Moonlighting s04e04 Episode Script

Tale in Two Cities

Come Walk By Night Come Fly By Day Something Is Sweeter 'cause We Met On The Way We'll Walk By Night We'll Fly By Day Moonlighting Strangers Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Captioining Made Possible By Lions Gate Home Entertainment i'm Terribly In Love.
and You Seem To Be Too, So one Of Us Has To Think And Try and Keep Things Clear.
i Do Believe That If A Woman Cares-- i Don't Care.
It's Just That i'm Used To You, That's All.
I Think We Need Some New Pillows.
One Of The Shops Is Having A Sale.
Maybe I Ought To Order A Couple.
Do You Want To Talk About It? Talk About What, Ordering Pillows? About What's Bothering You.
Nothing's Bothering Me.
What Makes You Think Something's Bothering Me? Help Me Turn The Mattress Around.
What? Help Me Turn The Mattress Around.
Now? Why Can't Carmelita Do It In The Morning? Carmelita Has A Bad Back.
What About My Bad Back? Bend Your Knees.
Why Are You So Upset With Maddie? I'm Not Upset With Maddie.
Alex, You Could Fry An Egg On Your Forehead.
Ok, 1, 2, 3.
So What Is It? I'm Not Upset With Her, But I'm Beginning To Find You A Little Trying.
All Right.
Would You Explain To Me Why A 36-Year-Old Woman With Her Own House, C.
Of Her Own Company Who Drives A More Expensive Car Than I Do, Loiters Around This House Like Some Goofball College Kid? She Is Visiting Her Family.
Now, Let's Just Finish Making The Bed.
News For You, She Is Notvisiting.
She's Hiding Out From Something Or Someone, And I Don't Like It.
Alex, Stop Being So Melodramatic.
I'm Not Being Melodramatic.
I Know My Own Daughter.
Something Is Wrong.
And I Resent The Fact That She Won't Clue Us In.
Two Weeks, And Not A Peep.
You Just Resent A Wedding.
And That's The Most Cynical, Suspicious Thing I Have Ever Heard You Say.
Says You.
Says Me.
I'm Going In There To Find Out What's Going On.
You Will Do Nothing Of The Kind.
I Won't? You Won't.
Why Won't I? Because I Don't Trust How You'll Ask Her.
Anyway, It's None Of Your Business.
I Beg Your Pardon.
It's My Daughter.
This Is Our House.
Shh! Keep Your Voice Down.
She'll Hear You.
I Will Not Keep My Voice Down! I'm Tired Of Standing Around, Twiddling My Thumbs While She's In There On The Ropes.
I'm Her Father.
I Know That, And She Knows That, But She's A Full Grown Woman.
And Maybe What's Bothering Her Is Something She Just Doesn't Want To Share With Us Right Now.
Oh Ha Ha.
She Told You.
Told Me What? Whatever It Is.
Whatever's Got Her Bollixed Up.
She Told You.
She Didn't Tell Me Anything.
It's Some Woman Thing, Isn't It? What Do You Mean By "Some Woman Thing"? Come On, What Did She Tell You? Nothing.
She Didn't Tell Me Anything.
I Am Going To Sleep.
Come To Bed, Alex.
I Just Want To Help Her, That's All.
I Know.
[Elevator Chimes] [Elevator Chimes] Mr.
Addison! It Helps When You Open Your Eyes, Doesn't It? See, Every Day I Cross My Fingers, And I Hold My Breath, And I Close My Eyes Until I Get To The Office.
And Then Maybe When I Get There And I Open My Eyes, Miss Hayes Will Be Back.
You Know How It Is Sometimes, When You Try Everything You Can Think Of To Make Something Happen, Only Nothing You Try Works.
And Then You Get To Feel Like I'm Sorry I'm Not My Normal Rock-Solid Self, But Sometimes I Think What If Miss Hayes Never Comes Back? Agnes, Don't Be Silly.
Don't Worry About That.
Miss Hayes Certainly Hasn't Seen The Last Of Us.
