Mr. Corman (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

Okay, we are almost out of time,
and we got one more question.
What are three things
that contributed to the success
of the Lewis and Clark Expedition?
Three things. Who's got one?
-Mandy. Always on it.
-Sacagawea.
Sacagawea, their female guide
of the Shoshone tribe. Very good.
Who else has one?
Why you gotta say
she's their female guide?
Why can't she just be their guide?
Well, I think it's relevant
that she was female.
In Lewis and Clark's time,
you know, early 1800s,
it was rare for a female like Sacagawea…
to be empowered
with any kind of leadership role.
It's rare today too.
That's a great point.
It is still way too rare.
All I'm saying is 200 years ago,
it was definitely a lot worse.
Which I think is worth acknowledging.
True.
Cool. Who else has one?
I'm gonna pick a name.
-Paul.
-Huh?
-Lewis and Clark.
-Yeah?
Looking for something else
that contributed to their success.
I don't know.
They probably just got lucky.
Okay, no, that's a good answer.
-You think they just got lucky?
-I mean, probably.
Do you think that a lot of success
comes down to luck?
Definitely.
Interesting.
Okay, who agrees with Paul about this?
Anybody? Anybody disagree?
Nice. Ramon, what do you think?
No. Like, if you're successful,
that's because you've worked for it.
You could be like, "I got bad luck."
But when somebody says they got bad luck,
they did something, you know?
They lied. They stole something.
They're dipping their genitals
into somewhere they shouldn't be dipping--
-Okay.
-I'm serious though.
I know, and that's a good argument.
But I'm curious
how everyone feels about this.
Who here thinks they're lucky?
I want everyone to answer this question.
I'll give you a second to think about it.
Now raise your hand
if you think you're a lucky person.
Just Ramon? Okay, raise your hand
if you think you're unlucky.
Got it. Okay, you can put your hands down.
-What about you, Mr. Corman?
-What's that?
You didn't raise your hand.
Me? No, I--
I mean, I feel like a lucky person.
For sure.
You know what?
That's time, so let's pack up.
And congratulations on finishing
your first week of fifth grade.
That's no small feat.
Everybody, have a great weekend.
And I'll see ya Monday.
Seriously, you know my life.
Things like this
don't usually happen for me.
Yeah, he just DMed me,
like, out of nowhere.
And now we're going to this thing tonight.
It's at Knott's Berry Farm.
I know. So blessed right now.
That all?
Being the best is not a game of chance.
It's the right choice,
right now, every time.
Yo, you want some spaghetti?
-Do we have sauce?
-We have salt. We have some oil.
Yeah. I'm good.
Are you really not gonna eat
just 'cause we don't have sauce?
The one and only Cadillac Escalade.
You're right.
-This is actually delicious.
-So what do you wanna do tonight?
What?
My bad. Did something happen?
-What do you mean?
-Did Megan start seeing someone?
I have no idea. Why would you ask me that?
'Cause you're acting weird like,
"What do you wanna do tonight?"
-That's not weird.
-It is weird.
It's not weird to ask someone what
they feel like doing on a Friday night.
It is for you. That's why I'm asking.
Are you okay?
I'm fine. I--
-There's--
-What?
There was this woman at the store.
She was, like, talking on her phone
about going to Knott's Berry Farm.
-And, I don't know. I was--
-So… what?
-So you wanna go to Knott's?
-No, I don't wanna go to Knott's.
-I'm saying--
-Okay, so?
It's just, she seemed excited
about her life. It was sweet.
-You're sweet.
-That's great.
-I believe you.
-Thank you so much.
I just-- I need to do something tonight.
Can we please do that?
You know,
why don't you just play some music?
-No.
-No? Okay.
How about some Mario Kart?
-Dude. No. I'm saying that--
-Well, then what do you wanna do then?
-Well, I'm asking you.
-All right.
-This is hard.
-I know.
-It feels like it shouldn't be this hard.
-I know.
Okay, we gotta-- We can figure this out.
We could go out and find some girls?
-"Find some girls?"
-Yeah.
-Like find your keys?
-Come on. Don't start--
-Like find an animal to go hunt and kill?
-Who said animal?
-Who said killing animals?
-To eat her?
You were the one that said
there was a girl in a store.
-Something about--
-A woman.
-I didn't say a girl. I said a woman.
-Oh, my God.
Who do you think you're talking to?
I respect women--
You know what, this isn't about girls.
-All right, we could do-- Women.
-Women.
We could do anything at all tonight.
-Right.
-Right?
