Mr Pickles (2013) s03e05 Episode Script


1 [GRUNTING] At last, the Cave of the Gorzoth.
Now I can open the door to the riches of the ancients.
Yes, but first, how about a visit to the gift shop? What? Guarding the Cave of the Gorzoth doesn't pay much, so I've got a little side business going.
Key chain? T-shirt? Corn dog? What? I don't want a corn dog, you idiot.
I want riches! Oh! My Gorzoth! Oh, no! Aah! Ooh! My Gorzoth! S03E05 Gorzoth Mm.
[HUMS] - So - Hi! - Aah! - Morning, Goodmans! I got lots of products today.
- Sorry, Linda.
- Huh? Things are a little tight for us right now.
And we're not the only ones.
Well, I'd better get off to work.
Don't buy anything, dear, or I'll kill you.
Anyway I got a fish tank, this baseball glove, and this shiny thingy.
- $2 each.
- Huh.
That looks like it has something to do to with Mr.
Pickle - [BARKING] - No, I saw it first.
I'll take it, whatever it is.
- It's a ball.
- What? - Come on, ball.
- Tommy.
Let's go play ball.
[LAUGHS] Anyway, all proceeds go to help the homeless.
Really? Then I'll take it.
Anything to help you get a home.
Wait, what? You think I's homeless? - Oh! - What? Um Oh, why would you think I'm homeless? Oh! Oh, I didn't know you had so much money.
You hurt my feelings, Ms.
I'm sorry.
Cheer up.
How? Well, buying stuff always cheers me up.
Buying stuff? I like that idea.
Come on, girl.
We're going shopping.
I just [BOTH LAUGH] Wanna have fun Ah! Fun, fun, fun, fun Ooh! So let your hair fall down Today we do what we want We're gonna soak up the sun Whooo! Ew! Ooh.
[LAUGHS] We've only begun [LAUGHING] [BOTH LAUGHING, CHEERING] You right, Ms.
Buying stuff cheered me up.
I am so glad.
Uh, where are we? [GRUNTS] Linda, you got some money for us? - Sorry, I spent it all.
- Would you like some food? Oh, that'd be gre No! We want money.
- Money.
- [GRUNTING] Linda, why are these homeless people attacking us? Aah! Get off of my car! [BOTH SCREAMING] Whoa! Run, Ms.
Goodman! - Aaaah! - Money.
Money! Lost Gorzoth.
Will open door and give you no me riches.
- Yay.
- Afternoon, Mime.
What's up, Blade? What's up, Mr.
BoJenkins? Hey, Sheriff.
What's with all the snacks? With the economy so bad, I'm eating all I can just in case the town runs out of snacks.
No, these are my snacks, Floyd.
- Aw.
- Whatever.
- Excuse me.
- Oh, what's up? You seem to know everybody in this town.
- Yeah.
- I'm looking for a trashy woman.
[CHOMPING] Oh, yeah? Yes, trashy woman Do you know her? Hum.
[CHOMPING] Do you know Do you know her? Hum.
[SLURPING] Quit eating snacks and answer the question, you idiot! Ah! My snacks! You're under arrest for snack-ery.
No! Linda, what is going on? Money! Money! [BOTH SCREAM] Money.
This way, Ms.
Linda? Oh! Oh! Linda? Linda, where are you? Aah.
Oh! Huh? Uh, Linda, where are we? This my home.
- Money.
- Money.
Linda, your home is so interesting.
- Ohh! - Shh.
Hi, Linda Jr.
Welcome to our home, Mrs.
- [MOANING] - Oh, Linda, what's wrong? Every day I give all the money I make to the homeless.
- Really? - And today I failed them.
- Shh.
- Money.
Money! See, many years ago, a man asked me to help him tie his shoe, but I didn't, so he tripped and fell.
- Oh! - That is sad, but He fell through the glass of a shark tank.
Them sharks ate 5,000 people to deeeaaath! - Oh.
- Shh.
Ever since then, Mama Linda only feels good when she's helping people.
You were in a band? Oh, yeah.
I play good.
[DRUMS PLAYING] - Linda's in here.
- Aah! - Money! - Oh, no! - No, Tommy.
- Ball, ball, ball.