And We Certainly Haven't Seen The Last Of Her, Although She Does Have A Very Nice Last.
I'm In Touch With Her All The Time.
You Are? Hell, Yeah.
4 Or 5 Times A Day.
"How's Agnes, How's Bert, How's The Office?" Yakking My Ear Off.
Yak Is Good.
The Fact Is, Not Only Is She Not Awol.
She Can't Wait To Get Back.
Can't Wait.
So Bag The Rain Dance, Honey.
Any Day Now, You're Gonna Come Up Here, Peek Through This Window, And There She'll Blow.
Hollering, Slamming Doors, Just Like She Never Left.
Do You Really Think So? By My Mother's Pot Roast.
You Want To Go To The Airport With Me To Pick Her Up? Maybe She Took A Cab.
She's Here.
I Snapped Seven Wishbones Last Week.
She's Here, Or I Got A Lot Of Leftover Chicken.
Mighty Slim Eavesdropping This Side Of The Tracks Lately.
Just Like Old Times.
Macgilicuddy's Getting His Head Handed To Him.
I Knew She Couldn't Stay Away.
I Knew She'd Run Out Of Heads To Hand People In Chicago.
Miss Dipesto, Make A Lunch Date For Miss Hayes And Myself.
Say 12:30.
Say L'orangerie.
Say No More.
May I Have Some Privacy, Please? Move It, Move It, Move It, Kids.
I Want Heads Down, Arms Folded.
It's Quiet Time.
Back So Soon.
I Didn't Even-- Mr.
How Are You? Hi.
Where's Miss Hayes? I Thought She Was In Chicago.
Very Good, Viola.
The Windy City.
It's Not That Windy.
What's This All About, Boys? This? This.
This? It's Nothing.
Nothing, Huh? Well, Then You Boys Wouldn't Mind Stepping Outside And Giving Me Five Laps.
Yes, Sir.
Yes, Sir.
I'm Here To See A David Addison.
You're Not Miss Hayes.
Hello, Mr.
Leonard Haven, Carroll Accounting.
We Spoke.
Remember? Payroll Management, Bill Pay-- Watch It, Pal! You Said Something About Hell In A Handbasket.
Is Now Not A Good Time? Hey, You Got Two More To Go, Buster! Do Them For Me, Squirt.
I Got Better Things To Do.
Excuse Me For Barging In Like This, Mr.
Addison, But I Got To Talk To Somebody Or I'm Going To Explode.
It's That Lizard Macgilicuddy! That Satyr, That One-Eyed Jack! As You May Remember, Sir, About Two Weeks, His Marriage Broke Up, Ha! No Surprise.
For The Last Three Days, He's Been All Over Agnes.
My Girl! Like Some Like Some Giant Squid.
How Could She Succumb To A Masher Like That? How Could She Do This To Me, Huh? How? Huh? Mr.
Addison? Look, UhBert, It's Nothing Personal, But I'd Like To Be Alone For A Few Minutes.
Alone? Yeah.
You Know, By Myself.
Oh, I Know.
I Do.
It Sure Is Tough Being A Guy, Isn't It, Mr.
Addison? I Know.
I'll Order A Nice Platter Of Petits Fours? Honey, This Is Not A Croquet Match.
It's A Cocktail Party.
Let's Have Some Hot Hors D'oeuvres.
So I'll Make Some Rumaki.
Chicken Livers.
Well, I Don't Have To Eat Them.
I'll Get The Booze.
Hi, Dear.
Late Start Today, Dad? No.
Just Wanted To Wait Around And Say Good Morning To You.
Good Morning.
Oh, I'm Sorry.
Did You Want To Talk? Well Your Mother And I Had A Whale Of An Idea.
A Whale Of An Idea.
How Would You React To The Notion Of Having A Kind Of, Oh, A Spur Of The Moment Sort Of Get-Together Around Here? A Spur Of The Moment Sort Of Get-Together? A Get-Together.
A Shindig.
A Shindig, Here? When? Well, I Don't Know.
We Were Thinking, Why Not Tonight? That Certainly Would Be Spur Of The Moment.
