Mixed-ish (2019) s01e10 Episode Script

Do They Know It's Christmas?

1 BOW: Christmas.
Until 1985, I'd never heard of it.
On the commune, we celebrated the Winter Solstice.
Community, a vegan feast, and a visit from the Magical Forest Sprite.
I know it looks weird.
But it was all we knew at the time.
[Piano music plays, applause.]
Then we got a wake-up call.
Claus, if my reindeer don't get well soon, I won't be able to give gifts to all the good little boys and girls on Earth.
So, after seeing that play, we had a few questions for Mom and Dad.
Well, one question.
What the heck is Christmas? Hmm.
What? In the mix Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying But they can't stop us 'Cause we got a love That keeps rising up In the mix Life turns around 'Round and 'round it goes Ooh, it's a mixed-up world Ooh, it's a mixed-up And that's for sure Mixed-up In the mix Baby We're gonna get by We're gonna On our own, side by side Love's all we need to be free Lo-o-o-ve is all I got you, you got me Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix-ish Mom and Dad not telling us about Christmas was a lot like them not telling us about being mixed only worse, because we missed out on presents.
- What is Christmas? - We need to know.
Secrets ruin families.
But then Mom and Dad explained that we hadn't been left out at all.
Different people celebrate different holidays, and we celebrated the Winter Solstice, a day of giving thanks to the sun for all the prosperity it had brought us during the year.
PAUL: Without the sun, we're nothing.
They explained that there was nothing wrong with other traditions.
They just weren't what we practiced.
Since this was the first time my grandparents celebrated Solstice with us, I was excited to mark the occasion with a family photo, and my mom was well Oh, whoa, whoa! W-Whoa.
Stop it.
- What are you doing? - I'm making room for a picture.
When Grandma and Granddad get here, I want a big family photo.
This is our first holiday together, and I want to make an album.
That's fine.
But can you put that back? Sorry.
I just want this place to look perfect for my parents.
- You need to relax.
- I am relaxed! Don't I look relaxed? PAUL: Here, babe.
I made Johan eat a lot of walnuts to make this.
Don't worry.
I'll make sure he throws up outside.
I'm not making any promises.
So, when's the Solstice Sprite coming? Oh.
Well, probably when you guys are sleeping.
You know I'm old enough to catch on to that stuff, right? - [Sighs.]
- Why don't you guys go to your rooms? Mama needs to concentrate.
Baby, you don't have to be so nervous.
Your parents have accepted us.
They've accepted you because that's what Jesus would do.
But me Look, I just want this holiday to go smoothly.
Once Mama sees how well we're doing, maybe she won't be so judgmental about the choices I've made.
DENISE: Girl, yeah.
Maybe she'll surprise us all and be exactly the same person she's been for the last 65 years.
- She can change.
- But she won't.
First, she gonna come in here and get on your behind for going all pagan.
Then she gonna get on mine about everything else.
That's why I won't be here.
- Wait - I have a date tonight.
You have a date on Solstice Eve? Yep.
You know how many men's flights get canceled over the holidays? That's why it's my job to re-route one lucky guy, with a slight layover at my apartment.
Come on, sis.
Don't run from Mama.
I need you here.
You have me until 8:30.
[Doorbell rings, kids cheering.]
Baby, we got this.
[Cheering continues.]
- My grandbabies! - ALL: Grandma! Granddad Lynwood and Grandma Shireen were a "Soul Train" line, church picnic, and a cigarette ad all rolled into one.
- Oh, my goodness! - [Laughs.]
Look how big you kids have gotten! The school nurse said my head is in the 105th percentile.
- Whoa.
- PAUL: So glad you could make it! Alicia and I have been waiting all week for this.
SHIREEN: Oh-ho! This place is nice! Look at God.
Ohh! [Chuckles.]
This outfit is interesting.
Pretty bold choice for daywear.
I-It's meant to be nightwear.
I have a date later.
Oh, you have a date later? Well, is he marriage material? No, he's not married.
At least, I don't think so, anyway.
[Door opens.]
- Merry Christmas, hippies! - BOTH: Granddad! Ah.
Been too long.
As different as Harrison and Lynwood were, they had one thing in common they were both determined to win at being Granddad.
Hey! Johan, look what I found behind your ear.
Whoa! Black Granddad can do magic? What can you do? I can co-sign a loan.
Come on, everyone.
