Mr Pickles (2013) s03e06 Episode Script
Tommy Goes to School
1 [UPTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING.]
Murderer! There's a murderer right there.
Freeze, murderer.
Oh, that's just Garcia.
But he's a murderer.
He has "murder" tattooed on his face.
Oh, he's no murderer.
In fact, he's my buddy.
Right, Garcia? What's up dude? - Yeah.
- I got to go, Sheriff.
All right.
I'll see you at lunch later.
Hmm, looks like Garcia is a - Rat! - Huh? Get it off of me.
Get it off of me.
Ow! Have a good day, now.
Pickles Good Boy He's dog People's best friend Die Pickles Mr.
Pickles.
Here he comes There you are.
Good boy.
S03E06 Tommy Goes to School Hmm.
The school got a new flag.
Um, what is school? Uh-oh.
The school year started 6 months ago.
Why hasn't Tommy been in school this whole time? Who are you again? I'm Principal Garcia, and this is my schoooool! Uh, we just had a lot going on.
Bye, Tommy.
Come on, Mr.
Pickles.
Unh-unh-unh.
No dogs allowed.
Dinosaurs lived either or 4,000 or 65 million years ago.
Both theories are equally valid.
Children! This is Tommy.
He doesn't know anybody, so I know those bullies.
Hi, bullies! - Shut up, Pumpkin Head.
- Yeah Pumpkin.
Knock it off.
And remember, tonight is the 1st grade dance.
So, find that special someone, or live a life of despair.
Oh! That's Suzie, the girl I like.
I'll go to the dance with Suzie.
Tommy? I'll decide who I dance with.
You've got a lot to learn, Tommy like how dinosaurs did exist and didn't.
Both theories are equally valid.
She'll never go to the dance with you, Tommy.
- Why not? - 'Cause you're a nobody.
Huh? [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- See, you're a nobody, like us - Hi.
The bottom of the social pyramid.
Suzie's a regular kid, right in the middle.
She'll never dance with you 'cause you're not at her level.
How do I become regular? You'd have to work your way up from a nobody to a freak Ha-ha.
Look at those nobodies.
Move, freaks, this is nerd turf.
Nerds to goths.
Headbangers.
We're better than goths.
Headbangers to class clowns, to bullies, to magicians, to Who are they? The cool kids.
They're the top of the social pyramid.
To get to their level, you have to go through the jocks, the preps, the robots Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna ask Suzie to dance again.
- You can't.
You're a nobody.
- Suzie, hey.
It's me again.
[LAUGHS.]
Tommy, what are you, a bully? Yeah, that was awesome.
I now pronounce you "bully.
" Watch out bullies.
Well looky, looky here.
Nice office, Garcia.
What are you guys doing here? I told you, I'm done with the gang.
You got too much dirt on us BOTH: Yeah! And we know you're buddy-buddy with the sheriff now.
- Yeah! - What? Sheriff just comes by school for lunch every day.
That's all.
Well, as an insurance that you don't rat us out, we need you to whack-a the sheriff.
- Yeah.
- What? I can't do that.
But you still have "murder" tattooed on your face.
I've changed.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dance to prepare for.
- Huh? - Dance? Who cares about a dance? It was 1st grade.
The girl I wanted to dance with left me, so I turned to a life of violence.
But I have left that life for the children.
Then whack-a the sheriff, or we'll listen to all your dance music.
- No! - Pop all your balloons.
- No! - And drink all your punch.
No! Those are for the children! Now, children, there are all kinds of art.
Whee! Come on, Tommy, let's pee on this goth's art project.
Yeah, pull out mine, and I'll pull out Tommy's.
- No! - Tommy! I can't believe you bullies.
Even this is art.
[IMITATES HORSE.]
Suzie, will you please dance with me? [BULLIES LAUGH.]
SUZIE: Tommy! You might be a bully, Tommy, but even this is art.
Suzie, wait.
I'm not a bully.
My science project.
Cool.
Come on, Tommy, cool kids to the front.
But I'm not cool.
- Whoa, Tommy, you look cool.
- Who wants Salisbury steaks? - Me, me.
- Sheriff Oh, sorry.
Cool kids first.
- Sheriff.
- Yeah, what's up, dude? I need your help.
