Mr. Corman (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

Action Adventure

-Oh, God.
-Say it again!
Say it again, you child-ass little bitch!
I said say it again!
Prince Lyfe!
Yeah, that's what I thought.
-I know. Shit's cold, right?
-Phones in the bag.
Not in the pocket, in the bag. Thank you.
Okay, first of all, happy Halloween.
You guys, all of you who dressed up,
you look amazing.
Michelle, that's a great bloody princess.
And, Olivia, are you Chun-Li?
And, Ramon, that's an excellent chicken.
What are you, Mr. Corman?
I am Arrow from The Point!
It's a Harry Nilsson album.
You can look it up.
But, speaking of expressing ourselves,
today is also art class.
Now, you know
I wish we could do art every day.
But we have the very talented
Ms. Perry-Geller here for her weekly visit
and she's got a project planned
I think you're gonna like.
So, without any further ado,
Ms. Perry-Geller.
Thank you, Mr. Corman,
for that lovely introduction.
So today, since it's Halloween,
I thought we could make masks.
You guys know that the word "mask"
in Ancient Rome was "persona"?
Just like the word "person."
So every person has a persona.
You probably have a persona,
whether you realize it or not.
And what that means is,
we're all wearing masks.
Everyone say thank you
to Ms. Perry-Geller.
-Thank you, Ms. Perry-Geller.
-You're welcome, Ramon.
-That was great.
-Thank you.
Yeah. And your costume,
by the way, is really good.
Is it a sea creature
that ate too much plastic?
I thought I was, like, making a joke.
That's what it is?
-That is it.
-That's tragic.
Well, it is Día de los Muertos, so…
So you're dead too?
What do you think happens
to a sea creature
-when she eats a bunch of plastic?
I heard this crazy percentage
of life in the ocean is going extinct.
It is. But at least it makes
for a really good costume, right?
From dark times, comes great art,
as they say.
Do they say that?
I thought so. Maybe I made it up.
-Probably not.
-No, probably not.
But it is pretty dark times right now.
Yeah, it feels like that.
So, what are you again?
You said it's from an album?
Yeah, The Point!
What's The Point?
No, that's part of it.
No, but it's this storybook record.
It's about a place called
the Land of Point,
where everybody has
a point on top of their head
except for this one boy who doesn't
have a point, 'cause his head is round.
And it's not easy
being the only pointless person
in the whole Land of Point.
But he does have one friend,
his blue dog, Arrow. And that's me.
-You're the dog?
So where's your boy?
I don't know.
Well, it's a good costume. I like it.
Thank you. It's not as good as yours.
-Yours is great.
-Thank you.
Yeah, I just wish I had somewhere good
to show it off.
You're not gonna go out?
Maybe. I don't know. Are you?
-Yeah! It's Halloween.
It's my favorite holiday.
It's the only holiday I care about at all.
Wow. Bold statement.
Yeah. It's true though.
Well, if you wanna stay in touch,
I could, like,
let you know where I'm headed or…
Flying high up in the sky
I wonder why I have to have another
Point of view
Hey, man.
What's wrong?
They all out of good candy?
No, what do you mean?
-You bought candy corn on purpose?
-Yes, I did.
-You like candy corn?
-Yeah, I love it.
I'm sorry, is that okay with you?
No, it's just weird
'cause candy corn is obviously terrible.
-How did I not know this about you?
-Fuck if I know, bro.
Everything okay?
Yeah, I'm sorry, man. It's just
Vanessa has Gabi for the holiday,
so I'm a little…
That sucks.
Dude, that's not right.
She's your daughter. It's Halloween.
Yeah, it's nobody's fault though.
It's just how the schedule turned out.
She has her for Halloween
'cause I had her for Easter, so…
Yeah, but who cares about Easter?
I care about Easter.
-Then you can't really complain, can you?
What do you wanna do tonight?
Wanna play Call of Duty or something?
-Well, I'm gonna go out tonight.
-It's Halloween. I always go out.
-That's bullshit.
You never go out for Halloween.
You haven't in years.
No, I go out on Halloween every year.
I haven't gone out with you.
You've been doing your family thing.
I know what I've been doing,
thanks very much.
-What a dick thing to say. I just said…
-…that I was hurting for my daughter.
-I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
-All right.
Where you gonna go?
I'm actually gonna meet up
with that art teacher.
-No shit. For real? Wow.
-Yeah, right?
She came in today and I got her number.
Wow. Good for you, man.
Shit, where you gonna take her?
Still figuring that out. You want one?
No. I'm so full of candy corn.
