My Wife and Kids (2001) s05e01 Episode Script
Fantasy Camp: Part 1
You see, thats called the triple threat position, see.
You take it like that, you come up you come back up this way, then you do this.
Thats how you shoot, then you hold it up like that.
See, I know this because I've been watching Michael Jordan my entire life.
I know every move he's gonna make before he even makes the move.
I even know the look he gets in his eyes before hes about to take it to the hole, like this look.
See that, here look I'll show you some more, look watch this.
Look at him, he's obsessed.
I'm almost sorry I got him that "Fantasy Camp" present.
Why? Why? because for the last six months he's been drawing diagrams, Reading books, Convinceing himself he can beet Michael Jordan one on one! Do you really think he can beat Michael Jordan? Yeah laugh, you laugh, you laugh its not gonna be so funny when am taking Mr.
Jordan Boom!, like that.
Babe, what if he blocks your shot? Why would you even say that? Such negative energy to throw out.
You know what, if he does block my shot, all i do grandson Is put one of your dippers inside his North Carolina shorts, and he'll think its him and then he wont be able to concentrate.
Come on lets go change your dipper.
I'm scared, I'm scared Why am i so scared? Because am coming for you Mike Thats why your scared, I know why you wake up in the middle of the night with that chill going up your spine.
Thats me, I'm coming for you.
And am gonna implement my secret spin move and take you to the hoop, to the hoop Mr Jordan, the hoop.
Come in.
Dad, can i talk to you for a minute.
Sure thing son, whats on your mind.
Ahh.
its no big deal, am just really not sure i want to be a father anymore.
Hear that Mike.
He don't wanna be a father, if you don't want to be a father just stop.
Cool.
Thanks dad, I'd knew you'd understand Boy, get your butt back in here.
I knew it wasn't that easy.
Boy what you talking about you don't want to be a father? Its to hard dad, the baby was crying at two in the morning and i didn't know what to do And i was sleepy.
So what did Vanessa say? She slept all the way through it, how is that possible? Because shes Tired.
Try pushing this out of your behind and see how sleepy you are.
Okay.
Junior.
Come here, I wasn't being literal.
How can you see this man right here.
Star in Space Jam? Junior, this is Michael Jeffrey Jordan, he is the greatest basketball player to ever play the game, he's the ultimate winner.
But do you know he got cut in high school.
Umm.
.
I hope it wasn't one of those paper cuts, imagine you trying to put on your Tighty Whity and you got a little paper cut right at the end of your finger, right up in there, you trying to put your draws on.
.
humhumhuhun.
I feel bad for him.
O-whats that.
-It came from over there.
-Where? No it came from over.
.
O-well.
It wasn't a paper cut, he got cut from his high school basketball team but that didn't stop him.
And neither should it stop you.
So what should I do? You need to adopt a winning attitude son okay.
Take me for instance, most people wouldn't think i could beat this man one on one in a game of basketball.
Because you cant.
Why would you bring such negativity into the room? You got little ???? dad Yeah but am.
am quick.
No, your not, you got little ???? and your old.
You know what, am not going to let you effect my dream.
Okay, now am going to Vegas and am gonna institute my secret spin move and am gonna take Mr.
Jordan to the hoop.
Okay.
Let me show you, you be jordan alright.
I want you to try and play defence on meWait.
Wait okay, you have to shift 40% of your body weight to your right foot just like Mr.
Jordan does and then you need to stick that hand out like that over there and then you need to cross your eyes.
and stick your tounge out.
Okay, now.
.
Wait Wait.
-What? -You gotta let me get passed you.
Thats what "D" stands for, don't do nothing.
Okay, now do it again, cross your eyes, Hey Look.
Thats what am gonna do to Jordan, just like that.
Seeing, as in that momment 40% of his body weight is on the right ball of his foot.
"AND THATS WHEN I SPIN TO MY LEFT AND TAKE HIM TO THE HOOP".
Well, I rest my case.
Actually Mr.
Kyles right I ran some tests and it would be physically impossible for Mr.
Jordan to beat Mr.
Kyle.
Theres no way he can beat you daddy.
Thank you baby.
That move is full proof.
It is full proof Hes unstopable.
By the force of nature Your ready for it.
Totally Prepared ,Mentally And you'll have your wife and kids there cheering you on.
And my wife, and ma kids will be at my side.
Freeze What what just happened? -Ah when yesterday? -no when were -Ah.
when we where sitting right there Emmoh, You agreed that your wife and kids would come with you to vegas and cheer you on.
Jay, I can'tI gotta concentrate on the task in hand do you think Michael Jordans wife is going to be there? if she wants to be.
True.
I'll tell you what though Jay.
What? I'll make a little deal with you.
You all can come to Vegas If you can knock this ball out of my handsWAIT.
Just did No, I had to be in a triple threat position and you spoze to have 40% of your body weight on your right ball of your foot.
Women - They don't understand the way the game is played.
Now am sure you all heard that your mother tricked me into letting you come to Vegas with me.
WAIT.
Ohthats great, I love vegas we can't go hunny.
We cant? Ofcourse not, the baby was to get his shots.
Well i thought that if we maybe We can't go.
Yeah but seeing as am the head of the house We can't go.
Yeah WE CAN'T GO! Look we can't go alright! So dad stop asking! To bad, we'll just try and have fun with out you, I know I will.
Your not gonna gambol are you Why would you say that to me Claire? Why would you just say that out of the clear blue sky? Geeez, Take it easy.
Don't tell me to take it easy okay, do I look like a car ????? Do I look like a ????? Do I look like ???? soda ????? Shut up Junior.
Hey everybody, whats going on? We were just talking about our trip to Las Vegas.
You mean Lost Vegas, the city of Lost soles.
Now Mr.
Kyle, I know your not gonna lead your family to the path of temptation.
I'd love to see the temptation.
Enough enough enough enough.
Mr.
Kyle, Now Vegas is evil, it will vex your spirit Its nothing more than a horlet, in a neon blouse Choppy skirt, liquorish stockings and gun drop shoes.
Itsits evil okay.
MrMrMr.
Kyle I beseech you.
No don't beseeched me.
I did.
You beseeched me.
I just did.
beseecheded.
beseecheded.
Well were going.
Gosh, fine Claire let me appeal directly to you.
I inform you stay out of that, wild pit in the desert, that swamp of degradation and wickedness.
Tony, come here.
Do you realize whats in Vegas? Yes, Hors and Liquor.
No, theres wedding chapels, we can get married.
Ohh ofcourse, that way we could finally do it, with no guilt.
Yes.
Okay, I am for this trip.
Great, because you can't go.
I am so excited about our tripppp.
Woahh, woahh baby you know I gotta abstain, gotta abstain.
Thats why I didn't want to bring you to Vegas, because you know how hard it is for you to keep those hands of me.