Remember before we could drive?
We used to talk all this shit
about everything we were gonna do
once we could do anything we wanted to.
So, like, if we were 15 again,
what would we do?
-Go to a bar and talk to girls.
-It's true.
-Fuck.
-Right? Come on.
What, you don't wanna go to a bar?
No. You know what? We should go. Let's go.
-We don't have to go to a bar.
-I'm just saying,
like, even if we did go to a bar
and talked to some girls,
it's not like they'd have
anything interesting to say.
-Why wouldn't they?
-'Cause they're girls at a bar.
That is incredibly sexist.
-I didn't mean it like that.
-You are horrible.
Not because they're girls.
It's because they're people.
I'm saying most people
don't have anything interesting to say,
especially at bars.
-Wait, didn't you meet Megan in a bar?
-That's different.
We had a friend that introduced us.
-It's different.
-Okay.
But you were physically inside a bar, man.
The point I'm making is,
why would I go talk to somebody
if they're not gonna have
anything interesting to say?
Like, what am I really doing?
Just trying to have sex with a girl?
That's not all you're trying to do.
Why do I feel it's a bad thing to say yes?
Yes, sex is great.
If they want to, why not?
Yeah, but even if they want to,
I'm saying I won't be able to enjoy it
because I'll just be thinking
the whole time
about all the things she said
back at the bar
that were not interesting at all,
but I acted like they were interesting,
and I smiled like a phony fuck,
and I'd just be hating myself
the whole time.
Okay. So we shouldn't go to a bar.
-Maybe we should though. Well, you--
-Dude, what?
-We said we were gonna try something new.
-I didn't say that.
-I've never said that.
-Well, we can't just sit here. Okay.
It can't be just either we go to a bar
or we stay here and play video games.
There has to be more than two choices.
Dude, listen to yourself.
-You can't be serious. No, you're not.
-I'm pretty sure that I am.
-How much do you make in a year?
-I have no idea.
-What?
-Horseshit.
-Why would I know that?
-Do you not pay taxes?
-Is that not a thing you do?
-I do.
I just don't keep track
of that information
throughout the course of the year.
-Doesn't your dad do your taxes?
-Exactly. Yes, he does.
Okay, fine.
So even if you don't know
how much you make,
that doesn't mean
you're below the poverty line.
-I'm pretty sure that I am.
-Okay, wait.
We can go here.
Rendition Room, it's called.
-I'm down.
-It's thirteen minutes away.
I can drive, but we have to take two cars.
-Yeah, I can drive.
-You just smoked.
-But I haven't had anything to drink.
-Sure you can afford the gas?
Okay. We can all fit in my car.
Do you really not know
what your annual income is?
-Wait. Hold on.
-No, Victor,
not all of us are spending
the majority of our waking lives
-climbing the corporate ladder like you.
-Don't talk shit about UPS
-'cause you're jealous.
-I'm not talking shit.
I'm saying it is a corporation
and you're literally climbing its ladder…
-It's a great company.
-…on a regular basis.
-I'm not gonna apologize for it.
-I'm not saying you should apologize.
It's a good company
'cause it's a fair company.
-Dude. Can we please just--
-I tell this to my drivers all the time.
You treat UPS well,
UPS treats you well, right?
And I treat UPS well. Perfect. Bam.
Right? You think I got to where I am
in the corporation overnight?
-You said "corporation."
-I just walked in there,
and they were like, "Ay, yo.
You're an on-rate Supervisor?" Fuck no.
-Yo, where you going?
-I'm going out… into the world.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-Drunk as a box of birds.
-What?
-Nothing. The door is locked.
-No, it's not.
Holy Jesus. Why can't I--
Thank you.
So, how's your night?
Ridiculous.
My friends are all dysfunctional people.
-How are you?
-I am good.
-What was that?
-What?
-Obviously, something's bothering you.
-Nothing's bothering me.
Okay.
I wanted to ask you though.
Do you know who Sacagawea is?
Sure.
Do you think it's wrong for me to call her
Lewis and Clark's female guide?
-What do you mean?
-Instead of just calling her their guide.
Darling. Don't do that to yourself.
Not doing anything to myself.
You are a good man.
Well, thank you.
I appreciate your non-biased opinion.
And you're doing good work
teaching young people
that need to be taught things.
They're lucky to have you.
Back when I was in school,
it was a complete waste of time.
Most of my students
would probably say the same thing.
Fine. You wanna be useless.
You're useless.
At least you have a job.
Which is more than Lisa can say
about her son.