We'll Keep It Small.
And You'll Know Most Of The People.
The Sommers, The Overmeyers We're Not Exactly The Hot Tub Crowd, But Your Old Dad Here Hasn't Forgotten How To Shake Up A Pretty Good Margarita.
I Know That, Daddy.
But Would The World Fall Apart If It's Not Tonight? I'm Sorry.
Would The WorldWhat? No.
I Mean, Why Tonight? Why Not Next Week? I Don't Think You Heard Me.
I Said Party, Not Cod Liver Oil.
No, I Heard You.
Just Just What? We Have Some People Over, You Nod At Them Over The Top Of Your Highball Glass, We Switch On Some Cha-Cha Music And-- We Just Thought It Would Be Pleasant For You, And For Us, To Have A Little Fun This Evening And See Some Friends, That's All.
Look, I Came Here To Be With You Two, To Relax, Not To Be Scrutinized By People I Haven't Seen In 10 Years.
Scrutinized? I Don't Think Anybody Would Come Over Here To Scrutinize.
Just Wait A Second.
Would Someone Please Tell Me What's So God Awful About Wanting To Do Something Nice For Our Daughter? What's The Crime? The Crime Is, Daddy, You're Cornering Me.
Cornering You? You Asked Me What I Think.
You Want To Know My Opinion.
And Then When I Tell You, You Get Angry At Me.
I Am Not Angry With You.
Your Mother Is Not Angry With You.
No One Is Angry With You.
All We Want To Do Is Have A Happy Little Get-Together.
Nobody's Angry.
Nobody Is.
Well, That Settles That.
Excuse Me.
If I Wanted To Be Badgered, I'd Go To L.
Well, I Have An Appointment Downtown.
You Girls Decide What You Want.
I Don't Really Care.
It Wasn't My Idea Anyway.
I'm Sorry I Got So Upset.
I'm Sorry I Upset Him.
Maddie For Two Weeks, I Have Watched You Sit Around Here Wrestling With Some Private Something.
Shutting Us Out, Shutting The World Out.
And That's Just Fine.
And For Two Weeks, I've Watched That Man Reach Out To You And Ask You And Beg You And Shame You Into Sharing Your Problems With Him.
But You Can't Or You Won't.
And That's Just Fine.
But Tonight We're Having A Party.
And We're Inviting Our Friends Over To Meet Our Daughter.
And, Maddie, You Are Going To Be There.
And You're Going To Smile, And You're Going To Laugh.
And You're Going To Have A Wonderful Time.
And You Are Going To Do It For Him.
You Excuse Me.
I Have Lots Of Calls To Make, Things To Do.
Look At That.
It's Only Mr.
Addison, I Can't Do Anything For You Without Some Semblance Of Cooperation.
What's The Matter? Missing A Few Beans? Could You Please Tell Me What This Is? A Garter.
Didn't Have Time To Get A Receipt.
I Mean This.
What Is This? Cocktail Napkin.
But You've Written A Check On It In The Amount Of $175.
Was It A Business Expense? I Needed An Advance.
And The Woman That Does The Advancing Has Been Doing A Lot Of Retreating Lately.
Addison, Your Records Are Chaotic.
Your Bills Are In Arrears.
And Your Payroll Is A Mess.
So Saw My Hands Off.
[Knock On Door] Come In.
Excuse Me, Mr.
What Is It, Agnes? I Was Just Wondering If I Could Leave A Little Early Today So I Could Stop By Miss Hayes' House? I Just Realized That Nobody's Picked Up Her Mail Or Turned Her Lights On.
That's A Dead Giveaway To Burglars.
This Is A Man's Job, Agnes.
Who Knows What Fiend Could Be Pawing Through Her Priceless Collection Of Underwear Even As We Speak? We'll Continue This Later? Write Mr.
Haven A Check, Please.
[Telephone Rings] [Ring] hi.
This Is Maddie Hayes.