I promise you I wont bother you at all.
Thank you.
Mom and Dad, am not going to Vegas.
Ah Heavens.
Why not? You see were're talking about force separation between me and Kady, and we can't bare it.
well your gonna have to man up Mumfruad, okay its only a couple of days.
It may seem like a couple of days to a wizened old pinot like you, but for someone as young as I, Its a eternity.
Wait a minute baby, It may not be such a bad idea to take Franklin along.
Kids often do better if they bring a friend.
Yeah well whos going to pay for his trip? I can cover my expenses by simpley booking a speaking engagement at Hoover Dam.
I'll do a chapter on my book about hydroelectronics and I'm something of a celebrity among the damports Franklin No, no Mrs.
Kyle, thats what there called, D-A-M-Port.
There wacky about dams.
Please daddy.
No.
Please Mr.
Kyle I'll do anything.
Anything? Alright, step over here.
I'll tell you what Mr.
Mumfruad, I'll let you come to Vegas with us, if you could knock this ball out of my han.
WAIT WAIT, I wasn't ready yet.
Deals a deal daddy.
How'd you do that? These new shoes I invented.
What is it, is it a snicker? There not just snickers.
Well are they a sandal? There not just sandals.
Well what the heck is it? I call them Sanandals.
Sanandals.
I even made a jingle to go with it.
anywho.
You work on that jingle.
And am going to work on my dribble .
Come on Franklin, lets go get some ice cream.
Franklin can i talk to you for a second? I'll join you in a moment my love.
Yes Mrs.
Kyle? I got a question for you.
How much you know about blackjack? Did you say blackjack? Hey, Dont touch the Sanandal.
Wow! Look at the lights.
Look at those slot machines.
Hey, hey, easy, easy.
Am just looking.
Hey look, theres Junior and Tony.
WHAT kinda foolishness Hi guys.
Boy what the hell are you two doing here? Well Tony said he was comin here to save you all so, I thought I'd help him, because where family.
Speaking of family, Did you leave you girlfriend and baby at home by themselfs? No.
There with there parents.
Vanessa was fine with it Besides, Junior jr.
doesn't need me to get his shots, am just gonna faint anyway.
That is so selfish and irresponsible, come here.
You are going back on the first plain to Conneticut tomorrow morning.
Its time for you to face your father responsibility, and start acting like an adult.
Okay dadUhhhhh a magician! Well forget that because your not going to see him, Your not spouse to be here and your not gonna have fun whilst you're here.
But daddy, he's not just any magician, its Harry Blacktop Jackson.
Whos that? I have no idea.
Boy forget about it okay, your not going.
Sorry Junior, sounds like the only magician your gonna be seeing is Harry who don't leave the roomy aaaaaanny who.
Okay listen, I guess we have gonna have to get an extra room for Tony here.
Oh no, thanks Mrs.
Kyle I mean but.
I wouldn't stay here in Sodoma e Gomorra I got a room down town at the Christian chapel with good decent people.
Fine, Suit your self Tony.
Hey Claire, maybe we can go to ahh.
.
"Services" tonight.
That sound like a great idea Tony, I'll see you later.
Whats all the damn winking about? Ohhhwere allergic to sin Mr.
Kyle.
hahaha.
.
bye.
Come on, forget him baby lets go get changed and have some funnnnnnnnn.
No, no, no, no fun for me okay.
I got to go prepare for the one on one with Jordan, gotta go check in first.
Ahh.
.
can i go see the magician if mom cam with me? Well am going to the SPA okay, and you gonna babysit Kady.
If you wont take care of your own kids, you can take care of mine.
Why can't Franklin watch her? Can we just check in please? Yes, good idea, we'll all just check-in, Jay? I WON, I WON $5.
$5.
Screaming and shouting Hi, checking into the "Fantasy Camp" Alrightttt, welcome, what is your name? My name is Michael -JORDAN! -Where! Where?, Michael Jordan! Where? Michael? Sucker, made you see.
I'm checking in Bob Slobadonapopovich.
Slobadonapopovich.
Yep, i have you right here.
welcome to senior flight school.
Hey, that wasn't Michael Jordan.
Ohhhh sorry, My badz.
Mr.
Slobadonapopovich, you will be playing Mr.
Jordan tomorrow at 1pm.
Ahhh.
.
then tomorrow at one, all 73 people Of my home country will celebrate my victory at Toshkas house.
Okay.
Look, Wayne Newton.
Yeah right, like am gonna fall for that one.
You can fool me once, shame on you, you fool me twiceahhh Then shame on.
ahme, but if you fool me three time, well then I probably needed to be fooled.
But your not going to fool me, because that man right there is not Wayne Newton.
Could be.
Yeah, but your not.
Look, I'am not going to argue Yes you are, Its to late now.
No am not.
-Yes you are.
-No.
-I wanna argue.
Well I don't wanna.
I do, we are, am arguing.
I'll tell you what, if your Wayne Newton than Why don't you sing his signature song Donkey Chains.
Let me here Donkey Chains.
Donkey Chains? Donkey Chains, you know like Expression of a donkey in chainsYou know Donkey Chains, the thing that holds the donkey to the.
to the post.
Your not referring to the song "Danke Shoen" are you? Dankewhat does that mean in english? Refresh my memory here, give me a little lyric of Donkey Chains.
Boys in pain, what kinda sick song is that? Hey, you wrote it, I didn't wright it.
Listen, the real lyric goes like this Look, obviously your not Wayne Newton, your a good impersonator.
But I know my Wayne Newton, Your not Wayne Newton.
Checking in Mr.
Newton.
Yeah sure am.
Wonderful, the Danke Shoen suite is ready to go.
Thank you.
Its Donkey Chains, You might want to put that down.
The Donkey Chain suite.
Any who What can i do for you Sir? Michael Kyle, checking in to "Fantasy Camp" Kyle? Kyle, K-Y-L-E, Kyle.
Don't have your name here Sir.
Oh it better be there.
You better check a little harder.
Dig a little deeper into the database.
I don't have any Kyles at all.
Don't mess with me man! I'ave come all the way from Conneticut! II'll check something else.
You do that.
You know I'm beginning to think Mr.
Jordan Is trying to hid from me.
Mr.
Kyle, .
.
I do have you here, you are signed up.
Thank god.
For next years camp.
Oh, next year huh.
NO! I'm sorry Sir, the fact is out camps are very much in demand.
And the last person that got in this year was a Mr.
Bob Slobadonapopovich -Damn that Bob Slobdpv.
vonadobapopqvpopovich! -Yeah -Damn him! We'll see you next year.
You will be seeing me before next year.
Lets do it Mike, Its just me and you, you dont have no Sky Pippin no Papa Jones to help you out.
Babe, what time you gonna be playing Michael Jordan? WellahhI don't really have an offical time Its kind unofficiallyhumthere still working out the particulars.
