Moonlighting s01e02 Episode Script

Pilot (2)

It really is you.
Who are you? I heard you were on your way out, I had no idea you were so far along.
Should I waste the bullet, old man? You tell me.
You're the expert.
Or you were until now.
What are you doing? What are you trying to prove? Shut up.
Your time is up.
Get down from there.
Now, just who the hell do you think you are? - My name's Brummer.
- Brummer.
I know you.
You're from Detroit.
You came all the way down here to do me? You stupid punk.
Are you gonna kill me now? Kill you? Hell, yes, I'm gonna kill you.
Then I'm gonna stuff you in a shoebox and send it home to your mother.
You- No, I'm not gonna kill you.
The hell I'm not.
Stupid punk.
The whole damn generation's twisted.
Sorry I'm- - Late.
- Late for what? - My first day.
- Oh, good morning, Miss Hayes.
Is it always like this? Like what? Let me show you to your office.
Doesn't it seem a bit quiet to you? - This is our slow time.
- Mornings? - Well - Monday? - Kind of.
- Spring? The '80s.
This is it.
There's a man who comes by every day around 2:00 who shines shoes.
And there's a woman who stops by once a week and will do your hair right here in the office.
The snack man usually comes by around 11:00.
And There's a gym in the building and a lot of us take an exercise class every day.
- When do we work? - Excuse me? Is Mr.
Addison in his office? - Come on, Chris.
- " Come on, Chris, we'll play The Feud.
" Give her a kiss, Richard.
One hundred people surveyed.
Top seven answers on the board.
The question is, name a place where people ask smok ers to stop smoking.
- Restaurant.
- Restaurant.
Good answer, good answer.
Restaurant! - We have to talk.
- Richard, look who's here.
I don't understand it.
No one seems at all interested in doing any kind of - What are you doing? - It's the Family Feud.
Good golly, you look great.
So this is it, huh? You and me? I know I'm excited.
Nice digs, huh? Like your office? Notice the shower massage in your bathroom? Don't thank me now.
You want me to turn that off? You notice he never kisses the guys? I like the show- Wait! Stop.
I have to tell you this.
I had this dream last night.
So I'm sleeping, and I'm having this dream.
And in it, I come up with a great idea for a new TV show.
I mean, a hit show.
And the weird thing is, I wake up and still think it's great.
Wanna hear it? Okay, I'll tell you.
It's called: Bus Station.
You get it? Bus Station.
Kind of romantic, kind of exotic.
People come from all over the place, going to exciting places.
We get a group of regulars.
We get that guy, McLean - Stevenson.
- Stevenson.
We get him.
He plays the dispatcher.
We get somebody to play the porter.
We get some cute little girl to play the ticket seller.
Oh! Guest stars.
The first episode, we get Charo.
She plays a lady who is going to visit her aunt in Scranton.
And she meets Tony Orlando, and he is playing a sailor who is going home to Dubuque.
I think it's a great idea.
Buses, all shiny and new Come aboard, we're waiting for you What do you think? You're gonna steal this idea, aren't you? - I have to go.
- Something wrong? - I'm overreacting.
- You're not.
- I'm sure there's an explanation.
- I'm sure there is.
- The phones don't ring.
- Pardon me? The phones.
I've been here 10 minutes and there hasn't been a ring.
- The phones don't ring.
- Is that all? It's just a small service problem.
I'm having it looked into.
What else? No one's in the waiting room.
No one is waiting to see us.
You know, it's a vicious cycle.
The elevators are on the fritz.
Can't get anybody to fix the phone because the elevators don't work and you can't call anybody to fix the elevators without a phone.
- But now you wanna make it a priority- - I've made a mistake.
- What are you saying? - There are no clients.
There aren't gonna be any clients, are there? I'm not sure I understand the question.
Have you ever had a client? What, you mean at this particular location? - You're not being fair.
- You're not being honest.
- I'm not a detective.
I'm destitute.
- Maddie, Maddie, listen to me.
I have a client coming in, a big client.
- You do? - He'll be here at 11:30.
Would I say I did if I didn't? If you can't say anything nice - What's this client's name? - What? What does it matter? It only matters that he'll be here in 20 minutes for a meeting with us.
