Mixed-ish (2019) s01e05 Episode Script

1 He loves me, he loves me not BOW: When biracial people date, it's always seen by the world around them as a statement, a political act.
Somehow, it's never just one person like-liking another.
Don't believe me? Imagine Barack and Michelle.
Now imagine if Michelle was white.
How would America have felt? How would Black America have felt? How would Black Twitter have felt? Would he still have won the election? The fact of the matter is, regardless of why you fall in love with someone, when you're biracial, it's often more complicated and scrutinized than if you weren't.
But, of course, as a 12-year-old, I knew none of this.
Rainbow! Did you hear about Sadie Hawkins? No, who's that? Is she sick? Sadie Hawkins is a dance where the girls get to ask the boys.
Wow.
I've never been to a real dance.
I mean, on the commune, we had movement gatherings, but that was just to shake the bugs off.
My first dance, and I was in the driver's seat, which was thrilling.
[Bell dinging.]
[Bell dinging rapidly.]
Except for the fact that I had no idea how to drive.
In the mix Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying But they can't stop us 'Cause we got a love That keeps rising up In the mix Life turns around 'Round and 'round it goes Ooh, it's a mixed-up world Ooh, it's a mixed-up And that's for sure Mixed-up In the mix Baby We're gonna get by We're gonna On our own, side by side Love's all we need to be free Lo-o-o-ve is all I got you, you got me Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix-ish Yeah, this is a top-of-the-line fax machine.
The best thing is, I can send Alicia legal briefs day or night.
ALICIA: Thank you, Harrison.
When you said you had a gift, I didn't know it would be so work-related.
[Door closes.]
Hey, there they are! How was school? Pretty good.
Sadie Hawkins is this Friday.
And I know what you're thinking.
It's not a sick girl.
It's a dance where girls ask boys.
I figured out a surefire way to get asked.
I'm gonna whistle casually in a place where lots of girls hang out the girls' bathroom.
- ALICIA: No.
- Uh, no, son, I don't think that's a good idea - or a legal one.
- Right.
[Sighs.]
It's not fair they don't let kindergartners go.
Hey, how about this, kiddo? You and I go on a fancy date the night of that dance.
Really?! I have to check my calendar.
I can't believe this is your first dance.
And I can pick any boy I want.
As long as they haven't been asked.
And don't hold out for somebody better.
Oh.
And don't say no.
Wait, they can say no? I mean, to you.
[Clears throat.]
What? She's frumpy! It was news to me that the boys could say no.
So, that night, in true middle school fashion, I got dating advice from someone who knew even less.
I'm definitely asking down.
I don't know Down.
Is he nice? No, that's when you ask someone in a younger grade.
Because you're older, you're automatically cooler.
It's so rad you know this stuff.
I have an older cousin who's been pregnant.
Who are you going to ask? I had no idea.
But my family had some thoughts.
It better be a black boy.
Lock in her type early.
Come on! It's just a dance.
That girl already has enough cream in her coffee.
If she continues down the same path as her Pat Boone super-fan mother, she'll be turning her back on her black side and will wind up with pretty much full-white kids.
And that's bad because? Because when I'm with them, people are gonna think I'm the maid.
Well, I hope she ends up with anybody but a white guy.
We're awful.
Babe, you're not awful.
Yeah, but I'm the exception to the rule.
- I played handball with Dr.
King.
- Mm.
White lightning doesn't strike twice.
Well, I think she should wind up with a white guy.
It might not be fair, but the world revolves around us.
We get better jobs, salaries.
You really are the exception to the rule.
Why are we even talking about this? - She's 12.
- Right.
We've raised Rainbow not to see color, and we will continue to do so.
Funny coming from a man who can't shut up about his black wife.
What are you talking about? [Chuckles.]
Rainbow forgot her bag today.
I'm her dad.
You might have met my wife, Alicia.
She's black.
I'll have the roasted vegetables, and my wife, the black woman over there, she's not having anything.
Sorry, no one by that name lives here.
Just me and my black wife, Alicia.
Who's black.
Fine.
So what if I think it's cool? Mwah.
When we were on the commune, race didn't exist.
But in the real world, my dad's enthusiasm about having a black wife was starting to feel weird.
Because it was weird.
What about Jason? He's funny.
Jason's a grownup who works at the front office.
Really? He's so small.