Some guys from my past want me to kill you.
Sorry, off duty, lunch break.
- Here you go.
- Oh, boy.
Mama always me a sculpture of Salisbusy steaks in the shape of my own head 'cause Mama says I'm so yummy.
Oh, yes, I am.
So, how's it feel to sit at the cool table? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
This is nerd turf.
Dorks sit over there.
What would be cool is if Suzie would dance with me.
Cool kids don't dance with regular kids.
- They're beneath us.
- Maybe Tommy's right.
What? I've already danced with the coolest girls.
I'll pronounce Suzie cool and dance with her.
No! - Hey, regular kid.
- What? Will you dance with Hey! I wanted to dance with Suzie.
This calls for a Salisbury Steak Challenge.
- A what? - A Salisbury Steak Challenge.
It's a tradition here at Old Town Elementary.
Whoever sticks the most Salisbury steaks to his face wins and gets to dance with Suzie.
But be careful.
Many years ago, a girl named Matilda was in a Salisbury Steak Challenge.
It gave her a zit that kept on growing.
It was so gross that she went into hiding.
And was never seen again.
Now, kids, clean up your trays.
Come on.
Move it.
Move it.
Move it.
Now, I did what you asked.
The sheriff is dead.
Damn.
You messed him up real bad.
- He's barely recognizable.
- Now, we're done here.
See yourself out.
I have a dance to prepare for.
Okay, bye.
Hey, where's Johnny? Garcia must have killed him when we weren't looking.
No, no.
I trust him.
After all, he did whack-a the sheriff.
I knew I smelled more Salisbury steaks.
They're having a Salisbury Steak Challenge right now.
Yay! BOTH: Hmm.
And Salisburys down.
Tommy wins the Salisbury Steak Challenge.
[CHEERING.]
Suzie, now will you dance with me? - No.
- Huh? I'm not some trophy to be won by sticking Salisbury steaks to your face.
I don't care how cool you are and you're really cool.
But I would be a nobody again just to dance with you.
Really? Now, I'll go to the dance with you.
- Everybody, look.
- Huh? - Tommy, how could you? - What? Don't worry, Suzie.
It's cool.
Ew, Tommy.
That's something I would never do.
This is for pushing me into the trash.
What? No.
Let me out.
Hello? Hello? Is somebody there? [SCREAMS.]
Oh, it was just a cat.
[SCREAMS.]
What are you? It was 1st grade.
I was in a Salisbury Steak Challenge over a boy named Toby I wanted to dance with, but I got a zit on my face That kept growing? You're Matilda.
I've lived down here in shame ever since.
Nobody would dance with me.
I'm gross.
I would dance with you.
Really? Okay, I'm ready.
Ew.
Now, the perfect selfie will make your followers jealous, but also conceal the emptiness inside you.
GARCIA: All 1st graders, head to to the 1st grade dance.
[CHEERING.]
Now, when we find Garcia, I want you to whack him.
- Whacky whack whack, okay? - Yoink.
Hey! What you do that for, huh? Huh.
Hey, where did you go, huh? Damn.
Welcome to the 1st grade dance It's your boy, Sheriff I'm your chaperone Hey, let's dance Let me see some dancing out there.
ALL: Whoa.
Look, Tommy's gonna dance with a giant zit.
[LAUGHS.]
- She's a freak.
- She's worse than a freak.
She's a monster.
CROWD [CHANTING.]
: Monster.
Monster.
[CRYING.]
Everybody, shut up! Huh? If there's one thing I've learned today, it's that it's not right to judge people just 'cause they're different.
- Hey, what you doing? - They might be different Ah, ah, ah, ahh! But it's what's on the inside that matters.
Oh, hey! Matilda? Matilda, where were you all these years? Toby Garcia? I wanted to dance with you, but I got a zit.
- Where's my group? - Are you a cool kid? - No.
Are you a nerd? - We all look the same.
Because we are all the same, no matter if you got tattoos on your face or feet for hands.
We are one.
Now, dance together.
Why can't we live together In there's a world we share The world we share I'm having fun dancing with you, Suzie.
- You, too, Tommy.
- Mr.
Pickles can dance, too.
Hey, I told you, no dogs allowed.
Understanding long time gone Let's come together Come together It feels like we're - Hi, Will.