- Twenty minutes? - Twenty minutes.
Isn't it worth waiting? Twenty minutes.
Now, this this is how I imagined it would be with a partner.
Two people, working shoulder to shoulder - seeing eye to eye.
- Eating hand to mouth.
I'm pencilling you in for a lot of lunches, kiddo.
- Take my messages.
- Messages? Yes, he is a very busy man.
All right.
Have a nice day.
Rex, Rex Tuff, building security.
Look nonchalant.
- Excuse me? - Nonchalant.
- Nonchalant? - Nonchalanter.
That man over there? That's Mr.
He's waiting for Mr.
Wrye? Is that what he's calling himself? Okay, here it is.
We have reason to believe that that man has a bomb.
Don't look.
Just do what I say.
Do exactly as I say.
Nod your head once if you understand.
Beauty and brains.
I want you to introduce me to him as Mr.
Taylor's assistant.
I'm going to try and lure him away.
Don't be nervous.
I'm a professional.
Listen if we live through this, I'd like to see you again.
Would that be possible? You do that great.
Okay, let's get this show on the road.
Wrye? This is Mr.
Tuff, Mr.
Taylor's assistant.
I'm terribly sorry, Mr.
Taylor has been delayed.
In the meantime, I'd like to get some information on your case in my office.
I'll get that for you.
Tuff just where is this office of yours? Caught me, Mr.
My name isn't Tuff and I don't work for Regency.
My name is Addison, David Addison.
I'd like the opportunity to take care of all your investigatory needs.
We solve no crime before its time.
Wrye, I can't tell you how happy we are that you chose Blue Moon Detective Agency.
Can you tell me how you came to hear of us? Oh, I just happened to need a detective agency and there you were.
Well, how may we be of help? Well, as I explained to Mr.
Addison before I'm not sure anybody can help me.
I'm in Los Angeles for only a short time and I'd like you to find my son if you can.
If anyone can, we can.
When you say "find your son"? We haven't seen each other in over 20 years.
Truth is, he may not want me to find him at all.
I may be kidding myself, but I have this crazy notion that if I did find him maybe you could smooth it over so I could see him again.
I'm getting old, you know and there are things I know and I've seen that I'd like to say to somebody before I die.
I'd like to think that all that living didn't go to waste.
That's a beautiful thought.
I'm prepared to pay you $10,000 if you can locate him quickly.
I'll find you a whole family for $10,000.
- That's more than generous.
- It isn't.
There's just one thing that I didn't tell you.
I believe Michael may be involved in something nefarious.
If that's true, he won't be easy to find.
If he were easy to find, you wouldn't need us.
- I'll walk you out.
- No, no.
I'll keep in touch to see how things are going.
- Miss Hayes.
- Mr.
We have a case.
We have a real case.
Do bears bear, do bees bee? This is gonna work.
We're really gonna do this.
We're really gonna do this.
You think I'm playing around? If I wasn't so happy, I'd feel terrible.
You know when you told me we had a client at 11:30? You didn't believe me.
Well, I'm shocked and appalled.
David, we have a case.
Yes, we do.
Yes, we do.
And this, this is just the beginning.
Soon we'll be handling it all.
Robbery, grand larceny felonious assault, felonious with no salt.
And even the big M.
- What are you doing now? - Looking up the word " nefarious.
" He said his son might be involved in something nefarious, so I- " Nefarious: something unspeakably wicked.
" - Unspeakably wicked? - That's what it says.
Piece of cake.
There has to be an easier way.
We've talked to newspaper people, the police, the DA's office and none of them have ever heard of Michael Wrye.
He's either the most amazing criminal alive or no criminal at all.
- Relax.
- Relax.
Relax? How can I relax? This is our first big case.
Our first case, and we haven't even got the tiniest clue as to how to solve it.
Ask me about plan B.
- You have a plan B? - Amazing but true.
What are we doing here? This is a bar where a lot of nefarious types go to get wrecked.
Kind of a union hiring hall for ex-cons arsonists, robbers, rapists, colourful people like that.
Oh, is this your regular hangout, or does this have to do with the case? I'll mention our boy's name, see if I can get any kind of reaction.
