Murphy Brown s01e04 Episode Script

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Excuse me.
Ms.
Brown? Hello, Ms.
Brown! Oh, no.
The secretary from hell.
Hi.
Robert, I thought we had a mutual understanding that if you ever came back here, I would be within my rights to kill you.
I think you're in for a pleasant surprise.
- Remember when I had my breakdown? - Yes, Robert.
Sometimes I relive it.
I have now had 40 hours of intensive therapy.
And I finally learned to express my emotions.
I can handle anything now.
Even the possibility that there's a bomb out on my desk.
- What? - It came in the mail, addressed to you.
It's definitely a package.
No return address.
- How you doing? - Morning, Murphy.
Hey, could you come here for a minute? Does this look like a bomb to you? - Oh, sure.
We'll be right over there.
- Call security.
Let's not overreact.
You don't really think this could be a bomb, do you? - Who would send me a bomb? - Barbara Bush.
- AI, the dry-cleaner.
- Jerry Lewis.
This is ridiculous.
It's just a package.
I'm opening it.
- It's all right if you wanna leave, Robert.
- No, I'm here for you.
No, no.
I do this sometimes.
It's good.
I'm healing.
What is that? - I can't believe it.
- Murph, what is that? It looks like one of those speakers from an old drive-in.
Gee, I haven't seen one of those since I took Doris to see Can-Can, and we Never mind.
All right.
I wanna know which one of you comedians drew the mustache on my autographed picture of Bert Parks.
- What is that? An old drive-in speaker? - Yes.
Gee.
I haven't seen one of those since Billy Jo Bender took me to the Twin Palm Theater, and we Never mind.
Hey, Murph, this thing seems to have some meaning for you.
Wanna tell us about it? She doesn't have to.
We can read each other like an open book.
Especially when it comes to men.
That's what this is about, isn't it, Murphy? A man.
A relationship.
- Come on.
I'm right, aren't I? - I drew the mustache on Bert Parks.
No, you did not.
Now come on.
Let's talk.
All right.
It is about a man.
I met him 20 years ago.
I guess you could say we had a relationship.
I guess you could say we were married.
- What? - You're kidding! - Well, I have to get back to work.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
Let's go back to work.
But sometime remind me to tell you about the years I spent living with Tina Turner.
It's just one of the many secrets I keep hidden from someone I happen to consider a friend and confidant.
Come on, guys.
It's not that easy for me to talk about.
I don't deal well with failure and especially if I've worked hard at something.
- I worked very, very hard at this marriage.
- How long did it last? Five days.
Come on, come on.
Let's go.
Keep it going, here.
I met Jake in Chicago at the Democratic Convention in '68.
We demonstrated together, we got maced together.
We were even arrested together.
It was love at first sight.
After the judge sentenced us, he married us.
We didn't have any money for a honeymoon so we went to a drive-in to see a foreign movie.
We didn't even get past the cartoon.
We sped out of there so fast, we took this speaker with us.
And now he's sent it back to you.
This means something.
Morning, everybody.
Okay, fasten your seat belts.
I just booked an incredible guest for next week's show.
Think provocative.
Think controversial.
Think Jake Lowenstein.
- Very good.
- He's back in the country.
He's ready to tell his story, and he's gonna tell it live to Murphy Brown.
- Oh, my God.
- What? - Hey, wait a minute.
He's not? - What? - Jake Lowenstein? - What? What? I can't believe it.
Murphy was married to Jake Lowenstein? You're kidding! You were Murphy Lowenstein? - Come on.
Not the office.
- Adios, Miles.
I hate the office.
Nothing good ever happens to me in there.
Miles, it's important that you know exactly what's going on here so I'm going to tell you.
It could get a little personal.
No problem.
Go ahead.
Yes, I was married to Jake Lowenstein.
And it didn't last two weekends.
But it was the most incredible time of my life.
We were wild and intense and passionate.
We did everything big.
We fought big.
And after every fight, we made love big.
Boy, it was something.
And the sex, Miles The sex was incredible.