I'm Not Here Right Here.
but Please Leave Your Name-- [Beep] [Rewind] maddie, It's Dirty Dave.
fyi, Yours Truly Is Stopping Off At Trader Joe's, on The Way Home, 'cause Guess What.
i'm Making You Dinner.
candlelight, Vino, And Steak A La Dave.
clear Off A Space On The Rug, Baby.
[Beep] hey, Goldilocks, You Sick? taking A Nap? too Much Porridge? Where You Hiding? Don't Hang Up, Maddie! Maddie, Hello, Hello, It's David.
Hey! [Dial Tone] A Couple Of Days Ago, I Came Home From Work.
And The Door Was Open.
She'd Backed A Van Up To The Apartment.
Everything Everything Was Gone.
Tough Luck, Macgilicuddy.
I Was Pretty Bitter At First, But Then I Remembered What My Dad Said To Me, "Macgilicuddy" He Said, You Never Get Anywhere In This Life By Crying In Your Beer.
" I Admire Your Strength, Macgilicuddy.
Thanks For Being Here.
Excuse Me While I Procure Some More Cocktail Franks.
Come On.
Where? Away.
Far Away.
Yeah, But I'm Having A Drink With Macgilicuddy-- Agnes, I Never Have To Know Anything About What's Been Going On Here.
Nothing's Going On Here, Herbert.
Macgilicuddy's Wife Just Left Him.
He Really Needs A Friend.
A Friend? You're Just Too Good Of A Person To See Him For What He Really Is.
Herbert, What Are You Talking About? The Man Is A Philandering, Womanizing Glutton.
And You're The Next Morsel On His Menu.
Macgilicuddy? That Shifty Maggot.
He's A Toad A Clogged Pore, Night Soil.
You're Jealous, Aren't You? Jealous? Jealous? Are You Crazy? You Are Jealous.
Poor Macgilicuddy's Hit Rock Bottom, But Do You Have One Iota Of Sympathy For Him? No.
All You Have Are Your Petty, Selfish Jealousies.
Now Come On, Let Go Of My Hands.
You Heard The Lady.
Buzz Off, Bub.
Listen, Hubert-- Keep It Up, Pal.
You'll Be Spitting Chiclets.
Stop It, Both Of You.
Herbert, No One Asked You To Be My Guardian Angel.
I'm Not Leaving Here Without You.
Oh, Yes, You Are.
Because I Am Exercising My Constitutional Right For Free Association By Having Cocktail Franks With Whomever I Please.
You Better Be Sure Your Blue Cross Is Paid Up, Bucko.
This Is Maddie Hayes.
I'm Not Here Right Here, please Leave Your Name And Number at The Sound Of The Beep, and I'll Get Right Back To You.
[Beep] I'm Still Playing By Your Rules, Maddie.
I'm Not Calling Chicago So I Haven't Broken Our Deal, But I Know That You Check Your Messages.
So Listen Up.
You Want To Take A Powder Every Time I Look At You Slant-Wise, That's Fine.
It's Just Fine.
I'll Tell You What's Not Fine, Though.
I'm Tired Of Playing By Your Rules, I'm Tired Of Your Pacts.
And I Am Sick And Tired Of Waiting For You To Get Your Program Together.
I Got Maybe Two Score And 7 Before They Put Me Back In The Ground.
And I'll Tell You Something, I Have Wasted Way Too Much Time On You.
I Have Friends, I Have A Business To Run, And I Have A Life, And I'm Gonna Get Back To It.
So I'll Tell You What, Maddie.
Why Don't You Just Stay In Chicago? Ok, Maddie? [Elevator Chimes] Well.
Well? Thanks Again.
You're A Good Listener.
What Are Friends For? If My Wife Had Been Half The Woman You Are, I'd Be The Luckiest Man In The World.
Is She Really Going Out With Him Well, There She Is, Let's Ask Her Betty, Is That Jimmy's Ring You're Wearing Um-Hmm Gee, It Must Be Great Riding With Him Is He Picking You Up After School Today Mm-Mm By The Way, Where Did You Meet Him I Met Him At The Candy Store Turned Around And Smiled At Me You Get The Picture Yes, We See That's When I Fell For The Leader Of The Pack Tete-A-Tete With My Girl, Huh? Now We'll See Who The Squirt Is, Bucko.