If he's anybody, they'll know about him.
- What about me? - What about you? Keep the windows up, your head down, the doors locked.
And don't play the radio.
It kills the battery.
- Maddie.
- David.
- Wait in the car! - I don't wanna wait.
I don't have to wait in the car.
It's my car.
It's my detective agency.
I don't have to do anything I don't want to.
You're gonna get a licking from your father.
What's the point of being boss if somebody's telling you what to do? Sitting in a car alone on a scary street is not my idea of F-U-N, David particularly when I'm paying for the car.
I can't take you in there with me! - Do I embarrass you? - This has nothing to do with me.
- This bar is filled with killers.
- I'll meet your friends.
They are not my friends! The only people in that bar are outlaws, street people.
I take you in there, they're gonna know that you don't belong.
I can look different.
I have lots of looks.
I was a model.
This isn't like that.
This is about attitude, and you don't have the right attitude.
- You don't belong in there! - You won't even let me try.
- What kind of attitude? - It's not something I can tell you.
You either have it or you don't have it.
Let's forget this whole detective business.
- What are you talking about? - You can take me home.
I'm talking about us being in business.
What's the point if you won't even let me try? Okay.
All right, come here.
I can do anything if you'll just give me a chance.
- Unbutton that.
- Excuse me? Unbutton that button.
People with attitude do a little advertising.
One more.
- There you are.
- There I am, all right.
- Shake your 'do.
- Shake my what? Your hair.
Shake your 'do.
Girls with an attitude don't have a 'do like that.
Nuns and librarians don't have a 'do like that.
You wanna have attitude? You gotta shake it.
Do you have any idea how much this 'do costs? - Shake it.
- I'm gonna tell Mr.
Bruce you made me.
Makes all the difference in the world.
All right, Henry Higgins, can we go in now? Not quite.
- Now what are you doing? - This will only hurt a second.
Not a bad attitude at all.
- All right, now let me see you move.
- Move? Walk.
You know? One foot in front of the other? I can't wait till we have to go to a society party.
Will you be in trouble.
Let's put a little motion in the ocean, kid.
Watch what you say.
You're gonna blow it for Miss Congeniality.
- Button that button.
- What? What, are you trying to start a riot? And fix your hair, for crying out loud.
All right, let me handle this.
Hey, my man! All right! Now, this man has his attitude down pat.
Long time no see.
Yo, you remember me, right? Sure, you do.
Old me.
You're looking great, kid.
No, really.
You are really looking great.
He has it down pat.
- You got a light? - Guess not.
- How am I doing? - I'm taking notes.
Look here, coz, how about some drinks? What do you say you set me up with seven, maybe eight tequilas? - Better yet, make it a baker's dozen.
- You want 13 tequilas, man? To go.
I come here all the time.
They're very fast.
What is your story, man? Me? I was born in a little town, just outside of Philadelphia.
Now you're starting to tick me off, pal.
Too late to apologize? I'm taking my bones and going home.
All right, what do you want? Now, you don't belong here! - We're just looking for somebody.
- You've looked in the wrong place.
People don't come here to be found, they come to get lost.
I can't believe you're talking to him! He shot-put me across the bar.
You think I've forgotten, but I haven't.
I'm still mad at you, Tiny.
Ever heard of Michael Wrye? Who are you? - Friends of the family.
- The family? All right, let's go in the back in my office.
We'll talk.
What are y'all looking at? Show's over! Michael Wrye.
You're only gonna see him once so you should know what you want ahead of time.
Have your details down.
How much, who and any special insurance requirements.
And what you want it to look like.
Murder, suicide, Mother Nature.
Wait a minute.
Want what to look like? - The body.
- What body? Whatever body you want.
You said that you wanted to hire him.
- Hire him? - For those of us who tuned in late what do you think we want to hire him for? Come on, don't play dumb with me.
Michael Wrye is one of the best contract killers in the business.
That's the guy you're looking for, right? Michael Wrye? Right.
That's him.
Good old Mikey, the contract killer.
Friend to friend, we want off this case.
Blue Moon Detective Agency.
We're detectives with a heart, we're here to do our part.
In your moment of need, we'll be there indeed.