What do you mean you're figuring it out?
Just waiting to hear back.
From her?
From who then?
From Dax.
-For fuck's sake. No.
No, I get it. So I can't hang out with you
because I don't have enough followers?
What are you talking about?
Who do you think you're talking to?
You never bring me out
when you hang out with him.
-I don't hang out with him, almost ever.
-You hung out with him last week.
-That was months ago.
-Bullshit. That was weeks ago.
But that was the first time
since I don't even know how long.
-Before I broke up with Megan.
She grew up with him.
I don't even like that guy.
-Then why are you hanging out with him?
-He goes out all the time.
He knows about that whole world.
I don't know that shit.
I'm tryna meet up with this girl.
I have to have somewhere to bring her.
Cool, yeah. Of course, man.
Have a great fucking time. All right?
Do you wanna come?
I mean, do you want me to come?
-I mean--
-Wow. Take longer to think about it.
-Fuck you. I don't wanna come.
-No, it's just a costume thing,
and my only hesitation is
I didn't know if you have a costume.
I have a fucking costume, bro.
You think Dax had to wait in this?
Thanks, man.
Let's do this.
I need a soda though.
I kinda have a weird taste in my mouth.
I'm gonna let the art teacher know
that we're here.
All right.
-You good?
All right.
Yo, dude. What the fuck, man?
-Oh, my God.
-You good?
All right.
Excuse us.
Sorry. Sorry.
What's she saying?
You gotta ride that bull
eight seconds to win.
All right. What's up, man?
Shit, man. Just fucking doing my job.
Showing the people a good time.
What are you, Sonic?
-No, it's Arrow.
-Yo, what's up, man? I'm Victor.
For sure, man. I'm Dax.
Yo, where's your lady friend?
She's coming.
Cool. That's cool, man.
Sorry, can I just borrow you for a second?
-Yeah. I'll be here.
Bro, I thought you said plus one female.
Yeah, she's coming.
Yeah, right.
But you brought dick and balls.
I know. I talked to him
after I already texted with you, and--
You just gotta understand
there's a guy-girl ratio.
The dude paying me,
he watches this kinda shit.
-You're fucking me here, man.
-Yeah, but we waited in line, so…
You know what? Fuck it.
That guy never really pays me anyway,
so he can just eat a dick.
-What's your friend's name again?
-Victor. Yo, big dog.
-Yeah? Sorry.
Listen, man,
I'm so happy you guys are here.
-If y'all need anything, just let me know.
All right, cool.
Yo, I follow you on Instagram, dude.
What? Seriously?
-Yo, thank you, sir.
Man, that means so much, dude.
How do you like the content?
Yeah, it's good.
Fuck yeah, man.
That's what I'm talking about.
'Cause I'm not gonna lie.
It's a big investment taking the time
and keeping engagement up.
But at this point, it's really
the only thing in town that matters.
-So, what's your handle?
-Yeah, man.
'Cause I can tell you're a good person,
and I like your utility belt.
So I'm gonna tag you
and get you some followers.
-Are you for real?
What do I look like, a fucking asshole?
Like I'd be lying to you right now?
-Give it to me.
-All right.
So it's "AnotherVictorMorales."
-Together. Yeah.
-Okay, all right. Yo.
It's been done a lot,
but it works if that's your name, so…
-That is my name, so…
-Word. Let's check you out, dog.
-Nah, you don't have to check me out.
-Shit, Victor. Yo, 443.
Dude, you're creeping up on half a K.
Yo, tonight we might fuck around
and get you to 500, bro.
-For real?
-Fuck yeah.
Look, I didn't say it was gonna be easy,
but you can definitely do it.
Hey, yo, Josh,
get your pointy-eared Papa Smurf,
-Blue Man Group-looking ass in--
-No, I'm good.
-You guys want a drink?
-A drink?
Oh, my God,
you're just so fucking thoughtful.
Megan should have never
broken up with your ass.
That's some cold-ass shit, dude.
-I didn't say shit.
-I'm playing, dude.
Come on, dog, it's me.
I'm just fucking with you.
Can I get a vodka soda?
-Please and thank you.
-I'll get a Coke.
-Yeah, great.
Thank you.
All right, you're a kitty-cat. So
let me guess, you're independent, right?
You're the type I could just
leave you alone with a bowl of milk
and you'd be cool?
Hey, bunny. What kind of bunny are you?
I don't know.
Halloween, it's the holiday where
women think they're hotter than they are.
-Hi. Can I--
can I get three more
Jamesons on the rocks?
I was actually here before you.
Sorry. That took forever.
