Monday Monday (2009) s01e03 Episode Script

I saw you together last night.
You going to tell anyone? No.
You're a mate.
It's none of my business.
I'll be in charge soon but I will need a number two so I'm giving one of you the chance to step up.
I know this is hard to believe but you may learn something from me.
And if I don't, you could always retire.
One more candidate to see.
You know, I shouldn't even be doing these interviews.
If Vivienne wasn't off sick all the time.
I tell you what, send them in and I'll tell them the position's filled already and then we'll pick one at random.
Yes sir.
Unfortunately, the position has been filled.
No, it isn't.
But you said Shut up, get out.
Do sit down.
So you are Natasha and you're pretty.
Thank you.
I mean pretty well qualified for the job.
Are you? You tell me, that's the way interviews work.
I'm hard-working, computer literate and I'm single.
Single.
Did I just say that? So, what would you say your faults were? Well, if I have any, I'd say I'm too much of a perfectionist.
That's a good answer, that's a great answer.
So when do I start? You can start tomorrow.
Do I know you? I do know you.
Didn't we used to be flatmates? That's it.
Oh, my God, how long has it been? One night, that's all.
So what was his name? You did get a name, right? Yes, of course I got a name.
It wasJames.
Or Jason? No, you're right, I don't know.
What you do need to know, Alyson's letting Max run marketing for a while.
Word is he's going to make Vince his number two.
Oh, well, c'est la vie.
You could talk to Max, try and change his mind.
We all know what that would entail.
There are other jobs, Tash.
Other departments.
There's a PA job in International Sales.
No thanks, mum.
Least you wouldn't be stuck under Max and Vince.
BOTH: Ugh.
I found the custard creams.
Since when have I had a blog? You haven't.
Have you? There's pages and pages of stuff about the company, all supposedly written by me.
"These things I believe.
"10 ways for a better Butterworths.
" It makes me sound like a complete prat.
My God, look at this.
"The rumour mill.
Send me your office gossip.
"Post room Pat.
The real reason her voice is so deep.
" This is a disgrace.
An absolute disgrace.
Have you seen this? Un-bloody-believable.
New ID cards.
You know they keep a record of when we swipe in and out.
It's supposedly for fire safety or something but it's really so management can keep tabs on people.
It's a nightmare.
I'm not going to be able to go shopping on Tuesdays and goodbye movie Thursdays.
Think about the guy in accounting with the 50-a-day habit.
He's screwed.
And Max can't sneak away for his sunbed sessions any more.
You do realise I'm right behind you? I do now.
I think you're being a little old fashioned about this.
It's slander.
Identity theft.
Studies show this kind of thing gives workers a sense of being something larger.
Allowing them their little joke boosts morale.
I think it's prudent to adopt a laissez-faire attitude to it.
According to the blog, I'm sickened by that management double-speak, Alyson.
You are.
You think this blog is good for morale and accurate? You're happy that it refers to you as having a "boy-toy and spending a lot of time with a very personal assistant"? Leave it with me.
Here's everything you need for the Healthy Life product meeting.
Have you told anyone about us? Yeah.
I was planning on announcing it yesterday - balloons, streamers - but I got this feeling you wanted to keep it secret.
Somebody knows.
And if you haven't said anything and I haven't, then who has? I didn't know Roger had a blog.
He doesn't.
Someone's pretending to be him to spread malicious gossip.
And you think it's me? No, but you've obviously told someone.
Look! I haven't told anybody.
I don't know why you think this is such a mystery.
If you will shag in her office, people will find out.
That was just a one-off.
No one saw.
Apart from you.
You shouldn't have been sneaking around.
I was working.
If you can't control yourselves Can't control ourselves? Spare me the Mary Poppins act.
You're such a goody two shoes.
I'd rather be a goody two shoes than a Casanova.
A Casanova? Sod off.
Good comeback.
You owe me an apology.
I still think you told someone.
I promised.
I don't break my promises.
You know why? Surprise me.
Because I'm a goody two shoes.
Just put it on the table.
Thanks, Karen.
Karen.