So please don't be shy, just give us a try.
We're cooperative and discreet, we really can't be beat.
And now, if I may be so bold, I'd like to put you on hold.
Blue Moon Detective Agency.
We're detectives with a heart Hello? Do you have a Farley Wrye registered at this hotel? Yeah, that's Wrye with a W.
Yes, I'll hold.
- He wants to have dinner with me.
- I've been calling every hotel- Who wants you to have dinner with him? Farley Wrye.
Where on earth did you get those glasses? Oh, these? X-ray specs.
Pretty cool, huh? You must be wearing a lead dress.
I can't see a thing.
Did you hear what I said? Farley Wrye just called.
He wants to have dinner tonight to discuss the case.
The sooner he finds out, the sooner we're off it.
The sooner we're off, the better.
I can't look him in the eye and tell him his son's a killer.
- Fine, don't look.
- That's not funny.
Maddie, we are in deep doo-doo.
This man is a professional killer we are looking for here.
This man gets up, looks at his calendar and says: "Gotta kill McGillicuddy today.
Gotta go to lunch at 1:30 then run over Baxter and pick up my shirts.
" - He doesn't wanna be found.
- I know.
Looking for him will make him mad.
Finding him will make him furious.
Do you know what these people are like when they're furious? - Deep doo-doo.
- I get your point.
I'll tell him.
We'll both go and tell him together.
That's not what he had in mind.
He wants me to meet him at The Carlyle.
The Carlyle.
The Carlyle.
The Carlyle.
Maddie and Farley sitting in a tree K- I-S-S-I-N-G Hey, it's flattering.
I know he's old, but there's something kind of, I don't know - Spent.
- worldly about him.
You're not gonna be able to tell him.
Of course I am.
I'm just a little nervous, that's all.
I'm new to this.
It's not easy to tell someone you've discovered a hideous secret about a loved one.
Tell you what I'll drive you to the restaurant wait outside for you in the car and take you home.
Why would you wanna do that? Well, that way, just in case, in the event you can't tell him you can excuse yourself, get me, I'll tell him or we can tell him together.
- That won't be necessary.
- I know that.
A nice meal like this could take two hours.
You would wait in your car all that time? - For me? - Hey, we're partners, right? Right.
But it's really not necessary.
- I know that.
- You know that? - I know that.
- All right.
- I hope you like it here.
- It seems lovely.
Well, I know absolutely nothing about the place except that it's named "The Carlyle.
" I knew a place in France with that name.
France? - I was there during the Occupation.
- Really? I was a liaison for the French Resistance.
You were a spy? Much too romantic a word.
I was a pawn.
A well-titled pawn.
I sabotaged power plants, blew up trains assassinated SS officers.
It was wartime.
What did you do after that? I played in piano bars for a while.
Played torch songs.
Tried to make ladies cry.
Did it work? Sometimes.
Are you all right? I'm all right, I'm all right, I'm all right.
I'm dying.
Dying slow.
I'm sorry.
It's not the dying that's sad.
It's the living.
The things you did.
The things you didn't do.
You die slow, you got a lot of time to think about things like that.
Anybody ever gives you a choice between dying slow and dying fast I promise you take the express.
Now tell me about my son.
- So? - So what? - How did he take it? - It's late.
I gotta get my things and go home.
- You didn't tell him? - The car is not moving.
Look me in the eye and tell me you told Farley Wrye the truth.
- You won't take me home? - You couldn't do it? - I'll call a taxi.
- What did you tell him? - Let go of that handle.
- What did you say? - Let go of that handle or I'll scream.
- Not until you tell me what you said.
Did you at least tell him we were off the case? I couldn't look him in the eye and tell him his son's a killer! - Why not? - Because he's dying.
Because that poor, sweet old man is dying.
Now we're all gonna die.
Maybe we can get a group rate at the cemetery.
You're making a lot of assumptions.
Because his son's a killer, doesn't mean he isn't a nice person.
Just what exactly did you say to him? I told him we were working on it.
I told him we had a solid lead.
- Why? - Because it's the truth.
We have a moral obligation.
We made a promise.
- I didn't make any promises to him.
- We promised to find his son.
