765, 80,766,
80,767, 80,768,
Am I an accessory to something?
This is nine years of
my Bottom Dollar salary.
I've never cashed a
paycheck until this morning.
What? H-how do you pay for anything?
Through the kindness of strangers
and also the settlement.
Okay, well, that's definitely something
we should explore.
Um, but first, I need you to
drop these off at the
printers by eight o'clock.
"A Year of Minx." Oh, no.
Did some of the bathhouse
boys also commit momicide?
Nope, uh, we had to replace
them for more nuanced reasons.
Mm. I see.
So if you could just drop them off
on your way to the party
My shift is over, so
I will need overtime
and a mileage reimbursement.
We all know gas prices are [WHISTLES]
due to that hinky OPEC situation.
Overtime approved.
Great. I'd like my payment up front.
- Oh, up yeah.
- [BAMBI] Yep.
Sure. Uh, can you break a 50?
Hmm. Let's see no.


I think we settled on four?
- Four separate ones?
- [TINA] Only four?
[LORRAINE] Yeah, four.
Oh, do you do you
need to speak to that man?
No. No, I do not.
Mrs. Papadopoulos will
see you in the War Room.


[CONSTANCE] Oh, good eye.
That one's priceless.
And sharp.
Best things usually are.
So, I know that you're
dissolving Bottom Dollar.
- Yes, I am.
I was hoping to tell you myself, but
Well, I gotta say, this is not how I saw
things turnin' out between us, Connie.
No, me neither.
Well, my publishing
experiment has been
Not too many creative
types in shipping, but
I have made some big mistakes.
What mistakes were those?
[CONSTANCE] Not publishing
your science magazine,
killing the dance club,
thinking that Joyce could
take it to the next level
and run this company better than you.
Don't get me wrong.
We need Joyce
and all the other little
Joycettes that we have found,
but what I really need is you
to manage them.
PRG. Papadopoulos Renetti
[CHUCKLES] Global?
Well, Bottom Dollar was quaint,
but we're way, way past that now.
Right, yeah. Um [CLEARS THROAT]
So that would make me the, uh
the CEO then.
No. President.
- President? [CHUCKLES]
That's exactly what I was thinkin'.
Mm, well, you'd be working
under me and me alone.
- So, um, Joyce
- [CONSTANCE] Mm-hmm.
Would be reporting to me, then.
Yes. And Tina too.
Kind of like me and
Yorgi, before the stroke.
You have made the right call here.
Oh, of course I have.
Listen, tonight, we're gonna be meeting
with international advertisers,
press, VIP from all over the world.
And I'm sorry, but this ensemble
that you're wearing, it's
just not gonna cut it.
What are you?
42 regular.
Since I was about eight years old.
Follow me.
[STAN] Everyone thinks sayin',
"Stop the press" is some big thrill.
It's a nightmare.
There's 17 buttons and levers
you have to press and
pull in a specific order.
It wasn't my decision.
And paper doesn't just
magically disappear.
I have to reach in
and I have to pull it all out myself.
They don't pay me for my opinions, Stan.
They pay me for my time
and sometimes my gasoline.
Oh, kiddo. I know that tone.
- You feeling
- Lost? Yeah.
I was pretty down myself
about six months ago.
Then I found Pastor Jim.
Who's that?
Oh, you'd love him, Bambs.
He's doing some really important work
at the Peoples Temple on Alvarado.
He's a, uh
mesmerizing spirit.
Would you say there's a familial
quality to the congregation?
Some people even call him Father.
Write this down.
1365 South Alvarado.
Jim Jones.
[CHUCKLES] Woman of the hour.
- I'm Lorraine.
Anything you want,
anything you need, just ask.
Wow. Thank you, Lorraine.
No, thank you, for all
that you've done for women.
I wouldn't be divorced without you.
- Happy to help.
[LAUGHS] Come see everything.
Oh, my God!
[GASPS] Oh, God, I remember
cutting and pasting this
on the floor of my bedroom.
[LORRAINE] A-and look.
You accurately predicted
Title IX as a preteen.
Yeah, well, I guess
I got one thing right.
[SCOFFS] Tonight is not the
night for modesty, Ms. Prigger.
You earned all of this.
- Thank you.
Very nice.
- [LIESL] Joyce!
Liesl, hi!
- Deonna. Isabel!
- Hi.
[JOYCE] It's my international team.
Hi! Hi.
Guten Tag, Joyce.
Guten Tag.
I am filled with giddiness and joy.
Oh. Oh, good.
Yeah, me too.
Mrs. Papadopoulos will see you upstairs.
Oh. Okay.