I'm Calling You Out They Told Me He Was Bad Unless You're Chicken.
But I Knew He Was Sad That's Why I Fell For The Leader Of The Pack He's Sort Of Smart He Kissed Me Good-Bye Oh, My God.
As He Drove Away Herbert, Don't! I Begged Him To Go Slow Whether He Heard, I'll Never Know No, No, No, No, No Look Out, Look Out, Look Out! Move Over.
Move Over.
What Do You Say You And Me Go Somewhere And Blow Off Some Steam? Mm! Thank You Very Much.
Hot Hors D'oeuvres, Anyone? It's Delicious.
What Is It? Rumaki.
Have Some.
Rumaki, Huh? I'll Try One Of Those.
I'm Having The Best Round Of My Life.
But The Ball Catches Sand So I Take Out My 5 Iron.
I Swing! The Ball Bounces Onto The Green, Hits The Pin.
Bingo, Right Into The Hole For An Eagle.
Nice Shot.
It Would Have Been, Except It Wasn't My Ball.
Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me-- Oh, Yes.
Right Through There To The Right.
The First Door.
Is She Still Upstairs Getting Dressed? She'll Be Down In A Minute.
Why Are You Looking At Me Like That For? Just Wondering How An Ugly Old Joe Like Me Wound Up With A Beautiful Daughter Like You.
Oh, My Goodness.
Now, Now, None Of Them Bite.
Cousins! How Are You? Fine, Fine.
Let Me Look At You.
Golly, It's Been A Long Time.
It Certainly Has.
Where's Mr.
Cousins? Oh, He's Over At The Grandview, I'm Afraid.
Oh, That's All Right.
I'm Sure The Party's Gonna Go On For A While.
He Can Drop In Later.
It Isn't That He Didn't Want To Come, But Even If We Could Have Gotten The Ambulance, And A Nurse, The Oxygen Is Such A Bother.
He's At The Grandview.
It's A Lovely Facility.
You Remember, Don't You? I'll Have A Drink.
Haddie Mayes.
Leon Summers.
I Put Gum In Your Hair.
Eighth Grade, Remember? Leon Is Always Telling Customers How He Put Gum In The Blue Moon Champoo Girl's Hair Really? This Is My Wife Elinore, My Daughter Opal.
This Is Maddie Hayes.
Although In The Av Club, We Used To Call Her Haddie Mayes.
You Did? Opal Wants To Be A Model.
Maybe Miss Hayes Can Teach You How To Put On Make-Up.
It Is Still Miss Hayes, Isn't It? Yes.
A Lot Of White Wine Drinkers Out There Tonight.
Maddie Seems To Be Enjoying Herself.
You Think So? And You Look Almost Relaxed.
With A Little Help From King William.
Not Too Much, I Hope.
[Doorbell Rings] I'll Get It.
Yes? Sorry To Bother You.
I'm Steve Hill, The New Neighbor From Across The Street.
The Doctor.
Hey, That's One Hell Of A Beautiful Lawn You Have Over There.
Alex Hayes.
I Didn't Realize You Were Busy.
We're Just Having A Little Get-Together.
Come On In.
Oh, Thanks.
I Just Wanted To Drop Off The Mail.
It Got Delivered To Me By Mistake.
Isn't That The Civil Service For You.
Right? Come On, Come On And Have A Little Something To Lift Your Spirits.
I Don't Want To Intrude.
I Won't Take No For An Answer.
Honey, Dr.
Hill From Across The Street.
This Is My Wife Virginia.
I'm Pleased To Meet You.
My Husband's A Big Fan Of Your Lawn.
Why Don't You Take Care Of The Introductions And I'll Make The Man A Drink? What's Your Poison? Mineral Water's Fine.
I Guess I Can Dip Up Something Like That.
Come On In.
I'm A Man Yes, I Am But I Can't Help But Love You So No, No, No I'm A Man Yes, I Am But I Can't Help But Love You So Would You Bring Us Two More Of These, Please, And Keep The Change.