Well make sure you tell us because we wanna make sure we're there.
Yeah, and we can't wait to see you take Jordan to the hoop.
Yeah you laugh, laugh it up, Its not going to be so funny when am up in the air skying over Jordan like this You know what, am going to go down to the jym and work out, what you guys gonna do? Ahh.
.
I told you, am going to the Spa and am going to recline in lac of luxury.
No slot machines.
Babe, why you gonna say the word slot machines the word out of the clear blue sky? -Am just sayin' -You just gonna say that word to me Come on babe, thats the last thing on my mind.
Why all the quarters? Uh? Spa meters.
Right.
Claire, I want you back in this room by eleven.
Okay.
Thats E-L-E-M-B-M, ELEVEN.
Okay daddy, I'll come home right after "Services".
Alright.
wheres Franklin? He's in his room waiting for the damn fools to pick him up.
Alright you guys I gotta go, see you laterrrr.
Kady, you behave for your brother okay.
Yes daddy.
-Okay.
-I come all the way to Vegas to wind up and get stuck up in a room with a rotten kid.
Yeah, well you shouldn't be here in the first place.
You should be back in Conneticut with your own rotten kid.
So stop complaining.
Fine! Watch that attitude.
Sorry.
Bye daddy.
Bye baby.
Do you want to watch Bambi with me? No dear.
Are you sure? Didn't you just hear me I said "No dear"! I wanna go downstairs and see the magician.
But i can't stay here by myself.
Aww don't worry about that, I mean we're in a big city.
I'm sure we can find you a babysitter.
Lets look in the phonebook.
hmmmm lets seebb.
.
bBaby Dog Companions "We'll come to you".
Perfect.
Have you seen Michael Jordan? Because am going to do this to him Excuse me Sir, can you tell me witch room Michael Jordans in? You expect me to compromise my integrity, My job and the health and well fair of my children Not to mention the security of the most beloved superstar that ever grassed the hardwood? I can give you $300.
He's right there.
Another 100 I'll get you a ???, 200 you get the private tour For $1000 I hold Jordan down like a Thanksgiving turkey.
I turn my head, I don't know nothing, I don't see nothing.
Its okay, Just give me into the room.
Thank you.
Michael Jordan hands touched this door.
Now my hands are touching this door.
His assent is seeping into my body.
I can't keep my tounge in my mouth.
I am Michael Jordan.
Mike? M.
J.
? Its M.
K.
Are you here? Mike listen, theres been a little mistake down at the Camp.
Its his Jersey.
It doesn't even stink.
Michael Whispering To Himself Focus, Focus Mike.
Listen Mike, I need your help.
Are you in the bathroom? Mike listen I really wanna Thank you.
Lord forgive me.
Thank you.
Franklin, get over here.
Hi Mrs.
Kyle.
where you on your way to? I'm off to see the Dam port.
Okay, Franklin i need them a little bit more than they do okay.
Its that blackjack Franklin.
I'm in so deep Franklin, Michael is going to kill me.
But Mrs Kyle, can't you remember my blackjack system? No Franklin, its to complicated.
It couldn't be simpler.
Whats so hard about a series of long arithmetic calculations based on numerical progressions rising on the finance combinations of cards, based on a 52 card deck? Because I have no idea what you just said.
Listen to me listen to me good okay.
If you ever ever ever ever ever wanna see Kady again/Oh yeah I said it\.
Say it again.
If you ever wanna see Kady again, then you'll help me.
We have a deal, But how can I help you? am not even aloud casinos.
See I prepared for this Franklin.
This is where my genius comes in, I have a plan.
Would you like another card? Hmmmwhat do u think honey.
Franklin In a Cowboy accent I recon you should take a another hit little lady.
Excuse me Sir, how old are you? How dare you question me you stubbornish young rap scalene.
How old are you? 15botox.
Kid your not aloud a lawyer at the casino.
Excuse me I gotta go to the bathroom This old bladder aint as strong as it used to be.
You have 14, you wanna hit? I.
.
have14do I wanna hit? Take the hit.
Awww what a sweat little baby over here, Its a sweat baby.
Hey kid, I told you to keep moving.
Franklin Talks Like A Baby GO-GO-GAGA Get out! GO-GO-GOTTA-GO I have 18 and the dealer has 3, what should I do? Stay! I'll stay.
Hows that.
You win again.
Yes I do.
Unhand me you brotes, I want my lawyer.
Tony, where are your clothes? They stole them.
At the Christian Hostel? Yeah Claire, They even took my "What Would Jesus Do" bracelet.
Who would do a thing like that? I mean WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE!? I'm sorry.
Listen, am angry, but am glad Because after tonight I'll finally be able to rid myself some of these seeds of evil.
Great, lets get on with this.
Okay.
Hello, is anyone there? Can I help folks? Audience Clap Hi, are you the reverend.
I'm reverend Al.
Hi am Tony and this is Claire.
Nice to meat you young folks, .
but what happened to your clothes son? They where actually stolen down at the Christian Hostel.
I used to minister down at the Christian hostel.
I'm afraid that theres alot more hostel than Christian.
but how can I help you fine young people? Ah actually we would like to get married.
Ofcourse, you don't want a nice big wedding where your family and friends come and throw all that rice and money at you.
Forget about that gorgeous gown and tuxedo.
You want to get married in your dolphin undies.
In my tiny roach infested chapel It will prepare you for your tiny roach infested apartment, where you will raise your malnourished ignorant babies.
And look in the mirror at your beautiful body, starched out and pulled down and dry up.
And am just talking about you young man.
but come on, lets go into the back and get this done.
Ahhh.
maybe we should wait.
Why do the babies have to be ignorant? Gee, I hope I didn't say anything to scare you off.
No, Actually we where just leaving.
Well, Let me show you out.
You know, I used to have a "What Would Jesus Do" bracelet just like your.
No Kidding.
Yeah and it had my initials T.
J.
on it just like yours.
Well this one stands for "Thank You Jesus".
Thank you, Thank you so much.
For my next trick, I'd like to perform an illusionary originally mad famous by the great Harry Houdini.
The Tomb Of Teleportation And for that I'll need an audience volunteer please.
Ohh.
.
ohh.
.
pick me, I want to go in The Tomb Of Teleportation.
Very well, The big headed young man in the back.
Thats me, thats me.
And your name is? Junior Kyle.
Junior, where you from? Stanford Conneticut.
Wellthat boring get in the box.
I will now teleport this man back to a time and place of his choosing.
Young man where in time would you like to visit? Anytime, anyplace in all of history.
Anytime and anyplace? Let your imagination run wild.
Okay.
I wanna go back Yes? Back Ahaa.
.
Back Here we go.
All the way back to the one thirty buffet.
No wait, One O'clock thats before they ran out of shrimp.