It was the kind you never forget.
The kind where you think Come on, come on, come on.
What is this, a slumber party? Okay.
Okay, I can see the dilemma.
We're talking about a pretty controversial activist type.
It's important that you keep your professional distance.
- Okay.
I'll give the interview to Frank.
- What? Miles, there's nobody better for this than me.
Yes, we had a history together.
But that's why this will be the best interview I've ever done.
I can just see it now, Murphy.
We're live and you forget to ask him the hard questions because you're too busy picturing how he'd look in a gladiator outfit.
Miles, that's not how women fantasize.
Look, I give you my word: I won't let this get personal.
I'm too good for that.
All right, Murphy, I'm gonna trust you on this one.
Hey, what's this, an old drive-in speaker? Gee, I haven't seen one of these since I took Amy Turlow to see Oliver's Story, and we Never mind.
- Hey there, Murphy.
- Hiya, Phil.
- You save me a table? - Oh, yeah.
Listen, I'm sorry it's not more private.
I know this meeting is kind of special.
Phil, how do you know who I'm meeting here? Are you kidding? I knew about Watergate before Woodward and Bernstein.
- Hell, Murphy, I'm Phil.
- Right.
Well, I guess I'll sit down.
- Could I have a club soda with lime, please? - Sure.
Second thought, make that a double.
- Close the door! - Hey, Phil.
Hi, Murph.
I didn't know you were gonna be here today.
If you're just pretending to bump into me, you're doing a really bad job of it.
What are you talking about? We just came in to have lunch.
It's corned beef and cabbage day, and you know it.
- I'm surprised at you, Jim.
- I didn't wanna come, Murphy.
They gave me the old speech about the camaraderie of journalists and I fell for it.
Well, I guess we'll go find a table.
If we sit back here, how can we see anything? I gotta tell you, Murphy.
I've seen you sitting at this table waiting to interview everybody from Kissinger to Quayle.
- First time I ever saw you nervous.
- Nervous? Me? I'm not nervous.
Okay.
I haven't seen this guy in 20 years and, yes, there was once something between us.
But people change.
They gain some weight.
They lose some hair.
How much chemistry could there be after two decades? - Close it! - Close it! Oh, God.
I want him.
Incredible.
Murphy Brown.
Jake Lowenstein.
- It's been a long time.
- Yes.
Long time.
Very long.
- Twenty years.
- That is long.
Well, then.
Why don't you have something to drink.
Tequila shooter, extra lime, right? - No, gave up the hard stuff a while ago.
- Really? Me too.
Two months, six days and 10 hours.
We were always a lot alike.
You are more beautiful now than you were 20 years ago.
And I'm having an awfully hard time remembering my name.
Look, Jake I think we both know how important it is to keep a professional distance here.
You're famous, I'm famous.
Let's try to behave like two famous people in a public place, and do what we came here for.
Right.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I'll ask you some background questions, and then later I'll get more specific.
Okay, go.
You have an amazing body.
Oh, God, whose voice was that? I've got a plan here.
We get the sex out of the way first, right up front and we No, we can do this.
It's okay.
Now, in 1974, you traveled to South Africa where you organized an anti-apartheid movement And could you please stop crinkling your eyes like that? It makes me crazy.
It always has, so please stop.
- Close! - Close! - Hi there.
- Oh, great.
- Miles, what are you doing here? - It's corned beef and cabbage day.
Miles Silverberg, executive producer.
We spoke on the phone.
- How you doing? - Thought I'd stop by to see how it's going.
So, go ahead.
Don't let me interrupt.
I think I was about to ask you, Jake why when everyone else gave up the revolution, you're still going strong.
I don't feel that we can ever allow apathy to - You're crinkling.
- Sorry.
- What? He's what? - He's crinkling.
It's nothing.
- Is that some sort of code word? - Is it hot in here? It is really hot in here.
Can you ask Phil to turn on the air conditioning? It's December.
It's snowing outside and people are wearing boots.
Murphy just runs a little hot sometimes.