Yeah, he goes to the doctor a lot.
[Video games beeping.]
What about him? [Gerry Rafferty's "Baker Street" plays.]
Bryce Olsen.
Soccer star and total babe.
He once threw a paper ball into the waste basket from all the way across the room and thought no one saw.
But I saw.
And I'd been crushing ever since.
There's no way he'd say yes.
He's Bryce.
I mean, look at how confident he is talking to adults.
It might be under my mom's name, Nancy? Oh.
Let's see.
You talk to Mr.
Jason all the time.
That was when I thought he was a kid! - Did he just wave at me? - Yeah! And it was one of those cool three-finger waves, too.
Oh, my God! But how would I even ask someone like that? Okay.
He likes soccer, so here's what we do.
Tomorrow, I'll get you a soccer ball with a note written on it.
And right when he comes into class My nose! First idea is always a throwaway.
Oh.
What about this? If you really like me, you won't miss.
Yeah, that seems really dangerous.
Oh! What about - [Calliope music plays.]
- Absolutely not.
Okay, what if you just call him on the phone and ask him? I think that's the one! [Both giggling.]
Oh, "Foxy Brown" is on Channel 11 tonight.
I know we've both been dying to see that again.
Yeah, both of us.
So, earlier [Sighs.]
when you said it was "cool" being married to me Super cool, babe.
I mean, how many black women have you been with before me? Been with? - Mm-hmm.
- [Chuckles.]
You know about my other serious relationships.
Yes, your two white high school girlfriends, but I'm talking about casual dating, free love, and all that.
Ah, in the spirit of free love and all that, does it matter? - I'm just curious.
- Oh.
I'd have to think.
I mean, 'cause there was [Sighs.]
around elev Mmmmmmm wait.
Maybe zero? Two? God, it's so hard to remember.
I mean, uh Do hugs count? 'Cause I don't discriminate with hugs.
[Chuckles nervously.]
You want one? Doesn't look like it.
What was the question? - How many black - No, okay.
Babe, come on.
We've been married 15 years! What W-W-What What are we doing? Let's just watch "Foxy Brown"! Or Dan Rather? We both like Dan Rather.
Right? [Television turns on.]
DAN RATHER: And finally tonight, we explore Robert De Niro's unconventional taste in women.
You know what, let's just read.
BOW: Back in the day of landlines, there was an unwritten rule that under no circumstances would you call anyone else's house after 9:00 PM.
- And it was 8:50.
- [Dialing.]
[Line ringing.]
Hello.
Olsen residence.
Hi, Mrs.
Olsen.
Is Bryce there? This is Bryce.
Oh! Sorry.
Hiii.
Uh, who is this? Yes, this is Mary? From social studies? This doesn't sound like Mary.
I might have a cold.
But it's me Mary.
From social studies.
Uh, okay.
What's up? I was just wondering what pages we were supposed to read tonight.
I think 48 through 62.
Shoot.
I forgot my book at school.
Do you think you could read it to me? Yeah, I guess so.
"In 1860" Hey, Rainbow.
I Ah, you're on the phone.
[Whispering.]
Get away! Uh Mary? You still there? Uh-huh.
You can keep reading.
"Jointly operated by the Pikes Peak Express Company" BOW: This was a dumpster fire.
- How'd it go last night? - We need to talk.
In private.
[Whistling.]
Johan! This is the girls' bathroom! Scram, dude! All right, all right! So, what happened? Spill.
I chickened out.
I can't do this.
You and I should just go together as friends.
I already have a date.
What?! Since when? [Tape rewinding.]
Johan! This is the girls' bathroom! Scram, dude! All right, all right! I told you I was going to ask down.
[Sighs.]
Thanks for having lunch with me.
I had Paul pack extra tofu soup.
Which is why I brought ribs.
Okay.
What's up? Something weird happened with Paul.
I asked him how many black women he'd been with before me You can't ask that! What'd he say? He wouldn't tell me.
Oh, damn, he's good.
And why is this just coming out now? On the commune, none of this mattered.
Black, white, past, present, it was all just a beautiful harmony.
How do you still have custody of your kids? Look, it matters now.
What you think his number is? Is there a right answer? I mean, if it was a lot of black women, then it could be a fetish.
But if he hadn't been with any others, then maybe I'm an experiment.
My money's on fetish.