Very well.
I will now ignore Juniors request to be teleported back to lunch Instead I will send him back to the stone age where perhaps he will meat someone as smart as himself.
Yes and its SimSimSimSalabim send Junior back to the timeless scene.
Thank you, Thank you.
Perhaps we should bring him back Before he gets eaten by a dinosaur? Alright, here we go.
Junior come on out.
Alright, for my next trick pick a card, anycard.
I'm so happy, I'm sad.
Me to.
Hey Kady baby am home heyho.
ho? Hi, you must be Mrs.
Kyle.
This is Bambi.
Bambi? Yes, your son hired meto watch Kady.
What kinda fool He told me he was going to the magic show.
Oh am gonna show him some magic, am gonna make my foot disappear.
Kady baby are you alright? Yeah am fine.
we watched bambi three times.
Parts of it are sad.
Yeah I know.
But for me its personal, Because my mother was shot by a hunter.
Ah.
.
look yeah Thanks for babysitting my daughter and everything, how much do I owe you? Well lets see.
Three happy endings, two pony rides and one ring around the rosey and that would be $900.
$900! Not Including the tip.
You want $900 plus a tip? Well, the money doesn't go to me it goes to Earl.
.
heeeheeeeheeeeeeee.
.
.
I mean "The Agency".
Alright Franklin, everything will be fine, just stay out of the casino.
Thanks Bob.
Hey, that was great the way you twisted the meaning of section 29 of the subpoena code.
You taught me that trick Franklin.
I did, didn't I.
Well, thanks again Bob.
Don't mention it, I owe you one pal.
You know if it wasn't for your late night tutoring session, I never would have got you know who off.
Excuse me, Hello.
Can I help you folks? Yes, where looking for our son.
Dumb, big head, Stanford Conneticut? Yeah, thats him.
Have you seen him? Yes, actually I made him disappear.
I need you to bring him back so I can beat his behind.
Thats the problem, I can't figure out how to get him back, theres been a malfunction in the illusion.
Prehaps I can help.
Yeah, you know about illusions? Im actually seven feet tall.
How do you do it? Mirrors? No, Black top.
The truth is I have quite a bit of experience with prestidigitation.
Honey, watch your mouth.
It means magic my dove.
I once preformed a floating man illusion for the queen.
Elizabeth? No, Latifa.
But thats another story.
Allow me to cogitate.
Oh he's good at this.
Which direction did you spin the box to make him disappear? Counter clockwise.
Fear not.
Now spin it clockwise Keep spiningKeep spiningKeep spiningStop! right there.
Junior enters shouting How did you to that? With out giving away the secrets of illusion, Juniors head was so big that it got ????? in the ?????.
I was so scared back there.
You think you where scared wait till i take you back to the room.
What did I do? Why don't you tell us about Bambi the hooker, And how you plan on paying her $900 Junior.
$900? Yeah, 900.
Wow thats alot.
For $900 I hope she did a little miss muffin, a couple of humpty dumptys And a cow jumped over the moon.
For that kinda money you gotta get two hey diddle diddle, One Rampelstilsken, a rubba dub dub and three men in a tub.
-Did I say that out loud? -Yeah.
This is so cool.
Your lucky you get to see this at all, if there was an earlier flight you wouldn't be here.
Yeah i know, but still, how many kids get to watch there dad kick Michael Jordans butt? Yeah but dads gonna win because he's going to SPIN TO THE LEFT AND TAKE JORDAN TO THE HOOP.
MAN OVER SPEAKER And now from North Carolina, number 23Michael Jordan MAN OVER SPEAKER From republic Penzac StocomaBob Slobadonapopovich Bob SlobadonapopoWho? Hey, are those my shoes? ErrNo, I got these from the Jordan store in republic Penzac Stoco.
jama.
Alright, lets play.
I hope you ready for this.
See thats the triple threat.
Next.
Wait, you didn't let meyou didn't let me get ready.
Next.
Wait.
Next.
Let me just play, I got this special move.
What, what do you want to play to? Play to ten.
Alright, I get the ball first.
Well thats not fair.
I get the ball first.
Ready? Am ready, you ready? Drop the ball.
Do it with your eyes closed and am impressed.
I wasn't playing defence, I wasn't playing "D", thats that Joe Doom defense, look at that.
3 v 0 Its alright.
4 v 0 Can't shot it from there.
That aint your spot.
That aint your spot, you aint got no spot there.
Whats that? Ermm.
.
3 v3 v 2.
7 v 0.
8 v 0.
Lucky shots, Lucky eight shots.
Is someone tired.
No.
See, see that defence.
All defence.
Next.
Hey, where you going? Am leaving this camp.
Why? Why? because my secret move didn't even work on you.
So you gonna quit.
Yeah.
If you quit right now your gonna quit in life.
Come on don't quit, just try harder.
Just wanted one bucket.
Am sorry Bobwhats your name again? Its Mike, just like your.
Everybody wants to be like Mike, good luck kid.
I'll never wash it, yeah maybe I should wash it.
Heading to the airport dad.
Okay son, have a good flight.
You okay dad? Yeah am great.
Well your taking this very well.
Its just a game, and look I won a trophey, came in second, to last.
Thats 23rd place thats his favorite number.
Wow dad, that would make a great key chain.
Listen I saw you talking to Jordan afterwards, What did he say? No nothing, he was just complementing me how good I played, and my aggressiveness.
He wanted me to show him the spin move.
What about you son, you made any decisions yet, or are you still thinking about quiting fatherhood? Well, am still scared dad.
The whole reason why I came to Las Vegas was I didn't want to see the baby get his shots.
I couldn't stand to hear him crying, I don't know if I can do this father thing.
Ofcourse you can, because your my son.
And in your heart your a true champion, and champions don't quit.
See if you quit now your going to quit in life, and quiters never win.
See you got to be able to lose in order to win.
So just don't quit.
That was beautiful dad.
I can't quit now, if I quit now I will always be a loser.
So I need to focus on winning at the important stuff like, Loving Vanessa and loving my son.
Hello son, hows daddys boy? hows daddys boy doing? Look, your heading in the right direction.
Okay.
You have your brass ring now.
Speaking off rings, look at that.
Wow, where did you get that? Michael Jordan gave it to me.
He just gave it to you? Yep, because I was determined and I didn't quit.
.
and I gave him $15,000.
Wow when you die can I have that? Don't mind digin' I don't dad, Thank you.
I love you dad.
Love you to.
Hey dad when I grow up, I wanna be just like you.
Everybody wanna be like Mike.
Whos this, whos this? Fault.
You reach, I teach.
Thats traveling.
No, thats not traveling? Traveling, traveling.
you were traveling.
No.
Traveling.
They aint no red flag here.
Im the ref.
Its my Camp dude.
Reach and I dribble the ball.