Let's get a picture.
Oh, baby, we just got out the car.
I have to put on my face.
I have to change.
And Denise has to change.
Ah, how are you, Mama? Oh! I'm good, baby.
I'm so glad you waited for me so I can help you decorate.
Oh, we have decorated for two days straight.
Ha! [Coughs.]
Oh! I see it now.
- Pinecones and a bundle of sticks.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- And some more pinecones.
It's very festive.
Thank you.
A lot of our holiday decorations got ruined when they raided the commune.
But it'll all come together when we get our Bahum Bush.
Yes! It's the centerpiece to Winter Solstice.
Oh! Well, okay.
Happy Solstice! Ohh! - Happy Solstice! - [Laughs.]
Happy Solstice.
O Christmas tree I can't believe my parents' visit is actually going so well.
The visit is going great because you're great, and your mother can see that.
I am just so surprised.
Mom usually forces her beliefs on everyone.
I'm sorry, baby, but you know this is a false idol.
Don't get me started on strict religious parents.
My father used to have me confess for his sins.
[Inhales deeply.]
See, that's the kind of hypocrisy that pushed me away from organized religion.
- Yeah.
- Hm.
You know, when I told my mother we were moving to the commune, she stopped talking to me for two years.
Religion is a personal choice.
You believe in something, then you believe it's the answer, and we decided that this is the answer for our family.
- It is.
I feel it in my gut.
- Yeah.
But hey, it seems like maybe your mother finally respects how we're raising our kids.
Maybe you're right.
- Baby.
- Hmm? There it is.
Paul, I don't think that's for sale.
- Really? - Really.
We're doing this.
Yeah, we're doing this.
Fluff it a little.
Hey, kids, look what we got! A Bahum Bush! [Both laugh.]
[Christmas music plays.]
[Clears throat.]
Oh-ho-ho-ho! What is going on here? Mom, did you know Winter Solstice is actually Jesus' birthday? He was born in a stable, just like me! And if we disobey him, we go to a town called Hell.
Who Who told you all of this? ALL: Grandma.
BOW: You've heard of the War on Christmas? Well, this was the War on Solstice.
Lord and Savior, coming through! And my grandparents came strapped.
[Camera clicks, whirs.]
Where did all this stuff come from? Oh, this? Just a few things we had in the car.
You just stapled this to the wall? You know we're renting, right? Mama, we talked about this.
We said we're celebrating Solstice this year.
We're definitely losing our deposit.
My grandbabies didn't know anything about Christmas, so I'm teaching them.
Now, if they believe in Solstice like you say they do, then you have no need to be worried.
Here's an idea since we celebrate the Solstice and Grandma and Granddad celebrate Christmas, why don't we celebrate both? As long as I can still be out of here by 8:30.
So? What do you say, Mom? [Chuckles nervously.]
That, Rainbow, is a good question that I have a very good answer for.
I also have a good answer for that.
But perhaps we double-check it's the same Mm.
good answer in the laundry room.
- Okay.
- Excuse us.
- SHIREEN: Sure.
- Mm-hmm.
[Paul and Alicia laugh nervously.]
We're just [Chuckles.]
Can you believe my mom? Acting like she was okay with Solstice, when all along, she had Christmas decorations in the trunk of the car! [As Shireen.]
"My grandbabies didn't know anything about Christmas.
" Oh.
And your dad, too.
[As Lynwood.]
"I gotta be the best Granddad.
" [Normal voice.]
I-I-I probably shouldn't do the black voice, should I? [Normal voice.]
You should not.
But I-I-I don't know, babe.
Is Is Solstice the right thing to be doing right now? Of course it is.
It's what we believe.
But maybe we should just let it go if the kids are more excited for Christmas.
Baby, it's more than the holiday.
It's how we're teaching them to respect the world - and themselves.
- You're right.
And they'd love Solstice.
They just forgot, and now they hate it a little bit.
- You think we can get them back? - Of course we can.
You can get them to help decorate the Bahum Bush.
And you can cook like you've never cooked before.
Ah, I can even use spices.
- Please.
- Yeah.
RAINBOW: Santi! He's so soft! SANTAMONICA: Ooh, look! Hey, what is this? Well, you brought in all your Christmas crap, so I figured it was fair game to bring in all my better Christmas crap.
Why argue, huh? It's Christmas.
Let's have some fun.
