Miracle Workers (2019) s04e10 Episode Script

The End

BOTH: Bachelors!
This is the life. Yeah!
No wives, no responsibilities.
Just a boss, his employee,
having goods times with their pants off.
I gotta admit, it is pretty fun
doing whatever the hell I want.
What's next on the Bachelor Bucket List?
Ooh, let's see.
Alright. [MUSIC STOPS]
"Do the dance from 'Risky Business'."
Yeah. Check.
"Leave toilet seat up after peeing."
Oh, big check-a-rooni.
"Beat all-time jerk-off record."
Uh, what? I-I mean,
I didn't do that one.
Yeah, me neither.
Somebody else must've checked it off
and put a huge smiley face next to it.
Wait, is that
is that really the whole list?
Yeah, I guess there's just
a lot less to do
as a bachelor than I remember.
Are you kidding me?
The world is our oyster.
Come on!
Hey, do you dare me to drink
this nasty cocktail
I made from all the condiments
in my fridge?
Oh, no. Actually, you know what, Morris?
I think I'm just gonna go home
and wait for Freya to come back.
But thank you so much for this.
This This was really awesome.
- Alright, you dared me!
- Okay, I didn't.
Watch. I don't want to.
Oh, that's horrible.
I mean, dude, you're missing out.
Oh. I'm gonna hurl.
Sid, we're back from the Wasteland.
I brought you some sand.
Freya? Freya!
Sid! Oh.
I don't want another day to go by
where I don't wake up by your side.
Okay. I missed you, too, boy.
Alright. Off.
Oh, boy. How was the trip?
Yeah, had a fun time with the War Dogs.
You know, we chopped off
some heads, I bit a horse.
The usual.
But I ended up resigning
as their warlord.
Whoa. Uh, Freya,
you know I would never ask
you to do that, right?
No, no, no. It's okay.
It's just It's not who I am anymore.
I think I'm ready for a new adventure.
- Does that mean
- Yeah.
Yeah, I wanna do the stupid baby thing.
And I still hate the baby,
but sounds like this ship
has sailed on that, so, yeah?
Okay, guess that's that.
See, guys? Everything worked out,
and now all we have to do
is live happily ever
- after?
It's hard to hear you over
that scary, mechanical roar.
This is it.
The day when machines destroy
humanity once and for all.
Jeez, there's like a million
of these things.
Why do people care about this planet?
It sucks.
You know, you really didn't
have to come all the way out here.
I'm happy to lead
the robot army by myself.
Especially if it means getting back
at my ex-best friend Freya.
You'll get your chance, TI-90.
Just think a future
where robots rule the world,
where you never have to grow older
or evolve as a person,
where you can keep doing
the same old shit
you've always been doing
for the rest of eternity.
I almost fully ate it on that one.
Oh, mama.
What is it, boy?
Oh, you know Well, firstly,
everything is so good.
Yeah, just so, so good up here.
Secondly, there is a huge army
of robots coming to kill us all.
- Oh, my God.
- John Christ was right.
- Who's John Christ?
Oh, right, you weren't here.
So, he's this guy from the past
who's destined
to lead the human resistance in
the war against the machines.
It's kind of complicated.
No, no, I get it. Yeah, makes sense.
You do? Wow. Okay.
NEURALNET: Citizens of Boomtown!
It is I, NeuralNet.
Deliver John Christ
to us now or we will
We can't hear anything
that you're saying!
Could you threaten us a little louder?!
Sorry, we're having trouble
with the Bluetooth!
I don't see where to connect it.
I think you have to hold
the pause button.
Really? That can't be right.
I know. It's kind of random.
- It worked.
Deliver John Christ to us now,
or Boomtown will burn to the ground.
Well, I guess that leaves us
with only one option.
We hand John Christ to the robots.
- Huh? What?
- Or we kill him ourselves
and toss his dead body over the wall.
Hey, does anybody have a gun
I can borrow?
Mr. Rubinstein, if we give up
John Christ,
the machines will take over the world.
