Mr. Mom (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

The List

Are you sure? Once this is done, there's no going back.
[DEEP BREATH.]
Let's do it.
[DEEP BREATH.]
I got it detailed for you.
Drive it with love.
Here's a detail for you.
The left turn signal doesn't work, so you gotta use your hand.
Good luck.
[CAR STARTING.]
Hey, do you guys know where the Oh.
Okay.
- - [BEEPING.]
Is this the check It's the [BEEPING.]
- - Uh, okay.
No, not in yet.
- [RILEY.]
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
No.
- Oh, Riley! - [TUTTING.]
- Oh, sorry.
Ja! Danke schoen.
Danke schoen.
Cheers! - Okay.
Hi! - Hi! Welcome! Thank you, thank you.
Wow, this place is amazing.
- It's so modern and techy.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Where is my office? - Oh, we hot-desk.
Oh, okay.
So, where do all the other creative executives sit? Oh, near the kitchen, but I'll introduce you over Slack.
Oh, okay.
What's Slack? [LAUGHING.]
- Good one.
That's funny.
- Thank you.
Nailed it.
Listen, Riley, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me in.
- No thanks needed.
Really.
- Wow.
Just do your thing and everything'll be okay.
But I need you to be the adult in the playground.
That I can do.
Just point me in the right direction.
- I already did.
- Oh.
- You're here.
- It's here.
We're here.
Okay.
This is it.
Oh, no.
Okay.
I'd love to stay and chat and everything, - but I am drowning in calls, so - Okay.
Just make yourself at home.
- Will do.
Thanks.
Thank you - Welcome! Thank you so Oh.
Mom left us a list.
Duh.
Duh, to you too.
We gotta prove to Mom that we can do this.
Let's see what's first.
"Feed kids breakfast.
" [SIGHS.]
Nailed it.
Thank you.
Now, I also have my own list inside my head.
It's called, "Set up Daddy's new company.
" What's that? Well, I'm glad you asked, Hannah.
Pizzamail! You can order a pizza from anywhere in the country and have it shipped directly to your house.
Guys, come on, it's fun.
It comes in like a dry ice box with smoke coming out.
- Like Halloween.
- Zack doesn't even like pizza.
Guys, come on! This is This is exciting.
We're on the ground floor of a start-up here.
Stock options.
Full benefits.
Hannah, how high can you count? Two hundred and eighteen.
Great.
You're the CFO.
Zack, what about you? We'll circle back.
Um, excuse me, is anybody Is anybody Sure.
Oop! Sorry.
Sorry about that.
Oop.
Okay, got it.
Got it.
Does anybody know the WiFi? Okay.
For a business to be productive, it needs an office space that's conducive to flow.
You ever seen Mom on that? She hangs her bras on it.
All right.
Hold my coffee.
Zack, stand back.
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Did we bolt this down? Zack, you probably can't help me with this.
[GRUNTING.]
Let's lighten the load here, right? Another way this machine gives you exercise is when you move it once every five years.
Dad, don't hurt yourself.
Don't you worry about Dad.
He knows how to move things.
[GRUNTING.]
Oh.
We're gonna have to try something else.
Oh, sorry.
I thought I emailed you yesterday about reserving the conference room.
- Me? - Wait, you're not in HR? No, I All right, people.
This is Megan.
A new hire to the creative team.
She's amazing.
Treat her like you would your mother.
Yeah, or a colleague.
Of course.
So, we all know what a big coup it was to land Graham And Abrams, right? We're playing with the big girls now.
I mean, we've been offered a seat on a rocket ship, so let's buckle up, and hope that that rocket ship is running on renewable energy.
- Less aggressive than clapping.
- Oh.
Spencer, Blythe, catch her up on the brand.
I don't have enough bandwidth, and of course, I have another call in ten minutes.
Okay, have fun, guys.
But not too much fun, because then I'll get FOMO.
So I'll do both of us a favor.
Okay.
You're caught up.
[CARTOONS PLAYING ON TV.]
[RINGING TONE.]
[CELLPHONE RINGING.]
Hey, it's Mommy.
[GREG.]
Hey, babe.
How's it going? Um, it's interesting.
Everyone's looking at me like I've shown up to audit them.
Do you know what "Slack" is? Or "hot desking"? You mean "crop dusting"? Anyway, I'm not spying on you, but I just looked in on the Nest camera and I saw that Zack wasn't in his bed and it's, it's nap time.
[MEGAN.]
You know how he can wander.
No, he's napping.
We're in the living room.
Okay, I'm just trying to help you maximize your free time.
If he's in his bed, he'll sleep.
Taking a big risk.
No, yeah, he's sleeping I'm looking right at him, his His eyes are closed, he's very tired.
Get back to work, Sugar Mama.
- Love you.
- Bye.
Thank you, nurse.
Now, can you do something about that little monster? This is "Zacky No Nap.
" That's what Mom calls it.
Yeah.
Zacky, no! Screws are bad for your teeth.
Dad, I'm bored.
We are almost done taking this thing apart.
Only 432 more screws to go.
You said that an hour ago.
Play with me.
I know, but if I give up now, we'll have nothing to show for today.
Do you really wanna go to bed with that on your conscience? Yes.
Yeah, me too.
I can live with that.
Popsicle time.
Let's go.
[MEGAN.]
I'm home! Oh, hi! There she is.
Oh, my.
Is that for your girlfriend? No, I broke up with her.
Traded up for a working woman.
How was it? It was amazing.
- Really? - No.
It was awful.
I felt like the principal in The Breakfast Club.
Well, listen, everyone has an adjustment period.
Yeah.
Whoo.
I can see that.
Interesting.
These piles over here.
I'm doing laundry in stages.
- That's stage one.
- Okay.
How did you hold up? I got zero work done on the office, but the kids are still alive.
Are they in bed? Item thirteen on the list.
Wow! I'm impressed you followed it.
Yeah.
I'm not a moron.
I made you some chicken.
You might want to heat it up, though.
Aw, honey, thank you so much.
But honestly, all I want to do is just tune out and watch Queen Bey.
[MEGAN.]
Did you record it? [GREG.]
What about those green beans though?