Everybody's so proud of you, you know,
when I get together with them
and they ask what you're doing,
and I tell them.
They're just all so proud.
Not like when you were
in the music business.
-Then they were concerned.
-I wasn't in the music business.
Exactly.
You have to make money to be in business.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
you know I love music.
And that's what's important, you know?
That you love it.
You play. You love it.
-That's what matters.
-Yeah, but I don't play.
No, I don't mean shows.
I mean for yourself.
Yeah, I don't do that.
I haven't played anything at all
in, like, a year.
Well, you didn't tell me that.
Yeah.
Well, fuck it. One less thing, right?
In the end,
all that matters is family, so…
-That's all that matters? It's depressing.
-No, it's not.
So you're saying, what,
the only thing that matters
in my entire life is just you and Beth,
and that's it?
No, of course I didn't mean that,
obviously.
I meant that someday
maybe you'll start a family
and then you'll know what I mean.
I might not start a family.
-I said maybe.
-And even if I did start a family,
I might not know what you mean.
You will.
Shouldn't all that matters be
the moment we're living in right now?
No.
Okay.
All right.
You're wonderful.
No.
Thank you.
Okay, fine.
-Thanks.
-Yeah. No worries.
Yo, there you are.
-Ay.
-Yo.
-How long you been here?
-Not too long.
Shit. I'm sorry man.
-I didn't see you. Where were you?
-Right here.
-Yeah, my bad.
-All good.
How you been?
Yeah, man. Good, good.
Dope. You been playing anywhere lately or…
No, I stopped.
-You stopped?
-Yeah.
Just playing for myself now.
-Come on, man. You can't give up.
-Yeah.
How about you?
Shit, man. Me?
I just been staying relentless, you know?
Step by step,
getting the ball down the field.
I've been playing
a lot of great music lately,
but honestly, nowadays in this industry
it's about having
a lot of different irons in the fire.
Placing multiple bets,
getting it however the fuck you can,
because the demand for content
nowadays is insane.
So I started doing some hosting, you know?
A little bit of acting,
some scripted, some unscripted,
working behind the camera, but…
I got verified a couple months ago,
so I must be doing something right.
That's great.
Yeah. Yeah, man. Things are pretty good.
-Yeah.
-Happy to hear it.
Yeah.
Yo! For sure. Bro!
No, thanks.
What do you mean "No, thanks"?
I just asked you to come outside to smoke.
Is that why you asked me to come outside?
-Very confident.
-Did that work?
-Totally, but--
-Really?
-But you're not drinking either.
-How'd you know?
'Cause you were holding
a glass of club soda when I met you.
That could've been vodka.
There was a lime in it.
No, I can tell you're not drinking.
Don't worry. I like it.
Thanks.
Unless…
You're not, like,
Mormon or something, are you?
I'm actually Muslim.
Really? That's really great.
Sorry. Yeah, that was-- I was joking.
That's not really that funny.
I just meant, you know,
'cause Muslims don't drink.
How would you know that
if you're not Muslim?
I'm pretty sure it's part of the religion.
Well, thanks for explaining that.
Maybe I should have a cigarette.
You should have a drink
is what you should have.
No, I really do not drink.
But one smoke's okay. Right?
Okay.
As you wish.
Is that a Princess Bride reference?
Yes. Okay. Oh, my God. I like you again.
Nice.
So, where are you from?
Here.
No, like where were you born?
I was born and raised here.
Wait, what? You're from LA?
-No. Literally no one is from LA.
-I've heard that.
What, is your family,
like, in the business?
-You mean plastics?
-What?
Yeah. No, it's…
My mom's in real estate
and her dad was a plumber,
and they're both from LA.
Hold on. Your mom
and her dad were both born in LA?
That's completely insane.
My mind is blown.
Where are you from?
I'm from Waltham, Massachusetts.
You've never heard of it.
It's a suburb of Boston.
But I seriously know more people
from Waltham that live in LA right now
than people from Waltham
who still live in Waltham.
It's like everybody moved out here.
It's crazy.
Well, LA is a great town.
-No, it's not.
-Yeah, it is.
Maybe you just need to meet more people
that aren't from Waltham.
Yeah, maybe so.
You gonna introduce me
to some real Angelenos?
I know a bunch.
So what do you do?
I teach fifth grade.
Shut up, I love you.
Tell me everything.
I wanna know all about it.
I don't know, fifth grade is…
You know, it's ten and 11-year-olds.
So they're basically grown-ups.
I mean, they're not,
but they're not that different.