As far as I'm concerned,
they can do whatever they want,
as long as they don't do it
in my backyard.
I-I hate to say this,
but I-I disagree with Mr. Rubinstein.
[GASPS] I'm having a heart attack.
Not now, Devon. Nobody cares about you.
It's not enough to be comfortable
when other people are suffering. Right?
That's how the world got
this way in the first place.
Wait, you're actually buying this crap?
A better future isn't
gonna be given to us.
We are gonna have to fight for it.
Alright, now, who's with me?
Okay, whatever.
Weird, but whatever.
So, where is John Christ now?
Oh, shit, I got him arrested.
Uh, he was doing this big protest and
No, no, I get it.
You wanted to prove
that you're not "The Man,"
but then you realized
that being "The Man"
isn't actually so bad,
but you still had to stop
what you had already set in motion.
Jesus, you are, like,
incredible at storytelling.
Thank you.
You know, I actually have this idea
that I've been noodling on
about a fairy dragon queen
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean
you should tell me about it now.
- Oh. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But later, yes.
- Later. Great.
Dude, prison was so scary.
I saw shit in there
you wouldn't believe.
It wasn't exactly "prison."
You were in a private
holding cell for one night.
And you know what they say
about dropping the soap?
I do, actually, so you don't
need to say it.
Dude, that's when they do you
in the butt.
So, anyway, NeuralNet is here
with an army of killer robots,
so I'm not exactly sure how you
want to handle that, but
- Hold up, NeuralNet's here?
- Mm-hmm.
- In Boomtown?
- Yes.
Okay, if I could put a satellite
on top of the Battledome,
I could transmit a short-wave signal
that would shut down NeuralNet for good.
We could win the war
right here at Boomtown.
Okay, yes, let's do it.
Today's the day that humans
do machines in the butt.
I'm not gonna pound for that.
Come on, man, don't leave me hanging.
Hey, I'm not saving humanity
'til you pound that.
I know you're all scared,
but you have a great leader among you.
A fearless warrior who laughs
in the face of death.
Your HOA president, Linda Sherman.
Freya. Hi, everyone! Hi.
It's so nice to see
so many familiar faces.
So, today, we're gonna be
fighting the ultimate battle
between man and machine
or woman and machine,
'cause we're here, too.
Whoo! Love you, girl.
Love you, psycho.
So, let's remember to stay hydrated,
apply plenty of sunscreen,
and most importantly,
let's have some fun.
Now let's kill the mother [BLEEP]!
That's right.
Slow and stiff, just like we practiced.
Let's remind them we're robots.
Crap! Hey, I need more time
to program the satellite.
Hey, no problem. My man Sid is on it.
I've seen this guy
go straight-up feral in the Wasteland.
I'm talking teeth, friggin' claws
Uh, sorry, Scraps,
can I interrupt for just one second?
Yeah, buddy. What's up?
Yeah, sorry, I couldn't help.
I was overhearing.
I'm not sure I'm comfortable
going feral in front
- of all the neighbors.
- What?
Well, I've I've become, like,
a respected member of the community.
It's It is an embarrassing look.
- No, it's
- Guys, I can't hear what you're saying.
- I want to participate.
- Yeah, just one second.
- It is not embarrassing.
- Come on.
You look super cool
when you go feral, alright?
People are gonna be like, "Oh, my God.
Is that Sid? I really respect him."
- Really?
- Hey, look at me in the eyes.
Would I lie to you?
Fine. Okay, would you take my jacket?
This could get messy.
Save me, Sid.
That was, like, really weird
and upsetting.
Yeah, no, I lied to him.
Dude's a friggin' freak.
And batter up!
Oh! Going, going, gone!
And the crowd goes wild
for Freya Exaltada!
I knew I should have
programmed them to duck,
but it just looks so cool seeing them
stand all straight like that.
Don't worry. This one's mine.
Zap. Zap.
Whoo. Whoo.
And around the world. Yes.