- A promise? No.
No, no, no! - Yes, yes, yes! I made a business deal.
A promise? You make that to mom about wearing itchy clothes in the cold.
It's what you make to someone you'll never see again, to get the good stuff.
It's what you make to your dentist when scheduling appointments.
I know what a promise is.
I didn't make one.
Well, I did.
We're having a stimulating discussion.
Where you going? Addison, we don't belong together.
We don't think alike.
We don't agree.
What are you talking about? We agree on a lot of things.
You like meatballs on your spaghetti, right? Me too.
How about books? Me, I read left to right.
How about you? Is that an amazing coincidence or what? All right, you wanna get deep? Let's talk about sex.
Who would have guessed, I like sex too.
It's frightening how much we have in common.
We have to hurry.
We have to go by the office pick up your things, and take you home.
- David- - If I get killed I'm never speaking to you again.
Is that a promise? Get your stuff, I'll wait here for you.
We'll walk to the garage.
Parking Lot, all blacktop and new Drive on in, we're expecting you - New TV show? - Feature film.
Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Jessica Lange.
- Parking Lot.
You get it? Kind of- - Romantic, exotic.
People come there on their way to exciting places.
There'll be a group of regulars.
Addison? Could you come here a moment, please? Here I come.
Parking Lot, all blacktop and new You rang? He wants you to step into the room.
He? He who? Don't try anything.
This gun will blow a beer-can-sized hole through the door.
Then it'll blow another hole, bowling-ball-sized, through you.
They'll find some of you on the floor and some of you in the bathroom.
You think this guy enjoys his work? You have been looking for me, right? Well, what is it that you want? - Want? - He's asking whom we want murdered.
- Whom? - Who? - No.
- Whom? Okay, whom? Whom, huh? Well - Him? - Not me! She didn't mean me.
You heard of a wandering eye? She's got that.
Not me.
You wanna pick up my belly off the bathroom floor? Tell him.
No, no.
Not him, not anybody.
Not really.
What do you mean, " not anybody"? Mr.
Wrye, your father is dying.
What? That news doesn't pack the same wallop for him as it does for us.
Did you hear what I said? Your father is dying.
He's hired us to find you.
I know you haven't seen him for a long time, but he wants to see you again.
He does, huh? And when did he tell you this? - I had dinner with him this evening.
- Where? At Forest Lawn? My father's been dead for 14 years.
On the floor, face down! Hands behind your back! I'm not stupid.
What are you people setting me up for, huh? Talk! Tough to do with a mouthful of wall-to-wall.
Who put you up to soliciting me? A man came in here, said his name was Farley Wrye.
He said he was dying, wanted to see you one last time.
Wyatt Earp, looks like you weren't the only one who was set up.
And you two don't know who this guy really was? Not yet.
Excuse me.
I'm sure you remember me.
- I was dining at that table this evening.
- How can I be of help? The gentleman I was dining with is a close family friend.
He paid for the meal with a credit card and he's really in no position.
Could I pay cash for the meal, and you give me his card voucher? It's most unusual and most thoughtful.
- You understand.
- The gentleman's name? - Madame? - We were sitting right there.
It had to be at least $120.
I'll pay you double that.
Double? That's Antoine's station.
- How'd it work? - Like a charm, an expensive charm.
Tate, Franklin Tate.
Mean anything to you? Give me that.
I don't believe this.
- Franklin Tate is looking for me.
- Who is Franklin Tate? - He's the best.
- The best at what? The best mechanic, the best eliminator.
The best.
- We heard you were best.
- What's it mean? One killer hired us to find another.
That sweet, podgy man is a killer? If he's so good, why are you so happy? Because he's sick and he's old.
He's had it.
He's old-school: Poisons, knives, guns.
His idea of exotic is plastic explosives.
Oh, but when he was hot He's the dean, baby.
And the dean is looking for me.
You know what that means? That means he's scared.
He's scared because I'm the best and he knows it.
So he's gotta take me out before I can get to him.
That kind, playful little cherub is a killer.
Second-raters have been tracking him down, trying to take him out.
Take out the dean, they figure, and that makes you the best.
Only he's looking for me.
Guess I make him nervous.