- Hi, Dave.
Murderer! There's a murderer right there.
Freeze, murderer.
Oh, that's just Garcia.
But he's a murderer.
He has "murder" tattooed on his face.
Oh, he's no murderer.
In fact, he's my buddy.
Right, Garcia? What's up dude? - Yeah.
- I got to go, Sheriff.
All right.
I'll see you at lunch later.
Hmm, looks like Garcia is a - Rat! - Huh? Get it off of me.
Get it off of me.
Ow! Have a good day, now.
Pickles Good Boy He's dog People's best friend Die Pickles Mr.
Pickles.
Here he comes There you are.
Good boy.
S03E06 Tommy Goes to School Hmm.
The school got a new flag.
Um, what is school? Uh-oh.
The school year started 6 months ago.
Why hasn't Tommy been in school this whole time? Who are you again? I'm Principal Garcia, and this is my schoooool! Uh, we just had a lot going on.
Bye, Tommy.
Come on, Mr.
Pickles.
Unh-unh-unh.
No dogs allowed.
Dinosaurs lived either or 4,000 or 65 million years ago.
Both theories are equally valid.
Children! This is Tommy.
He doesn't know anybody, so I know those bullies.
Hi, bullies! - Shut up, Pumpkin Head.
- Yeah Pumpkin.
Knock it off.
And remember, tonight is the 1st grade dance.
So, find that special someone, or live a life of despair.
Oh! That's Suzie, the girl I like.
I'll go to the dance with Suzie.
Tommy? I'll decide who I dance with.
You've got a lot to learn, Tommy like how dinosaurs did exist and didn't.
Both theories are equally valid.
She'll never go to the dance with you, Tommy.
- Why not? - 'Cause you're a nobody.
Huh? [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- See, you're a nobody, like us - Hi.
The bottom of the social pyramid.
Suzie's a regular kid, right in the middle.
She'll never dance with you 'cause you're not at her level.
How do I become regular? You'd have to work your way up from a nobody to a freak Ha-ha.
Look at those nobodies.
Move, freaks, this is nerd turf.
Nerds to goths.
Headbangers.
We're better than goths.
Headbangers to class clowns, to bullies, to magicians, to Who are they? The cool kids.
They're the top of the social pyramid.
To get to their level, you have to go through the jocks, the preps, the robots Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna ask Suzie to dance again.
- You can't.
You're a nobody.
- Suzie, hey.
It's me again.
[LAUGHS.]
Tommy, what are you, a bully? Yeah, that was awesome.
I now pronounce you "bully.
" Watch out bullies.
Well looky, looky here.
Nice office, Garcia.
What are you guys doing here? I told you, I'm done with the gang.
You got too much dirt on us BOTH: Yeah! And we know you're buddy-buddy with the sheriff now.
- Yeah! - What? Sheriff just comes by school for lunch every day.
That's all.
Well, as an insurance that you don't rat us out, we need you to whack-a the sheriff.
- Yeah.
- What? I can't do that.
But you still have "murder" tattooed on your face.
I've changed.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dance to prepare for.
- Huh? - Dance? Who cares about a dance? It was 1st grade.
The girl I wanted to dance with left me, so I turned to a life of violence.
But I have left that life for the children.
Then whack-a the sheriff, or we'll listen to all your dance music.
- No! - Pop all your balloons.
- No! - And drink all your punch.
No! Those are for the children! Now, children, there are all kinds of art.
Whee! Come on, Tommy, let's pee on this goth's art project.
Yeah, pull out mine, and I'll pull out Tommy's.
- No! - Tommy! I can't believe you bullies.
Even this is art.
[IMITATES HORSE.]
Suzie, will you please dance with me? [BULLIES LAUGH.]
SUZIE: Tommy! You might be a bully, Tommy, but even this is art.
Suzie, wait.
I'm not a bully.
My science project.
Cool.
Come on, Tommy, cool kids to the front.
But I'm not cool.
- Whoa, Tommy, you look cool.
- Who wants Salisbury steaks? - Me, me.
- Sheriff Oh, sorry.
Cool kids first.
- Sheriff.
- Yeah, what's up, dude? I need your help.
Some guys from my past want me to kill you.
Sorry, off duty, lunch break.