Oh, my God. Tai?
So random seeing you here.
I guess it's not that random.
There's, like, a hundred of you.
Are we, like, in a fight?
Right in the back. Nice one.
Let's go, robots!
Ahem. Mrs., uh, NeuralNet, ma'am?
Morris "The Junkman" Rubinstein
- at your service.
- Can this wait?
I'm kind of in the middle
of exterminating humanity.
Oh, but just for the record,
I am not with these people.
I love robots. I always have.
Ask anybody.
If you let me live,
I could make
for a pretty handy repairman.
Thanks, but we have advanced
nanobots to take care of that.
Okay. Okay, uh, new pitch.
Uh, human plaything.
You could torture me, uh,
put me in a giant maze,
or if weird sex stuff is your thing,
oh, boy, do I got you covered.
You do me, I do you.
I can make you feel so good, baby.
Enough! I'll let you live
if you just stop talking.
Old Morris, you still got it.
Okay, Tai, clearly you're upset.
If this is about the pregnancy thing,
I swear I was gonna tell you.
I just didn't get any service
in the Wasteland.
It's not just the baby. It's everything!
You weren't there for me
when my boyfriend dumped me.
Who? That animatronic bear
who plays the jug?
I didn't even realize
you guys were serious.
I loved him!
We made beautiful songs
at the bayou together!
And I got this bold new hair
update a week ago,
and you haven't even said anything!
Ooh, it looks nice.
I wish my hair could do that.
You never come to any
of my dinner parties!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, in all fairness,
that has nothing to do
with our friendship.
I just don't love your cooking.
I've been trying new recipes.
I make really good bulgogi now!
Aah! Ugh!
Stay back, or I'll scramble you?
Freya Exaltada, I've been
programmed to eliminate you
for being a bad friend.
Linda! No, no, no.
Come on, stay with me.
You think I'm a bad friend?
This has been one of
the craziest years of my life,
and all you can think about
is how it affects you
because you're so goddamn self-obsessed.
Freya, you've never spoken
to me like this before.
You're just pissy that I have
all these good things
in my life, and you have nothing.
So much shade. So damn shady.
Truth is, I feel sorry for you.
- You want to know why?
- Please, no.
Because you're so goddamn incapable
of moving on with your life!
Sorry not sorry.
Will you hurry up with that thing?
You can't hurry a masterpiece,
my friend.
Would you tell Olivia Rodrigo
to rush the follow-up
to her hit album "Sour"?
Huh? Oh, 'cause you're from the past.
That's cool, I guess.
Oh, savage!
Yeah, go, Sid!
Oh! He's beating him with his own arms!
I like-a that!
Okay, well, what's
what you doing now?
Aw, man. He's humping it.
Hey, that's not cool, man. Hey, come on.
Have some respect for the dead, fool.
- Hey, what's going on?
- Uh
Sid go feral again?
Yeah. Yeah. Started off super cool,
but then really started
to embarrass himself.
- Yeah, he gets really into it.
- Yeah.
MAN: Hold the line!
Retreat! Retreat! Retreat!
Oh, shit.
Hey, come on. Come on, let's go.
Let's go.
You can hump the dead robots later.
Congratulations, Morris.
Looks like you've chosen
the winning side.
It's strange.
I should be on top of the world
right now,
but something about seeing
everyone I know and love
tragically murdered,
it's making me feel
well, I don't know what it is.
There's too many of them.
Ooga booga.
Yes, dear. Ooga booga.
Everyone! Quickly, inside!
Everyone, come on!
John Christ, come on!
You need to fall back!
Satellite's almost in position.
This is it!
The moment I destroy NeuralNet
and fulfill my destiny!
Humanity will never be destroyed,
'cause this is our world, baby!
We run this bitch!
- Boy, he talks a lot.
- I know.
Come on, wrap it up!
This is our planet!
We do whatever we want to it!
We mess with the birds!
We mess with the worms!
(ALL) Hit the button!