Karens, whatever the plural is.
Hmm.
I'm not a big one for speeches, as you know, but I would like to thank Alyson for giving me the opportunity to fill in for Vivienne.
It's both a challenge and an honour.
Let's see if we can't hit the ground running with the Healthy Life roll-out.
It is on the shelves in three months so time is of the essence.
I'm already on the dance floor.
What we need is a figurehead, someone the audience can identify with.
A sportsman, slash, sportswoman, ambitious, successful and fit, in both senses of the word.
I've drawn up a list of potential candidates for Max, and Natasha's contacted their agents.
Um, no I haven't.
Nobody told me about this.
Natasha, we had a meeting about this two days ago.
I can't be held accountable for Natasha's lack of organisation.
Stay on top of it, Natasha, alright.
Now with the right personality out front we can see International sales here I come.
I'll make sure you go to the top of the pile.
Thank you.
Tash, there's a table over there.
Hello.
Hi.
Have you heard about the new ID cards? Yeah.
We should really make a stand, fight back, really stick it to the man.
Be careful what you say, she's one of them.
For God's sake, Steven, just drop it.
OK, seriously, we need to come up with something.
Have you got any ideas? No.
But I know a man who has.
Yo, homie.
Don't call me homie.
Er, flattie? That's even worse.
Vince, tell them your idea about the ID cards.
I've figured it all out.
What we need is - oh, I'm cooking pasta tonight, so if you've got any preferences.
Mate, just tell them.
OK.
Mate.
Anyway, we need a fall guy.
Someone whose card we can all use, in and out any time of the day, it all goes on one record.
Very good of you to volunteer, Vince.
No, not me.
Not any of us.
We invent someone.
Obviously we'd need someone in HR to help out.
Come on, Sal.
Don't be such a goody two shoes.
I'm not.
Actually I was thinking about how we could do it.
We could call our guy Alan Labi.
Alibi.
We need a name that sounds both familiar and vaguely forgettable.
Like Carl Peterson.
Exactly.
Who's Carl Peterson? He's our guy.
So, if I'm going to apply for this job, I'm going to need a reference.
A good one.
No worries, bullshit's my forte.
Just so you know, I still haven't decided on who my assistant is going to be yet, so my mind is still open.
How many times, Max, I am not sleeping with you.
Natasha, going to shock you, I'm not interested in you sex-wise.
I am interested in making this department my own.
Moving us onto the next level.
By the time Viv comes back, I want her to feel totally out of her depth.
She might beat cancer, but she's not going to beat me.
God, you're inspiring.
Yeah, I am.
I've stepped up to the baseline, Natasha, the ball is in the air and I am going to slam-dunk me an ace, because I have cracked the Healthy Life campaign.
Beckham, Radcliffe, Hamilton, they're all out of our budget, but what we need is a face that says home grown success, a face that says achievement.
Nathan Wright.
Nathan Wright? Yeah, you know, tennis player, good-looking, made it to the Wimbledon mixed doubles finals a few years back.
Five years, Max, not a few.
Ideally, we'd get his partner from back then, Lisa Kerrigan, but she's A success.
Yeah.
Great tits, too.
But the public have got a soft spot for Nathan and he's interested, Nat, he is really interested.
This is, no.
Look, it's a bad idea, honestly.
We should think about taking this in a different direction.
Really.
Consumer research shows he skews across all demographics.
Game, set and match, Mr Chambers.
Hey! That's the tennis fellow, what's his name? Nathan Wright.
Bloody sodding stupid Nathan Wright.
I'm guessing she wanted somebody else.
I could tell you but you'd only accuse me of spreading gossip.
I wasn't No.
You just missed your chance to hear the spellbinding story of Natasha and her brother.
Her brother? So, I take it they don't get on then.
Oh, dear, what does that mean? They're trying to find out who wrote the blog.
I read that.
Apparently the new lad in the canteen has a criminal record.
Watch your change round him.
You can't take what's written in some blog as factual.
What, like Alyson getting herself a boy-toy? Exactly.
An intelligent woman like Alyson wouldn't do that.