Remember what happened at that all-night grocery store? The frozen-food section.
Oh, God Oh, jeez, Murphy, you could've just asked me to leave.
Look, I have a great idea.
Why don't we just call it quits for today.
We can start again tomorrow when we have clearer heads.
Good idea.
When did you get so reasonable? When I caught myself craving the feel of a frozen potpie between my shoulder blades.
Definitely time to break.
We don't have to rush things.
- We have five days until the interview.
- Five days.
- Seems to be a pattern here.
- Yeah.
I'll see you tomorrow.
So, this guy of yours, does he make a good living? Eldin, I told you.
This is business.
I conduct many interviews in my home.
People are more comfortable in a private setting.
Yeah, right.
Now let's hear you explain this dress which, in my opinion, is on backwards.
Eldin, you're reading much more into this than there really is.
A woman likes to feel she's attractive to men.
Call it ego.
Call it whatever you like.
That's all it is.
Oh, what am I doing? Eldin, give me your sweatshirt.
Could you get the door, please? Guys never see this part of it.
We're always on the other side of the door and meanwhile, there's a whole show going on in here.
It's truly frightening.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Eldin.
I don't live here.
Good.
Jake Lowenstein.
Thank you.
- Oh, hi, Jake.
- Hi, Murphy.
Oh, nice place.
Reminds me of ours, except we had chairs.
Yeah, well, it's not usually like that.
I'm having some work done, and it's taking longer than I thought.
So, Jake, do you make a good living? Look, Eldin, I noticed Paint World is having a sale on Spackle tonight.
Store's open till 9.
You can still make it if you hurry.
Well, I guess I'll be going.
It's nice to meet you, Jake.
You have a pleasant evening.
I'll leave through the back door.
- Well, I guess we should get started.
- Great.
- Now just relax and be yourself.
- I'm very relaxed.
- You smell great.
- So do you.
- Obsession.
- Old Spice.
- I love Old Spice.
- I know.
Wait a minute.
I don't have a back door.
Eldin! - Nice try.
- Thank you.
Listen, I have an idea.
Why don't we have dinner.
While we're doing that, I can ask you some questions.
Wait a minute.
Before we sit down, I brought you something.
I guess this is a good time to give it to you.
Oh, you got me a present? I didn't get you anything.
Well, you weren't supposed to.
Oh, Jake.
It's our song.
You know, we must have mellowed.
This is our second meeting, and we haven't had an argument yet.
Yeah, we really knew how to fight, didn't we? - I remember what used to happen.
- Yeah.
- We'd wind up in the bedroom.
- Yeah.
- Every time.
- Yeah.
- Where is it? - Oh, boy.
We're not doing real well here, are we? Let's get to these questions.
If I don't cover them, I won't be prepared.
Why not let it be spontaneous? That's more my style.
You can be spontaneous, but I have to be prepared.
Let me make it easy for you.
Just ask me about the Rayco Chemical Corporation in Peru.
Ask me how they're polluting the rivers and exploiting the peasant labor market.
You mean hand over 20 minutes of prime-time TV so you can make a speech? Murphy, you think I came back here so you could ask me if I like cats? People have to know what's going on.
But I also have to ask about the damage you did to one of those plants.
I have to keep control of this interview.
- Oh, here we go.
- What's that supposed to mean? Whatever it is, you have to control it.
Nothing changes.
Oh, yeah? Well, I don't see you getting any less stubborn.
You're unbelievable.
Anybody who doesn't agree with you is in the wrong.
Don't put words in my mouth.
You're always doing that.
Don't say I always do that.
I haven't seen you in 20 years.
You could've called.
Stick to the issue instead of picking a fight.
Picking a fight? I'm the only one here who's trying to be a professional.
Are you kidding? Dressed like that? You know how turned on I get when I see you in a sweatshirt! Oh, God, we're doing it.
Oh, no, this is wrong.
This is stupid.
It's unnatural to fight it.
It'll be quick.
An hour.
- And then we can think again.
- No, Jake.
This can't happen.
