Mr Pickles (2013) s03e03 Episode Script
S.H.O.E.S
1 Sir, Astronaut Dolphin Detective has gone back in time to the '80s to kill you as a kid! - Aah! - N-o-o-o-o-o-o! [LAUGHS.]
Oh, shiiiii! Aah! [BARKS.]
S03E03 S.
H.
O.
E.
S Hm.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
Mmm! Ahh! Aah! Hey! Stop biting my shoes, you evil dog! - Huh? - Da-da-da-da-da-da - Huh.
- Da-da-da-da-da-da Whoa! This bill from the power company, they say I haven't paid it, but I did! They're charging a $3 late fee! Please, will you call them? No.
I've got a lot going on today.
Handle it.
Fine! Huh! Hmm.
[HUMMING.]
Mom, you look funny! [LAUGHS.]
I'm doing aerobics, Tommy.
Oh! Down, boy.
Can I do "aerob-tics" with you? Uh, no.
Go find a friend to play with.
Hmm.
Where, oh, where can I find a friend? [BARKS.]
A friend! Friend, friend, friend! [LAUGHS.]
Where can I find a friend? [LAUGHTER.]
Hey, quit hogging the ball.
I want to put it in! Not before I shoot it all over your face! Hi! Can I play with you guys? No.
You have leg braces.
[LAUGHTER.]
Huh? [GROWLS.]
Yeah, loser! Oh! Aah! Aaaah! [GRUNTS.]
Aw, no! My leg braces "breaked.
" ROBOT VOICE: Identify yourself! Huh? Who said that? I repeat, identify yourself.
I'm Tommy.
Target identified.
Who are you?! I am S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
, which stands for Secret Hyper Operational Exoskeleton System.
What does "Tommy" stand for? Nothing.
I can't stand.
Whoa! See, I was looking for a friend but - [BARKS.]
- What is "friend"? Oh.
A friend is somebody you do things with.
- [WHIMPERS.]
- Could I be friend? Whee! Whoa! That's so fast! - Whoa! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Ha! - Amazing! - Amazing! You ain't seen nothing yet! Ha! Who-o-o-o-o-o-a! Ow! [LAUGHTER.]
TOGETHER: You suck! But those shoes are awesome! - Huh? - Grab him! - Yeah, let's tug 'em off! - [BARKS.]
Aah! No! Target identified! TOGETHER: Cool! Destroy target.
No! Come on, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
Let's get out of here.
Affirmative.
Getting out of here.
Whoa! Hey! Come back with those shoes! Sir, I've got eyes on S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
No, I am not paying a $3 late fee.
Dad, meet my friend S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
Well, I'd like to see you try and take $3 from me, buddy.
Hand it over! What? No.
You'll never get it from me.
- [GRUNTING.]
- Oh, I see.
Well, I better go get my gun, and we'll settle this like men.
Tommy, they found me.
It's over.
Listen, kid.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
was designed for the military, but some pairs began developing a mind of their own and learned how to tie their own laces.
We need to destroy S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
before someone gets hurt! But he's my friend! No! He's a cold-blooded killing machine! Yep.
He's evil all right.
- Huh? - Oh, no! They got away! What? No! Damn it! He has an underground lair with prisoners and a river of blood.
Hmm.
This is worse than we thought.
Move out.
We're gonna have to get more creative to get him away from the kid.
What's all this commotion? Looks like I'm not the only one that knows Mr.
Pickles is evil.
Ugh.
Never mind.
Now, I got two BBs that says you won't take $3 from me! You cowards! Get out of here! Whoa! S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
, we need to find a safe place.
- Okay.
In here.
- Huh? Aah! Tommy, I'm in the bath! Aaaaaaaah! [WHIMPERS.]
- Hold on, Tommy.
- Oh! Whoa! Ooh, ooh! Oh! Not now, Tommy! I'm in the middle of something! - [HOOTS.]
- Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! [WHIMPERS.]
Oh! Here's A Safe Place.
- Huh? - Hi.
- Cut! - Huh? What are you doing on set? Are we safe? [GASPS.]
Say that again.
Are we safe? You're Safe all right! The role of Johnny Safe will now be played by these shoes.
[GASPING.]
What?! [GROANS.]