You didn't know about that.
No.
Take some off that.
Created: Ballin'
You take it like that, you come up you come back up this way, then you do this.
Thats how you shoot, then you hold it up like that.
See, I know this because I've been watching Michael Jordan my entire life.
I know every move he's gonna make before he even makes the move.
I even know the look he gets in his eyes before hes about to take it to the hole, like this look.
See that, here look I'll show you some more, look watch this.
Look at him, he's obsessed.
I'm almost sorry I got him that "Fantasy Camp" present.
Why? Why? because for the last six months he's been drawing diagrams, Reading books, Convinceing himself he can beet Michael Jordan one on one! Do you really think he can beat Michael Jordan? Yeah laugh, you laugh, you laugh its not gonna be so funny when am taking Mr.
Jordan Boom!, like that.
Babe, what if he blocks your shot? Why would you even say that? Such negative energy to throw out.
You know what, if he does block my shot, all i do grandson Is put one of your dippers inside his North Carolina shorts, and he'll think its him and then he wont be able to concentrate.
Come on lets go change your dipper.
I'm scared, I'm scared Why am i so scared? Because am coming for you Mike Thats why your scared, I know why you wake up in the middle of the night with that chill going up your spine.
Thats me, I'm coming for you.
And am gonna implement my secret spin move and take you to the hoop, to the hoop Mr Jordan, the hoop.
Come in.
Dad, can i talk to you for a minute.
Sure thing son, whats on your mind.
Ahh.
its no big deal, am just really not sure i want to be a father anymore.
Hear that Mike.
He don't wanna be a father, if you don't want to be a father just stop.
Cool.
Thanks dad, I'd knew you'd understand Boy, get your butt back in here.
I knew it wasn't that easy.
Boy what you talking about you don't want to be a father? Its to hard dad, the baby was crying at two in the morning and i didn't know what to do And i was sleepy.
So what did Vanessa say? She slept all the way through it, how is that possible? Because shes Tired.
Try pushing this out of your behind and see how sleepy you are.
Okay.
Junior.
Come here, I wasn't being literal.
How can you see this man right here.
Star in Space Jam? Junior, this is Michael Jeffrey Jordan, he is the greatest basketball player to ever play the game, he's the ultimate winner.
But do you know he got cut in high school.
Umm.
.
I hope it wasn't one of those paper cuts, imagine you trying to put on your Tighty Whity and you got a little paper cut right at the end of your finger, right up in there, you trying to put your draws on.
.
humhumhuhun.
I feel bad for him.
O-whats that.
-It came from over there.
-Where? No it came from over.
.
O-well.
It wasn't a paper cut, he got cut from his high school basketball team but that didn't stop him.
And neither should it stop you.
So what should I do? You need to adopt a winning attitude son okay.
Take me for instance, most people wouldn't think i could beat this man one on one in a game of basketball.
Because you cant.
Why would you bring such negativity into the room? You got little ???? dad Yeah but am.
am quick.
No, your not, you got little ???? and your old.
You know what, am not going to let you effect my dream.
Okay, now am going to Vegas and am gonna institute my secret spin move and am gonna take Mr.
Jordan to the hoop.
Okay.
Let me show you, you be jordan alright.
I want you to try and play defence on meWait.
Wait okay, you have to shift 40% of your body weight to your right foot just like Mr.
Jordan does and then you need to stick that hand out like that over there and then you need to cross your eyes.
and stick your tounge out.
Okay, now.
.
Wait Wait.
-What? -You gotta let me get passed you.
Thats what "D" stands for, don't do nothing.
Okay, now do it again, cross your eyes, Hey Look.
Thats what am gonna do to Jordan, just like that.
Seeing, as in that momment 40% of his body weight is on the right ball of his foot.
"AND THATS WHEN I SPIN TO MY LEFT AND TAKE HIM TO THE HOOP".
Well, I rest my case.
Actually Mr.
Kyles right I ran some tests and it would be physically impossible for Mr.
Jordan to beat Mr.
Kyle.
Theres no way he can beat you daddy.
Thank you baby.
That move is full proof.
It is full proof Hes unstopable.
By the force of nature Your ready for it.
Totally Prepared ,Mentally And you'll have your wife and kids there cheering you on.
And my wife, and ma kids will be at my side.
Freeze What what just happened? -Ah when yesterday? -no when were -Ah.
when we where sitting right there Emmoh, You agreed that your wife and kids would come with you to vegas and cheer you on.
Jay, I can'tI gotta concentrate on the task in hand do you think Michael Jordans wife is going to be there? if she wants to be.
True.
I'll tell you what though Jay.
What? I'll make a little deal with you.
You all can come to Vegas If you can knock this ball out of my handsWAIT.
Just did No, I had to be in a triple threat position and you spoze to have 40% of your body weight on your right ball of your foot.
Women - They don't understand the way the game is played.
Now am sure you all heard that your mother tricked me into letting you come to Vegas with me.
WAIT.
Ohthats great, I love vegas we can't go hunny.
We cant? Ofcourse not, the baby was to get his shots.
Well i thought that if we maybe We can't go.
Yeah but seeing as am the head of the house We can't go.
Yeah WE CAN'T GO! Look we can't go alright! So dad stop asking! To bad, we'll just try and have fun with out you, I know I will.
Your not gonna gambol are you Why would you say that to me Claire? Why would you just say that out of the clear blue sky? Geeez, Take it easy.
Don't tell me to take it easy okay, do I look like a car ????? Do I look like a ????? Do I look like ???? soda ????? Shut up Junior.
Hey everybody, whats going on? We were just talking about our trip to Las Vegas.
You mean Lost Vegas, the city of Lost soles.
Now Mr.
Kyle, I know your not gonna lead your family to the path of temptation.
I'd love to see the temptation.
Enough enough enough enough.
Mr.
Kyle, Now Vegas is evil, it will vex your spirit Its nothing more than a horlet, in a neon blouse Choppy skirt, liquorish stockings and gun drop shoes.
Itsits evil okay.
MrMrMr.
Kyle I beseech you.
No don't beseeched me.
I did.
You beseeched me.
I just did.
beseecheded.
beseecheded.
Well were going.
Gosh, fine Claire let me appeal directly to you.
I inform you stay out of that, wild pit in the desert, that swamp of degradation and wickedness.
Tony, come here.
Do you realize whats in Vegas? Yes, Hors and Liquor.
No, theres wedding chapels, we can get married.
Ohh ofcourse, that way we could finally do it, with no guilt.
Yes.
Okay, I am for this trip.
Great, because you can't go.
I am so excited about our tripppp.
Woahh, woahh baby you know I gotta abstain, gotta abstain.
Thats why I didn't want to bring you to Vegas, because you know how hard it is for you to keep those hands of me.
I promise you I wont bother you at all.
Thank you.