I can take a dookie right here!
Right now!
Get dookie all over the place!
Huh? You want me to?
No, I'm not gonna do it right now!
- But I could!
- What a wanker.
[CHANTING] Humans! Humans!
What? Can't hear y'all!
Hu Ah!
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
Whoa, wait! No, this blows!
Come on, no!
Back and forth. Back and forth.
Gosh, you know, having met the guy,
gotta say, it's kinda hard
not to be on Team Robot.
Where are we? What happened?
We're trapped in the junkyard.
- You went feral.
- Oh.
Did I look cool doing it?
Yeah, totally.
Uh, you smeared feces all over yourself
and screamed, "I am the poo poo king.
Give me all the poo poo."
I don't want all the poo poo.
Just for the record.
Give up, humans. John Christ is dead.
This is the end.
I don't think this is the end.
I just think no matter what time
or place you live in,
it always feels like
it's the end of the world,
but we find a way to get
through it with the people we love.
Get in here.
That was really sweet, but just
to be clear, in this case,
we, in fact, really
are all going to die.
TAI: Not if I can help it!
- Tai?
- You're not dying today.
I'm realigning the satellite!
TI-90, what do you think you're doing?
I'm moving on with my life!
Someone needs to activate the signal!
I'll do it.
We'll do it.
And I would do it, but it sounds like
there's already the two of you,
and three's a crowd, so
It's okay, Morris. We got this.
Just know that I would have.
Shall we?
Everything must go ♪
- Is what she said to me ♪
- Kill them!
If you're the world away ♪
It's madness, won't you see ♪
Oh, no.
They're working in perfect in harmony.
Yeah, some people got that heartache ♪
It's like a beautiful dance.
Some people live in harmony ♪
Okay, now it just is a dance.
You got this?
On it, babe.
I really thought there was
gonna be, like,
a big explosion or something.
Yeah. Me, too.
Kinda anti-climatic, but, oh, well.
Hey, guys, we're good.
Yeah, come out.
They did it!
Mommy and Daddy did it.
You owe me five bird beaks,
Mr. Rubinstein.
Damn it. This is the worst day
of my life.
Hand it over.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Careful with my danglers.
Ah. Tai, you saved us.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier.
No, no. It's okay.
You told me some hard truths
that I needed to hear.
It takes a good friend to do that.
So, you're saying we're friends again?
Well, if you can forgive me
for trying to murder you
and your unborn child.
Eh, it happens.
Wait, what happened?
FREYA: Citizens of Boomtown!
It is I, Freya Exaltada,
president of your HOA.
ALL: Rah! Rah!
Today marks the anniversary
of the Battle of Boomtown.
To honor our victory,
I vow the streets
will echo with screams
of merriment!
Enjoy the block party, everyone,
and don't forget to enter the raffle
for your chance to win
a single sip of water!
Eh, who would've thought?
Old Morris has learned
to care about other people.
Even robots.
I thought you would
have learned a lesson
about being a better father.
You know, like, to your son Timmy.
Hey, you can't expect me to
learn every lesson in the world.
You're lucky I got even one.
No, that's fair.
Oh, should we get our faces painted?
Hell yeah, dude.
I want to be a tiger.
And that was the last thing I ever said.
Thank you, Madam President.
This is the only fun day I've ever had.
You're welcome.
SID: [SINGSONG VOICE] Look who it is.
FREYA: Look who made it.
Of course.
We wouldn't miss your big day.
Isn't that right, Little Linda Sherman?
Oh, bup, bup, bup, bup.
You mustn't play with her
until she's had her nap.
She needs her downtime.
Sorry, Nanny Scraps. We forgot.
Yes, you did.
There, there. The bad people are gone.
Only Nanny Scraps loves you,
my little chunky monkey.
Well, nothing left to do now
except live happily ever af
Oh. Again?
Is there a part of you
that wishes we died
in the robot apocalypse?
Oh, 1,000%.
Mostly, I'm just excited for the future.
Me, too.
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