- Ay, Cristo. I'll try.
[CONSTANCE] Southern
Europe. All this right here.
Ah, there she is, our shining star.
Sorry, am I interrupting something?
We're just plotting
our European conquest.
Thank you, Winnifred.
[WINNIFRED] Mwah. Mwah.
I'm delighted to be working together.
You have my assurances, the
Continent is in good hands.

I guess we hired Winnifred.
Yeah, but all of your other choices.
It was my idea.
Every European you
picked was a socialist.
I needed at least one
capitalist to talk to.
Well, better her than the Nazi.
Descendent of Nazis.
Let's see what you got.
- I know it was a quick turnaround.
- Yeah.
Richie went for a retrospective?
Uh, nope, not exactly.
Daniel and I pulled this together.
Richie should be very proud.
- This is some of his best work.
- [JOYCE] Mm-hmm.
Oh, but this
the Bella LaRouche piece,
no, it's not gonna work.
What? I loved it.
Oh, come on, it was
it was brave and honest
and moving, about a
woman's self-discovery.
Eh, in the arms of another woman.
Okay, um, I understand
why we would remove
material that skews male,
but this is a story about a woman.
It's for women.
Yeah, but not women like us.
A-a piece like this
just gives our enemies
an opening to attack
the entire movement,
calling us man-hating,
anti-family, lesbians.
Joyce, we have worked too hard
to make feminism mainstream.
I'm not gonna jeopardize that
by giving those people a platform.
Pulling Bella would
mess up our page count.
We'd have to rearrange the layout.
So we run the first Bella story again.
Stick with the retrospective theme.
- I guess that would work.
All right, well, I'm gonna
need you to go to the printer.
You want me to go now?
Yeah, we go to print at 8:00.
You're really the only
person I trust with this.
Joyce will stay here at the party.
She is the woman of the hour.
That's about all the time I have.
Mm. Oh, and stop by the kitchen.
Dimitri has some snacks
that you can take in the car.
[CONSTANCE] You're upset.
[JOYCE] Look, Minx is supposed
to be a champion for all women,
and this is just isn't "all women."
[CONSTANCE] Mm-hmm. I get it.
This is personal for you.
But we can't fight for everyone.
Believe me, I have been down that road.
Yeah, but just because you lost then,
it doesn't mean that
we're gonna lose now.
Honey, if you wanna win the war,
you have to fight one battle at a time.
Oh, come on, Joyce.
You understand the value of compromise.
Isn't that how Minx got started?


[DOUG] Hey, Tins!
What are you doin'?
You makin' a run for it?
Yes, and I don't want
to do this right now.
You don't want to do what?
I'm just sayin' hi to you.
Who dressed you?
Connie did.
And she made me the
president of her company.
I told you she had a master plan.
It turns out it was fuckin' me.
- Wow.
You always land on your feet, don't you?
You know, that should be a compliment,
but it doesn't feel like one.
Hey, if you're worried
about your position
in the new company, don't be.
I know your value. I can
be an adult about this.
Sure, now that you're back in charge.
Come on, Tina. That's not how I see it.
[TINA] I have to go.
[DOUG] All right, well, take the Rolls.
- It's parked out front.
- [TINA] I'll drive myself.
[DOUG] Tina, please.
You were just the first person
I wanted to share my news with.
She made me the president
of the whole thing.
Good for you.