Mom and Dad, am not going to Vegas.
Ah Heavens.
Why not? You see were're talking about force separation between me and Kady, and we can't bare it.
well your gonna have to man up Mumfruad, okay its only a couple of days.
It may seem like a couple of days to a wizened old pinot like you, but for someone as young as I, Its a eternity.
Wait a minute baby, It may not be such a bad idea to take Franklin along.
Kids often do better if they bring a friend.
Yeah well whos going to pay for his trip? I can cover my expenses by simpley booking a speaking engagement at Hoover Dam.
I'll do a chapter on my book about hydroelectronics and I'm something of a celebrity among the damports Franklin No, no Mrs.
Kyle, thats what there called, D-A-M-Port.
There wacky about dams.
Please daddy.
No.
Please Mr.
Kyle I'll do anything.
Anything? Alright, step over here.
I'll tell you what Mr.
Mumfruad, I'll let you come to Vegas with us, if you could knock this ball out of my han.
WAIT WAIT, I wasn't ready yet.
Deals a deal daddy.
How'd you do that? These new shoes I invented.
What is it, is it a snicker? There not just snickers.
Well are they a sandal? There not just sandals.
Well what the heck is it? I call them Sanandals.
Sanandals.
I even made a jingle to go with it.
anywho.
You work on that jingle.
And am going to work on my dribble .
Come on Franklin, lets go get some ice cream.
Franklin can i talk to you for a second? I'll join you in a moment my love.
Yes Mrs.
Kyle? I got a question for you.
How much you know about blackjack? Did you say blackjack? Hey, Dont touch the Sanandal.
Wow! Look at the lights.
Look at those slot machines.
Hey, hey, easy, easy.
Am just looking.
Hey look, theres Junior and Tony.
WHAT kinda foolishness Hi guys.
Boy what the hell are you two doing here? Well Tony said he was comin here to save you all so, I thought I'd help him, because where family.
Speaking of family, Did you leave you girlfriend and baby at home by themselfs? No.
There with there parents.
Vanessa was fine with it Besides, Junior jr.
doesn't need me to get his shots, am just gonna faint anyway.
That is so selfish and irresponsible, come here.
You are going back on the first plain to Conneticut tomorrow morning.
Its time for you to face your father responsibility, and start acting like an adult.
Okay dadUhhhhh a magician! Well forget that because your not going to see him, Your not spouse to be here and your not gonna have fun whilst you're here.
But daddy, he's not just any magician, its Harry Blacktop Jackson.
Whos that? I have no idea.
Boy forget about it okay, your not going.
Sorry Junior, sounds like the only magician your gonna be seeing is Harry who don't leave the roomy aaaaaanny who.
Okay listen, I guess we have gonna have to get an extra room for Tony here.
Oh no, thanks Mrs.
Kyle I mean but.
I wouldn't stay here in Sodoma e Gomorra I got a room down town at the Christian chapel with good decent people.
Fine, Suit your self Tony.
Hey Claire, maybe we can go to ahh.
.
"Services" tonight.
That sound like a great idea Tony, I'll see you later.
Whats all the damn winking about? Ohhhwere allergic to sin Mr.
Kyle.
hahaha.
.
bye.
Come on, forget him baby lets go get changed and have some funnnnnnnnn.
No, no, no, no fun for me okay.
I got to go prepare for the one on one with Jordan, gotta go check in first.
Ahh.
.
can i go see the magician if mom cam with me? Well am going to the SPA okay, and you gonna babysit Kady.
If you wont take care of your own kids, you can take care of mine.
Why can't Franklin watch her? Can we just check in please? Yes, good idea, we'll all just check-in, Jay? I WON, I WON $5.
$5.
Screaming and shouting Hi, checking into the "Fantasy Camp" Alrightttt, welcome, what is your name? My name is Michael -JORDAN! -Where! Where?, Michael Jordan! Where? Michael? Sucker, made you see.
I'm checking in Bob Slobadonapopovich.
Slobadonapopovich.
Yep, i have you right here.
welcome to senior flight school.
Hey, that wasn't Michael Jordan.
Ohhhh sorry, My badz.
Mr.
Slobadonapopovich, you will be playing Mr.
Jordan tomorrow at 1pm.
Ahhh.
.
then tomorrow at one, all 73 people Of my home country will celebrate my victory at Toshkas house.
Okay.
Look, Wayne Newton.
Yeah right, like am gonna fall for that one.
You can fool me once, shame on you, you fool me twiceahhh Then shame on.
ahme, but if you fool me three time, well then I probably needed to be fooled.
But your not going to fool me, because that man right there is not Wayne Newton.
Could be.
Yeah, but your not.
Look, I'am not going to argue Yes you are, Its to late now.
No am not.
-Yes you are.
-No.
-I wanna argue.
Well I don't wanna.
I do, we are, am arguing.
I'll tell you what, if your Wayne Newton than Why don't you sing his signature song Donkey Chains.
Let me here Donkey Chains.
Donkey Chains? Donkey Chains, you know like Expression of a donkey in chainsYou know Donkey Chains, the thing that holds the donkey to the.
to the post.
Your not referring to the song "Danke Shoen" are you? Dankewhat does that mean in english? Refresh my memory here, give me a little lyric of Donkey Chains.
Boys in pain, what kinda sick song is that? Hey, you wrote it, I didn't wright it.
Listen, the real lyric goes like this Look, obviously your not Wayne Newton, your a good impersonator.
But I know my Wayne Newton, Your not Wayne Newton.
Checking in Mr.
Newton.
Yeah sure am.
Wonderful, the Danke Shoen suite is ready to go.
Thank you.
Its Donkey Chains, You might want to put that down.
The Donkey Chain suite.
Any who What can i do for you Sir? Michael Kyle, checking in to "Fantasy Camp" Kyle? Kyle, K-Y-L-E, Kyle.
Don't have your name here Sir.
Oh it better be there.
You better check a little harder.
Dig a little deeper into the database.
I don't have any Kyles at all.
Don't mess with me man! I'ave come all the way from Conneticut! II'll check something else.
You do that.
You know I'm beginning to think Mr.
Jordan Is trying to hid from me.
Mr.
Kyle, .
.
I do have you here, you are signed up.
Thank god.
For next years camp.
Oh, next year huh.
NO! I'm sorry Sir, the fact is out camps are very much in demand.
And the last person that got in this year was a Mr.
Bob Slobadonapopovich -Damn that Bob Slobdpv.
vonadobapopqvpopovich! -Yeah -Damn him! We'll see you next year.
You will be seeing me before next year.
Lets do it Mike, Its just me and you, you dont have no Sky Pippin no Papa Jones to help you out.
Babe, what time you gonna be playing Michael Jordan? WellahhI don't really have an offical time Its kind unofficiallyhumthere still working out the particulars.