Uh-huh! Tony Safe was a major-league umpire Then his wife died in a major-league fire He can call a strike, he can call a ball He's got five kids, can he raise them all? When it feels like you're all alone Always know there's a place called home 'Cause ho-o-o-me's a safe place Safe! [CANNED APPLAUSE.]
Hey, Dad, can I borrow the car tonight? I have a date with Denise DeCarlo.
She is one hot babe.
Va-va-va-va-voom! [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Hold it, lover boy.
Did you make the team? - Uh - He made the team all right the chess team.
[LAUGHS.]
Chess? You want the car, make the baseball team.
Maybe then you'll get to first base with Denise DeCarlo.
[LAUGHS.]
But I don't like baseball.
Well, as long as you're in my house, you live by my rules, or you're ALL: Outta here! Aw, I wish you died in the fire and not Mom.
[BARKS.]
[AUDIENCE "AWW" S.]
- Cut! - Huh? Oh! Go away, boy.
I'm acting with my friend! [WHIMPERS.]
Great work, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! The network wants to make you the star.
Star? Yeah, but one thing you got to ditch the kid.
Uh S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? Sorry, Tommy.
You're dragging me down.
Detaching.
I'm going to be a star! Ha! Wha We've got S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Move out, move out! Let's get ALL: Outta here! [LAUGHS.]
Stupid kid! [LAUGHS.]
Wait! No! Aah! [MEOWS.]
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! [LAUGHTER.]
Hey, look! It's that stupid kid's dog! Loser! [GROWLS.]
TOMMY: S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Where are you, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? Aah! Oh, no! Aaaaaaaah! [YELPS, WHIMPERS.]
- Ha! - Don't dismantle me! [LAUGHS.]
WOMAN: All personnel to the stock room.
We've got a new shipment of S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? - Tommy? - What did they do to you?! I didn't expect to see you again, not after I was such a bad friend.
But friends never give up on each other.
- Oh.
- So you and your friend thought you could outsmart us, huh, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? - Whoa! - Well, I'm gonna cut off your tongue and rip out your soul! - No! Aaah! - [LAUGHS.]
No! Stop killing S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Fine! I'll let them do it.
- Huh? - Meet New S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! - New S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! - Now with orthopedic inserts, and they can fly! [LAUGHS.]
- Target identified! Mr.
Pickles! Normally, he comes when I call, but [GASPS.]
I ignored him, and now he's not coming.
Hey! No dogs allow-Ow! Aah! Hey! Get that dog! Aah! [GRUNTING.]
Yay! Mr.
Pickles! - Huh? - Help! Those S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
are gonna kill S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! - [GROWLS.]
- Target identified.
Destroy target.
Ouch! Aah! Ow! Destroy! Aah! Get him! Affirmative.
Hey! Whoa! [LAUGHS.]
Finish him! Mr.
Pickles, even though you aren't much of a hero, I want you to know that you're my best friend.
I thought I was your friend.
You are, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
You can have more than one friend.
So we can all be friends? - Hi.
I am S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
- I am S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
, too.
- Nice to meet you.
- S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
here.
- Hi.
My name is Bill.
- Aw, kid! You ruined everything! Die! Nooooooo! [GROANS.]
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Goodbye, friend.
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! ALL: N-o-o-o-o-o-o! N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! Whoa! Whee! Hey, look down there! Hi, Bigfoot! [LAUGHS.]
Whee! [LAUGHTER.]
Huh? Whee! - Run! - Run! [LAUGHS.]
Get 'em! [SCREAMING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
[SCREAMING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Yeah! BEVERLY: "And so they went on to many other adventures and explored many other things with each other, but that is a different story.
The end.
" What are you doing now? Writing a romance novel.
[GIGGLES.]
Did you take care of the power bill, Stanley? I handled it, woman.
So manly.
- Come to bed.
- What? I want to work out an idea with you.
Oh, mama! It's been a while! Ho-ho! Ew! Huh? You said he had an underground lair.
Huh? Can you show me where it is? [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
BEVERLY: Stanley! STANLEY: Aw! Heck! The underground lair is in here, but be careful of the Huh?! "Mr.
Pickles"? Yeah, the evil dog.