Hey! Who wants to play horsey? Me! I love telling grown-ups what to do.
- Hup! - Yep! Ah! [Both laugh.]
Come on, horsey! Jump over the couch! Uh, you you you don't have to keep hitting me.
Eh, that's easy.
Santi doesn't weigh anything.
Johan, hop on.
Aah! Geez, kid.
You got rocks in your shoes? A couple, yeah.
- [Grunting.]
- [Laughs.]
Who wants to decorate the Bahum Bush with me? And this is one is Mary, and then Rainbow? Oh.
Sure, Mom.
So fun.
Bowdie, let's make this bush beautiful.
Maybe after we're done with the bush, - we can get a family photo.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, you better get one of me now and paste it in, 'cause I'm out of here in an hour.
SHIREEN: On Christmas Eve? [Scoffs.]
Only place open is legs.
- Doesn't the Bible say not to judge? - Exactly.
Excuse me? - Nothing, Mama.
- Nothing, Mama.
Oh, no.
Bowdie, you can't put Christmas tinsel on a Bahum Bush.
What about this one? Remember when you made it? That's a stick.
God made that.
Yeah, but Rainbow picked it up when she was 3.
Why can't we use some of the Christmas ornaments? No, Rainbow.
This is Winter Solstice.
I'd never seen my mom like this before.
She was normally so laid back, but this year's Solstice was bringing out the worst in her.
Okay, looks perfect! Rainbow, do you want to take a picture of me next to the Bahum Bush? I mean I guess.
Yeah! Okay.
Here we go.
You can do it.
[Camera clicks, whirs.]
Let me see.
I'm so excited.
This is so cool, Black Granddad! You don't need to call me Black Granddad.
You can call him White Granddad.
["O Come, All Ye Faithful" plays.]
- Whoa! - Whoa! [Laughs.]
White Granddad! Are you seeing this?! Oh, I'm seeing it.
[Click, whirring.]
- Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! - Granddad! [Kids laugh.]
O come, best White Granddad Joyful and triumphant Who wants candy canes?! - SANTAMONICA: Candy canes! - JOHAN: [Laughs.]
- Candy canes! - Yeaaaaaaah! Do you guys know what's up with Mom? She's acting so weird.
Don't know.
She's old.
Yo' mama so old Am I supposed to say more than that? She's so obsessed with celebrating Winter Solstice instead of Christmas.
I don't get why we have to choose.
Well, we choose Christmas.
It's awesome.
Although, I am confused about some things.
Who do I confess to to get gifts? Santa? No.
Grandma said you have to confess to Jesus.
And he still doesn't give you any gifts.
What's the difference between Santa and Jesus? I think beard color.
But who gets the milk and cookies? Those are definitely for Jesus.
He's pretty thin.
ALICIA: Kids! Time for the Solstice feast! You don't want to miss the Solstice Sprite! - [Children laughing.]
- The Forest Sprite was my favorite part of Winter Solstice.
[Tambourine jingling.]
With her flowing robes and noble crown, she was grace personified.
This year was Mom's turn to be the Solstice Sprite, and she nailed it.
Just kidding.
She looked like a hot mess.
Are there any naughty children here? Huh? Ooh.
Ooh! We know you're not the Solstice Sprite.
You're Mommy in a bath towel.
Who's "Mommy"? I'm the Solstice Sprite, with golden curls, tickling all the naughty boys and girls.
Oh? Huh? You're better than this.
Fine! Let's eat.
I'll say grace.
Too bad.
I already called grace.
You can't call grace.
Says the man who didn't call grace.
No one is saying grace.
On Solstice, we observe a moment of silence.
Well, I'm not eating if we don't say grace.
And by the looks of whatever this is, we're gonna need every blessing we can get.
- No one's saying grace.
- Wait.
Hold on.
Can't we say grace and have a moment of silence? Oh, we definitely don't have time for all that.
We're not doing both because we're not a family who does both, so can we all please shut up and reflect on how much we love each other? If you don't love Jesus, it doesn't matter.
That is enough! My wife is trying to share our beautiful holiday, and you won't let her, so you know what? If you don't like how we do things here, you don't have to be here.
I see you, Paul.
Handle yours.
- SANTA: Ho, ho, ho! - [Thumping.]
What's that? Sounds like somebody's up on the roof! - Santa! - Santa! HARRISON: You know, anybody can buy a plastic one, but only your favorite Granddad can give real Santa your address.
