Monsters vs. Aliens (2013) s01e08 Episode Script

It Came...on a Field Trip

MVA MVA Monsters vs.
Aliens It's us vs.
them Foe vs.
friend Brain vs.
It's a super-freaky job Oh, yeah, it's freaky.
MVA Monsters vs.
Aliens Monsters vs.
Aliens [cackles] Monsters vs.
Aliens MVA 1x14 - Night of the Living Dog [all yelling] And that is why new regulation 437c states that "all experiments must be conducted in laboratories, not lavatories.
" You say potato, I say pomato.
- You say "pomato?" - Yeah.
- I have never heard you say "pomato.
" - I say it all the time.
Like, just this morning, I said, "hello, Susan.
Have a pomato day!" That's true.
He did.
General, about this hasty lavatory restriction It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, boys, and I'm the alpha dog.
Now, unless anyone's got anything else to say, meeting is adjourned.
Sir, permission to share some of my Earth studies findings.
Ugh, this isn't going to be another lecture on ground slugs, is it? I gotta be honest, after four hours, you started to lose me.
Your lack of attention does not invalidate the science.
However, today I'd like to talk about puppies.
- Puppies! - I like puppies.
Owning a pet is a crucial part of the Earth experience.
Therefore, I would like to requisition one adorable puppy.
- But, General, it's for my research.
- No.
Meeting adjourned.
Boo-hoo for you, Sqweep.
Guess now your Earth studies can include a lesson in disappointment.
- Dude, that's harsh.
- Most unfortunate.
- What are we gonna name the puppy? - Oh, Sqweep, are you all right? Yes.
It's to be expected.
According to my research, the traditional first response to a request for a pet is "no.
" - Commencing phase two.
- "Persistent pestering.
" - Please, may I have a puppy? - No.
Please, may I have a puppy? Please? A puppy.
Let me have a puppy, please? - No! - Please let me have a puppy.
I want a puppy.
Give me a puppy.
Give me a puppy.
Give me a puppy.
Puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy.
Please, may I have a puppy? I respect your stick-to-itiveness, Sqweep, but I've been through the pet thing with my nieces and nephews, who I may or may not have.
They always promise to take care of it, but who ends up on doody duty? Me! The answer remains no.
[sobbing] Give me a break.
I've interrogated enough crybabies to know the real thing from a faker.
Isn't crying the next step in the pet-obtaining ritual? Normally, yes, But this decision isn't even up to me.
Regulation 242d says, "no pets on base!" - Don't you write the regulations? - Geh-uh-ooh.
[sighs] Whatcha doin'? To get the full experience for my Earth studies, I am moping.
[sighs] So still a no-go on the puppy front, huh? Maybe I can help.
What do you like about puppies? - Well, puppies are playful.
- I'm playful.
- Puppies are also cuddly.
- I'm cuddly.
Puppies are the juvenile stage of the canis lupus familiaris life cycle.
I'm cuddly.
Wait a minute.
- I could be your pet! - Hmm, sufficiently plausible.
[panting] B.
, you may have found a solution to my puppy project problem.
[groans] You are housebroken, right? General, we're looking for authenticity here.
Please? [sighs] There is no possible way I will not regret this, is there? [slobbering] Nope.
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Let us begin by exploring the normal owner-pet dynamic.
What is it about being dog-shaped that makes me wan to bite my own butt? Please focus.
Ready? - Speak, boy.
- Ahem When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have lingered with us for No, B.
, like a dog.
You know, barking and such.
Oh, right.
Bark, bark.
Or in German: Arf, arf.
Let's try fetch.
You are supposed to retrieve the ball.
Here ya go.
I mean, bark, bark.
- A real dog uses its mouth.
- Really? Okay.
[gulp!] B.
, after careful consideration, I determined that you are a terrible dog.
Is that because of the accident in the hallway? B.
! That was the only thing you did that actually was like a dog.
Right, 'cause I wouldn't have done that otherwise.
I don't think this study can continue successfully on its current course.
Well, maybe I'd have better luck as a cat.
I have one last thing to try: Blasting you with a ray that will give you canine brainwaves.
But I don't have a brain.
Hmm, an obvious oversight.
I hope there were no unintended consequences.
[both barking] [howling] Perhaps this is just an isolated incident.