It's beneath her.
Seems to me this is caused by people who can't keep their mouth shut.
Seems to me if people are more honest they wouldn't be afraid.
Seems to me some people don't have a choice.
Seems to me they've been acting like they've got plenty of choices.
OK.
I got one.
Seems to me what goes around comes around.
Natasha.
I can explain.
Explain what? Nothing.
Nothing.
Right, Nathan Wright is here, so can you bring him up? Hi.
Hi.
So this is where the magic happens, eh? Yes, Mr Wright, this is it.
Hi.
OK, so let's get you upstairs.
You're not my brother.
I haven't told anyone, so let's keep it to ourselves.
It's a business thing, OK? OK.
I presume you have a bed that not your brother can crash in tonight? I'm sure Butterworth's will be happy to put you up in a hotel.
Much more fun to hang out with you guys, catch up with my little sis, my secret little sis.
Plus I get to pocket the expenses.
Have you got a room? I've got a sofa.
Perfect.
Which is covered in pizza stains and smells like cat piss.
Sally, how are you? Hi.
It's a really cute little office you guys have here, I like it.
Mr Wright, Alyson Cartmell.
Just Nathan will be fine.
Nothing too stressful for you today, just a chance to meet the team.
I wanted to say, I'm very keen to sit in on any discussions.
Important for me to protect my image.
Absolutely.
Oh.
I see.
Did you hear that? "Cute little office".
He's the reason why I don't go home for Christmas.
I thought it was because your parents are teetotal.
That, too.
Nathan, this is Max Chambers, head of marketing.
Hey there.
Whoa, firm grip.
Really? I haven't noticed.
I work out a bit, I like to stay in shape.
Used to play a bit of tennis actually.
Max was junior champion.
Champion's a bit much, it was nothing.
Went to school in South Africa, ended up being ranked number one for my age group.
It's no big deal, number one for a few years, got a couple of titles, well I say a couple, you know, five or six, but yeah, very competitive world, junior tennis.
Tell me about it.
Especially in South Africa.
No offence, but they know how to breed winners there.
Gave it all up to enter the world of business, couldn't split the focus.
Idea - be great for internal promotion if the two of you took part in the Butterworth's inter-office cup.
No, that's not a great idea.
I don't take part in that, it's chock full of amateurs.
It wouldn't be a level playing field.
It would be if you were playing Nathan.
Vince, the last thing Nathan wants is to be paraded around like an object.
Obviously not.
Exactly.
Although, maybe if we were to do it for charity? Sponsored? Serve both purposes then.
The starving children of Africa.
Great.
It'd be great if we could get Lisa Kerrigan, too.
The dynamic duo reunited.
I don't think we need to worry about that, just one on one will be fine.
Great, starving children, tennis match, great.
So, Max, you can handle the details? Yes, I can.
Yes, I can.
Great.
Oh, excuse me.
Come through.
Come on through.
I think you know why you're here.
Roger's blog.
We know it was one of you.
IT have confirmed it came from one of your computers.
So let's just make this easy, shall we? Own up and the innocent party won't be punished.
BOTH: It wasn't me.
Fine.
Then you're both dismissed.
Effective immediately.
Right.
I wonder if I might get Sally to dot the i's, cross the t's on this.
She can't do that.
She can, she's very efficient, had her for years.
I meant Alyson.
She can't just sack us.
Amendment 7 subsection B of the European Employment Act of 2006 states that no one may be summarily dismissed without recourse to an employment tribunal.
She's shagging a solicitor.
Why didn't you mention this before? It's in a recent amendment, must have slipped my mind.
So we'll go to a tribunal.
God, no.
Oh, sorry.
It's just that employment tribunals are very hard to predict.
Imagine if we lost.
Law suits, big pay-outs, terrible publicity.
Alright, what do you suggest? Rigid internal discipline.
So, I've decided you will both be deducted a month's pay.
Not without a tribunal.
Alright, you'll lose a week's holiday, each.
Tribunal.
Between you? Fine.
I'm splitting you up.
You're both going to different departments.
You can't do that.