Evil dog?! What, are you crazy?! I'm talking about evil shoes! Huh? Aah! Eh.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
Oh, shiiiii! Aah! [BARKS.]
S03E03 S.
H.
O.
E.
S Hm.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
Mmm! Ahh! Aah! Hey! Stop biting my shoes, you evil dog! - Huh? - Da-da-da-da-da-da - Huh.
- Da-da-da-da-da-da Whoa! This bill from the power company, they say I haven't paid it, but I did! They're charging a $3 late fee! Please, will you call them? No.
I've got a lot going on today.
Handle it.
Fine! Huh! Hmm.
[HUMMING.]
Mom, you look funny! [LAUGHS.]
I'm doing aerobics, Tommy.
Oh! Down, boy.
Can I do "aerob-tics" with you? Uh, no.
Go find a friend to play with.
Hmm.
Where, oh, where can I find a friend? [BARKS.]
A friend! Friend, friend, friend! [LAUGHS.]
Where can I find a friend? [LAUGHTER.]
Hey, quit hogging the ball.
I want to put it in! Not before I shoot it all over your face! Hi! Can I play with you guys? No.
You have leg braces.
[LAUGHTER.]
Huh? [GROWLS.]
Yeah, loser! Oh! Aah! Aaaah! [GRUNTS.]
Aw, no! My leg braces "breaked.
" ROBOT VOICE: Identify yourself! Huh? Who said that? I repeat, identify yourself.
I'm Tommy.
Target identified.
Who are you?! I am S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
, which stands for Secret Hyper Operational Exoskeleton System.
What does "Tommy" stand for? Nothing.
I can't stand.
Whoa! See, I was looking for a friend but - [BARKS.]
- What is "friend"? Oh.
A friend is somebody you do things with.
- [WHIMPERS.]
- Could I be friend? Whee! Whoa! That's so fast! - Whoa! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Ha! - Amazing! - Amazing! You ain't seen nothing yet! Ha! Who-o-o-o-o-o-a! Ow! [LAUGHTER.]
TOGETHER: You suck! But those shoes are awesome! - Huh? - Grab him! - Yeah, let's tug 'em off! - [BARKS.]
Aah! No! Target identified! TOGETHER: Cool! Destroy target.
No! Come on, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
Let's get out of here.
Affirmative.
Getting out of here.
Whoa! Hey! Come back with those shoes! Sir, I've got eyes on S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
No, I am not paying a $3 late fee.
Dad, meet my friend S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
Well, I'd like to see you try and take $3 from me, buddy.
Hand it over! What? No.
You'll never get it from me.
- [GRUNTING.]
- Oh, I see.
Well, I better go get my gun, and we'll settle this like men.
Tommy, they found me.
It's over.
Listen, kid.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
was designed for the military, but some pairs began developing a mind of their own and learned how to tie their own laces.
We need to destroy S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
before someone gets hurt! But he's my friend! No! He's a cold-blooded killing machine! Yep.
He's evil all right.
- Huh? - Oh, no! They got away! What? No! Damn it! He has an underground lair with prisoners and a river of blood.
Hmm.
This is worse than we thought.
Move out.
We're gonna have to get more creative to get him away from the kid.
What's all this commotion? Looks like I'm not the only one that knows Mr.
Pickles is evil.
Ugh.
Never mind.
Now, I got two BBs that says you won't take $3 from me! You cowards! Get out of here! Whoa! S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
, we need to find a safe place.
- Okay.
In here.
- Huh? Aah! Tommy, I'm in the bath! Aaaaaaaah! [WHIMPERS.]
- Hold on, Tommy.
- Oh! Whoa! Ooh, ooh! Oh! Not now, Tommy! I'm in the middle of something! - [HOOTS.]
- Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! [WHIMPERS.]
Oh! Here's A Safe Place.
- Huh? - Hi.
- Cut! - Huh? What are you doing on set? Are we safe? [GASPS.]
Say that again.
Are we safe? You're Safe all right! The role of Johnny Safe will now be played by these shoes.
[GASPING.]
What?! [GROANS.]
Uh-huh! Tony Safe was a major-league umpire Then his wife died in a major-league fire He can call a strike, he can call a ball He's got five kids, can he raise them all? When it feels like you're all alone Always know there's a place called home 'Cause ho-o-o-me's a safe place Safe! [CANNED APPLAUSE.]