All good. Your girl coming?
-Yeah, I just heard from her.
You know where Dax is? I got his drink.
-No idea, bro.
-That's great.
Should we go look for him?
-I guess so.
-All right. Right.
Okay. Okay. Intense. Intensity.
Dude, you're Sonic just like me, man.
Same costume.
-No, I'm Arrow.
-No, it's like looking in a mirror.
I'm going to make our country rich again.
Trump! Trump! Trump!
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Oh, my God.
Dream of Californication
-I fucking love that song!
-It is so good.
You know what's crazy?
-Ever since I turned 30,
it's so different
singing along to songs like that.
Like, when I was younger,
I'd be singing along, like,
"Yo, this is gonna fucking be me, man."
Anthony Kiedis is my teacher
and I'm his student
on some Obi-Wan Kenobi,
Luke Skywalker type shit.
And I'm, like, embodying
this motherfucker's soul as a performer.
Like, part of my training to take
my rightful place beside the Chili Peppers
and fucking Hov and Bowie, and just
the gods of show business.
But now I'm old and it didn't--
It could still--
Anything can fucking happen,
that's not the point.
The point is, okay, I just know
I'm not gonna be one of those icons,
'cause if I was gonna be one of those
then it would've happened already.
So now when I sing along, it's not, like,
part of my training.
It's not really going anywhere like that.
I'm just a fan.
But, dude, you ask any fucking musician,
since the beginning of time and space,
and they will tell you how much
they fucking love their fans, man.
Like from the heart, you know what I mean?
Do you feel me on that--
Like you-- In there. Know what I mean?
Like, not really. No.
No, I think you have to talk to Josh about
that type of shit, dude. My bad, yeah.
Fucking no thanks, bro.
-Oh, shit.
I'm up to 467, bro.
-What? Yo, motherfucker.
-Bro, what did I say, bro?
-All right.
-What did I say? Let me see this.
-All right.
Okay, but come here.
Look at this last post.
-Okay. You got four comments
and you haven't written back yet.
You gotta engage with the people
and make them feel like they're equal.
-You know what I mean? Yeah.
-Okay. All right, yeah.
Like, but what do I say, like,
right there?
You gotta find your own brand.
-Thanks a lot, dude.
-No, I didn't mean it like that.
-Like, okay, what do you do?
-I'm an on-road supervisor for UPS.
-Dope. Okay. No, that's good, man.
That's really good 'cause
it feels authentic.
And that's what people want,
is authenticity.
-Fuck yeah.
-If you ask a--
Oh, shit, I see that smile.
Yo, is that your lady?
-She coming or what?
-I think so.
-You think so?
Man, gimme that phone. I'll get
the bitch here in two texts or less.
-I'm all set, thanks.
-All right, killer, do your thing.
Look, I gotta handle some shit,
so I'll holler at you guys later?
All right, bro. Yep.
Cool guy. He's cool.
"Come on over."
You're fucking corny, bro.
Hey, you wanna get outta here?
Try to get some food?
Just text her again.
I did.
You did? When?
-What'd you say?
-I'm not telling.
All right.
Let's just go.
It seemed real, but I don't know.
-Fuck that bitch, man.
-No. Can we not do that?
If she's gonna be a dick about--
You don't need to start
saying mean things about her.
It's not helping,
so let's stop talking about it.
Oh, shit. Look who it is.
You wanna say hi?
Yep. I guess so.
Yo, yo!
-Damn, you guys still here?
Yo, I'm only at 471, man.
I didn't quite make it.
Nah, you just gotta keep engaging, bro.
You'll get there.
-You guys getting a ride home or…
I didn't drink, so…
Word. How'd the
rest of your night turn out, man?
Your girl never showed up, did she?
Fuck that bitch, man.
Thank you.
-You don't have to--
-Pedro! My friend!
Yo, thanks for looking out for me.
I appreciate it.
The DJ? Amazing.
Like, absolutely incredible.
If you get a chance,
you should check it out, yeah?
Keep it. Have a good time.
Y'all ready?
You know, that dude
has 1.6 million followers.
-How do you know?
-It's my job to know.
-What's he do?
-The same fucking thing I do.
-Does it a lot better than me, I guess.
-What do you do again?
This dude is everywhere, man.
Like, everybody's jocking him,
and he says he makes music.
-Yeah, okay.
-Exactly, bro. It's garbage.
Even he knows it's garbage.
He talks about it being garbage.
But I guess that's what people like.
I don't know. He works out a lot.
Bro, I work out a lot too,
but I do not look like this guy, man.
I guess he's got better genes.