["I'm A Man" Playing] Hi, Babe.
Here's To Kentucky.
I Guess The Cat's Out Of The Bag, Mr.
Dump The Drink Down Your Throat, Bert.
I'm A Man Yes, I Am And I Can't Help But Love You So No, No, No I'm A Man Yes, I Am I Don't Have Any Secrets From You, Mr.
You've Seen The Two Bert Violas.
One Gets His Shoes Shined Twice A Week And Buys Generic Toilet Paper.
The Other Terminator A Cold-Blooded Killing Machine.
In Retrospect, I Think I May Have Overreacted A Little With Agnes' New Boyfriend.
I Don't Know About That, Bert.
Cleaning Prison Laundry Could Be An Exciting And Rewarding Career.
It Would Have Been Worth It To See Macgilicuddy's Head Up On A Pike.
I Don't Know.
You Got Your Pike Costs, Permits, Wall Mounting, Spotlights.
Decapitation's Got A Lot Of Overhead.
Go Ahead, Joke.
Who Cares? I've Got A Pair Of Cuckold's Horns Where My Future Used To Be.
Just Take A Look Around This Place.
You Got About A Half Ton Of Soft, Voluptuous, Perfumed Feminine Mystery, All Within Lip Reach, Not To Mention Who Knows How Much Silicon? You're Acting Like You're In A Burn Ward.
I Can't Help It.
What Did I Do To Bring This Curse Down On Me? You Want The Bitter Truth? You Put Your Own Head In The Noose.
When Are Things At Their Best With Women? When You Won't Give Them A Second Look, Am I Right? That's The Way It Was With Agnes In The Beginning.
Yeah, And Now What? Phone Calls Every Night, Leaving The Toilet Seat Down, And Where Do They Send Your Mail? To Bert Viola, "Care Of The Dumper.
" You Couldn't Find Me With A Plumber's Helper.
As Soon As A Broad Knows You Care, She Starts Zipping Up The Body Bag.
But Somewhere, There's Got To Be A Woman Who's Worth It.
No, I Don't Think So.
Someone Told Me I Might Find Some More Rumaki In Here.
Did You Check Under The Coffee Table In The Living Room? I'm Steve Hill.
And You Must Be Maddie.
Nice To Meet You.
I Live Across The Street.
Oh, You're The One With The-- Nice Lawn, Right.
Well, I Guess That's Going To Be My Epitaph.
A Quarter Century Of Schooling And People Only Remember Me As The Guy Who Conquered Crabgrass.
Well, You Could Stop Watering, Except My Father Would Be Crushed.
Not As Much As He'll Be If I Don't Drag You Back To The Party.
He Sent You In Here.
He Wants To Make Sure You're Having A Good Time In The Kitchen With No One To Talk To.
Well, It's Not Exactly Woodstock Out There, Is It? Nope.
Well, I Don't Want To Keep You.
You're The Guest Of Honor, So-- Do You Have A Car? What? Do You Like To Drive Fast? Is There A Radio? Sure, I Got A Radio.
Would You Like To Give Me A Tour Of The Local Attractions? Now? Right Now.
Let's Take A Drive.
I Haven't Been Out Of This House In A Week.
I Don't Know.
There's Not Much To See.
So Tell Me Who The Happy Seaman Is, Bert? Is The Happy Seaman The Guy With One Girl Back In Baltimore, Who Dunks The Doughnut One Month Out Of The Year, Or Is The Happy Seaman The Guy With A Doughnut In Every Port? I Love Doughnuts, Mr.
That A Boy, Bert.
In This World, It's All You Can Eat.
Your Batting Average Goes Way Up When You Can Hit The Ball To All Fields.
How Right You Are, Sir.
A Couple Of Home Runs Just Walked In.
They Certainly Are Pleasant-Looking.
They're Talking To Us, Bert.
What? Body Language.
They're Throwing Their Shoulders Back.
What Happens When You Throw Your Shoulders Back? That's Right.
Hope You Wore Clean Underwear, Bertie.