Give that to me.
Tommy, please.
It's my ball.
Tommy, it's not a ball.
I think it's a head.
Well, you can beg all you want, Grandpa, but I'm not gonna give you head.
Say, what? What the hell's the matter with you? - Creepy-ass old man.
- What? - No.
I-I didn't mean - [LAUGHS] No, Tommy! Oh, no, no.
Get off of me, son.
- TOGETHER: Money! - I wanted to help you homeless peoples, - but I spent all the mo - Money! [SCREAMING] Get back, homeless people.
Come on.
We be safe in my bedroom.
Oh, wow.
Your bedroom is actually really nice.
What's wrong with the rest of my hou - Money! - Maybe we can help you get jobs.
Oh, yeah.
I'll take a jo - We don't want jobs.
- Get her organs.
Yeah, we'll sell 'em for money.
Linda, help.
Ah! I got someone to help again.
Oh, good.
- Hey, homeless.
- Huh? I only wanted to help you.
But now I got to help Ms.
Goodman! [GRUNTING] Mama Linda, our escape route.
- Aaaaaaaaaaaah! - Whoooooa! - Ugh! - Oh! - Sheriff! - Oh, what's up? The homeless, they're after us.
Goodman is a murderer.
- What? - Oh, yeah? In you go with the other criminals.
Linda, I don't understand.
Now you're safe from the homeless forever.
- Wha No, I'm innocent.
- Uh-oh.
[STOMACH GURGLING] Um, I got to go do some emergency pooper work uh, paperwork.
You're the one who took my Gorzoth.
Your what-zoth? Gorzoth, you idiot.
You know, it's a golden head.
It opens up the door to the riches of the ancients.
Oh, I sold that for $2.
$2?! Well, if I take you to it, will you share some of them riches with the homeless people? Yes.
[FARTING] Ohh, boy.
- Tommy, give that to me.
- No.
No, it's mine.
- W-Whoa! - Oh, Tommy.
- My Gorzoth.
- They went in here.
This man will give you riches as soon as Mrs.
Goodman, you're under arrest for murder.
- Oh, she ain't no murderer.
- Oh, okay.
Hey, what's going on here? - Uhh.
- Uhh.
These homeless people's trying to get These aren't homeless people.
Huh? That's Mr.
Withersby, the doctor.
When the economy crashed, I needed your extra money to pay for my tanning bed.
What? And that's Mr.
Plimpton, the real-estate mogul.
I needed extra money to pay for my body modifications.
Oh, hey, what's up, Jill? I mean, being an astronaut bought my mansion, but Linda's money pays for the pool boys.
So, none of y'all is homeless? TOGETHER: Nope.
Wait, uh, I-I actually am homeless.
Here I was, feeling bad, and none of y'all homeless? I am.
Just 'cause y'all can't buy your fancy things don't mean you can't be happy.
Look at the Goodmans.
This place is a wreck.
They ain't got nothing.
- Well, Linda - Nothing! People gots to start learning to be happy with what they got.
Yeah, if these people can be happy with their pathetic lives, then so can we.
- Yeah! - They do have nothing.
- That's not true.
I have this - Gorzoth! Now I shall open the door to the riches of the ancients.
TOGETHER: Riches? Riches! Riches, riches! Hey, uh, how'd you like a job back at the station? I got a big case that needs unclogging.
Oh, that'd be great.
Honey, I'm home? Hi, Dad.
Everybody, come to my house.
Linda gonna cook up some trash stew.
Wow, first a job and now a meal? Now if I could just find a nice woman.
Maybe I could help.
Now, how do I open the door to the riches of the ancients? Place the Gorzoth there.
Or how about a visit to the gift shop? Key chain? T-Shirt? Corn dog? What? No, you idiot.
I want riches.
TOGETHER: Riches! Riches! It worked.
The riches, they're in here.
Huh? Hey, it's just a bunch of heads.
But in ancient times, heads were considered very valuable.
Master, your money's no good here.
[BARKS] Well, if you insist.
One jar of pickles That will be 25 heads.
- [BARKS] - At last, the Gorzoth! [LAUGHS] Mr.
Pickles Good boy Dog People's best friend Die Pickles Hi Will.
Hi Dave.