I have to be free to do this interview on my own terms.
No punches pulled.
No edges blurred.
There's something you don't understand.
I lose a little of myself when I'm with you, Jake.
It scares me.
Say something.
- I need a very cold shower.
- You're crinkling.
Go away, hurry.
- What about the questions? - I'll call you.
- Dinner.
- I'll mail it.
Hurry, hurry.
- When will I see you again? - On the air.
Hurry, hurry.
Hurry! - You feel good? - I feel good.
- Know your stuff? - Know my stuff.
We've all been through one like this.
- Just look it in the eye and stare it down.
- Right.
Murphy, I saw him in the green room, and he looks really, really good.
- All right, places, people.
- Ready, break.
- Hi.
You look great.
- I've heard you do too.
I'm not looking at you until I absolutely have to.
Murphy, I've been thinking about you all day, all night.
I haven't been able to sleep.
Would you please stop it? I haven't slept much myself.
I mean, these days together.
I never expected it, but all I've been thinking about is what it would be like if we'd tried a little harder.
- Jake, what are you saying? - All right.
Five seconds to airtime.
- No, wait! - Four, three Good evening, and welcome to FYI.
For your information tonight Frank Fontana investigates safety standards in high-rise buildings while Corky Sherwood talks with 12 angry women in "Hairdresser Horror Stories.
" But first, a special interview: Jake Lowenstein.
Radical and controversial.
Activist and idealist.
Now, in a rare interview, Murphy Brown reveals the man behind the headlines, live.
- Murphy? - Thank you, Jim.
- Hello, Jake, and welcome.
- Thank you.
I want to know what's been going on with you in the past two decades.
Since the Pentagon break-in incident, you spent years That's all history, Murphy.
I'm interested in what's going on now.
Like in Peru, for instance.
There's an American chemical corporation there called Rayco.
In their three years of operation You sabotaged their plants, and stopped production for weeks.
Isn't it important to note that Rayco has brought jobs into Peru? Rayco is polluting the drinking water and exploiting labor.
You can't take away a people's self-respect.
Then let me ask you this: What if the people you're fighting to protect said they wanted Rayco in their country? - That's a hypothetical question.
- So what? What's your answer? Let me ask you a question: What if I sat here and asked you to marry me? Would you have an answer to that? - It's not the same thing.
- It's exactly the same thing.
You're asking me for an answer to a hypothetical question and so am I.
- You can't answer it, can you? - I could answer it, if I wanted to.
- You could? - Yes, I could.
So if I could answer yours, you could answer mine.
Answer mine.
- You first.
- I asked first.
Let's get back to the important stuff.
If I asked you to marry me, what would you say? If you asked me to marry you, I would probably say yes.
It wouldn't be the smartest thing, but it's what I'd probably say.
Yes? You'd say yes? That's incredible.
Isn't it? - Are we almost finished with this here? - Not so fast.
I believe I asked you what you'd do if the people of Peru wanted Rayco to stay.
I kept my part of the bargain, now you keep yours.
Well, Murphy I can't do it the 5th.
I've gotta fly to Moscow to interview Gorbachev.
- What about the end of the month? - No good.
May be a coup in Chile.
I think I should be there.
- Sometime in March? - I can't plan that far in advance.
I gotta be ready to hop a plane at a moment's notice.
I'll probably be in jail.
What have we learned here? It could still work, Murphy.
We can get married now.
- We can have our blood tests, find a judge.
- What then? Honeymoon in an unstable country and trade in our wedding gifts for bail? Why not? Come on, Murphy, give it up.
Come with me.
Come live my life for a while.
What about my life? It's just like you, Jake.
You only think of your side of it.
You're the one who's inflexible.
It's always been that way.
I'm inflexible? - It's all right to do this, right? - Right.
Just give me five days like this every 20 years and I'll be a happy woman.
- You've got it.
How's the desk? - Sturdy.
- Nobody's here, right? - Right.
- Good night, Murphy.
- Bye, Jake.
- Good interview, Murph.
- See you tomorrow.