Mr Inbetween (2018) s02e01 Episode Script

Shoulda Tapped

- Good work, bro.
- Cool, man.
- Good sesh, man.
- All right.
I'll catch you at your next fight.
Hey, Ray.
Yeah, man? Hey, um, you want to help me out with the kids? - Yeah.
All right.
- Appreciate it, man.
- Which ones? - Just take that group.
- I've got these guys.
- Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Let's do it.
RAY: All right, so what we'll do is, we're just gonna do some light sparring, uh Don't try to knock each other over, right? So, you guys go together.
- Yeah.
- All right? And just keep it nice and friendly, and we'll do a bit of this, do a bit of that.
All right.
Let's see what you got.
All right.
All right, I'm gonna throw a few.
- You ready? - Yeah.
Ooh, okay.
There you go.
- Pretty good, pretty good.
- Thanks.
So, how long you been doing this for? - About a month.
- Is that all? I used to do jiujitsu for a couple of years - before this, though.
- Oh, okay.
Well, do you want to see if you can get a takedown? - Sure.
- Cool.
Well Huh? [GRUNTS.]
You okay, old man? Yep.
Should've tapped.
No shit.
JOHN: All right, let's go.
Back to work, guys.
Back to the gym, back to the ring.
Let's do it.
Feel my leg.
- Why? - Just feel it.
- Hmm? - They feel fat.
- Do you think they feel fat? - Not really.
- Not really? - Mm.
Why didn't you say "no"? 'Cause when you say "not really," it kind of sounds like they are fat.
: Three million dollars! Do I hear [CHUCKLES.]
Don't get shitty.
Do I hear 125? - 126? - Don't get shitty.
I'm not shitty.
Are you all right? [RAY PASSES GAS.]
Do you mind not farting in my face? I didn't fart in your face.
Yeah, come on, don't.
It's disgusting.
You should be happy I fart in front of you.
Why should I be happy? Well, I only fart in front of people I'm comfortable with.
Just 'cause you feel comfortable doing something doesn't mean that you should do it.
So, if I if I felt comfortable taking a shit on your chest, does it mean I should do it? [OVER TV.]
: Oh! Ah, sold Do you want to take a shit on my chest? - Maybe.
- Yeah? Well? Go for it.
Don't tempt me, pal.
I'm daring you.
All right.
Huh? - [GRUNTING.]
: I'll do it.
- Do it.
Yeah, really? But you got to take your pants off first, 'cause you're just gonna end up shitting in your pants.
- Huh? You're an idiot.
- Where are you going? - I got to have a wee.
RAY: You weed half an hour ago.
Thanks for keeping score.
: So, what's your name, sir? - CONTESTANT: Kevin.
I haven't peed for hours.
ALLY: Good for you.
It's not a competition.
Yeah, it is.
All right.
Give us a kiss.
I don't want to go to school today.
Why not? - What's going on? - Nothing.
If there's something going wrong, you can tell me.
Come on.
What's wrong? There's a girl at school, and she's mean to me all the time.
What's she doing? She calls me names and stuff.
Have you told your teacher about it? No.
Do you want me to talk to her about it? No, I'll tell her.
Well, yeah, if you have any problems, darling, you just talk to your teacher, 'cause that's what she's there for, okay? - Okay.
- Uh-huh.
Love you.
Love you.
RAY: Have a good day.
VINCE: So, my girlfriend wanted to go out with her friends, like, have a girls' night out, go clubbing, and, um Well, I don't really like her going out without me.
So, yeah, we just started fighting about it.
And why don't you like her going out without you? Oh, well I just don't.
Do you not trust her? I mean, has she ever has she ever cheated on you? No.
No, no.
It's nothing like that.
I mean, not that I know of.
I guess the thing is, like Well, yeah.
Yeah, actually, I guess I don't trust her.
And why do you think that is? VINCE: Well, she's, like, like, really fucking sexy, you know.
Like when she goes out, she wears these tiny little fucking outfits, and, you know, they don't leave a whole lot to the imagination, so Here, look.
I'll show you.
- This is her.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- She's a fucking stunner, man.
- Yeah.
Let's have a look.
Oh, holy shit, mate.
If my missus looked like that, I'd never let her leave the house.
- Okay.
Thank-thank you, Carlo.
VINCE: So, when me and her go out together, guys will just come up and start hitting on her while I'm standing there.
You know, like, that's, like the last guy I bashed was because of that.
Uh, this fucking bloke just comes up and starts hitting on her right in front of me, you know? - And she loves the attention, so - Right, so RAY: Can I ask you something? VINCE: Yeah.
How many blokes has she slept with? - Ray - VINCE: It's all right.
Like, 30, 40.
No wonder you don't trust her, man.
I mean, shit, if she's slept with that many blokes, what's to stop her from sleeping with a few more? - You know what I mean? - Exactly.
- Ray, that's enough.
- RAY: I mean, you know, she goes there, she gets drunk.
Before you know it, - she's fucking somebody else.