[SERVER] Drink, Ms. Prigger?
Sure. Thank you.
[SINGER] Kick it in
the head when he was 25 ♪
Speed jive ♪
Don't wanna stay alive ♪
When you're 25 ♪
And Wendy's stealing
clothes from Marks and Sparks ♪
- Joyce.
- [JOYCE] Hello.
The woman of the hour.
[SINGER] From ripping up the stars ♪
From his face ♪
[BOTH] Hello.
[PERSON] Hola.
[SIGHS] Thank you.
You look good as a banner, kid.
I look like a slutty dictator.
[DOUG] I thought that's
what you were going for.
[JOYCE] Okay. What are you going for?
Well, it's a dead man's suit,
but I think I look pretty good.
He had pretty good taste.
Why didn't anybody run
any of these covers by me?
[DOUG] 'Cause they're decorative.
They don't exist after tonight,
so don't worry about it.
Yeah, well, I feel like
I am losing control here.
I understand the
feeling, but you're not.
You're fine.
No, I think you were
right about Constance.
I think she's she's
turning us into something
- that we are not.
- [DOUG] Something better.
No. What?
[DOUG] In less than a year, she
took us from the Valley to Vienna.
And isn't that your whole thing?
To get your message out to the masses?
Yeah, but at what cost?
I don't think I even know what
the message is anymore, anyway.
[DOUG] Look, if you want purity,
do this shit out of your house.
But nobody gets this big
without giving something up.
No one.
I know, but it's
is it weird to say that I liked it more
when it was just the two of us?
It is just the two of us.
Only our clothes got better.
- [SHELLY] Tuscany seems hilly.
But Doreen insists
cycling is the only way.
How far is it to the
Vatican? Can we bike there?
No, it is very far.
[SHELLY] Oh. Ooh, we
could take the train.
How do you say "train"?
Oh, fun-o.
- Love that.
- Hey.
We don't want it, right? [CHUCKLES]
Eccoci qua.
Shelly, we need to talk.
[CONSTANCE] Thank you.
Thank you all for coming to the Reach,
where the Pacific promises possibility.
Tonight, we celebrate
the culmination of a dream
that began in a young girl's bedroom
and has grown into a global publication
reaching millions of women.
I am very proud to
call that young dreamer
a friend, a colleague,
and an inspiration.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
the woman of the hour, Joyce Prigger.
Okay, where is my Joyce?
I'm such an idiot.
I cannot believe how close I came
to sacrificing everything.
I can't believe we're in a stolen car.
I feel like Bonnie and Clyde. [CHUCKLES]
Does it go any faster?
- Oh!
Good Lord.
Well, it seems Joyce is, uh,
getting some hors d'oeuvres perhaps?
[DOUG] Constance Papadopoulos!
How 'bout a round of
applause for Constance?
Let's make it a big one!
What a what a wonderful woman.
What a great night.
Obviously, I'm not Joyce Prigger.
I don't think any of you
expected Joyce Prigger
to have a beard and look like this, huh?
- Who knew she was so pretty?
uh, but she did want me to
say something on her behalf.
So what I'm gonna do right now is,
I'm going to, um
I'm gonna relay a message of hers.
You know you're gonna
get fired for this, Missy.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is a career-ender.
But you know what?
It's time I stopped agreeing to things
just because people tell
me it's good for business.
Well, you don't have to do this for me.
I mean, you should,
but you don't have to.
No, I'm-I'm not doing it for you.
I mean, of cour I am, of course.
- Okay.
- But I'm doing it
for, you know for
Richie, for everyone.
- I just
- Okay.
Oh, God, I hope it's
not too little too late.
[GRUNTS] She couldn't see
the light six hours ago?
Everybody moves at their own speed.
Yeah, well, your speed's
gonna get us T-boned
if you run another red.
- [BAMBI] Whoa!
[RICHIE] Oh, Jesus
Christ! Aw, what the fuck?
God, I can never remember,
does that mean stop or
proceed with caution?
[RICHIE] What caution?
[BAMBI] Uh-oh.
I've wasted so much time
looking for a woman to show me the way,
when you were right there.
You were right there all this time,
two steps ahead, and
you know, I-I never would have
gotten this far without you.
And now I've-I've-I've
stolen your best years.
Well, I think these are my best years.
And then Mom turns up in Sacramento
with a whole new family?
Oh, boy, we're talking about Mom now?
Yeah, I think I'm
ready to talk about Mom.
[DOUG] "Mothers, wives,
women of the world,
we are all at a crossroads,
and we need a guide
not leading, not
following, but by our side.
- A gentle warrior."
- [LENNY] Guys hey, stop.
- [MILLIE] Stop fighting!
- [LENNY] Just stop that.
- All of that.
- [DOUG] A woman's voice.
[TOMMY] I'm not farting. You're farting.
- [BOBBY] You hit like a baby.
- [TOMMY] Dad!
- Can you please hi.
- [BOBBY] Stop whining.
Can you please get in the back?
Just stay in the back, please.
[BOBBY] Oh, you got your boogers on me!
- [MILLIE] No!
- [LENNY] Oh, my
[BOBBY] Booger-eater.
- Hey.
- [BOBBY] Pee in your pants.
- [BAMBI] Ooh, I call middle.
- [TOMMY] Shut up!
- [BOBBY] Shut up.
- [BAMBI] Excuse me.
Ooh! Uh, thank you so
much for rescuing us.
I always wanted to see
unincorporated Monrovia.
Please tell me you
have a full tank of gas.
I am a dad. I fill up
the second the needle goes below half.
- God bless you.
- [LENNY] Yeah.
We only have 20 minutes, so chop, chop.
- We're good? Everyone sitting
- Yes! Hurry!
- Yes!
[BOBBY] You're the least favorite.