We've been working all this time for a professional killer.
Our first big case is nothing but a camouflage so that one killer can find another.
- You got it, buckaroo.
- I wanna die.
I don't mean that.
- Tell him you found me.
- What? - You know how to get ahold of him? - He calls daily to check our progress.
Tell him you found his son, and I'm just dying to meet with him.
We're not gonna be a party to this slaughter.
This slaughter is gonna happen with or without you.
Tell him the truth if you want.
Tell him you know who he is, who I am.
It's gonna be a lot fairer fight if we both know why we're there.
Tell him.
Fascinating class of people we're meeting on this case.
It wouldn't make much difference to a person like you if I told you how disappointed I am.
A person like me.
No, I suppose not.
Here's the check.
No, thanks.
Are you all right? You don't understand, Maddie.
It's these young guys.
They're all after me.
It's like a big race.
They all wanna see who can knock me off.
I'm dying, Maddie.
I wanna die in peace.
Now maybe Maybe after the kind of life I've led, that's something I haven't got coming.
I take on this Wrye kid I get lucky things go my way Well, he's the best.
But what if it doesn't go your way? Well, I guess I just caught the express.
That's not all bad, is it? Michael Wrye! Sounds like it's showtime.
Aren't you gonna stick around and watch? My team's sitting in the other bleachers.
Besides, it was just my job to bring you here.
You've been brought.
Hey, let's not shed any tears for Franklin Tate.
He was no saint.
Michael Wrye! - Michael Wrye? - You're Franklin Tate? Afraid so.
I hear you've been looking for me.
I hear you're the best.
How's your speed? Pretty good.
How's your aim? Very good.
- You get the check? - He's half hoping he'll lose.
He's got a 50 percent chance of being right.
- Why are we letting this happen? - They want it this way.
- We can't let them do this.
- Sure we can, it'll be easy.
Maddie! Maddie! David, we've got to do something to stop this.
Stop this, please.
Both of you.
I don't hear anything, do you? Now would be a good time to go out there and try to stop this.
Feel free.
If you're not gonna do anything, I am.
June, relax.
I'll have a little chat with the boys.
Wally! Beav! Guys! Fellas! Fellas! Guys! David! Fellas! Guys! Deep doo-doo.
David! Tate! Drop your weapon, Tate.
I mean it, Tate.
I'll blow his head off! If I may.
Tate! I consider myself a pretty fair judge of character.
And it's my feeling that this man really will blow my head off.
I spent a lot of time with this guy, Tate.
And he's a moody guy.
He hears you, he's just being difficult.
Tate! I mean it, Tate! I believe you, kid.
Now you're gonna blow his head off and I'm gonna blow your head off.
They're gonna have a devil of a time figuring out whose brains are whose.
Seems silly to me.
So why don't you just drop your gun and let him go.
You gotta learn to relax and give a girl a chance.
What happens now? Now I do what I came here to do.
Please don't kill me.
Don't kill me.
- Don't kill me.
- I heard that you were good, the best.
I was the best for a long time.
Best killer in the business.
I'm dying now, don't know if you heard about that.
Please don't kill me.
You know, dying is a funny deal.
When you know it's coming all you can think about is life.
You try to remember birthdays, can't remember many.
You get fuzzy.
You try to remember all the women.
It's not easy.
You get old.
Names, places.
I remember the face of every man I ever killed.
Some of them, the ones in the dark, I remember the quality of the darkness.
That's my hell, Michael Wrye.
That's my hell.
What are you doing? I'm doing mercy, kid.
Oh, I heard about you.
I hear about them all.
You're good.
You're damn good.
What a terrible thing.
You're not my son, but I expect if I had one, he'd be just like you.
So you listen to me.
Walk away from it, kid.
Walk away from it.
That's it.
That's what it's all been about.
That's why I was looking for you.
To tell you that.
That's why I hired them.
That's it.
Now I gotta go die.
Don't even think about it.
Cash the check.
- I'm excited.
- Excuse me? I got a great idea for a Broadway show.
Lots of singing, lots of dancing.
Big sets, lights.
Wanna hear its name? Train Station? David, it was just a lucky guess.
David, it'll never happen again in a million years.