My Purple Ones.
Excuse Me.
Could You Bring Us A Couple More Of These? And Buy Those Two Young Ladies Down There Something On The Sheik And Me.
What If They're Drinking $200 Bottles Of Champagne, Sir? Then They'll Have Ample Opportunity To Show Us Their Appreciation.
To The Hunt.
To The Hunt.
Wow, Mr.
Not Only Is It Very Nice Of You Girls To Invite Us Back To Your Place, It Was An Errand Of Mercy.
With The Sheik's Asthma, The Smoke In That Place Would Have Put Him In An Iron Lung For The Rest Of His Life.
Much Better.
It Was A Mustard Gas Factory.
Not To Mention A Vipers' Nest.
They Actually Have Rolodex Cards On The Bar So You Don't Have To Write Your Number On A Cocktail Napkin.
Sad, Isn't It? Thank You.
We Got The Condo In Redondo Is Very, Very, Very Nice, Uh! How About A Margarita? ¿por Que No? The Bar's Over There, And I'll Fire Up The Jacuzzi.
How About Giving Me A Hand With The Cover? Sure.
Very, Very, Very Nice Jacuzzis, Margaritas.
Fish In A Barrel, Bertie.
Fish In A Barrel.
Sir, You Wouldn't Have A Spare Pair Of Speedos In The Trunk Of Your Car, By Any Chance, Would You? Not To Worry, Bert.
I've Got A Feeling, Deep Down In My Bones That We Have Fallen In With The Clothing Optional Crowd.
I'm Six Months From Graduating, I'm Sitting There In This Seminar, And This Visiting Professor, You Know, Mayo Clinic, A Leader In Research On Stress Related To The Medical Profession, He's Sitting There Saying To All Of Us, "Why Do You Want To Be Doctors?" And I'm Thinking, To Help People? And He Says, "To Help People," And He Kind Of Laughs And He Says, "You Better Be Doing It "Because You Like To Open People Up, "Stick Your Hands Inside All That Ooze, Because, Folks, That's What Doctors Do.
" You Know, A Fellow Like Me, Getting Shanghaied From A Party By A Woman Like You, I Won't Lie.
It Does Wonders For Your Self-Esteem.
But This Silent Treatment Well, Let's Just Say It's Kind Of Undoing All Your Hard Work.
So What About You? What's The Maddie Hayes Story? Huh? Excuse Me? Look, Would You Rather I Took You Home? I'm Sorry.
Did I Go Away On You? I've Been Doing That A Lot Lately.
Is Something The Matter? No.
God, This Is Embarrassing.
You Don't Even Know Me.
I'm Really Not Like This.
Usually I'm Fun, I Think.
But Lately, I Don't Know What It Is.
I Feel Horrible All The Time.
I Sleep All The Time, But Still Feel Exhausted.
I Hate To Sound Like A Doctor, But When Was The Last Time You Had A Checkup? Excuse Me? I'll Make You A Deal.
I Have To Stop By The Hospital And Look In On A Patient Anyway.
Why Don't You Let Me Conk Your Knees With My Rubber Mallet? I Feel So Connected To Nature When I Look At The Ocean.
Well, There's Nothing More Mysterious.
Or Seductive.
The Moon's Almost Full.
Maybe The Grunion Will Run Tonight.
Grunion? Gives Me Goose Bumps Just Thinking About Them, The Way They Wash Up Onto The Beach In Wave After Wave After Wave, Their Silvery Little Bodies Writhing In The Moonlit Surf.
Haven't You Ever Seen Them Before? No.
But I've Seen "From Here To Eternity.
" The Female Thrusts Her Body Down Into The Moist Sand To Lay Her Eggs, While The Male Just Stands There Waiting ReadyTo Discharge His Duty.
Boy, This Water Sure Is Hot.
Private Detective, Huh? Must Be Pretty Interesting Work.
It Has Its Rewards.
We Get A Lot Of Personal Gratification Knowing We Brought The Vice President Back In One Piece.
The Vice President, I Didn't Know He Was Missing.
I Must Be Doing My Job.