Or maybe it's that, you know,
most grown-ups aren't that different
from ten and 11-year-olds.
That's amazing.
You know, it's…
I mean, those kids,
they're like the future, right?
They are a part of it.
Yeah.
I mean,
I think what you're doing is fantastic.
Thanks.
Listen, would you wanna--
Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-All right. Yeah? Okay.
-Yeah.
Great.
Hi, baby. Hi.
Come here, buddy. I missed you.
This is Liam.
Say, "Hi, Liam."
-Say hi.
-Hi, Liam.
Okay, you're gonna come in here
and go to your bed.
And I'll see you in a bit.
It's really a lovely place.
Thank you.
Music?
Here, I'll do it.
I want you.
-Okay, I wanna get a condom.
-Okay.
Take your pants off.
Hi, baby. Good boy.
Did you put it on?
Did you?
Not yet.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-Are you--
-It's fine. It's fine.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-This has never happened to me before.
-Sorry.
What's wrong with you?
-I don't know.
-Are you--
Is this, like, normal for you?
-Not really.
-Not really? So it is?
-Maybe I should go.
-No, no, no, no.
I wanna know
how often does this happen to you.
-I don't do this kind of thing that often.
-What kind of thing?
-Have sex with a woman that I just--
-We're not having any sex.
Okay, attempt to have sex
with a woman I just met.
-Then why'd you come home with me?
-I don't know.
I--
I thought I'd, like, try something new.
That's not an answer.
Look, I'm sorry. I'm really,
really sorry for everything. I can go.
I'd rather you just be honest with me.
Honestly,
I don't know.
I don't know why my dick
decided to stop working
when you wanted to have sex.
You're an attractive woman.
If I'm being really honest, I'm probably
gonna think about this some other time
and fantasize about
what it would've been like
if it had gone the way
that it's supposed to, but…
In real life, things don't go
the way they're supposed to.
At least they don't for me. So…
Look, it's not a big deal.
Right? It happens to a lot of guys.
And we don't have to have sex
the first night we meet, you know?
It's actually--
It's actually really sweet.
Right?
Wanna just hang out?
-No, I think I should just really go--
-You don't have to be embarrassed at all.
-I know. Thank you, but no, I--
-Just-- No, come here. Come sit down.
I'm gonna go.
It's my fault. I made a mistake.
So basically, if we're not fucking
there's no point in hanging out with me,
right?
-I didn't say that.
-Then what are you saying?
I just have to go.
'Cause I think what you're saying
is you like being a loser.
You know what, and by the way,
your breath is terrible.
It's 'cause I smoked
one of your cigarettes.
How do you think your breath is?
It's no fucking wonder I didn't stay hard.
Every time we kissed, I thought
I was gonna throw up in your mouth.
No, I bet I know why
you were impotent tonight.
-Because I make more money than you.
-That's it.
We came here in your piece of shit car
with your busted fender
-that you can't afford to fix.
-That happened today.
We had to come back to my apartment
because you live in some shit place.
-We came back for Liam.
-You can barely support yourself.
You wouldn't be able to support me
and a family.
-Now we're having a family?
-By the way, you know what,
your whole teacher thing
about how much you love kids?
I call bullshit.
The only people who become teachers
are people who wanted to do something else
and gave up.
Can I ask you something?
What?
When you were younger…
like not a young girl,
but just a younger woman,
did you always know
you were gonna die alone?
Hola, Josh.
Hey, Beatriz. Buenos días!
Buenos días! How's it going?
All right.
-How was your weekend?
-I can't complain, you know.
We're broke, but other than that,
grandbabies can feed themselves now,
so I get to sleep in.
-Nice.
-How about you?
Yeah.
-That good, huh?
-No. It was all right.
Everything is good.
-It is.
-Yes, it is.
-Have a good one.
-All right, you too.
All right, good morning. Happy Monday.
How was everyone's weekend?
-Hi.
-Hey, you okay?
Yeah. Yeah, just putting out fires.
-If you're busy, don't worry about it.
-No, I'm busy but it's fine.
Tell me. What's wrong?
Nothing. Everything is good.
I'm…
I have it really good. I just… You know.
Know what? It's what?
It just--
It doesn't always feel that way, I guess.
Well, I mean… whose fault is that?
-Thanks, Mom.
-I'm just saying.
You know what? Never mind.
No. Okay.
How was the rest of your weekend?
It was great. I met a woman, you know.
She seemed to really like me,
but I couldn't maintain an erection, so…
-I'm hanging up now.
-Okay.