- Here you go.
- Oh, boy.
Mama always me a sculpture of Salisbusy steaks in the shape of my own head 'cause Mama says I'm so yummy.
Oh, yes, I am.
So, how's it feel to sit at the cool table? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
This is nerd turf.
Dorks sit over there.
What would be cool is if Suzie would dance with me.
Cool kids don't dance with regular kids.
- They're beneath us.
- Maybe Tommy's right.
What? I've already danced with the coolest girls.
I'll pronounce Suzie cool and dance with her.
No! - Hey, regular kid.
- What? Will you dance with Hey! I wanted to dance with Suzie.
This calls for a Salisbury Steak Challenge.
- A what? - A Salisbury Steak Challenge.
It's a tradition here at Old Town Elementary.
Whoever sticks the most Salisbury steaks to his face wins and gets to dance with Suzie.
But be careful.
Many years ago, a girl named Matilda was in a Salisbury Steak Challenge.
It gave her a zit that kept on growing.
It was so gross that she went into hiding.
And was never seen again.
Now, kids, clean up your trays.
Come on.
Move it.
Move it.
Move it.
Now, I did what you asked.
The sheriff is dead.
Damn.
You messed him up real bad.
- He's barely recognizable.
- Now, we're done here.
See yourself out.
I have a dance to prepare for.
Okay, bye.
Hey, where's Johnny? Garcia must have killed him when we weren't looking.
No, no.
I trust him.
After all, he did whack-a the sheriff.
I knew I smelled more Salisbury steaks.
They're having a Salisbury Steak Challenge right now.
Yay! BOTH: Hmm.
And Salisburys down.
Tommy wins the Salisbury Steak Challenge.
[CHEERING.]
Suzie, now will you dance with me? - No.
- Huh? I'm not some trophy to be won by sticking Salisbury steaks to your face.
I don't care how cool you are and you're really cool.
But I would be a nobody again just to dance with you.
Really? Now, I'll go to the dance with you.
- Everybody, look.
- Huh? - Tommy, how could you? - What? Don't worry, Suzie.
It's cool.
Ew, Tommy.
That's something I would never do.
This is for pushing me into the trash.
What? No.
Let me out.
Hello? Hello? Is somebody there? [SCREAMS.]
Oh, it was just a cat.
[SCREAMS.]
What are you? It was 1st grade.
I was in a Salisbury Steak Challenge over a boy named Toby I wanted to dance with, but I got a zit on my face That kept growing? You're Matilda.
I've lived down here in shame ever since.
Nobody would dance with me.
I'm gross.
I would dance with you.
Really? Okay, I'm ready.
Ew.
Now, the perfect selfie will make your followers jealous, but also conceal the emptiness inside you.
GARCIA: All 1st graders, head to to the 1st grade dance.
[CHEERING.]
Now, when we find Garcia, I want you to whack him.
- Whacky whack whack, okay? - Yoink.
Hey! What you do that for, huh? Huh.
Hey, where did you go, huh? Damn.
Welcome to the 1st grade dance It's your boy, Sheriff I'm your chaperone Hey, let's dance Let me see some dancing out there.
ALL: Whoa.
Look, Tommy's gonna dance with a giant zit.
[LAUGHS.]
- She's a freak.
- She's worse than a freak.
She's a monster.
CROWD [CHANTING.]
: Monster.
Monster.
[CRYING.]
Everybody, shut up! Huh? If there's one thing I've learned today, it's that it's not right to judge people just 'cause they're different.
- Hey, what you doing? - They might be different Ah, ah, ah, ahh! But it's what's on the inside that matters.
Oh, hey! Matilda? Matilda, where were you all these years? Toby Garcia? I wanted to dance with you, but I got a zit.
- Where's my group? - Are you a cool kid? - No.
Are you a nerd? - We all look the same.
Because we are all the same, no matter if you got tattoos on your face or feet for hands.
We are one.
Now, dance together.
Why can't we live together In there's a world we share The world we share I'm having fun dancing with you, Suzie.
- You, too, Tommy.
- Mr.
Pickles can dance, too.
Hey, I told you, no dogs allowed.
Understanding long time gone Let's come together Come together It feels like we're - Hi, Will.
- Hi, Dave.