- PETER: Ray.
How about you keep your misogyny to yourself? - My what? - Your misogyny.
- What's that? - Um A-According to the dictionary, a misogynist is a person who despises women.
I don't despise women.
Well, from what I'm hearing here, it sounds like you don't think very highly of them.
I got a girlfriend.
I got a daughter.
Hey, what are you saying? Like, I hate 'em or something, or ? Plenty of history's great misogynists have had daughters and girlfriends, Ray.
Like who? Like plenty.
Name one.
I think we should, um, move on.
Uh Hugo.
HUGO: I managed to drive to work today without incident.
PETER: That's terrific.
RAY: Britt? What are you doing? You gonna come have some tea or what? What you doing? What's the matter? Who put that up there? - Who did that? - BRITTANY: Taylor.
- [SIGHS.]
Dad, why does she hate me so much? Look, not everybody is gonna like you, darling.
- Okay? - Okay.
And you can't make people like you, okay? But you can make them fear you.
I don't want people to be scared of me.
Well, I'm not saying that, you know, you should make everybody scared of you.
But, um, if people don't respect you, that's when you make 'em fear you.
So, if people respect me, I don't need to scare them? Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
But if people see, if people don't respect you, and you still treat them with respect, then you're a doormat, if you understand what I mean.
- What does that mean? - Well, you know, like a doormat.
A doormat is a person who lets other people walk all over 'em.
- Okay? - Okay.
And that's not the kind of person you want to be.
- Okay? - Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna take care of this problem for you, okay? - Okay.
- This Taylor Look at me, darling.
Look at me.
She's not gonna bother you again, okay? All right? I promise you.
- Okay? - Okay.
Now, you want to come have some tea? What are we having? - Pizza.
- Johan's? Mm-hmm.
With the bacon? Of course.
- Okay.
Excuse me, guys.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Sorry, guys.
- Is that another goal? - Yeah.
What's up with all the fucking hand passing, man? It's like a game of hot potato.
These blokes need to harden up.
Every time they get the ball, they shit themselves.
- Mm.
GARY: Oh, shit.
Mate, I need a favor.
- What? - I need you to come around my place and put a password on my computer.
Why? 'Cause I'm watching too much fucking porn, man.
Every day, I'm jerking off.
Twice a day sometimes.
Fucking serious.
Why don't you pick the password? 'Cause if I know the password, I'll just unblock it.
Well, if you ask me, I'm not gonna tell you.
I know.
That's the whole point of it.
That's it.
Just score another goal.
Get on to it! - Well, don't get shitty.
- I won't.
You will.
You'll get shitty.
If I don't tell you what the password is, you'll get shitty.
- No, I won't.
- Yes, you will.
Yeah, all right.
Maybe I will, but no matter what, just don't tell me, all right? - And save my marriage, for God's sake.
What's up? [CROWD CHEERING.]
Have you got an address? [KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
MAN: Who's there? Freddy sent me over.
Freddy sent you? Yep.
- MAN 2: Who is it, man? - MAN 1: I don't fucking know.
Why? You want to let me in, mate, or what? - MAN 2: What's he want? - I don't know.
After you.
H-How you doing? Hey, good, man.
How you doing? - Good.
- Excellent.
So, Freddy's been trying to call you.
Ah, yeah.
No I mean, we've run out of credit, eh.
Sorry, man.
So, you're supposed to do a job for him or something? Oh.
Yeah, yeah, job-job's done.
- D-Do you want to see? - MAN 2: Ah, yeah.
- Yeah? Yeah, come - Yeah, come through.
Just come this way, then.
So, uh, we were gonna dump him in the hills, but it got light, like, the sun came up, so we brought him back here.
But as soon as it gets dark, we're gonna go get rid of him.
How hot's the car? - What do you mean? - Well, when did you steal it? Oh, it's my car.
It's our car.
It's our car.
: What do you think you're doing? What? You're using these idiots to do hits now? No, mate.
I just thought I would give them a go and see how they went.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll tell you how they went, mate.
They've grabbed this guy, they've killed him whoever he was and now they've got him in the boot of their car in their garage because they didn't feel like getting rid of the body just yet.
Yeah, all right, settle settle down, will you, mate? Don't fucking tell me to settle down.
- He hung up on me.
- Aw.
Yello? Funny.
Look, I'm sorry, mate, okay? I-I didn't think you'd mind me using them on this one.
I mean, they charge a quarter what you do.
All right? And, I mean, I'm having a bad week this week.
Mate, you've been having a bad week for the last 20 years.
- Yeah, I know.
I know.
- Well, do something about it.
- Well, like what? - I don't know.
Not my problem.
- So, what do you want to do? - I don't know.
You tell me.
I can't read it from here.
What do you think? Well, they're drug-fucked, mate.
If they get pinched, they're gonna roll on you.
Yeah, okay, well, dig a hole, put the dead guy in, and, uh and put the other two in with him.
All right.
How much is this gonna cost me? 90?! Yeah.