Well make sure you tell us because we wanna make sure we're there.
Yeah, and we can't wait to see you take Jordan to the hoop.
Yeah you laugh, laugh it up, Its not going to be so funny when am up in the air skying over Jordan like this You know what, am going to go down to the jym and work out, what you guys gonna do? Ahh.
.
I told you, am going to the Spa and am going to recline in lac of luxury.
No slot machines.
Babe, why you gonna say the word slot machines the word out of the clear blue sky? -Am just sayin' -You just gonna say that word to me Come on babe, thats the last thing on my mind.
Why all the quarters? Uh? Spa meters.
Right.
Claire, I want you back in this room by eleven.
Okay.
Thats E-L-E-M-B-M, ELEVEN.
Okay daddy, I'll come home right after "Services".
Alright.
wheres Franklin? He's in his room waiting for the damn fools to pick him up.
Alright you guys I gotta go, see you laterrrr.
Kady, you behave for your brother okay.
Yes daddy.
-Okay.
-I come all the way to Vegas to wind up and get stuck up in a room with a rotten kid.
Yeah, well you shouldn't be here in the first place.
You should be back in Conneticut with your own rotten kid.
So stop complaining.
Fine! Watch that attitude.
Sorry.
Bye daddy.
Bye baby.
Do you want to watch Bambi with me? No dear.
Are you sure? Didn't you just hear me I said "No dear"! I wanna go downstairs and see the magician.
But i can't stay here by myself.
Aww don't worry about that, I mean we're in a big city.
I'm sure we can find you a babysitter.
Lets look in the phonebook.
hmmmm lets seebb.
.
bBaby Dog Companions "We'll come to you".
Perfect.
Have you seen Michael Jordan? Because am going to do this to him Excuse me Sir, can you tell me witch room Michael Jordans in? You expect me to compromise my integrity, My job and the health and well fair of my children Not to mention the security of the most beloved superstar that ever grassed the hardwood? I can give you $300.
He's right there.
Another 100 I'll get you a ???, 200 you get the private tour For $1000 I hold Jordan down like a Thanksgiving turkey.
I turn my head, I don't know nothing, I don't see nothing.
Its okay, Just give me into the room.
Thank you.
Michael Jordan hands touched this door.
Now my hands are touching this door.
His assent is seeping into my body.
I can't keep my tounge in my mouth.
I am Michael Jordan.
Mike? M.
J.
? Its M.
K.
Are you here? Mike listen, theres been a little mistake down at the Camp.
Its his Jersey.
It doesn't even stink.
Michael Whispering To Himself Focus, Focus Mike.
Listen Mike, I need your help.
Are you in the bathroom? Mike listen I really wanna Thank you.
Lord forgive me.
Thank you.
Franklin, get over here.
Hi Mrs.
Kyle.
where you on your way to? I'm off to see the Dam port.
Okay, Franklin i need them a little bit more than they do okay.
Its that blackjack Franklin.
I'm in so deep Franklin, Michael is going to kill me.
But Mrs Kyle, can't you remember my blackjack system? No Franklin, its to complicated.
It couldn't be simpler.
Whats so hard about a series of long arithmetic calculations based on numerical progressions rising on the finance combinations of cards, based on a 52 card deck? Because I have no idea what you just said.
Listen to me listen to me good okay.
If you ever ever ever ever ever wanna see Kady again/Oh yeah I said it\.
Say it again.
If you ever wanna see Kady again, then you'll help me.
We have a deal, But how can I help you? am not even aloud casinos.
See I prepared for this Franklin.
This is where my genius comes in, I have a plan.
Would you like another card? Hmmmwhat do u think honey.
Franklin In a Cowboy accent I recon you should take a another hit little lady.
Excuse me Sir, how old are you? How dare you question me you stubbornish young rap scalene.
How old are you? 15botox.
Kid your not aloud a lawyer at the casino.
Excuse me I gotta go to the bathroom This old bladder aint as strong as it used to be.
You have 14, you wanna hit? I.
.
have14do I wanna hit? Take the hit.
Awww what a sweat little baby over here, Its a sweat baby.
Hey kid, I told you to keep moving.
Franklin Talks Like A Baby GO-GO-GAGA Get out! GO-GO-GOTTA-GO I have 18 and the dealer has 3, what should I do? Stay! I'll stay.
Hows that.
You win again.
Yes I do.
Unhand me you brotes, I want my lawyer.
Tony, where are your clothes? They stole them.
At the Christian Hostel? Yeah Claire, They even took my "What Would Jesus Do" bracelet.
Who would do a thing like that? I mean WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE!? I'm sorry.
Listen, am angry, but am glad Because after tonight I'll finally be able to rid myself some of these seeds of evil.
Great, lets get on with this.
Okay.
Hello, is anyone there? Can I help folks? Audience Clap Hi, are you the reverend.
I'm reverend Al.
Hi am Tony and this is Claire.
Nice to meat you young folks, .
but what happened to your clothes son? They where actually stolen down at the Christian Hostel.
I used to minister down at the Christian hostel.
I'm afraid that theres alot more hostel than Christian.
but how can I help you fine young people? Ah actually we would like to get married.
Ofcourse, you don't want a nice big wedding where your family and friends come and throw all that rice and money at you.
Forget about that gorgeous gown and tuxedo.
You want to get married in your dolphin undies.
In my tiny roach infested chapel It will prepare you for your tiny roach infested apartment, where you will raise your malnourished ignorant babies.
And look in the mirror at your beautiful body, starched out and pulled down and dry up.
And am just talking about you young man.
but come on, lets go into the back and get this done.
Ahhh.
maybe we should wait.
Why do the babies have to be ignorant? Gee, I hope I didn't say anything to scare you off.
No, Actually we where just leaving.
Well, Let me show you out.
You know, I used to have a "What Would Jesus Do" bracelet just like your.
No Kidding.
Yeah and it had my initials T.
J.
on it just like yours.
Well this one stands for "Thank You Jesus".
Thank you, Thank you so much.
For my next trick, I'd like to perform an illusionary originally mad famous by the great Harry Houdini.
The Tomb Of Teleportation And for that I'll need an audience volunteer please.
Ohh.
.
ohh.
.
pick me, I want to go in The Tomb Of Teleportation.
Very well, The big headed young man in the back.
Thats me, thats me.
And your name is? Junior Kyle.
Junior, where you from? Stanford Conneticut.
Wellthat boring get in the box.
I will now teleport this man back to a time and place of his choosing.
Young man where in time would you like to visit? Anytime, anyplace in all of history.
Anytime and anyplace? Let your imagination run wild.
Okay.
I wanna go back Yes? Back Ahaa.
.
Back Here we go.
All the way back to the one thirty buffet.
No wait, One O'clock thats before they ran out of shrimp.
Very well.