Excuse Me For Interrupting.
You're Dripping On The Carpet, Sheik.
Let Me Get You Another Towel.
Addison, I Am Totally Unprepared For This.
I Hope You Learned Your Lesson.
If You're Going To Jump Out Of An Airplane, Always Bring A Parachute.
Fortunately, I Happen To Have A Couple Extra Parachutes In My Wallet.
That's Very Thoughtful Of You, Sir, But That's Not The Problem.
I Can't Stop Thinking About Agnes.
She's A Terrific Woman, Sir.
Warm Loving.
Ok, So Maybe Things Haven't Been So Great Between Us Lately.
Maybe She Has Every Reason In The World To Want To Eat Cocktail Franks With Macgilicuddy.
But A--A Normal, Rational, Mature Individual Would Want To Work It Out, To Hash It Over, To, Uh Resolve Our Differences Instead Of Going Off Half-Cocked On Some Grunion Run.
It's Not That Genevieve Isn't Delightful.
But This Isn't Right.
Not Here.
Not This Way.
Not Now.
Now, I Know That, Uh, That Sounds Old-Fashioned, And It Might Stand In The Way Of My Career But It's How I Feel.
I Agree With You Let's Say Good Night To Our Hostess And Blow This Joint.
What A Relief.
I Didn't Know How I Was Ever Going To Be Able To Face Myself In The Mirror Again.
I'll Catch Up With You Later.
How Are You Going To Get Home? Don't Worry About Me.
How Are You Doing? Ok.
It's Amazing What You Can Talk Yourself Out Of.
I Kept Telling Myself It Was Stress, Or The Travel Or Fatigue.
I Heard Him Kill The Engine, But I Didn't Hear The Car Door Open.
Maybe They're Talking Or Something.
[Car Door Opens] Oh, There's The Car Door.
Where Are You Going? The Bathroom.
Alex Alex What? I'm Going To The Bathroom.
For Goodness Sake, Ginny.
It's 2:00 In The Morning.
Will You Roll Over And Go To Sleep? I Didn't Hear You Come In.
Hi, Daddy.
Well, How Was Your Evening? Fine.
I'm Sorry I Ducked Out Of The Party.
It Was A Really Nice Party.
Are You Gonna Throw This Guy Back In The Water? Well, Actually, I Think I'll Be Seeing Quite A Lot Of Him.
Really? Really.
Well, Like I Said, I Didn't Hear You Come In.
I'd Better Get Back To Bed.
Good Night.
Good Night.
it's Dirty Dave, The Big Blue Moon Bopper.
you've Reached The Machine Of Agnes Dipesto.
please Wait For The Beep, and State Your Manifesto.
[Beep] Hello, Agnes.
It's Me--Maddie.
Just Calling To Say Hi.
Not Much Happening This End.
Actually I Do Have Some News.
I Just Found Out I'm Pregnant.
I Had To Tell Somebody.
I Just Wasn't Sure Who That Someone Should Be.
Then I Thought Of You.
Makes Sense, Right? I Mean, That's The Way Nature's Supposed To Work.
Besides, My Biological Clock Is Ticking.
Agnes, You're The Only Person I've Told, And You Have To Promise Not To Tell Anyone, Not Even Mr.
Especially Not Mr.
Well, I Guess That's All My News.
So I Guess I'll Say [Beep] [Dial Tone] Good-Bye.
I Miss You.
You Leaving? Got To Go.
You Know, I Was Thinking Maybe-- Or Maybe Not.
Say, Sir Sir, Uh Mr.
, Uh Mr Mr.
Could You Spare Some Change? Stay Warm, Chief.
Captioning Made Possible By Lions Gate Home Entertainment Captioned By The National Captioning Institute --TC6 WAS HERE-- So Come Walk The Night Come Fly By Day Something Is Sweeter 'cause We Met Along The Way There Is The Sun And Moon They Sing Their Own Sweet Tune Watch Them When Dawn Is New Sharing One Space We'll Walk By Night We'll Fly By Day Moonlighting Strangers Who Just Met On The Way