SANTA: I hope there's been some good boys and girls inside! - Sit down! - Ho, ho, ho! DENISE: Okay, now, Harrison, there is a sleigh and real reindeer out here! But it's not gonna be blocking my car in all night, right? Can we please go see Santa? No! We're observing Winter Solstice.
CHOIR: Hark, how the bells, sweet silver bells All seem to say Oh! Is that the Harlem Boys Choir? Half of them.
The rest of them had another gig.
- SANTA: Ho, ho, ho! - Can we please go to the window? No, you cannot.
- I hate Solstice! - Listen to your children.
Why? Because you poisoned them against me? They used to love mischief and wonder.
I think maybe everyone forgot how beautiful today can be.
Oh, no, no, no, no! No, no, no! Those lights are distracting people from the Bahum Bush.
See? It's all about the Bahum Bush.
Bahum Bush! PAUL: I'm just now hearing that out loud.
It It's not great.
Too bad your Santa can't be heard over my choir.
Well, I can do 75 push-ups.
SANTA: Harrison, is this still going on? - Hello? - [Scoffs.]
But everyone else likes the lights.
Does it look like I care what everyone likes? Hey, what? Those aren't regulation.
All the way down! Mom - [Granddads grunting.]
- No! Come on! [Electricity crackles, gasping.]
This is so stupid! RAINBOW: Can everyone just stop? And why are we even fighting on [Harrison groans.]
Honestly, I don't even know what holiday we're celebrating anymore.
I'm going to my room.
Merry Christmas everyone? Update on the lights.
My dad and your dad are competing to see who can fix it first.
Neither know what they're doing.
Both may die.
Will keep you posted.
Lights are on now.
Casualties TBD.
Consider yourself posted.
None of this would have happened if Mama would just accept who I am and the life I've chosen.
You'd have an easier time if you do what I do lie your butt off.
"No, Mama, that was another girl you saw riding in the youth pastor's car.
" I shouldn't have to lie.
Just because I don't believe what she believes doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Then why are you telling Rainbow what to believe? What are you talking about? I am not.
Ow! You really want to try me while I'm holding these pins? We always talked about how we hated Mama pushing her ways on us.
Look, girl, all I'm saying is, break the cycle.
I am raising Rainbow to follow her own heart.
What if her heart leads her to celebrate traditional Christmas? Look, I don't want to tell you how to live your life - Good.
- but you don't want her working out her issues with a man in some airport instead of coming home for the holidays.
I heard myself.
Damn, I need a husband.
You need Jesus.
ALICIA: [Clears throat.]
I'm sorry I blew up at you.
I just want you to respect what I believe.
Right now, it feels like you're saying the way I live is wrong.
Well, that's how I feel.
You with your bushes and sprites and head wreaths.
It's like you went out of your way to reject what I believe in.
Mom, no.
That's not true.
I chose a different path, and I want you to be okay with that.
Because I don't want to go another 15 years like this.
Neither do I.
Look, I know I'm hard on you and Denise, but it's because I wanted to raise strong, God-fearing girls.
I'm strong.
I'm just not exactly like you.
Just like Rainbow might not grow up to be like me.
- You promise? - Mom.
Just kidding.
I promise to try to understand you a little better.
I'd like that.
Mm, I love you.
I love you more.
Oh, honey.
[Camera clicks, whirs.]
- [Gasps.]
- Aah! The mood is right - Bow! Sneaky girl.
- The spirit's up We're here tonight I'd been obsessed with having the whole family together for what I thought was the perfect Christmas.
But we realized that the holidays are about more than just one thing.
It's religion, family, fighting, but also healing and presents, store-bought and homemade.
The feeling's here Yes, Judy? Page Roger Winston.
Girl, I'm not coming.
- [Laughter.]
- Our family was a melting pot.
Each of us made it more complex, more interesting, and more delicious.
And we learned to love each other because of our differences, not in spite of them.
We're simply having a wonderful Christmastime - Okay, um - Oh.
And I finally got that picture.
a wonderful Christmastime That one's from Santa.
- ["Deck the Halls" plays.]
- [Paper rustling.]
- Now, this is Christmasy.
- [Laughter.]
That one is from White Granddad.
New sneakers?! Fresh.
School supplies?! I hate it! Okay.
That baby needs Jesus.
Which one of you geniuses gave that child pencils for Christmas? You know who.