Does he ever make you role-play? Like, you're a struggling R&B singer and he's a powerful, white record executive? No! Okay.
Your and my experiences have been different.
Mm-hmm.
My secretary made reservations for us at these three restaurants.
Uh-huh.
And which one is most expensive? The one that doesn't have the prices listed.
I think we have a winner.
As an adult, my sister's type is rich, older men, and she honestly has no idea where that came from.
PAUL: She's just crazy.
Everyone has a type, and t-t-that's fine, right? I have a type, but I can't say it in front of my granddaughter.
Santi, I think I see a hummingbird in the backyard.
You want to go check that out? Fine.
I'll play your little game.
[Sighs.]
What if, maybe I did see some color when I started dating Alicia? I don't know what you mean.
Isn't this the family that doesn't see color? Dad, come on.
Oh, relax.
I dated a black woman once.
You don't see me boo-hoo-ing about it.
So I shouldn't be bothered by the fact that I have an obvious type? No! Remember, this is just your first wife.
You're welcome.
Deep down, I knew I still wanted to go to the dance with Bryce, and I spent all day trying to talk to him.
But it was just impossible.
Oh.
Hey, Rainbow.
Until it wasn't.
Hey, did you call me last night? What? No.
Although, I, too, got an odd phone call.
Was it from a Mary who kind of sounded like you? That's so strange, because to me, she sounded like you.
This was the perfect time.
So naturally, I wanted to run and hide.
But I'd done enough of that.
Bryce will you go to the dance with me? That'd be great.
Really?! I mean okay.
Cool.
It's a date.
My brother and I were riding high, and you could tell.
Somebody's feeling himself.
People thought hanging around the girls' bathroom sounded creepy, but who's the cool guy now? So, who's the lucky lady? - Micaela.
- Micaela.
Is she black? I'm not sure.
Uh, the moment happened very fast.
She's Latina.
Oh.
All right.
That works for me.
What do you mean by that? White people are over here, black people are over here, and Latinas are right here.
So you'd prefer Johan to be with a black girl? Absolutely! Look, I just want to be able to fit in with who you kids date.
And I can fit in great with Latinas.
Some of them grew up in the hood, they like hot sauce as much as I do, and Yeah, that's enough.
I had no idea that who I chose to be with would matter so much to my aunt.
All I had been focused on was that Bryce had nice teeth and the teachers said he looked like a young Tony Danza.
I didn't know who that was, but he sounded cute.
So, who are you taking to the dance? Um I haven't decided yet.
The best thing I could do was not think about it.
That was easier said than done, considering it was the night my family had decided to go shopping for dance clothes.
No, baby, ain't a doubt about it You have anything with a little more flair? Your love is so good to me - Baby, there - Ain't a doubt about it I clean up good.
Livin' in this ecstasy Now, this, I can work with.
Oh, Bowdie! - Bow-Bow! - You look gorgeous! Like Vanessa Williams.
Oh, interesting you'd pick a black celebrity.
- Well, babe, she Miss America.
- Mm-hmm.
Hi.
Can I help get another size? Alicia, this, uh, plain-looking woman thinks Bow needs a different size.
I think we're fine for right now, thank you.
Why are you pretending not to notice that gorgeous black woman? Gor [Scoffs.]
She really didn't catch my eye.
She's obviously your type, and so am I, and to be honest, I-I don't feel great about that.
Come on.
This is not fair.
How do I know you didn't just want me for all of this? - I'm serious.
- Okay, well, so am I.
I mean, honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm an experiment like your first taste of white cheddar.
It doesn't go that way! DENISE: Doesn't she look amazing?! - Oh, my goodness! - Oh! I love that! I can't wait to take a picture of you and your date.
So, tell me, am I gonna need a flash or is he white? - Oh, Denise! Really? - Is he Right? - We doing this? - I need it for my camera equipment.
This should've been a happy moment, but my aunt wasn't backing down.
And to make things worse, there was only one kids' formal wear store in town.
Hey, Rainbow.
Oh.
Hi.
Is that the dress you're wearing to the dance? It's really pretty.
Oh, this? No.
This is for my going-away party.
I'm going away.
I'm in the Army now.
I leave tomorrow.
You joined the Army? Yep.
Going to the Army.
Just to be clear, I can't go to the dance with you.
I'm really sorry.