[all barking] Well, everything looks normal.
[all panting and barking] [barking] [both growling] [growling] Okay, I'm beginning to think something is wrong.
Susan would never chew on a shoe before lunch.
I think it's time we inform the [barking] General? [panting] - He got hit too, right? - Correct.
'Cause with him, it's hard to tell.
[barking] [both scream] This chamber will reverse the effects of the dog brain blast.
But how do we get all the dog brains in there? This is the challenge.
We will need to lure them in.
- We could use this.
- That should work very well.
Just one question: Why do you have a pork chop? What? You don't always carry meat with you? [sniffing] [both growling] Lookie at what I got.
[all panting] Oh, good dogs.
Come on.
[all barking and panting] I believe that just leaves [growling and barking] - He is a very angry dog.
- Don't worry.
I got this.
Open it.
[growling] On second thought, maybe I don't.
Oop! No, boy! That's not the ball.
This is the ball.
- We have to catch him.
- I can see where he's going.
He's running down a pink tunnel.
It's got, like, a dangle-y thing, like at the back of a throat.
, you must be looking down his esophagus.
- Turn around.
- Oh, right.
Okay, he just ran into a room.
I see weapons, lots and lots of weapons.
Oh, no.
He must be in the armory.
Hey, he dropped my eye.
Oh, now he's after something else.
[barking] Looks like a grenade.
[gasps] If that grenade goes off, it'll start a chain reaction that could level the whole base.
Aw, man, then General Monger would be really steamed.
- Actually, General Monger would be - Oh, right, still a dog.
- B.
, try acting like a cat again.
- How's this? Moo.
- Good, except I believe it's "meow.
" - If you say so.
Oh, I think it's working.
Meow, meow.
I'm a cat.
Ahh! Meow.
Uh-oh, don't know the pass code.
Hey, hey, General.
It's just me, B.
I'm not really a cat.
Whoa! Ahh! Ahh! B.
, it is hopeless.
As General Monger stated, he is clearly the alpha dog.
Oh, yeah? Well, I am the hot dog the chili cheese dog with lots of onions and extra jalapenos.
That's right.
I am en fuego.
[whimpers] [gulp!] You know, B.
, it really is a dog-eat-dog world.
Sqweep! You will be happy to know, General Monger, that I have just completed my puppy project.
It turns out B.
was a good dog.
[grunts] Blech.
- Uh was I sniffing your butt? - Let us never speak of this again.
We did turn everyone back to normal, right? [barking] [slurping] 1x15 - Attack of the Movie Night! It came from another world to eat our brains and our bananas.
It's the Bah-bah-bah.
Movie night.
- Popcorn's popped, boys.
- Dibs.
Double dibs.
I call center couch.
Oh, no, no, no, alien.
Ugh! - Happy Friday, Monsters.
- Sqweep? What are you doing here? The custom of movie night counts as extra-credit in my Earth studies class.
I'm here to observe.
Susan, I must object.
The rating clearly signifies this movie - is not intended for young children.
- I have snacks.
[gasps] - Have a seat.
- Lotsa dibs.
Hold it, guys.
Sqweep, I'm sorry kiddo, - but this movie is way too scary for you.
- Your concern offends logic.
I am too intelligent to be frightened by fictional stories.
That's just perfect.
Stand by the tombstone.
Ahh! Let the research begin.
I feel so safe in your arms [both screaming] Oh, that is a big monkey.
[both screaming] Ape want brain.
They eat brains? - I'm scared, Steve, really scared.
- Don't worry, my love.
It's gone forev oh, no! It's right behind me! Brains.
And so it returned, just as it came, never to be seen again.
Huh? Oh.
[yawns] - Well, that was boring.
- Totally.
Who's gonna be scared of a lame zipper costume? [moaning] H-h-hello? [moaning] Save my brain! [moaning] [burps] S'cuse moi.
[laughs] Sorry.
[music] - Hey, kid.
You gonna move? - What? You're not getting my brain.
[all screaming] [burps] Ahh! Little alien, why'd you just swiss cheese my mess hall? Apologies, General.
Without sufficient sleep, my superior brain can be a bit, um loopy.
Monsters, alien, get this kid some nap time before my whole base gets laser zapped.