[DOUG] Well, we've still
got a little bit of time.
But you've seen enough of me, huh?
So let's bring out the
Minx international editors.
Girls, you mind comin' up
on stage, showin' your faces?
Four continents and eight countries.
[LENNY] It's only been eight hours,
and already it is nonstop.
Shelly's always talking about
what a great dad you are.
- I'm sure
- Yeah, well, the chaos
that this whole thing has brought,
Do you hear that?
[BAMBI] In through your nose
- Out through your mouths.
how did you do that?
Oh, six lives ago, I
was a pranayamic guru.
It's like riding a spiritual bike.
You never forget, and even if you do,
- it's no big deal.
Well, the silence is intoxicating.
Hey, Lenny, I'd love to lend a hand
while Shelly's away.
Are you serious?
I mean, I'm happiest when
I'm helping people, so
it seems like you need a lot of help.
Y-you have no idea what that would mean.
It'll be fun.
We can play board
games, go on field trips.
I just heard about this
amazing temple on Alvarado.
Maybe we could take them
Excuse me, this is so touching,
but can we please speed it up?
Right. Yes.
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
[SINGER] Making our music there ♪
I cannot tell you how good
it feels to say all that.
Well, the next step is
telling Mom yourself.
Dripping Springs is
only a two-day drive.
- Where are you going?
- Sunland?
Your printer's in Sun Valley.
- I knew that.
[SINGER] Smoke on the water ♪
A fire in the sky ♪
[DOUG] Okay, everyone feelin' good?
Okay, let's do it before
they lose their visas.
Did Joyce lose her stomach?
No, she sometimes gets in her head,
but she'll be fine.
Well, if she isn't,
we have a lot of options.
Okay, ready?
Minx on three.
One, two, three.
- [ALL] Minx!

[JOYCE] Come on! We're
five minutes late!
[RICHIE] Of all the
days to wear platforms.
They called looking
for me and you answered?
Uh, Bambi made it sound
like life or death.
Can always count on you to save the day.
Wait, don't you want
to see if we make it?
- Kind of.
- Come on.
I'll-I'll be back!
[SHELLY] What are the kids doing?
[LENNY] They're, uh,
breathing deeply, I think?
Yoga maybe.
- Brahmin yamin
[JOYCE] Okay, how does this thing work?
[RICHIE] Why are there
so many flashing lights?
- Look for a red button.
- Thi I just press it myself?
[TINA] It's not one button.
- It's 17 buttons and levers.
- Oh, shit.
I had a feeling you were
gonna try something stupid.
Look, Tina, things have gone far enough.
It is time to set things right.
You don't have to convince me.
I already bought us another 30 minutes.
The second Constance trotted out
"women like us," I was done.
Yes. Me same. Yes, me too.
So what's the plan?

[JACKSON] Doctor, my
eyes have seen the years ♪
And the slow parade
of fears without crying ♪
Now I want to understand ♪
I have done all that I could ♪
To see the evil and
the good without hiding ♪
You must help me if you can ♪
Doctor, my eyes ♪
Tell me what is wrong ♪
Was I unwise ♪
To leave them ♪
[LENNY] Brought us some,
uh, victory pastries.
- [TINA] Ooh.
- [JOYCE] Aww, thank you.
[LENNY] Gave the shipping guys 20 bucks.
So are all of you out of jobs now?
- [JOYCE] Uh, yeah. Pretty much.
- Uh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah, most definitely.
- [BAMBI] Wait, I don't get it.
Can't Constance just stop
the magazine from coming out?
Sure, but after I send copies
to every media outlet in the country
along with my scorching
resignation letter,
everybody will know what we did.
I think I'm about to go to
war against my own magazine.
No. We're going to war.
[TINA] I don't know what
you're talkin' about.
I'm going to Paris.
Okay, fine. Then to war. [CHUCKLES]
I hope this is a chapter in your book.
- This is the book.
- [SHELLY] Oh.
[RICHIE] This is the book right here?
[SHELLY] This is the book.
- [TINA] Okay.
- [JOYCE] To us.
- [SHELLY] To us.
- [BAMBI] Oh, to us.
[ALL] To us!
- [BAMBI] Aw, dang it.
[JACKSON] Just say if
it's too late for me ♪

Doctor, my eyes ♪
[CONSTANCE] Douglas. Come back to bed.
[JACKSON] Is this the price ♪
For having learned how not to cry? ♪
Doctor, my eyes ♪
Cannot see the sky ♪
Is this the price ♪
For having learned how not to cry? ♪

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