I'd made a fool of myself in front of the boy I liked, so I pulled the classic teenage move of running to my room, slamming the door, and waiting for an adult to come say exactly what I needed to hear.
[Door opens.]
You are bad at hiding from white people.
You are the last person I'd pick for the Underground Railroad.
So, who was he? That's who I was going to take to the dance.
But now I'm not.
Because of what we talked about before about who you think I should date.
Oh, Bow.
I am so sorry the crazy things I said messed up your dance.
But you're gonna need a thicker skin - if you're gonna play in the snow.
- [Chuckles.]
I will always have wild opinions.
For example, I know giraffes were a mistake.
What are they for? But I don't want my opinions to get in the way of you living your life.
So you think you'd be okay with me liking a white guy? Look, I give your mom a lot of heat for marrying your dad, but you kids came out of it, and you are the best thing that's ever happened to any of us.
Thanks, Aunt Denise.
So you should do you, 'cause Dee-Dee gon' do Dee-Dee.
[Chuckles.]
I love you, girl.
Mm-mm.
Your sister handled that well.
Does that mean we can stop eavesdropping when she's giving the kids advice? I wouldn't go that far.
I heard her tell Santamonica that if she needs more attention, she should run away.
Mm.
She's right, though.
Our kids are pretty great.
They're okay.
Look, I know I got a little rattled by the fact that you have a type.
But, I Real You know, uh And what's scary about finding out someone has a type is being afraid that they don't see you for who you are.
Stop it.
Baby, I love you.
And I love you because you're smart, funny, brave, strong, and probably out of my league.
And that's all that is happening here.
"Probably"? [Both chuckle.]
That was That was cute.
- Well, it's true.
- Mm.
And when I first met you at that lunch counter protest and saw the strength and conviction in how you stood up to those awful people I just had to know you.
And fine, I thought you were smokin' hot.
I still do.
But I will never apologize for that.
And I don't want you to.
I know you see me for me.
And I see you for you a slice of white cheddar.
- Mm! - Ohh.
- Yeah.
- You like that.
- I do.
- Mm-hmm.
[Laughs.]
["I'm So Excited" plays.]
[Dial tone.]
[Fax machine screeching.]
So, we think this Bryce kid is just waiting by his fax machine? Ooh! Okay, Bryce! I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it - Oh! He checked "Yes"! - [Both scream.]
Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yet again, I had my yes.
And in that moment, I wasn't thinking about him being black, white, Latino, or mixed.
I was just excited to be going to my first dance with a cute boy named Bryce.
Yay! [Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" plays.]
I'm really glad you asked me.
Both times.
Sorry it was so complicated.
It's okay.
You're worth it.
You're the meaning in my life You're the inspiration You bring feeling to my life You're the inspiration - I'll catch you later? - Cool.
Want to have you near me Isn't this beautiful? - I want to have you hear me saying - It's so elegant.
No one needs you more than I need you ["St.
Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)" plays.]
Interracial dating will never be simple.
Every choice will always be seen as a statement.
But love isn't about choosing who others think you should be with.
It's about communication Man, I thought there'd be a punch bowl.
Yeah.
Me too.
You don't see the writing on the wall Your chemistry is insane! Passin' by shared values Does this taste so good because other people can't afford it? In any other place, it's a slice of bread.
But when they charge an arm and a leg for it, the bread becomes a dish.
I can't ever go back.
Stick with me, kiddo, you won't have to.
[Glasses clink.]
and the decision to continue to choose that person every day for the rest of your life.
You know, the house is empty.
- Do you want to play in the snow? - Yeah.
Soldier on Only you can I spent the whole week worrying.
Worrying about whether Bryce would say yes, whether my family would reject him, whether I was locking in a type that I could never shake.
But by the time I got to the dance, I was done with worrying and decided to just have fun.
I can see a new horizon Underneath the blazing sky I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher Gonna be a man in motion All I need's these pair of wheels Take me where my future's lying St.
Elmo's fire Ooh, ooh, ooh Hi.
I'm Denise.
I work customer service by day, but I'm a wild woman at night.
I'm looking for a man Oh.
You may have noticed I have incredibly brown eyes.
I do not play sports.
I'm looking for a man with strong arms, a job, and air conditioning.
I have two nieces and one nephew that I love very much.
But if you live in another state, I will move.
Thank you for watching.
I look forward to your call.
lookin' for Romeo