- Surely I am not needed for this - That's an order.
Do not worry, General.
I am already working on a plan to erase the zombie moon ape from my memory.
Moon ape? Wait.
You saw that movie? - It was for extra credit.
- So that's what this is all about.
- The poor kid's scared, that's all.
- Frightened, you say? Well, Link and I know just the remedy for that.
Hee-hee-hee, to the lab.
[music] [cackling] [thunder booming] Wow, that is a little super-terrifying in real life.
It's basic face-your-fear strategy.
All we gotta do is dress up in the costume - and get Sqweep to fight us.
- It's the same way we cured B.
's fear of giant mustaches.
I have conquered thee, Mustachio.
[yodeling battle cry] Eh, guess it couldn't hurt to try, but, uh, who's gonna be the ape? [slurping] Don't even think about [mumbling] After much tinkering, I have built the galaxy's first memory extractor.
Once my memory of the zombie moon ape is removed, I will sleep as sound as a baby snoolox.
[cackles] I really need some sleep.
[growling] Brains.
I have no memory of whatever it was I feared.
Yay, me.
[humming] [roaring] Come on, Coverton.
Move it.
How do you move this infernal thing? Ow.
This is why we read instructions.
Use the leg pedals, man.
What? Oh, you mean like thi waah! Oh, splendid.
Someone put a giant mirror in the hallway.
Oh, idiotic.
Uh? [groans] - Let's get this over with.
- Come now, Coverton.
We have no time for dilly-dally.
Yes, yes, save it for Sqweep.
I'm the zombie moon ape your worst nightmare.
Why are you not cowering, child? - I was told there would be trepidation.
- Apologies, Mr.
But I do not recall you from my nightmares or otherwise.
What is the point of me doing this if you're not even scared - that i'm going to eat your brain? - You eat brains? Um yes.
I eat lots and lots of yummy brains.
[growls] No, no, no.
No, no, you've got the walk all wrong.
Keep your arms up.
Could his acting be any more cliched? Make me a zombie moon ape believer.
- Braaaaaaaains.
- Oh! - Coverton, quit it.
- No, no, Suze, don't you see? He's finally getting into character.
That's the spirit.
Pretend to eat Dr.
Pretend to shred him into a billion tiny pieces.
Costume off.
Costume off now.
Dumb ape arms.
[laser gun chirping] [yelling] Please stay away.
I am very small and damageable.
I'm trying my very best to Ahh! Come on, Coverton.
Stop zombie moon monkeying around.
Ahh! Ugh.
Monkey want a banana? Whoa, Coverton's inside the suit and outside the suit.
- Twist.
- But if that's Coverton [roars] [all screaming] Boomnana? Attack of the zombie moon ap.
Perhaps this holds a solution.
[all screaming] - Where did this thing come from? - No doubt from the recesses of our most deep-seeded and subconscious fears.
[roaring] My blob.
[roars] Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! [door beeping] Okay, quick, how'd they beat the zombie moon ape at the end of the movie? Don't look at me.
I was out like a light.
- Ditto.
- But I fell asleep too.
- So none of us saw the end? - I do believe we're about to live it.
- Not tonight.
- Link? I get it now.
Movie night was my idea, so I have to save us.
This is my moment.
I'm gonna save us [roaring] It can't be stopped.
[both screaming] I am t-t-t-too intelligent to be frightened Calm yourself, man.
There is one way to stop it.
All right, guys.
It's time we show this noob how the professionals do it.
Monsters, attack.
[laughs] - Now, Dr.
- Brace yourself, beast.
It's time for you to eep! Braaaaains.
Ahh! Scary part.
Someone pause the movie.
[roars] - Huh? - You are not getting our brains.
- Greetings, Monsters.
- Sqweep, you saved us.
Launching the moon ape into deep space is precisely how it was defeated at the end of the movie.
Yay, me.
Mad props, alien kid.
You just faced your fear.
- Yeah, you did.
- Up high for mustaches.
Sqweep, from now on, you've got a lifetime membership to movie night.
- Really? - Yup.
And next time, you can even pick the flick.
Now that I am no longer afraid, I am most eager to watch the film's many sequels: The return of the zombie moon ape, movies 2 through 14.
No dibs.
And so it returned, just as it came, never to be seen again.