Actually, I think I can.
Can I? Good.
Well, let that be a lesson to you.
This is nice.
Don't sound so surprised.
I wasn't, I You're sleeping there, unless you want to get a hotel.
No, it'll be fun.
Haven't slept on a sofa since the holiday in Crete.
You know, when Mum and Dad took us away for Easter.
Took you away.
I stayed with Grandma because they were still pissed off with me.
Can't remember why though, can you? I'm just going to go and unpack some toiletries and stuff.
I know you're still upset about what happened, but it was a long time ago.
He was just a kid.
Yeah, we don't discuss this.
You're on my side, end of story.
Now, tell me I am being reasonable and rational.
Fine, you're being reasonable and rational.
So I thought maybe I'd order a Chinese for us all.
My treat.
Oh.
Yeah, that would be Actually, I'm not sure if um Do you know what, you two can sort this out between yourselves.
Nice one.
(Alarm) Obviously I don't want to tell you guys how to do your job.
I'm just here to bounce some ideas around, give you the benefit of my experience.
Anything would be greatly appreciated.
Particularly for the more junior members of the team like Natasha.
So, who wants to get the ball rolling? Yeah, if I could bounce one idea.
What I was thinking was we could kind of do an on-duty, off-duty thing with Nate, er, with Nathan.
We see the man on the court, we see him doing what he does best, and then we say, "Hey, what does he do afterwards?" What's he like Wait, I think I've got it.
There's me the tennis star, that's what you're paying for.
And then there's me afterwards, the guy people can relate to.
Hanging out at home, tucking into a Butterworth's Healthy Life yoghurt and fruit bar.
I love it.
Um, sort of what I was saying.
If we're in agreement, what's the problem? No, there's no problem at all.
Max? Yes, fantastic.
Golden.
Let's run with it.
Look, I just want to apologise.
For what? This whole inter-office tournament thing.
Much as I appreciate you pitching in, don't worry, I got your back.
I'm the head honcho in marketing round here.
I can get you out of it.
You won at Wimbledon.
Well, we lost.
Win, lose, you were there at the final.
You and Lisa, and frankly, you carried her, it was all you, Nathan Wright.
Just give me the word and I can pull the plug on this thing.
Since I quit, I don't get to play much, it might be fun.
I guess I miss it.
Plus, it's for charity.
In a position like mine, I find anything I can do to help others is a bonus.
Right.
Great.
Well, I'm ready to rock.
All guns are blazing.
I won't be holding back on you.
Cool.
Me neither.
Can't wait.
Paperwork.
You blink, turn your back for a second and there's another sheet.
And another, and another.
Look at this, TPS report.
I don't even know what that means.
You know, they say at AA, stay calm, stay focused, but they're not arse-deep in paperwork.
We just need to adjust.
With the Karens working on other floors things aren't working as well.
These are for the pension fund.
You should step away from the paperwork before we get jailed.
We need to work through them one by one.
Right.
Yeah.
That's what I'll do.
One by one.
Yeah.
OK, here we go.
As we were, steady as she goes.
ID card preliminary report.
We can shred that.
Carl Peterson.
Who is Carl Peterson? He's new, tallish, not too tall, average.
Surprisingly unmemorable, but very real.
According to this he's in and out of the building every four minutes.
Can that be right? No, a glitch in the system.
About the shredding Best cover all bases.
I should speak to him.
Can you arrange it? Or just bin it.
I might be a little stressed, but I do have a job to do.
OK, then, I'll go and speak to him, Carl Peterson, who is at his desk working.
Yeah.
My office.
Now.
Two secs.
My office now.
I want you to break my arm.
You want me to what? I want you to grab it, twist it and make it clean, fast.
Why? Ever see a game of chess, Vince? I think so.
Yeah, so when a grandmaster makes a move, do you lean over yelling, "Why did you do that?" into his face? No, you don't.
You just accept that he knows what he's doing.
So do it.
Do it now.
Do it or I swear I'll give Natasha the assistant job.
Argh.
Aaargh.
God.
Is it? Did I? That's pathetic.