I will now ignore Juniors request to be teleported back to lunch Instead I will send him back to the stone age where perhaps he will meat someone as smart as himself.
Yes and its SimSimSimSalabim send Junior back to the timeless scene.
Thank you, Thank you.
Perhaps we should bring him back Before he gets eaten by a dinosaur? Alright, here we go.
Junior come on out.
Alright, for my next trick pick a card, anycard.
I'm so happy, I'm sad.
Me to.
Hey Kady baby am home heyho.
ho? Hi, you must be Mrs.
Kyle.
This is Bambi.
Bambi? Yes, your son hired meto watch Kady.
What kinda fool He told me he was going to the magic show.
Oh am gonna show him some magic, am gonna make my foot disappear.
Kady baby are you alright? Yeah am fine.
we watched bambi three times.
Parts of it are sad.
Yeah I know.
But for me its personal, Because my mother was shot by a hunter.
Ah.
.
look yeah Thanks for babysitting my daughter and everything, how much do I owe you? Well lets see.
Three happy endings, two pony rides and one ring around the rosey and that would be $900.
$900! Not Including the tip.
You want $900 plus a tip? Well, the money doesn't go to me it goes to Earl.
.
heeeheeeeheeeeeeee.
.
.
I mean "The Agency".
Alright Franklin, everything will be fine, just stay out of the casino.
Thanks Bob.
Hey, that was great the way you twisted the meaning of section 29 of the subpoena code.
You taught me that trick Franklin.
I did, didn't I.
Well, thanks again Bob.
Don't mention it, I owe you one pal.
You know if it wasn't for your late night tutoring session, I never would have got you know who off.
Excuse me, Hello.
Can I help you folks? Yes, where looking for our son.
Dumb, big head, Stanford Conneticut? Yeah, thats him.
Have you seen him? Yes, actually I made him disappear.
I need you to bring him back so I can beat his behind.
Thats the problem, I can't figure out how to get him back, theres been a malfunction in the illusion.
Prehaps I can help.
Yeah, you know about illusions? Im actually seven feet tall.
How do you do it? Mirrors? No, Black top.
The truth is I have quite a bit of experience with prestidigitation.
Honey, watch your mouth.
It means magic my dove.
I once preformed a floating man illusion for the queen.
Elizabeth? No, Latifa.
But thats another story.
Allow me to cogitate.
Oh he's good at this.
Which direction did you spin the box to make him disappear? Counter clockwise.
Fear not.
Now spin it clockwise Keep spiningKeep spiningKeep spiningStop! right there.
Junior enters shouting How did you to that? With out giving away the secrets of illusion, Juniors head was so big that it got ????? in the ?????.
I was so scared back there.
You think you where scared wait till i take you back to the room.
What did I do? Why don't you tell us about Bambi the hooker, And how you plan on paying her $900 Junior.
$900? Yeah, 900.
Wow thats alot.
For $900 I hope she did a little miss muffin, a couple of humpty dumptys And a cow jumped over the moon.
For that kinda money you gotta get two hey diddle diddle, One Rampelstilsken, a rubba dub dub and three men in a tub.
-Did I say that out loud? -Yeah.
This is so cool.
Your lucky you get to see this at all, if there was an earlier flight you wouldn't be here.
Yeah i know, but still, how many kids get to watch there dad kick Michael Jordans butt? Yeah but dads gonna win because he's going to SPIN TO THE LEFT AND TAKE JORDAN TO THE HOOP.
MAN OVER SPEAKER And now from North Carolina, number 23Michael Jordan MAN OVER SPEAKER From republic Penzac StocomaBob Slobadonapopovich Bob SlobadonapopoWho? Hey, are those my shoes? ErrNo, I got these from the Jordan store in republic Penzac Stoco.
jama.
Alright, lets play.
I hope you ready for this.
See thats the triple threat.
Next.
Wait, you didn't let meyou didn't let me get ready.
Next.
Wait.
Next.
Let me just play, I got this special move.
What, what do you want to play to? Play to ten.
Alright, I get the ball first.
Well thats not fair.
I get the ball first.
Ready? Am ready, you ready? Drop the ball.
Do it with your eyes closed and am impressed.
I wasn't playing defence, I wasn't playing "D", thats that Joe Doom defense, look at that.
3 v 0 Its alright.
4 v 0 Can't shot it from there.
That aint your spot.
That aint your spot, you aint got no spot there.
Whats that? Ermm.
.
3 v3 v 2.
7 v 0.
8 v 0.
Lucky shots, Lucky eight shots.
Is someone tired.
No.
See, see that defence.
All defence.
Next.
Hey, where you going? Am leaving this camp.
Why? Why? because my secret move didn't even work on you.
So you gonna quit.
Yeah.
If you quit right now your gonna quit in life.
Come on don't quit, just try harder.
Just wanted one bucket.
Am sorry Bobwhats your name again? Its Mike, just like your.
Everybody wants to be like Mike, good luck kid.
I'll never wash it, yeah maybe I should wash it.
Heading to the airport dad.
Okay son, have a good flight.
You okay dad? Yeah am great.
Well your taking this very well.
Its just a game, and look I won a trophey, came in second, to last.
Thats 23rd place thats his favorite number.
Wow dad, that would make a great key chain.
Listen I saw you talking to Jordan afterwards, What did he say? No nothing, he was just complementing me how good I played, and my aggressiveness.
He wanted me to show him the spin move.
What about you son, you made any decisions yet, or are you still thinking about quiting fatherhood? Well, am still scared dad.
The whole reason why I came to Las Vegas was I didn't want to see the baby get his shots.
I couldn't stand to hear him crying, I don't know if I can do this father thing.
Ofcourse you can, because your my son.
And in your heart your a true champion, and champions don't quit.
See if you quit now your going to quit in life, and quiters never win.
See you got to be able to lose in order to win.
So just don't quit.
That was beautiful dad.
I can't quit now, if I quit now I will always be a loser.
So I need to focus on winning at the important stuff like, Loving Vanessa and loving my son.
Hello son, hows daddys boy? hows daddys boy doing? Look, your heading in the right direction.
Okay.
You have your brass ring now.
Speaking off rings, look at that.
Wow, where did you get that? Michael Jordan gave it to me.
He just gave it to you? Yep, because I was determined and I didn't quit.
.
and I gave him $15,000.
Wow when you die can I have that? Don't mind digin' I don't dad, Thank you.
I love you dad.
Love you to.
Hey dad when I grow up, I wanna be just like you.
Everybody wanna be like Mike.
Whos this, whos this? Fault.
You reach, I teach.
Thats traveling.
No, thats not traveling? Traveling, traveling.
you were traveling.
No.
Traveling.
They aint no red flag here.
Im the ref.
Its my Camp dude.
Reach and I dribble the ball.
You didn't know about that.
No.
Take some off that.
Created: Ballin'