30 each, mate.
I'd charge anybody else 40 each.
Okay, and I appreciate that, but, look, it's not like you got to do a lot of work here.
You know? I mean, one of them's dead already.
Yeah, but I still got to bury him.
Sure, but you're charging me like you got to kill him.
All right.
Ten to get rid of the dead guy, 30 each for the other two.
- 70.
- Okay, and I appreciate the discount there, mate, but-but the other two guys I mean, you know, it's not like you got to dig three holes, you know.
Y-You're only gonna put 'em all in the one hole, so Yeah, but I got to dig a much bigger hole.
Well, get them to dig it.
Why don't you come down here, yeah, and you can dig it? I'm not gonna Why would I Fucking slimy little prick.
Hung up on me again.
- Hello? - 60.
65, take it or leave it.
I don't want to wait six months for my money, either.
Yeah, I know.
You'll-you'll have the money next week.
You know the thing that shits me about you? There's only one thing? You haggle over every cent you got to pay me, right? And then you get into the casino, you blow 100 grand - like it's nothing.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah, you know.
All right.
I'm gonna get a car.
Oh, just use ours, mate.
Can't use yours.
- Why not? Why not? - [DOOR OPENS.]
- I don't know, man.
- Lift him up.
- I am, man.
RICK: Got him? - Ooh! - RICK: You fucking idiot.
WAZ: Shut up, man.
You want to take the head?! [RICK GRUNTS.]
- WAZ: Ah, man.
This stinks.
- Fuck.
WAZ: How do you get on with the ex? RAY: Oh, not too bad.
She's remarried, but [CLEARS THROAT.]
yeah, we get on.
I've got a I-I got a daughter.
- Eh? - Yeah.
How old is she? She's, um - she's six, eh.
- Mm.
- Beautiful.
- Yeah.
- She gets that-that from her mum, eh? - Mm.
You see her? WAZ: Nah.
Not-not anymore, really.
How come? Uh, the ex won't let me, man.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
That's cool, man.
Like I know I'm a fuck-up.
Just need to get off the drugs, man.
WAZ: Yeah.
Tell me about it, bro.
I tell you, man, these these last 24 hours, I just I'm not cut out for this shit.
I This is not me.
No offense, eh.
Eh, it's not for everybody, mate, so So are you, like, you from Sydney originally, or Nah.
Country boy.
What brought you up here? You know, work, mainly, but, uh Eh, I wouldn't mind getting back to the back to the country one day, but I got my daughter here - and me brother, so - Oh.
- I got a bro as well, man.
- Mm.
- He's, uh, he's back in Perth.
- Yeah.
He's a fucking muso, man.
He's killing it, eh, like You heard of the band More or Less? - No.
- Yeah.
We started it together, man, - like, me and him.
- Mm.
We used to write songs together and shit.
Fucking, like, playing gigs.
Fucking Do-do you, like, play any musical instruments? Nah.
Tried to learn how to play the drums - when I was a kid, but - [CHUCKLES.]
That's what I am, eh.
Yeah, I'm a drummer.
- Yeah? - Yeah, man.
Yeah, I-I'll fucking teach you.
Well, I don't have a drum kit, so Yeah.
I-I don't either, man.
But if you buy one, then I'll-I'll teach you how - I wouldn't charge.
- Mm.
It'd just be We'd have, like, fucking drum sessions.
No less than the trees and the stars You have a right to be here And whether or not It is clear to you - No doubt - Put it out.
- Fuck off.
- The universe is unfolding RICK: Shit! - Sorry about that.
- Fucking motherfucker.
All right, good one, buddy.
RICK: Yeah, well, what are you gonna do about it? - Put the fucking gun away.
- Yeah, shut the fuck up.
- Rick! - Go on, what'd you say? - Just chill out, man.
- No, shut the fuck up! I'm the fucking boss here, okay? WAZ: Okay, okay, chill! - No, you're not the boss of me, okay? - Rick, okay What the fuck?! For the world is full of trickery But let this not blind you To what virtue there is Many persons strive for high ideals And everywhere life is full of heroism Be yourself Especially do not feign affection Neither be cynical about love [GASPING.]
Take kindly the council of the years Gracefully surrendering the things of youth Nurture strength of spirit To shield you in sudden misfortune But do not distress yourself with imaginings Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness Beyond a wholesome discipline Be gentle with yourself - You are a child - You are a child - Of the universe - Of the universe No less than the trees and the stars You have a right [COUGHS.]
- It is clear to you - It is clear to you No doubt the universe is unfolding No doubt the universe - Is unfolding - As it should As it should Therefore, be at peace with God Whatever you conceive him to be And whatever your labors and aspirations In the noisy confusion of life Keep peace with your soul With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams It is still a beautiful world Be careful Strive to be happy You are a child Of the universe No less than the trees and the stars You have a right to be here You are a child Of the universe No less than the trees and the stars You have a right to be here You are a child Of the universe No less than the trees and the stars You have a right