You've given me a Chinese burn.
I thought you did Taekwondo.
It's non-contact, simulated blows.
Is everything OK? Yeah.
It's fine.
Or at least it would be fine if we lived in a world where reputation and respect meant nothing, which we don't.
So, it's not fine? Come in.
Max, have you got the ID card? Sure, yeah.
Knock yourself out.
We're not going to be using it any more, we've got a problem.
I knew something like this would happen.
It's not my fault.
Sooner or later Christine is going to have to meet him.
What are we going to do? We could get someone to pretend to be Carl Peterson.
We'd have to doctor the ID card to fit the face though.
Obviously.
The longer you spend with a lie, the more complicated you make it, the further you have to fall.
Just keep it simple.
Just tell Christine that Carl is a real high-flyer, not to be messed with.
His work involves lots of coming and going, and he'll kick up a right old shit storm if his work is interfered with.
What work has he been doing? I've just finished a report on the potential of putting ads on bags.
So let's just give it to, Carl.
You're just going to give an idea away? But, Max, that draft report you wrote out, it's a winner.
I know, so what.
Pin a medal on Carl Peterson.
The boy's done good.
I just hope you remember this in the future, should anything change.
Is he dying? I've just done some research on t'internet.
I was just checking out the old Nathan Wright forehand.
Guess what I found, he's got a sister, Natasha, Natasha Wright.
Hmm.
What do you want, Max? A little birdie tells me you two don't get on.
Yeah, you could say that.
Can I float something out there? How would you feel if your brother was dropped from the Healthy Life campaign? I'd feel happy.
I'd feel very happy, but what's your angle? No angle, you're part of a team, that's the way we roll here.
If it helps to get rid of my brother I'll pretend to believe you, but you can't just drop him for no reason.
No, you're right.
It's not going to look good if I go all flaky on my first week in charge, is it? Look, we've got 15 minutes until the meeting.
You're meant to be smart, dazzle me.
These are the protos for the ad.
Tag-line is a place holder 'til we can rustle up something with a bit more fizz.
How about, 'Healthy Life is the right way.
' You know, right as in correct and Wright as in Nathan Wright.
It works on two levels.
Possibly even more.
I'm not sure this is a good idea.
Don't hear you coming up with anything to trump it.
I'm not convinced we should be using Nathan Wright as a figurehead for this campaign.
We've already had that discussion.
Natasha, I understand we're adjusting.
New leadership style and all that, but what I need is facts and figures, not opinions.
Here.
Research data shows that there are certain image problems that we may have overlooked.
What is it? Well, although he's well-liked across all demographics, it appears there's a problem with what he represents to people.
Losing finalist at Wimbledon.
What's wrong with that? It was the final.
I'll tell you, it makes him the nearly man.
Nice try, didn't quite make it.
Reflects badly on the product line.
Thanks to Natasha here, we caught this just in time.
I expected a bit more from you, Vince.
I am expecting firm decisions from you, Max.
If you're going to replace him now, you better have a damn good replacement lined up.
Absolutely.
It's the right decision.
I'll stake my reputation on it.
You are cold, you know that? I thought I was the iceman but your own brother? I wouldn't have been able to do it without your help.
You are a vile, sneaky little bastard.
I'm an amateur compared with you.
You're Satan in Jimmy Choos.
Cheers.
Bugger.
OK.
It's official.
The only reason this office ever functioned properly was because of the two Karens.
You would not believe the crap I've got to wade through this morning.
I bet it wasn't even them that did that blog.
It's stopped now anyway.
Are you listening to anything I'm saying? Yes.
Yeah, no, I'm sure they will.
Hey, don't worry about it, you'll be fine.
Huh? The interview for international sales, it's this afternoon, yeah? Oh, that, yeah.
Of course.
Is this about Nathan? No.
It's much worse than that.
Max.
Max? Why, what's the matter with Where did you stay last night? Oh, Tash, tell me you didn't, not with Max.
It's even more disturbing than that.
Please, I'm an amateur compared with you.
You're Satan in Jimmy Choos.