Hey, Dad, can I borrow the car tonight? I have a date with Denise DeCarlo.
She is one hot babe.
Va-va-va-va-voom! [CANNED LAUGHTER.]
Hold it, lover boy.
Did you make the team? - Uh - He made the team all right the chess team.
[LAUGHS.]
Chess? You want the car, make the baseball team.
Maybe then you'll get to first base with Denise DeCarlo.
[LAUGHS.]
But I don't like baseball.
Well, as long as you're in my house, you live by my rules, or you're ALL: Outta here! Aw, I wish you died in the fire and not Mom.
[BARKS.]
[AUDIENCE "AWW" S.]
- Cut! - Huh? Oh! Go away, boy.
I'm acting with my friend! [WHIMPERS.]
Great work, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! The network wants to make you the star.
Star? Yeah, but one thing you got to ditch the kid.
Uh S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? Sorry, Tommy.
You're dragging me down.
Detaching.
I'm going to be a star! Ha! Wha We've got S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Move out, move out! Let's get ALL: Outta here! [LAUGHS.]
Stupid kid! [LAUGHS.]
Wait! No! Aah! [MEOWS.]
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! [LAUGHTER.]
Hey, look! It's that stupid kid's dog! Loser! [GROWLS.]
TOMMY: S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Where are you, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? Aah! Oh, no! Aaaaaaaah! [YELPS, WHIMPERS.]
- Ha! - Don't dismantle me! [LAUGHS.]
WOMAN: All personnel to the stock room.
We've got a new shipment of S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? - Tommy? - What did they do to you?! I didn't expect to see you again, not after I was such a bad friend.
But friends never give up on each other.
- Oh.
- So you and your friend thought you could outsmart us, huh, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
? - Whoa! - Well, I'm gonna cut off your tongue and rip out your soul! - No! Aaah! - [LAUGHS.]
No! Stop killing S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Fine! I'll let them do it.
- Huh? - Meet New S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! - New S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! - Now with orthopedic inserts, and they can fly! [LAUGHS.]
- Target identified! Mr.
Pickles! Normally, he comes when I call, but [GASPS.]
I ignored him, and now he's not coming.
Hey! No dogs allow-Ow! Aah! Hey! Get that dog! Aah! [GRUNTING.]
Yay! Mr.
Pickles! - Huh? - Help! Those S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
are gonna kill S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! - [GROWLS.]
- Target identified.
Destroy target.
Ouch! Aah! Ow! Destroy! Aah! Get him! Affirmative.
Hey! Whoa! [LAUGHS.]
Finish him! Mr.
Pickles, even though you aren't much of a hero, I want you to know that you're my best friend.
I thought I was your friend.
You are, S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
You can have more than one friend.
So we can all be friends? - Hi.
I am S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
- I am S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
, too.
- Nice to meet you.
- S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
here.
- Hi.
My name is Bill.
- Aw, kid! You ruined everything! Die! Nooooooo! [GROANS.]
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
! Goodbye, friend.
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! ALL: N-o-o-o-o-o-o! N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! Whoa! Whee! Hey, look down there! Hi, Bigfoot! [LAUGHS.]
Whee! [LAUGHTER.]
Huh? Whee! - Run! - Run! [LAUGHS.]
Get 'em! [SCREAMING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
[SCREAMING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Yeah! BEVERLY: "And so they went on to many other adventures and explored many other things with each other, but that is a different story.
The end.
" What are you doing now? Writing a romance novel.
[GIGGLES.]
Did you take care of the power bill, Stanley? I handled it, woman.
So manly.
- Come to bed.
- What? I want to work out an idea with you.
Oh, mama! It's been a while! Ho-ho! Ew! Huh? You said he had an underground lair.
Huh? Can you show me where it is? [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
BEVERLY: Stanley! STANLEY: Aw! Heck! The underground lair is in here, but be careful of the Huh?! "Mr.
Pickles"? Yeah, the evil dog.
Evil dog?! What, are you crazy?! I'm talking about evil shoes! Huh? Aah! Eh.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.
S.
H.
O.
E.
S.