Either that
or he's probably fucking juicing.
But then again,
quality juice gets expensive,
and that's, like, the weird thing.
You know, this dude's driving a Model X.
Even with 1.6, there's no way
you're pulling that kind of cash.
So honestly, he probably
just grew up rich, you know?
He never talks about mommy
and daddy, and he says he's self-made,
which is what fucking everybody
in the industry says.
And I'd say he bought his followers,
but he obviously didn't
'cause he's got the likes to back it up.
I don't know,
he's got a good fucking face.
-Like, it's annoying, dude.
-Yeah. But fuck that guy, man.
You think he's really happy? Actually?
Yo, I would be happy if I was him.
If I had that many people
giving me love every day.
Now, see, there's your mistake.
You can't care what other people think
'cause the vast majority of people:
-fucking idiots.
-And we're going dark. Okay.
-Not everyone is an idiot, bro.
-Not everyone, but pretty much everyone.
No one has any reasoning
behind what they think.
They don't like things
because they actually like it.
They just think they're supposed to.
It's what their friends and parents like.
You're just pissed
'cause some chick flaked on you.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Bro, look--
Whatever. I know it's cool
to be like, "Fuck the world,
I just don't give a fuck."
But you know what?
I do give a fuck,
and I'm not scared to say it, bro.
I want people to like me, man.
-It's just nobody does.
-Come on. That's not true.
Look, don't get me wrong. I'm surviving.
I'm doing my thing
or whatever the fuck, man.
But unless you're really killing it,
like, really snapping,
nobody cares about you.
I don't even have any real friends.
And, I mean, no offense, bro.
But I've known you longer
than anybody else I saw here tonight,
and I wouldn't consider us friends.
You don't care about me, man.
-That's not true.
-Yo, fuck you, man!
I know you're supposed to be
this really nice guy,
and everybody knows how nice you are.
But at least be a fucking man and admit
when somebody's telling you the truth.
You do not care about me, man!
You just call me when you wanna get laid.
All right, dude. Okay.
-Fucking asshole.
-All right. Hey, it's okay. Come on.
Fuck him. All right.
It's annoying.
-Say it again, motherfucker!
-Yo. Chill, dude.
-Say it again, huh?
-Chill. Chill.
You too pussy to say it again,
you fucking glittery-ass motherfucker?
You think I got time to be fucking
with little bitches like you, man?
-You some big man now?
-We're good. Dude--
-I'm bigger than you, little bitch-ass.
-This is stupid, you guys.
-Walk away, come on.
-Nah. Wait.
Now this little blue twink with the ears--
I'm not tryna deal with you.
-Chill out.
-Why don't you do something
-instead of talking like a little girl--
-Yeah? You wanna go--
Chill the fuck out, bro!
-Fuck, man!
Yo, me and my boys just fist-fucked
your whole face, son.
Like, "bow"!
Yo! Yo, come on!
Josh, what the fuck? Come on!
Yo, what the fuck?
Yo, what the fuck?
Oh, my God!
What the fuck was that?
Yo. Did you see that one dude, like--
Couldn't even get a hit in.
I was fucking him up!
-Yeah, you fucked him up!
-A hundred percent.
But did you see Vic
pick that other guy up?
-That was, like, crazy.
-You picked him up into the air!
I made that guy my bitch, dude.
But then you just put him back down.
-I know.
-So good.
Safety first, bro, you know?
-What about this guy though?
He got a few in.
I was like, "fucking damn."
Kinda weird to see.
I have never done that shit before
in my life.
Yeah. But that's how it goes.
-But that's how it goes, bro.
It's instinct, right? You see your homeys,
you back 'em up immediately, right?
Like when that fucking super Hulk dude,
he's like, "I'm going to kill you."
You fucking came outta nowhere
and you clotheslined the shit out of him.
-I saw that shit!
-Bro, where did that come from, dog?
-Honestly, I don't know.
-Bro, where?
-Somewhere deep.
-Let me know.
I need some of that too.
The guy was in shock, dude.
He was like,
"This fucking blue motherfucker--
This Blue Man Group guy
just fucked me up."
-It's not Blue Man Group. It's Arrow.
-I know! I know that.
He doesn't know that.
He was just like,
"Where the fuck did you come from?"
-Did you see?
I'm just hearing about it right now.
We were just with him. Like--
-We dropped him off, like, five hours ago.
-I don't know. Yeah.
-He was fine.
-He was fine.
He was cracking jokes and shit.
-He was fine, right?
-Oh, shit.
I broke 500.
Previous EpisodeNext Episode