Shall I get another round in? Yeah, that'd be great.
Oh.
What? No, nothing.
Well no, it's just you said, "Oh.
" Were you expecting something else? No, I just thought, what with you playing all the tennis and going to the gym, I just, you know, it doesn't matter.
Well, I just expected a little bit more tone, that's all, forget it.
Look, the more we talk, the more sober I get.
It's not good.
Oh.
Er, it's not working for me.
It's just the whole tennis thing, it's, sorry, can you give me a moment? What's wrong with you? I've barely picked up a racket since I was at school.
Oh.
Hmm.
Look, I mean it's no big deal.
I bet you were head of the tennis team or something.
No.
Er, no, school doesn't hold many great memories for me.
I was quite glad to leave.
So that's why you wanted to get rid of Nathan.
I couldn't be humiliated in front of everybody, could I? Yeah, we shouldn't talk.
Oh, no.
Hmm? No, look, I'm sorry.
What? I'm sorry, you've got me thinking now.
No, don't think.
It's too late.
It's just Nathan, you know.
Yeah, I know.
You must feel overshadowed by him.
No, I don't feel overshadowed by him.
Why does everyone always think that? You know, I was the better player.
16 years old and I could wipe Nathan off the court.
Mum and Dad, they wanted to send me to tennis camp.
It was just Nathan, you know, it's your classic male pride.
Yeah.
He told them that I'd been shagging my coach.
Oh, you got busted.
He was lying.
Oh.
Not that it mattered, as Mum and Dad believed him anyway and Nathan got sent to the tennis camp and I was packed off to a nice little boarding school run by psychotic nuns.
So you weren't shagging the coach? No.
Of course not.
Oh, not then.
But afterwards I just thought, you know, what the hell.
If people are going to think the worst of you you may as well live up to it.
After all, you've got to be good for something, haven't you? Yeah.
We talked.
We shared.
How touching.
I know, and I don't do sharing and I certainly don't do sharing with him.
God, I feel a bit sick.
I, um, had a little nocturnal adventure of my own.
Tell me this does not involve my brother.
It does.
Oh, God.
I knew it.
Ever since we were little you've always looked at him in that way.
Just listen.
Please.
Please, Lisa, all I'm asking for is a little help.
Please don't make me beg.
It's not going to damage your career.
Christ.
I'm not asking for a kidney.
I just want some work.
Please, Lisa, I'm, I'm begging you.
I'm so stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
Oh.
And then you slept with him? No.
Not every situation gets resolved with sex, you know.
Well, I wish it did.
It would be miles easier if I'd just slept with Max.
What I did was far worse.
Are you not worried about Nathan at all? Late night drunken phone calls begging for help, in his underpants.
Come on, he'll be fine.
He's Nathan Wright.
He's also your brother.
Er, Nat.
Nat, we should talk.
No, we shouldn't.
Couples talk.
People in relationships talk.
We don't talk.
Damn it.
Let me.
No.
Don't.
I don't need your help, OK.
It was easier before.
There was always a Karen scurrying around.
Now I can barely get anything sorted.
It's a nightmare.
So we're agreed, it's a problem? And it's depressing.
Yeah.
Sometimes you don't realise how much you enjoy being friends with someone until it goes.
Sometimes it's too late.
Not in the Karens' case though.
Good.
I've got an idea how to solve this.
Involves a human sacrifice, though.
All the best ideas do, mate.
It's the tragic story of Carl Peterson.
Cracked under the pressure.
Confessed everything.
Carl who? Carl Peterson.
Hot shot in marketing.
Turns out he was responsible for the fake blog.
I see.
Had some kind of breakdown, apparently.
It's sad really.
You know, lost his marbles, lashed out a bit.
That's probably why he made up those things about you.
You know, about you having a boy-toy.
Yeah, I'm aware of what he said.
Why do people always make those kind of assumptions about women like us? Was there anything else? Oh, er, only that, of course, I'll have to undiscipline the Karens.
Is undiscipline a word? Anyway, we should apologise to them.
I say, we, probably you.
No, fine.
You're right.
I'll take care of it.
Good.
And so, on behalf of the company, we'd like to apologise for the false accusations and assure you that your records will remain unblemished.
What would you say your weaknesses are? My weaknesses? I suppose, I'm, er, I'm too much of a perfectionist.
I'm I don't really know what you want me to say here.
I mean, I could just lie to you and say that I have no weaknesses, because that would work well, always has, but I don't think I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
I have to go.
I have to go.
Nathan.
Look, I just wanted to say that I just want to say that I'm sorry.
It's OK.
It happens.
I guessI guess I just wasn't good enough.
Or maybe I sort of convinced them to drop you from the campaign.
What? Why would you do that? Nathan.
It was just summer camp.
It wasn't just summer camp.
It was what you said about me, about the sort of person I was, and Mum and Dad, they didn't even question it.
Tennis was a joke to you.
For me it was everything.
It doesn't justify what you did.
No, it doesn't.
I spent my entire life out there practicing all hours of the day.
Would you have done that? Well, no, because I'm not insane.
All that time, all that energy, just to be Britain's favourite loser.
Woo hoo.
Sorry, I tuned out.
Was there an apology in there? Yeah.
For what it's worth, and 10 years too late, I truly am very sorry.
You're not the only one.
Look, maybe I'll see you at Christmas.
If Mum and Dad can get some booze in.
Or, you know, whatever.
Oh bugger it.
Nate, wait a minute.
Max, I thought we'd covered this.
So did I.
Natasha, you'd better have a very good reason for calling another meeting about Nathan Wright.
Sorry.
It's just, the facts, the figures, you know, maybe we rely on them too much.
Maybe we should just go with our gut instinct.
That's not a good reason, and frankly, considering everything we've discussed, it's not a good enough reason for me to reverse my decision.
I just think it's important.
Really important.
Give it up already.
God.
Hmm, no.
No.
I understand.
I think I know what Natasha's referring to.
The 'Eddie the Eagle' effect.
That gut instinct.
We're British, we love our losers, our nearly rans, our triers.
We don't live in America.
We don't need to win every time.
Taking part, doing your best, that's what counts.
Well, I need a final decision.
One carved in stone.
Because if you flip-flop on this again I'm going to have to question my judgement in making you acting head of marketing.
It's the housewives who are holding the purse strings, and they think he's hot.
Especially in those little shorts.
Exactly.
Hot shorts, it's a winner.
Shame we had to lose Carl.
It's always hard to let someone slip away.
I didn't realise you were close.
Oh, you know.
Well, there's a new guy here now who I think will work out just fine.
Alan Labi.
He seems very useful.
Everyone likes him.
Oh, and I've drawn up draft contracts for Nathan Wright.
I thought he was out.
He's back in.
You cannot be serious.
I was doing McEnroe.
That ball was in.
Man.
Come in.
Thanks.
No problem.
I know that you really put yourself on the line there, so No, really, it's OK.
I love being made to look incompetent.
A little bit of advanced warning next time, please.
What changed? You know, sometimes you have this idea of what people are like, and it's the wrong one.
That doesn't mean us.
I know.
This is not a moment.
We're not having a moment.
Sure, I know.
OK.
Oh, I need to decide who my assistant's going to be, so Heads or tails? Tails.
Congratulations.
Thank you, Max.
You know, now that Nathan is back in, that tennis match is back on.
Yeah, I know.
Which makes what you did for me even more Anyway, good luck.
Thanks.
Right, so, um, go get 'em tiger.
Grrr.
And, er, that never happened.
Argh.
Argh, my hand.
What has he done now? Jenny, can you photocopy these for me? I'd love to pitch in but I promised Roger his coffee.
Oh, does he take sugar? No.
Perfect.
Great leaders inspire from the front line.
I can't keep bailing you out, Roger, it's not what I'm here for.
I noticed a supply of vodka in your freezer.
If you're lucky I'll play barman.
It's not personal, it's business.
It always was with you.
Promise you'll be here for me, Aly.
Of course I will.
It's life or death.
Aaaargh.
Closed Captions by CSI